Chapter 3: Scales
“I wonder which cute, furry little creatures I’ve awoken.”

For as young as she was, I was surprised to find that Little Doc hadn’t been kidding around when she bragged about her skill. And yes, her name actually was Little Doc; I didn’t really bother to ask how she’d been given such a name and conveniently ended up as a doctor, but I didn’t know much about pony naming so I assumed they must be given their names after choosing their line of work. I still felt a good amount of pain during much of her work, and wanted nothing more than to smack her on several occasions, but she assured me it was only because I’d been a ‘bitch’ to her.

The most painful part by far was the treatment of my shoulder, and Doc actually started to look upset about how much it hurt. While she worked on the wound she explained that I had taken up something called ‘sepsis’, and that I was lucky to have found her so fast. Looks like Felix had been right about getting an infection from the little bugs in my blood. To remove the sepsis, the filly first cleaned out the wound with a viciously bristled brush that tore at my skin and flesh while it pulled the sewage and dirt out of my shoulder. I had hoped her shocking me would also remove any pain I might feel, but it seemed I was mistaken. My hooves started to get some feeling back as she worked, and I could move them a little, but while the filly scrubbed at my shoulder I didn’t even feel like moving.

I don’t know how long I spent on that table, but as Doc pulled the last few stitches tight in my shoulder (healing potions were for some reason out of question for me), Felix returned with the other two ponies. I was relieved to see a box hanging from Felix’s mouth, even if I had no idea what it said on the outside. I hoped it was food, that would be amazing after going so long without anything to eat, no matter what it was.

As Doc had promised, I was able to stand once her work was done. I don’t know how she managed to figure out how long I would be down for, or how she paced her work perfectly to match that promise, but I didn’t think twice about it at the time. Once she confirmed I was good to go, I rolled from the table and touched down with a wince. My shoulder still burned from the stitching, but at least she had cleaned the nastiness from my cuts and assured me I wouldn’t need to worry about an infection as long as I came back for a shot for the next few days. I was grateful for her help, but I didn’t know if I would be around much longer for those shots, any doctor would have the stuff to do that right?

“Thanks,” I told Doc, trying not to show too much pain around Felix.

“Don’t thank me until you pay me,” she replied with a smug grin.

Wait, pay? For saving my life? Is that how things worked in the Wasteland? Back home if anyone was sick the town’s doctor would fix you up because it was their job, their duty, not to take away the money you needed to buy food. Maybe it was just a pony thing.

“Pay you for what?” I asked with a confused look.

Her smile straightened into a look of anger. “What do you mean ‘what for’? I just used a bunch of rare supplies and hours from my day to fix your stupidity,” she growled, or as much as she could with a voice crack or two.

What kind of doctor was this? If someone couldn’t pay she would just let them die? “I don’t have any money!” I snapped. “How am I supposed to pay you at all?”

“You ran away without any caps?” Charmer asked from the door, almost sounding like she wanted to laugh at my stupidity.

And what were caps? Was that what ponies called coin? “I had money. But I lost my bag in the sewer.” The sewer I didn’t feel like going back into.

I heard Doc’s hoof hit her face behind me. “You couldn’t tell me this before I wasted my time and supplies on you?”

And I was back to hating her, even if she did just save me. “Saving someone is a waste to you?” I asked viciously, spinning back around to face her.

“If they don’t pay me, yes!” she yelled back. “If you don’t pay me, how am I supposed to replace the supplies I used? What if somepony else needs stitches?”

I didn’t even think of that. Back home the Remnant would supply our doctor with new supplies every few weeks. He never had to pay for it; he was given it because the Remnant actually cared enough to make sure we were all healthy and alive. What kind of society did ponies have that their government wouldn’t supply them with medical tools and medicine? Did they want their villages to die?

Rather than argue it further, I just accepted that ponies were just as bad as the stories I’d been told as a filly. I didn’t think I should have to pay for Doc to save my life, but if she was so short on supplies that fixing me for free would cause another pony to die, I didn’t have much of a choice. “How can I make some coin?” I asked hesitantly.

“I don’t know, ask around town for anyone that needs help,” Doc replied, finally seeming to calm down now that I was agreeing to pay. “You’d be surprised how many ponies will pay for simple work to be done.”

Charmer broke in behind us, stepping forward with a grin. “I could use a little help, if you’re interested.”

That smile didn’t look like an ‘I have simple work for you’ smile.

And it wasn’t. I had never heard of a snake before, but apparently Charmer was responsible for feeding them after they hatched and killing them once they got to a certain size. I couldn’t imagine why such a job would exist; it just seemed pointless to give food to a creature you eventually planned on killing. Either way, it was what Charmer did, and if she was to be believed, she had been slacking a little on killing the older snakes.

