Pony POV Series Season Six: Dark World/Shining Armor

by Alex Warlorn

First published 9th of September, 2012

Twilight tries to remember herself after 1K years of chaos/Shining Armor awakes on his promotion day

The emotionless Twilight Tragedy has served Master Discord for a thousand years along with her fellow Elements of Chaos, handing out death to those who defy him. But, who was this one filly, who LAUGHED in the face of Master's chaos? Twilight Tragedy doesn't understand, she wants to know.
THERE IS LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL! This story SHALL have a happy ending!!!
-
Meanwhile, Shining Armor wakes up on the day of his promotion to captain of the royal guard, the day that Twilight is to be sent to Ponyville to prepare for the Summer Sun Celebration. Everything is normal. Everything is fine. Nothing confusing or otherworldly going on at all, nope, none. *Liarjack face*. Why does it take a second for ponies who remember who he is?

Cover art by Mystery Ezekude. http://mysteryezekude.deviantart.com/art/Pony-POV-Series-Dark-World-Shining-Armor-Cover-324097810

The Audio adaption Is here:
ORIGINAL fan-art, ORIGINAL fan-music and VOICE ACTORS galore await!

Recursive fanart and fan stories are here. http://alexwarlorn.deviantart.com/journal/MLP-FiM-Pony-POV-Series-Fanworks-audio-adaption-274110361 Many are rubber stamped by me as optional canon stories that reveal some of other sides of these stories.
Tropes page found here. http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/FanFic/PonyPOVSeries
Fan Labor Pages here http://mlpfanart.wikia.com/wiki/My_Little_Pony_Fan_Labor_Wiki:Workshop/Pony_POV_Series_Season_Zero:_Discorded_Ponies and here. http://mlpfanart.wikia.com/wiki/My_Little_Pony_Fan_Labor_Wiki:Workshop/Pony_POV_Series_Season_One:_Reharmonization

Also can be considered Season Zero Point Five.

Episode 67: (Dark World) History Lesson By Seaponies

"Once upon a time the world was ruled by rigid order and the law obsessed Alicorns, who had rules for everything and anything, to how ponies walked to how they breathed. They were jealous of us sea ponies and our music, for it was the one thing they could not create in their cold mechanical hearts. Their slaves questioned their almightiness if their masters could not produce music as beautiful as the sea-ponies.

"They debated between sending us to the moon, or drying up our ocean with the power of the sun they had enslaved. Finally they chose to curse us into big ugly hairy horned monsters called buffalo, while at the same time ensuring we would drown in our own ocean.

"But Master Discord, who loved our music, saved us by making the grim choice to remove our ocean so we, and our songs, might live. But he could not undo the curse the Alicorns had placed on us as long as the so-called 'Elements of Harmony' still functioned, named so to disguise their true purpose of imposing unyielding order upon innocent ponies."

"What did Alicorns look like?" Ask Waterflower.

Aqua-Marine grimaced. "They were absurd monsters, with Virgacorn horns, hippogriff wings, and the bodies of Earth ponies but all stretched out."

Waterflower belched. "They sound ugly."

"They were. But they insisted they were beautiful, and all that was beautiful was therefore ugly. But Master Discord fought against the massive army of Alicorns and single handedly and restored the Elements to their true forms and was able to break the curse. He granted us our new ocean floating in the sky, safe from those who would still seek us harm and ensuring the ground below was also another layer of defense from those who would destroy us in jealousy of our music. And that is why we constantly produce new songs in tribute to Master Discord."

The seaponies all cheered and clapped their flippers and fins. An ocean of snowflakes, no two alike. Some resembling sea-horses, others with countless fins, octopi, some looking like dolphins, but all beautiful, all innocent, all cheering Aqua-Marine's recount of their origins.

Random foals stuck their heads out of the water on the side to watch the cotton candy clouds fly by, sticking their tongues out for a quick taste of chocolate rain. Others floated on the surface lazily watching the sun and moon switch positions. While others watched ponies on the ground far below listen to their singing.

Their ocean in the sky, the mighty floating body of water Master had given them that would never be taken away from them by the Alicorns.

Little-Ocean-Heart and Sea Apple hugged each other smiling as their daughter Waterflower did loop-de-loops out the bottom of their ocean with reversed gravity pulling her back in without fail.

Episode 68: (Dark World) Apple Pie

I don't know how long it's been now. Master Discord sometimes messes with my perception of time. Sometimes it feels like eons, and others -if I didn't have clear memories of LiarJack's little sister growing up and dying of old age (after Scootaloo died as an adult mare defying master) I'd think it all happened yesterday. The Elements of Chaos seem to have rendered us immortal.

I'm informed by My Master that some foalish ponies in Ponyville are trying to practice magic. Duty calls. Time to show these little ponies that Magic Is Tragedy.

=======================

My Little Pony
My Little Pony

Evil laughter

(My Little Pony)

Their friendship was bright as can be

(My Little Pony)

That is until they met me.

Traitor Dash: Loyalties broken apart
Angry Pie : Anger has it's start
Rarigreed: A greedy heart so cold
Liarjack: Lying out loud and bold
Fluttercruel: Spreading cruelty all around
Twilight Tragedy: Hope no longer can be found...
Discord: Harmony can accept its defeat
Tragedy makes my victory complete!

Do you know, my Little Pony: Magic Is Tragedy

I have you My Little Pony
Don't you know? You're no longer very best friends.

==========================

Howdy! Ah ain't seen ya 'round these parts before! Ah'm Apple Pie! Welcome to Ponyville! We call it the 'Chaos Capital of Equestria.' It ain't nothin' fancy, just means Lord-Master-Conductor-Banana-Boss Discord likes to have fun here da most since it's right in view of his castle. He even has a big old throne set up in Town Square for when he comes ta town.

They say ya gotta be suicidal, crazy, or crazy like a fox to live here. It's big risk but big pay-off, on account of Discord's being' just as likely to turn ya into a dragon as turn the air in yer lungs inta cement.

Me? Naw! I live a bit yonder in Sweet Rock Acres over yonder. We can farm our rocks no matter what LMCBB Discord throws at us! Be it desert, mud, ice-cream storms or vampire kinkajous, but we manage.

I'm here smack dab in the middle of the town square right now to sell this year's harvest along with the rest of the rock farmers. Oh and um, maybe learn a little magic on the side maybe.

Just don't be confusing me with that mean ol' Angry Pie! Sure, we have the same last name, but Ah ain't no maniac! If she's any part of mah family, she's the red sheep! The Apples and Pies are proud and we ain't gonna change our names to spite some Discordiac!

Angry Pie... she and those other five ain't got no proper fancy-like title, like 'Duchess' or 'Baroness' or 'Ultrazord' that Lord-Master-Conductor-Banana-Boss Discord is always bestowing' on every street sweeper and interestin'-shaped rock he happens upon. They're his six. The Elements of Chaos.

And... speak o' the devil... oh crud! It's THEM! They're HERE!

Puella, Caster, yer Virgacorns! They'll be after ya! Run for it!

A few yards away from where Ah stand... Rarigreed rips rocks outta the ground and forms 'em inta pony shapes. "Go collect tithes for mommy, dears!" She shouts at them like they're alive. Her big fancy puppets then start takin' everypony's crops, right from our all marketplace stalls!

OH NO SHE AIN'T! HI-YA!

Ah give one of 'em stone ponies a good kick to the head, them head goes ka-shatter! Ah'm an Earth Pony, after all, born and raised on a rock farm! Knowin' just where to hit 'em's as natural ta me as breathin'!

"No pony hurts mommy's babies!" Then the headless rock pony kicks me back. Dang, Ah think it busted a rib.

A purple glow surrounds the rock pony as it comes to give me a smack down. It just falls apart like the dumb pile of rocks it is.

"My baby!"

A Virgacorn filly with purple stripes jumps on top of the pile. It's Magica! "Don't worry Apple Pie, I'll protect you."

Fluttercruel dove right at her, Magica fired a beam of purple light that went right through the pegasus who then crashed. Ha!

"Run fer it!" I shouted.

"No! I'm not bowing down to these monsters again!" Magica shouted. It's then Ah realize all our neighbors are watching us! Some of them DO run for it. Others, decide, like Magica, that they've plum had ENOUGH!

Dang! That monster Angry Pie is smashin' anythin' that bleeds red! Ah see Puella and Caster pushin' with there magic against her while Magica is dealin' with the rock ponies, but that hot-house o' fury ain't stoppin'! And that Wicked Fluttercruel is already gettin' back up!

I sigh. Fluttercruel just has to jump into the middle of things, like always. I hadn't even gotten to read my formal declaration. Angry Pie follows right behind her. This is why I dislike working with the others. Too unpredictable. But with Master, unpredictable is the order of the day and even that is not all that trustworthy.

Oh well, might as well read it, no one listens to it anyway. I speak over the screams of pain and battle cries from our purge. "Ahem. Attention Ponies of Ponyville. You have been discovered to be practicing magic, which is formally forbidden by Discord, Humble Servant of Equestria. Please cease immediately and your punishment shall be minimal. Resistance shall result in greater violence. The precise list of your infractions is as follows-" A stray piece of debris smacks me in the face, breaking my reading glasses. I just sigh again.

"Hey Twili, Ah'm real sure everypony is listin' to ya flapping yer gums in the middle of a fight, but how 'bout some help here?"

"This is not a fight, Liarjack. Just leave it to Fluttercruel and Angry Pie; they are perfectly capable of squelching this dissent entirely on their own. The moment those two stepped onto the battlefield, all these ponies were as good as vulture meat."

"Yeah, and that is SOOOOO a good thing."

"NO! Don't run and don't fight back either! It'll just encourage them!" Traitor Dash shouted at a pair of parents who were trying to hide in an alleyway.

Liarjack looked at me. "Why are most of us even here?"

I brought up a barrier between us and the havoc so we can discuss in peace. "Fluttercruel is here because she thinks it's fun. Angry Pie saw a chance to let steam off the volcano. Rarigreed thinks it was a chance to add to her collection. Traitor Dash is here thinking she can save lives. I was ordered to be here, and I'm trying to give a sense of order to this mess."

"'Order?' Ta somethin' Master wants done?"

"Chaos cannot exist without order. I am merely providing a service to Master. But what about you? Why are you here then?"

"'Cause."

"I see."

Angry Pie and Fluttercruel were massacring anything on four legs whether they had been practicing magic or not, idiots. Traitor Dash was dive-bombing targets, knocking them out of the deadly duo's path. Rarigreed and her rock golems were collecting more rocks and crushing anypony that got in their way. I was sure my ever-omniscient Master was getting a kick out of watching this...

"Would ya mind kindly lettin' me out?" LJ asked.

I gave a shrug and dropped the barrier, LJ instantly chased after some foals who had hidden in one of Ponyville's upside down buildings.

"Die monster! You don't belong in this world!" A purple stripped Virgacorn filly teleported in front of me and unleashed a powerful blast of raw magic at my face. I stare at her coldly as I waited for my eyes and facial muscles to regenerate.

"Attacking an enemy with raw offense when you are outgunned is reckless and foolish, filly," I tell her, magically grabbing her shoulder and hip joints and methodically began to dislocate them.

"S-Somepony has to stand up to you!"

"Doing it in such a way that will only get you killed is a waste of lives and resources, especially when you personally have no means of harming the enemy. You should have known better." I magically toss her away where she lands on the checkered ground so hard she bounces. Angry Pie and Fluttercruel are on her before the dust settles.

"Remember Queen Cadence!"

I look up to see the sun momentarily in the sky before it shifted to the moon. I saw a small group of white equines with butterfly wings and feelers. Pure blue eyes with pupils stare back at me with grim determination.

Fluttercruel sees them too and forgets all about the foals she was supposed to be bringing her and Master's wrath down upon. She grinned. "Oh goodie! Changelings!"

She flies up to fight them, Traitor Dash follows, creating a Sonic Dark Boom that scatters the butterfly like ponies like insects in the wind.

Yellow flames burst around the changelings for a second as they change into more brightly colored copies of Fluttercruel and Traitor Dash and swarm us, the darkness making it more difficult to tell who is who. I still haven't figured out what magic Queen Cadence gave them that made it so Master couldn't just turn them into parasprites with a wave of his paw. Master now regards them with a mix of amusement and annoyance. Oh well, just meant having to do things the old fashioned way.

Poor Magica was all forgotten 'bout once the cavalry arrived. They weren't gonna last long. Ah love them changelings, and they're badflank fighters and they're some pony Banana Boss Discord can't beat with the snap of his fingers. But they ain't no match for the Elements of Chaos.

"Magica, ya can hear me right?" She was bleedin' all over. Them animals. They had cut up her star cutie mark like nothin' else. Oh Cadence! Her horn! Them freaks they, they-

"I'm sorry Apple... I wasn't... I didn't have the power. None of us did."

I looked around, so many of Virgacorns, not movin', all of 'em so small...Puella and Caster...This ain't right. Ah'm tearin' up. This here is wrong!

"Who ratted us out?"

"Could be anypony... could be no pony... Discord's ears are... everywhere."

Paranoia spun in mah head, Was it Cream Pie? She'd been sayin' how Magica learin' magic was dangerous. Banana Pie? She'd said how it might be better to let the Virgacorns get hurt than help'em. Poison Apple? She was taken to the castle and never came back a few weeks back... for the sake of Fluttercruel's 'fun.' By now we didn't know if she ever would come back, sometimes they did, sometimes they didn't...sometimes the ones that didn't come back were the lucky ones.

"Apple...I'm sorry...I should never have brought you into this."

"Heh! Don't be silly! Ah was the one who wanted to learn Earth Pony magic like ya wanted to learn Virgacorn magic! Ah choose to be here." Ah smiled at'er.

"You always... just go with the flow."

"Ah'll steer the rapids how Ah choose." Why were mah hooves shakin'?

"Silly pony... you should have been a poet..." She nuzzled me... like a weak old grandmother.

"C-Come on!... These monsters are gonna lose. This nightmare is gonna end and we'll all wake up back on mah family's rock farm! Let's have a party there! I bet Puella and Caster are already there!... T-that sounds fun don't it?"

"Sounds lovely. I think...I'll go ahead of you." She gave me a little laugh... then just... stopped.

I snipe the changelings out of the air one by one.

Rarigreed was finally forced to look up from her rock hoarding when a changeling tackled her. "YOU CAN'T HAVE THEM! THEY'RE MINE YOU HEAR ME? MINE! MINE! MINE!" The rest kept their distance after she had him trampled.

I noticed several small Virgacorns were fleeing the scene. So that was it. I calmly brought up a force field to stop their escape. It got shattered a minute later by Traitor Dash's Sonic Dark Boom.

"Oops, sorry Twilight." She looked sheepish as a changeling's broken body crashed to the ground from her sonic attack.

I didn't respond. I merely finished off the changeling before it could get back in the air. Several more surround me, dive-bomb me, surround me in a yellow aura, and kick up dust all at once so I can't concentrate on the Virgacorns. A short electrical storm gives them more to worry about.

The sun rose in an instant, and I noticed a flock of hippogriffs were now zooming in at top speed from all directions. These troublemakers were more organized then they should have been. We've killed rebel leaders time and again, why didn't they just give up already?

Angry Pie leapt up off the floor-tops and tore wings off hippogriffs before smashing in their faces. She's so focused on the one she's beating on that she doesn't notice the one behind her until it hits her so fast it shattered her spine and sent her flying clear out of Ponyville. Perfect, until she regenerates and finds her way back, we're a pony down.

"YOU CAN'T HAVE THEM!" Rarigreed shouted madly as she floated pieces of debris and fired them in all directions at the new comers in a hail of pain. "MINE!"

LJ is still playing hide and seek with foals. TD and Fluttercruel have to fight the changelings and the hippogriffs and dodge Rarigreed's reckless attacks. I redirect my shield's magic all forward to keep from being impaled from Rarigreed's recklessness.

"This isn't a spectator's sport!" A hippogriff flies behind me low to the ground, I turn an eye and burn him to black bones in seconds. I roll my eyes.

This was going to be a loooong assignment.

++++

Too long later the changelings and hippogriffs retreated after taking heavy losses. I began reanimating the corpses one by one and sending them to hunt down the survivors. Waste not, want not. Too bad they'd figured out a long time ago undead aren't their family members anymore. It makes them far less effective.

Fluttercruel grunted in annoyance she pulled out the broken plank from Rarigreed's indiscriminate attack. "Will you watch it next time loser?"

Rarigreed hug a rock puppet and stuck her tongue out, "Mine."

Angry Pie trotted into Ponyville on her three good legs, her expression smoldering. She assaults one of my reanimated Hippogriffs, probably thinking it was the one who sent her flying.

Traitor Dash just huddled in a corner.

Liarjack trotted out of the upside down house she had gone into. "Done and done! Completely spared."

"Not quite," Fluttercruel said. She was eyeing an Earth Pony filly holding the broken body of the Virgacorn who had attacked me. The Earth pony's cutie mark was a slice of apple, and an orange slice. Something seemed familiar about her, but I couldn't remember...that happens from time to time.

"Back off, I need this," Angry Pie snapped as she trotted to the filly, leaving the doubly-killed Hippogriff laying in a heap.

The filly didn't run. She didn't look scared either, just, sad. Most ponies know there are clearer ways to go if she wanted to die.

Angry Pie raised a hoof right above the filly's head before Fluttercruel rammed her into a wall with her flanks. "Finders keepers." Fluttercruel grinned as she raised her blade weapon.

Master teleports in among us, floating above the floor-tops. "Well! Looks like you ladies certainly cleaned house!"

The filly... laughed?

Angry Pie's eyes narrowed in murderous intent. Fluttercruel brought the blade down before Angry Pie could steal her score.

"STOP AT ONCE!"

The blade weapon stopped just as it cut the first millimeter of flesh on the filly's forehead. A vertical red line bled on the filly's head and slowly dripped down her face.

LJ, Traitor Dash, Rarigreed and I barely held Angry Pie back as she hissed and snarled, she made us lose teeth a couple times trying to break free.

"Master?" Fluttercruel looked up at Master with honest confusion in her eyes.

"LET ME AT HER!" Angry Pie hissed.

"I SAID STOP!" Master boomed, finally succeeding in cowing Angry Pie.

Fluttercruel bowed so low her face touched the ground. "Yes Master."

Master teleported face to face with the filly, upside down, his feet and tail acting like they were standing on solid ground despite all logic. "You laughed?"

"Yeah."

"Why?" I asked before Master could. Curiosity bubbled inside me, for the first time in a long time.

"Hey, even in the darkest of times you hav'ta find something to laugh about!"

"Heh." Master made a small laugh himself, triggering another tantrum from Angry Pie. Master looked at Angry Pie, and I swear I heard him sigh.

"Your job is done. Go back to the castle."

"But Master I think she was one of the fillies practicing magic, wasn't the whole-"

Discord shut Fluttercruel up. "I said go back to the castle, young mare! Or didn't you hear me?"

"No, Master. Of course I heard you." Fluttercruel bowed again.

Master rubbed his eyebrows. "And make sure Angry Pie doesn't do anything stupid, again."

"Yes Master," we all echoed.

