Proof reader/Editor: Biker_Dash

Pinkie Pie knew that many considered her weird. She knew that she herself was weird in some instances. She took pride in it, being able to perceive the world in whole new level. She never revealed her tricks. She also enjoyed seeing other smiling, especially is she was the cause of their smiles.

So it was weird for her to be there, standing in middle of her room, watching as ponies she knew sadly looking through her possessions. It was weird for her to look their sad faces, to hear them tell her stories she knew already, as if she didn’t. She wore the disguise, of course, like they had agreed back then. She didn’t dare to reveal herself, not now. It would not be happy or funny thing to do. It would be cruel.

Perhaps hardest part had been Pumpkin suddenly asking her mother where Pinkie was. Seeing Mrs. Cake just hug her son with tears in her eyes had been... disturbing. She personally never knew that Cakes had cared that deeply.

It was weird, watching how others reacted or would react to her death. It was something she had never expected to see. Her parents, or more specifically, this worlds Pinkies parents, were talking with Cakes, asking about her last days. Mentioning how she had come here, started to live with her. There were few rather awkward questions directed towards her. Apparently the Cakes had somehow, though they never said so directly, implied that she was Pinkies lover.

Eventually, she could not take it anymore.

“Excuse, I think nature is calling,” She said, rising up.

“It’s okay dear. Toilet is right that way. Though I think you knew that already,” Mrs. Cake answered.

Pinkie nodded and walked towards the hallway, but instead of visiting the toilet she walked outside. She took a deep breath and sat down.

“What is wrong with this world?”

“Feeling down?” Celestia turned to see ambassador Fahrenheit behind her. She had returned to Canterlot and had been thinking in the garden. She had not even noticed the human walking up to her.

“Yes. It’s funny. You always think you have seen enough friends and families pass away that you no longer feel the pain. The moment you think you have grown immune to the pain, it sneaks up on you.”

“I guess that’s one downside of immortality,” Fahrenheit said, sitting on a bench. “You are immortal, right?”

“Funny thing is, I am not sure. I used to be a filly. I have been growing, in both body, mind and power. However, I am not sure if I merely have extremely long lifespan or I am truly immortal. It’s one of those questions you never know answer until the end comes.” A silence fell between two. They sat there for for some time until Fahrenheit decided to ask her something.

“So... you two were close?”

“Not in sense. I knew her mainly through my student, but... she was a kind of person that sticks to your mind. There is only one of her kind every hundred years.”

“I see... Sorry about lack of response from our end, but... well, they are tightening the hold over the embassy. I had to request permission first.”

“I see. Even when we are dealing with a powerful enemy, your leaders are worried about us?”

“About everyone. Something is going on there. I do not know what. I get less and less information each day. More paperwork to be filled. Saral is worried about something. I fear the command is about to do something very stupid. I wish I knew. I think they are scared. First the Lunar Crisis and now this. We still do not have sufficient stockpiles. Cultivating the new farmland has been slower than we had hoped, though better than we expected.”

“I’ll never learn to understand your kind,” Celestia said, shaking her head. Fahrenheit simply shrugged.

“We are not logical species. Well, we like to think we are, but we act a lot on our emotions.”

“I know. It’s still different kind of response from us. Out of interest... what do your kind believe about death?”

“Hm? Well, it’s complicated. There are a lot of believes. Two most commons are that after you die, your consciousness disappears. You cease to exist. The end. Oblivion.”

“That does not sound very... tempting.”

“It’s a believe of those who reject deities. Well, so called ‘unseen deities’. It’s kind of hard to argue against the existence of magic and gods when you and Luna exist. Still, they reject the old ‘Omnipotent, Omniscient Invisible God’ type. It’s very common.”

“I see. What about the other belief?”

“Well, it’s goes that if you did well in your life, you get to be released and you will be taken to the paradise. Or if you fail, but you did not do evil things, you get to try again. You are reincarnated.”

“What if you do evil things?”

“Punishment. Constant suffering. If you repent enough, you get to be reincarnated. If you don’t repent... well, let’s just say the description makes you hope for oblivion.”

“Sounds... nasty.”

“That’s one way to put it. From what I’ve heard, if she had been human, she would be in Paradise right now. Setting up massive welcoming party.”

“She would,” Celestia said with a smile. “Well, I guess that is enough grief for today. Even if I will miss her, I can’t ignore reality. There are millions of ponies and they all look upon us for guidance. I appreciate our talk.”

“No worries, Princess. We all just have to keep on living, as not to tarnish the sacrifice of the dead.”

“Darn it.” Applejack raised her head as she heard her double curse. Her double had been very quiet until now, trying to fix some old cloth. Something she didn’t see herself doing.

