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Shadows of the Heart

by Scribblestick

Chapter 1: Calculus

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Calculus

"Mom, where did King Sombra come from?"

Flurry Heart's question wasn't meant to startle, but she still winced when Mom jumped a little and momentarily lost concentration on the levitation spell she was casting. She caught the delicate crystal statue just before it shattered on the floor. The palace was a bit more busy than usual with the Crystal Faire coming up. Ponies hurried around the castle, setting up decorations and accommodations for the expected guests. The talking and clanking rattled against Flurry's ears and made her feel dizzy.

Mom placed her statue on a nearby table and turned to face her daughter. Her pink, purple, and cream-colored mane was frazzled, but still curled elegantly around her head and body. Flurry had heard ponies call her the picture of grace under pressure, but she noticed the twitch in the corner of her eye, the flicking of her tail, and the way the tone of her voice rose ever so slightly. A part of her mind began to process what that meant. Mom walked closer and spoke in a whisper. An intense whisper. Afraid? No. Scared? No, not that either.

"Flurry, did you hear me?"

Flurry blinked. "Huh?"

Mom sighed. "I was reminding you that every question has an appropriate time and place. Remember?"

Flurry grimaced. Annoyed. Too bad hindsight only worked too late. "Right. Sorry." She noticed a few widened eyes and soft gasps around her. Apparently her quiet voice still needed some work.

Mom flashed her a smile and gave her a quick hug. "Don't let it get you down," she said, her volume and tone returning almost to normal. She led Flurry away from the bustle of the throne room. "I know all this excitement can be overwhelming, so why don't we find a quiet place?"

Flurry Heart sighed, and wings drooped a little. Mom wasn't wrong, and that fact annoyed her. "I'm fine," she said with as much cheer as she could muster. "Actually, I had a few more ideas about how to improve this year's Crystal Faire. I've spent a lot of time thinking about it," she added proudly.

"So that's why you've been up so late. I should have known you wouldn't be happy until everything was perfect," Mom said. The two entered a small side room reserved for private meetings with important visitors. Mom sat and gestured for Flurry to do the same. "Well? Let's hear what you think."

Flurry grinned and conjured a list from thin air with a flash of magic. "Let's start with the opening ceremony. Adjusting the wording to include everycreature is a nice touch, but I think we should skip the reception line. We don’t really have to say hello to every visiting dignitary, do we?"

"It is customary to greet visitors, not to mention good manners," Mom answered.

"Manners. Right…" Flurry frowned, but conjured a quill and dutifully scratched the item off her list. "Okay. What about the mingling right before the ceremony with the Crystal Heart? I bet we can cut that down."

"We could, but then the crystal ponies might not be in such high spirits," Mom replied. "That is the Faire’s purpose, after all."

"That’s a good point, but with so many visiting creatures, their added positivity should be more than enough to compensate. I’ve run the calculations," Flurry added quickly. "I can show you if you want."

Mom let out a chuckle. "You certainly have a bit of your aunt in you." She took Flurry's list in her magic and read it over.

"I tried to be as thorough as possible," Flurry said while her mother checked her list. Her heart fluttered in her chest as her mind analyzed Mom's posture and expression, struggling to keep up. "Is it okay? Anything you like?"

Mom gave her a smile, but Flurry noted the corners of her mother’s eyes didn’t crinkle like they should. "You've done everything you can to minimize interacting with other creatures,” she observed.

"T-That’s... It's not just that," Flurry stammered, much to her chagrin. "Look, right here are some ideas to improve jousting safety. And here’s a revised bracket structure for the flugelhorn competition."

"Both wonderful ideas," Mom acknowledged, "but that’s not what this is really about, is it?"

Flurry tried to hold her mother’s gaze, but her internal calculations made it difficult. Mom's smile was small, with the right amount of eye crinkle and shine. She had a slight twitch in her face. Her ears faced forward. Her wings clung loosely to her side, relaxed. Her weight was evenly distributed on all four hooves. Flurry’s mind ran these details though her complicated mental calculus, developed carefully over twenty years. It was one of the few tools she had to accomplish what seemed to come so naturally to everypony—nay, everycreature—else. It wasn't exactly reliable, though, and with Mom, the perfect diplomat who so effortlessly controlled every gesture and word, Flurry often found it impossible.

Mom wrapped Flurry in her wings before the calculations could finish. "I know you’re nervous about this. Even I get jittery before the Faire." Flurry's face twitched involuntarily. Mom's eyebrows raised near her nose, and her smile stretched sideways. More data to add to the equation. "I'm sure everything will be just fine," Mom continued. "Your father and I will be right by your side."

Flurry nodded and closed her eyes. She felt her mother's heart beating against her own, so slow and steady in comparison. She tried to let her heart follow suit, but she just couldn't do it. "I'm scared," she admitted.

Mom's embrace tightened. "Don't be afraid to talk to us, so we know how to help," she said. "Remember, understanding starts with listening."

"And understanding brings peace." Flurry finished her mother's favorite axiom. "What if I mess it up, though?" Too often, her social missteps cut short any conversation she tried to start.

