Rainbow Dash's Darling Dashing Account
My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic Fanfiction
Pony POV Series
OPTIONAL-CANON
By Alex Warlorn

Hello, darlings! I am Rainbow Dash, the one and only. I always dress in style, because I make the styles!

I have been Ponyville's fashion trendsetter for as far back as I can remember! Every day is a new dashing dress to design and a new hat to create! And my theme of rainbows never grows old, darling, unlike Minty and her obsession with green, and Pinkie Pie's, well, love of pink.

I am Ponyville's resident fashionista and our leading expert on rainbows darling!

'So-called expert?!' I never! I'll have you know that the ponies of Ponyville have always turned to me for anything dealing with rainbows! I'm not named Rainbow Dash for nothing darling!

Unicornia? Oh . . . heh-heh, oh yes, darling. Yes, I may be blushing a tiny bit! Maybe I didn't know quite as much about rainbows as I thought I did. But I certainly was the most knowledgable about them in Ponyville! The unicorns . . . just happened to know more than me.

Maybe I was slightly humbled by our adventure with the 'runaway rainbow.' When that wild little imp of a Rainbow Crystal Princess first showed up here, she gave us all a merry chase through half of Ponyville! Then Princess Rarity got herself (and more importantly me!) splattered with mud like a pig, I may have fainted. Then she said words I would come to dread 'Let's do it again!'

I barely got out the words 'Again, Darling?' and fainted.

Was I ever upset over losing my position of 'premier expert on rainbows darling?' I had so many more things to be upset about that it never crossed my mind! Of course I insisted on escorting the little filly back to her kingdom. If it had to do with rainbows it MUST have to do with Rainbow Dash!

Darlings I don't know whether to admire or pity Miss Cheerilee for taking care of the little fireball.

When I first met her I thought the only thing royal about Rarity was that she was a royal pain. What's with the giggling?

I never thought of myself as an athletic pony, traveling through fields, woods, and rivers was a new trial for me, after all, why would I ever leave Ponyville, darling? Why would anypony want to leave Ponyville, when you had everything you wanted anyway and so many friends to enjoy it with?

Losing my luggage was just the start of my troubles (seriously, I put thought, energy, and effort and time into everything I packed!). Then as we closed in on Unicornia, I awoke in the middle of the night to find a horrible fate had befallen me: My hair!

My hair, my mane and tail both, were losing their colors! And the colors of the rainbows were vanishing too! Yellow, blue, purple, were all gone! All that was left was pink! It was no longer a rainbow at all, darling!

What do you mean pink and purple aren't part of a rainbow? Don't be absurd. They've always been, darling! Surely you're not colorblind?!

Yes I lost the green in my mane too if you must know! Twist the knife, why don't you? Reduced to white and pink, my beautiful mane, it was horrible darling!

Thank goodness we found Miss Cheerilee's search party when we did! It was a race back to Unicornia! A year without rainbow is a year not worth living, darling! Why, our rainbow berries alone, would be completely inedible. Eat grass? What? Wherever did you get a silly idea like that, darling? We're ponies, not... some-animal-that-eats-grass!

And it was little spoiled Princess Rarity who insisted to try their rainbow spell one more time, when even Cheerilee darlings was thought we were simply too late, and she adverted 'the year without rainbows.' I was busy being happy my dashing mane was back as it should be.

Maybe I was more than slightly humbled by learning the unicorns were the creators of Ponyland's rainbows. Whenever my fellow ponies had asked me about rainbow origins, I'd always replied that there were simply 'things ponies are not meant to know.' After all, if they were meant to know it, I would have clearly known about it, especially if it had to do with rainbows, yes?

So I chose to take an extended stay in Unicornia. I knew no amount of learning could let me perform unicorn magic, but I had to learn anyway. If unicorn magic was the source of all rainbows, I had better educate myself on it. So Ponyville was made to endure my absence, endure the dry spell of no new dresses or any of my other masterpieces. I was certain my experiences would inspire me to even greater heights of genius when I returned.

I was made privy to Unicornia's Royal Ballroom. A giant room full of bouncing balls to be ridden across the country side in the noonday sun.

I can't say I didn't have fun. Princess Rarity was overjoyed to have me as a guest as did Cheerilee. Lovely unicorns both, made we wish had a chance to be friends in Ponyville and to have been foals together.

And maybe Princess Rarity taught me to loosen up a little. How she always made me laugh, darling! Amazing how a filly who could give mares heart attacks was able to make even rainy days smile!

...It's called a 'figure of speech,' darlings.

I returned home via Rarity's crystal carriage. Such inspiration I had; bubbling up inside me! It was a dashing trip indeed, darling! Then Skywishes make her laughable claim about flying ponies. Of course I told her how ridiculous it sounded.

It seems the world takes great pleasure in proving me wrong.

I cannot say pegasi are not beautiful, darling. They truly are majestic, I can truly see how Twinkle Twirl got so inspired by them. Christmas this year was certainly a new experience, with all the unicorns and Pegasi visiting Ponyville. They really added a dashing new flare to the holiday. And not only did it give me a new audience for my works, it gave me the challenge of making dresses and hats to for horned and winged bodies, which was delightful. The pegasus Starcatcher was especially delightful, she told me how I reminded her of her mother with my thirst for knowledge about rainbows. Her mother had...I honestly don't know what to call it... gone to sleep and never reawakened. What a tragic condition.

