Formerly a Melancholic Wretch, Now I've become a Pony Addict?

by Some sort of Pony

First published 30th of September, 2021

A strange new drug consumes the life of a university student and his roommate

A broken student finds solace within a drug which doesn't belong in this world. How much of himself will be lost as he delves deeper into a pony fueled delirium? Will those who recognize his self destructive spiral be able to pull him away, or will they too be swallowed up by the leviathan of his fate?

A bad fic for bad people, there is no reason to subject yourself to this <3

False Start

Oliver stepped out from the front door to his residence and pressed his bare feet into the powder snow that blanketed the ground. He ignored the slight pain of the cold and dreamily ambled across the front lawn towards the road. The cool air of the night felt welcoming, and the empty streets were beautiful in the warm light of the street lamps. An intoxicating sense of purpose filled him as he walked further from his residence building.

It was late enough that there was no traffic on the town’s roads, so Oliver drifted off the sidewalks and into the middle of the street. It felt so surreal, like the world was empty save for him. He caught his reflection in the corner of his eye from a darkened shop window, and stopped for a moment to take in the ridiculous sight of himself. A worryingly thin boy in a tee shirt and pajama pants stood shivering in the snow. His gaunt face and sunken eyes made him look like some kind of ghoul, and his pale skin glowed in the moonlight. Oliver trembled as a fluttering of anxiety shot through him, and he pulled himself away from the store window. If he took too long he might not be able to get to the overpass before sunrise.

We have promises to fulfill and people to save.

Normally he tried to ignore or suppress the thoughts of that sort, but tonight he let himself indulge. The words echoed in his mind, blotting out the painful cold that was saturating his feet and propelling him forward.

It’ll be okay. Everyone will be better for this.

For once, the sinking feeling of chills which crept up his gut felt natural, coherent with his surroundings. Everything felt natural for that matter. Even the chattering of his teeth seemed to distract from the malnutrition headaches which he had been suffering from the last couple weeks. At the best of times he found it hard to keep down food, but as the fall semester passed, it had become harder to motivate himself to even eat at all.

It's good that you don’t eat. You are rotten and satanic, so the less of you there is, the less bad there is.

Adrenaline made up for the strength that was quickly leaving him in the cold of the night. As he crossed the mainstreet of the town and picked up his pace into a light jog. He couldn’t feel his feet anymore. He didn’t care. He drew in large breaths as he began to run. His lungs burned from the cold air. Everything burned. The pain kept his mind silent. Without thought, he ran through the town, as if something was chasing him. Only when he reached a highway overpass ten minutes later did he stop. He leaned against the cement railing, and pulled himself up above the highway. He hadn’t chosen to arrive here, his legs had simply carried him exactly where he belonged. Below, the highway was completely empty. But in the distance, a light from a car was gently cresting the hills, growing imperceptibly closer.

Oliver crumpled against the railing. The cold had been creeping up his extremities, and now intruded deep into his chest. His thin clothing was plastered to him, frozen stiff with sweat and slush from the roads.

You can do it, You’ve gotten yourself this far, it’s only one step more.

He thought of his parents, and all their hopes and ambitions for him. He had always known he would fail them. The indignities and embarrassments which constituted their relationship with their son couldn’t be allowed to continue. He had failed them so often, and he could see in their eyes how much it hurt them. The longer he stayed here, the more he would cause them pain. He hoped that their mourning would last a short while. The note he had left behind was mostly apologies and pleas for them to quickly forget.

This felt right.

This felt like the first right thing he had done in a long, long time.

Soon there would be oblivion. He couldn’t wait for the silence, for the nothingness he would soon be granted. The car was now only a hundred meters away or so. Its speed comforted Oliver. With a flash of purpose he pulled himself up and threw himself over the railing. Vertigo and the howling wind ripped away the dreamlike stupor, and time seemed to slow. Now just twenty meters away, the car was enrapturing. Oliver found himself staring into the headlight as he tumbled downward. He wondered what kind of person was driving it. For a moment, he felt proud of himself. Then a moment later he felt dread wash over him.

You fucked it up you fucking idiot.

The car was moving faster than he thought. It passed under him. It was close enough that Oliver felt the wind shearing off it’s roof. The ground rushed up and his body bounced off the road. He didn’t feel anything but the kinetic force of it as shock kept him numb. He turned his head towards the car, almost like he expected it to turn around and run over him properly this time. But the backlights of the car just grew fainter and fainter as it sped away, before eventually disappearing into the night.

Fuck you.

Oliver rolled over onto his back and stared at the inky black sky. The world felt like it was spinning. He pressed his arms and legs against the ground to fight the sensation as best he could, but his arms refused to move away from his chest. He was too cold.

Everything hurt. Most especially his head. His breaths were deafening in the silence of the night, the only thing louder than them was the ringing in his ears. Involuntarily he curled up, pulling his knees to his chest. He laid in the middle of the highway and reeled from the shock.

You couldn’t even fucking kill yourself.

Tears streamed down his face and froze against his cheeks.

You couldn't fucking do it. You fucking useless piece of shit. You fucking piece of shit. You useless piece of shit.

The thoughts chastised him over and over again like a mantra. He couldn’t bother registering them, they simply bled into the background sensation of pain and coldness. He weakly swore at himself, before his throat clogged with tears and the swearing degenerated into guttural croaking. Through tears he looked up in both directions, hoping to see an approaching car that might still run him over. But nothing was in sight.

Something will come

But nothing was in sight.

It will come

No it won’t.

It will come

No it won’t

You’ll see, something will appear in the distance any moment now

Get up

It’ll come

Get up you fucking idiot.

It’ll come

Get up. Nothing will come, and if it does they’ll just swerve out of the way of you.

The thoughts in Oliver’s head grew silent. He resolved himself to lay and wait for another car. But his resolve wavered a moment later as the raw pain of the cold began to come back into focus. His upper body tensed in desperation as he lifted his head again to look around, but there was nothing in sight. He drew in a large breath, before screaming as loud as he could. It was little more than a pathetic whimper. His ribs groaned in pain from the exertion.

You can’t stay here all night, the cold won’t kill you quick enough. Someone will see you and alert an authority. You’ll be made even more of an embarrassment for your parents.

Oliver squeezed his eyelids shut trying to will away the thoughts.

Pull yourself off the road, and crawl back to your fucking dorm room.

He didn’t have the strength to make another attempt. Not tonight, He had spent all of the adrenaline he had. With a redoubled sense of hopelessness, he rose to his knees, before limping off the highway and climbing up the embankment.

Half an hour later Oliver stumbled into the lobby of the residence building. The warm air of the building felt like a sauna after being in the cold for so long. He took in as much of it as he could with deep, greedy breaths. His whole body stung with frostbite, and half of it roared in pain from the pathetic excuse for a suicide attempt. His mind was uncharacteristically lucid and cohesive in that all of it was united in self loathing.

Limping through the hallway to his dorm, he spared a moment of gratitude for the placement of his room on the first floor. The stairs up to the front door had proven difficult enough, he doubted he could make it up a flight to the second floor. With a shaking hand he eventually managed to get his key into the keyhole of his dorm. As he entered the sound of a television struck his ears. His roommate Tyler was sprawled out on the couch, half asleep watching some show. It seemed like Oliver’s entrance had stirred him to wakefulness.

“Oliver, w-what the fuck happened to you. Why are you up so fucking late?”

Tyler rubs some sleep out of his eyes and inspects his roommate over again.

“Where you outside in… in your fucking pajamas?”

Oliver stood for a moment staring at Tyler, before summoning up the energy to speak.

“Yeah. I needed a walk.”

His voice sounds hollow and forced even to him.

He can’t make out the expression that flashes across Tyler’s face before he speaks.

“Everything okay?”

Should I just tell him the truth? That I just threw myself off a fucking highway overpass and missed the fucking car I was aiming for? Do I tell him anything at all? Holy fuck I could really use some fucking Ketomine.

“Do you have any Keller left?” Oliver said after debating himself.

Tyler is thrown off guard for a moment.

“No, actually I need to talk to my guy to get more.”

What the fuck is the point of having a drug dealer as your roommate if he fucking can’t even spare you some fucking god damn…

“Do you have anything else? Anything that will fucking keep me from needing to think about anything?”

Tyler could feel the bad vibes slough off every word. It probably freaked him out a bit because a long moment passed before he spoke.

“Nothing all that similar. I mean I do have- um…”

His voice faltered and his eyes darted around the room, looking for something to focus on other than his roommate. Oliver felt his gut tie into a knot. He lumbered over to his room and quickly retrieved a fist full of bills from his wallet. It was supposed to be for his food for the upcoming week. He passed the lot of cash to Tyler.

“What ever the fuck it is, give it. I don’t care how much you want it for right now.”

Tyler leafed through the bills, not making eye contact with Oliver.

“I mean its pretty fucking strange and like, I don’t even think it counts as a um..”

Jesus fuck do I really have to threaten him?

“Whatever it fucking is, give it or I might let slip-”

Finally Tyler surrendered.

“Okay okay jesus fuck, just don’t say I didn’t fucking tell you. This shit is weird from what I’ve heard, which isn’t much. It’s still pretty new.”

Tyler climbed up off the couch and disappeared into his bedroom. For a moment Oliver zoned out on the ringing in his ears. It hadn’t lessened much since the fall. He probably had a concussion or something. Eventually Tyler reappeared with a prescription bottle in his hands. The pills inside looked like grey sad little things. He rattled the bottle in his hands a moment, thinking something over, before popping open the bottle and retrieving two pills from inside.

“I ain’t giving you any more than this tonight.”

He doesn’t want me to OD myself in the dorm. Fair enough.

Tyler dropped the pills into Oliver’s hand and slunk back to the couch. He then cranked up the volume, seemingly eager to put the interaction with his mess of a roommate out of mind.

“I’m gonna have a shower I think” Oliver mumbles.

Tyler nods while keeping his eyes on the TV.

“That’s a good idea, do that. Just don’t slip and crack your head open.”

Oliver murmurs in acknowledgment before limping into the bathroom. His reflection in the bathroom mirror would have depressed him most other days. Right now he just stared into it, slowly blinking, pleasantly surprised he felt nothing. The pain of the frostbite and heavy bruising was still catching up to him. Although he could sense he would be really sore in an hour or two. Eventually he pulled away from his reflection and inspected the pills in his hand. Inside of the bottle they had looked grey, but in the pale fluorescent light they were a gentle sky blue. He popped both of them in his mouth before running the faucet and drinking from the stream to wash them down.

Whatever the fuck these are they’ll probably do the job

After another moment of staring at his reflection Oliver stripped and walked into the shower. He turned the knob to the sweet spot he had found his first week of university, before sitting down on the floor of the shower and curling up in the fetal position. Even the room temperature water which initially shot out of the showerhead felt blisteringly hot to his frostbitten skin.

Good, I need this to hurt

He pulled his head down to his knees and let himself relax under the shower of water. The burning sensations all over his body were cathartic. He focused on the pain. It cleared his head of any thought spirals. His body trembled as he took deep breaths, finally giving in to the exhaustion and strain of the night. It must be 3 or 4 AM by now.

