Tags: Rainbow Dash; Sad

Dash saved Fluttershy from being roasted by a dragon, in a glorious last second rescue.

Fluttershy is safe, but Dash didn't emerge unscathed. Now she has to live with the sacrifice she made for her friend's life.

But hey, they were just wings.

So I was talking to Brawney Hooves about The Cupcake Chronicles, and the “Dash loses her wings” trope in general one day, and I started thinking about how I would write it, if I were to write it. I decided that I would do something where she lost her wings saving somepony else. It creates a situation where she can't really wish it hadn't happened, she still has to love her friend even while she partially blames her.

So I wrote this to show him what I meant. I considered publishing it, but it sounds like a prologue for something I never intend to write.

Also the rambling internal monologue is first person, because I love first person.

***

“Is there anything we can do for you, Rainbow Dash?” The doctor said kindly.

Dash barely noticed the doctor. She should have known. When the fire hit her, when Rarity and Pinkie Pie screamed. When she felt that searing pain, and started to fall.

But then it all went black, and she woke up at the hospital, her brain swimming through pain killers. And she almost thought, while she finished surfacing, that it would be okay. They'd fix her. A few weeks and she's be back to normal.

She was wrong.

She blinked at the doctor, who was waiting for her answer. She felt tears in her eyes but she didn't even care. When she opened her mouth to speak all she could manage was a strangled, “Gimme a minute.”

The doctor nodded and stood up, “Take all the time you need, Rainbow.”

As he walked away, Rainbow Dash laid back on the bed and let the tears stream down her face, sobs wracking her bandaged body. She closed her eyes.

My wings are gone. My wings are gone. My wings are gone.

NO! This is not possible. I'm Rainbow Dash, and Rainbow Dash has wings. Rainbow Dash is wings. This is absolutely, totally the worst dream ever.

It's not. It's not a dream. My wings are gone.

But Fluttershy is alive. If I hadn't rescued her, she'd be dead. If that dragon's fire could burn off my wings, it would've killed her for sure. I seriously saved her life. I gave up my wings for Fluttershy's life. It was totally worth it.

. . . right?

Right! Of course it was worth it! Fluttershy is one of my best friends! Wings are just. . . wings.

. . . My hopes. My dreams. Everything that made me awesome and special. Just wings.

No wings.

Fluttershy. Fluttershy is alive.

Fluttershy has wings. Stupid, crumby wings that she wouldn't even use to get out of the way of a dragon! Why couldn't she fly away? Why couldn't she lose her wings? She wouldn't even care!

Oh Celestia. . .

Rainbow Dash, get ahold of yourself! She was scared, she couldn't move. I never want to see Fluttershy hurt like this, I never want anypony else to be hurt like this.

I don't want to be hurt like this. I just want my wings. How can I get my wings?

Princess Celestia! Maybe she has some awesome spell that'll give me my wings back! She'd do it for me, right? I'm an element of harmony, I'm loyalty, and I was saving the life of one of my friends, another element of harmony! Princess Celestia will fix this.

. . .Because I'm the first pegasus ever who lost their wings in an accident? And Princess Celestia never helped them because she doesn't like helping ponies who aren't all that important? That . . . doesn't really sound like Princess Celastia, does it?

But she's Princess Celestia! She raises the sun! She can do anything!

But, ponies still die. And ponies lose their wings. And she just keeps raising the sun.

I have no wings.

Fluttershy is alive.

The sun will come up.

And. . . that's that.

No wings.

Ever.

No Wonderbolts. No flying. No sonic rainboom. No cloud house. No job. Nothing. That's what I am without wings, nothing.

That isn't true. I can run, I can. . . I can run. I can run as fast as Applejack. Of course, Applejack can also buck apples and run a farm and herd things. I can play pranks with Pinkie. Pinkie can bake and throw parties and do all those Pinkie things that don't make sense.

I'm not special.

Rainbow Dash is not special. I'm just another pony who can do things all the other ponies can do.

I was special! I was the best! I want it back I want it back I WANT MY WINGS BACK!

I want my friends. I need to calm down. They'll help me, they'll make it better. They can't make it better, but they will anyway.

Oh Celestia, Fluttershy. Fluttershy can't see me like this. She'll feel so bad!

Because this is her fault.

NO! This is totally, one hundred percent NOT Fluttershy's fault. Fluttershy did not find a dragon and try to figure out how to get it to burn my wings off. Fluttershy almost died. And I saved her, and I would save her again.

I have to tell her that. I have to tell all of them that. I have to show them that this isn't a big deal, not compared to what could have happened.

Yeah, losing my wings is totally not a big deal.

Losing my wings is a humongous deal. I know it, Fluttershy knows it, all of my friends know it. I can't act like everything is cool. It's as not cool as it could possibly be.

But Fluttershy is alive.

Maybe if I could just not see her right away, maybe I could ask everypony else to come in and. . .

Yeah, that's not gonna make her cry, Dash.

Everything makes her cry. She's been crying since that dragon attacked, and no matter what I do she's going to cry. Because of me.

She's alive because of me.

She's going to cry because she's sorry for me. They're all sorry for me.

So? I'm sorry for me. I'm pitiful.

I used to be awesome. Awesome to pitiful in one hot, painful minute. It's a crash. It's just a crash. I've lived through crashes before.

I'll never crash again. Not like this. You have to be awesome to crash like this. I'm no longer awesome, so this is the last crash of my life.

More like this crash is the rest of my life. One long painful crash, forever.

Stop thinking like that. I'm alive. Fluttershy is alive. There's more to life then flying. There's more to me then wings. There has to be more to me then wings.

Because I don't have wings.

But I'm still here, and my friends are here. That's all that matters.

They were just wings.

Dash dried her tears. Her nose was still stuffy and her face felt hot and raw, but there was no point in hiding it.

“Nurse?” She called. “Could you send in my-”

Rainbow Dash didn't finish the sentence before her friends were standing around her bedside. All of them stared at her, tears in their eyes, nopony knowing quite what to say. Dash felt the sob building and the tears coming back, and before she let herself go she managed to choke out, “They- were just- wings.”