I'll confess, Minty is infamous throughout Ponyville as a klutz with a sprinkling of perfectionism. A combination for disaster if ever there was one. But no pony expected her to have the reckless courage to fly a balloon up to the North Pole to speak with Santa Claus personally. All because she didn't want anyone to know about our yearly candy cane light beacon to Santa Claus she had accidentally broken. Her quest also inspired (more like force) Thistle Whistle to face her cloud phobia.

Minty, Minty, Minty... that girl. But everything worked out for the best darling, and Minty I think grew a little.

It's strange darling, I've always thought of Ponyville as perfect, yet I can't say that I, Princess Rarity, and Minty haven't all become better from stepping outside Ponyville's borders. Funny, isn't it?

It's a shame ponies spend so much time naked. I know my dresses would get torn and dirty with all the roughhousing us ponies love to do, but all the same... Excuse me, please, but what was that bizarre word you just used? 'Munn-knee?'

Oh you should have seen the adorable dresses I made for the Breezies! When they do wear dresses they're usually made out of flower petals, leaves, and other such things you'd find in a garden, which makes sense for our dashing little fairy pony friends. Easily-acquired material, but hardly long-lasting. Doll clothes? Don't be absurd, darling, my friends warrant more effort than simply yanking clothing off the bodies of toys. Besides, where's the fun in that? MAKING dresses helps personalize it, in a wonderful one-of-a-kind way! Zipzee was overjoyed when I present to her with her little dress. She could finally wear something that wouldn't make her sneeze across the room. The little Breezie loves the smell of flowers, but the poor dear is allergic to pollen. Rather ironic since she and her two friends Tra La La and Tiddywink live in a flower. Perhaps they should consider moving to a mushroom or tree trunk.

My bed? Oh isn't it lovely, darlings? It's simply dashing! The floating clouds are so snug and the rainbow arcs are beautiful! How does it work? I dare say, I don't know, darling. It just does. I think it's like those dancing shoes of Starsong Melody's which seem to have a mind of their own. Anytime music plays, they run out of hiding to dance on the floor, whenever Starsong isn't wearing them herself. Hm? Well, what does it matter HOW it works as long as it DOES? Do you need to understand the magic behind how drinking straws work, in order to drink a milkshake? No, I don't know where the shoes came from. Why should I?

I vaguely remember once, I can't remember when, seeing the pegasus fly and prancing on the clouds and thinking how comfy they must be. I suppose it must have some unicorn magic too it, since rainbows are their creation.

My Special Day this year was dashing, darlings! Being told I had gotten a box from France was a bit of a dirty trick, but it harmed nothing and the surprise made it more than worth it! Being reminded of all the accomplishments and all the good I had done that year made it so rewarding, darlings!

Every day is a new day. Every day is a new chance to be happy. Why, thank you for the hug, darling.

(Interviewer's Notes (Earth Pony): You're welcome. )

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): She's a good hugger.)

Heh. You remind of Scootaloo darling. Once, when we were fillies, our sweet unicorn friend, Sweetie Belle, invited us over her house. Scootaloo bragged so much about being a dashing 'good knocker.' I didn't think it was anything too special, but Scootaloo was the second youngest of our little herd back then, so we let her have her moment.

Wait...
...Sweetie Belle?

When we met Princess Rarity, that was the FIRST unicorn any of us in Ponyville had ever seen. And I was grown up at that time. So why do I remember having a unicorn friend as a filly? And why do I remember saying 'Unicorns belong in Unicornia' when we were barely out of diapers?

Pre-justice? I'm afraid I'm unfamiliar with that word.

...

...
...THAT'S what it means?! NO! I'm not prejusticed, That's absurd! Why would any pony anywhere ever think such a thing? That is a very poor joke, darling, I am sad to say. I was jealous of Sweetie stealing the spotlight from me when I was having a pretend fashion show with my friends, it had nothing to do with her being a unicorn, now please stop with that bad joke of yours, it wasn't funny the first time! I just remember her coming down from the sky from when two rainbows after a rainstorm crossed when we were all so small.

...But that makes no sense...

...I mean, we had no idea where or what Unicornia was at that point in our childhood! Yet, I remember Sweetie, clear as crystal, growing up with the seven of us. You should have seen Ponyville in those days, we really had a taste for having Ponyville look delicious, darling. Gum ball machines, ice cream cones, it was like a theme park we all LIVED in! The seven of us, Pinkie Pie, myself, Toola-Roola, Starsong Melody, Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, and Cheerilee.

Ugh. No. Please. Not again.

Cheerilee was, is, ugh, Princess Rarity's teacher and caretaker, we met her for the first time... in the forest. A unicorn, just like her student.

But I remember her as a hornless Earth pony filly in Ponyville, wearing her hair in the most adorable pigtails you've ever seen!

And I remember her for being a popular storyteller here in Ponyville, darling, just like Storybelle and Cotton Candy. And I remember her being Scootaloo's big sister! And during one Winter Wishes Festival, they...