Thank fucking god Tyler has insomnia or I might have had to go through the rest of the night sober.

He could feel tears melding into the water streams that trailed down his face. It felt good. Ten minutes later and the warm water had stirred most of Oliver’s body back to life. Only his fingers and toes still felt numb. He slowed his breathing, and felt a wave of calmness soothe him.

Finally these fucking pills are kicking in. Thank fuck.

With a deep breath he unfolded his body and sat with his back flat against the wall of the shower. The water coming down on him felt sublimely pleasurable. He closed his eyes to soak in the bliss. Especially on his scalp. Little cascadences of sensation rippled across his scalp. For a moment he mourned the loss of his hair. His parents had forced him to have it buzzed off a few months before university. For some reason he cried afterwards. It hadn’t been touched since then but it was still incredibly short. Back when it was down to his shoulders he always liked the feeling of it plastered to his face by the water. It made him feel comfortable, and sort of protected his face from the spray. Although currently his face had a shit load of dried tears and snot gummed onto it. Oliver raised his head to position his face directly in the shower stream, but an odd sensation came across it.

It felt like he had his bangs back. He probed around his face with a hand and a feeling of pleasant surprise fell over him when his fingers found long locks of hair, exactly how it used to be before it was cut. Oliver opened his eyes, and was met with a confusing sight. There was actual hair in front of his eyes, but it wasn’t his normal shade of dirty blond, it was much darker.

He scooted out of the way of the water to the corner of the shower and inspected the hair between his fingers. He half expected it to disappear under scrutiny, like some hallucination brought about by the pills.

Funny, it even feels real. Wait…

Oliver brought the lock closer to his eye, checking for what he thought he had seen. The hair wasn’t just darker, it was colourful. A deep seafoam. He continued to turn it around in his hand. Strangely enough as he did, the lock seemed to flow downward and lengthen right in front of his eyes.

Those pills must be something really special. Thank god for Tyler.

Another sensation of comfort passed through his mind, this time accompanied by the oddest bout of exhaustion. He slumped over in the shower and for a moment he thought he heard a woman call out to him. He didn’t understand the language she spoke in, but it sounded beautiful. Her voice carried so much singsong in it he thought she was actually singing to him for a moment. Reminded him of lullabies his mother had sung when he was little. His eyes felt so heavy he couldn’t bear to keep them open. They closed only for a moment, before shooting back open. A singular feeling struck him as the exhaustion drained from his body. A feeling that he had just woken up from a dream.

The events of the night suddenly felt distant, irrelevant even. The world seemed so much more in focus than it was a moment before. Oliver took in the mundane view of the shower with a newfound clarity, drinking in all the details of his surroundings like he was a newborn. He reached over to the shampoo bottle in front of him, eager to see it’s bright colouring up close, but stopped as his arm came into his field of vision. The sight of it caused him to pause, but there was no fear. Only fascination.

The skin of his arm was peeling away in tiny flecks, and the flecks were floating up and turning to ash in the air as though they were embers from a fire. Slowly being revealed beneath the skin was a pale blue coat of… fur? It was smooth and seemed to be laid flat against his flesh.

The calming effect of the pills was enough for Oliver to relax and simply enjoy the spectacle which was unfolding before him. It was strangely beautiful in a way. The flecks peeling away from him felt like a warm sort of pins and needles. As it crept up his arm, thoughts of concern briefly flash in the back of his mind.

What’ll happen when it gets to my chest, or my head? What is happening to me?

With a contented smile Oliver dismissed the thoughts. There was nothing bad happening. This was good, whatever it was. These pills were a godsend. The strange hallucination continued down towards his hands and up into his shoulders. He watched in awe as his hands unspooled and floated away into an unfelt breeze, turning to ash and then to nothing in the span of a few seconds. As the last of his fingers twisted away and disintegrated, the form underneath began to be revealed. His coated arms extended up to where his palms used to be, and ended in pleasantly curved hoof sort of.. things. He moved them around and clinked them together. The ends of them were hard, like they actually were some cartoonish version of a horse’s hooves.The feeling of moving them around was like having a hand inside of a perfectly fit glove, albeit one that restricted any movement of one’s fingers.

Elsewhere on his body, the flesh continued to peel away. It had become a feeling of satisfying pleasure. He could feel it spreading across his chest, and up his neck. Oliver closed his eyes again, basking in the moment.

Everything is okay

He pushed himself back under the shower stream and laid down on his side. He was having a hard time sitting up straight, and this felt much more natural. The transformation buzzed across his face, eliciting a small moan of comfort, the warm water beating down on him only adding to the delightful feelings creeping across his body. When he twitched for a moment, a strange pressure on his back came into focus. It had been there for a few minutes now, but only now was he cognizant of it.

Oliver shifted himself and rolled his shoulders, attempting to work out the pressure, but it kept building and building. When he tried to stretch out his whole body, his form felt warped and strangely proportioned. He lifted his head and tried to look around at himself. His neck craned above his body far higher than he expected, and for a moment a wave of vertigo threw him for a loop. Yet the sight in front of him dared to confuse him even more.
Oliver’s pale anorexic body had burned away, leaving behind a pale blue coat of fur soaked against his skin in the shower. Softly muscled quadrupedal limbs lay in front of him, also covered in the coat of fur. In the steamy air, flecks of his old body danced and turned to ash in front of his eyes. The entire scene would be unbelievably surreal if not for the water beating down on his body. It seemed to ground him inside of this obvious hallucination, each droplet making contact with his body reinforcing the physicality of his new flesh.

He stared at his body for a moment more, before a jolt of movement followed an alien spasm near the base of his spine. With an unsure twitch, he tried to make the same muscle group which had just spasmed tense up. His eyes widened as he saw a tail wave up into view over his flank. When he relaxed them, it fell behind him out of view again. Caught up with a giddy curiosity, Oliver waved his tail back and forth a few more times. It was the same colour that his hair had changed to, a deep seafoam.

The colours really suit you.

He smiled as he reflected on that thought. At least until the pressure in his back turned into a sharp pain. He had been so transfixed by his new body that he had forgotten about the discomfort in his back. He twisted his head even more, until he was looking at his backside. About half way down what used to be his shoulders, two extrusions of bone pressed hard against his skin. His breathing caught in his throat as he realized that the pain had grown significantly even in the last few seconds. Whatever it was, they were about to burst out of his back. It felt almost like the final moment before one vomits, the momentum of the physical process overpowering any willpower. Oliver couldn’t stop himself from screaming.

His vision blacked out for a moment from the pain. His neck lost its strength and his head slapped down onto the shower floor. His insides shuddered as he felt his back tear open. Blood flowed down and washed into the drain in front of him, and something limp slid out onto the shower tile behind him. His breathing slowed, and he realized only half of the pressure had been alleviated. Whatever it was, he felt a compulsion to force it out of himself.

Oliver curled his whole body in a painful flex, and tensed every muscle along his back. Again his back split open, this time just a few inches to the left of where it had a moment ago. New nerve endings and musculature tensed themselves, and both of Oliver’s wings spread open. After a painful second, the two limbs folded along his back, instinctually resting along his sides.

Blood continued to flow out of his back, but it felt so relieving. Oliver laid on his side and tried to catch his breath. It took a few minutes, but he eventually sat up with his back legs folded next to him and his forelegs extended. He relished his long hair being soaked by the shower. The hot water was starting to run out for his apartment though, so he clumsily turned the handle off with his forelimbs.

These drugs are really some crazy stuff. It’s like I can’t even feel my fingers when the hallucination is on full tilt.

Experimentally, Oliver brushed his hoof against the shower curtain, expecting there to be some incongruity with the body he was seeing and the one he knew he had in reality. But there didn’t seem to be one.

Fascinating

With a stumble, Oliver tried to stand up on two feet. He was standing for only a second before he had to set his forelegs back onto the shower tile. It seemed like the drugs had also altered his sense of balance.

Maybe the only way to move around while on these things was to stay on all fours?

He laughed as he imagined what Tyler would see if he left the bathroom. He would probably look ridiculous, zonked out of his brain crawling around on his hands and knees insisting he was some kind of animal now. He took a step forward with his back left leg, then another with his front right leg. His body didn’t seem to have the wiring to intuitively walk, so he would just have to brute force it for the time being. With careful hoofsteps he carried himself out of the shower and over to the towel rack on the side of the wall. He hadn’t noticed in the shower but he felt like he was a lot smaller than before. Even much smaller than he would normally be crawling around on all fours. He awkwardly pressed his hoof on the towel, trying to pull it off with his currently numbed and invisible fingers, but it refused to budge. For a moment he stared at the towels thoroughly frustrated, until a twitch began to roll over his back. Before he could realize what he was doing, his body shook most of the water off of him like a wet dog.

He thanked god no one was there to witness the indignity.

Both his hair and newly grown tail were still dripping wet, so he pressed his head into the towel he knew was his. After a moment of rolling his head around, his hair was dry enough not to be dripping all over the apartment. He moved to dry off his tail when he realized that his tail probably didn’t exist. It was obviously some part of the hallucinations, so… was it even possible to dry it? Was the water that had been dripping off it part of the hallucination?

He wagged his tail back and forth.

It felt real enough, and he could even feel water droplets falling out of it onto his back legs. After thinking for a moment he decided he suddenly felt silly debating the existence of his tail and just dried it off on the same towel he pressed his head into. He walked with a slow deliberacy to the bathroom door, when out of the corner of his eye he caught his reflection in the bathroom mirror. He blinked three times over, and the tiny pony in the mirror did the same.

Oh my goodness that is surreal

I look so…

Oliver shook his head, fruitlessly trying to banish the thoughts which were now stirring within him.

I look so… familiar?

Something was wrong. Something was very wrong. Oliver looked back over his body, and found that he felt like he was forgetting something very important. His head strained to recall something, but whatever it was eluded him.

I look so...

Oh my god.

Feminine

Oliver stood still for a moment, before slowly turning himself around and pulling his tail to the side. His head easily swiveled on his swan-like neck to look himself squarely from behind. He hadn’t even noticed when this happened.

How did…

It suits you very well.

A scream of surprise shot out of Oliver’s throat followed by manic giggles, both of which sounded nothing like his old voice. He called out to Tyler in disbelief.

“These pills are something else man, what were-”

He stopped as the sound of his voice truly hit him. It was so unbelievably feminine and high pitched. For a moment panic began to bubble up in his stomach, but he reminded himself this was all just part of the hallucinations. Tyler had warned him it was pretty weird, so maybe he should just try to take the changes in stride. Even if he was a female pony right now.

As if to drive in the oddity of the experience, his wings flared out a bit involuntarily.

He was a winged horse pegasus thing. This hallucination really felt like nothing he had ever had before. His mind felt comforted and happy, but other than that he swore everything felt completely real. Maybe even more real than anything had felt in a long long time.

Oliver called out to his roommate again. He could still hear the television playing in the living room so Tyler was probably still half asleep on the couch. He should probably make his way out there to get some more info about how this fucking drug was supposed to work, and how long it was supposed to last. He settled on just pulling his pajama pants up over his rear, as it seemed like it would be more trouble than it was worth to go through the difficulty of shimmying into his tee shirt. The pants hung off his rear incredibly loosely, but he decided it was probably just another facet of the hallucination.

