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I have Zero Attack Power, Yet I Must Fight

by Jest

Chapter 7: My Guilty Mind

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My Guilty Mind

This update brought to you by... noone! I just wanted to thank you all for keeping this story at the top of featured for a whole dang week!

Expect more soon ;)


My Guilty Mind

As that single muttered word reverberated about the grove, I felt a sudden wave of… something hit me right in the face. Or at least it felt like it was hitting me in the face, as nothing had physically impacted my body. Rather it had slammed into my mind like an out of control wrecking ball, ruining my thoughts and sending me spiralling.

I suddenly knew how to dance as a four legged creature, my equine servant unconsciously doing a swingy jig. Its hooves tip tapped as it leapt back and forth, as if joined by a whole host of others all doing the same actions only mirrored. Then something shifted, and I knew how to knit a scarf as well as weave a bowl using only my hooves.

My zombie foal plunked down on the ground and began to go through the motions of creating a hat from a ball of wool. That urge didn't last long, and when it faded I felt possessed to look around, inspecting my surroundings closer. Only this time the trees were not simple masses of green and brown, but just looking at them made a name pop up in the back of my head.

I knew that eating the roots of that particularly ugly little bush would cure gum rot. Boiling the leaves of the tree to my immediate right would alleviate a headache. If left out in the sun for a month, the moss growing near the rock wall could serve as a sturdy cape. All that information and more surged into my mind with the force of a runaway train.

By then nearly all of my undead servants had either fallen inert, or were currently twitching on the ground. All save for the floating head, whose glowing golden eyes seemed to be boring into my trunk.

I tried to stop, or at least slow the tidal wave of information but it was like fighting a storm by blowing in its general direction. More info came, despite my protests, forcing me to know how to properly grow a mossvine tent, as well as how to build a cabin. I knew how to make pottery, how to treat the sick, the warning signs of various illnesses and the location of many herbs.

I knew how to create potions of strength and aid using things found in the local environment. I knew what the stars in the sky were called, were to find them, and what dark portents their placement foretold. I knew to fear the early waning of the sun, and the lingering presence of the moon after dawn.

I knew what animals called this forest home, as well as how best to acquire their aid if necessary. Images of monstrous creatures came to mind a moment later along with their strengths and weaknesses. I knew the signs of a recent cragadile passing, and how best to spot the coming arrival of an ursa major.

If or when these beasts bedded down for the winter was known to me, as well as how best to caox them to sleep. I knew what to do should a cockatrice lock eyes with me, and I knew how to treat the partial petrification that may occur because of that meeting. I understood how to make a mean beetroot stew, and how to make even lichen grass soup taste at least somewhat palatable.

Other more mundane information continued to pour into me, but it wasn't nearly as interesting as the fact that I knew magic. I wasn't sure how, but I innately understood what ritual would be required to purify a large body of water. I knew how to conjure a rain cloud, and bring forth a storm, as well as how to urge a weak plant to grow strong once more.

Each one of these rituals required preparation, sometimes weeks of it, but in the end the result, I knew, would be worth it. Like how I could summon an elemental spirit to my aid, though it would only do so temporarily, and would demand compensation based on the task given it. There were other rituals, though they all seemed to be around that same theme of empowering, or using nature to do something.

Unthinking creatures don't know how to use magic, nevermind this kind of ritual magic. I realized, to my dawning horror. Nor do they cook, clean, or maintain such complex dwellings.

The yawning abyss of dread only opened wider when I realized that not only did I know how to orchestrate rituals but I could also speak.

“The words I speak are of a foreign tongue,” I muttered through the mouth of the deer head.

The words sounded almost like elvish, or at least the basdardized version that my friend had done for a dungeons and dragons campaign. He claimed that he was an expert in some version of elvish as created by J.R.R Tolkein, but I didn't know if that was true. What I did know was that they were startlingly similar, though this version was even more elegant, and flowing.

It was as if each word was sung, rather than spoken and I knew it all.

“Animals don't have language,” I muttered to myself in this new, foriegn tongue.

Dropping the deer skull to the forest floor I stood there quietly, each one of my servants merely resting on the ground. Some part of me wanted to get back to work, to find if my territory had grown, or what other changes had occurred. Yet I could only sit there, staring up at the sky and wondering what I had just done.

I killed and ate some poor creature in a rather awful manner. I reminded myself.

I tried to reason that I couldn't have known, but the warning signs were all there. The decorations in its antlers, the sash that had been around its neck and was now likely lying on the ground somewhere. I felt the urge to locate the flowers that had been bound around its antlers, but quickly realized that they had been destroyed during my retreat.

Its golden sash, though, that at least had a chance of still being in one peice, so I set out to confirm that. I knew I was avoiding my guilt, but I’d feel at least a little better knowing that I hadn't destroyed that as well. Sure enough within a few minutes some of my beetle scouts had found the thing stuck in a tree branch somewhere nearby.

Retrieving it took even less time, and soon my hooved servant held the finely made scarf in her forelimbs. It was soft, immensely so, and not only that but I had the feeling that it was tough, not only because it was undamaged. There was also a faint shimmer visible when it was viewed from a certain angle, and I knew the instant I saw it that it was an enchantment.

A rare spell cast not by deer, but rather a unicorn, though that was where my newly acquired knowledge ended. It was a sobering thought, and one that I ruminated on for several minutes before finally letting it go. I needed to focus on something, anything other then the fact that I had recently murdered an innocent, sentient creature.