Flurry felt her mom's smile, though she couldn't see it. "You won't. I believe in you. Your father and I are proud of the mare you are becoming, quirks and all."

Quirks. She tried not to show how much that euphemism stung. Her parents had tried so many, and for their sakes, she accepted quirk as the best they could do. It really was her favorite, in the same sense that King Sombra's second invasion of the Crystal Empire was the best of the three—short-lived and minimally damaging.

Flurry felt more than she saw her mother back away. "Flurry Heart," she said. Her smile was gone now. Eyes wider, eyebrows raised. Flurry's calculation spat out an answer. Worried. "One day, you'll be the ruler of the Crystal Empire. I know it seems like that time is far away, and it probably is, but..." Mom's eyes drifted down and away. "I just want to make sure you're ready. All these roles I've asked you to play for the Crystal Faire... I really think they'll help."

Flurry didn't have to wonder if Mom meant it. Mom and Dad always did their best, and succeeded so often that Flurry never doubted their love for her. But those few failures, they always came back to her... quirks. She was still the only natural-born alicorn Equestria had ever seen. Even in infancy, her magic rivaled that of the Royal Pony Sisters. And this strange process she had to follow simply to tell what another pony was feeling and thinking...

"Your majesty, you're needed in the throne room." A crystal pony approached the two. Flurry Heart was pretty sure he was somepony important, but at the moment, she couldn't place a name to the face.

"Of course." Mom nodded, and the pony walked away. She gave Flurry one more smile. "Your father should have some lines for you to practice for the Faire. Maybe those will help you feel better."

There it was again—the eye twitch, the slightly raised tone. Flurry's calculation reached its conclusion at last. Doubt. She forced a smile and nodded. "Sounds like they need your help. I'll find Dad on my own."

Mom smiled and turned away. "I'll practice with you later, if you want," she called.

"I'd like that, thanks." Flurry heard the slight strain in her own tone, and felt the way the words came out in a sigh. No doubt her mother could as well.


"Hey, Dad, where did King Sombra come from?"

"Huh?" Shining Armor's blue mane was tucked away in his helmet, but a helmet didn't hide his furrowed brow and frown. "I dunno. Around here, I guess?"

"Huh." Flurry conjured another scroll and jotted down her father's answer. The weather outside the castle was warm and sunny, perfect for the Crystal Faire. It was busier here than inside, but the open space made the noise more bearable. Ponies hung the traditional colored banners and set up stalls in the city square. A gentle breeze rustled the paper as she wrote, but she held it steady in her magic. "Any idea how old he was when he first invaded the Crystal Empire?"

"No..." Flurry heard him stepping closer. "Why the sudden interest, kid?"

"It's the anniversary of his second invasion. It's topical."

"Uh huh." Her father's hoof pushed the scroll away from her face to reveal narrowed eyes, raised eyebrows, and a half-smirk. Amusement? Is he laughing at me? "Last year, it was figuring out the mathematically perfect recipe for crystal berry pie. The year before that, it was developing the ideal flame-resistant cloth for the banners."

"I... just get a little obsessive sometimes," Flurry said. Dad raised an eyebrow. She knew that look without having to analyze it. Skepticism. "I know, it's not good to get so hyper-focused on one thing, but sometimes I can't help it."

"'Sometimes' comes right around this time an awful lot. Your mom and I have heard you staying up late, you know," Dad said. A moment passed. Dad's smirk softened. His eyebrows relaxed. Is that sympathy? Or is he giving up on me? "It's a distraction, isn't it? You're worried about the Faire."

Flurry nodded. Her parchment and quill vanished in a flash. "Mom said you had some lines for me to practice?"

Dad chuckled and retrieved his own scroll with a levitation spell. "Here. Your Mom and I came up with some common questions, and I wrote down some responses." Flurry took the scroll in her own magic. "What do you think?"

Flurry opened the scroll and began reading the questions. Q: What do you like most about the Crystal Faire? A: I like seeing the joy it brings everyone and knowing the Crystal Empire is safe for another year. It was almost true; her real favorite part was the petting zoo, but she was too old to spend all day with the tiny ewes.

Q: What do you think about (any other nation)? A: As always, maintaining friendship with others is my highest priority. I'm happy they could attend. OR I hope to see them again soon. She had to read through that question a couple times to make sure it stuck. She felt confident about her ability to remember who was in attendance, but that confidence often faltered in the face of real conversation. A familiar pressure pressed against her ribs. She shook it off. Worrying would only make things harder when the time came.

Q: What have you been studying?

Her father's written answer had something to do with changeling politics, which was true enough, and she read it over a dozen times to make sure it was firmly lodged in her brain. Revealing the other answer would be... inadvisable.

"I like these," she said quickly. "I think I'll go inside and practice them."

Dad nodded and gave her a wink—their established gesture of mutual understanding. "Once I'm done overseeing security, I'll come by and lend you a hoof." He gave her a quick hug. Flurry returned the gesture. "You can do this, kid. Don't overthink it too much."

As Flurry Heart returned to the castle, she couldn't help but let out a long, slow breath. Sometimes, it felt like overthinking was the only way she could do anything.

Next Chapter: Summons Estimated time remaining: 1 Hour, 10 Minutes
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