The doorknob proved a resilient foe against his hooves, but finally gave in when he simply bit onto it with his weird horse mouth thing. With an awkward rotation of his head and a firm bite, the door swung out of his way. His walk had grown a little more natural, but it was still stilted and slow. He imagined what he must look like doing this stupid routine. A nearly fully grown man crawling on his hands and knees half dressed. At least Tyler was a bit anti-social so there was little risk of this whole debacle ending up on snapchat or something.

Oliver came up next to the couch, before clumsily climbing on, scrambling a bit at the end to get his back legs onto the cushion. Tyler seemed to have nodded off again in front of some reruns of Seinfeld. Oliver briefly wondered what cable company was broadcasting Seinfeld in 2022.

With one of his hooves, Oliver gently poked at Tyler all curled up on the couch.

“Hey roomie, If you are gonna sleep you should really drag yourself to your bed. You don’t even have any pillows or blankets out here.”

Hearing himself speak was still very strange. Not bad, just fascinating. He gave another poke and Tyler groggily roused from his nap.

“If you are gonna sleep you should try to drag yourself to your bed dude, you don’t even have any pillows or blankets out here.” Oliver repeated himself.

Tyler’s eyes shot open, immediately finding and zeroing in on the thing sitting on the couch next to him. He was speechless as his mouth hung agape. Without even blinking, Tyler reached a hand out toward Oliver. It trembled a bit as it grew closer and closer to him. Oliver found himself scooching himself backwards from Tyler’s hand.

“Y-you okay Tyler? I thought I was the one who was supposed to be on drugs right now.”

Tyler froze up and blinked a few times. One of his eyebrows raised and he tilted his head in genuine confusion.

“Am I dreaming right now?” He asked warily.

Oliver gave a nervous chuckle and tried to answer in as good a humor he could muster.

“Do you normally dream of half naked men?”

Tyler’s confusion gave way to utter befuddlement.

“W-wha?”

Oliver grew worried. Tyler was often really fast on the sort of ribbing they would give each other every now and again. He probably was still waking up. Oliver tried to defuse the tension by explaining the joke.

“Well cause like, you just woke up alongside a half naked-”

“Pony,” Tyler cut in.

Oliver felt the blood drain from his face. If he hadn’t been covered in a thin coat right now he would probably look like he had just seen a ghost. He felt his ears flatten against his head and his tail instinctively curl around himself.

“A talking pony is on my couch. A fucking talking pony is on my couch.”

Tyler’s voice grew more and more excited.

“A fucking talking pony. How did you get here?”

Oliver could feel his heart racing as his roommate stared at him in awe. A moment later and his mind was racing too.

This is just a hallucination, this is all some strange trip. I’m laying in the shower passed out, or in my bed. None of this is real, none of this is real.

“Do you need my help, little pony? Who are you?” Tyler asked with a strange reverence. It sounded like he was going through a bit of a moment himself.

With a shaky voice Oliver answered

“It’s me dude, Oliver.”

Tyler seemed really caught off guard.

“Oliver?”

The little pony shifted uncomfortably.

“It was your fucking drugs that did this dude.”

Tyler’s brow furrowed and he leaned in close, studying the little pony as best he could.

“Holy shit it is you. What the fuck happened, this… this is from the drugs?”

Oliver couldn’t help but jump to his hooves suddenly filled with anger.

“What do you mean ‘this is from the drugs!?’ THEY WERE YOUR DRUGS, HOW COULD YOU NOT KNOW THEY FUCKING TRANSMUTE PEOPLE INTO LITTLE PONIES?”

Tyler stumbled back from the screaming little pony.

“I- I don’t try everything I sell -My guy just said it made you calm and small and diminutive and horse like- I- I thought it was poetic language.”

“POETIC LANGUAGE? My dude, I have HOOOVES.”

Oliver looked down at himself, the nature of his transformation really setting in.

“Oh my god I have a tail, I have wings. I have a fucking horse puss.”

Tyler did a double take before getting up and walking over to his room. A moment later he returned with the familiar bottle of horse pills. He began listing off a bunch of technical sounding medical information before raising his voice as he reached the important bit.

“M4re only lasts 4-6 hours depending on the dosages used. See? We just have to wait this out and you’ll be back to normal okay?”

Oliver collapsed on the couch with a sigh of relief. For a minute he had been worried the transformation was permanent.

It would have been nice in its own way

The intrusive thought made Oliver deeply uncomfortable. He mentally berated himself for letting such a thing cross his mind even in passing. Tyler must have picked up on his discomfort cause he broke the silence after a few seconds.

“So, is that mane of yours like, soft?”

Oliver twisted around so he was facing Tyler again.

“Um, I don’t know. It feels sort of light and bouncy I guess.”

“Come over here, let me check it out. My mom was a hairdresser and I used to help her out from time to time. Your mane is some kind of triumph, what with the colour and the shape. It's almost unreal.”

Oliver felt a bit strange having his roommate poke around his hair, but he guessed he didn’t mind. Not like he really had anything else to do at like five in the morning. He stumbled a bit as his hooves sank into the couch cushions, but he eventually made it over next to Tyler in one piece. He laid down in a bit of a loaf, before focussing on the television as Tyler began to examine his “mane” as he had called it. The gentle tugging on his scalp actually felt really nice.

“So the colour just came in along with the hair? You were almost bald before.”

“Yeah it changed while I was in the shower. I only noticed when it got long enough to get in my face.”

“I know like seven women who would kill to have hair like this.”

Oliver couldn’t help but laugh.

“Just tell them they need to take some of your sick horse drugs and turn into a cartoonish little pony.”

“I think saying that sort of thing would draw out a different sort of girl altogether. The incredibly rare and dangerous, horse-girl junkie.”

“You know it sounds like you’ve just discovered a lucrative market segment, you might make a killing off this m4re yet, or whatever it was called.”

Both of them chortled from their banter. This was nice. It was weird but Oliver hadn’t realized how nice it was just talking with Tyler. They hadn’t really just relaxed like this before. Weird that it took him transforming into a pony for it to happen.

“Do you mind if I check out your scalp? There is a slight gradient in your hair and I wanna get a better look.”

“Sure sure, just be careful and stuff.”

Tyler’s fingers gently brushed half of Oliver’s mane to the side, before they descended on his scalp. The feeling of it was sublimely nice, pleasurable even. Oliver couldn’t help but fidget a little.

“I think...I think my head is a lot more sensitive than it was before.”

Tyler raised a curious eyebrow.

“Oh?”

“Yeah, give it a little bit of a scratch okaaaaaa-”

As Tyler gently dragged his fingers over Oliver’s scalp his voice slurred and he failed to finish his sentence. He fell silent and simply drank in the sensation. His body pushed his head up and against Tyler’s hands.

Oh god this feels so amazing, more please more god please more.

Oliver snapped out of the daze only when Tyler pulled his hand away laughing to himself.

“Why did you stop? W-what's so funny?” Oliver’s voice held a desperation which betrayed himself.

Tyler snickered a bit

“You were acting like a touch hungry cat dude, I seriously thought you were about to start purr-ing.”

You loved it you little whore, you might as well present yourself to him and ask to be serviced like the mare you are. Maybe you can ask him to tug on your tail and slap your ass next.

Oliver jolted in disgust at himself, and turned away from Tyler so as to hide his face, now blushing as red as a tomato. He cleared his throat and summoned up what composure he could.

“It um, it just really did feel great. I think this pony drug thing wires you a bit differently. I’m getting some um… some weirdness.”

Tyler leaned back on the couch and drew his arms behind his head, stretching out his back.

“So, are you feeling any better from earlier in the night?”

What even happened earlier tonight?

Oliver searched his memories for clarification on what Tyler meant, but he couldn’t draw on anything before taking his shower. Had he been studying?

“What do you mean earlier in the night?” He asked earnestly.

“Like, whatever was going on when you fucking stumbled in frost bit to hell and wearing nothing but your pajamas. Whatever that was about, do you feel better now?”

Oh god, the cold. The overpass. Did that actually happen? It all felt like a half forgotten dream at this point.

As the details of the night finally struck Oliver, he realized he hadn’t thought about any of the usual dark shit which had been clouding his mind the last few weeks. Everything felt so distant and unimportant. It was like that whole affair had been nothing but a bad dream, and now he was awake. He laid his head down in front of him, answering Tyler with a low voice of contentment.

“Yeah, I feel alot better. I can barely even remember what I was so beat up about.”

Tyler nodded and absent mindedly gave his attention back to the Television. Oliver let out a little yawn and nestled himself into the couch cushion. The indistinct conversation and laugh tracks of Seinfeld faded into the background, and Oliver felt sleep come upon him. He didn’t resist.

Red Flags

Oliver awoke to a burning sensation at the tips of his fingers. The pain of it roused him almost immediately, and he sprang up from the couch with his whole body erect. He pulled his front two hooves up and away from the cushion as the burning sensation grew. In the back of his mind he unconsciously registered that he was a little pony. The thought passed out of mind as imperceptibly as it arrived, in the same way one might notice the lights in a room were on. What did draw his attention and soon after his alarm, were the flecks of burning flesh materializing out of thin air around his hooves. His breathing quickened as he held his hooves up to his eyes. Blood vessels and ligaments were coalescing out of thin air and anchoring themselves to the tips of his fingers as they floated in place around his hooves. More of the human flesh grew out of the embers which were slowly making their way down forming a pair of hands. As the pain grew sharper, Oliver’s breaths became even more frantic.

No no no no no no no no oh god oh fuck why does it hurt so much

In a strange desperation he buried his newly forming hands under a pillow, but the embers of the transformation reverting him back to normal continued out of sight. If he wasn’t already so panicked it might have helped. As it was in the moment his tiny body shivered and seized up at the pain. He successfully resisted the urge to scream out, but was unable to hold back the tears from his eyes. The feeling of calm and comfort which had so soothed him through the first transformation was draining away from him as the process operated in reverse. He pulled his hooves back out from under the pillow to find two fully formed hands encasing them. The embers of the transformation had begun to creep up his forelimbs, and as they did Oliver realized the flesh that was being formed was red and painfully cold.

The transformation was reverting his body back to the moment before he had taken the meds, frost bite and bruises all.

Wincing from the pain his old body was suffering, Oliver curled his body up and held his hands to his chest. There was nothing he could do, so in defeat he simply laid down as the changes ate away his ponybody. Tears welled up in his eyes, but the almost paralyzing sensation of the transformation kept him from breaking down into a sobbing mess. A minute or so into the reverse transformation, the embers reached the base of his wings. The moment the first one touched one of his feathers, the entire wing shot up, blooming for a moment in brilliant orange and reds before disintegrating into ash, and then into air.

Don’t, please don’t take them from me.

He heard his despair drenched voice whisper the words, pleading to some observing god to spare his wings from the reclamation. He didn’t know why, but losing them stung worse than the actual pain of his old flesh returning.

