Ponyville / The Crew / Saturday 11:00 AM

Well, it's been a week since our return to Equestria, and we're already being dragged around the place, literally.

"Oh! Oh! This is my new night club! I used some of your money Drew. I hope you're not mad." Pinkie was dragging me by the collar of my shirt, choking me violently as she gave us the new and improved tour of Ponyville.

"Don't worry Pinkie. I can make more." I said, it's not like I risk my life almost all the time to make that type of cash, oh wait, I do. It was for a good cause, Vinyl's Nightclub across the street was getting run down after two years, and now Pinkie had a new one built to replace the old. She then dragged me over to a workshop? I guess workshops are getting more popular in Equestria, they needed them too. I went inside the workshop to see ponies everywhere, building stuff for their own use. I saw somepony over to the right making a toy for his little colt, so cute. She then dragged me to old Sugarcube Corner, hasn't changed a bit.

"Hey Pinkie? Do you mind if I borrow Drew for a bit?" Jhon said, Pinkie nodded and dropped me on my ass, and I gave out a groan as I got up.

"Damn, Pinkie's like 2 times stronger than Kaptn!" I exclaimed, Jhon seemed worried, in which he's almost never worried about anything.

"Hey Drew? Princess Celestia has called for our presence tomorrow morning. They say they need you, but I don't know what for." He gave me a closed envelope, I opened and read it outloud.

"Dear Drew, please come to Canterlot Castle for an important matchmaking. Prince Blueblood has assembled a team that he thinks can take on your team. If you accept, please meet us in the courtyard tomorrow morning, the rules are, melee weapons only, and no projectile based weapons." I finished, Prince Blueblood wants his ass to get handed to him? Okay I'm in, I had an extra pair of brass knuckles that needed some breaking in anyway. I then went home to tell The Crew about it.

"Prince Blueblood challenged you to a duel? It's gonna be funny when he gets his flank handed to him." Rainbow said, I knew it was going to be funny too. I then went outside for the umpteenth time and took a long walk in the cool night air, not giving a fuck about me having to wake up early. I then made my way towards the park, where I heard music coming from. Turns out it was Lyra, playing all alone, in the middle of the park, until I decided to pay her a visit.

"Hey Lyr-" I startled her and she jumped, hitting me with a nearby stick on the ground.

"Lyra! *whack!* it's *whack!* just *whack* me!" I managed to say in between hits.

"Oh, sorry Drew! Don't sneak up on me like that!" She scolded, I just chuckled as I sat down next to her.

"I see, you play at night." I trailed off, she nodded.

"Yep! It helps me calm down." She said, "Ahh, okay." I replied.

"Hey Lyra? You want to come with me to Pinkie's Nightclub?" I asked, her eyes widened.

"Do I? Hay yeah! I thought it won't be open to the public for the next few days?" She asked, I just chuckled.

"Not when you're invited there by a member of the band that's going to play there when it opens." I said, she forgotten that I was in a band, Pinkie said that The Crew was always welcomed there and could bring up to two friends each. I then dragged her over to Pinkie's new Nightclub, to see that The Crew, Rainbow, Twilight, and surprisingly the princesses are already here.

"Why hello Drew. Fancy seeing you here." Princess Celestia said, I just chuckled and went over and talked to Pinkie.

"You ready for tonight Pinkie? I promised to sing a song or two for your new nightclub." I said, doing a soundcheck. The rest of The Crew walked on stage to see the crowd of ponies that Pinkie had invited for her private party. I then started to sing this one.

Hey baby won't you look my way
I can be your new addiction
Hey baby what you gotta say?
All you're giving me is fiction

I'm a sorry sucker and this happens all the time
I found out that everybody talks
Everybody talks, everybody talks

It started with a whisper
And that was when I kissed her
And then she made my lips hurt
I could hear the chitchat
Take me to your love shack
Mamas always gotta backtrack
When everybody talks back

Hey honey you could be my drug
You could be my new prescription
Too much could be an overdose
All this trash talk make me itching

Oh my my shit
Everybody talks, everybody talks
Everybody talks too much

It started with a whisper
And that was when I kissed her
And then she made my lips hurt
I could hear the chitchat
Take me to your love shack
Mamas always gotta backtrack
When everybody talks back

Never thought I'd live to see the day
When everybody's words got in the way

Hey sugar show me all your love
All you're giving me is friction
Hey sugar what you gotta say?

It started with a whisper
And that was when I kissed her
And then she made my lips hurt
I could hear the chitchat
Take me to your love shack
Mamas always gotta backtrack
When everybody talks back

Everybody talks
Everybody talks
Everybody talks
Everybody talks
Everybody talks
Everybody talks... back

It started with a whisper (everybody talks, everybody talks)
And that was when I kissed her (everybody talks, everybody talks)

Everybody talks
Everybody talks... back

The crowd started to cheer at our success, even the princesses were amazed, I think they've forgotten how good we really are. We then stepped down to go sit with the girls, going towards the V.I.P. area where everypony was hanging out.