"You, dear, remind me of a mare I knew who was very fun to have around," Master glanced at Angry Pie, then back at the filly. "Just keep on smilin', girlie!" Master grinned and gave the filly a thumbs-up. "What's your name?"

"... Apple Pie."

"Apple Pie?" Master burst out laughing as LJ's jaw drops, "Oh that's rich! So rich! Kiddo, you've made my day! Live and be happy and all that tripe!" Master snapped his fingers and her injured ribs were healed but the thin cut on her forehead remained. Apple Pie dared reach up and feel it. "Consider that little nip there from Fluttercruel a reminder of when you made the king of chaos laugh!" Master clapped, echoing into an entire audience's worth of applauds.

He then looked at us, "Excuse me, did I or did I not-" I telekinetically grab the others and pulled them in close before teleporting us all back just outside the castle gates. I didn't know what the Master was up too...he didn't do anything unless it was fun for him in some way...

Episode 69: (Dark World) Curiosity

I collected my notes and prepared for my debriefing with Master. How long did that take?

Days and nights are too unpredictable to be used to keep time. We simply sleep when tired, and do our tasks when we rise. We come when Master calls and leave when we're dismissed. After that, we do whatever we please until we're tired or he calls us again. That is all there needs to be.

LJ stood in line behind me as I stood in Master's cluttered throne room, opposite the big screen TV.

"So, my dearest Twilight Tragedy, what's the newest up-and-up in the kingdom of eternal chaos?"

Master has no actual need for these reports, his eyes and ears are everywhere. After a thousand years or so, everything alive fears and/or hates him. Nearly all know better than to ever disobey him.

"I found the note in my bedroom just where you told me, Master, I burned it without reading it, as per your instructions. I also burned all the time travel spells in the library without memorizing them, they are no threat to you. I then went down to the basement and burned the twenty-four scrolls with the seal of the sun and my cutie mark on them, again without reading them as your commanded, and then scattered the ashes across every corner of your domain."

"And the library of Pre-Chaos-Era fiction, with the time resistance seal on it to prevent decay?"

"Burned to the ground. Starting with the Daring Do section as you commanded me."

Why did LJ shudder when I said that?

I continued. "The Virgacorns teaching magic have fled Ponyville. I believe the magic students in Ponyville were meant as bait, given how quickly both the Changelings and the Hippogriffs ambushed us. Since none of us can be killed, I theorize they were hoping to capture us."

"And what would you say were their losses total, my dear?"

"I calculate Master it was-" Snap of his fingers. "FAR TOO MANY YOU SACK OF-" Snap. "-pure chaos that prevents stagnant order from dominating and freezing all the world. I believe they'll know better than to try a brute force approach, but I strongly believe they've recognized they can easily reach the heart of Equestria and-" Snap. "SHOW EVERYPONY HOW LIMITED YOUR VISION REALLY IS YOU-" Snap. "-are well aware Master that our information network is far too lax and disorganized. I believe-" Snap. "THIS JUST GOES TO SHOW THAT-" Snap. "-that perhaps we should-" Snap. "-SHOW YOU JUST WHAT-" Snap. "-ways we can more effectively-" Snap. "-GIVE YOU A-" Snap. "-superior level of-" Snap. "-PAIN AND HUMILIATION YOU DESERVE-" Snap. "-to hand out to the enemies of chaos. And-" Snap. "-YOU-" Snap. "-shall-" Snap. "-GET-" Snap. "-our-" Snap. "-TOTAL-" Snap. "effect-" Snap. "-IVE-" Snap. "-ness.... Master, I do not feel well." I slid off all four hooves with my tongue out and my eyes spinning.

Master laughs and claps. "Take a little break, my Twilight Tragedy. Liarjack, how did your personal assignment go?"

Liarjack trotted forward proudly with her chest puffed out. "Ah absolutely did NOT hunt down and exterminate every callow youth and wise mentor in the kingdom!" Liarjack said proudly.

Fluttercruel and Angry Pie both trotted in on cue, carrying a pair of bloody butcher knives and a spiked mace, respectively. 'Cruel smiled. "We know you didn't because we just did."

"Wha? How in tha' Mastah did ya know?!"

"We figured you might have been telling the truth to throw us off," Angry Pie grumbled. LJ had been becoming more creative with her Element of Deceit lately, I don't know whether to be concerned or impressed.

Liarjack looked at Master shaking in her horseshoes.

"My my my, Liarjack you've become a baaad pony," Master whispered as he floated down right in front of her, his eyes never leaving hers. He kissed her and patted her on the cheek. "I love bad ponies." He turned away from her back to his throne with a seductive sway in his hips. He slid down grinning.

Angry Pie and Fluttercruel looked at each other confused and disappointed. LJ looked ready to wet herself.

"An adorable job, Fluttercruel."

"Thank you Master."

Angry Pie growled at her own lack of praise.

"Twilight Tragedy."

Master needed me, I forced myself up. "Yes Master?"

"I have a tiny tinny errand I'd like you to take care of for me. Just a flight of fancy." That was different from everything else how? "Nothing important. Just a little side project in your spare time."

"Anything, Master."

"Heh, beware 'anything' Tragedy. Oh and Twilight, friendship is magic."

I tilted my head in confusion, "Master that makes no sense." I then groaned, remembering who I was talking to and quoted, "'And what fun is there in making sense.'"

"Good pony."

+++

Mah name is Liarjack, always has been, always will be. Ya can't change what is. What scares me more than anythin' is glaring, straight and heartless truth, lies at least have a heart. What Ah want more than anythin', is us to stay together. Who Ah loved more than anythin' passed away a long long time ago. What makes me happy is pears and gardenin', pretty dresses and rodeos. What matters most is you girls.
-
If ponies have to call me something then call me Angry Pie. If you call me something I don't like you'll know fast! When things aren't the way you like them you force it to change with your own two hooves! I DON'T FEAR ANYTHING! WHAT I WANT MORE ANYTHING IS FOR DUMB PONIES TO STOP LAUGHING! Love? Pst! What I love is the peace and quiet ponies always want to screw up! HAPPINESS? Who give a flying feather about that?! What matters most to me is making sure ponies know Angry Pie is no laughing matter!
-
You may call me Rarigreed or Greedity, I don't really care which, just so long as you remember they're both mine. What matters to mommy is her precious babies. They're all so precious and beautiful. I don't care about anything else as long my precious family keeps having new members. If I am forced to name a fear, it would be losing my babies. Mommy's greatest desire is for her and Tom's family to always grow. Mommy's greatest love and happiness is her children of course. All is mine to keep.
-
A name? Fluttercruel. It is what it is. If it isn't what I like I'll break it and make it what I want it to be. Fear is a weakness I don't have. I desire for the fun and games to never ever end. Love? Ick. Humph! If-if you must know, there is something who is a very special someone to me. But that is none of your beeswax. Happiness is making creatures remember they're dirt under your hooves. What matters most is me... and my very special someone.
-
My name is Traitor Dash. That's the only name that matters now. There are things that can matter so much one minute, then not matter at all, everything is always changing, so what's the point of even trying to keep up? I fear failing, I fear losing, I fear falling short, I fear nothing is ever going right, I fear everything being for nothing, I fear a lot of things. What I desire most? Was this was all just a bad dream I could wake up from. Greatest love? I lost the right to love anypony forever ago. I have no right to be happy. What matters most? Everything is equal.
-
(Interview's Notes (Twilight Tragedy): Spike?... I know you're not on the list of those Master wanted me to interview but... I feel I should ask you too. You're a part of our, group, after all.)

I am Kenbroth Gilspotten Heathspike 'Spike' The Seventh. Dragons are supposed to be titans who can bend the world to what they want it to be, for lesser creatures to bow and cower before us and make our place in the world what we want it to be. I'm the opposite of that. I have nothing left to fear, Twilight, because my worst fears have already all come true. I wish this could just end. I wish you'd smile again. I wish Rarity would look at me again. And, and I still love her. I love the Rarity I remember. You being near makes me happy. What matters most, what's left to matter most, is the two of you.

(Interview's Notes (Twilight Tragedy): As for myself? I am Twilight Tragedy. I neither accept or reject what is handed to me. I fear nothing. I desire nothing. I love nothing. I feel satisfaction, but not happiness. Nothing matters but serving Master. That is all that I am, that is all I need to know.)
++++

Cloudsdale is always moving, wherever the wind may blow it. It's not always near Ponyville anymore. And me, I just hope I'm unable to find it. I hope I can tell Master I wasn't able to fill out his orders this 'morning.' Just don't try too hard, don't look too hard, let yourself get distracted by the Sky Ocean over the Valley of Needles, yeah that's the ticket and, dangit, I spotted it. I can't run away. If I do, then Master might find out and do... worse than if I don't.

Place sure has changed in the last thousand years. It's bigger. The windows, the doors, the streets, have been resized to fit the locals better. They've had plenty of time to resize since they cleared out the lunatic pegasi. There isn't much in the way of defenses. There's no real point in them when you're up against an evil spirit who can turn your cloud city into lead.

Time for a perfect three point landing on top of the highest building, dang, this brings back nasty memories, of course, knowing Master that's half the point.

A hippogriff filly...chick...child...kid too young to know she's supposed to be afraid of me flutters up to me atop of the building. Her cutie mark is a question mark. "Hello Miss, what are you?"

When I answer her, I try to act like I wasn't the bad guy, delaying the inevitable as long as I can, "I'm a pegasus."

She tilted her head. Other hippogriffs begin her gasped at the sight of me. "What's that? Are you half-hippogriff and half-Earth-pony?"

I chuckle. My first laugh in a long time. "Naw. You pay attention in history right?" At Twilight's urging, Master actually began allowing history to be taught. At least... his own version of it. Master's games wouldn't be as fun if he was the only one who knew life wasn't always this way. Good? Bad? Don't ask me.

"Yeah! Wait a minute! I know you! I've seen pictures in books! You're one half of us hippogriffs, right? And the other half were called G... gri...-"

"Griffins. They were called Griffins."

"Right! Then Big Banana Boss Discord brought the two halves together and made us hippogriffs!"

Actually, the pegasi and the griffins fled Master together towards the wastelands. A lot like how the unicorns mass-migrated to Zebrafrica. As if there was anywhere in the universe they could escape to. Gotta give props to Queen Cadence; she kept us busy for a good five hundred years. But while we were busy fighting her and her changelings... griffins and pegasi, and the unicorns and zebras, had had plenty of time to get to know each other and start families! Donkeys assimilated in with the Earth Ponies, but as they were never a widespread species, they hadn't affected the race as much.

I actually don't mind, the Pegasi and Griffins live on in them, like the unicorns and zebras live on in the virgacorns.

"So what's your name?"

"... Traitor Dash."

"That's a weird name."

"It's the one I'm stuck with," I said ruffling her golden feathers and coat. "What's your name?"

"Inquisition! GET AWAY FROM IT!" Shouted a rightfully scared mother.

And vacation's over.

"But Mom!" Inquisition whines, "We're just talkin-"

"I said get away!" The ruby and green hippogriff mother shouted, and dove for her child, I flapped up some to give them some room. I sighed. That ended way too quick... always does...

'I'm sorry, Inquisition,' I ached inside.

"YOU! What are YOU here for, Shadow Bolt?" A gold and red hippogriff with a lance cutie mark snarled at me. He flew so he was between the noncombatants and me. Other males joined him claws bared. I hate that nickname like I hate my name. The only name I don't hate...is the one I don't deserve anymore.

"I'm here because Master ordered it. Hippogriffs have challenged the eternal chaos." I look at the males, unable to keep the hurt out of my voice. "Did you think he was going to let you off?! Did you think you were actually going to change anything?!"

"As long as anything has free will, there'll be resistance to your tyranny, you freak!" a random hippogriff shouted.

I look at the leader. "What's yer name?"

"Horus, monster."

"... Please, Horus, tell me whose idea it was to help the changelings in that ambush! Give me somepony, anypony, LIE to me if you have to! Otherwise, Master will destroy Cloudsdale and you!"

Poor Inquisition gawks at me in horror. I can't bear to look at her.

"SHE'S ALL ALONE! I SAY WE TAKE'ER! Deathless abomination or not she can't take all of-" A fast micro-Sonic Darkboom of mine shatters his wings and breaks his back, knocking all the hippogriffs around him off their claws.

"PLEASE! Just tell me!"

The hippogriffs gather round their fallen friend, helping him up, and they look at me even more hatefully. Great.

"I AM!" shouted Horus.

Less than a second later the 'griff holding Inquisition shouted, "I did!"

"It was I!" Shouted an elderly 'griff with one eye missing.

"I was the one!" Screamed a violet and blue 'griff with a ball lightning cutie mark.

It turned into a chorus.

"IT WAS ME!" Inquisition shouted at me.

I shudder, close my eyes, and break the beak of the 'griff who chooses that moment to come at my throat.

Why couldn't they just throw me some lowlife they all hate?! Why?!

I open my eyes and look over everyone in the crowd, individually. Finally I point at one. "It was you. You were going to speak up first, but Horus beat you to it, then you were the last one to speak up after looking at everypony else in surprise. I'm sorry. You're the guilty wrongdoer."

She shouted back, "Save the garbage, you sadistic murderer!"

Horus screamed, "Storm-Cracker, fly for it!"

The 'griff opens up her wings, but not to fly away but to dive right at me!

"YOU MORON!" I scream at the top of my lungs, tears in my eyes as I Sonic Darkboom her in the gut, shattering her hollow bones, as we both sail clear out of Cloudsdale. "A LEADER IS SUPPOSED TO LISTEN TO THEIR FRIENDS, NOT GO LOOKING FOR MARTYRDOM!"

"There'll... always be... anoth-"

"THERE'LL NEVER BE ANOTHER 'YOU', YOU IDIOT!" I howl as I we both crash us both into Old Dragon's Peak. "... You can't replace family."

Storm-Cracker dies instantly.

It'll take a bad while to dig myself out. At least I don't have to face the hateful crowd. Stupid Dash. Have to make it back to Master as soon as I can before he thinks I'm napping on the job and need 'motivation.'

Maybe I can make up a story about being ambushed by the Dragon Remnants, he'll let it slide, heck, he'll -reward- me if I make it sound interesting enough. Doesn't matter it's a lie as long as it's a good story.

++++

"Applejack, help me, please."

"That ain't mah name no more, 'Bloom."

"... Ah'm sorry Applejack, Ah couldn't fix yer heart."

"Don't say that, it ain't yer fault mah heart can't be fixed."

"Then help me."

"...Ah-Ah...Ah don't wanna be alone."

"What 'bout everypony else?"

"...They're as good as dead. Ah'm alone. Ah'd be... if ya weren't here."

"Honest fer once, are ya? But Big sister, Ah miss Granny Smith, Ah miss Big Mac, Ah miss Lance, Ah miss Scootaloo, Ah miss Sweetie Belle! And the pain, the pain never goes away. Ah miss mah youngin's. Ah didn't ask ya before, cause Ah had a job to do, fixin' the ponies here in Sunnytown, since...Ah Lord Boss' remade me to be like them. Please, Ah know Ah'm being selfish! But Ah'm yer little sister, Don't Ah have a right ta be... Just a little?

"Ah know Ah'm quittin', but...b-but Big Sister, Ah can't take it no more! Durin' the light, Ah'm alive but it hurts, durin' the dark, Ah'm dead but it still hurts! And even when Ah'm dead, Ah can't see 'em!...Big sis...please... Ruby, Threeleaf, Mitta, Scoots, Sweetie, Lance...they're all waitin' fer me now. Please, Sweetie could've been a doll forever, but Discord let her live instead to be with her own big sister! Didn't that make yah happy?"

"No."

"Liar."

"It's the kinder thing to say. As a doll she didn't need to see what was left of her sister, and Ah wish ya didn't need to see what's left of yers."

"Ah'm sorry Ah couldn't fix ya... Ah'm sorry Ah couldn't fix any of ya. Ah failed."

"Just like ya failed to help the rest of the Sunnytowners finally move on so Master couldn't toy with'em no more. Master was soooo happy you didn't."

"Heh, you're right, thanks. Please big sister, help me move on. It was a gift that Ah could still bring life inta the world even cursed. Ponies keep havin' foals because they're hopin' Queen Cadence can one day kill Lord Boss Discord. But Ah'm worn out. Mah grandkids' grandkids are waitin' fer me with all mah friend Ah helped. Please, indulge yer little sister in this selfishness and look after mah family 'stead?"

"Ah can't promise nothin'."

"Please."

". . . Ah'll try."

"Please AJ. Let me go...Yer the only one who can..."

"Ah... Ah can't go on without ya! Not in 'dis world!"

"If ya still love me, ya'll help me."

"No. I DON'T STILL LOVE YOU! AT ALL! AH HAVE NO HEART! HOW COULD AH LOVE ANYTHIN'?!"

"A-a-applejack."

"...And, yer still mah little sistah, and ah still love ya more than anything, Ah'm dang proud of everythin' ya've done. All yer sins are forgivin', let go of yer guilt, yer free, lay down and get some rest."

"AJ?"

"Bad Lies makes for happy surprises."

And Ah watch, as the mare in front of me ages before mah eyes, growin' as old as Granny Smith was Master's day, then older, an' older, she lays down on the grass, and closes her eyes, "Thank ya, Abigail."

... A little pink bow lay on top of a pile of dust.

"APPLEBLOOM!" Mah eyes shot open. No Ah didn't sit up, that only happens in tha movies. Ah think.

Mah bedroom. Least it's not upside down this time. Master must've gotten bored of that. Ah'm not cryin'...Ah already done did mah cryin' ...

Ah needed some rest after Master dang and found me out. Just Ah think Ah have'em figured out he goes and pulls somethin' like that. Ah hope none of'em realize Ah was tellin' the truth too when Ah said Ah spared those ponies in Ponyville.

Ah never though Ah'd end up dreamin' 'bout that day in Sunnytown Everfree.

That whole mess happened over five hundred years ago, Ah think, Master likes to keep mah memories clearer than Twili's. Ah don't think he thought Ah'd ever let Applebloom... leave.

Ah was lucky ta have 'Bloom long as Ah did. So many bloodlines were ended that day. So many ponies died or transformed into things ya couldn't call ponies no more. Later along, Master reigned himself in a bit. Worried he might run out of toys.

By then, Princess Blueblood was a puddle on the floor, and Philomina's ashes were made inta a clay pot. Ah think she's still technically alive. Maybe.

Screwball was his new enforcer 'till he finished breakin' us in. Nowadays, Ah think she and her daughter are together in a music box in his throne room. Ya can never be sure what's real and what's a lie with Master. Kinda like me.

Ah think that crazy mare who thought she was a mutt became queen of the Diamond Dogs or somethin'.

And the rest of Ponyville? They got rescued by space-ponies and lived happily ever after in a spaceship.

Okay, that last one wasn't really one of mah best lies.

Bon-Bon had turned to candy and Lyra tried to hang herself after she ate her and Master made her head clear again. But Ah intervened. And Ah suggested ta Master she could be useful to him as one of his new seaponies. Miss Octavia, mercifully, went deaf. Ah... Ah never bothered to find out who she ended up marryin'. Maybe some pony from her band. Then Master found out how good of a musician she still was... even when deaf, even when she was feelin' the notes instead of hearin' em. So he gave 'er back her hearin', then added her to his fish tank and wiped away her memories of her family. She didn't even recognize her own Earth Pony youngin's.