It was a bit of a walk to reach The Nest, nobody in town wanted the creatures too close to their homes for some reason. Though I was the one who owed money, Felix and Strike had volunteered to help out with the job. Felix because he’s my brother, and Strike because he loaned me a gun and wanted to make sure I didn’t break it. Before we left he spent a few minutes showing me how to use the little pistol, a 10mm he’d had since he was a colt, and made sure I knew how to reload, aim and fire the gun without a problem. The target practice we did proved I could shoot, but not necessarily accurately. Charmer suggested I might try practicing a little more before we went off to kill her snakes, but I wanted to get the money to pay off Doc as quick as possible.

As we had while walking to town, Charmer and I walked side by side while Strike and Felix chatted. The difference was that Charmer and I took the lead this time, since the green pony was the one that knew the way. Just like before, we didn’t talk nearly as much as Felix and Strike, but I did bring up a few questions about the job.

Apparently, a snake was a long, scaly animal with sharp fangs that had once been very small. However, as with most every other animal in Equestria, the radiation from the apocalypse had mutated them into a much larger monster. The hatchlings were still small, but they grew very fast, and could easily reach the size of a pony within a few weeks. I didn’t ask why the mare raised them; I could only assume it was for personal reasons of some kind. She explained how to kill the snakes, and it sounded simple enough to me: shoot them until they stop moving, then one more time for good measure. It sounded like easy money to me, and I liked having a gun to kill them rather than having to wrestle with them like I did with the ghoul; fangs sounded like not so much fun in my body.

When we reached The Nest, it was a large hole in the ground that delved Caesar knows how deep under the dirt. Great, another underground fight. Thankfully, the hole had a few lamps running down one side to light the passage and hopefully whatever was at the end. I couldn’t tell if they’d been there originally, or if Charmer had added them herself, but either way it was good to know that I would actually be able to see what I was shooting at.

“Try to be quiet in the tunnel,” Charmer told me in a soft voice. “I don’t wanna spook ‘em.”

I couldn’t tell if she was saying that to protect us, or if she was worried about scaring the monsters before killing them. I hoped it was the former, but the small frown at the corner of her mouth made me think it was more of the latter. How could she be sad about killing a monster that was our size or bigger and would probably kill us on sight? It didn’t make any sense to me. I shook the question from my mind and quietly followed Charmer into the tunnel. Felix and Strike even stopped their chit chat as we descended, casting the group into a silence that reminded me of our walk through the sewer that morning. A shiver of worry passed down my spine.

The tunnel itself was a bit longer than I had expected, and was wide enough for two ponies to walk side by side if they wanted to, but we remained in single file. On either side a smaller tunnel was dug in every so often with a soft glow I could see deeper in, just large enough for a thin pony to slip through. Several hoofprints were weaved between the tunnels, apparently they were heavily trafficked by Charmer or another pony, and among them were several ‘S’ shaped trails leading down the larger tunnel; they were barely small enough to fit in the smaller tunnels. Charmer paid these tunnels no mind, simply trotting by them without a second thought, her eyes kept straight ahead as we continued to descend.

At the end of the tunnel we stepped into a large chamber. Fewer lamps were on the walls there, casting long shadows through most of the room and making it harder to see anything. In the middle of the room was a large pile of shredded paper, cardboard, moldy hay, and all other forms of trash. Pony sized holes were dug into several places on the pile, and a few bones were littered around the entrance to each. I couldn’t see any snakes or what might be a snake anywhere in sight, in fact the chamber seemed abandoned.

Charmer waved for us to stop a few feet inside the chamber, and stepped closer to the pile of scrap alone. When she was only inches from the nearest hole, the mare reached into her bag and pulled out a small pipe. I looked to Felix and Strike, trying to see if they were as confused as I was. Felix’s face had a look similar to my own while he watched Charmer, but Strike looked on as if he had seen this before. I turned my gaze back to Charmer, and was surprised to see her sitting beside the hole with the pipe held in her hooves with one end between her lips.

It started soft, barely loud enough for me to hear even in the silent chamber, but soon the whistling tune grew to a point where I could tell what it was. I had seen one of the elders back home playing a similar instrument before, but his was longer and gave a deeper tone than the small flute Charmer played. I couldn’t tell how the mare managed to change the tone of the tiny tube when it was only barely longer than her hooves, but she pulled more notes from its metal than the elder zebra had ever gotten from his.

The song of her instrument varied between longer, somber tones, and flits of quicker notes which at first seemed strange, but soon grew to be a beautiful melody in my ears. The tune fell from its original high whistle to a deeper lullaby. The music sounded sad, regretful, but at the same time it held a note of happiness and hope.