“Ah can’t concentrate and Ah need this thing fixed by tomorrow.” Her double said, before throwing the thread and needle to the table.

“Ya wanna talk about it?”

“There ain’t really much to talk. She died. Ain’t the first one who Ah know.”

“Yeah, but she was also a good friend.”

“Yeah. She was. Ah just can’t accept she’s dead. Ah would have thought she would outlive us all.” Applejack’s double gave a quick thought before adding. “Well, maybe apart from the Princesses and Spike,” She sighed. “I guess Ah should be used to this already. Ah have buried half of mah family tree by now. Whole Orange branch is gone and family in the south, those that remained, are barely holding up.”

“Can Ah help ya anyway?”

“Ya helping me a lot already. Ah can’t hire help often and since Big Mac only now woke up, Ah been running this farm alone with Applebloom. She should not need to work like grown up, not yet. Ah would expect her to have some weird crush on Spike right now, not callouses. I dunno why, but I just think so.”

“What’s with Spike and Rarity, by the way? Ah know he has a crush, but Ah never expected them to become an item,” Applejack asked, raising her eyebrow. It had been one of the... weirder things this universe had.

“Not much to talk, both realized life is too short to never act. Spike grew a pair to ask Rarity to date him and Rarity gave up her pride and accepted. Even if they are different species, Ah am happy for them. They both are happy and know what will happen.”

“Spike will probably outlive her, by few centuries.”

“They both know it. Spike said once he does not want to second guess what would have happened if he never asked her. She says that she learned that life is too predictable to not to try when there is a chance to be happy.”

“Ah see...”

“So... Since we went from remembering our dead friend to love life of others, ya got someone?” Applejacks double asked with a grin. Applejack fell from her chair at the question.

“What!? No. Ah don’t need some stallion doing work for me.”

“Hah! Ya should try. They ain’t that bad, at least some of them.”

“So, ya got one?”

“Had, Ah think. He was a soldier, yet polite and sensitive. Kinda cute too. Farmer back when he was civilian.” Her face suddenly had a shadow over it. Applejack guessed what had happened. “Then, Los Pegasus happened. He was part of the group sent to take it back. His group was surrounded when humans got their reinforcements. They found his body later in one of the mass graves.”

“Ah am... sorry to hear that.”

“It was to be expected. We were at war, sugar. Everypony has someone they lost during it.”

“Ah see...”

“So, ya got your eyes on anyone? Oh! Perhaps that handsome stallion in Manehattan? You still got Manehattan, right?”

“No no no...”

“Oh, don’t try to fool me, girl. Ah am you, remember?”

“Look, we don’t even know each other that well beyond the business...”

“Lemme give ya hint: Don’t wait. You’ll regret it.” Her double picked the needle and thread again and started sewing. “Thanks for talking with me. Ah feel much better now.” Applejack remained silent, going over what her double had just said. Guess she would need to rethink her life once they concluded their business here.

“See you tomorrow Twilight.” Rarity said as Twilight departed. “Don’t worry, Spike will be just fine.” Rarity leaned slightly forward, as if to gossip. “This isn’t first time he spends night here. It’s... kinda adorable in it’s own way.”

“Oh, don’t tell me you plan to do something with Spike once we get back?” Twilight said with amused glint in her eyes.

“Nope, but I guess I can be little bit more nice with him. Poor guy deserves some slack.”

“Alright, if you say so. See you tomorrow.” Twilight said and left.

They had spend the evening talking and remembering Pinkie Pie, or had until the other Pinkie Pie had appeared, saying she didn’t want to spend the night alone. They had concluded that having Pinkie Pie stay at the library would not be good for mental health of local Twilight, so Pinkie was staying in the Carousel Boutique.

It was weird seeing Pinkie deflated like that. It was not that she was depressed or losing her mind, it was more that she was lacking in energy she normally had. She was drinking tea Sweetie Belle had made for them. It had been a surprise to Rarity that Sweetie Belle had learned to cook, even if her cooking skills only extended to “warm up the water” before the kitchen would be destroyed.

“I just... I could not take it. I can’t explain it. It was... wrong. It was all wrong.”

“I know it, darling. Nobody should be in situation like that.”

“What am I supposed to do now? Stay there? Pretend something? I don’t know!”

“Calm down, Pinkie, you are kind of starting to freak us out here. This is so not like you.” Rarity heard Spike say as she returned to the living room.

“It isn’t, is it? How am I know how to deal with this? Nobody told about anything like this. I don’t know what to do. My first instinct was to play a prank on them or throw a party but that would be wrong and-”

“Breathe,” Rarity said. Rarity was noticed that Pinkies speech had gotten faster during her little breakdown. She knew Pinkie was weird in her own way and she could have issues sometimes, but she had never seen her this shaken. Then again, could she blame her? “It’s okay.” Pinkie took few deep breaths before continuing.

