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Chocolate Syrup and Lemonade (great things that are horrible together)

by the-pieman

Chapter 1: Chocolate Syrup and Lemonade

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This Story was written by a half man-half pie mutant, an aardvark, and a purple striped kangaroo between the time of 10:51 PM and 11:35 PM.

Our epic tale begins with David Hasselhoff riding Celestia while dressed as a cowboy, going through space crashing through an asteroid field. When they come to a stop, they meet Pacman and do some magic mushrooms, then they challenge Nyan cat to a race. Unfortunately, just as Princess Celestia was about to cross the finish line, they are interrupted by ninja sharks with lasers. In order to combat this threat, Celestia summons a human from another dimension, a mentally inept Pokémon Trainer! Then Ash sends out a Metapod and Metapod uses Water Gun on the ninja sharks, but IT'S NOT VERY EFFECTIVE!

But then suddenly, the Laser Ninja Sharks run off because they are attacked by a T-Rex with a flaming mohawk and a moustache made of justice who unzips his costume, revealing that he is a flock of pink and purple polka-dotted pelicans. Ash is then trampled to death by the Hulk driving a Ferrari. The Hulk then drives his Ferrari to the local KFC and demands a hamburger but when they refuse to serve him, he politely excuses himself.

Suddenly out of nowhere, Chucky and the doll from 'Saw' get into a knife fight about 'Who looks more adorable' which eventually degrades into the World's Most Disturbing Make Out Session™. At which point all the pelicans mistake the kissing dolls for giant burritos and eat them all, causing the pelicans to explode from pure logic and from out of the explosion comes the T-1000 and a Dalek Who begin a furious match of Twister. Seeing this, Celestia gives up and goes back home somehow.

The T-1000 is obviously easily beaten by the Dalek and commits suicide, for he has disgraced his religion. The Dalek proceeds to hump the Hulk but the Hulk says he's "not in the mood tonight", so the dalek goes back and rapes the corpse of the T-1000. Suddenly Steven Magnet walks in and asks if he can get in on it. The ghost of the T-1000 immediately responds, "You didn't even need to ask." To which Steven replies "Great! By the way, I baked you a pie!"
"Oh boy!" the Hulk says excitedly "What flavor!?". The Dalek answers the painfully obvious question "PINKIE PIE FLAVOR!" Steven Magnet replies "I like trains." Then they're all run over by Pinkie Pie driving a train. Who is then quickly surpassed by Tron Lightcycles Who use their light trails to draw a picture of Steven Hawking in a slapping fight with Bill Gates Which comes to life! The light drawings ascend to the sky and become a new constellation which is then named by the Greeks and is translated into "Nerds in a sissy fit." Then the Greeks take a day from February, add it to May, and call it "Nip Slip on the Band Trip: Part Two: Electric Boogaloo" day.


The Laser Ninja Sharks kill all the Greeks for not being giant talking pencils, but the Greeks are all pinatas so the sharks leave them alone. The ghost of the T-1000 eats the magic candy and comes back to life just in time for his planned obsolescence, so he buys a cheap apartment in Reno and spends the rest of his days watching re-runs of "Charles in Charge". Unfortunately, the T-1000 meets up with Norman Bates who decides to give the T-1000 a chibi Cthulhu plushie.
The chibithulhu comes to life and bites both of their heads off, screaming that he wishes he wasn't a Carebear before he flies into the night, singing the lyrics to Cake's 'Sick of You' in French. He arrives home just in time to remove his bean sprout souffle from the oven. When he finishes his souffle, he then looks at his stomach, there is a picture of the forty-second Element of Harmony. Seeing this, he yells, "I got my cutie mark! Now I can use the power of the Chaos Emeralds to go into dragoon form and save Tristram!!" Suddenly A Wild Distraction appears! "But first, I should check what's new on Fimfiction.net!" He then reads through this epic tale and his body goes supernova in an enormous burst of magic and wonder.

And that's how the platypus was born!
The end!


P.S. Don't forget to read the SECOND chapter!

Next Chapter: Explanations and Due Blame Estimated time remaining: 4 Minutes
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