Ah think Ah actually ran out of hate for Master a long time ago.

At least Octavia and Lyra are happy.

Still, poor seaponies. They're all just songbirds in a gilded cage and they don't even know it!

Seein' Master all calm and smilin' listenin' to 'em sing, it's downright scary!

True to Master's style he hasn't brain-zapped a single one after the first generation. After all, they were born what they are. And their parents couldn't stop talkin' 'bout how great Master is. They ain't got a clue how bad everythin' outside their little ocean is. Lucky ponies!

Ya know what sucks 'bout bein' so good at lyin'? It gets harder and harder ta believe yer own lies.

+++++++

The stars are so distant, silent. Stars look so orderly, at first glance. So still, like a photograph that never changes. Returning and returning every year in a perfect cycle. A completely flawless order. But after a thousand years, you begin to notice the tiny shifts most ponies are blind too in their all-too-brief-lifespans. Constellations begin to slightly drift apart and form new ones. Stars wink out and new stars are born. Chaos creeps out of the order. I don't know why, but it seems so beautiful.

In an instant, it's daytime, the clouds fly about like mad. White clouds produced by hippogriffs get bumped and bruised by wild cotton candy clouds zipping, Master's sugary creations, drenching anything underneath them in chocolate milk, syrup, or DJ P0N-3 records. It was just like watching parasprites swarm, no order or reason...Or was there? If you looked long enough, you'd see patterns begin to emerge. Cycles begin to play out. Order crawling out of the very Chaos. In fact, in some ways, the cycles in them seemed more reliable than the stars...

Then night comes again. Always the two extremes of day and night. Twilight, my name, it meant between daytime and nighttime, so I knew it existed. But why only these two absolutes in Master's world of perfect chaos? Always perfect night or perfect day, no in-between. It made no sense, 'and what fun is there in making sense?' But rather than another bit of Master's randomness, it felt like a critical error.

Sky Ocean floated aimlessly above the castle. Larger than any metropolis, it was a several miles wide, lazily shifting shape, sometimes looking like a sphere, others a spider web or liquid blanket across the sky. Seaponies granted with bioluminescence put on lightshows for however long the nights lasted.

"They sure are the dang plug-ugliest critters ya can ever dream of ever seein', ain't they? They ain't surprising at all, considerin' what ya'd normally expect Master to come up with."

"They are indeed beautiful, LJ." I reply, not even glancing as she sat next to me upon the castle garden bench. I never asked Liarjack how she takes such care of the plants with only chocolate rain and rocks to work with. But I know the roses are just for smelling and not touching. The Venus-Pony-Traps are to be avoided. How I wish Fluttercruel just quit breaking my legs and pushing me into the poison joke, whenever we're both out here.

Liarjack looked at me. "I can totally blame that one pony who jumped in to join 'em."

"I remember." A hippogriff screaming she couldn't take it anymore flew right into the ocean. The sea ponies swarmed her, and the water turned red. They then apologized for using way too much mane dye on her and welcomed their newest sister into their chorus.

"They're not like how ponies used to be at all: scared to death one moment, but as soon as the trouble's gone they swim along like nothin' happened. That turned to be soooooo a good thing!"

"The only time I can remember the seaponies ever being scared was that time three hundred years ago the six of us without Master's help had to deal with extra-reality usurper ponies led by a twisted and powerful version of that pony whose always circling the palace."

"Yep. Ah didn't think about stabbin' Master in the back for a second', it's not like Ah stayed on this side 'cause better the devil ya know than the devil ya don't. Or that at least there was good at one point inside us all at least."

"It was a long, hard, and strenuous battle, I lost count of the number of times I was impaled. Then it turned out they had all been cloned directly from us. Cheap biological copies. But we proved we were the true elements of chaos. It was quite a harrowing crisis though." I wanted to ask 'but aren't we the good' we safeguard chaos from tireless slaves of order born again every generation aren't we? But with Liarjack that felt a wasted effort to ask. So why am I wondering?

"Heh-heh, yeah, those were boring times. Didn't feel nostalgic at all."

"The last time I remember you looking that happy was during the alien invasion some centuries back."

"Yeah!" Liarjack smiled, more than that, her mane shone... lighter? Brighter? Something slightly different about her. "It wasn't just 'bout Master! It was the whole world! Them aliens were gonna invade Equestria! They were gonna blow up the planet! What a good thing that our pony friend with the blue box caught wind of'em! Fought 'em out in space!

"The way you made their planet poppin' missiles explode before they were fired! Fluttercruel impersonatin' their commander's voice, and orderin' them to cluck like chickens!"

"You actually laughed at that."

"Yeah, I did! For a bit it felt just like old times! And the dragons, the virgacorns, the hippogriffs, the changelings, EVERYONE was united because EVERYONE'S lives were on the line! It was great fightin' alongside all of 'em! And Spike! Whoa Nelly! He took one of them big spaceships and used it as a CANNON to shoot down the rest! It was awesome! Dang! Ah sound like Dash!"

"And then Master figured that, considering the heavy losses which the changelings had sustained, it was an ideal moment to finally eliminate Queen Cadence."

I was perplexed when the... difference... around Liarjack faded, and she was back to her old grey colors. "Nope. Don't remember part that at all."

Personally, the near destruction of Equestria was a perplexing experience for me. The invaders had apparently been prepared for Master's power, I don't know how they did it, but they'd managed to protect their army from his power. Thus why we had to side with our sworn enemies to fend off the genocide. Master had seemed almost, excited.

Master had personally traveled to the heart of the invader's empire to hit their leader in the face with a cream pie. Only to find a sad old man on life support. Master dropped the pie, and instead gave him a non-poison joke flower and one day of perfect health.

When Master came back, Master was NOT happy!

"I felt bad because someone else felt bad? I don't understand! It's not opposite day! At least I didn't get the memo if it was!"

"No, Master. Opposite Day's next week."

"And I'm not liking NOT understanding!? That makes less sense! And I'm not happy it doesn't make sense?!"

"I believe it is called 'pity' Master." I said swiftly to save my master.

"Whatever it's called, I hate it!" He dropped a fifty ton weight on my head. That hurts less than you think.

I crawled out from under it as I regenerated. "Pity means showing compassion and empathy for somepony else, or so I've heard."

"Forget it! It never happened! This NEVER HAPPENED!" he yelled at the top of his lungs. He then slunk down in his throne.

"Still," He turned to an Earth Pony beside him with an hourglass cutie mark. "I must thank you, Doctor, I'd rather not have to rebuild the planet my kingdom's built on from atomic ash."

"It was a pleasure to ensure the continued existence of your kingdom of chaos." The earth pony grinned and bowed, then looked up. "And please, call me the Valeyard."

"And to think I only needed to kill you a few dozen times to hit on the right persona."

They both cackled.

"Please! Just leave us alone!"

It was the gray mare again. The black birds never let up. Attacking the muffin was what they'd been conjured for.

It looked like she had knocked off a few hundred laps around the castle since I'd last paid attention to her.

Traitor Dash had once taken her and her filly shaped muffin and sped them both around the castle a few hundred thousand times before Master stopped her.
-
"Oh, Traitor Dash! You must want that muffin so badly! Why don't you eat it? I'll even chop it up so it'll go down easier."

"OH NO NO NO! Not at all, Master! Not at all!"

"Then don't go taking things that aren't yours, my little pony."

"Yes, Master!"
-
Maybe I should interview her as well. She feels familiar now that I think about it. Usually, I didn't. I've been experiencing all sorts of strange thoughts and memories... ever since Master had spared that laughing filly. Could that act of mercy have, perhaps, really disturbed me? Confused me? Disrupted my cycle? Cycles? In Master's perfect chaos? Had we decayed so far into Order?

I hadn't felt this confused since our final battle with Queen Cadence in Old Avalon. But my memory of that battle is so foggy. My memory is just horribly faulty in some areas. Not like Liarjack or Traitor Dash...

"Liarjack."

"Yeah, Twilight?"

"Please tell me the exact opposite of every detail you remember of our razing of Old Avalon."

She looked confused, but hurt too. I'm guessing these memories are painful for her (doesn't matter, you need information). I shook my head looking around a bit. There was no one else.

LJ began, "Well, if ya really wanna know the opposite of what happened..."

Episode 70: (Dark World) Darkest Hour

Pony POV Series
"Dark World" Part Three
By Alex Warlorn
DARKEST HOUR
(WARNING! Dark!)

"Sunshine, sunshine, ladybugs awake, clap your hooves, and do a little shake!"

Tragedy never understood why Queen Mi Amore Cadenza Equestria Avalon always said that nonsense whenever she saw her. She didn't turn her flank to her like the first time that left herself open. It seemed vaguely familiar, but the Master told her never to think about it, so she simply...didn't.

Avalon, the kingdom of the changelings that stood for five hundred years, burned. The white trees and their golden leaves crackled in the flames, the green grass becoming a carpet of ashes, and the flowers of love cinders in the air.

"Please Twilight Sparkle, isn't there anything left of the real you at all?"

"There is no such thing as a 'true self', Your Majesty." Twilight said the other five in formation around the unicorn.

"Alright then. We were the closest thing we had to sisters! I'll wake you up, I swear it."

"Less chatting, more killing!" Fluttercruel leapt at the Alicorn, with blades on her hooves and wings.

Three Spikes rammed into her from different angles, claws and fangs flying, knocking back the element of chaos. Traitor Dash caught her and placed her down, TD staining her forelegs red.

The real Spike, hovering in the air a mile off, gasped slightly through his muzzle-straps at the sight. Master Discord shifted his weight on top of him watching the whole scene through opera glasses while eating nachos. "Curs, don't they know blind-siding someone is only fair when my little Princess does it?"

The changelings shifted to their true forms, their white coats gleaming in the flames of what had five hundred years ago been the much smaller Everfree Forest until the Goddess of Harmony had bent its wild magics it to her will.

"I told you all to evacuate, Sting," Queen Cadence said lowly, more like a mother questioning her child than a ruler reprimanding a subject.

"Everyone else is safe, Your Majesty."

"You should obey your Queen's orders without hesitation or question," Twilight admonished the changelings.

"We love our Queen and we won't abandon her!" Said one of the other changelings, bending her butterfly wings and lowering herself to the ground snorting. "Not even to you!"

"Especially to you!" Said the last one narrowing her true blue eye.

"We love her more than the sun and the moon," all three mares voiced together.

"Come on." Traitor Dash almost begged, "We've smashed the Sun Heart Stone-thingie or whatever-" "-mineminemineminemine-" Went Rarigreed. "-You've got nothing left, Avalon no longer exists. Just leave Queen Cadence and save yourselves."

"Morons! The changeling Queen isn't just a queen, she's Mother to all changelings!" Sting snapped.

"As long as Queen Cadence lives, Avalon lives!"

"No, Morning Glow," The Queen said, "As long as any of you live, Avalon lives. You can accept love from others instead of just taking the love I've given you, like your predecessors. You've grown into something better. You can make a new Avalon, a better one, to live in with the peoples you'll protect."

"That's the most gloomy and dark thing Ah've ever heard," Liarjack whispered.

"Sounds like the same changeling-parasites to me!" Angry Pie snapped, "After five hundred years they're still the same emotion suckers!"

"YOU NAG, YOU-" Began Sting before Cadence interrupted her calmly. The flames continues to burn, the immortals not caring about the smoke and the changelings enduring it. The flaming meteor-showers Discord had sent down on the land immune to his magic had been endless and a fire put out started by one, only encourage five more to rain down.

"There is a difference between parasites and symbiotes. I think you once understood that." Queen Cadence said, every word, every second, a delay on these once-pony-monsters beginning to hunt down her subjects. She looked to Twilight sadly. "Have you really stopped learning, Twilight? You used to love it so."

"I am learning only what what I need to learn."

Cadence looked disappointed. "That fact saddens me greatly."

"Look! You held out against Discord of five frikkin' centuries! You gave ponies somewhere they could hide in exchange just for loving your subjects! But it's over now! Just submit to Maser and I'm sure he'll be merciful!"

Discord put on his sunglasses and called out with his megaphone, "Nope! Definitely gonna torture her horribly if she gives up! Sorry Dashie!"

Traitor Dash's face fell.

Twilight Tragedy said, "If you had simply replaced your heart with the stone, it would have been in the safest place imaginable."

"I'd have to have given up a part of myself that I am not willing to surrender for that. You've replaced your hearts with the Elements of Chaos, and it's cost you everything you were."

Liarjack hid her eyes behind her hat and Traitor Dash looked down in despair and self-loathing.

"These changelings will devolve back into the sociopaths they were before you. You have accomplished exactly nothing in five hundred years. From nothing, to nothing, creation and destruction evens out to zero." Tragedy said calmly.

"If you believe that, then I'm sorry Twilight," Queen Cadence said softly.

"DON'T LISTEN TO THEM YOUR MAJESTY! WE'LL NEVER BE THE MONSTERS OUR ANCESTORS WERE!"

"Your ancestors were slaves Lady Bug, not monsters. Never confuse this."

"You saved us."

"I merely gave your ancestors the second chance everypony deserves."

+++

Cadence looked down at Chrysalis. "Why?"

The love within the Changeling Queen spent, she slowly broke apart into tiny black ash as her body tried to starve off the end by consuming itself. Chrysalis stood and faced her eye to eye even as cracks appeared in her legs.

Her voice was hoarse as she spoke,
"Since dawn of memory we have cowered in the shadows of history.
Feeding on you cattle and retreating like criminals into the dark."

Her wings dissolved into dust.

"Our nests hidden like some unholy shame.
Our own history forgotten.
Our true faces forever masked.
We tire of this hollow existence.
WE DESERVE A NATION OF OUR OWN!"

One of Chrysalis' legs broke off and shattered when it hit the ground. Chrysalis glanced at it in a moment of fear but glared defiantly at the Alicorn to the end. Chrysalis' royal guard lay already broken around them.

"...Your eyes. Why are they different?"

"What?!" Those were the Alicorn's last words to her-?!

"The paintings of the previous queens in the hallway had the same eyes as the rest of your swarm. Why are yours different?"

"Heh!" A fang broke off. "I wish I knew myself, cattle. But I know one thing, those fat slugs were never family of mine."

"You're all alone."

"Clop off cattle. I won't die with your pity!" By now the only thing holding her body together was the Queen's own will power. Cadence involuntarily felt impressed.

"Discord has left the world with love nearly non-existent. And what love there is your people can not reach to sustain yourselves. . . I came here hoping for help." Cadence's eyes widened. "You attacked me to kill you!"

"I was first hoping I could dominate you. Maybe you could have fed the entire swarm yourself, made us powerful enough to put an end to the mad monster and take Equestria for our own. But better death in battle than crumbling into dust while ruling a dead shadow kingdom of dying tribes... I leave it all to you little pony." Chrysalis laughed that then turned into a hacking cough as her chest cracked and began to collapse. She lunged at Cadence, the Alicorn braced herself, but was stunned when Chrysalis embraced her. A flash of light, and the Changeling Queen's body was ashes on her coat.

And Cadence's eyes shrunk to pin pricks as she suddenly remembered another life, a realm beyond this one, of Celestia and Luna, not her aunts, but her sisters, and two forces that had been her Parents before the ones she knew and loved who had been taken by Discord. Draconequi. A war beyond wars. Hugging Rota Fortuna as the goddess of fate cried over her torn off wing obtained as an enemy captive. Justitia's mask of the iron hearted warrior cracked from tears as the Justice Alicorn carried Currus' Chariot behind her, her brother forcing his portfolio, his very being, into her rather than have Havoc devour him.

The Alicorn dropped her barriers surrounding the entrances to the 'royal chamber' (a hastily set up room furnished for their Queen). The changelings swarmed in, stopping in awe at the goddess before them, sensing something strange about her, familiar.

She spoke in the Royal Canterlot Voice, for the first time she could remember,
"I AM FOURTEENTH MI AMORE CADENZA EQUESTRIA. CONCEPT OF MUSIC AND HARMONY. PRINCESS OF BINDS AND JOY! QUEEN CHRYSALIS KIPEPEO LINSILA AVALON IS DEAD. WHAT SAY YOU?"

The black insect creatures looked at each other. Confused compound eyes looking into confused compound eyes. Horns meant for stabbing not magic dulled and cracked. Finally they bowed and hissed in their own language. "'Long Live The Queen Of The Changelings. Long Live Queen Cadence.' "

"And long live you all. Accept the love of your Queen." Light shined from her horn.

++++

"For the first time ever, your people were given what they always had to take. I just gave them a chance to become more than what they were. To evolve. I couldn't be more proud."

Cadence looked at Twilight. "You believe that creation and destruction balances everything to zero, but others believe destruction is the chance for a fresh start from zero. A second chance to rebuild what was lost into something better than it was before, like a Phoenix beginning it's new life from the ashes of its old body. If you're really holding the other side of Magic shouldn't you know that better than anypony?"

"THIS IS BORING!" Angry Pie hissed.

"MORE THAN THAT IT'S STUPID! WHY AREN'T WE KILLING HER ALREADY? ARE WE WAITING UNTIL WE'RE FIGHTING IN A FIELD OF ASHES?!" Fluttercruel snapped.

"Let them have their melodrama young mare," Discord called out downing a two liter bottle of soda at once. "I brought plenty of video tape!"

Cadence gritted her teeth.

"Lady Bug, Morning Glow, Sting, assume my form."

"Yes, Your Majesty!" They echoed and were engulfed in blue flames.

"Wow this is gonna be an original fight," Liarjack declared.

"You think I can't pick up tells from decoys?" Rarigreed asked drolly sounding insulted.

"My subjects, what am I to you?"

Sting shouted in Cadence's voice, "You are the light in our darkness!"

Morning Glow said, "You liberated us from slavery."

Lady Bug whispered, "You're our mother. All of us."

"Lady Bug... from this day forth, your name is Princess Mi Amore Cadenza Equestria Avalon."

"WHAT?" Morning Glow and Sting said together then looked at their swarm mate in awe. Her horn glowed briefly blue, then the aura shattered and turned to yellow.

Spike blinked a mile away, "Wha-?" Dragon brain need reboot.

Discord lowered his sunglasses and narrowed his eyes, "What's this now?"

Tragedy kept her mouth shut in confusion.

"HUH-?! Did she just give away--Ow! My head hurts!" Rarigreed held her skull.

"Did she just-" Traitor Dash stared.

Angry Pie felt nothing.

Fluttercruel narrowed her eyes.

"Well that doesn't make a lick of sense," Liarjack said.

"Your Majesty! Why are you-" Lady Bug began.

"The changelings will need a new queen no matter how this battle turns out. Sting, Morning Glow, take your Princess and insure she escapes here unharmed."

In visible pain, the two other changelings said, "Y-Yes, Y-Your Majesty."

"NO!" Lady Bug cried.

"That's a command from your Mother."

Lady Bug lowered her head, "Yes, Your Majesty."