“Okay, so maybe I am little overreacting.”

“You don’t say?” Sweetie Belle chimed, not raising her head from the book she was reading.

“Don’t try now, Sweetie.” Blinded Rarity said, turning her head into Sweeties general direction.

“Okay, now I have to ask: How do you do that?” Pinkie Pie asked, pointing rather pointlessly at her.

“Do what?”

“Act like you still had your eyesight. You’re not pulling some big prank, are you?” Pinkie accused her. Rarity herself gave questioning look on her double, before remembering that such gesture was (supposedly) useless. Her double just gave a small giggle.

“Oh my, I have been found out!” She raised her hoof to silence Pinkie before she could say anything. “No, I am blind. However, this isn’t my first day being blind. Experience has taught me well. Besides, I have Sweetie and Spike helping me around. It was... a mess during the first days.”

“You broke down crying because you could not tell how your dress was.” Spike said, sitting next to her marefriend. Rarity couldn’t help but note that this Spike had grown quite differently from theirs. While their Spike was still quite a babyface, this Spike seemed more muscular and, for lack of better term, mature. She remembered Twilight speaking that conditions upon which dragons grew affected their body, but seeing so big difference was another thing. Her double was really missing a lot.

“Don’t remind me of that. Thankfully, we finally found some talent for Sweetie..”

“Oh?” Pinkie and Rarity said, interested.

“She can design very well. Just don’t let her anywhere near the needles.”

“Hump” Sweetie said, pouting. “It’s not my fault they are made all wrong.” Others just chuckled at her, making her pout even more.

“Anyway, it takes some time and practice. Of course, I can’t do so many orders anymore, since every dress takes two to three times more time to work on, even with the help. Oh, and everything needs to be written in braille now. Makes things slightly difficult when someone forgets to do so.” Blind Rarity said turning her head towards Sweetie Belle, though missing her mark slightly. “Anyway, we should prepare a room for you, dear. I can’t have you sleeping on a couch!”

“I think I am going to sleep now...” Scootaloo said, giving a big yawn before standing up.

“Good night Scoots.” Rainbow Dash shouted after her.

“Night.” “Night” Came two replies from two Fluttershys in the room. Scootaloo just waved her hoof to them and walked to bedroom.

“How is she taking this all?” The other Fluttershy asked, looking after Scootaloo as she disappeared out of their vision.

“Relatively good. On surface, she’s a strong kid. Then again, at night...” Dash shook her head. “Half of the time she cries for her parents. Other half she cries for my double. She never cried until now.”

“Oh my, um... have you tried comforting her?”

“How? I don’t know how to deal with stuff like this!” Dash said, throwing her hooves into the air. “I could handle when she lived her parents. I could deal with that. I could be cool big sis. Now? I got no idea. I have no idea how to be a parent. Especially when I am not the one who raised her!” A thought hit her. “What if I ever have kids!?”

Rainbow Dash felt someones hoof on her shoulder and lowered her gaze enough to see that crippled Fluttershy had walked over to her.

“Don’t worry. Our Dash had similar problems.” She said, moving back to her seat. “She kept going and didn’t give up. Sure, mistakes were made, arguments were had. In the end... she did it. She managed to raise a good little pony. You don’t suddenly know how to do it. You learn as you try.” There was a hint of a smile on her face.

“Were you helping her? During that time?” Fluttershy asked her double. Her double blinked and before nodding, gaining slight blush on her cheeks.

“Um... yes. I helped her around, I had some experience with all the animals, of course, Scootaloo is not an animal.” She said, not really looking up. Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash exchanged looks, wondering what could cause such reaction. “So, um, I helped her around when he needed to work and could not be there and stuff. She never really missed a day with Scootaloo, but sometimes some emergency would call her to some other part of Kingdom.”

“Oh.” Fluttershy said. “I hope she gets better soon.”

“Oh, she should. They left a message in these new... what they called them... um... coms? They left a message she had woken up earlier today. Though... there are apparently some problems...” Other Fluttershy said, her voice barely audible as if to not to let Scootaloo know.

“Did you tell to Scootaloo yet?” Dash asked, her voice equally low.

“No. I don’t want to burden her. If she has nightmares again, adding more fears to her mind won’t do any good. She is a strong one, but it’s a mask she puts in front of others. She does fear. She lost her family once. She fears it might happen again.”

Rainbow Dash seemed to think for a moment, going over what she was just told. She took a quick look at Scootaloo’s room before adopting determine face.

“Right, then we just need to finish this thing before we lose anyone else. Right?” She said, giving two Fluttershys a look that didn’t allow any disagreement.

“Right.” Came the answer from two pegasi.