My eyes peeled away from the flute playing mare to a waving motion that bothered the corner of my vision. Rising from the pile of scrap was a long, slender form with deep brown scales running down its body. It wasn’t exactly what I had expected of a snake, and the oddly sporadic burs jutting from random points along the body definitely looked threatening enough to me. I pulled the pistol from my bag, taking aim before Strike pushed the barrel down with his hoof. I looked over to him, and placed the gun back in my bag at the shake of his head.

My gaze returned to the pile, where three more heads rose from the pile, each swaying rhythmically to the music which filled the air around them. When I was told we were going to kill snakes, I didn’t expect to see that. I expected thrashing monsters intent on killing us all, not the peaceful swaying I was watching.

After a few minutes of tranquility and dance brought by Charmer’s flute, the music flowed off into nothing, and the mare slowly placed the tube back into her bag. I could have sworn her eyes glinted with tears.

Her head returned with a pistol larger than my own, and without warning a gunshot tore through the silence. One of the snakes fell limp and slid down the trash pile into a still lump at the base. One more shot, and a splash of blood erupted from its head. The room filled with vicious hissing as the other three snakes stopped swaying and took up more of the image I was expecting. Their mouths opened wide revealing rows of long sharp teeth, their jaws dripping with saliva as they glared down at us. I took that as the proper time to pull out my gun again, and soon the room filled with gunfire.

The monsters were faster than I expected, slithering across the ground quicker than anything that big should be able to, and suddenly appearing in front of me. Reared up, the snake was almost double my height, and definitely more angry than that ghoul had been. I quickly pulled the trigger, sending a stream of three bullets into the monster standing before me. Two punched into its scales, but the third went wide. The head suddenly appeared behind me, and I found myself being wrapped in the scale and spike covered coils that made up the snake. I swung my head around, firing wildly whenever I saw its head and hoping I would get lucky. One or two hit the long scales under the monster’s jaw, but didn’t stop it from tightening around me. Spikes dug into my skin, not quite penetrating yet as I felt my body being folded in two. A louder gunshot than my own echoed through the chamber and felled the snake before I could be snapped. Blood ran over my mane and head from the oversized hole that had been gouged into the beast’s nose, and I looked over to see Strike still taking aim with his rifle.

Following Charmer’s advice, the stallion put another bullet into the serpent’s head from point blank range, ensuring it wouldn’t rise again. Charmer had taken out another of the beasts while I was fighting mine, and was galloping toward the last, which had taken to chasing Felix. Since he didn’t have a gun, apparently my brother had decided to run diversion tactics, distracting the snakes as best he could while the rest of us gunned them down.

Me and Strike turned our guns on the distracted beast, putting every bullet we could into it without risking a shot on Felix. Its body shook from each impact, but none of us could hit it anywhere vital with how quickly it was moving. Eventually however, even that monster could only stand so many bullets. Its movement slowed, and the three eyed head crumpled to the ground. Strike once again delivered the final shot just above the snout, and a long hiss escaped the serpent’s scaled lips, a final breath.

Once we were sure each of the snakes was dead, I placed Strike’s borrowed gun back into my bag. Mission accomplished, time to get my coin and go pay off Doc, and it was surprisingly easier than I had expected.

“Okay, let’s…” I turned to see Strike standing off to the side while Charmer bowed her head over the last snake we had killed. “Um…are we leaving?” I asked curiously, eager to get out of the cave.

Strike looked to me and shook his head before motioning over to Charmer. The mare looked so sad as she nuzzled her head into the largest of the snakes we’d killed, muttering under her breath. She pulled a jar from her bag and placed it on the ground beside her. “Shayle, can you help me out?” she asked quietly, her voice filled with regret.

“Uh…sure,” I replied, stepping up to her side and waiting to see what she needed.

Strike motioned to Felix and the two left, trotting back out through the tunnel we had come down in. I didn’t know what was going on, and it was starting to creep me out a little. Felix glanced back to me with a worried look, but still followed Strike back out of the cave.

“They’ll be okay,” Charmer assured me. “They’re going to get your pay from the mayor, we can meet ‘em back at Doc’s place.”

That did a little to calm me, but I was still confused as to what was going on. We had killed the snakes, why were we still standing around here? And what was that jar for? “What do you need me to help with?” I asked skeptically.

Charmer pushed the serpent’s mouth open, ducked her head to the back of its throat and looked around. “Can ya’ hold the jar under his glands for me?”

“Glands?” What glands? All I saw were teeth and a lot of half-rotting skin at the back of the mouth.