"I am not the Majesty, that is your position now. Don't worry Lady Bug. Even if you won't be able to see me, I promise I will always be walking alongside you. Now go!"

Morning Glow and Sting took the Princess and vanished in a swirl of blue flames (though the ones surrounding the Princess were yellow), to who knows where, knowing better than to risk flying away and become tempting targets.

"Let me go you moron!" Fluttercruel back-hoofed TD, "They had their backs exposed!"

"Master didn't say 'attack' yet."

"HE SAID ATTACK AFTER HE RAINED FIERY DEATH DOWN ON THIS LOSER NEVER NEVER FOREST, LOSER!"

Liarjack was meanwhile also holding Angry Pie back as well, LJ's broken eye socket would regenerate quickly enough.

"Don't worry!" Discord called out, "I have all the cameras in place now for the bloopers reels, the DVD release, and the making-of! Now my young mare: kill'er."

"'BOUT BLOODY TIME!" Fluttercruel flew sidesways.

"Well Ah guess the rest of us can just can just hang-"

"And the rest of you too!"

"AT! LAST!" Angry Pie roared and charged head on.

"Harmony," Cadence whispered, her banter to Discord lost under the assault of six fighters with five hundred years experience.

"A darling regalia with matching horseshoes! Mine! And diamond dust! All the diamonddust!" She actually gave herself a short rub in the ashes as she charged at Cadence, still carrying the remains of the artifact with her telekinesis.

Twilight Tragedy never understood why while Rarigreed saw rocks as precious gems, that she still saw regular gold and jewels still as gold and jewels after all.

'What are you waiting for, my little Liarjack?'

'Ah've got no reason to fight anythin', you've got nothin' left to take from me. Ah'm nothin'.'

'Is that so? What do you think will happen if Cadence reawakens Rarigreed and my Twilight's memories? Care to guess? The awful full truth of the awful things they've done... Realizing the monsters they've become. Or do you want that? If you do, maybe I'll just do it right now-'

'-Ah'm goin' Master.'

'Good pony.'

Traitor Dash fidgeted, the last to move.

'You know Dashie, there's a small chance that if you sit out this fight your group might lose, and well, maybe I need to find six OTHER emotionally crippled or insane ponies to be my gofers instead, maybe some of those hippogriffs will make better holders than you. After your friends are disposed of, and I finish violating the minds of some OTHER innocent ponies into-'

'And if Cadence beats you too?'

'Then so goes my magic, and Sky Ocean and all the sea ponies in it fall and go-'

Traitor Dash moved like a streak of light towards Cadence in a zigzag pattern, tears briefly in her eyes.

"Twilight, I am so sorry," Queen Cadence whispered.

"Ponies of chaos
Ponies of chaos
The world is in your hooves,"

Angry Pie, in a blur, punched down on Cadence's head, but she connected with the forest ground instead, kicking up a cloud of ash and cinders, obscuring her vision and leaving her standing in an impact crater. She shook her head, the queen's words resonating in her head, making her feel dizzy.

"WHERE IS SHE-?!" POW!

Before the dust even cleared a hoof stomped on her from above, leaving her in a pony-shaped impression in the ground.

"So much for that sixth sense of yours I heard about!

"Please remember." Cadence touched her horn to Angry Pie's head. The gray and red mare screamed like an animal. Her eyes became lifeless dots as her body fell over sideways, rigid, her face frozen in a hateful howl as drool slowly came out of her mouth. Even her limp rearleg held its pose.

"Wind of Blades!"

A flurry of grip-less edge weapons whistled through the air at the queen as she countered with a powerful wind of her own, knocking them off course.

"But I will fight until the end.
Ponies of chaos
Discord of chaos
I won't follow your commands,
But I will fight and I will stand."

Fluttercruel felt the words resonate in her ears, breaking her concentration and allowing Cadence to dive through the opening right at the yellow Pegasus. Cadence drew upon magic based purely upon her Concept and managed to stab her horn into Fluttercruel's shoulder as she continued to sing.

"When discord falls,
Pain is all,
The Ponies of chaos
will leave behind,
but I will fight."

As Fluttercruel shook her head to clear it, the rainbow colored light spread, leaving cold lifeless stone in its wake.

"DAMMIT!" Fluttercruel snarled, and with her other forehoof she shattered her stone shoulder and foreleg and dropped as Cadence flew over her, her horn now holding nothing. Fluttercruel hissed as bones and muscle grew as fast as they could to replaced the petrified parts of her body.

Discord gritted his teeth at the sight.

Tragedy teleported next to the completely stiff Angry Pie and touched her horn to Angry's chest. Blue electric sparks like those the color of Pinkie Pie's old element of Harmony spread over the angry mare, who blinked and drew in a breath, then stood up and instinctively punched the nearest thing near her, which was Twilight. "Thank you!" Angry Pie spat out.

"You are welcome," Twilight answered emotionlessly.

Traitor Dash created a Sonic Darkboom sending the ashes out in a sphere as the burning trees were knocked off their roots, many grateful to be put out of their misery while the rest silently cheered the Alicorn on.

Cadence magically caught Traitor Dash with a barrier spell and telekinesis, magically enhanced her wings to buffer air, and was pushed through the air flying backwards from the force of TD's head on impact.

"Our love is lost,
beauty and light,
have vanished from
garden of delight.
The dreams are gone,
the last hour has come,
madness is our the kingdom."

Finally she managed to throw Traitor Dash above her as her enchanted song broke the Pegasus' focus for the moment she needed. The two became zipping lines in the sky above the burning trees.

A flash of blue flame, and Morning Glow appeared and shouted, "I'm sorry Your Majesty! I couldn't just-" A purple beam of light destroyed one of her wings from nowhere and she began to fall. "Your Majesty!"

Cadence created a flash of white light blinding TD and dove for her subject, who turned into Liarjack, who used both her back legs to buck the Alicorn in the snout hard, cracking bones and drawing blood, knocking Cadence back. LJ fell the ground with a thud creating a plume of ash as she fell on top of a burn tree that scorched the skin off her back.

"Thanks for the teleport Twilight." LJ coughed out, her spine stitching itself back together.

"You are welcome."

TD recovered her sight and Sonic Darkboomed Cadence in the back sending both down into the ground below, which created yet another crater. Before the first specks of ash hit the dirt a cyan pegasus came screaming out of the debris, while being carried on the point of a massive beam of light blue magic that made her a dot in the sky. She began to fall straight down, blubbering like a baby, mumbling apologies to long dead ponies.

Cadence brought up a barrier from all sides even before she sensed the swarm of fireballs coming from one direction with another fleet of edged weapons from the other. Within seconds pieces of wood flying at twice the speed of bullets hammered into her shield from yet another direction.

"GRAAAAH!" Angry Pie, ignoring what attacks accidentally hit her, leapt on top of Cadence's omi-barrier and began to kick, punch, and most of all head-bang against it causing the ground under Cadence's hooves to shake.

Liarjack meanwhile, made a beeline for Traitor Dash and leapt towards her and caught her before she crashed. She knew TD would just regenerate, but that was besides the point. She hesitated for a moment, looking back to the battle with a mix of emotions... As TD blubbered Liarjack whispered, "It's alright, it's fine, everythin's just fine, nothing's bad, nothin's wrong, nothin' hurts, nothin' is wrong, ya ain't got no reason to cry, yer a big tough pony, it's alright." Liarjack stroked TD's mane as she shuddered from the horrible, horrible TRUTH Cadence's magic had hit her with.

"Ponies of chaos
Ponies of chaos
The world is in your hooves,
But I will fight until the end.
Ponies of chaos

Discord of Chaos
I won't follow your commands,
But I will fight and I will stand."

Cadence had no intention of staying pinned down and forced her magic into the ground, using the ashes as fertile soil . She grew several trees from forgotten nuts in the ground, silently apologizing for using them this way as they bravely gave up their brief lives to absorb damage. A growing branch impaled Angry Pie while the magical music distracted the Earth Pony. The mare hissed and snarled as it grew, pushing her away from the top of the barrier. She broke it off before it grow much inside her and ripped it bloodily out of her. She landed on her able rearleg and hissed to herself, gasping for breath and waiting for her lungs to start working again as the massive wound tried to close itself.

Cadence wasn't prepared for when a different colored version of her spell blasted through the trees and rocketed off her still unbroken barrier and the ground it encased below her tumbling like a bowling ball. Cadence ended the spell and did a rapid succession of random teleports to throw off her opponents.

"It's nice to see you can still learn new spells on the fly as fast as ever."

"There is no magic I can't copy," The expression less Twilight said in a tone not unlike pride.

"So, you admit you learned a spell your Master didn't tell you to learn?"

"It is what I needed to learn."

A stone pegasus flapping its wings in an imitation of actual flight telekinetically burst out of the ground and tried to tackle Cadence, who swiftly dodged it. Two more stone imitation pegasi were lifted out of the ground and came to attack her, mimicking different martial arts techniques simultaneously.

"Louis! Daniel! Paul! Show her what you've got!" Rarigreed shouted standing on top of another stone imitation pegasus as she magically raised it. She had five hundred years of practice.

But so did Cadence. She felt a flying dragon kick give her mane a close shave and stabbed a golem with her horn, hitting it with a blast of massive cold then a blast of heat a moment later the stone pegasus blasted apart.

"DANIEL!!!" Rarigreed cried out in horror. "Come back to mommy, sweeties! Mommy won't let the bad mare hurt you!"

The stone imitations of ponies made the illusion of 'flying' back to their 'mother' via Rarigreed's telekinesis.

"Why didn't you get a shot in!" Angry Pie snapped at Twilight.

"I couldn't score a hit without destroying one of Rarigreed's 'children.'"

"SO-?!"

"Do you want to be on the receiving end of an angry mother?"

"It would be you." Angry Pie growled and coughed up blood, not yet completely regenerated.

"You'll PAY FOR HURTING MY BABY DANIEL YOU NAG!" Rarigreed growled.

Cadence sighed. "'Daniel' was a puppet with your own magic! It didn't have a life, it didn't have a mind!"

"WHAT RIGHT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY WHAT ISN'T AND IS ALIVE WITCH-?! THEY'RE MINE! MINE! MINE!" Rarigreed magicked the stone pegasus she wasn't standing on to nuzzle her as she lovingly put her hooves around their necks.

Soft gray-yellow feathers gently fell around Cadence, which turned into knives, razors and switch blades as they fell. Cadence, for a moment, though they were another illusion of Liarjack's until she felt one very real knife graze her side and felt Fluttercruel's spiritual essence. The blade turned to stone when its magic touched her blood.

"NOW, TWILIGHT!" 'Cruel shouted from high above diving down.

Tragedy fired another imitation of Cadence's beam attack and Cadence teleported away. But the blade that had cut her side teleported with her and gave Fluttercruel a glaring signal to where she'd reappear. FlutterCruel drop kicked her in the cut side, the blood making the bottom of her hooves turn to stone. 'Cruel ignored it and tore more feathers out of her own wings, that quickly regenerated, the torn off ones turning into daggers and corrugated knives. The weapons turned to stone as soon as they made contact with Cadence, but Fluttercruel had plenty where they came from.

"Hunt goes on,
deep in the night,
time to pray,
down on your knees,
you can't hide from the
eternal light,
until my last
breath I will fight".

Fluttercruel grunted, shaking her head to try and clear it. Using the distraction, Cadence created a series of stormclouds above them using enhanced pegasus magic and the lightning went straight for the mess of metal weapons that 'Cruel had created and prepared to use before being stunned. She ignored the bloody stone weapons around Cadence. The gigavolts of electricity had fried her motor functions.

Cadence blasted her in the gut with magic based on harmony, turning her stomach and secondary organs to stone.

At that moment a stone imitation pegasus came between them, doing a double-inside-out loop followed by a rather majestic corkscrew that Cadence barely managed to avoid, distracted by the professional looking acrobatics. She took the time to regenerate her own wounds, making a gamble by dividing her attention further.

Fluttercruel hit the ground, the stone parts of her shattering and regenerating.

"That's it Soarin' dear! Keep her busy just a bit!" Rarigreed cheered on the collection of rocks shaped like pegasi. Her constantly glowing horn shined even more and the destroyed pile of rocks that had been 'Daniel' reshaped into an imitation of a pegasus mare with a stone replica of a fiery mane. Rarigreed magicked it to fly up to her and nuzzle her gently flapping its wings though her magic was what was lifting it up. "Go help your brother, Spitfire."

The collection of random rocks was made to nod and flew (more like threw) at the Alicorn, joining the other puppet.

Cadence was thrown off her center, not from fighting two of Rarigreed's 'children' at once, but from the sickeningly familiar maneuvers and flight styles of the stone puppets. Every nuance, every motion, was tethered to the names she had called her puppets. Realization and pity rippled through Cadence.

"Your 'children' are nothing more than replacements for those you'll never get back, aren't they?"

Cadence was startled when the puppets ceased their attack and were made to look at each other then at Rarigreed, all three for a moment seeming very shocked.

"It's not true babies! She's just saying that! Mommy loves you! Don't let up!" Rarigreed said in the most heartfelt voice Twilight remembered her ever using. "Even if you fall you'll still be with mommy!" The puppets nodded and resumed their two pronged assault.

Fluttercruel got up, having fully healed. She cupped her hooves and shouted, "HEY! Angry! How about some real double team?"

"Just remember! I might look like I'm having fun with you! But I won't be!" Angry said fully healed as well.

"Wouldn't have it any other way." Cruel grinned.

"YOUNG MARE WITHDRAW!" Discord's voice bellowed through the air. Coming from anyone else, Fluttercruel could have sworn he sounded, concerned?

"You're joking, Master!"

"THAT WASN'T A SUGGESTION!" Discord roared.

"I can take her!"

"NOW!!!"

Fluttercruel pouted, "Fine!" Fluttercruel threw a miniature blizzard of throwing stars at Cadence's face, making a hasty retreat in the added confusion.

Cadence, like any intelligent and long lived Alicorn with many enemies, had countless enchantments in place to prevent something or somepony from being teleported directly inside her, let alone a fireball being manifested directly in her lungs' air.

"Now realize, the stars they die,
darkness has fallen in paradise.
but we'll be strong, and we will fight,
against the creatures of your blight."

This was annoying for Twilight who for other such dangerous opponents could try to teleport inside her: suicide for a normal pony, but being immortal did have its advantages. So, she calculated a new strategy. No easy feat, with the Alicorn's enchanted song resonating in her ears, making it even more difficult for her to get her thoughts in order. After a moment of jumbled thought, she simply magicked up a pair of ear plugs, surprised she had not thought of that before.

Master had made Fluttercruel retreat, and Cadence telekinetically redirected the throwing stars at Rarigreed, when one of her children quickly took the blow and threw them back at their actual target.

It was only a matter of time before Cadence destroyed another of Rarigreed's 'children' and she became reckless with 'loss.'

Liarjack was still helping Traitor Dash recover from Cadence's magic attack.

Angry Pie was fully ready and could be teleported above Cadence if the Alicorn was properly distracted to make a crushing blow. Distracted by two stone imitation Wonderbolts? Yes that worked.

Sadly, that WOULD have been the case if Rarigreed didn't withdrawn her puppets at that moment.

'Louis', and 'Paul', still flanking Rarigreed riding atop their 'brother', shifted shape as Rarigreed's horn magic increased slightly for a moment, the rocks making the imitations up shifting about utill they resembled instead a Earth Pony stallion with a slick mane and a unicorn stallion with a cultured and high class mane style. They floated next to Rarigreed's ears as if they were capable of saying something.

"Yes Filthy Rich, and you too Fancy Pants, mother has trust in her children, but this bad mare might just be too much for you to handle. I can't imagine how I'm going to break the news to Tom about Daniel. No, no, no, I'll be careful. Her crown and armor will look simply lovely in the diamond room don't you agree? I knew you would! Soarin'! Spitfire! Come back to your mother!"

The stone ponies imitated flying back as Rarigreed pulled them back towards her. "Eh? Don't worry Filthy, I'll steal your wife and child from Master's collection someday."

'She's doing ALL of this with telekensis-?!' Cadence thought. 'How is that even possible? Even Twilight's reserves would be hard pressed for this!'

Cadence was pushed out of her thoughts as she sensed the fireball, the lightning spell right behind it, along with the shards of ice behind that!

"Oh no you don't, Twilight!" Cadence shouted as she redirected all three spells like a train around her, back towards their original position. Twilight teleported away before the three spells annihilated the ground where she stood.

Angry Pie came down above her, but Cadence safely caught her out of range of her three flaying hooves, holding her up by her forth limp one.

Angry Pie hissed and snarled at her like a mad animal.

"Why are you even working for Discord little pony? What do you have to gain from it?"

"I don't know and I don't care! Discord's world is the kind of world where ponies learn not to laugh at anything because they know that it could happen to them next! That'll teach them to laugh at other ponies!"

"You just contradicted yourself. You said you didn't know or care about your motive, but then you went along and gave one."

"Buck you!" Angry Pie . . . 'disconnected' her limp limb, and blood flowing, she swung from the disconnected leg with her forelegs, and rammed her head into Cadence's chest like a freight train.

"Stop this! This isn't you! Twilight would never have made friends with a bully who hated laughing!"

"You can bet your bacon it's me!"

"I don't think so-" A rock teleported next to Cadence. One first flash frozen with an ice spell, then super headed from within and teleported away a split second before it exploded. This attack forced Cadence to drop Angry Pie, who by now had regenerated a new, still non-functional fourth leg.

Pieces of part white hot, part burning cold stone struck Cadence's body like shrapnel. Cadence sensed the next teleported rock and began to fly in an unpredictable pattern, the mine field coming into being as she flew chaotically. Cadence hastily split her mind between flying madly, magically healing the damage done to her body, and back-tracking the teleportation spells to their source.

Cadence's sense drew her to a stone built Avalonian bakery alongside what had been a dirt road. Along with any other private buildings set in what been the 'peace and beauty of the Everfree' the roof now burned down.

She summoned a rainstorm low to the ground above the impact crater from Angry Pie's miss. She silently shaped a lightning cloud above the bakery whose cement blocks were vanishing one by one.

She teleported the mass of water right between the black cloud (near invisible in this smoke and fire) and where the roof had been, and less than a second later, had the lightning cloud unleash its payload!

"BWA-WA-WA-WA-WA-WA-WA-WA-WA-WA-WA-!!!" Twilight Tragedy lit up like a christmas tree. Her earplugs popped out. The lightning didn't stop as Tragedy's brain was overloaded. Finally the light show ended and Tragedy stood smoking, the remote minefield assault over. She didn't move a muscle, with a look of faint surprise and awe on her face. Then rolled her eyes in the back of her head and collapsed VERY MUCH unconscious.

Cadence looked down at Angry Pie whose bones had finished resetting.

Cadence's eyes and horns glowed, and light blue chains burst out of the ground like snakes and wrapped around Angry Pie until she was concealed like a mummy, keeping her perfectly harmoniously balanced and immobile, a peaceful and warm hymn vibrating through the chains directly into Angry Pie's brain, the mad pony mollified like any savaged beast soothed by music, probably the most calm she'd been in centuries. "Enjoy the peace you've longed for... " Cadence whispered.

