"Well then, now that we're all on good terms..." Discord began.

"Debatable," Flash muttered quietly.

Discord cast him a frown before continuing. "I think it's time we get down to the truly important business. Namely...little Flashy's special relationship to the princess," he finished with a wicked smirk.

Instantly, Flash's face turned a shade paler. "...Pardon?"

"ABOUT TIME. I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR HIM TO SPILL THE BEANS ABOUT THAT FOR AGES."

"There's nothing to spill!" Flash insisted.

Discord, knowing he was already under the stallion's skin, looked very pleased with himself as he snapped his fingers. The resulting magic conjured up what appeared to be a small movie screen in front of the three, and after a brief moment of some old-timey static, an image was presented. It was grainy, but the picture was clearly that of Flash, clad in his armour, standing in the middle of Canterlot on a dark and rainy night. "But...why?" the image spoke.

"Wha...what is this?!" the real Flash understandably asked.

But the others weren't listening, instead engrossed in the film, especially as the Flash within it stepped forward. "I just don't understand. Why do you wish to end what we have? Why...Princess Twilight?"

Immediately, the actual Flash covered his ears with his hooves and shut his eyes tightly. "Lalalalalalala! I'm not seeing this!"

The screen's image shifted to the left, revealing, as stated, Princess Twilight herself, or at least a facsimile of her, who shied away from the distraught guard beside her. "Oh Flash, I am so sorry. But I cannot deny the call of my heart."

"Ooh! Drama!" Discord declared with delight, snapping his fingers and bringing forth a bag of popcorn for him to enthusiastically munch on.

"You are a good stallion, Flash," the movie's Twilight continued. "But while I love you always, I cannot deny my feeling any longer." With her horn igniting, she lifted up what appeared to be some really old library book, looking to it with fondness, after which she hugged it tightly. "I have chosen to be with Book-Chan." Looking back to the other Flash, she took on a sympathetic expression. "I'm sorry...but this is the end...of us."

That Flash fell to his knees, the rain intensifying all around him as he watched Twilight and her new paramour walk away from him. In this moment of utter loneliness, he looked up to the heavens and howled in despair. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

And that, thankfully, was the end of the film, as the conjured screen vanished into thin air, leaving sheer silence in it's wake, save for Discord's aforementioned popcorn munching. After a while though, the real Flash lowered his hooves from his ears, looking to the spirit with seething irritation, prompting a shrug from the latter. "What?"

"What?! What do you mean what?!" Flash yelled, pointing his hoof at Discord.

In response, Discord rolled his eyes. "Well, somepony doesn't like talking about his love life."

Flash buried his face in his hooves. "This isn't my..." After groaning with exasperation, he looked to the king. "Sir, you don't really think what he showed you was real, do you?"

"OF COURSE NOT. WHAT DO YOU TAKE ME FOR? I'VE KNOWN DISCORD LONG ENOUGH TO KNOW ONE OF HIS TRICKS WHEN I SEE THEM."

Flash stared at him, then at the still-smirking Discord, before again looking back to Solaris. "...Then why did you humour him like that?"

"SIMPLE. ANYTHING WOULD BE BETTER THAN YOU STONEWALLING ME ABOUT WHAT'S UP BETWEEN YOU AND THE PRINCESS."

Another long sigh from the stallion. "There isn't..." He paused, rubbed his temples in a clear sign of stress, then looked to the king once more. "Okay...if I tell you, will you stop asking? Both of you?"

Discord placed one paw over his chest and raised the other. "I make no promises."

Flash narrowed his eyes, then relaxed a touch. "Okay, well...some years back, a rumour started floating around that Princess Twilight had grown close to somepony. I happened to be in the same general place as her, and the one in question had a name similar to mine...I think?" He shook his head. "Anyway, once the rumour was out I had to spend the next few months on the receiving end of every form of teasing from my fellow guards as you can manage." He frowned as he looked to the side. "How's your latest date with the princess, Flash? How's the waifu, Flash? When's the wedding, Flash? And so on and so forth." He grunted. "I've only recently managed to get ponies to stop, and I'd very much appreciate not being reminded of that time." A few seconds later, and after he looked a little bit calmer, he continued. "Princess Twilight is a fine mare, and a national hero, but she and I are not, I repeat, not a couple!"

"...BUT YOU WANTED TO BE, RIGHT?"

"What?! No! She and I have barely said a word to each other, and that was..." He paused to mouth some numbers before finally getting back to him. "Quite a few years now."

"YES...BUT SHE'S ROYALTY AND AN ALICORN. SO THAT MEANS YOU WANT TO GET TOGETHER WITH HER, CORRECT?" After Solaris failed to get anything other than a silent stare from him for a solid minute, he continued. "EVERYPONY KNOWS THAT ALICORN ROYALTY ARE THE MOST DESIRABLE TYPES OF PONY AROUND. TWILIGHT SHOULD BE GETTING SO MUCH ATTENTION THAT SHE WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH IT. SO COME ON, SONNY, WHAT'S YOUR EXCUSE FOR NOT GETTING IN ON THAT?"

Slowly, Flash again facehoofed himself, keeping his eyes shut as he again spoke, albeit in a tone with barely-restrained tiredness. "Sir, with all due respect, somepony else being an alicorn doesn't mean I'm going to just drop what I'm doing to go and start a relationship with them. Nor does it mean I'm going to see them as the absolute pinnacle of somepony I might want to spend my life with."

"...I DON'T FOLLOW."

Before Flash could get another word in, he was stopped when Discord gently placed a paw upon his shoulder. "Don't bother, kid. His own daughters tried for centuries to get him to stop thinking of alicorns as better than everycreature else. So don't expect to do so today."

After a while, Flash sighed again. "Okay...starting to see why they haven't been back down here again since waking him up."

"WHAT WAS THAT?"

"Nothing, Sir."

You all knew I'd have to do something like this eventually