The green pony pointed at two bulging spots at the back of the serpent’s jaw, still managing to hold the mouth open by balancing it on her backside. “Don’t worry, he won’t hurt us now.”

Why did she keep calling the monster a ‘he’? I had way too many questions at this point, and only a few were being answered. Still, I lifted the jar with my tail and held it under the first ‘gland’ Charmer had pointed out, not quite willing to climb inside the mouth. A knife appeared in her mouth, and the mare made a quick slit in the bulge, letting out a stream of viscous yellow fluid into the jar. Okay, yuck.

Once that gland stopped leaking Charmer moved to the next one, pulling my tail and the jar where she needed it. At least now I knew why the snakes needed to be killed, whatever was in those glands must have been important if she risked her life fighting them just to get it. But I still hadn’t seen why she would be sad about killing them. They were monsters, but she was acting like she had just killed another pony.

We moved from snake to snake silently, extracting the yellow fluid from each until the jar was full. Charmer sighed heavily and sealed the jar, placing it in her bag carefully before trotting up to the mound of scrap. “Only one more thing to do,” she told me, waving for me to follow her.

She led me into the largest of the holes in the mound, and I was surprised to see a soft light glowing inside. I didn’t know what else we could be doing, we had already killed the snakes and drained them, what else did she need? At the end of the tight tunnel was another chamber, much smaller than outside naturally, but it looked like it could have made up the majority of the trash heap. Taking up most of the space was a winding, brown, scaly body at least double the size of the snakes lying dead outside. I froze in the entry, staring at the coiled mass with fear as Charmer casually strolled up to it.

A four eyed head rose from the coils to look down at us, its pronged tongue flicking out every few seconds with a hiss. This one didn’t have the vicious spikes jutting from its hide like the others, instead seeming to have a very smooth body with a few holes punched between the scales. The monster didn’t lunge at either of us, it just stared for a moment before lowering its head down to Charmer. I waited for the toothy maw to open and take down the pony with one gulp before turning on little old me, and I desperately wanted to pull out my pistol and run.

Instead, Charmer nuzzled the thing, smiling and talking to it like a baby! “Aw, who’s Mama’s big girl? You are!”

I can’t even explain what I felt at that moment.

“Did Neishka leave Mama some new babies?” the coddling continued as I stared with my jaw dropped. The four eyes spun up to me, and a low hiss grumbled through the room. Charmer looked back at me before chuckling. “Don’t worry ‘bout her, she’s a friend baby.” The snake still didn’t look away. “She doesn’t like you,” Charmer whispered back to me.

Of course ‘she’ didn’t, I had just killed her…children? I was more lost than ever, and Charmer wasn’t helping at all. I stayed put as the giant snake stared me down with a look that screamed ‘You look yummy’; Charmer on the other hoof climbed over the coils of ‘Neishka’ and into the middle of the chamber. The serpent didn’t seem to mind at all, never even flinching as the mare clambered over her and out of sight. She returned less than a minute later with two small orbs perched on top of her head, smiling brightly.

The mare cuddled into the snake’s snout again, whispering something about ‘good baby Neishy’ before turning back to me. “Okay, we can go.” She once again sounded like Charmer instead of a mother with her first born.

I looked at her with a confused stare before following her back out of the trash pile. I waited until we had completely left the mound before speaking up, for some reason worried the giant snake would burst out and devour me if I spoke too soon. “What…was that?” I asked, waving back to the tunnel.

“That was Neishka, she lays the eggs,” Charmer explained calmly. She grinned happily as she trotted back toward the main tunnel, keeping her head perfectly still while the two small balls, probably eggs, rested in her mane.

“I mean…why did you talk to it like that?” I clarified. I already knew that it was Neishka, she’d made that pretty clear with her baby talk.

The mare didn’t even look back at me, still happily walking up the tunnel with the eggs. “Because she’s my baby, I raised ‘er from the day she hatched.”

And then I understood it. She didn’t just kill the snakes, she bred them. Raised them. They were her pets, if not more than that in her mind. It explained her sadness at killing them, the lights inside the smaller tunnels, and especially her babying back inside the mound. The big smile of joy at having more eggs was because she had more little hatchlings to take care of. I had seen zebras back home with mutated dogs as pets, but these things? That was still a shock to me even after I figured out what was happening.

Charmer wiggled into one of the small tunnels, disappearing for a moment before returning with the eggs no longer on top of her head. “All tucked in, ready to go?”

I wasn’t sure if her care for the serpents was a good thing, or straight up creepy. No, it was creepy, only because of the way she talked to them and ‘tucked in’ eggs. “Eh…yeah,” I replied, happy to finally be getting back on the surface.