...Win-ter Wish-es...?

No! No! Think, Rainbow Dash! Stay calm! Winter Wishes DOESN'T replace Christmas! It doesn't! Just-just both happen DURING winter!

I... don't think I want you around me anymore. I'm very sorry, but I think I want to go inside, shut the door, sit quietly in a chair, put on some music and just think about how lovely the melody sounds. And NOTHING ELSE.

...

...

No. Stop. No more. Enough of your questions, please! Don't you see what they're doing to me?! The more I remember... the more confused I grow... the more it all unravels inside!

...

I SAID STOP!!! Please! I don't want any more of your intrusive prying! My mind is a sheet of thin ice... and you're trampling all over it!

That's it, Rainbow Dash, you're not... what's that word? Cra-zee? No, no, you're not that thing. Calm. Stay calm.

No! Wait! Don't leave me! Maybe we can all attend that concert Starsong Melody is having, yes, that'll calm my nerves. we'll all have a dashing time!

...Starsong...

...Starsong was with us as a filly. But her wings...
...she was the same size I was as a filly... but she had INSECT wings, like the Breezies. No, BUTTERFLY wings...
...Not the feathered PEGASUS wings she now has an an adult...
...What day did her wings change?

Darlings, please help me. This doesn't make sense. Why wouldn't I remember Starsong's wings changing? Why are so many of my memories contradicting themselves?!

I land on my side and curl up on the floor of my shop and hug one of my dresses like a security blanket. Yes, it's real, it's solid, I made it with my own four hooves, it exists. I'm not 'craz-zee.' Maybe I should talk with the others? Will they think I'm crazy? No, that's absurd, when Sky Wishes spoke with us about pegasi we weren't ... what's a word for 'not nice?'

I now remember Twinkle Wish, a small wishing star who awoke once a year to grant wishes to Ponvyille.

But I remember NOT remembering. I feel sick, darlings.

But I remember going to rescue her from the dragon Whimsey Weatherbe as fillies, and Pinkie Pie bonding with Toola-Roola, helping our little artist facing her fear of the dark. Weatherbe, I haven't thought of that dragoness in years. I still remember the song sung to her by the five of us (Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle covering our flanks back in Ponyville). Explaining to her that having nice things wasn't the key to having friends, and that having common interests was only the start of a friendship, using for example how I'd paint my hooves and Toola-Roola her canvas, but it was a pony who'd be there for you that made actual friends.

Weatherbe was never actually wicked, just lonely, thoughtless, and her tastes were rather tacky darling.

Heh. Back then I had my mane up in a ponytail that I somehow thought looked good. Well, I made it look good all the same.

But why did we never visit each other later? I promised her that we'd visit her again when she was afraid if she let... us or something go, that we'd never come back. And why would we never introduce Spike and Weatherbe to each other?
They're both dragons! Dragons are very, very rare! Surely it would've been nice for two members of the same species to chat!

It makes no sense darling. Please tell me Pinkie Pie knew what a dragon was when they first met please.

I've flown in a balloon looking for a lost friend with every other mare in Ponyville.

I've journeyed up a mountain through the night, enduring dreadful and unpredictable weather to get back a wishing star.
I've traveled the country side with a princess who doesn't understand the concept of 'danger.'
And I am scared.
This fear is new. A creeping, invisible mist, drawing closer no matter how fast you run. I don't know how to describe it. Please darlings, help me...Please...

(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn): Rainbow Dash? We want you to know, whatever you remember or don't remember, whatever you become or cease to be: you are beautiful.)

Thank you, darlings. My friends. This fear. MY SHOP! MY DRESSES! Why is everything faded?! My mane! My mane! Is it still... oh thank goodness. Still there. Seems ponies are not effected by... whatever this is.

Maybe I should just stay indoors and... and protect my dresses until this all blows over. But... something...searches...

...I HAVE to find my friends. I put on my hat and scarf (my own design) and away I go! I am not going to let some silly vague case of goosebumps stop me! Someone should do something about this absurd grayness everywhere! Some solution will turn up, something will happen, everything will turn out alright, it always has, and always shall! We pull through even when things look hopeless! Especially when things look hopeless!

How quite Ponyville is. I see and hear other ponies. Some are speaking in fearful and confused tones to each other. Others are shouting. Others seem blind to the wrongness around them. And it's all so, muted, hushed, like the sky has pressed it all under a thick blanket.

Eh? 'Who are my friends?' This is Ponyville, darlings. All the ponies who aren't dear friends of mine, that would be the SHORTER list. Not a stranger to be found here! How, how did I meet my friends?

I've, I've never thought about it before. We've always simply BEEN there for each other, like the sun and the moon. It's simply natural for us to be all together.

We're like pearls in a necklace.
We exist as a set.

Take Minty and Pinkie Pie. I swear those two used to be joined at the hip. But then Minty began to do things more on her own, and Pinkie Pie hung out with our little group. But they're still friends even if they don't see each other every day. And Minty's many hobbies keep that mare occupied. She stops by my shop regularly to add to her sock collection. She knows socks the way I know rainbows, erm, fashion. I've hung out with her last Christmas, and I can't say I didn't have fun dancing with her.