Whatever power presided over him did nothing to stop what had been set in motion. As Oliver clutched his changing body, a strange sensation crept in behind the pain and panic at the front of his mind. It felt like he was slipping out of consciousness. It reminded him of being sedated at the dentist’s office to get his wisdom teeth out. He was falling out of the real world and into a delusion, helpless against it.

The feeling was all the stranger because he wasn’t actually losing consciousness, it only felt like he was. The calming and serene reality was being replaced by a dream- more like a nightmare- of him turning into some hairless ape. More tears streamed down his face as he grimaced with internal terror at the experience. Yet the transformation continued, gradually returning his old body back. The side of him which had smacked against the ground under the overpass was excruciatingly painful, especially since the adrenaline of the night was absent. Inside of his mind Oliver screamed for it to stop, repeating it over and over again. After five more minutes it eventually did. Finally a naked, frostbitten and heavily bruised human lay on the floor of the dorm.

Everything felt distant, as though he was underwater.

The ringing in Oliver’s ears slowly died down, and the sounds of morning crept in. With a moan which for a moment sounded alien to him, Oliver dragged himself over to his room. Light was pouring in through the blinds, and his phone was buzzing from two missed alarms. He had already missed a morning lecture, and had another one in a couple hours.

First things first he downed a couple painkillers from a little bottle he kept under his bed. With a sluggish struggle, he managed to get dressed before collapsing at his desk. For a moment he sat motionless slumped over in his chair, but after two deep breaths he sat up and hit the power button on his laptop. As it booted up his mind still felt fazed. The world was ephemeral, like he was still dreaming. As his fingers danced across the keyboard inputting a password, his limbs felt distant and numb. To try and rouse himself from the miasma he slapped himself, but the stinging did little to help.

Without really knowing what he was doing he brought up google.

We should look into the effects of the drugs Tyler gave you, they were called mare or something like that.

His fingers obeyed the thought, and typed “Mare drug effects” into the search bar. A small collection of news articles appeared. Most of them merely made mention of so-called “medical impossibilities” with assurances that researchers were scrambling to understand it. There were no specific details over what those medical impossibilities were.

He scrolled down further until he began seeing blog posts. He clicked on one that claimed to be an FAQ about the drug. What looked like a geocities webpage sprang into view, the glaring whiteness of the screen making him wince from his headache. Disquieting Times New Roman text came into focus, and Oliver felt a fascination stir in the pit of his stomach. At the top of the page a line of text boldly proclaimed

“WAYWARD SOULS AND LOST MIGRANTS, THE SALVATION OF M4RE AWAITS”

At least this should be an interesting read.

With a strange hunger Oliver poured over the webpage. The first couple paragraphs seemed to be prayers of some kind, but he had never heard of the gods they were directed at. Below that, there was a list of the effects.

-Rapid Transformation of one’s physical body into that of a small pony*

-Pervasive sense of calm

-Heightened desire for physical intimacy

-An increased sensitivity to touch

-Dissociative sensations

Below the list there was a small footnote, followed by several blurry phone images of what Oliver recognized to be a transformed person.

*The body of the transformed appears vaguely equine, but resembles nothing living or extant on this world.

Beyond the photos the FAQ Finally appeared. Most of the questions were about safe dosages and fun things to do when you were transformed. They all seemed weirdly infantilizing or demeaning. A few more of the questions were about the specifics of the transformed bodies. Apparently there was a recorded gender ratio of one male for every nine female ponies, even among users who were male to begin with.

Oliver kept reading until he found a question about apparent “Lingering Effects”.

After the transformed returns to their original body, certain symptoms may carry onward, sometimes for weeks afterwards. The most common of these symptoms is that of dissociation, where the user may feel like their sober life is merely a dream or a delusion.

Other more serious symptoms may be avoided simply by allowing a period of a few days between each transformation. If someone uses M4re more often than that, physical elements of their transformed body may be retained even after the end of the transformation back to their original body. These more serious symptoms are speculated to be able to be reversed given a long enough break from using the substance. The most common of these symptoms is the retention of the hair and eye colour of the transformed body, over into the original body.”

Oliver tried to imagine his human body with the seafoam hair and yellow eyes of his transformed body. He would look straight out of a bad cosplay competition or an anime convention. He checked through a couple more of the blogs, but none offered more information than the first. With a sigh he leaned back in his chair and mulled over what the blog had said. The dissociative sensations were a little less spooky now that he knew they were a normal side effect. The author of the first blog was clearly a nutjob of some kind, but at least it was a little interesting to read. Out of impulse Oliver brought it back up and looked around for an email.

Found it, [email protected]m

He clicked over to his own email and began composing one to this Glitterveil. In the subject line he thought for a moment before simply filling in “Questions about M4re”. He started off with a bit of thanks for the information on their webpage, before launching into a couple easy questions about how long they had been using M4re and if dosages affected the length of the transformation and to what degree. These were mostly to diffuse the weirdness of the last question. He felt silly even writing it. But his fascination had been piqued and there was nothing else to help it.

“Could you elaborate on the connection between the substance, and your prayers for ‘Migrants’ or whatever?”

Oliver paused for a moment before sending the email, judging himself for the strangeness of it all. He glanced over at his phone to see his next Lecture was now only half an hour away. With a heavy breath he shut his laptop and went about getting ready for the lecture. It was a twenty minute walk from his dorm so he really should get a move on.

What is even the fucking point, you are probably just gunna blow your head off in the next month. Why not lay back down and relax. What is even the fucking point-

With a great deal of effort Oliver forced the negative thoughts out of mind and walked himself out of his room. He locked the door behind him before turning around and continuing down the hallway. When he passed Tyler’s room though, he was unable to stop himself from noticing the door was slightly ajar. Tyler always locked his room. He must have forgotten when he woke up and left for class himself. Maybe waking up with a pony snoozing on the living room couch had thrown off his sense of habit.

It is in there, you know it is

Oliver tried to calm himself, rid himself of the self destructive urges.

The bottle is probably right there waiting for you

For a moment he remembered the bliss he had felt last night.

Just take a look, maybe he hid it away and it's not even there

He extended out a finger, and pushed gently on the door. It swung open another foot or so. Among the piles of books and binders, the still open prescription bottle of light blue pills sat on Tyler’s computer desk. Oliver felt himself tense up, slightly losing his composure. His left foot began a rapid anxious bouncing as his mind tried to push him away from the open door.

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck” He whispered to himself.

I have class today, I can’t fucking miss it. I’m already struggling enough this term, if I miss any more I’ll be fucked. I can’t miss it- You’re already failing almost everything, why do you try so hard when you know you are a fucking failure already. Give in, let go. We can have some fun today instead of- I need to go to class I need to go to class I need to-

Oliver looked to the open prescription bottle. It was waiting there. He had already forked over enough money to probably pay for it twice over. It technically was already his.

I have taken on student loans, I have things I need to do, I need to go to class- If the loans ever get too bad you can always kill yourself! And in the meantime you can actually enjoy today. Don’t you want to do that? Don’t you want to enjoy yourself Little Pon-

“FUCK”

Without another thought Oliver surged forward. He nearly stumbled over himself as he seized the bottle and quickly rolled two pills out of it and onto his palm. They barely weighed anything at all. Oliver paused, and then a moment later popped the pills into his mouth already resolved to missing the lecture. He swallowed them without the need for anything to wash them down. After he did he stood dumbly in Tyler’s room, taking in the consequences of what he had just done. What normally remained a distant dread for his academic performance shot to the front of his mind. The disgust in himself which a minute before could have been put to some use finally reared itself, sending forth a flurry of admonishment.

Oliver walked out of Tyler’s room and closed the door behind him with a measured sloth before heading back to his room. He slung his backpack off his shoulder and threw it into a corner, the textbooks and binders inside landing with a heavy thud. He set the bottle of M4re down on his bedside table and inspected the label closely for the first time. There was a newer label plastered over an older one, probably whatever non-horse-transformation drug prescription the bottle had originally carried, which had on it the name of the drug and some very basic information.

M4re really was a silly name for it. Way too on the nose.

He let himself fall back onto his bed as he felt the first whiffs of the comfort from the drug begin to well up inside him. He stared at the popcorn plaster ceiling and savoured the quiet mind in which he now found himself. The thought spirals stopped. The constant self hatred and petty little beratements silenced. He took a deep breath as he soaked up the moment, his head swimming in comfort. When he felt the numbing glimmers of the transformation begin at the tips of his fingers, it was welcomed with gusto. Oliver felt himself shiver in excitement as the painless burning away of the old flesh began to manifest.

What is happening, what is becoming of me?

The transformation this time felt sweeter, maybe a little faster. It was almost as though he was leading it through the motions like a ballroom dance, the anticipation of the next element pushing the current one with an eager speed.

Whatever you are becoming, it is lovely

Already Oliver’s wings slid out of his shoulder blades. In a single action he flexed the remembered musculature from before with enough force to expel both of the nascent wings from his back. An orgasmic catharsis fell over him as he relaxed and allowed the rest of the transformation to transpire. The caress of his painless rebirth lulled Oliver into a trance, and he could feel what seemed like a gentle wind upon his face.The sensation carried with it a feeling of utter freedom and joy.

If he wasn’t almost completely engulfed in bliss, he might have found that strange. The motes of flesh rising off of Oliver were coming off in such a fast pace it felt almost like he was being consumed and reformed in some crucible of fire. The frost bite and bruising which had remained sore were simply erased as the new flesh took the place of the old.

After five minutes, the transformation burned away the tip of his right ear and he was left laying on his bed, now returned to the same state he was in last night, sans the mild panic. The affairs of university and even of regular life suddenly felt as distant and irrelevant as the happenings of an obscure and distant land.

Everything was okay.

Everything was exactly right.

The sun was setting as Tyler made his way back to his dorms. His science lab had been a struggle, and the hefty lab manual doubled the weight of his backpack by itself. He still had hours of work to complete, but he was eager to return to the relative solitude and comfort of his dorm. As he inserted his key into the door he was surprised and slightly annoyed to find it was unlocked. He had told Oliver time and time again to-

There was someone in the dorm. He could hear them moving around making sounds. Oliver had class right now so some random person must be fucking rifling through their room. Tyler’s hands balled up into fists and he pushed open the unlocked door.

“Whoever the fuck is in here you have one chance to explain what you think you are doing before I call campus security.” He called out to a seemingly empty room.

First two blue ears poked out from behind the coffee table in the living room, and then a little pony peered up above the table and gave a startled look to Tyler. It was the same pony from last night.

“Oliver what the fuck are you doing here? I thought you had class starting like… twenty minutes ago why are you a fucking pony?”

The little pony was confused for a moment before a look of recognition flashed on its face. In a whimpering voice Oliver replied,

“I.. I wasn’t feeling up to it today, so I just um… I figured I would enjoy some more of-”

Tyler raised his voice in reprimand.

“You didn’t even lock the door, what if someone fucking saw you? You realize this could get me in trouble too right? Especially if after they realize you’ve taken some hard drugs they search our dorm? Jesus fucking christ.”

Oliver looked down at his hooves and gave a pathetic sounding sorry. Tyler felt the start of a stress headache creeping into his head.