No, wait. What did that pedant on the internet say? Sentience was the possibility of feeling and experiencing things while sapience was the higher cognitive function that intelligent creatures possess? It felt correct, but then again I had also felt correct when I called it sentience earlier. It doesn't matter. What does matter is that not only was the deer smart, but the foal had likely been as well at one point.

I gazed down through the eyes of the deer head, and inspected the zombified horse standing before it. When I focused closely on it I recalled that not only was it intelligent when it was alive, but it was also called a thestral. Thinking harder on that subject, I was able to recall that they were one of the cursed tribes of ponies that had been created during the sister’s thousand year war.

Other than that I recalled that they were good fliers, had excellent night vision and great hearing. They were also supposedly quite dexterous, and could eat meat unlike the majority of the pony tribes. Their closest cousins were pegasi, which the thestrals were created to imitate though they were also closely tied with kirin, and the crystal ponies.

I knew that the kirin were supposedly an attempt to create a superior version of the unicorn by embuing them with a hint of dragon blood. Unlike the thestrals who were gifted the essence of the night itself, these enhanced unicorns were wild and incredibly strong. Their creation was much different from their crystal pony allies who had been bred from a small clan of isolated earth ponies who ate rocks for nutrition. Using magic, the dark mother had enhanced their latent abilities to the point that their bodies had become what they ate.

That was all the information I knew, though I could also recall a scattering of rumours.

Such as thestrals being part vampire, and could enter a frenzy if they imbibed the blood of their fallen foes. The kirin supposedly lacked any empathy and were prone to fits of incredible berserker rage where they tore apart friend or foe alike. Strangest still were stories heard of crystal ponies being so alien that they struggled to integrate with others not of their kind.

I couldn't recall where I had heard these things, or where my victim had, but it felt like a semi reliable source.

Truth lies at the crossroads of myth and legend. I mused to myself.

Either way I put away such thoughts for the moment and focused on the fact that although I had their skills I didn't have their memories. I couldn't recall their name, though I did know the naming conventions of several different deer clans. I didn't know what they were like, or what gender they had been, though I knew a lot about the roles the three genders had.

Wait, three? I thought to myself, only to ignore that for that moment. I have bigger things to worry about, like where the rest of this person’s family is.

I tried to recall the location of their village, or camp but I came up with nothing save for vague impressions. From it I was able to gather that the deer had likely been looking for something but had been driven off course. From there it had likely gotten lost, as its knowledge of the immediate area was minimal at best.

I suppose it's a good thing that I don't have to worry about a whole host of angry magical deer kicking down my metaphorical door. I remarked to myself. Though they will come, and I have a feeling they will find me sooner or later. When that time comes I will have to have some manner of reparations prepared.

I struggled to imagine what that may mean in this context, and swiftly abandoned the thought entirely. There were simply too many variables and in the end I couldn't see the future no matter how hard I tried. So I instead focused on my present, namely by figuring out the difference between the foal and the deer.

I had raised them both using my innate magic, though bringing back the deer had been a reaction, while returning the pony to unlife had been deliberate.

Maybe I need to consume them in order to gain their skills. I thought. Well, might as well test that out.

I urged the zombified child over to my exposed roots, and tried to consume it but stopped myself almost immediately. Its flesh hadn't even begun to melt yet I already felt the urge to projectile vomit while convulsing in disgust. To say the act was repugnant would be to denigrate the word vile to the point that it was utterly useless.

Swiftly removing the foal from my presence I immediately ended all thoughts of experimenting on that front. It was clear that doing so would be bad for me, not only that but I sensed that attempting to eat something so heavily decayed would be deadly for me. Whatever process allowed me to bring back a creature from a distance had evidently sapped it of its possible nutrition.

No matter. I thought to myself. How many skills and abilities would this young thing even have anyway?

I wanted to sigh, as I realized that it would at least know a language, which would in turn allow me to speak to others of its kind. I hoped that they knew enough of whatever elven inspired deer language I currently knew in order to communicate with me.

I really wanted to sigh at that moment, and mimicking the action through the zombie child didn't help matters. I still felt morose, and guilty, a set of feelings I was becoming increasingly familiar with the longer I ruminated on my situation. That was until I forced my thoughts elsewhere, namely to make up for my shortcomings and ensuring they didn't happen again.

To that end I made sure to scan my knowledge of local wildlife, and other species. Thankfully none of the animals I had killed were sapient, nor were there many other smart critters out there. Save for maybe more ponies, diamond dogs, a big six eyed toad, or a wandering dragon, though that last one was unlikely for several reasons.

I couldn't recall anything concrete on that last detail, though I did know that was likely due to a war of some kind. One that the deer avoided involving themselves in, or at least this group did as I knew very little of this event. This was a bit harder to discern given that I, again, did not have their memories, only their skills and a notable bit of information.

Given the only thing I knew was that two sisters had been fighting for a very long, it was safe to assume that this deer had not been involved. Though the odd bunch of rumours, and random bits of info seemed to indicate interactions with traders, or perhaps travelers of some kind. Either way I wasn't going to figure out anything more on this subject just sitting around so I ordered everyone to get moving.

Number one on my todo list. Check the new range of my abilities, as I can sense they’ve expanded. Number two is to hunt some more, as I am no longer as full as I had been a few minutes ago. I stopped there, and really contemplated that last bit of info.

“Now why was that?” muttered the deer skull.

Next Chapter: My Many Experiments Estimated time remaining: 4 Hours, 40 Minutes
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I have Zero Attack Power, Yet I Must Fight

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