Cadence looked at Discord a mile off sitting using Spike like a couch, Fluttercruel having joined him sulking as she munched a bucket of rabbit-mic-nuggets as her Master shoveled popcorn into his mouth.

Queen Cadence flew straight for him. Discord stopped feeding his face. Cadence cut the time very shortly by teleporting half way.

Discord's eyes widened and grabbed Fluttercruel and reared his arm back... So that Fluttercruel could grab Spike's tail and hold on tight as Discord swung and Fluttercruel let go, throwing the dragon right at Cadence.

Cadence had been prepared for dodging a cursing Fluttercruel, not a gasping dragon. Her altered flight path did not adjust enough and the impact sent them both crashing into the ground.

Cadence sensed Discord teleport away along with Fluttercruel.

"Now Spikey-Wikey don't go damaging her jewelry! I WANT IT!"

" . . . yesth Rarity." Spike sighed through the enchanted straps keeping his jaw closed. "I'm sorry Cadenceth."

"Not your fault Spike." Cadence said under tons of dragon flesh and teleported out from under him.

"Come on my babies! We'll fight together!" Rarigreed declare, the remains of the artifact that had empowered the changelings and Avalon along with 'Soarin', 'Spitfire' 'Filthy Rich' and 'Fancy Pants' and her 'steed' broke apart and still glowing from her magic, covered her like a winged suit of armor with emblems like the faces of Canterlot elite ponies from a thousand years ago. This armor made her twice the size of Cadence.

The dizzy and hurt Spike made no effort to aid or hinder the mad unicorn, he only looked upon her with sad eyes.

The glow never stopped, ever, each piece of rock being gripped and animated by Rarigreed's horn magic.

"How are you doing this?" Cadence asked, she doubted even Rarigreed's magic or her Element of Chaos could empower her this much.

Rarigreed spoke in a sensual voice, like the touch of each dirty rock brought nirvana,
"All that I want I take. And I want it all.
My treasures are mine. My babies are mine.
I lay claim to all that falls within my sight
To take what I want, that is my right."

Cadence admonished herself for expecting a straight answer out of the mad mare.

"Afraid?"

"Yes. But not for myself. I fear for my subjects and the uncertain future they must build for themselves, but I have faith in them, and I wasn't lying when I said no matter what I would forever walk among them and with them. I fear for you, lost in Discord's sway."

"I was blind, naive, stupid, and serving to parasprites before I was introduced to Tom. Master just gives . . . .just gives me all the best treasures."

"Your treasures are rocks, and your 'family' are puppets. Made to replace the one thing you want more than anything, but can never get back."

"DIE LIAR!!!!" Pieces of the armor flew off like bullets as Rarigreed did a tornado kick at Cadence's neck. "THEY LIVE!!!"

Cadence blocked it with a wing, the ground beneath her gave way inches deep.

The queen felt a radiant calm wash over her. "I see through each and everyone of you."

"YOU TAKE BACK WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT MY JEWELS!"

"A pony who has confused all truths for painful truths, and deception and falsehoods for mercy and the love for her friends she truly feels."

Cadence froze the stones around Rarigreed's right rear leg, shattering them.

"A pony terrified of choices and decisions, frozen in her heart in indecision, because she can recognize the value of everyone, and refuses to face the pain of losing anyone."

Rarigreed screamed and brought her front right hoof down on Cadence's head. It stopped dead when it touched the tip of her horn, and Cadence spread her light blue magic through it, canceling out Rarigreed's own telekinesis. The rocks fell to the ground lifeless.

"A pony who has felt one emotion for so long that she knows nothing else, does not want know nothing else, can know nothing else, because she has mistaken happiness for weakness, and believes the only way to not be a child is to act as a hateful child."

Rarigreed hissed and fire her 'wings' at Cadence, the small rocks as uncountable as an insect swarm. They stopped midway, half colored Cadence's shade of blue, and the other half Rarigreed's.

Alicorn and unicorn struggled, Cadence was very surprised at how much force Rarigreed had, but she was still a goddess. The rocks reversed course into Rarigreed's armor and stabbed her exposed parts. "OW! DON'T HURT MOMMY!"

"A pony so long in the darkness, she just wants it to end, so the monster given her body can bring no more misery on Equestria and she can finally enter My Father's heart."

"ENOUGH!" Rarigreed relentlessly swung her four hooves at the Alicorn, her motions a blur, screaming her lungs out in frustration.

Cadence was equally deft in her dodge and blocks of Rarigreed's onslaught. "And you, who has become so fixated on the tiny trivial trinkets around her that she can't see the real treasure staring her in the face!"

Cadence flash froze several of the stones around her, that quickly covered Rarigreed, then superheated them an instant later. The explosion was muted perfectly by the soundproof force field that Cadence created as a sphere around the pony before detonation.

Rarigreed fell, her rock armor burying her as her telekinesis stopped when she lost consciousness.

"Look after her," Cadence told Spike who nodded. Cadence teleported to Twilight's side. The little pony still unconscious. Not being naive to the danger surrounding her, she raised a force-field around herself and Twilight for their protection.

"And my little pony. Who actually taught me so much even as I taught her. So frustrated that ponies aren't as easy to read as books. A little filly who loved to learn, and loved her family, but considered friends to be excesses. A flower who had only started to bloom, and when she for the first time experienced the hurt of losing friends, it struck to her core."

Cadence touched her horn to Twilight Tragedy's head, "Please remember." A dozen tiny hearts floated around the Alicorn before flowing into the unicorn.

Twilight Sparkle blinked her eyes open and looked up at her foalhood sitter. "Cadence? I'm-" Twilight Sparkle blinked away tears, "I'm so sorry, I'm so happy, I'm so scared, I'm feeling so great to see you!"

Twilight got up and they hugged each other. "And it's wonderful to see you too Twilight!"

"All the things I did! Everything I thought-!"

"It wasn't you Twilight!"

"But it was! I didn't want to feel anything! I didn't want to think anything! I didn't want to be anything!"

"It's alright! It's alright! We can talk later! I promise! But first let's go help the others!"

"RIGHT!" Twilight nodded vigorously. "Let's end this once and for all!"

They looked into each other's eyes, smiled, and said together,
"Sunshine sunshine ladybugs awake, clap your hooves, and do a little-!"

Six black rods impaled Queen Cadence's body, the lower halves slick with blood, the first shattering her force field so the others could follow, striking the moment her focus was fully on Twilight. They skewered through her at odd angles and impeded into the ground.

Holding onto a different black rod, was an element of chaos. Discord himself, wearing a hazmat suit, held the first one that had pierced her shield.

A dragon beaten to a pulp behind a timely silencing barrier, moaned desperately trying to force his broken arms, legs, tail, and wings to move, and failing.

Rarigreed scowled like a mother looking at someone who had harmed her child. Angry Pie gave a mutant hybrid growl/sigh. Fluttercruel grinned maniacally. Discord grinned even bigger. Liarjack hid her eyes behind her hat. Traitor Dash leaned her gut against the end of the rod, her face tear stained, mortified.

"Thanks for the distraction my Twilight Tragedy," Discord said in casual praise, giving one of his deep, bone-chilling chuckles.

Twilight's eyes were huge. Her legs were shaking. The light of her horn sparked and sputtered but no spells formed in her panicked and horrified mind.

Cadence tried to light her horn, but she felt like the rods were literally feeding off her magic. "T-twilight." Cadence tasted something metallic in her mouth. She coughed and red liquid came forth. Her lungs were pierced, she no longer had the ability to sing. Breathing was ripping them apart. "D-Don't listen to him, it's not y-your fault! RUN!"

"Run where Queen Cadence? As of today. I. Own. The world! Now I can make you a platinum statue to be used as bait for an epic rescue trap for your follows that'll backfire spectacularly on me... Naw. Let's skip that."

"Master?" Three of the minions asked confused.

"As far as saviors go," He gave a sick grin, and raised her paw, a small sphere of red light appeared in his palm. He floated behind the back of her head.

Cadence quickly looked at the slaves who had spoken, "I forgive-"

"You're only second rate!" A torrent of red light rampaged forth, annihilating her flesh, leaving her blackened skeleton visible for a moment before that too was torn down past its base atoms. Her crown, horseshoes, and harness fell, tarnished and scarred.

"MINE!" Rarigreed instinctively claimed her trophies.

"DON'T YOU TOUCH-"

"Oh be quiet." Discord snapped his fingers, and Twilight's jaw fused together and her mouth vanished.

"'Bout time someone shut her up," Angry Pie said about Twilight but looking more at the spot Cadence had existed a moment before, " . . . dammit."

"I'll deal with you in a minute." Discord said simply to Twilight Sparkle.

When Discord had slew Cadence, the lower parts of her legs had been missed. Fluttercruel took one by the bone and tore into the flesh.

Twilight Sparkle's eyes quivered as her hooves were suddenly encased in cement blocks. Tears streamed more and more down her face.

Liarjack kept her hat over her face as much as she could, but turned towards Twilight. "It...It's alright, Twili'... This is all just a nightmare...you're gonna...you're gonna wake up soon..." she said, likely the most unconvincing lie she'd ever told even as she poured her heart into it.

"Heeeeeyyyy," Fluttercruel stopped and turned around slowly at Traitor Dash, "I bet you want some of this, don't you Dashie?"

"NO! No no no! Not at all! None! Y-you can, you can-" Dash looked green.

"OH COME ON NOW! DON'T BE SHY!" She tackled Dash and straddled on top of her, "Open wide!" And began to force feed her. TD vomited, she forced it down again.

"STOP IT! LEAVE HER ALONE!" An already crying Liarjack scream leaping at Fluttercruel who backhoofed her with the hoof of what she had been holding. She was hit so hard her jaw broke.

"Who asked you? Oh right! No one! So shut up!"

Dash's body went limp to Fluttercruel annoyance she had stopped squirming. One thought pulsed in her mind, 'I deserve this. I deserve this. I deserve this.'

"You know this is hard on me too Twilight," Discord put a 'sympathetic' arm around Twilight Sparkle, "I didn't even get to play with her like I did a sister of hers, Galaxia, oh I need to tell you that story sometime. It's a story of happiness and wonderful and joy for me." Twilight's entire body shook. Her eyes were bloodshot. Her thoughts falling apart before she could even form them. The mad house scene before her replaying in her brain over and over and over and over AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER!!!!

"Ooooh, don't be sad Twilight, time to wake up, or maybe go back to sleep. Hard to tell which is which anymore, isn't it? You don't need to feel anything anymore." Twilight felt the gray, Twilight did not resist the gray, Twilight welcomed the gray, Twilight embraced the gray, Twilight wanted the gray, Twilight was the gray.

++++

"And every single bit of that is totally and utterly false and not the least bit true," Liarjack declared her forehooves visibly shaking, her face hidden with her hat as best she could.

Twilight Tragedy thought over everything she had heard, and asked, "But wait, how did you know that part between Cadence and Chrysalis?"

"Maybe Ah got it out of Ah changeling Queen Cadence told and felt it added to the narrative. Maybe."

"And the thoughts of the others?"

"Maybe they went and told me cause they knew no pony would believe a liar if Ah squealed to anypony. Maybe."

"I see," Tragedy replied as the night shifted to day again. A couple mad ponies outside the castle had a one-sneaker cheese-wiz war with the prize being a lifetime supply of singing pickles in a seven-sided tupperware box with a matching Gazorninplat.

The second most victory-ful pony getting a pet Kwyjibo.

The seaponies were cheering for Team Mayonnaise while Team Felt-Tip Pen had a decent cult following. They were currently leading sideways by three Whoopers to five Jabberwocks.

A seapony colt took the chance to steal a kiss from the seapony Waterflower.

"So that's why all those changelings were willing to die to just steal some bones and where those dented pieces of armor Rarigreed keeps underneath her room's floor stones came from. And why changeling flames are yellow when they used to be blue, and some of them before that had green."

"Nope. And Ah'm not sorry in the least for tellin' ya, and . . . It's a bad thing yer not feelin' anythin' rather than feelin' sad or angry."

"I see." She did not feel any of those things. But she did feel dizzy. And hot. And her stomach muscles were making strange contractions. And her vision was slightly blurry. Her hooves were shaking when she tried to be still. What was happening to her? "Thank you Liarjack, thank you . . . I believe, I wish to rest before Master's visit to the opera."

+++++

What do I think of my six little ponies? I don't think I've ever been actually asked that before. And I can't say I've given it all that much thought either. Well, might as well go down the list right?

Hmmmm. Give me a moment to think here. This is harder than I thought.

First there's Liarjack of course, my first one. Oh, just where did I go wrong with her? What happened to the shameless, gratuitous, prolific, pathological liar who would lie through her teeth about her own accomplishments and accusing others of wrongdoings that never happened and deny having just wronged a friend TO that friend?

Instead, I get a pony who has spent the last thousand years playing nurse to the whole lot of 'em no matter how much they abuse her and just keeps on smiling and wanting to see them happy. Even her lies to Twilight are done out of love , ugh. She's gotten the mechanics down without embracing the spirit.

How could she have gone so terribly wrong? I envisioned her juggling the elements in front of Twilight beautifully asking 'What Elements?' as she begged her to hand them over.

Now she just smiles and nods at everything Rarigreed says. She's even started wearing dresses and moving like a lady she's hanging around her so much! And she acts like Replacement Fluttershy to Traitor Dash. She dares to talk back to Fluttercruel. And just stands there and takes any beating Angry Pie give her without flinching.

Ah, Angry Pie she was truly a success. I completely outdid myself! A few well placed lies and her own beautiful and majestic backwards brain did the rest.

A total success. A complete success! Maybe too much a success... I crushed her little heart! I turned her oh so serious! Maybe a little too serious. I took that little ball of fun unpredictability and randomness and turned her into a one-note lump of aimless fury that beats to death anything that gets in her way. Maoi? Regret? I'm the absurd one around here. Gods don't feel regret. It's in our job description right after 'fundamental law of the universe' and before 'born before the dawn of time.'

When I kept Lulu from vaporizing her from time and space ,I knew she was a kindred spirit. A being of randomness and disorder, just like me. She and Surprise were truly best pony. And Surprise saw pranking me as a challenge, like I would, it was so much fun. It's little wonder Pinkie absorbing her shadow yielded such a beautiful ball of chaos. Then she had to go and get involved in that Elements of non-non-sense. Why couldn't that stupid wall-eyed pegasus have gotten the job instead? I had the names picked out for our first half-dozen kids and the ideas for the cloning mirror after turning/brainwashing Mrs. Cake into the perfect Sleipnir nanny and Mr. Cake into a good and willing nurse mare (had to toss out those plans). I'd let her name our first one though. Now those rooms are filled with Rarigreed's 'children.' Maybe I should start charging her rent.

Rarigreed. Credit where credit is due, she's managed to make a joke fresh for one thousand years. She deserves a medal. In fact I'll give her one! Now where is, oh, she took that already, my bad. I could have easily created a real diamond to draw out her inner vice. Oh she's no Fluttercruel. That greed was always there. I just got her to stop denying it and embrace it like an old lover. She should thank me.

So yes, I could have given her a real diamond, but this was more funny! Except we seemed to have lost our way to the punchline. At least she's come up with plenty of new and fascinating ways to tell the joke in the meantime.

She still knows gold and jewels when she sees them, it's just rocks are everywhere, so of course she stops to pick them up. It wouldn't be very greedy if she didn't take everything of value she laid her eyes on. And she's taken the joke in directions I didn't think she could. I guess I'm just curious as to where she could possibly take it next. The 'making stone golems to be the family she can never have' thing? That was all her. What a wonderful little joke she came up with!

And next is Traitor Dash, oh oh oh oh! She has NEVER stopped being so fun! So arrogant with her 'I'll always be loyal to the princess', thinking loyalty is something that can't be broken! Oh yes I enjoyed seeing her squirm, her oath that her devotion to Celly would never end, breaking in a matter of seconds with just the right choice pushed in front of her muzzle with no neat and tidy third option to latch upon these ponies are always so blindly expecting! If she'd chosen the other choice? Well then I'd have shown her her hometown crumbling before her eyes thanks to her choice on a high depth plasma screen. Like I said, she doesn't get to eat her cake and have it too.

Her loyalty to Celly was always going to end, sooner or later, pony hell or high water would come along, and she'd have had to choose, that's how life is, those are the rules (which I'll admit I hate on principle). And after all this, SHE STILL DOESN'T GET IT! So I get to enjoy watching her squirm and break over and over and over. And she tries to cheat, and finds out the world is ready is to cheat right back! Let her find neat and tidy black and white solutions and third options wrapped up with in a pretty bow now! She spent three hundred years trying to cheat and find third options to my games, until she finally got a clue.

And it's funny, for being technically by default my -least- loyal subordinate, she's easily become my most effective with the right carrot and stick (tell that to Fluttercruel, and I'll feed you to the parasprite!). I couldn't have come up with a more unfitting name. Them's irony. I'll admit that was the one thing about Rota Fortuna I like, that Alicorn knows her irony.

Oh Twilight, Twilight, Twilight, my dear Twilight Tragedy. So smart, so devoted, so logical, even when under the sway of ultimate chaos she's still writing out spread sheets and, ugh, organizing things. I think I could remove her brain and replace it with marbles and molasses and she'd still be writing out her timetable between staring at the wall and writing meaningless mad mantras.

At least she's efficient, and proven over, and over, and over, and OVER to be a good debugger. Yes, over and over... Never ending. Nothing-nothing! Just thinking, like I said, I haven't given these much thought!

Yes, I enjoy yanking her chain, knowing it'll take less than a thought from me to restore her to her proper and discorded state no matter how many times it happens or where it happens or how it happens. It's a great joke. If you can't see that, then you're a prude.

I JUST WISH SHE'D LIGHTEN UP! She has such a delightful inner crazy to bring out, I know it's there, but instead she keeps up her 'loyal zombie like following.' I've never been able to get her true crazy come out in her, no matter how many ways I've tried. She was so fixated on order she was on the verge of falling into chaos! Meh. She's a sad and broken toy, not the cheerful and giddy maniac I knew she could have been. At least she's does an admirable job of keeping things interesting and she's fun at parties.

Derpy Hooves? Am I going to really turn her daughter back from a muffin as soon as she finishes her eight, I correct myself, seven quadrillion laps around the castle? Of course. . . . Oh come on, believe me! Cross the thing that pumps my blood, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye! Geeze! I vowed upon my family I would! And the Old Lady hates having her name taken in vain, just ask...oh that's right, you can't, he never existed...Anyway I'm just going to offer to restore her -other- daughter if she does another nine quadrillion laps around the castle, with the number being cut in half if her little unicorn promises to trot them with her mother. I'll figure the interesting details later! Having her haul around a statue would be too boring, I've tried that joke before.

After that, I think I'll crown all three my court jesters or something, strangely nopony else has asked for the job, and they've all given me some good laughs. I could use some non-insane, non-ironic clowns. For right now, she makes a good timepiece going around the castle, (not that I really need one, but it's the thought that counts).