“Just, be more careful please. And at least try to fucking pass this semester or I might have to deal with another roommate after they boot your ass out.”

He couldn’t believe Oliver sometimes. Ever since they first moved in he had struggled with even the most basic functions and schedules of school. Tyler supposed it wasn’t really his business, but having Oliver stumble into the dorm at 3am frostbitten to hell, or pony’d up on drugs when he should be in class sort of threatened to make it his business. He tried to put it out of mind and instead went to fetch himself some cereal. It wasn't much of a meal, but he felt too lazy to cook up some pasta. Maybe later tonight he would have frozen pizza, but for now some good old fruit loops would suffice. As he poured himself a bowl, he felt something tug on his pant leg. He looked down to see Oliver next to him, looking up with impossibly big eyes.

“Could you pour a bowl for me too please?” Oliver asked in his feminine pony voice.

Tyler gave an exasperated sigh. He was too tired for this. Without any fuss he pulled out another bowl and filled it with the fruit loops. He then picked up his own and began walking to his room. He stopped when he heard the scratching of hooves on the cabinets as Oliver struggled and failed to reach up to the countertop. For a moment he considered leaving Oliver to his fate, but he wasn’t that cruel.

“Need help?” He said with a patronizing glint to his voice.

Oliver turned his head and nodded while looking like he was about to cry.

What a dramatic little bitch Tyler thought to himself.

He took Oliver’s bowl and set it down on the ground. The little horse, which was getting increasingly difficult for Tyler to recognize as his moody roommate, picked up the bowl in it’s mouth and trotted over to the living room couch. With an agile jump he landed on top of one of the cushions before calling out to Tyler.

“If you want to have something in the background while you work you could sit with your laptop as we have some TV on quietly.”

Tyler mulled it over. He usually needed some radio or lofi playlist in the background while he worked on school shit, and the couch was comfier (if way worse for his posture) for typing. With a shrug he grabbed his laptop from his room, noticed the absence of the M4re he had left on his desk the night prior, and sat down next to Oliver on the living room couch.

“So I noticed you went into my room and fetched yourself some more of your horse skittles. Do you have a spare key or something?”

Oliver set his bowl down on the cushion in front of him.

“You left your room unlocked and slightly open in the morning.” He answered nonchalantly. He then lowered his muzzle or snout or whatever it was into the bowl of fruit loops. Tyler watched in horror as his roommate ate from the bowl like he was a dog. After a couple seconds of staring he pulled his gaze away from the little pony next to him and pulled up a document for school on his laptop. As he skimmed through the assignment, he began eating from his own bowl of loops.

“I would appreciate it, if you didn’t fucking go into my room in the future. Ever.” Tyler said with no small amount of venom.

Oliver seemed unfazed by the severe tone, and answered through a mouthful of cereal.

“I only went in to get the M4re which I've already paid you for. Now that I have it I promise I’ll never go in your room again.”

Tyler wasn’t entirely satisfied, but let the issue drop. Really so long as Oliver never went into his room again then there was no real problem. He continued scrolling through the assignment before finding an online worksheet that he had to fill out. In the background Oliver fumbled with the TV remote and managed to get some cartoons playing quietly.

For half an hour the two roommates sat comfortably eating their fruit loops.

The worksheet was easier than expected, the answers and paragraphs of explanation flowing effortlessly from Tyler’s fingers. As he filled out the last answer he slumped backwards and let his head fall limply to the side. He only had some readings to complete and he would be done for the night. His relishing was interrupted when he felt something soft sit itself down against him.

Oliver had taken it upon himself to lay himself down right against his thigh. Tyler felt a little weirded out by his roommate’s touch hungry disposition.

“Oliver what… what are you doing there bud?”

The little pony blushed and avoided making eye contact with him.

“I um.. I saw you had finished what you were working on, so I um… I thought um you might want to um, maybe um pet me or like, maybe just a few scritches.”

The creature that was asking for pets from him seemed so alien and detached from the moody loner he knew Oliver as. In a way that made it seem less strange. It was probably just a side effect of the drugs Oliver had been indulging in. Tyler had enough experience babysitting junkies that some petting was a rather mundane request to him.

He raised up his left hand and set it down over Oliver, before gently scritching his scalp. Just like last night it seemed to quiet Oliver into a blissful little daze. As he scrolled through the reading material on his laptop with his right hand, his left absentmindedly scritched and petted the little pony nestled next to him.

He had always been great with animals, and appreciated their company more than he liked the company of most other humans. Oliver’s presence was not only tolerable in this form, it was quite comforting. More like a therapy dog than some depressed university student. The two of them sat on the couch all throughout Tyler’s required readings and then some half an hour past it. Oliver had been mostly quiet save for the occasional sharp inhale or murmur of unintelligible delight.

Finally Tyler unceremoniously stood up and gave a final pat to the top of Oliver’s head.

“Have a good night Oliver, try to actually make it to class tomorrow okay. Having you drugged out in the dorm all the time is not the best use of your university days.”

The little pony shrunk a bit in shame.

“I'll try.”

The tone was the familiar hopelessness Tyler had grown to expect from Oliver. It was strangely reassuring to hear it coming from the blue mare. As he turned away and took a step towards his room Oliver cleared his throat and spoke up.

“Hey um, It feels a little weird having you call me Oliver when I’m like this. Would you maybe consider calling me something else?”

Unease penetrated deep into Tyler.

“No Oliver, I won’t.”

He quickly turned away from his roommate and shut the door behind him with a sure force.

Impulse Control

Oliver had managed to drag himself to class the next day despite a throbbing headache. The lecture hall echoed the professor’s words into daggers as they reverberated around in his head. He felt like he was a few seconds from throwing up. With one arm he propped his head up, and with the other he dutifully wrote down abridged notes. Most of the other students were simply capturing the lecture on handheld recorders.

He felt silly for even being there, surrounded by real people working towards bettering their lives. He was scum for taking a seat which could have been given to an actual student with actual prospects and hopes and dreams. He couldn’t stop thinking about killing himself, even as the lecture was passing through the front of his mind.

The reality is that you are worthless. Every moment you are alive you soak up attention and energy and time that could have been given to another. The longer you shirk away from the responsibility you have to remove yourself from the world, the worse of a person you become.

He shut his eyes and tried to slow his breathing, calming himself. Pain from his headache shot across his head and he doubled over in his seat for a moment. Tears were forming in the corners of his eyes for no reason. The knowledge he was falling apart from literally no external stress made his heart sink even more.

Through gritted teeth he whispered to himself.

“Nothing has even happened today, fucking sit up.”

His body obeyed, despite the protestations from his chest. It felt like his heart and lungs were in a vice, desperately working themselves into a frenzy to avoid being crushed. The notes he was taking were rapidly degenerating into scrawl as he struggled to keep his hand from shaking. The professor cleared his voice and directed the lecture hall’s attention to a projected diagram of a quaternary protein structure. Oliver felt his eyes sink into their sockets as he stared at the image. The words of the professor slid out of his brain a moment after they entered, crowded out by the internal screaming he was utterly failing to reign in.

A moment of lucidity flashed across his mind. Unlike the catastrophizing slew of suicidal ideation he couldn’t dismiss it or even disagree with its statement.

You don’t belong here when you are in this state of mind.

The catastrophizing slew of thought reformed around this accurate assessment of himself.

You can’t do this. You can’t even get yourself through a class before you fall apart and start crying. You are wasting everyone’s time by being here. You are eating up resources meant for genuine human beings. Fuck you. It would have been better for everyone involved if you had actually managed to kill yourself any of the times you failed. You can’t even kill yourself, how can you expect to fufill your academic obligations. Only a retard or a fucking insane person would think you even had a chance of doing this. Kill yourself promptly so you can free everyone from the burden of being in your presence. Fuck you. Kill yourself.

Oliver pulled his right hand away from the paper, and impaled his left hand with the pen he was holding. It sunk half an inch into his hand. Blood started pooling up around the puncture.

He felt his lungs tighten into a vice, and after a moment of pause he carefully exhaled as slow as he could manage. The girl sitting a foot next to him must have seen because she scooched herself a foot or so further away from him. Never mind the residual spotty colouring across his scalp, he must have looked like a crazy person. But the sharp pain which screeched from Oliver's hand cleared his head. There was lovely silence for once. He felt tremors shake his body from the pain but he inhaled and exhaled, savouring the clarity it had provided. His face softened out of the snarling rictus it had been stuck in for the past few minutes. He swallowed, before pulling the pen out of his hand and wiping it off on his shirt. He left his left hand laying flat on the desk, and returned to taking notes with his right hand.

He smiled in satisfaction.

The lecture only continued for another fifteen minutes, after which Oliver headed back to his dorm. He kept his left hand stuffed in his pant pocket the way back, not wanting anyone to see his self-inflicted injury. Everything was quiet and serene. Even his head.

The snow from a few days ago had melted, and a warm autumn breeze was accompanying Oliver through the campus. It was probably the last warm breeze of the entire year. Absentmindedly he wondered what it would feel like on his wings if he was a pony right now. As he came up to his dorm the despair from earlier was kept at bay through an internal promise. He knew exactly what he was going to allow himself the moment he was back in his room. As he opened the door to his and Tyler’s dorm Tyler called out to him.

“How did class go?”

“It went pretty okay. I think I’m gonna chill for a minute and then go for a walk.” Oliver said with a practiced felicity.

“Sounds healthy!”

Tyler approved of the cardio apparently. He probably wouldn’t if he knew Oliver intended to have hooves while he did it, but what Tyler didn’t know wouldn’t bother him. Oliver slid into his room and locked his door behind him. He quickly threw off his clothes and popped a couple of the pills from the bottle of M4re. He waited until the euphoria and sensation of comfort began to take effect, before opening his bedroom window. It was only a four foot drop out of it onto the ground. The same breeze from earlier gently swept through his bedroom. He could already imagine how it would feel on his coat, on his little horse face.

The transformation probably took four minutes from start to finish but to Oliver it felt instantaneous. When he opened his eyes the embers of the transformation were fluttering in the breeze. The open window was calling to him, and every ounce of his tiny body glittered with anticipation.

His wings gave a few testing flaps before fanning out. With a short run, he leaped towards the window off his bed and gave as hard of a flap of his wings as he could manage. He ducked his head down to miss the top of the window frame, and for a glorious moment he was flying in the afternoon sun. He inhaled the fresh air and his big eyes marveled at the sky before him. If he had been less overcome by the beauty of the world he might have remembered to try flapping his wings more than once. The feeling of weightlessness was quickly replaced by the sinking inevitability of gravity. Oliver plummeted the short fall downward into a convenient pile of leaves one of the groundskeepers must have raked. A screech of fear was soon followed by delighted giggles as he poked his head up and out of the pile of leaves.

--

Tyler took another swig from his can of monster and slumped forward as his fingers danced across the keyboard. He had gotten into a groove with his work, and the caffeine was fueling a fevered pace. He might end up finishing his work a couple hours earlier than planned. It had been easy with how quiet things had been.

Tyler paused and gave a glance to Oliver’s door, taking a moment to listen.