“Ya’ know,” Charmer said suggestively as we made our way out. “If you want, you can come back tomorrow morning and help me with feeding while I play for ‘em.” Nope, didn’t care to do that. “It would earn you a few extra caps to pay Doc.”

Crap.

Apparently, killing snakes didn’t net Charmer much in the way of pay. We were given 50 caps each, which was apparently the standard fee for whoever dealt with the serpents when the time came. I highly doubted it was enough to pay off Doc, but I was hoping it could at least take a big chunk out of it.

And just for a second I have to ask a question: Who in Equestria decided that bottle caps were the standard currency? Was it some pony in a junkyard who thought, “boy, I’ve got a lot of bottles around here, I wish I could get rid of the caps somehow. WAIT! I can convince everyone that they are money!” It didn’t make any sense to me. The Remnant didn’t use caps, those were trash. The round discs of stamped metal Father brought home were money. Okay, bad explanation since that’s technically what bottle caps are, but you know what I mean! They were thicker, more substantial, and more… money-like.

But I couldn’t argue, and I guess I would have to get used to it. I didn’t agree with their money choice, but they seemed content with it. I turned around and gave all of my caps to Little Doc, and was delighted to find out it covered half of my medical bill. One job down, and apparently only one more to go! I was excited; I could finally be free of my debt and try my best to not get hurt again! But then Doc asked a question I hadn’t even considered.

“What are you and your brother going to do after that?”

I…I had no idea. I hadn’t thought of it, just like when I had left home. I’d left without a plan of what to do after, and I still hadn’t thought of anything. I didn’t know where we were going, or what we were looking for. I never had anything in mind other than ‘I don’t want to live in this town anymore’.

“I guess…we’ll just wander?” I suggested, still not solving my problem.

“Wander…the Wasteland?” Doc looked like she was about to burst with squeaky laughter. “Are you insane?”

I glared at her. I wasn’t crazy! A lot of zebras travelled around, so ponies must do the same right? I just had to stay away from dark places where ghouls would be, and places where snakes would be…basically just stay above ground. It couldn’t be hard. “Why is that so bad?” I asked.

“Not even raiders wander. They set up shop somewhere semi-safe, just like everypony else,” the young mare explained. “Besides, your brother doesn’t look like the wandering type.”

She was right about that. He wasn’t much for adventure even as a colt, preferring to sit around and read rather than play outside most days. He wasn’t a shut in, but he wasn’t obsessed with the outdoors either. “So what do you think I should do?” I asked, hoping for a doable response.

“Do like everyone else,” she told me plainly. “Find a safe place to settle down.”

That wasn’t a bad idea I guess. I wouldn’t really mind a full time home as long as it was better than my last one, but I couldn’t really think of a place to go. Ponies didn’t seem very kind toward zebras, and I wasn’t exactly keen on them yet either. They were crazy, all of them. Not murderous like I’d been told as a filly, but still completely insane and backwards.

So I sketched it out in my mind; a little house or something for me and Felix to live in, just in case it sounded like a good idea to him too. I still wasn’t completely sure if it was what I wanted, but at the time it was still the best thing that had been brought up. And it did sound quite a bit better than just wandering around, of course it meant trying to find somewhere with other zebras who wouldn’t shoot me and my brother on site for being ‘spies’.

“After you finish paying me of course,” the filly added with a crack in her voice.

Like I said; backwards.

Luckily for me, the mayor of the town, a stallion named Merry Scroll, had a job he needed done for a healthy sum of 150 caps. It was more than enough to finish paying Doc and leave some more on the side for me and Felix after. Of course those extra caps would be going to getting new bags for me, a gun, and a good amount of food for us to travel with. I still liked the idea of settling down, but I would rather a zebra town of some kind. This little village was a nice place, but I didn’t necessarily feel safe there. Charmer and Strike I wasn’t worried about, but the rest of the town still didn’t seem comfortable with us. They probably still held the same original thought that our two pony companions did; we were Remnant spies in their eyes. The elders had been right about that at least, zebras weren’t very good in the eyes of ponies.

Maybe I could ask the mayor if he knew where a zebra town was nearby once I was back from his job, the leader would know right? It was really my only chance.

Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t mind that little town, but it was off to me. It wasn’t very big, only 10 other shacks were assembled aside from Doc’s clinic, probably just homes for the ponies living there and not much else. The mayor’s house was a little larger with an extra room built on the side for town meetings, but even that was pretty small. Each of the homes seemed just big enough for a bedroom and a front room, and everyone appeared to share the one shack at the center of town for a bathroom. It was nothing compared to my old home, but it definitely had the appeal of being able to know everyone around you.

The mayor’s job sounded simple, but so had killing Charmer’s snakes. “All ya’ need to do,” Merry told us, “is go down the road and kill a few bandits hiding in the old trading post.”