Spikey Wikey? What about him? I've turned door-to-door salesponies into vacuum cleaners more interesting than him. He barely even makes a good straight dragon! Whenever I'm not giving him the honor of carrying my perfect bod to where I choose, when I choose, how I choose, he just sit waiting for Twilight to give him his next scrub down! I swear it's like he's just waiting to die of old age now. I've tried turning him into something else, but he always acts the exact same way. If Twilight won't enjoy crazy land, her accessory doesn't get to either it seems.

I think one of these days I'll teleport him into one of Rarigreed's rooms, kick his hoarding instinct into overdrive, and watch them go at it. They'll either end each other, or end up making out on top of the pile of rocks. Would be entertaining at least. You think Rarigreed would have MORE in common with Spike now, after all, greed runs through both their veins. Yes. I think I will do that. When's the next pancake-rain day? I'll have the Derpy compose a sonnet (equal to thirty thousand laps) just for the two of them as they fight each other or get started on a new race of mutant dragon-ponies (honestly, I'm not sure which outcome I'm hoping for more). Which do you think? Dragon Force 'Dragon's Rule' or Dance Of The Sugarplum Breezie as background music? I think I'll double the lap worth if she can mix them together perfectly with the poem. What? You're surprised I enjoy music? A Spirit of Disharmony can't have his guilty pleasures?

I missed one? Who? Oh. Fluttercruel. I try to not think of her too much as 'my' minion. Have to give her own space to find out who she is after all.

She's grown into such a fine young mare. Always ready to help me spread havoc and anarchy across the land just when you think there's no havoc or anarchy left to spread! It warms my heart.

She was always so cute when she'd crush the throats of ponies trying to appeal to 'the poor scared Fluttershy inside.' She had the most carefree look on her face when I gave her a hamster for her to toy with on her birthday. It was never seen again.

The day she first learned that trick of making her feathers into weapons, I was so proud of her! I made the biggest downpour of the most bitter chocolate rain imaginable just for her! It may or may not have drowned one or five ponies, but that's the way the ball bounces.

Now she's become a pretty young mare who cuts her way through whole towns making the most cuddly laughter. . . Though I wish she'd have more diversity. There are so many horizons she isn't even trying to explore. It saddens me to see her not opening up to all the diversity and uniqueness of chaos, I don't know where she gets it.

Ugh. It took me centuries to get her to realize that killing ends the game, and when the game ends, there's no fun left to be had, and she had so much trouble grasping that ponies aren't infinite and more importantly every pony is unique. So beautifully unique. Each with their own fears, desires, insecurities, pet peeves, phobias, manias, dark sides, vices, and so many other wonderful special things. But it felt so satisfying when she finally understood. I still need to teach her that collateral damage is only fun if it's not on purpose though.

She never wears the dresses I give her, and always wears the ones she makes herself.

Do you think I'm imposing too much on her individuality? She might be just pushing back to prove she's her own person to me. Maybe it's not just one-on-one time I need to give her. Maybe I should get more involved in what she wants to do than forcing her to get involved in what I want. Now where's my battle axe of singing plaid madness?

I'll tell her as a surprise after we've had our outing to the seapony opera. Where's my tuxedo Ponythulu sent me for my last birthday? Eh, that might be too insanity inducing for the seaponies...Hm, I really need to expand my wardrobe.

Episode 71: (Shining Armor): ecnarbmemeR

Pony POV Series Shining Armor
ecnarbmemeR-Remembrance
By LZ0291 (with Revisions by Alex Walorn, Kendell2, and producers of the Pony POV Audio Adaption)

It really all began the day I was promoted, shortly before the return of Princess Luna. Promotion in the Equestrian Royal Guard, for officers, is a great honor. Like many great honors, there's a ceremony involved. One that those in charge prefer takes place at a certain time, and excuses you from normal morning duties.

And so it came to pass that, since the ceremony was at noon, I was more or less commanded to have a long lie-in. That didn't guarantee a good night's sleep though. I slept very lightly, in fits and starts. Awakening, very suddenly, after a mere hour in bed, only to realize there was nothing else for me to do but settle under the covers and drift off again. Awakening, while feeling as if I hadn't truly been asleep in the first place. Awakening, confused. And experiencing the strangest dreams, all the while.

Now, I'm no expert, but I've heard it said that the average pony experiences an average of four to six dreams during a typical night's sleep. Have you ever been able to remember the whole set? Knowing each is a dream but ultimately just an observer, like a spectator in a first-equine game like Left 4 Herd or Unreal Tourneighment? Each dream I had involved me, or, more precisely, a version of me.

I dreamed of myself as a Captain, not in the Royal Guard but in the Royal Air Force. I wore black armor, and I was referred to as a 'dark knight' more than once. It seemed the airships I commanded were known as the Red Wings.

Once I dreamed I was a mare counterpart of myself. It was a little strange but it really didn't seem much different. Just that all males were now females and females were males, but our personalities were pretty much unchanged. Patrols remained boring, the enlisted troopers remained prone to halting their chatter only when it became obvious an officer approached. Prince Solaris was still all-loving Alicorn with an impish streak and my brother was still a bookworm. As for his assistant... the pink apron actually looked a lot better on her . And dad as a 'mom' was actually a better housekeeper than Mom is!

I dreamed of myself wearing an eyepatch, talking to a strange group of ponies. One was a yellow pegasus holding a hammer aloft, another was an earth pony in red and gold magic-powered armor, one was a blue pegasus in a strange red white and blue costume, one was a white unicorn with a bow and a cutie mark to match it, one was a lavender unicorn mare in a form-fitting outfit holding two strange little box things with her magic, and the last was a hulking pink... earth pony hulk-thingy.

It seemed as if I had a dozen dreams, but I remember only snippets. I dreamed of myself as a small, fluffy version of myself that drowned stupidly fast when it began raining.

I dreamed of myself in a gray suit fighting off small gray minotauroids. I dreamed of myself in a red and black uniform being spoken to by a voice claiming to represent 'the Mysterons.'

I dreamed of myself in a black and red skintight outfit controlling a giant blue, white, and red machine; crushing the head of another machine with a glowing gold hoof. Oh and I dreamed of myself as a green girl pony with an unhealthy fixation on socks.

But none of those dreams capped the last one I had just before waking up! I dreamed that I fell OFF the bed to stand on my four groggy hooves. Ate a cheese sandwich backwards, -I mean out of my mouth and whole again!- put it back in its wrapper, then walked backwards out of my room! I walked backwards to the Officer's Lounge, where some friends welcomed me with a 'good-bye'. We then all sat down, took some empty cider mugs and... you get the idea.

Eventually though, I awoke and it was reality. I felt tired even as I forced myself from bed. I might as well have not slept at all.

There are many theories on dreams. They are windows to our souls, they display our subconscious desires, they're prophetic, they're messages from the Mare in the Moon (which turned out to be relatively true), or there's the theory that they are just a sign that somepony should lay off the cheese before bedtime. A theory the Equestrian Cheese Board are trying to counter, might I add.

I blinked a little and looked at my quarters. They were fairly standard for a billet in the officers' dormitories of the Canterlot Barracks. Bed, desk, bookshelf, armor stand, closet for any clothing the trooper may own, walk-in shower, and a map of the world on the wall all came as standard. From there the officer puts up posters, puts whatever books they want beside the half-dozen manuals of rules and regulations, and generally adds whatever they like to the room, within the restrictions (no big ones, but a million tiny ones). Overall my room was neat and tidy, but evidently lived in. Especially since I hadn't yet made the bed.

And yet, even though this had been my room since I was a mere cadet, today it felt... unfamiliar. As if I had suddenly standing in a counterfeit REPLICA of my room, instead of the real thing. I tried looking for what could've triggered this impression, but the best I could turn up was a wrapper for a cheese sandwich from the mess hall lying in the small trash can beside my writing desk.

Then my eyes landed on the map on the wall, and it seemed wrong. The continents were the wrong shape, something told me. Next second, I blinked... and suddenly everything seemed right again. The Equestrian continent was the center of the map, with Zebrafrica to our southwest, Neighsia and Equrope to our east. Yet something still felt off.

And then I thought I had it. My thinking at the time went like this:

"This map is a conventional map! Not an enchanted one that would let me use magic to enlarge certain areas and see more information. Larger than the issued map! Not the one that would normally hang in any officer's quarters!

"Yes, somehow my issued enchanted map was replaced with a plain old map! Fortunately, the right map has been rolled up and lies on the shelf here! I shall quickly put it up in place of the plain old map that was a gift from Twilight! A plain old map that... is staying exactly where it is, Shining Armor, you great moron! "

I facehoofed as this very important fact came to light. Quite apart from the fact I'd managed to forget just how important the map really was... Nopony even cared if the 'issued' map stayed up, and nine out of ten officers usually swapped it out for an extra poster of whatever Wonderbolt had all eyes on him or her at the moment, or the occasional Pony Rangers poster.

Yet doubt persisted. Something still seemed wrong. Out of place. I looked back at the wrapper in the trash, citing it as being at least the cause of this one way or another. Then it hit me as I truly woke up.

I was what was out of place.

It was oh five hundred hours! So much for a long lie-in. Oh well, I thought, first I'll shower, then put on my armor and...

...Horseapples, my armor isn't here, it's in the, er, armory. Getting upgraded to Captain's armor. Okay, maybe a uniform? Ah, wait, my red dress uniform is at a tailor's getting new rank symbols and buttons stitched on. And so is my green parade service uniform. The only article of clothing present was a replica Hoofball shirt.

And so I thought: forget it.

I set my alarm for eight, and managed to wake up at my usual earlier time anyway.

I decided to read a little to try and awaken before I would wander off to find some food when my alarm did in fact go off, so I wouldn't be eating at the same time as the rest of the Guard. Rather than walk in the mess hall out of uniform while the rest of the regiment were wearing their armor to their own breakfast. It would be a very bad example to set before I was even a proper Captain.

Doubly so, given this was Canterlot where going around naked was frowned upon unless one was a college student.

I could overhear conversations from guards as I made my way to the mess hall. Royal Guards only speak when spoken to by a commanding officer, or when a commanding officer and civilians are not present. At which point they talk more than a radio.

"... See, ah got mah train ticket a while ago, but more fool me 'cos what ah was worried about never happened. Seems the nobles ain't in a huge rush to be in town there and then so there's plenty of chariots gonna be spare but, ah got the ticket already and there's no refunds. Apparently they only like to visit the Summer Sun Celebration town in advance when it's off in distant parts of the country and they can call it a real vacation. They were all over the place when they held it in Savanneigh when ah was a colt. But for a little town a couple hours away by train, nope, no rush. More fool them though, it's a great village... ."

Or at least one of them did. He fell silent as I neared though.

I must not have been awake as I had hoped, though, for the names of the three sentries at the door to the mess hall took their time to come to mind. They stared at me with their standard-issue Royal Guard Serious Face Mark Ones as I approached and tried desperately to remember their names. If I knew them at all, that was.

"Good morning, troopers."

The earth pony NCO looked at me puzzled.

"Good morning... sir?"

That had definitely been phrased as a question. No recognition in his eyes. I feared somepony had slipped dye into my shower gel (again) for a second... until he blinked.

"Oh, Lieutenant? Uh, I mean, Captain, sir? Ah, uh, ah mean... I didn't recognize you for some reason!"

It was then I knew who he was. Lance-Corporal Ellis Bitter Apple, a member of my own team. The distinct accent much of the Apple family seems to have slipped through for a moment there. However, at the time my blood ran cold.

"...What color is it?" I asked.

"What color is what, sir?" One of the privates, a unicorn, asked.

Before I could reply, the mess hall door opened, and a pegasus sergeant emerged.

"Is there a problem out here?"

"No, sarge, just a little confusion is all." The second private, another pegasus, replied.

The sergeant looked over at me, and that was when I was convinced some prankster was going to be hunted down and educated in the reception of severe flank-kickings. He raised an eyebrow.

Sergeants are not in the practice of wildly raising eyebrows at officers. A sergeant raising an eyebrow at an officer means something is wrong with that officer.

And then he blinked.

"...Oh, Captain. I almost didn't recognize you without your armor."

I sighed.

"Okay, Sergeant Thunderchild, be honest with me and speak freely. What color has somepony dyed my mane?"

He blinked again.

"Er, Shining, it's not been dyed at all. I just think the troopers might have not recognized you out of uniform."

"Yeah, sir, it's a rule we only play that sort of prank on somepony we don't like much," the unicorn private, Captive Audience, informed even as I, once again tried to decipher why he received a name like that.

Still, one simply didn't ask that sort of thing. It would be like asking Running Gag, (currently standing to Captive Audience's left) whether his parents thought him a joke. Simple manners. Like not pranking officers you like, apparently (and ones who weren't rookies, I knew that from experience, somepony once dyed my mane and tail like a skunk while I was sleeping and slipped some nasty smelling stuff into my cologne when I first enlisted. With the stripe markings I already have, I was just asking for it really).

"...Wait, does that mean I should wait for anguished screams from, let's say hypothetically, Lieutenant Coke's billet when he wakes up?"

I was not the only officer scheduled to be promoted today. Cherry Coke was a lieutenant, set to become a captain also. Troopers did like him, but only in his own platoon. My platoon, for some reason, did not. I was perfectly fine with him - we went to the academy together after all. Perhaps it was because he would pull rank quite often, which had a habit of irritating the enlisted troopers.

"Couldn't possibly comment on any pranking, hypothetical or otherwise, sir. Anyway, you were after something to eat?" Thunderchild reminded me.

"Er, yes. Quite. And if you have pranked him or anypony else, try not to get too murdered by them."

The troopers grinned at that advice, and I walked past them as they resumed their duties of standing around. A patrol neared, and apparently they did not recognize me either, as Lance-Corporal Apple had to inform them it was soon-to-be Captain Shining Armor that had just walked past.

"Shouldn't Apple get going if he wants to reach that family reunion he wanted time off for?" I pondered aloud.

"Not really, sir, he's got a couple of hours yet. He said something about avoiding a brunch. Apparently his relatives go overboard with the food, so he's catching a train that gets him there for just after twelve. He should still be back for eighteen-hundred though."

After eating, and getting a few strange glances from the hoof-full of troopers present (presumably from my lack of armor or uniform), I was a little puzzled about what to do with my time before the promotion ceremony. A short walk in the gardens seemed best. Nopony would be too nonplussed to see me without armor there, as even this early one would find visitors.

Unfortunately, at the doorway out, I instead encountered a resident from the castle coming to visit the guard barracks, or trying to. Another white unicorn, looking a little bit damp with his mane hidden below a towel, was angrily ranting at the door guards who had blocked his passage.

"Stand aside or fetch an officer, you fools! I demand that I see an officer of the guard right away!" Blueblood snapped at the guards that had refused him entry. I decided to act.

"Is there a problem, sir?"

He looked down his snout at me, but he does that to everypony. Even when they're wearing armor or his auntie's apprentice.

"Well, the most pressing would be that some nopony feels he is important enough to interject when I am ordering these foolish guards to stand aside!"

For a pony with a cutie mark that often signifies skill in exploration and map-making, he had a pretty terrible memory.

"I see, sir. Well, for your information I'm an officer, albeit technically off-duty at the moment, and if you have some business in the barracks I would be happy to assist you."

He sneered out his response.

"Oh, one of the ones getting promoted, eh? Very well, Lieutenant, take me to a captain!"

"I technically am a captain."

"Then take me to an actual captain!"

I kept my face blank as he adopted a smug expression at what he no doubt thought was a witty retort that put me in my place. However, the Royal Guard Regulations state in Rule Four Hundred and Nine, that 'in face of overwhelming stupidity, an officer is permitted to deploy sarcasm'(I appreciate the Princess' understanding of our position). Sadly, Major Payne's recent petition to have the rule amended to add 'and/or pepper spray' did not succeed, or I would have used that instead.

Who am I kidding, he'd have an even worse tantrum, which I did not need.

"Perhaps you wish a major to escort you to a colonel, sir? Or should we save time and take you to a general?"

"Curse it, you fool, you'll do. I must report an act of vandalism, and I have reason to believe it was carried out by enlisted troopers of the guard!"

"This is a serious accusation, sir. What has been vandalized?"

"My mane!" He yelled, briefly allowing the towel to fall down and reveal his normally blond mane was a neon green, but it had started to change hues even as he concealed it again.

Myself and the two troopers did very well not to laugh, I think. Remarkably enough, Blueblood seemed far more furious than embarrassed. That was a completely new shade of red for him.

"Well, sir, we can file a report and have the matter investigated..."

"I also want someone to fix this mess! Have a medic specializing in mane and coat care meet me when you file the report!"

"Sir, we have no such medics, I'm afraid, but perhaps you could consult Princess Celestia, or Princess Cadence. They may know a solution, and they are your family. Or perhaps even a scholar in the castle."

"Pha! The princesses are... too busy to deal with the effects of petty pranking! And what scholar in the castle would not find the situation amusing?!"

"...Twilight Sparkle?" I offered.

"That antisocial bookworm? Hm, well, if she does not know a solution she would likely seek one.... She may not be entirely useless."

The troopers winced. I simply upgraded my gaze from attentive to steely.

"I'm sure Princess Celestia will be thrilled to hear you feel she did a good job mentoring my little sister."

He blinked and his eyes widened in surprise for a moment, as if he finally realized who he was actually talking to.

Thankfully the Princess understood the value of bonds; the Royal Guard Regulations, while not condoning violence, did authorize 'scaring the horse apples' out of someone who has intentionally insulted your loved ones.

"Oh, er, Twilight Sparkle?! I was mistaking her for... Twilight... Sharkle. A different pony entirely! Miss Sparkle is a unicorn whilst Miss Sharkle is a... shark... I mean pegasus! Twilight Sparkle is a fine young mare, very attractive and... No, no, not attractive! I mean she is but she is not my type and, I mean, er... I think I left the toaster on in my haste to leave the shower! Good day, Captain!"

"Wait, don't you wish to file a report?" I asked as he began to retreat.

"Oh, er, no, it's merely a jape, very funny now I think about it, hahaha, and I'll just go... switch off the toaster and then have somepony like the Princess fix it!"

And with that he ran off. I looked at the two guards, who each had small smirks.

"Anyway, do you two want me to let your officer know he was here?"

"Thank you, sir. Probably best that Major Payne is made aware of the joke, er, situation sooner rather than later." One of them replied.

It was something to do at least. Alas, when I was reporting to their officer, who was at the time in the dormitories doing paperwork, I also heard an anguished cry from a nearby room. I and the Major soon discovered Lieutenant Coke with a color-changing mane.

Stunning coincidence really, that somepony should prank him when somepony else used the exact same method on Blueblood.

Still, once that one was dealt with and my face feed, I found myself still with time free still, as it was only just approaching nine o'clock. I figured I would maybe go and visit my sister. On the way I encountered two maids that had a good excuse for not recognizing me because I had no idea who they were either.

"Er, are you Captain Shining Armor?" One asked, hesitantly.

"Well, technically. I haven't been formally promoted yet."

She grinned and looked at her companion in triumph.

"See, I told you this wasn't a prank, Sweep!"

The maid named Sweep blinked.

"But I could have sworn... I really did think I'd never heard of him."

"Er, ladies, not to interrupt but I presume you were looking for me for a reason?" I prompted.