Oliver had been very quiet ever since he got back to the apartment. Tyler couldn’t tell if he had gone for a run yet or not. He hadn’t heard him leave. Still, run or not, it was good Oliver seemed to be doing better. The M4re stuff might actually be a good way for him to relax and get his mind off- whatever it is that had been bothering him. If being a pony for a night let Oliver blow off some steam and focus on his studies the rest of the time, then it was probably worth it.

He hummed and turned back to his work, typing out the final page. With a satisfying final tap of a period, Tyler finished his writeup. As he pulled up another document, his phone dinged with a notification. He ignored it. A second notification. Then a third. Exasperation gave way to curiosity and he finally checked the phone. Multiple of his group chats were lighting up, as was his snap chat.

Tyler’s eyes widened and his expression morphed into a grimace. “Holy fucking shit, that rotten fucking depressed junkie.”

Oliver galloped as fast as his little hooves could carry him, ducking back and forth between young trees which had recently been planted in the greenspace behind his dorm. Surprise and pride filled his heart as he realized just how much more agile he had become since his first time.
With a leap and a flap of his wings he easily cleared another of the leaf piles. The momentum of the jump was harder to control than he expected and he skidded on a pathway that cut through the greenspace. He looked behind him at the distance he had just raced and gave a whinny of excitement, followed by a celebratory little trot in place.

“Woah what's that?”

His ears swiveled to locate the sound and he turned his head to see two girls farther up the pathway pointing at him. They were calling out to him, patting their legs and waving him towards them. Somewhere inside of his head he heard a voice screaming to run away and get out of sight, but it went unheeded.

Oliver instead found himself trotting towards the two girls. He thought he might have recognized one of them from somewhere, but he couldn’t place it. As he got closer, any apprehension he might have felt melted away. All he could think about was how good it would feel to get some scritches from them. When he was finally a few feet away from them he stopped. The taller of the two reached out with a hand and said something warm sounding. Oliver couldn’t make it out, but he didn’t really care. His eyes were too busy staring at the outstretched hand. He was quite a bit smaller than them—he only came up to their knees.

“Psspsspss. Come here little pony,” one of the girls said as they crouched and reached out.

A final threshold in his head was crossed and he pressed himself into the open palm of the taller girl. She giggled in delight and gave a few testing pets before reaching out with her other hand and scratching behind Oliver’s ears. She turned and beamed at her friend.

“Oh my gosh she likes me! Ellie, get a picture!”

Something about the statement perturbed Oliver, but he couldn’t understand beyond a vague feeling. That too melted away when the girl began scritching under his chin.

“Aaaaaaa she’s just like a kitten look at her! Look at the lil pony-wony!”

The snapping of a few photos went almost unnoticed by Oliver, too wrapped up in the sensations of petting that were quickly unraveling his mind. The other girl kneeled down next to him and began petting and brushing his mane with her fingers.

“She’s just like the ones on youtube right?” the one named Ellie said.

“Oh no, she’s much better behaved! Aren’t you~ Aren’t you just the sweetest little pony there is!” the tall one said in an intoxicating baby voice. She held Oliver’s head in both of her hands and gave little scritches with her fingers as she continued

“Who's a good pony? Who's a good pony?”

Oliver felt a welling up of excitement and joy. Again something inside of him screamed, but it was smothered under the torrent of pleasure from the pettings.

“I am! I am a good pony!”

At least that is what Oliver had *tried* to say. What the two girls heard was a singsong whinny of excitement. This was more than enough for them though.

“Oh my gosh she can speak! Speak, c’mon speak more!”

Oliver again uttered something between a song and a whinny, unaware that the two girls couldn’t understand him. They both looked like they were going to melt from the cuteness.

“I have to get a video, give me a sec,” Ellie said while pulling out a phone. She handed it to her friend and then scooted around so that she was sitting next to Oliver on the ground. She reached around and picked Oliver up from under his forhooves and pulled him over onto her lap. Instead of protesting, Oliver went limp and felt a sort of comfortable helplessness lull him into acquiescence. For nearly half an hour Oliver continued absorbing all the pets he could from the two girls. Near the end he had even started to pose and model for their pictures, loving the attention. Eventually though, the taller one started to try and drag Ellie away from the little pony they had found in the park.

“Can’t we keeeeeep her?”

“No, pets aren’t allowed in our dorms.”

Pet?

A strange sadness grazed Oliver as he watched the two girls jog off back to their dorms. It was quickly put out of mind though when a falling leaf grabbed his attention. He poked at it with his snoot as it danced in the wind. Pretty soon the whole interaction with the girls was out of mind as he returned to racing around the greenspace. After another hour or so of running around like a dog off its leash, Oliver finally made his way back to the open window to his bedroom. With a loud clattering, Oliver clipped his legs on the bottom of the window and corkscrewed through the air before making a relatively safe landing on his mattress. He whinnied in delight as he stood up on his mattress. Everything had gone *mostly* perfect! He trotted around in celebration. He was so happy that for a few seconds he didn’t even notice the loud banging on his door. Tyler was angry about something.

“OLIVER I KNOW YOU’RE IN THERE.”

Another set of loud bangs made Oliver flinch back. More screams followed.
“OLIVER I SWEAR TO GOD ILL FUCKING GET CAMPUS SECURITY TO BUST DOWN THIS FUCKING DOOR IF YOU AREN’T GOING TO OPEN UP!”

With a scramble Oliver jumped off his bed and called out to Tyler.

“I’ll unlock the door. Just give me a second okay.”

That is what he tried to say at least. He didn’t notice, but again his speech had become the singsong nonsense and pony noises from before. Either way it at least got Tyler to stop screaming. He raised up on his rear legs and twisted the lock with his forhoof. It took a moment but he managed to get it. He called out again to Tyler in an unintelligible speech. The door opened dreadfully slowly, and suddenly, Oliver was filled with a fear that wasn’t there a moment before. He resisted the urge to scurry under his bed and hide from his roommate. Instead he simply sat upright, trying not to look terrified. Tyler entered the room, his eyes jumping from the open window to the little blue mare on the ground. His face was deathly serious.

“Oliver, we need to have a talk.”

Oliver quivered, a heavy feeling settling in his gut.

“You barely go to your classes, you barely manage to feed yourself,” his voice grew dire.

“And now you’ve fucking wandered around the campus while high off your ass on a HIGHLY ILLEGAL drug. Those dumb fuck girls didn’t know that you were just some student on M4re, but cops will. Feds will know. Half the fucking campus is shit posting about the little pony that was found in the park. And I don’t know if you’ve heard, but M4re users have been getting fucking tracked down and abducted to who knows where.”

He paused for a moment, and Oliver felt the pit in his stomach grow three times over.

“We need to get rid of the M4re. I’ll let you have an ounce of weed or something in exchange, but we need to flush the M4re.”

The little mare at his feet stared at Tyler in a stunned silence, before exploding into more of the unintelligible babble from before.

“What? What the fuck are you saying Oliver. Fucking speak clearly.”

Oliver continued with more and more of the singsong babble. Tyler ground his teeth.

“YOU AREN’T FUCKING SPEAKING ENGLISH. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU SAYING OLIVER?!”

Oliver looked confused for a moment. He tried to ask what Tyler meant, but as he did he realized Tyler wouldn’t understand that either. Piercing pain rolled through his head, and a blaring ring filled his ears. After a moment it stopped, and he tried again to speak. His voice was unsure and alien sounding to him, but he could tell he was speaking English again.

“I… I just needed a bit of a run outside. You don’t know how it feels. It's so amazing being—”

“I don’t need to know how amazing it is Oliver. You fucking put both of our fucking educations at stake. If they find out that fucking horse was YOU, they’ll definitely end up searching our apartments. Do you even know if anyone else saw you? What if someone was filming when you went back to your room?”

Oliver felt his ears flatten against his head.

“N-no one saw me, I don’t think,” he said.

“You mean you don’t know?You could have just fucking gotten both of us kicked out or arrested. I’m not going to let you fucking ruin my degree. The best thing to do now is to flush the M4re—”

“NO” Oliver screamed.

“Oliver, listen to me. We need to make sure this doesn’t get back to either of us okay?”

“NO” Oliver screamed again, getting more frantic.

“Oliver-”

“DON’T CALL ME THAT”

Tyler fell silent. His chest rose and fell once before he continued to speak.

“What would you like me to call you?”

Oliver’s face softened, and a sunny disposition filled his little horse features.

“Seafoam, um.. please”

Tyler’s eyes squinted and he looked Oliver over, measuring him up.

“You aren’t taking this seriously enough, Oliver-”

Oliver gave a small huff and a rotten look. Tyler paused again.

“Do you really expect me to call you Seafoam?” Tyler said.

Oliver looked down at himself. When he spoke, his voice was lowered almost to a whisper.

“Tyler, you don’t know what it's like. It feels weird for you to call me Oliver when I’m…”

Tyler rolled his eyes.

“Oliver, You really need to listen to me and understand this drug isn’t doing good things for you. It’s messing around with your head like this. You have responsibilities for school, and you are endangering both of our education and freedom if you keep using this shit.”

“It's doing great things actually. If you tried some you’d understand”

“That is never fucking happening.” Tyler said authoritatively.

“You would really like being a pony I bet-” Oliver started

“If I could trust you to only use it while in the fucking dorm them maybe it would be okay with you to keep the fucking M4re, but you are straight up delusional right now. We need to get rid of it.”

Oliver screamed.

“Tyler no! We, we can do something else c’mon I need this. You don’t know how good this is for me.”

The little mare just wouldn’t shut up, and Tyler had already spent his patience. He spotted the bottle of M4re on Oliver’s desk and stepped forward reaching out for it. Oliver responded by jumping up against Tyler trying to push him back. His little pony body wasn’t much of an obstacle and Tyler easily pushed him away. He swiped the M4re and quickly turned around heading for the washroom. Oliver jumped forward at Tyler’s leg, biting down as hard as he could.

“FUCK,” Tyler exclaimed.

He dropped the bottle of M4re and the little blue pills spilled out all over the floor of Oliver’s room. With a hard kick Tyler sent Oliver flying backward into his bed frame.

“FUCKING JUNKIE. THIS ISN’T GOOD FOR YOU YOU LITTLE SHIT”

Oliver could barely hear Tyler’s screaming over the ringing in his ears from the impact with the bedframe.

“YOU AREN’T A FUCKING PONY. YOU ARE A FUCKING WASTE OF LIFE. YOU CLEARLY CAN’T FUCKING-”

Tyler stopped as he felt blood trickling down his leg from the bite. His eyes went wide with rage.

“YOU FUCKING ANIMAL HOLY FUCK”

Tyler screamed while clutching at his leg, the pain of the bite really setting in.

“YOU- YOU FUCK. YOU USELESS FUCKING JUNKIE SHIT, FUUUUUUUUUCK”

Oliver crawled under his bed as his roommate continued screaming. Everything felt wrong and bad. He reeled in trying to process what had just happened.

Tyler is only acting this way because he doesn’t know what it’s like to be a pony

Oliver curled up and felt tears filling the corners of his eyes.

If Tyler could only try it once, he would understand everything

From under the bed Oliver watched as Tyler stomped out of the room.