Strike allowed me to borrow his extra bag and gun again, confident that I would need both when dealing with the bandits. I was grateful for the offer, and was sure it would help when I got there. The gun was definitely useful against those snakes, and if the bandits had guns, my own would be invaluable.

I told Felix he should stay behind, a fight wasn’t his place to be. He relented after a short argument about it, but didn’t seem happy to be left behind while I got shot at. Charmer suggested he could spend time with Doc until we got back, not many others did. I agreed, and told him the filly might be able to teach him a thing or two. That got a smile from him, and the colt trotted off to the clinic.

I had planned on going alone, but Charmer and Strike insisted they join me. “You need the help,” Charmer told me with a smirk. Strike agreed with a laugh, but probably decided to go because he didn’t trust me not to break his gun.

I didn’t argue with them coming along, they had saved my life with the snakes earlier, and a few extra guns wouldn’t hurt anything. That and they actually knew where Merry Scroll was telling me to find the bandits. I could probably find it myself, but it may have been due to getting shot by said bandits.

When the mayor had said ‘trading post’, I expected a small shack like what Father used to have, not a full on store. It wasn’t impressively large, but it was much bigger than Doc’s clinic. The building was torn apart on the outside, with holes punched in the concrete across the front from bullets and one corner completely missing from some kind of explosion. The largest holes had been patched poorly with planks of wood and cloth, but we were still able to see a few ponies milling around inside as we approached. No guards were stationed outside, apparently the ponies inside were very confident that nobody would try to get at them. They were wrong.

We stopped about 20 feet from the front and crouched down in a crater beside the road. “So, what’s the plan?” Strike asked me.

Why he asked me, I don’t know. I obviously had no actual combat experience, and he was the best with a gun out of our group, but he still asked for my opinion. Charmer stared at me expectantly, apparently agreeing that I should be the one with a plan. I sighed, and quickly put together a crappy plan. “Um, Strike, you have the rifle, so I guess you stay here and watch the door for any who try to run away,” I waved at him, receiving a nervous nod in return. “And Charmer,” I looked over to the mare. “You and me will go in and shoot them.”

Her face fell into the dirt, and a low groan rumbled from her. “New rule, Shayle doesn’t make plans,” she grumbled into the dirt.

“Agreed,” Strike added.

Well they told me to! It wasn’t my fault it was bad, they were the ones that looked to me for an idea!

Charmer looked back up. “Okay, Strike, you stay here and kill any that try to run away.” Hey! That was my idea! “And Shayle, you follow me and wait around the corner until I give the signal.”

“And the signal is?” I asked cautiously, not sure what she had in mind.

“Trust me, you’ll know it when ya’ hear it.” As she spoke, the mare started pulling off her armor and dropped all of her supplies beside her in the dirt. I didn’t see how her plan was any different than mine, but it looked like she had something in mind. I finally got a look at the mare’s glyph, and wasn’t surprised to find it was identical to the flute she’d played back in The Nest. Now I knew how she got that job.

Once she had completely stripped down, the mare stood and waved for me to follow. Strike shook his head and laid down on the edge of the crater, floating the rifle just beside his head and taking aim at the door. I followed Charmer’s instructions and quietly crouched around the corner from the door, craning my neck to see what the mare was up to.

After reaching the door, she ran a hoof through her soot colored mane, turned her body to show her flank off, and took up the sultriest expression she could. There was no way she was actually doing that…

After three brisk knocks on the door, a storm of sound erupted inside as guns were loaded and bottles were dropped. They were ready for a fight, and I tensed as hooves slowly approached the doorway. They were going to shoot her, this wasn’t going to work at all!

“Hey there,” she flirted when the door opened.

And then the sound of guns being placed back on the floor filled the room. By the stars…

“Hey baby, what’s a lil’ mare like you doing out here?” a rough voice asked from the door. The pony sticking his head out looked like he’d seen more than enough fights in his life. Half of his face was scarred and without coat, including one eye that looked like it didn’t work anymore, the pupil colorless and dead.

“I’m just lookin’ for some rough boys to keep me company,” she suggested, running a hoof down his chest. “Do ya’ think you might fit the ticket?”

“Oh I think we might,” the stallion replied with a goofy grin. “Why don’t you come on inside, my boys ain’t had fun in a while.”

“Ya’ know what would be more fun?” Charmer asked softly, her hoof resting just between his forelegs. “A three way.” NO!