"Oh, that's right! The Princess would like to see you right away!"

I hoped I hid my panic well. That steal faced expression of a guard came in handy from time to time, even if ponies loved trying to make you break out of it.

"Ah, thank you. I'll just head straight there..."

They wandered off, and once I was sure no one was in earshot, I swore.

And then I moved my flank. When The Princess says jump, you don't point out you don't have wings, damn the cliff and take the plunge!

I tried not to look too panicky as the two guards to the throne room let me in. I also tried to distract myself wondering why a mess hall got an NCO and two Troopers on the door, whilst the ruler of the country got two bored looking corporals barely even batting an eyelid at anypony walking up to the door.

It didn't work very well because the other dozen of them inside answered that. And the fact said ruler was a goddess whose guards were probably there to protect her attackers more than her. And I was right back to wondering why a sun-goddess wanted to talk to me. I kept my head bowed and neared the throne.

'If she mentions bananas, just run like pony hell.' I thought to myself.

"Ah, Captain. Thank you for coming so quickly. You may rise."

I did so, and noticed that she was apparently feeding her pet phoenix. The Princess' expression was impossible to read beyond the impish friendliness she always wore. Princess Celestia's poker face was legendary. She could be scowling at me suspiciously behind those eyes and I wouldn't know the difference.

"Your Highness," I said, hoping I didn't look too nervous. I tried and failed to distract myself with the fact that the royal firebird looked like she would be molting in a few months.

"I just wanted to have a little chat, Shining Armor. There's no need for formalities. Anyway, I'm sure you're curious as to why you are here?"

I nodded honestly.

"Er, yes, ma'am. It came as a bit of a surprise, to be frank."

"I see. Did you feel okay this morning?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Nothing seemed a little out of place? No nervousness, confusion?"

"Well, Your Highness, I did, er, wake before my alarm was set to wake me. And I was a little confused about a few things in my room..."

"Such as?"

"Well, I was puzzled as to where my armor and uniforms were for a few moments. And for some reason I thought I had the wrong map on the wall."

She nodded.

"Any other strangeness?"

"A few guards seemed to not recognize me without my armor or uniform."

"I see. Well, I asked you here for four reasons. First, I'd like to personally congratulate you on your promotion. I know the letter we have a copy of in the royal archives said all that, but I'd prefer to say it face-to-face after I saw your name appear on my desk this morning."

"Thank you, Your Highness."

"I honestly do prefer to have a close relationship with those who work for me. Second, I also congratulate you on whatever it was you said to little Blueblood with regards to his, er, mane mishap. It would seem your advice made him look at the prank more rationally. But he did seem like he was a little afraid of something. I can't help but worry he may have left something out when he reported to me. Could you give me your side of events, perhaps?"

"Well, the Prince was attempting to speak with an officer and the guards obeyed standing orders not to let anyone enter the barracks without permission or a confirmed appointment. He did not appear to recognize me and as a result his initial conduct was... conducted on the assumption I was not the kind of officer he was looking for at the time."

"I see. He also mentioned your sister for a moment for some reason, but it seemed to have been a slip of the tongue. Between you and me, I think he may have plans to ask her out at some point. Would you have any opinion on that?"

'Over my dead body' was the first one that came to mind, but at the same time I knew Prince Blueblood was probably just flustered after his faux pas.

"Well, Your Highness, my sister is an adult mare and she can associate with whomsoever she wishes. It's not my place to decide if anypony can seek to pursue a romantic interest in her."

Celestia nodded thoughtfully. As if she hadn't read my mind and heard the first thought.

"Hmm, that is a very understanding approach. I know that elder siblings can sometimes feel very protective towards their younger brothers and sisters. In fact I worried the third matter I wished to speak to you about may be affected somewhat by your relationship with your sister."

She paused, and I realized I should speak.

"Affected in what way, Your Highness?"

"Well, I'd like to sound you out on a possible assignment that is of great importance, but that would mean you would not see Twilight Sparkle again for some time. I know it would be a sacrifice on your part, doubly so given the short notice involved, and I was concerned your possible worries about your sister could affect your choice..."

"Er, no, Your Highness, I'm sure Twilight is able to look out for herself. In addition, I did swear an oath upon Her Highness that if duty requires it, I am ready to perform the assignment regardless of the hardships I may face doing so," I said, quoting the oath in the process.

She nodded.

"Yes, quite. I never really liked the wording of that part of the oath, to be honest. Sounds far too much like every guard swears to obey without question. Perhaps I should look into changing it... Oh, my apologies, Captain, I was going a little off-topic there!"

I held back comment on the matter, of course, and she continued.

"Anyway, as you might know, Princess Cadence is to depart tonight on a two-year diplomatic tour, introducing her to the other nations of the world as well as extending the greetings of Equestria. I understand you and the Princess already know each other?"

I blinked for a moment, feeling strangely puzzled. Twilight's foalsitter and the only other Alicorn on the planet? Why was she phrasing it like this? She knew I knew.

'Oh, it's rhetorical. This is what happens when you tell your brain to expect sleep until eight AM but you forget to tell your body the same thing, Shining.'

That was what I thought. What I said was:

"Yes, Your Highness."

"Good. You see, she will receive a personal bodyguard, drawn from the Day Guard, and I feel she needs ponies she can trust. I've had non-commissioned and enlisted troopers submit applications to transfer over the last few weeks, and a Lieutenant Price had been checking up on the references."

I knew of Price - He'd been a cadet when I was in training myself. I knew at the time he had apparently caught the eye of an officer trying to set up a 'modern warfare' regiment in the style of a Neighponese ANBU black-ops group, and knocked back his own promotion offer to join the new unit. I correctly assumed that until it was set up they had him doing odd-jobs.

And I had been hearing the rumors over the past few weeks. The main story was that Celestia was forming a special unit of the Day Guard to act as Cadence's bodyguards, though others claimed that a whole new branch of the Guard under Cadence's total command was to be formed.

Anyway, Her Highness was still speaking when I was thinking all that.

"Key to ensuring the best are selected, however, will be making sure that the leader of her guard has the final say on which troopers are accepted. I don't expect any trouble on her trip, but I don't want her feeling nervous in foreign lands without soldiers she knows she can trust on hoof. Plus, she's insisted on trying to extend a greeting to the Hooviet Empire..."

I winced. The Hooviets were well known to any guard, and not so well known to the average Equestrian. The Hooviet Empire was a vast nation in the east that claimed to be a voluntary union, many weaker nations protected under the aegis of "The Greater Good" offered by unity and the strength of the largest nation of the union - a Deer nation called The Roedina.

Outwardly, they offered a free society and strength in unity. They tried to tempt neighboring nations to join the union with diplomacy, and the promise of the riches and prosperity that the union had to offer. They offered a vision of a bright and unified future.

In reality, well, it was an empire, and it had conquered much of its territory one way or another. Either by force, or through sheer economic strength. They had forced more than one deer tribe into the position where they simply could no longer afford to keep their freedom. And for ponies in the Empire, freedoms were few and precious. The deer were caste-based, and they forced the caste system upon ponies too. Your cutie mark meant nothing - your talents were to be defined by what you were born as and your life decisions were made for you in the name of the Greater Good.

Want to care for animals? Not with those wings! Want to be an engineer? You're a unicorn, get back to training on magic theory! Want to fly airships? Nice try, earth pony, get back to your farm or workshop. Meanwhile, the deer were in the majority, the middle and upper classes. They were the ones who gained the riches and the prosperity. Well, the Does and Stags of the proper tribe and lineage did, at least.

Planning dissent? There is a surveillance culture pervading all levels of society. The young are indoctrinated to report all unusual activity. There is a virtual cult built around Father Deer, the "Guiding Father and Great Leader" of the Greater Good. You would love him - or you would cease to exist. Your body incinerated, your deeds assigned to others, your name erased. Their vision of the future was a cloven hoof stamping on a pony face forever. They had tried to force Equestria under their hoof with threats, but Princess Celestia made it perfectly clear she desired nothing more than peace, but also what would happen if they intentionally harmed any of her subjects. Having a true goddess as your ruler had its advantages.

So it was a wonderful country that Cadence was so set on visiting, basically(!) But back to the matter at hoof, Celestia was still speaking as I recalled these facts.

"...And, well, you know why that place is a place to be on your guard. Though this is more of an informal check to see you'd be okay with accompanying her over the next couple of years, I'm already quite sure you're the perfect pony for the job - you're practically made for it with your defensive skills. It will technically make you the Commander of her Guard and no longer part of my Day Guard, but... well, I think that it's as good a time as any for the Royal Guard and the Day Guard to no longer be all just the same thing. I am not Equestria's only Princess."

Even with the two years I would be away, as it then stood, as it is now, all of Equestria's Defense Force was the 'Royal Guard' (even if that was now 'our' name), sub-divided into the Cavalry or ground forces, and the Air-Navy crewing Airships (with the two senior Princesses having split most of the armies down the middle between them). As it then stood, all the Royal Guard, even the ones on night duty, were the Day Guard. I was basically being told that I was forming the Second Guard of the 'Royal Guard.'

Of course, as it turned out, it was to be the Third Guard as the Second would in fact be re-activated, but that's a different story entirely. Suffice to say though, the Day Guard are pansies and the Night Guard are afraid of the light!

...What? Inter-service rivalry is great for morale. Yes, I know I used to be Day Guard but now I'm not, okay?!

Anyway, what I said in response to being given possibly the greatest honor any soldier had been given in centuries?

"I... I understand, Y-Your Highness. Thank you." I squeaked and tried not to fall over.

Words that shall inspire for generations to come(!)

"Good. I'll inform her formally later that I am attaching you to command her Guard, so for now if you meet her please try to keep it quiet, but I'm sure when I tell her she'll be thrilled to know she knows her bodyguard commander already. "

"Yes, Your Highness. May I ask the overall size of the detail I am to select?"

"Roughly a half platoon in size, thirty or so troopers. At present you will be the only officer, but hopefully your original thirty will provide the NCO's and maybe even more officers from the ranks for future expansions of Princess Cadence's Guard. I've found that ponies that rise up from the rank of Private often make good leaders once they become officers."

I nodded my agreement. I'd been trained by 'rankers' myself. One of the unspoken lessons of officer training and beyond is that lieutenants and captains are merely in command, while sergeants and corporals are in charge.

"Last but not least, your sister will be getting an assignment to Ponyville as my representative. She'll be checking preparations for tomorrow."

I nodded and tried to conceal my happiness for my sister. Being given such a trusted duty would be a great honor for Twiley! Assuming she wasn't caught up in some area of her studies that made her see anything else as just a distraction.

For the record, it would take me a while before I realized when it comes to things like that I should just stop thinking entirely.

"However, she will be leaving within the hour. If you are willing to take on this mission, now may be your only chance to give Twilight a proper goodbye before she leaves for Ponyville. She won't be back before you leave yourself."

I was startled at this, I will admit. I was facing a two-year assignment yet it would seem I would only have one hour in which to bid my little sister farewell? Would I even have a chance to say goodbye to mom and dad?

"...I can say goodbye to Spike too, right?" I tried to joke, but my voice wavered a little.

The Princess merely looked at me with understanding.

"She'll be getting ready, I think she'll only be on the double-checking checklist just now, which should give you a good bit of time. You should go now."

"Yes, Your Highness, right away. Thank you."

I made to leave, trying not to gallop away.

"Oh, and Captain?"

I turned to face the ruler of Equestria, and soon to technically no longer be my Supreme Commander once I was under Cadence's banner.

"Make sure you let her know how much you love her."

Even at the time, I felt this was sage advice.

I knew my sister would be in her residence, a tower on the castle grounds that like her old bedroom at home had become like a private library thanks to her bibliophile tendencies. It was also 'relatively' close to the throne room (not saying much in a castle this big).

Perhaps it was just suppressed stress and nerves from the promotion(s) I had received, but I had picked up my pace once outside the throne room. My basic train of thought was that my little sister was heading off to a strange town, and I might not have a good chance to see her again for at least two years if I did not go right now.

A running Captain of the Guard, even out of armor, always attracted some attention.

"Captain, is there a problem?" A voice asked from above.

I slowed down and looked up. Thunderchild hovered above me.

"Not really, Sergeant. It's just a personal matter. Twilight is going to Ponyville and I'm just off to say goodbye."

He landed, and now distracted by his presence, I felt a little less of a fearful urgency.

"I see. Is she going by train or has the Princess arranged a chariot?"

Unfortunately for him, I was now zoning out a little as I began to realize maybe I was overreacting a little. Reflecting on it all at the time, it became clear that it wasn't like the world would end if I didn't say goodbye to my little sister - she'd be here when I returned. Still, she is my only sister... Unless Dad has something to tell us all, that is.

"Sir?"

And as for the big brother instinct kicking in, like I had said, Twilight was indeed a grown mare. Albeit a little naive at times, and maybe a little antisocial. Still, surely a trip to a quiet town like Ponyville wouldn't lead her into any real trouble. Right?

"Captain?"

Remember what I said five minutes ago about thinking about things like that?

"Shining?" Thunderchild asked, bolting me from my daydream.

NCO-Using-Your-Name. A sure sign you were away with the flutterponies.

"Oh, sorry, I was a million miles away. What was your question?" I replied sheepishly.

"I was asking about her travel arrangements. If it's a chariot team being organized, I could try and be on it. The team would stay in town until the Summer Sun Celebration was over so I'd be able to keep an eye out on her for you?"

"No thank you, Thunderchild. I don't want her thinking she's being watched."

"Actually, she'd not notice someone watching her at all..."

Non-commissioned officers are adept at poking holes in your logic using emotional blackmail. They're like spouses in a way. Er, don't tell you-know-who I said that.

...No, not Lord Voldehorse, you know who! Anyway, back to the present. Past. Whatever.

"...Check who has been assigned to it for me, will you?"

"Yes, sir. Well, see you at your promotion ceremony, sir."

And with that he flew off, and I realized we'd reached Twilight's tower. That was actually quite fortunate - you'd be surprised how many times a 'talk and trot' takes you right past your destination at Canterlot Castle. Especially in the administrative section of the West Wing for some reason.

Anyway, I made my way to the door and knocked.

"Spike! Get the door!" I heard from within.

The door soon opened, and a confused baby dragon looked up at me. I'd always found Spike rather cool. Full grown dragons were rare enough (normally only an 'ambassador' coming to 'okay' a migratory route through Equestria), but Spike was the only baby dragon I'd ever seen.

"Uh... Hi? Who are you?"

Needless to say I was rather startled by that. I'd known Spike all his life and yet, I fail to wear armor now and I'm a stranger?! I was about to speak when my sister, despite having asked her dragon companion to get the door, wandered over.

"Spike, that's no way to greet... whoever this is..."

I'll admit my next actions were a little angered.

"Come on, am I that unrecognizable without armor on?!" I snapped.

Twilight seemed taken aback by this, though her eyes widened not in surprise at some strange pony shouting in her doorway for no reason, but at realizing who I was.

"B.B.B.F.F?! Wha... I don't know how I didn't recognize you!"

She then moved to give me a hug while Spike stood horrified and mortified and all sorts of -fieds at his own part in the error.

"Uh, I knew who you were, I was just joking..." Spike tried lamely.

Two unicorns gave him a look.

"Okay, I didn't either! You gotta admit, Shining, you look different without the armor!"

I sighed, defeated.

"Well, hopefully you still recognize me once I wear Captain's armor..."

Twilight suddenly looked dismayed.

"Oh... Your promotion ceremony. I... I'm going to miss that. Princess Celestia asked me to..."

I cut her off.

"I know, Twiley. She asked me to do something as well and... It's a long term assignment. I'll be part of a diplomatic mission that's going to last, erm, at least two years. It's short notice but the mission leaves tonight so... this might be the only chance we'll really get to say goodbye."

My little sister looked like I'd just told her the library was closing forever. I hope I did a better job of hiding my emotions.

"B-but... two years?! What is it, a world tour?"

"Er, yes. I'm commander of the guard detail for the VIP... Er, the Very Important..."

"...Pony, I get it, move on..."

"...And she is taking a small flotilla... that's..."

"A small grouping of airships, normally frigates or smaller," Twilight cut in again.

"Quite. Anyway, she's taking the flotilla around the world, extending the hoof of friendship and harmony to all the nations of the world.... And I'll be in overall command of security for the VIP at all times as Guard Commander. Well, I'll still be a Captain but I'll also be a Commander..."

"Shining, I read all the guard training and regulations manuals, I know Commander is a position and not a rank unless you're in the Air Navy portion of the Guard. I probably know the books better than you actually. And I know how much of an opportunity this is for you."

I nodded, thankful she was at least keeping herself on track even while I was babbling like an idiot.

"I... Thank you for understanding. I just wanted to say goodbye before you leave for Ponyville."

"Okay... Um, what can you tell me about your mission?"

"Not that much, honestly. I think I said pretty much all there is on it, actually." I didn't particularly want to tell her one of the distressingly few friends she'd had as a filly was going too. It was hard enough as it was.

"Well, it sounds better than mine even if it's way too long. I'm being sent to supervise a bunch of ponies in a town we could see with a telescope, and there might be..."

She gasped.

"You arriving so suddenly made it slip my mind! Shining, there's something important you need to know! Equestria is in mortal danger!"

"Really?! How?"

"I've been conducting research and all signs point towards tonight being the night that the Mare in the Moon will return!"

"The... What?"

It threw me off guard a bit, to be honest.

"Nightmare Moon!"

"...What?!"

"The legendary pony who seeks to bring about night-time eternal."

"...What."

"You... Seem pretty relaxed about it."

"Well, I am. Twilight, that's just a myth. Nightmare Moon is a fairy tale!"

"Augh! Why does everypony keep saying that?!" Twilight virtually wailed.

I chuckled, and placed a hoof on her shoulder.

"Twiley, we can't believe in every myth and legend. I mean, what if I tell you the ancient Mexicoltian calendar is counting down and it comes to an end in three years?"

"...I'd say you're nuts. It counts sideways, not backwards or forwards."

"See? Factual evidence to dismiss it, because the myth has no facts behind it! Twilight, there are no records that speak about the Mare in the Moon in recorded history."

"...Well, yes, you've got a point... But at the same time there's no evidence against Nightmare Moon! After all, the records on the origin of the Summer Sun Festival are nonexistent and we still celebrate it! Shining, we can't just dismiss this entirely..."

"But you don't need to worry about it. I'm honestly kind of surprised you believe it, Twiley, you're not a superstitious pony. You've never believed in this kind of stuff before."

"I know...But I haven't always been right either. Remember when I didn't believe in zebras?"

I winced. "...she didn't appreciate you trying to 'wash off' her costume ...But ponies say Nightmare Moon will eat little foals on Nightmare Night if they don't give her half their candy, did that ever happen to you when you refused to believe it then?"

"No..."

"Besides, if it is true, the Royal Guard will take care of it."

"Maybe... But are you sure I can't borrow a few elite platoons?"

"Sorry, but I don't think so. Good luck in Ponyville anyway. I'll write if I can while I'm gone, but replying might be tricky with the anti-teleport wards on the ships." I said, trying to get her mind on matters other than myths.