He would understand that you are meant to be this

Tyler’s mutterings eventually faded.

He would know that you were both meant to be this

[email protected]

Hey there Seafoam!

I saw the video of you in the park with those two girls on youtube btw! It was very cute, and made me want to get out and stretch my hooves. Normally I stay cooped up in my apartment while ponified ^w^

After your last couple emails I asked around and a few other ponies have also experienced the speech symptoms you discussed. They all had used M4re more frequently than recommended or in higher dosages. It seems to be a later stage symptom. Moon told me it is something called “Equestrian” but she refuses to elaborate, as usual.

As for your specific questions on dosages you really shouldn’t use more than 5 or 6 pills at once, depending on your weight. The body can have difficulties re-manifesting. Speaking of extreme dosages, I was unable to contact the pony I told you about before, and with the increased fervor that the police are hunting down M4re distributors and users I am starting to fear the worst. For this reason I am going to urge you to lay low for the next few weeks and avoid going out in public.

Moon has been getting antsy. She says that the authorities are getting scared. I don’t know how she gets her information but she has never been wrong.

Take great care in these trying times, and may the Sisters protect.

-Glitter

Crash

The apartment dorm had been quiet the last couple of days. Oliver barely left his room, much less made it to class. Tyler didn’t bother trying to coax him out. No point in trying to help a lost cause. As a way to pacify Oliver he had agreed to simply hide the M4re in one of his locked drawers rather than throw it away. He was meeting with his “guy” later this week and could probably make back some cash by selling it back to him. Until then the keys to his room and the drawer never left his pocket. Tyler felt them jingle around in his pocket as he stepped into the kitchen. During a cram week it was nothing but ramen and canned soup.

As Tyler set the kettle to boil and pulled open the ramen package, Oliver’s door swung open, soon followed by a pair of beady sunken eyes. Oliver shambled out of his room and over to the kitchen, before pulling up a chair to the countertop. He did this all while avoiding Tyler’s gaze, which was transfixed on the top of his head. His hair had apparently struggled to return to its proper human form, and now hung down to his shoulders in messy seafoam coloured tresses.

“How’s the studying going?” Oliver asked in a groggy voice

“Well enough.” Tyler said

Tyler considered asking when was the last time Oliver had gone to class, but he decided against it when he suspected it would devolve into another argument about M4re. It seemed to be the only thing they talked about these days. Instead, he picked up another packet of ramen and offered it to his roommate.

“You want some?”

“Sure”

Tyler emptied the kettle into his bowl, dropped his brick of noodles inside, and then refilled it from the sink and set it to boil again. When he turned back to his ramen he pressed the noodles down with his fork, before stirring in the flavour packet. His mind strained to think of something to fill the awkward silence.

“So uhh…. I see that video of you behind our dorm went sort of viral. How does celebrity feel?”

Oliver shifted around and gave Tyler a strange look as he began to eat his ramen.

“Yeah um, all the online circles and stuff around that sort of thing see me as like… a folk hero? It became the new exciting thing to do when you are on M4re, go out and lure randos into giving you pets and stuff.”

Tyler couldn’t help but chortle a bit at that.

“What a bunch of adrenaline junkies. Does getting pet really feel that good that people are risking being out in public just for some action?”

“Well… yeah pretty much.”

Oliver paused for a moment and looked like he was considering saying something else. Tyler guessed he was probably weighing if he could proselytize the pony thing some more. He apparently decided it was not worth the trouble and instead just let the conversation peter off into silence. As the kettle began to boil again Oliver got up and fixed himself his own bowl of ramen. As the two of them ate Tyler’s initial anxiety over Oliver seemed to fade. He was always a strange sort of guy, those strange looks he was giving him were probably just a nervous tick or something. That’s how nervous ticks work right? Oh well, it didn’t matter.

Everything was going to be fine.

Woah woah what… something feels off

Tyler looked around, twisting his neck and trying to locate the source of the strange feeling. What probably should have been fear was softened into a docile curiosity.

“Do you feel that? It's so strange-”

Tyler felt his stomach drop as he turned and looked at Oliver. His eyes were locked on him, his mouth pulled into a wide smile. Tyler looked down at his bowl of ramen, almost completely empty, and then back at Oliver. His lungs began to race, fighting against the encroaching passivity the M4re was forcing on him. Oliver reached a hand forward, his eyes betraying what he had done.

“It’ll be okay, everything is okay Tyler, I promise.”

Tyler jerked backwards and swatted Oliver’s hand away. Terror too great for the drugs to smother shot through his body.

“GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME, W-WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO”

Oliver smiled warmly.

“You’ll understand now! Everything is going to be better in just a few minutes.”

His hands balling up into fists he strode forward ready to kill Oliver. The whelp scuttled backwards, realizing Tyler still had a few minutes to make him pay. Tyler’s knuckles were so tight it felt like they would break through his skin. The calmness of the M4re was mixing with the outpouring of rage into a clinical sort of detachment. Oliver was sputtering trying to convince Tyler not to hurt him. It only bolstered Tyler’s resolve.

He put his whole weight into a haymaker, and Oliver took it straight to his temple. He went limp and hit his head on the side of the counter before collapsing to the floor in a heap.

“YOU LIKE THAT YOU JUNKIE LITTLE SHIT?”

He knelt on top of Oliver’s chest and punched him in the face again. Blood came pouring out of Oliver’s nose. Tyler felt the sting on his knuckles and the impact of each hit traveled up his arm and into his shoulder. He landed a third and a fourth and a fifth hit. The back of Oliver’s head bounced off the tile underneath it from each strike. Blood coated Tyler’s hands. It was wet and warm, and left an imprint of his fist after each hit to Oliver’s face. He flailed his arms to try and block Tyler’s onslaught, but the first punch and drop had dazed him too much.

“DON’T - FUCKING - DRUG - PEOPLE”

Each word was followed with a punch. Tyler raised his hand for another, but stopped as he realized little embers were burning painlessly through the tips of his fingers. He yelped and fell backwards, watching as the first motes of flesh peeled off of his hands and floated upward on an unfelt breeze. Oliver rolled onto his side and groaned in pain. His eyes were almost swollen shut and he couldn’t hear anything above the blaring ringing in his ears, but he felt a sense of victory. He just had to wait for Tyler to finish transforming and then no one could stop him. This was his shot and it worked. Tyler had missed one of the M4re pills when he had combed through Oliver’s room cleaning them out. He coughed and felt a tooth come loose. He pulled it out with a wince and flicked it over on the ground. Soon everything would be fixed.

Tyler was panting in fear as his body slowly burned away. The exertion and adrenaline apparently overpowering the secondary calmness the M4re provided. Although he was slowing down as he clutched at his disintegrating body.

Hopefully he would be docile enough to enjoy the transformation after it was complete.

As Tyler burned away, Oliver felt the shock from the pummeling fade. He rose as fast as he could and walked to the front door of their apartment, careful to give the transforming Tyler as wide a berth as possible. He locked the door before pulling a chair over and jamming it under the doorknob. He brushed his long hair out of his face and turned back to Tyler.

His limbs were almost completely transformed, and the flicking embers of the transformation were now making their way into his chest. His coat was as white as fresh snow and his hair had grown into a beautiful pastel blue mane. Tyler it seemed was getting more and more resigned to the helpless situation, keeping his eyes shut and his face in a grimace, clearly wishing for it to be over. Oliver stepped forward, and retrieved Tyler’s jeans which had fallen off of his tiny pony frame. After digging through the pocket for a moment he retrieved the keychain. If Tyler noticed, he didn’t bother saying anything.

As Oliver unlocked and disappeared into his room, Tyler’s transformation crept up his neck. With a horrifyingly feminine voice he begged for it to stop.

By the time Oliver reappeared with the bottle of M4re Tyler had fully completed his transformation. He laid on the ground exhausted. As Oliver grew closer Tyler shuddered and glared at his roommate.

“How could you do this to me?”

Oliver smiled before opening the bottle and swallowing a dozen of the pills.

“Nothing I wouldn’t do to myself.”

He set the bottle of M4re on the coffee table before sitting down on the couch, waiting for the effects to set in. Tyler felt disgust well up inside him alongside the anger already festering when he saw the look on Oliver’s face. There was no word for it other than contentment.

“You’re going to fucking jail for doing this-"

Tyler faltered for a moment at the sound of his own voice, but pushed through a moment later.

“-for doing this to me. You’ll be locked away for years.”

“For poisoning the drug dealer with his own product? Are you really going to try to pull that? You’ll be put away for longer than me when they find ketamine and molly in your room.”

Oliver’s voice was smug and self assured. How long had he been planning this, how long had he waited for an opportunity to fucking dose him? Tyler couldn’t tell. With nothing more to say Tyler curled up.

On the couch Oliver rolled his head around, starting to feel the onset of the M4re. He threw his head back and shuddered from the magnitude of the dose. The embers of the transformation were more like a ravenous fire, consuming his body in a matter of seconds. As his pony body came in he stretched out holding all his limbs erect. It had been so long since his last transformation it was really beginning to affect his mental state.

With a satisfied exhale Seafoam stood where Oliver had sat a moment previously. She stepped out of her pants and pulled her tee shirt off before stretching out her wings and savouring the sensations of her real body.

Thank the Sisters I’m back

Below her Tyler was struggling to sit upright, barely able to balance his upper body on his two front hooves. It was so cute watching him fumbling around with his new body.

Was I ever like that?

Seafoam gave a confident hop off of the couch and trotted around Tyler as he continued to wobble and shake. Tyler tried to keep his eyes on her but his body was too alien to follow through. She passed out of his line of sight and he felt his coat stand up on the back of his neck. It was as though his roommate was a predator circling injured prey. Considering the circumstances that analogy might be closer to reality than not. His body locked up as he felt a warm breath on his neck. A moment later and a shocking yet cruelly pleasurable sensation brushed along the side of his neck. A yelp of surprise and a moan of indulgence blurred together and Tyler felt his eyes cross. The circumstances and situation he was caught in melted away. The barely constrained rage forgotten. There was only an infinite “now” filled solely with pristine bliss.

Seafoam continued nuzzling into the neck of her roommate, thoroughly enjoying the sounds dribbling out of his mouth. As she began to speak she was careful to sound as warm and comforting as possible.

“This good feeling can go on for hours and hours. You don’t need to pull away from it, just try to absorb as much as you can.”

Tyler drew in a breath like he was about to say something, but threw his head back and exhaled a moment later, whatever the thought was having been promptly expunged. Seafoam laid a wing out over Tyler’s curled up body before laying down next to him and positioning herself just behind his head. She placed a hoof on his mane and gently scritched in circles. The tiny shudder which reverberated through Tyler’s body pushed her onward, making clear that it felt as good as she guessed it would.

The pure white coat was a beautiful contrast to her own colour scheme. Something about this appealed to an aesthetic taste Seafoam hadn’t noticed in herself before. Tyler’s left ear trembled for a moment, catching her eye.

Perhaps an involuntary reaction to the affection?

Seafoam leaned forward and dragged her tongue across the ear before playfully nipping at it. Tyler again shuddered and tried to mumble something, but nothing comprehensible made it out of his mouth.