The mare lunged forward, her hoof travelling straight between the bandit’s legs and into his…bits. Well, that was definitely the signal. I jumped around the corner as his body crumpled, the gun from Strike already loaded and ready to go between my teeth. A communal ‘owwww’ escaped the room rather than the gunfire I had expected. I saw why when I stepped into the doorway as well; the number of bottles on that floor almost rivaled my Father’s weekly intake. They were so drunk they thought that their leader being pulverized was ‘doing it rough’.

Even alcohol wasn’t enough to convince them a gun toting zebra was part of Charmer’s foreplay, and the stallions inside stumbled over one another to grab their guns again. Three shots from my pistol tore through the nearest of them before he could lift an old revolver into his jaws, and he went down much easier than the snakes. The other four got to their guns before I could take them out, and one was apparently coherent enough to flip the table over as cover. I spun back outside as a hail of bullets ripped through the open door, the blindly fired rounds peppering the collapsed buck in the doorway.

So, two down, four to go.

Charmer stood on the other side of the door, looking incredibly smug and proud of herself as she tried to pull the shotgun off of the swiss cheese body lying in the door. It didn’t look very well maintained, but it was better than the mare running in without any weapon at all. When the gunfire stopped for the bandits to all reload at the same time, Charmer charged through the door and unloaded a shot into the table, blasting a hole through the wood and ripping a scream from the unfortunate pony on the other side. The mare had to pause for a second to work the pump on the gun, and took cover behind an empty grocery shelf to the left of the bandits. I charged in close behind her, spraying bullets into the table once she was out of the way. I jumped over the table and landed on top of the still screaming pony that had been torn open by Charmer’s new shotgun.

The bandits all turned their guns to face me, and for a moment I thought I was going to die. Luckily, I wasn’t drunk, and was able to think clearly enough to run straight ahead when they pulled the triggers. One bullet bit into my back leg, the same one Strike had shot earlier in the day, but the rest buried themselves into the other bandits. Apparently they didn’t even consider that their friend was on the other side of me, and two of them sprayed each other while I barely escaped.

Five down…one to go? And we’d only shot 2 of them. Note to self: try to only fight drunk ponies.

The last pony made a dash for the door, and was rewarded with a spray of buckshot from Charmer as he left. It only peppered his rear, but it still slowed him down for the few seconds he remained alive. A loud pop from across the street, and blood painted the wall outside. Surprisingly, that was much easier than the mayor had made it sound. And for good caps too, plus the store was loaded!

I don’t know who these bandits had shaken down, but the back of the store was stocked with enough boxes and cans of food to feed my old village for a few days. There was also a rather large stock of beer and whiskey stacked artfully in the corner, but I didn’t care for that. Once me and Charmer had made sure the store was empty of any other bandits, we proceeded to fill our bags with whatever we could.

Strike carried the mare’s armor and bag in with him, hoofing it over to her. “Thanks babe.” Did Charmer just call him babe? Did I really not think they were together until now? Did she really just use sex as a lure with her buck watching?

I shook my head and tried to throw the growing list of questions away, convinced I would never get an answer for most of them. I’d gotten the ones about snakes somehow, but I didn’t even want to try and find out why Strike was okay with his marefriend strutting her stuff and seducing bandits. Granted, she did kill them after and probably had no plans of actually doing that with them, but still, did he not think about it at all? Ponies: crazy and backwards.

I filled most of my bag with boxes of Apple Bombs and a few cans of Cram before I saw little baggies of dried meats. I had only tasted such a thing once, one day when Father brought home what he called ‘bloatsprite jerky’, and it was amazing! I don’t know why mutated animals tasted so good, but they did, and now there was a full stock of them right in front of me.

Charmer jumped right in front of me and swept every last bag of dried meat into her own bag. “Mine!” she declared quickly.

“What do you mean ‘mine’? I saw them first,” I quipped, trying to pull just one pack of meat from her bag.

“You don’t eat this stuff, snakes do.” Did she just steal all of that for her snakes, after assuming I wouldn’t eat it?

“Of course I eat it, it’s delicious!” I stomped.

Charmer looked at me with a disgusted gaze, as if I’d just told her some horrifying story about spiders or something. “You…eat meat?”

“Of course, it’s food,” I informed her. “Why wouldn’t I?”

“But…you can’t do that! How would you like it if a snake ate you?”

As much as I agreed that would be terrible, especially since I almost experienced that earlier, her argument wasn’t convincing me to turn away such a delicious treat.

“Just let it go Charmer,” Strike told her softly. “You know some ponies, and zebras, eat meat. It’s just how they are.”

“B-but…”

Was she really getting offended by this whole thing? It was just a little meat, what was so horrible about it? Animals ate other animals!

Finally, she relented and pulled a pouch of meat from her bag and tossed it across the ground to my eager hooves.