Pinkie Pie could use some more glamour and refinement if she wants to be the town's most popular pony. She'd be simply dashing! But Pinkie insists that she doesn't want to be the prettiest, for her, it's enough just being everyone's best friend.

Scootaloo is our resident sports girl. If it has to do with competition and athletics, she's into it. Her sports party was one of the times I actually enjoyed participating in sports, myself! Who'd have thought Starsong would be so skilled driving go-karts? Not half at surprising as Cheerilee wining the skateboarding event. Our artist mare was the only one of us who didn't get tied up in our own jump rope. Sweetie Belle was our hopscotch champ. I was the best runner, for the record.

Since each of us won an event, we chose to give the trophy to Scootaloo herself. Another lovely little full-group tie! Every pony an equal winner!

None of us ever mind. Fun and games are their own reward, and that's what really counts, right?

But... why do I remember my voice sounding so different at that party darling?

Wysteria loves her flowers and her gardening. Just don't let her see any weeds, she almost hyperventilates at the sight of one. I use her flowers in my dresses when she lets me. She's also the reason I'm now a princess. Oh! Tee-hee. Yes, as a matter of fact, I am Princess Rainbow Dash. You see, Wysteria was so sick of being treated differently after Spike made her Princess of Ponyville that she declared everyone a princess! Though Wysteria is still the only Princess Spike wishes to serve.

Of course I'm not kidding about this! I repeat: by royal decree, all the residents of Ponyville are ALL equally Princesses!

Oh what a fun couple of days THOSE were! All of us, strutting around the town square in our finest dresses and homemade tiaras, some of us speaking in 'ye olden tongue:'

"Good morrow to thee, Princess Scootaloo! How doth ye fare in yon glorious kingdom of Scootaloonia?"

But it was around the time where we were all trying to build palaces for ourselves that the excitement ended. Architecture is so HARD and TIME-CONSUMING... and a town of all princesses and no servants, no one is willing to dirty their hooves, and nothing really gets done! Wysteria had her own giggle at that one.

I think we all came to realize that it's much easier to wash a dress, sweep your floors and tend to your gardening when you DON'T think of yourself as a princess. We're such smart ponies!

Sparkleworks? She keeps to herself half the time except when with Sunny Daze. Whenever I make a dress for her she insists there be sparkles, sparkles and more sparkles. At least we can always compromise and have rainbow sparkles. I'll admit I feel a tinny tiny bit of uneasiness whenever her birthday comes around, ever since that one year where she painted the entire town in sparkles. Razzaroo is still getting sparkles out of her hair. I'm still getting sparkles out of my dresses. Sparkles do not go with everything, darling.

Sunny Daze... she's... lively... she... enjoys the surf... goes to the beach, lake, any body of water... whenever the sun is shining. She is... quite physical, must be why she enjoys time with Scootaloo, though they're private competitions. And uh... she's nice? Most of the time? She's very confident? Yes she's a friend. We all worked together on Kimono's birthday present. She's just, not precisely the kind of pony who enjoys dressing up as much as I do.

Kimono, what is there to say? She is the wisest pony in Ponyland and nothing will ever change that. Well, maybe we did begin going to Spike more since he lived in the castle, and it's such a TREK from town to Kimono's cave. I think Kimono enjoys her privacy. She loves to write poetry. I've listened to some of it.

Spike? Heh. He's quite cultured and knowledgable, if a little scatterbrained. He'll get his life-lessons, fairytales, and naggings from his mother all jumbled up when things don't go according to his expectations. Thankfully he doesn't let it overwhelm him. It's almost a shame he didn't share more of his 'how to be a lady' knowledge with more of Ponyville. No... I've never asked him what it was like a thousand years ago when he went to sleep.

It... never occurred to me to ask.

It just... never came up.
I... I am unbelievably not-curious about so many things, aren't I?

Rarity, oh sweet Princess Rarity. That filly! She began as the world's biggest headache when she dropped into Ponyville with the Breezies, but the change she underwent was incredible. From a filly who couldn't comprehend she was making everypony around her upset as she played in the mud, to a princess who wouldn't give up when others did, and make other ponies around her laugh instead of groan.

Star Catcher? For a mare of her beauty, I can't say I know her all that well. I swear, she is incredible to behold. I'm sure like any pegasi she must love her ice-cream.

Razzaroo is our records keeper and party, what...? What do you mean 'that's just dossier fluff?' What do you mean, you're not getting a clear sense of who these ponies are as people?'

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): What I mean is this, Rainbow Dash: it's all well and good for you to tell me "Sunny Daze goes to the beach a lot." But that barely says ANYTHING about her personality! You could build a ROBOT, and program IT to spend the majority of the day at the beach! So what separates Sunny Daze from a robot? How do you connect with her as a friend? What emotions drive her? Is she outgoing? Withdrawn? Passive? Assertive? Do you even care?)

Why, I never! These are my friends! I am their friends! I do care about them! My friendships are not shallow... they're not... Starsong Melody, do you know she was actually nervous about singing in public until Pinkie Pie brought her around?

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): Good to know! Everyone's nervous every now and then! What is Starsong like as a person?)