Poor thing, she’s probably so wound up from all that unpleasantness earlier. She deserves to relax a little and indulge

“Awww doesn’t it feel so good? Who’s a good little pony, who’s a good little pony?”

The words felt as sweet as caramel as they trickled out of Seafoam’s mouth. She felt a strange pang of longing for someone to pull this whole routine on her. Perhaps in the future. For now she needed to focus on doing the best she could for her roommate.

Tyler was apparently at a loss for words as Seafoam performed her ministrations.

“C’mon, let that pretty voice of yours out a bit more. The little that I have heard of it is making me pretty jealous.”

Tyler murmured something quietly, but with her enhanced hearing Seafoam could make out the gist of it.

“Its… w-what is… w-where is this? Was… w-who are you?”

As she realized how frazzled the affection was making Tyler, Seafoam couldn’t help but giggle. This was going so much better than expected. She nestled her head right against Tyler’s, being sure to continue the onslaught of sensation.

“My name is Seafoam, I’m a mare just like you. It feels so great doesn’t it? I wanted you to know how amazing it felt firsthand, so that you could understand.”

The words slithered out between laboured panting. An energy was building up inside of the both of them, Seafoam could feel it. She shifted herself around and was surprised at the wetness behind her. From the smell it seemed Tyler was also feeling… roused.

“Let yourself relax okay, I’ll take care of everything~”

Seafoam felt herself being pushed onward by a wave of desire, crashing over her and into her, overpowering anything but the most immediate of impulses. Drunk with lust she couldn’t help but let a cute little moan work its way up her throat. She could feel Tyler leaning into her, seeking more from her hooves and mouth. Dutifully obliging her roommate she quickened her pace, licking and petting with a fervor unknown to her.

Tyler struggled for words.

“This… this is so… so good… Seafoam… Sea-”

Tyler’s whole body froze. He could feel his chest tightened into a vice, the pleasure and delirium of a moment prior being replaced with a paralyzing terror. He turned his head and met Seafoam’s eyes for the first time since the acts began.

“S-S-Seafoam”

He paused after saying the name. Inside his head associations finally connected and he snapped into lucidity. His eyes widening in disgust and horror he tried to push himself away from the thing eagerly nestling into his coat.

“Get- Get away from me Oliver.”

He said the name with venom, and felt his panic grow when Oliver had no visible reaction. Instead, Oliver was staring at him, keeping within a few feet of him as he desperately tried to drag himself away.

“You aren’t used to your body yet. Let me help you. Let's get you acquainted with yourself. It felt so good didn’t it? I know you want more, I can see it in you.”

Oliver’s pony eyes glittered with a frightful hunger.

“It’ll be so easy, I promise. I promise you it feels so good when you just give in.”

Tyler’s hooves clattered on the kitchen tile as he tried in vain to pull himself away from Oliver. He flailed his back legs out, trying to kick at Oliver as he followed just a foot away from him, trotting effortlessly.

“G-GET AWAY FROM ME OLIVER, STOP THIS SHIT RIGHT NOW.”

“My name is Seafoam.” She said as she pinned him to the ground with a hoof.

Tyler tried to buck at her as she pinned him, but there was no strength or coordination in his hooves. His helplessness only fully struck him when she stepped forward and pinned his two forelegs to the ground with her own. She lowered herself onto his chest before bringing her head down and nestling into his chest fluff. Tyler tried to push her off of him, but he could barely move. Tears began to form in the corners of his eyes as more of the sensations from before flooded back.

“P-please stop, g-get off me. Please, Seafoam.”

His voice crackled through the tears. Seafoam felt bad for her roommate, but assured herself she had to press onward, for his sake and for hers.

“It’ll get better I promise. You’ll have more fun if you stop struggling.”

With that she nestled into Tyler’s chest again, eagerly brushing and kissing his white coat. She shut her eyes and focused on the closeness. Now that she was on top of Tyler she could feel her teats pressing into his. It urged her onward, even as Tyler’s protestations grew more frantic.

“S-Seafoam I know that… I know that you-”

Each time Tyler tried to speak, he felt his body seize up from the sensations Seafoam was forcing onto him. He bit back the disgust welling up in his gut. Most of it wasn’t even directed at Seafoam, most of it was at himself for not being stronger.

“I know you, you’ve been- You YOU NEED TO GET OFF ME-”

Every little sensation of pleasure came with another bolt of horror and disgust at himself for feeling it. He tried to tell himself it was just the drugs.

“W-we are both men, we’re both guys you can’t do this we’re both straight-”

Seafoam cut him off.

“We’re both mares Tyler, Look at yourself. You’re a mare.”

Her voice was intoxicating. Tyler felt the floor fall out from under him as he realized the physical absence of his dick, and the wetness growing in its place.

“We were men, and we will be again as soon as this is over!”

Seafoam tilted her head, dragging her hoof across his chest as she spoke.

“Doesn’t that all feel so far away? So unimportant? Can you even remember what your human self looks like?”

He reached out and tried to push her off of him, but there was no strength in his hoof. As he helplessly pushed he felt his head roll backwards onto the floor, tears now coming unbidden. Pleasure was pouring in, stressing his fraying mental state way past its limits. He whimpered for Seafoam to stop. It was all he could do.

He’s still resisting, he needs something to kick him over the line

The weight of Seafoam’s body lessened and for a moment Tyler thought she was going to stop. When he felt what she was actually doing, his back involuntarily arched and his hips bucked up, smushing her face into his own marehood. Another lick and it was like he was being shocked with a defibrillator.

Seafoam pushed her muzzle into Tyler, her wide tongue lapping and caressing the soft folds of his vagina. It smelled like heaven to her. Over her own heavy breathing she could hear Tyler stuttering and failing to say anything coherent. Tyler’s new body had become quite excited in the minutes since his transformation, and it clearly craved more. As Seafoam worked, Tyler’s back legs locked around her head. She drifted away from any thoughts as her head bobbed in and out. Each lick was making such pretty sounds come from Tyler. After a minute or two of listening to Tyler unspool, she flicked his clit with her tongue before gently sucking on it.

Tyler’s entire body convulsed, his thighs forcing Seafoam’s muzzle deeper into him as the orgasm swept through his body. She continued lapping at his folds, the sensations all melting alongside her own inhibitions.

Heaven, this was heaven. If Moon and Glitter were right about things then this must-

Her head shot back half a foot, and her neck reeled from… the impact?

W-what just happened?

A heavy pain began to soak its way through her face. Her mind raced to piece together what had happened through the haze. The sight in front of her finally came into focus and she realized what had happened. Tyler’s right hoof was fully pulled back, coiled like a snake about to lunge forward. He was now pulling the rest of himself against the wall, as far from Seafoam as he could manage. She opened her mouth to say something but he cut her off.

“You are g-going to back away from me, and never fucking touch me again.”

Why didn’t… w-why didn’t it work? It should have worked

Tyler repeated himself, his voice growing colder.

“You are going to back away from me. Never, ever touch me again.”

It should have worked why… It… It would have worked-

Seafoam stumbled backwards. She didn’t notice, but she slipped out of english and into singsong “equestrian”.

“I.. w-wasn’t .. didn’t you like… I… I’m w-what is-”

It would have worked on me

Tyler stared daggers at the rapist in front of him. He was thinking nothing save for a blistering hate for it. His breathing had slowed to a steady pace, and he kept his back hoof poised, ready to deliver another buck to the face.

He’s not like you, he never was

The world around them grew silent, and the sound of the two ponies breathing wasn’t enough to blot out the terrible ringing in both of their heads.

They will take you away, put you in jail

The thing which used to be Oliver grimaced, then shook its head and trotted back to the living room coffee table. It was muttering something to itself that Tyler couldn’t make out.

You deserve it you monster

Tyler lowered his hoof to the ground and wiped the dried tears from his coat. It seemed it was over. He eased his immediate rage with the knowledge Oliver was going to end up in the back of a cruiser the moment the drugs wore off. Prisons aren’t kind to rapists, especially soft weak pathetic faggot ponyfucker… assuming he didn’t just hang himself the first chance he got. With a clumsy brush of a hoof he pulled the sweat and tear soaked mane away from his face. Everything had been getting harder and harder to keep under control. He had managed to get into university, maybe it was time to swear off dealing. Too many sob stories, too many complications. And every once in a while a junkie would go ahead and just try to take his head off, or pin him to the ground and eat his pussy out.

Tyler held his head in his hooves as he tried to think of anything else other than what just happened. He felt cold. Physically cold on the inside. It was creeping up his gut and through his chest, like a hole had just been opened up inside and was eating away at him. His pulse thundered through his head and the back of his eyes. He just wanted to wake up in his bed and find out the last couple of weeks had been a nightmare. It was such a bad idea to try dealing with M4re. Never again.

Suddenly an ear splitting hiss filled the room. Tyler recoiled and a bright red light bathed the entire apartment in a malevolent glow. He scooted his pony body over a few feet and found the source. Oliver’s body was burning like a road flare. Next to him the M4re bottle was on the floor, empty. From the burning form Tyler thought he could hear a high pitched screech. The ignition wasn’t burning Oliver’s pony body but rather something invisible around it. Something inside of Tyler could tell what was happening had a thread of finality to it. At the very least, it looked extremely painful.

Seafoam stirred from unconsciousness somewhere dark and cold. There was a pressure on the back of her neck, and a swaying of her whole body. She couldn’t remember where she was, or what was happening. The last thing she could recall was a terrible red light.

As her eyes began to adapt to the dark she realized she was being carried along a dimly lit street. She struggled a bit, but her hooves couldn’t reach the ground or behind her to whatever was holding her. A strange exhaustion was sapping her energy even if they could have. A gruff voice she recalled hearing somewhere before cut through the brisk night air.

“Don’t bother trying anything, the overdose really did a number on you.”

She tried to raise her voice to ask the man something but her voice crackled without producing more than a murmur. Her eyelids felt so heavy. She could probably go limp and fall back into unconsciousness even while being carried. The man continued walking for a few minutes before stopping at a street corner. He pulled out a phone and dialed a short number. Seafoam couldn’t hear what he was saying. After speaking for less than a minute he put his phone back into his pocket.

“You really should not try to move, just conserve your energy until the ambulance gets here. Wherever you end up, never come back.”

With that, Seafoam felt herself swing briefly in one direction, before being thrown in the opposite. She clattered and slid across the sidewalk until she came to a stop against the side of a building. Her eyes struggled to get a good look at the man who threw her before he disappeared out of her view.

W-where am I, what is… why is it so cold

Seafoam curled into a ball. Warmth bled off her into the cold ground below. She stared at the light from the convenience store across the street, even as her vision faded. Every breath drew in more of the frigid air from the night. She felt a final spike of panicked energy shoot through her and she called out into the night.

“Help, s-someone help please.”

Oh Celestia please I just need… I just need some warmth

Snot and tears froze against her face as she tried to summon up enough energy to call out again, but the cold ground beneath her was paralyzing. Her head went limp as the energy to hold it up drained out of her. Her eyes drooped shut and the world grew silent, save for the distant blaring of a siren.