It was even tastier than I remembered! The meat was seasoned with some kind of strange spice, but it added just enough kick to make it unique and pleasing to my happy belly. I only ate two of the strips, leaving two more for Felix, even though I desperately wanted to eat the rest of it myself. Maybe I could convince Charmer to part with one more pouch, whenever she actually decided to talk to me again.

She had gone most of the day without speaking to me, but she opened up a little after the snake job, and it was weird to go back to silence from her. I didn’t think it would have offended her that much that I ate meat; actually I didn’t think anyone anywhere would be offended by me eating meat. I thought it was normal, something everyone in the Wasteland did, but apparently the opposite was true. I seemed to be in the minority, those who relished the taste of wonderful meat as opposed to those who seemed to judge us for it.

So the walk back to town was a little awkward as I followed behind the pony couple silently. They whispered back and forth a bit, probably Strike still trying to calm Charmer, but it made me uncomfortable. I didn’t expect them to suddenly turn on me, but I already had little trust for ponies; a little more for those two in particular, but not enough to rule out plotting entirely.

Charmer didn’t accompany us all the way back to Merry Scroll, instead turning into her own shack when we passed it. Strike stayed with me, but probably just because he wanted his gun back. He didn’t seem as put out with me, but if Charmer was I couldn’t imagine he would be happy with me right then.

“Don’t worry ‘bout her, she’s…firm in her ideas,” the stallion told me once we were alone.

“Uh huh,” I mumbled in response.

“Really, she’ll be fine with ya’ by tomorrow,” he assured me. “Just try not to eat any meat right in front of her and she won’t mind.”

I didn’t enjoy being told what not to do, I could eat what I wanted where I wanted, who were they to tell me otherwise? Still, I didn’t feel like angering one of the few ponies who had been helping me out. “Sure, I can try,” I sighed. “Wait, how long do you think I’m going to be around here?” I asked, suddenly realizing what he had insinuated.

“I assumed you ran away to find a new home, not to wander randomly,” he told me with a cocked brow. “Are ya’ saying I’m wrong?”

“Well, no…” I agreed. “But why do you think I’d stay around here?” I was pretty sure I wanted a home at that point, but that town didn’t really scream ‘home’ for me. Maybe it was the lack of stripes on the residents.

“’Cause it’s a nice place?” he suggested.

Nice may have been a strong word if the world around us wasn’t a complete hell. But under the circumstances, yes, the town was a pretty nice place. Of course, I had only been around for one day. “Yeah, but I think we might fit in better with other zebras.”

He stopped, staring at me with a strange look. “You just ran away from the Remnant and now ya’ want to go back?”

“I didn’t run away from the Remnant,” I clarified. Had they really thought that the entire time since we’d met? “I ran away from home, there is a difference.”

“So…you are Remnant then,” he asked apprehensively, his horn starting to glow with that glittering cloud. I had a feeling there was a gun looking very similar nearby.

“I didn’t say that either,” I growled. “We lived under Remnant protection.” I hoped he’d understand that, he seemed to hate the Remnant a bit more than I thought. Did ponies really hate zebras that much? And if they did, why hadn’t he killed me by then? Ponies are confusing.

“That’s…not the same?” He sounded confused, but at least the cloud of magic went away.

“No. They gave us protection, and in return we provided supplies and help they needed.” Even Strike couldn’t misunderstand that, right?

“So, allies then?” I nodded. That was about as close a description as I could think of, and it certainly sounded right. It seemed to calm him considerably, but he still looked a bit tense around me. “Well, I’m sorry to hear ya’ won’t be stickig’ around Shanty.” Wow, the town was actually called Shanty. How... appropriate.

“We might be here a few days,” I told him. “To rest and get supplies.”

“And where are ya’ stayin’?” he asked with a strange smile.

Great! Another thing I hadn’t thought of! “Um…know of anyone with a spare room?” I asked with a pleading smile.

“Ask Doc.” He grinned. “She may just let ya’ stay for a few extra caps.”

That would work for me, especially with my new pouch of 150 shiny little disks.

Footnote: Level Up! Guns (25)

New Perk: Herpetologist - You deal an extra 50% damage when you attack mutated reptiles.

Author’s Note: Another huge thank you to Kkat for creating the Fallout Equestria universe, it’s oh so much fun to write in and I cannot thank you enough for giving me the chance to do so! And thank you to Somber for adding to that universe with Project Horizons and providing the backdrop for this story, keep up the amazing work! Additional thanks to the other side-fic writers for feeding my love of this universe and keeping it living, you are all great! Finally, thank you again to the PH RP group for getting my butt in gear to write this, and thank you to my pre-readers for making sure this isn’t terrible when I publish each chapter!