She has... a wonderful singing voice. She's nice and friendly. She's cheerful. She's always been cheerful...

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): Well, this is a step in the right direction, Rainbow Dash, but let's dig deeper. Robots can also be programmed to be friendly and nice. Among sentient organic beings, it's referred to as "politeness" and "common courtesy." Tell me more about her true character.)

I... I think she still likes to just sing to herself sometime, away from the crowds...

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): Rainbow Dash... I'm going to ask you this nice and slow: Can. You. Describe. The. Content. Of. Your. Friend's. Soul?)

She SINGS! That's her personality! That's her character! That's her soul! She SINGS! She sings for the exact same reason ALL singers sing!

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): If you believe that, princess, you need to listen to more songs. Singers DON'T all sing for the exact same reasons. Some sing for fame. Some sing to teach. Some to entertain. Some sing to depress. Some to inspire. Some songs are honest. Others are liars.)

What?!

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): What I'm trying to say is: singers aren't some identical, mass-produced commodity you pull off a factory's assembly line! No more than fashionistas are!)

This is making my head hurt.

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): If it's any consolation, Rainbow, it's making my head hurt too. *sigh* Look... I'm truly sorry about all this, please don't be upset with me. I promise I'm not out to pick on you. I'm just... trying to get you to dig deeper, but maybe this is the deepest we can dig. Please continue. Tell me what you can about your other friends.)

Sweetie Belle... her, how I met her, how long has she been in Ponyville... it's still causing me headaches, ugh... she's so sweet though. And she's a positively absolutely fantastic cook. But I... THAT was ONE TIME that all of us throwing in all our ideas together DID NOT work out! That cake was about as undashing as you can imagine! Sweetie Belle still took a taste of it herself, then let us... blech, a cook I am not! They say cooking is an art, and letting your imagination run free is a given... but whoever said that had never tried to bake a cake before! Sweetie loves to play games, that much I can remember, in particular with us. Those muffins she had as a reward for that riddle chase she sent us through in her house as a surprise when we were fillies were to die for! UGH! I don't care if it's conflicting! I don't care if it's confusing! She's a friend and a dear one, at that! She's the youngest of our little inner herd and she's wonderful! GOT IT?!

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): Got it.)

Sky Wishes, she's always verbally back pedaling when she trips over her own words, her head is always in the clouds, I never imagined there would be somebody there WAITING for her. She loved watching the sky as much she loved dancing with... dancing with... someone... Twinkle... something?

And... And Cheerilee ... I ... I remember when I stayed at Rainbow Crystal Castle. I remember on our way back to Ponyville, how Cheerilee and I both wished we'd could've grown up together and...

..and...

...and it DID happen, didn't it? We DID grow up together, didn't we?

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): It seems you did.)

I've... I've never thought about how our wishes ALWAYS come true... it's just the way things are... so why am I questioning it? I don't question the sun and the moon, so why am I questioning this?

Darlings?

I wander into Daffidazey's saloon: the Twist and Style Petal Parlor. I remember her telling me how she gave Spike his great makeover, cleaning off a thousand years of dirt and grime. I don't understand how dragons can be proud of such a thing as grime. Every festival saw her shop packed with ponies who wanted their manes to look their best. She's as much an artist with pony's hair as I am with my dresses. Do you like how she styled mine this week? I think it's rather lovely... I should thank... someone? Someone important. Someone I chatted with weekly after her shop closed for the day? Who... who am I trying to remember? This shop, it's empty empty of... everything, bare, hollow, empty. Gutted. I have to get out of here!!!

I rush out, over to Cotton Candy's café, named after herself. Cotton Candy is one of Ponyville's storytellers, but we let her hold the title of 'official storyteller' even if Story... Story... someone, and Cheerilee often tell more stories than her. She hears stories from ponies and she shares them with others. That takes a unique kind of pony who is willing to listen, who ponies TRUST to tell their stories without adding or subtracting to them.

And more likely than not, Sweetberry would be there. She spends a good deal of her time at Cotton Candy's, seeing it as a perfect place to work on her giant super-stacked layered cake. Other ponies like to see how long they'll last before toppling over. None of us hold it against her; she keeps trying and that's the important thing, darlings.

The café... why is it so empty? Everything is missing. Photos, names, an old coffee stain that ... someone no, Cotton, Cotton SOMETHING thought added personality to her counter! The supplies always kept on hand for when . . . . she wants to ... to work on her giant... why... I know there was somepony here I was looking for... why am I standing in this empty café? Why do I feel like... now... I don't know why I came here, or why I should have come to this empty place at all.

I stumble out, why do I feel sick, no, not sick, I feel confused, disconnected, things are missing. Ponies are missing, but I have no idea who. I step out of the ... building. The sky is gray, but is rippling. Like the sky was some still-wet painting, slowly being washed away under a faucet. Poor Toola-Roola, she's been scared of the dark even as a filly, a day with a worse dark than night can't be pleasant for her! She had us to give her strength when she had to face it before on our quest to get back... someone.

