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If Solaris had a Text-to-Speech-Device

by Jay David

Chapter 6: Fabulous

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Fabulous

Carrying a tray of tea on one's back without spilling a single drop was usually a delicate task for anypony, especially for one who had to walk along old and cobbled hallways. But for Flash, he seemed perfectly fine bringing the requested beverages back to the chamber he'd been posted to. And in all honesty he just looked content with not having to deal with the likely ruckus that Solaris and the newly-arrived Discord had been stirring up between them while he was gone. So, after reaching about the halfway point between the kitchens and the chamber, he glanced over his shoulder to take inventory. "Ok, milk and blasphemous amounts of sugar for Discord, total black for King Solaris and one milky tea with a side-order of aspirin for me." He nodded to himself before resuming his walk. But, after taking a mere few steps forward, he paused again, sniffing the air with a look of confusion about him. "Is...is that... mane-oil?" Then, his confusion disappeared, replaced instead with a look of exasperation as he let out a long sigh. "Oh...no."

Turning around, he watched as he saw his gut instincts proved correct. For there, suddenly appearing into view, was a trio of stallions who leapt onto the scene in a manner so utterly flamboyant that Flash could've sworn he heard some kind of weird chorus heralding their arrival, complete with a bright sparkle of light all around them to emphasise the point. Though Flash said nothing, his face gave away his dismay at their being there, and the first of the stallions, a unicorn, stepped forward with a look of likely undeserved self-importance. "Ah, Mr Sentry, what a pleasure to come across you here."

Taking a deep breath, Flash assumed his more professional stance and tone as he responded to both him and the other two. "Guardsman Blueblood, Guardsman Zephyr, Guardsman Trenderhoof. What...joy to see you too," he said through gritted teeth.

The second of the two stepped forward to join the first, looking fairly pleased with himself. "I know, it's great, right? Who'd have ever guessed I'd be let back in after that whole crown debacle?" Zephyr remarked.

"Not me, that's for sure," Flash muttered under his breath.

The last of them joined the other two. "I tell you, my fans are just gonna love the scoop they'll get from me after this! A genuine, insider experience of the Royal Guard. That kind of thing is very in right now," Trenderhoof commented.

"Especially if you don't go with the traditional uniforms, it would seem," Flash countered, looking over his fellow guards.

Trenderhoof looked especially proud of that one. "Oh yes, I felt that gold was a bit old-fashioned. In need of updating, you know? New colours, new materials, that sort of thing. You wouldn't believe how much black leather draws ponies' attention," he explained, making sure to pose so that said leather was in full view.

"I would definitely believe it," Flash answered, trying his best not to look at the more exposed areas the three's new uniforms had.

"In any case," Blueblood began, walking further to the more experienced guard. "We haven't been seeing much of you in the rest of the castle lately, Sir."

Flash arched an eyebrow. "Well, nice to know one of you remembers I'm your commanding officer." He looked over his shoulder. "To answer your curiosity, I've been assigned as the personal guard of Solaris. Former king of Equestria and Princess Celestia and Luna's father."

Naturally, such a juicy tidbit of information had the expected result of all three of them, as unprofessional as they may have been, being taken aback, looking beyond Flash to the great doors at the end of the vast hallway. "Wait, really? That dude's still alive?" Zephyr asked, astonished.

"...Define...alive," Flash wondered aloud.

Blueblood, transfixed by the sight of the chamber door, took a step or two past Flash to get slightly closer to it, much to the latter's chagrin. After a moment of silence where he merely tapped his chin, the prince glanced back to his superior and smirked. "Pardon me for saying so, Lieutenant, but mayhaps the great king would be more comfortable having a member of the nobility serving as his aide? Royalty alongside royalty and all that?"

Flash frowned. "Need I remind you, Private, that your position within the Guard was solely due to your Aunt's intervention? Since you apparently couldn't get any kind of job otherwise?"

Blueblood shrugged. "Well, now that I'm here it behoves me to try and achieve a position befitting my station."

"Your station is where you've already been assigned. And speaking of which, that is where you should all be right now, not down here and suggesting intrusion into the king's chambers," Flash explained, and not without undue frustration in his voice.

Another shrug from the alabaster stallion, who made his way back to his comrades, opening the floor for Trenderhoof to add his voice to the matter. "Is it alright if I go in and get a photo or two? The readers of my newsletters would send me asks by the bucketload if I got them an exclusive with somepony this important."

Flash, as one might expect, had just about had it by this point, and after taking a moment to keep his tempter in check, addressed them in the commanding tone expected of one of his rank. "That would be a no, Guardsman. In fact, I must give you an ask of my own. That you all return to the main entrance of the palace. Doubtless Princess Twilight will be wondering why you're not at your posts, especially since she intervened on your behalf in particular to remain within our number, Zephyr."

The stallion in question scratched the back of his head nervously. "Yeah...good point. Don't want my sister getting on my case about that."

Blueblood sighed. "Very well, Sir. We'll return if we must." He gestured to the other two, who promptly began walking in the other direction. But, as he too began to leave, Blueblood cast one final smirk back to his commander. "Oh, and thank you for the tea. It was delicious."

His eyes widening, Flash glanced to his back, wherein he saw that the teacups were indeed empty. How they'd managed to pull that off he didn't know, only that this whole encounter had left him tired and irritated. So, after letting out a long groan, he turned and started making his way back where he came. "Okay, back to the kitchens then...and note to self, double the aspirin this time."


Author's Note

Well, for those wondering if we'd get a certain trio of bothersome underlings, here you go :raritywink:

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