"I hoped you liked it!" I cheered, everypony came over to congratulate us on our return performance.

"I say Drew, I forgot how good you are at the vocals." Luna exclaimed, taking a shot of her own moonshine. I took some moonshine as well, Pinkie's bartender looked at Luna and I like we were crazy.

Once I went outside to get a breath of fresh air, I looked over to see Colgate being mugged, by a stranger that I never saw before.

"Give me the money!" He demanded, but Colgate wouldn't just give up that easily.

"No!" She bucked him in the chest, but the stallion just got right back up. I had to intervene or else Colgate could've gotten hurt. I then put the mugger into a choke hold, suffocating him until he blacked out.

"You okay Colgate?" I asked, she nodded.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" She hugged me, these ponies still hug too much for my comfort, I'm still trying to get used to Rainbow hugging me.

"Now, go home before somepony else tries to mug you." I instructed her, she winked at me and left for her home. I was then whistling to 'Jingle, Jangle, Jingle' while I was walking home. Turns out I wasn't alone, Princess Luna, in her drunk self, was following me, I could smell the alcohol a mile away.

"Come out Luna! I know you're here!" She then appeared in front of my face, making me jump back and fall on my ass. I know she was drunk because she was trying to make her move on me.

"I'm sorry Luna, I love you too, but more like a mom than a girlfriend." I admitted.

"Oh come on Drew, you know you want me." She brushed up against me, which made me cringe.

"Uhmm, no I don't?" I said, this was getting really awkward really fast. I then made a run for my house, locking the door to my room. Too bad I forgot Princess Luna can teleport.

"Gah! Uh, hey Princess Luna, hehe. I think I'll be running away now." I then turned into an Alicorn and teleported out of my room, trying to contact Princess Celestia through headset, ever since she found it she's been using it like a bluetooth.

"Uhm, hey Princess Celestia. Why am I calling you this late? Princess Luna is sexually harassing me that's why I'm calling you, okay, okay. Thank you, goodbye." I hung up, and all of a sudden Princess Luna tackled me to the ground. Luckily just in time her older sister came to the rescue.

"Princess Luna! Don't you dare try and rape him!" She scolded her, luckily Princess Luna was drunk so she wouldn't remember anything. As soon as I looked over to Princess Celestia, I noticed a deep red flush on her cheeks as well.

"Oh, for the LOVE OF GOD!" I then pulled a flashbang on them, this was wasn't potent enough to blind and deafen them, but just on a minor case. In an instant I was gone. I then had to try and get Shiny on the line.

"Shiny, the princesses are drunk and they're trying to rape me." I was straight to the point, I had no time left. Shiny then teleported out of nowhere and threw a bottle at their feet, releasing a pink gas.

"*cough* What happened? *cough*" Princess Luna groaned.

"I hate to break it to you Princess Lu-" I then nudged him in the shoulder, telling him to make up a story.

"You were having a tickle fight with your sister and both of you hit your heads on Drew's basement door." I was laughing at how terrible his made up story was, both princesses looked at me, then each other, and started giggling.

"Whew, glad that's over." I wiped imaginary sweat from my head and headed my way up to my room, with Rainbow just waking up.

"What's going on?" She asked me, I kissed her and let out a chuckle.

"Oh, nothing. Just go to bed." I picked her up, she was already asleep in my arms. I placed her down next to me and I went to bed, hopefully no mare's gonna rape me in my sleep.

I then woke up to Rainbow wrapped around my waist, I tried my best not to wake her up while I moved her, but I failed.

"Good morning." I said, waking her up even more.

"Hey Drew." She replied, going back to sleep. I then went outside, still smelling of alcohol from last night *shiver*. I went to Sugarcube Corner to get some breakfast, I was starving, I hadn't eaten last night, I was too busy avoiding being raped by the princesses, but I won't hold that against them. I tend to forgive easily, as long as they aren't bad to start out, unlike changelings and diamond dogs and shit.

"Hey Drew! You here for some waffles?" I shook my head, asking for muffins, luckily Derpy didn't buy them all already. I then made my way to go eat outside to see Twilight and Jhon.

"Hey Drew, mind if we join you?" Jhon asked.

"Oh, not at all." I gestured towards the seats at my table.

"So, is there anything you want to tell me about last night? *snicker*" Oh god, how did they find out about last night?

"Noooo~" I extended the 'o' in my response. I then left the table in the middle of the awkward silence and went home, doing nothing the rest of the day. Until I felt like using some of that new technology the government gave us, I had new adaptable camouflage and tried to sneak up on Rainbow, who was in the living room.

"BOO!" I reappeared right in front of her, making her jump.

"That wasn't funny Drew." She pouted.

"Well, it was for me!" I burst out laughing, rofling all over the floor. I then gave her a peck on the cheek and went upstairs to take a well earned nap.