There are fewer ponies outside than before, and the ones I do recognize I don't recognize. Yes, I know that makes no sense! I see through a window and see Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo, both fillies again, bouncing on the bed. Oblivious to what's happening around them. I think I envy them. They're having a dashing good time as the world ends. Huh?! World ends?! Why would I think such things! But they're having such fun, maybe I shouldn't disturb them.

The more things change, the more I feel out of place, like I don't belong in my own hometown. I shake my head; these thoughts are insanity! This is just a scary nightmare like the one Pinkie Pie had that one time.

That's right... you have trouble remembering things in a dream, don't you? I don't look where I'm going, I trip and fall and hurt myself. ... You don't feel pain in a dream.

Puzzlemint! Making sense of nonsense and unraveling mysteries is her special talent! Maybe she... who could what again?

There's the darling outdoor stage theater that belongs to Fiesta Flair and. . . was something there a moment ago?

I go back to the town square, now there were... shadows of ponies going about? But where were the ponies to cast the shadows? Were the pegasi playing a prank? But these shadows were flying, and walking and . . . I could make out details, you aren't supposed to be able to do that with shadows. Are they...what do you call them? Ghosts?

I dare look up at the sky again. More shadows. When they LOOK at me, it makes me shudder. It's like how I would look at a cake. Like they want to, eat me?

I feel sluggish, tired, my hooves are heavy, the air feels cold and thin, confusion is welling up inside me like bile. A sense of helplessness fills me, like trying to grab smoke. There's... an empty space between two houses? Is it a new park? No, it just seems empty.

"My house! Where did it go?! What's going on! Where are all the colors? Why is everything is faded? Peachy, can you tell me what's going on? Peachy? Peachy! Don't ignore me, please!"

It was chilling almost how silent and abandoned everything was. Peachy, herself was starting to look smaller, younger. Why wasn't I going to her? It was like there was a sheet of glass between my thoughts and actions. UGH! This is all making my head hurt.

I trotted around the vacant spot trying to see if there was something I missed, I bumped into somebody! Oh me, oh my! How embarrassing! Something as mundane as this felt surprisingly comforting darlings!

"Oh excuse me, darling, I didn't see you there, not dashing at all, I must say."

"Sorry, Rainbow Dash," The mare I'd bumped into was a pink pony with an orange-blond coat and dark pink mane. Her tail was blue, green, and violet. Her cutie mark was a painter's brush with spiral swirls coming from the tip.

She seemed to have come out of nowhere!

"Darling, have we met?"

"Rainbow Dash, that isn't funny! Since when do you tell bad jokes?!"

"Darling, I'm sorry! I really am, but have we met? I wasn't trying to be rude."

The mare looked like she was going to cry, "R-Rainbow! Of course we've met! Forever ago! What's wrong with you? Here, see?" She look out a photo and showed me.

I looked at the picture. Myself, Pinkie Pie, Starsong, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo (now fillies), and Cheerilee.

"So," I guessed, "You took our photograph?"

"Took it? Rainbow Dash I'm IN it!" She looked at the photo, and gasped in horror. "No . . . but-but-"

"Darling, are you feeling alright? You do seem to be acting a bit strange, what is your name?"

"Toola-Roola! Rainbow Dash, of course you know me!"

"I'm... I'm sorry, dear, I can't... really... remember you, but I can say I remember all my friends from our picture."

"No..." Toola-Roola whispered and ran off in blind fear.

"Darling, wait! It's not safe!" I called to her, though I didn't know precisely what was unsafe. I was starting to believe everything was.

I run after her, but she has a head start and fear pumping through her veins, and I'm not exactly an athlete. She's running for the edge of town. I lose sight of her. I keep going. What was her name? What was her name? Who was I chasing? Who was I chasing? Why am I running?

I slow down to a trot, confused. I reach the edge of town.

She... theater... mysteries... cafe... saloon... cakes... artist...

There was something important, no, somepony important that I had been following, she'd been a friend.

She... theater... mysteries... cafe... saloon... cakes... artist...

I reach the edge of town. There was something important, no, somepony important that I had been following, she'd been a friend.

It's like everything is just being stripped away.

Ponies I saw all around me were arguing and... not kissing and making up? They were walking away from each other in a huff? What? Arguments were all supposed to be settled with hugs and smiles! This is WRONG! This is a kind of worse-than-wrong! Whoever is doing this must . . . must be . . . what's the word? Not-nice? Not-good? But... that doesn't make sense, that's a worse-wrong. This has to be an accident, we'll come through! We have to come through! We will come through!

Some ponies vanish right before my eyes, and I instantly forget what they looked like or what their names were. All I can remember is that somepony WAS THERE!!!

Others, like Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle... I witness them transform into ponies I don't know. The world is filling with strangers.

I saw Zipzee, Tra La La, and Tiddywink fly above the town, the three Breezie ponies were in a panic. They were zipping every which way, too fast for me to even shout at them.

Breezie Blossom, Unicornia, Butterfly Island . . . will they be safe there? Yes. They have to be. Everything has to turn out alright.

I see Pinkie Pie and Starsong Melody, they're... face to face with the most ugly, garish, tasteless, tacky mishmash of random animals I've ever seen. Even life is supposed to have a sense of style to it, I know it's wrong to judge others based on appearances, darling, but I was totally stumped about how I could make a hat that looked good on this person.