“What. In. Tartarus.” Twilight said, having opened the door to the library. Inside, she saw that the table was filled with all kinds of bottles and her double and Trixie were in process of creating a very unstable tower out of them.

“Sssh, do dishturb us!” Her double answered, “Thish tower of truth needsh deci... delik... de... good concentration!”

“Yeah! It will reveal us the truth!” Trixie said, handing a new bottle to Twilgiht who she was levitating rather erratically.

“Truth of what?” Twilight asked, trying to understand the situation.

“Whenever gravity is jusht a shtory!” Came the answer. Right after that, the tower collapsed, with bottles falling everywhere. “Oh pooh!”

“Are you... drunk?”

“I’m not!” Her double said. “I am absholutely poshitively totally blashted!” She answered in way too cheery voice. “You shee, Pinkie would not want me to be shad sho I decided to become happy!”

“By... getting drunk?”

“You should try it! It works!” Trixie said, lifting one of the few bottles that still had something inside them.

“Gimme that!” Two drunken ponies clashed and sprawled on the floor, fighting for the bottle. Twilight could not help but stare at the scene in front of her. Sure, she had thought about drinking time or twice, but she had never expected anything like this. She tried to count to ten, but her patience run out at the moment her double had grabbed one of the books and used it as an improvised weapon.

“ENOUGH!” She shouted, making two mares look up. “Enough with the alcohol. Give me that!” She said before snatching the bottle away, causing the two mares to grumble. She gathered rest of the bottles and carried them to the kitchen sink. “You two had enough for one night. Seriously, what is wrong with you?” She started to pour down the content of the bottles while her double and Trixie slowly stood up, clearly having troubles.

“What do you care?” She heard her double say, followed by a thump of a pony sitting rather ungracefully on a couch. Twilight finished emptying the bottles and returned to the main room.

“What do I care? You are supposed to be me! Yet here you act, like some sort of drunk teenager. What would our pa-” That was as far as she got before she was slammed into the wall. She wondered for a moment when her double had gotten so strong, but those thoughts were quickly silenced by sudden need for air. Air that was denied by a force crushing down on her throat.

“And what are you? You come here, acting sho high and mighty...” She heard her double say. She looked and confirmed that yes, her horn was glowing. She had a scary, yet depressed expression on her face. “Standing there, telling how happy things are, taking things for granted...” She felt the pressure around her throat to increase. “And now you dare to start criticising ME?” Her double shouted. Trixie was clearly shocked at the display her normally reserved friend was putting up.

“Did you shee your home half burned!?” Twilight felt herself lifted before being slammed against the wall.

“Did you shee your friend die in front of you!?” Again.

“Did you shee your family die!?” Again. She idly noticed that her double had tears in her eyes.

“Did you shee thoushandsh of ponies, shuffering yet unable to help them!?” Again she was slammed against the fall. Her doubles voice was starting to crack.

“Did you... did you...” Twilight dropped down to the ground as the magic that had held her disappeared. Her double fell to the ground, sobbing. Trixie was right next to her in few seconds. “I missh them... I missh them sho much...”

“Sshh... it’s okay... it’s okay... calm down...”

“I was jusht so angry... angry and jealoush...”

“I know... I know... I know what it feels like...” Trixie muttered before turning back to Twilight. “Might be better if you sleep somewhere else this night.”

“Yeah... I guess...” Twilight said weakly. She was still trying to catch her breath. She was also keeping her magic ready incase her double had another burst. “I’ll... I’ll go to Applejack. Yeah.”

“Okay. Good,” Trixie said while trying to guide sobbing Twilight back to the couch. “Hey, gather yourself slightly, I get us something else. Water is okay?” Twilight didn’t hear what her double said, but she guessed she has said yes, seeing how Trixie stood up. Twilight started to walk to the door, but Trixie catched her before she manage to leave.

“Sorry about this... I thought I might be able to cheer her up, but...” Trixie sighed “WTSD is not something we can deal easily.”

“WTSD?” Twilight asked, her voice still hoarse.

“WarTime Stress Disorder. A lot of people have it. Including me. I got help, but she... she prefers to pretend there is no problem. That she is OK. Trying to be strong and... well... you were at the receiving end today. I’ll talk to her and take care of her today. You two can talk tomorrow, if you both wish.”

“Okay... you’re sure you can take care of her?” Twilight asked. She was not keen on staying at the same place as her double, but she also remembered the way Trixie had been acting earlier.

“I’m okay. I can hold my liquor better than she, but she was having fun so I played along.” Trixie gave a smirk at her. “This isn't my first time getting drunk. I got plenty of exercise. Anyway, good night.”

“Night.”

Author's Notes:

So.I am back.

I got no excuses beyond weird writers block that hit me after Christmas.