I get a sense of comfort again from feeling like my normal sense, thinking of the oversized and daunting challenge of possibly making clothes that'll make THIS person look good. If... someone... could make Spike smell nice, then I could work with this.

Pinkie Pie and Starsong are speaking with him. I think it's a 'him.' 'Hims' are rare, indeed. I've never really seen any not-girls... outside of a couple insect and Spike.)

(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn): Rainbow Dash?)

W-what? You're back?

(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn): ...We never left. We're so very sorry about all of this. I just want you to know that.)

Oh...that's kind of you, darling.

(Interviewer's Notes (Earth Pony): We're sorry about what's happening to your world. And your friends. And YOU.)

Thank you. I do appreciate the sympathy.

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): Rainbow Dash... I want you to know that the content of your soul is truly one-of-a-kind. You're unlike any other fashionista I know.)

Why, I do believe that's the sweetest thing anyone's ever told me.

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): You deserve to know that you're... your life is about to head in a new direction.)

Judging by the state Ponyville's in, I'm afraid I'd have to agree with you.

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): Please! Let me finish! This is hard enough for me to say! Rainbow... normally, none of us could stomach letting ponies be... forced in a new way like this. I wish you both... both could... but you can't eat your cake and have it too, no more than you can travel east and west at the same time...)

(Interviewer's Notes (Earth Pony): You really are fun...b-but...)

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): The truth is we all WANT you to go in this new direction! We'd be devastated if you never did... if you remained unchanged! There! I said it! And I'm so sorry, you're already a good pony, it's so selfish...)

(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn): Stop hurting her!)

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): Right. I'm sorry. It's just... I couldn't bear to say anything patronizing like, 'There was no other way,' or 'It's for your own good.' Not to Rainbow Dash.)

Darling? This 'new direction' you speak of... is it towards the sort of place Ponyville's always been up until now? A place where I'd never have to feel any of the awful feelings I've felt today?

(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn): ...No. No, I CERTAINLY cannot claim that this will be the last time you'll ever feel pain... Rainbow Dash. There will be lots. I can only promise you just one thing: you will be MAGNIFICENT.)

...Magnificence sounds dashing.
Thanks for the hugs.
Huh? Why are you all backing away? Can't you at least point me towards the new direction...?

A shadow passed over me. This shadow... it was pegasus-shaped, I could see ALL its details... it raced at me towards me like a moth to the flame. The shadow lost its blackness: I could make out a blue-colored coat. Its... her cutie mark was two blue lightning bolts.

My hooves felt glued to the spot. I'm about to be eaten alive.

It stepped into me, no, she steps in the same space as me, like two pictures put up against a light.

"Dash it all! What is--" I gasped out, feeling more sick than ever.

My beautiful hat and scarf vanish, no, please, I worked hard on those. I see my beautiful tail and mane changing colors. And my cutie mark it . . . it becomes . . . the clouds ... f-fuse together... my arching rainbow twists down into a lightning bolt. I feel ... I lock eyes with Pinkie Pie, she looks so scared.

... what a lame-o crybaby! What is she even crying about?! Geeze. Huh? Where are my wings? Oh! There they are! Boy! It would be a total disaster if I lost these awesome babies! Ick! Am I out of shape or something? No, good, fit as a fiddle, if a fiddle was totally rocking and could blow away a crowd like I can! Ha!

What am I even doing here? Geeze this place is a disaster, I'm outta here! Out of my way, little bug ponies, the Queen of Awesome is in the house! Ya should consider it an honor to get brushed by me! Up in the air I go! Check out my totally cool radicalness! What you do mean it's supposed to be the other way around? No way! The Dash does it, so that's the way it is!

Out this Lamesville I go! I am Rain-bow Dash! The one and only!

No!

MAN! I feel like my head's gonna split in two!

I won't let you throw away my heart!!!

I bring my front hooves to my head and yell out in pain. I crash so hard and fast I go through several clouds.

My head is spinning, the sky is pitch black now, the world is gray, what the heck is wrong with me? The sky is now... falling apart? It's... ick! What's behind it? I don't wanna know! I go into a spiral! Where do I crash? No way! I don't crash! But my head is throbbing so I can't tell where I landed.

Pinkie Pie is not a crybaby! You take that back! My friends and Ponyville are positively and absolutely DASHING! Not 'lame!' You take it back!

My brain was on fire! What was wrong with me?!

They're MY FRIENDS! They're all precious darlings to me! No matter YOU say or think about them, they are all wonderful ponies! How dare you?!

These thoughts, these feelings, they're not mine, are they? I'm cover in sweat. Why is my breathing so heavy?

How can you just abandon them!? How can you be so selfish!?

Shut up! Shut up! Shutup!Shutup!

No! I won't! You can't make me!

"OH YES I CAN!" I begin banging my head against the ground, turns out I landed on a beach, dangit!

Go back. Turn around and go back. You are not leaving my friends to be... to be... ended!

"Can't make me... do... anything..." I panted. "I'm me, the only me, the only me that matter, the only me that's worthwhile!"

No... You're... Not! I'M still here, so WE are ME! And if you're me too, then my friends are yours as well! And if you're willing to just toss aside your friends, then... then you're not magnificent at all!

"AAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHHH!" I scream at the top of my lungs as I feel a hundred dams in my brain burst at once, drenching me, drowning me, dissolving me!

Smiling faces.
Parties and songs.
Every pony a princess! Pretty dresses... PRETTY DRESSES?! No! Oh no! You can't! You wouldn't! You can't...

It's wonderful to dress up. It's wonderful to look my best. There is nothing wrong with looking beautiful. It lets others know that we care enough about them to put effort into how we present ourselves.

I'm no froufrou showpony!

I am wonderful to look at.

Why, yes, I am. Totally. Just look at this bod of mine!

To be wonderful to look at is to be beautiful. Therefore I am beautiful.

W-wait-

Hm? Am I afraid?

Afraid? I'm not afraid of anything!

I am not afraid of anything. Therefore I am not afraid of being beautiful.

I'm not afraid of anything!

Therefore I am not afraid of being beautiful.

Totally.

Therefore, being beautiful, confident, and unafraid, I have no worries about being pretty and enjoying my prettiness. Because above all else, I am not afraid.

E-enjoy... being...pretty? But... you can't force me... I mean I can't force me... I'm... I'm so confused...

Gosh, I better go back to my friends. They need me. And others might need me. I would never abandon my friends. Only ugly and frightened ponies who should never be looked at would do a thing like that.

I... I would never abandon my friends.

I felt like my brain was coming together again...

I spread my wings and take off into the sky, speeding back to Ponyville.

But I found it empty. Either my friends were already gone, or those who remained didn't seem in danger of what was happening. Whatever was happening. Pinkie Pie, I promise I'll find you. I'll never abandon you or any other friend of mine again.

Everything is getting darker, blacker, I can't see that far away anymore. Even stuff that's up close seems to be lost in the darkness.

I sped towards the town of Breezie Blossom, the Breezie town was closer than Unicornia or the waterfall leading to Butterfly Island. Maybe there was somepony I could help there! Or at least I had to make sure there was nopony there to help!

The Breezies, are they there? There aren't as many as there should be. Something is wrong very wrong.

I see a pint-sized version of the beastie that'd been bullying Pinkie Pie. Not the same, he's made of different animal parts, but still ugly.

"I knew I missed some the first time, it won't hurt if I had just a little more fun with-"

The unmistakable sadism in his voice was all I needed to hear. I wasn't interested in the details right now! I rammed into him at full speed from behind! OW! That hurt my head! He spun several times in the air before stopping like he had brakes!

"OW! Owwwww.... Hey! Why you! Ya stupid horse! Yer gonna get it now you-"

"Come Along, Discordance, You've Dallied Long Enough Young Draconequus."

That booming voice came from everywhere and nowhere, and sounded like an stern big sister or parent... hard to tell.

"Uh-oh... FINE!" Little jerk looked ready to wet himself. "I have... uh, important work to do!" Then his hand shot out and clamped upon my head. "So I guess you get off easy this time, Little Miss Remade! Enjoy your all-expenses-paid trip to that wonderful place where souls-yet-to-be-born-go! But I'm gonna REMEMBER you, stupid horse! And the next time, I'll break you in two!"

I stuck out my tongue at him. "Ooooh, look at the badflank, I'm shaking in my little horseshoes."

"In-TWO!" He hissed, still rubbing at the sore spot on his head and suddenly, he was gone.

And suddenly, there was a jolt through my body I felt very tired, my eyelids were heavy, and my wings folded by themselves, all the world was dark, the world itself seemed to fade away, I didn't fall hard like I should have, I floated gently into Breezie Blossom, I need a nap, a nice nap, a long nap, yes... that... would be nice... I knew I'd see my friends again... and I'll never let them go again...someday... and it would be... magnificent...

+++

Night of Summer Sun Celebration

Man, just my luck. A flying team shows up out of nowhere and offers me to be their captain saying we can be THE best team in Equestria!...at the same time I'm trying to help save the world from Nightmare Moon. Why can't these things have better timing? They tell me how magnificent I am, like I NEED to be told that...huh, why does that seem so familiar?

Anyway, I tell her to hold on while I finish fixing the bridge-

"It's them or us!" spat their leader, landing right in front of me. Geeze, talk about pushy.

"Rainbow! What's taking so long?!" called Twilight from the other side of the bridge. She tries to say something else but I can't hear her anymore.

"Well?" the mare asks, looking down at me.

"You...Thank you," I said, giving a smile. "For the offer I mean."

I go and tie the rope bridge down really quick. "But I'm afraid I have to say no."

Really? Me? Betray everypony like that? I mean come on! Since when has Rainbow Dash EVER turned her back on somepony who was counting on her? Let alone my...my friend...

Yeah, I guess...I guess we are friends...It's so weird, we just really got to know each other today, except me and Fluttershy...but I feel like I've always known them...Hehe, oh well, we've got Nightmare Moon flank to kick, then maybe we can do something REALLY fun, I wonder if they like the Wonderbolts. Of course they like the Wonderbolts, who doesn't?

Well, whatever we do, I'm sure it'll be great. It'll be...

Magnificent