Poor Spike was more than willing to help me, his expertise on sending scrolls coming to the fore with the mention of letters.

"Yeah, it would be. Even if I managed to send it to where the ship is, those wards might cause it to bounce back. I tried it once. And I won't do it again, know why? Backfire."

I winced, even if Spike was immune to his own flames. That must not have been a pleasant experience.

"...So, anyway, I've got a little while until I need to get ready for the ceremony. Need a hoof with anything?"

"Oh, not really. Spike and I were just going over the checklist."

I looked over at the dragon.

"On the first list, we confirmed that the milk that will expire before we're back is used, that the shelves have been re-shelved properly, that the bed is made, everything is cleaned up, you've packed your keys, scrolls, and bag of bits in your saddlebags."

"What about the map?! Did we pack the map?!"

"Twilight, I'm sure a small town like Ponyville won't be too tricky..."

"That's easy for you to say! It's just an Urban Operations scenario for you, the key landmarks, objectives, and choke-points would become apparent to your scouts even without maps, but I need to know which houses to go to!"

"Twiley, I don't apply military jargon to everything I do..."

"The map is packed, Twilight. Besides, like Shining Armor says, it's not that big a town, and if we did get lost we could just ask for directions."

"Or... we could bring scouts! Shining Armor, can I borrow some scouts in case I lose a map?! Say, the Seventh Heavy Brigade?" Twilight suddenly said.

"Nice try, but I don't think so. Besides, I'm pretty sure Spike won't lose the map."

"Nope! It'll be safe with me!" He saluted.

"Okay, scouts are out of the question. I'm sure I won't get lost. After all, it's just a few ponies to check up on, then I can head for... Oh no, Spike, where is it I'm supposed to stay?!"

"In the library in the town."

"You'll feel at home, at least. Should help you sleep..."

"Did you remember Smartypants?"

"Yeah I..." Twilight started, then blushed a little bit when she realized what she'd admitted to.

It's typical, really. When you've got the feeling you need to say something important to someone and this might be your last chance for a long time... You're speechless. Awkward silence descended.

"I'm really sorry I'll miss your promotion ceremony," She eventually said.

"Don't worry about it, Twilight. It's not that much. I put on my armor, hold my sword aloft when it reaches noon, and then I receive new orders. And technically I already have my new orders so I just get them officially. Besides, I'll get promoted again someday. That'll be a Major achievement!"

This pun fell flat at first, but cogwheels turned in Spike's head.

"Oh, I get it now."

He still didn't laugh though.

"Well, maybe, but what if you get a field promotion out there?" He then asked.

"Uh, Spike, field promotions happen in battle. I'm meant to avoid that," I corrected him.

"Oh. Maybe start one?"

"That'd get him a court martial instead. Anyway, uh... I guess I'd really better get going. The Princess said she'd have a chariot prepared for me in ten minutes from now."

I nodded, and hoped I didn't look as upset as I felt.

"I understand. Good luck again, and... Can you do me a favor while I'm away?"

I leaned in and gave her a hug.

"Even when I'm far away on this assignment, little sister, remember I'm there, and that I love you. Can you do that?"

She stood back from the hug and gave a sloppy salute that made me smile.

"Of course, Captain B.B.B.F.F! That's a really easy order! Permission to say I love you too?"

I cracked up at that, and so did she. Sure, it's not really all that funny when I explain it, is it, but... You had to be there, you know?

And hey, she seemed a lot less nervous about Ponyville now. I would later discover she actually started fuming about it when Spike re-read out her instructions from the Princess to her on the chariot ride there, but at least she set off happy with me. And I managed to say what I wanted to say.

"I can walk you to your chariot at least, right?" I said once we stopped laughing.

"Of course, big brother. I'm going to miss you though."

"I'll miss you too, Twiley."

Episode 72: (Dark World) Modern Major Evil Overlord

Pony POV Series
"Dark World" Part Four
By Alex Warlorn
Modern Major Evil Overlord

Discord sat in a comfy more cheerful looking replica of his throne he kept in his castle, Ponyville, the top of Old Dragon Peak, and a small pie shop outside of Manehatten.

The elements of chaos sat in customized chairs two on his left, three in front, and Fluttercruel's chair on his right. All within a giant air bubble that would let them enjoy the show without the annoyance of constantly drowning.

Traitor Dash huddled in a cloud chair curled in a foalhood blanket shivering. LJ gently patted her on the back. LJ and Rarigreed were the only ones still wearing the seaflower circlets the six were given on each of their visits.

"What is WITH these seaponies? Can't they stock something for carnivores just once?" Fluttercruel complained looking at the angel-fish like seapony humming to herself at the concession standing.

"They're vegetarians," Twilight Tragedy said evenly not looking at her, "The upper parts of Sky Ocean are dedicated to growing sea-apples and water-cactus."

Little-Ocean-Heart and Sea Apple looked up proudly at their orchard.

"Don't feel so awful my young mare." Discord magicked up a paper-bucket of fried rabbit legs, that would appear to be water-cactus to the sea ponies observing, which ceased Fluttercruel's complaints and she started to silently munch.

Poor Spike had -as per the fundamental laws of the universe even Discord was hard pressed to break- been left behind at the castle.

In her seat Rarigreed hugged a pile of rock her telekinesis shaped into the form of a unicorn foal that Rarigreed called Ruby and explained things to it as if it could hear her.

The ever daring Waterflower approached the six mares and asked about Rarity's child (she had been told how much Lady Rarigreed The Protective loved games of pretend). Rarigreed was more than happy to talk about Ruby, her life with her biological mother, Rarity adopting her, and all the parties she had with the rest of Rarity's family.

"Wow! I wish my family could visit your family."

"I'm sorry darling, I wish you could too, I want it," Rarigreed's eye twitched, "But Master Discord knows the world is too dangerous for you seaponies to leave your ocean."

Waterflower happily nodded in understanding.

Angry Pie scowled and fidgeted in her chair. She was chained to her seat. Tragedy had injected her with enough sedatives to render a elephant comatose. The Earth Pony still chafed against her bindings. There was an eighth empty chair next to her.

A blond seapony with pink coat and a sea-weed-cupcake sang gently in her ear until the show began. She was Lady Angry Pie The Mighty's biggest fan (she had imitated her mane style). She unwittingly performed her regular task of drowning out the majority of laughter that echoed through the pure and innocent ocean.

Discord adjusted the tie on his tuxedo (a new one, not that he didn't have other seapony friendly attire, he did come here often after all). Fluttercruel was wearing one of her own custom dresses. Tragedy was wearing a mage's dress with a star pattern. Rarigreed's dress was white, once, maybe, it was as dirty as her. Liarjack just wore a worn formal cowboy outfit that looked over a thousand years old. Getting Angry Pie to wear anything was a waste of time. Traitor Dash just hugged herself more in her blanket.

Schools of other seaponies all of diverse shapes and sizes floated above or below the air bubbles to watch the show.

A seapony stuck her head out of the water and smiled at them. Her lower body ended in a fan-shaped tail, on her back were fins that resembled wings, her muzzle was colored yellow like a beak. Her cutie mark was a raincloud.

"Weclome everyone! I'm Seawing. And special welcome to Master Discord and his six heroes! The Elements of Chaos! Thank you for coming! And please enjoy the show!"

The sea pony audience cheered. Traitor Dash shuddered at the word 'heroes.'

The seapony pulled her head back into the water.

A chorus of sea ponies began to play on kazoos (you expect Discord's world to make sense?). At the same time seaglow ponies used their own light with some clever prisms and filters to present what could have counted as an animated cartoon on a projection screen.

A caricature of Discord's face appeared surrounded by several (non-hypnotic) colored rings. The seaponies cheered more.

An elegantly drawn title card appeared reading:
'Discord And The Existentialists'

The title card faded to a watercolor style painted background of a sunny day with pretty pink clouds and smiling flowers.

A Tex Avery style Discord happily jogged onto the scene, looking like his single desire was to give out candy at orphanages and feed homeless families.

"Talalalalala!" Jingled a voice in perfect sync with the image.

Then three frowning Earth ponies who didn't appear to know the definition of the word 'smile' came into view as the cartoon Discord trotted along.

"Hello! And happy day to you!" Said the cartoon Discord, "What can I do for you?"

"We are existentialists! We are individuals!" The three said together in perfect sync and inflection. "We are mean, so we don't like you, who is nice!"

"But I can be nice to you, even if you're mean, then you'd be nice, then we'd like each other!" Cheered the cartoon Discord.

"No!" The 'existentialists' echoed, "We don't want that! We don't want to be happy! We want to be miserable and sad! And want others to be miserable and sad! Because we're smarter and better than you! And since we're existentialists if we think something doesn't exist! It doesn't exist!" The three permanently frowning Earth ponies pointed at Discord, "You do not exist. You do not exist. You do not exist. You do not exist."

Cartoon Discord cheered and clapped and hopped up and down. "This looks like a fun game! Let me try!" He put on a face so serious it was silly and pointed at them speaking a faux deep tone, "You do not exist. You do not exist. You do not exist."

With three audible 'pops' the 'existentialists' were gone, no bells and whistles, simply not in the next frame.

"Huh? Where did they go? Oh well! I bet I'll get to make lots of friends next time!" The cartoon struck a happy pose with a comical downbeat sounding. The projection faded to black.

Discord chuckled. "Ah, the Old Lady's favorite game. Good times."

The voice of the seapony from before echoed, "And now, our feature presentation."

TD hid in her blanket more.

A gray coat and black maned sea pony swam in front of the show's orchestra. Her lower half was octopod-like, but she actually carried herself with grace and beauty. She held a baton in each tendril and brought the orchestra into harmony and began.

"IIII AAAMMM AN EEEVIIIL OVER-LOOOOOOORD!" A series of drums sounded. TD looked up. "IIII AAAMMM AN EEEVIIIL OVER-LOOOOOOORD!"

A sea pony stallion in an exquisite well done costume of a demonic black ram sang as the lights shined on him with sand in the water acting as smoke. Air bubbles behind contained little flames.

"This . . this isn't. . . " TD blinked in awe.

Liarjack shifted in her chair, "Somepony must have told the seaponies that Master wanted a different play than 'The Bolt of Shadow Versus The Scooting Lightning.'"

Discord looked annoyed at the performance, then looked at the gray orange pony, "Liarjack you get a little bit more devious every day. You're finally learning." Discord patted her on the head then crushed her skull. Orange sparkles crackled as her skull reformed itself.

To the seaponies it looked like Discord have given his chosen one a playful noogie.

"Mah mouth tastes like brain."

"Didn't need that image," TD whispered. But she was clearly quite relieved.

Fluttercruel said, "You hanged out with Applebloom's friends from Sunnytown too long."

"They did not eat brains!" LJ defended.

"SHUSH!!!!" Rarigreed and Twilight said together to the ponies. "Ponies who talk during theater go to the SPECIAL Pony Hell." Rarigreed hissed.
---
Oh it would be nice if I, the great and really radical Discord could be the source of Grogar, and Tirac too while I'm at it. But the Lord of Tambelon, and the Master Of Midnight Castle were among the villains of the first age I am embarrassed to say had nothing to do with me. I also must regrettably only take half credit for Squirk, he was a handmedown from Strife, I just helped him find his favorite toy. Shame, we had so much in common.

Grogar was a sorcerer of incredible power, and surpassed that of any mortal unicorn, and that was just his innate talent, the bell he wore around his neck only increased his massive magical prowess. I still don't know if it was one of Strife's gifts, or if he made it himself! Strange even after Megan destroyed it, he found a way in those five hundred years to recreate it, hmmmmm... maybe that's why it takes him five hundred years to keep returning.

Was it any wonder they chose to cheat and simply seal him and his city into the realm of shadows between realities? I guess they hoped he'd die of old age. No such luck. Normally returning from such a place is impossible, but old Grogar managed a break out, and his entire city with him, every five hundred years!

Keeping him from materializing or arranging a welcoming committee has been the ultimate test of whoever happens to be ruling over Equestria at the time. And then he just gets buried by the history book again. Why doesn't that ever bother him? He gives a good roar when he loses, but that's it!

All that old goat wants is order and power. Where's the fun seeking? Where's the delight of seeing others squirm? Where are the games in seeing ponies run around like chickens with their heads cut off? What's the point of power if you don't have fun with it-?!

That oversized magic ram just sits on his throne, and makes sure his city and slaves, minions, and citizens run like a giant machine when he's not trying to break out! I'd kill myself if... if I had, if I was stuck with a kingdom... like that.

While we're at me admitting to things I wasn't responsible for, I must also regretfully admit Lavan the Lava Demon King wasn't mine either. Strife felt he was a far more worthy symbol of her 'law of the jungle' thinking than that ugly octopus, even taught him one of Dad's songs. She didn't take sides when his quest for more power nearly annihilated the ponies, whichever side won would have her approval, 'that's how natural selection works' she'd say.

Oh, huh? Tirac? Him? Nope, I didn't give him the Rainbow of Darkness, why do you think I'd even have it? For a half-fiend centaur who became known as the embodiment of evil for all of pony history, he sure spent a lot of his youth crying out at the moon, 'Why does the night reject my love-?!' Remember this is before Celly's Dad put Lulu back in diapers. She wouldn't even talk to him directly when she finally paid him a visit, had an owl speak for her until he broke its beak and demanded she speak to him.

"I would offer the whole world to you!"

"'The whole world?' HA! You have any idea how vast the cosmos is? What meaning is one tiny place in infinity?"

"Give me a chance! Any chance! And I will prove myself to you!"

And so she gave it to him to do with as he chose to prove himself to her in a way of his own design. And the rest is history.

---

Grogar and his city of Tambelon had now been introduced, along with his second in command, a donkey named Bray (like all his first born sons had been named since his family had served Grogar at the very beginning of the titan's reign).

Traitor Dash felt a sense of relief she'd have one evening without salt being poured in the wounds and leaned against Liarjack, "Thank you."

"Yer welcome Dash."

Fluttercruel yawned, "Pst. The other show has a lot more action than this."

"It's a nice little change of pace dear," Discord whispered,
"Besides, you need to learn to appreciate the subtleties of comedy young mare."

'Grogar' called out, "One day I looked upon the land of ponies. And I saw it was in chaos. And I knew, that I was the only one who could bring it to order. First I brought order to myself, then I brought order to the first Bray, then I brought order to others, then I brought order to my city, then I brought order to the Troggles, then finally I brought order to Ponyland. But Ponies feared order, so cowardly sealed me away when they found brute force could not turn the tide of my will."

Tragedy sighed wondering how much of this was even accurate. Grogar's origins and rise to power had been vague and sketchy even during the age of myths. The only thing Master had spoken about him was 'the least fun and most rigid mortal, demi-mortal, ex-mortal, over-stay-his-lifetime-thingie, WHATEVER, ever!'

Flesh and blood Diamond Dogs, renegade changelings, sheep, minotaurs, dragons he bent to his will, and other diverse creatures were conscripted to replace the loss of his previous foot soldiers 'the Troggles' one of many species lost to history from the age of myths. With Queen Cadence I's demise he was one of the few beings that could promise to bring order to chaos, more than a few joined willingly, embracing Grogar's uncompromising order over Master's uncompromising chaos.

Traitors.

The opera also made no mention of the changelings once again forced to fight alongside Discord's minions. Grogar's world would have less room for love to exist than Discord's. New Avalon itself seemed to exist everywhere and nowhere.

"As long as any of you live, Avalon lives."

Twilight Tragedy shook her head to clear it, wondering where that memory came from.

Tragedy remembered how many young changelings had taken the chance to stab her in the back or pour clear acid in her drink when she wasn't looking. She politely informed them to stop wasting time and get back to what they were supposed to be doing after she regenerated.

"AH'M THE ONE who killed Queen Cadence! The rest never even touched her! They weren't even part of it! Ya wanna feel hate, then hate me!" Liarjack had finally chosen to say.

It worked. The changelings focused on finding a way to kill Liarjack between battles and plans to contain Grogar and send him and his small kingdom back to the void between worlds.

The plot ground to a halt for an hour or three as they witnessed scene after scene that seemed to serve no purpose but to show how evil Grogar was or how miserable a place Tambelon was to live. The characters were throwing the words 'Grogar is evil', 'Grogar is irredeemable', 'Grogar is heartless', 'Grogar is a villain' like they were going out of season.

"I am an eeeviiiill over-lord! But I am a smaaaarrt evil over-lord!"

"He's a smaaaaaart evil over-lord!" Sang the chorus costumed as Grogar's minions.

"And because I'm a smaaaaart evil over-lord! I'll make a list! And tell my minions what to and not do!"

"He'll make a list! And tell us to what do and not do!"

"And they'll be smart!"

"And we'll be smart!"

"In orderly fashion, nothing shall, ever, ever, EEEVEERR-go wrong!"

'But instead of next depicting epic battles, and or the sublime details of strategy, it has to break down into three hundred separate semi-stand alone sketches.' Many of which Tragedy questioned her memory on actually happening. Twilight Tragedy had to make a break for the little filly's room (found herself feeling distracted the entire show), but highlights included as follows:

"We are so smart! We are so smart!" Sang the minions in front of a background Tambelon, "We are wearing clear plexiglass visors, not face concealing ones! Now no pony will sneak past us!"

A seapony dressed up like Rarigreed peaked behind a rock, got a good look at their faces through their plexiglass visors, and proceeded to paint up a perfectly detailed mask of their faces behind their clear plexiglass visors.

'Rarigreed' then pushed over a pile of rocks, to which the minions looked the opposite way. "HA! A large and obvious noise! Must be a distraction! The real intruder must be this way!"

'Rarigreed' then knocked out the two guards and pulled the mask over her face (and put a mask of herself over those of the guards who proceeded to attack each other upon waking up) and waltzed through the gate, taking a moment back to blow a kiss to the audience.

"She's so lovely." Rarigreed admired.

The truly weird thing was, that was one Tragedy was sure actually happened.
---
"I am so smart!" Grogar declared.

"He is smart!" The minions sang.

"My air ducts are super tiny! Nothing can get through them!"

"My air ducts are super tiny! Nothing can get through them! Including air!" The minions reached for their throats and began to wave their 'hands' pathetically. "Our deep deep underground dungeons need air!" And fell over.
----

"I am not keeping my bell which is the source of my power on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity! That's bound to attract heroes! It is now being kept in my safe-deposit box! It's much safer there!"

The tiny, pathetic bank behind Grogar was promptly blown up, a grinning Fluttercruel doing the cliche 'sneaking walk' off stage with a grin on her face.
----
"We are so smart! Because we are following our evil overlord's list! The giant red 'Do Not Push' button will not blow up the base but in fact unleash a barrage of arrows on anyone who pushes it! Ha ha ha!"

Traitor Dash came up behind him and -pushed- the minion onto the big red button.
----
Two minions sang in front of a tied up, gagged, and chained Fluttercruel.
"We are so smart! We are not interrogating our valuable prisoner behind several heavy defenses of the inner sanctum! But here in a small hotel well outside the protection of our borders!"

A giant rock fell on them. Above the furry puppet Discord waved at the audience.

(Tragedy actually remembered that one, Master had dropped a castle sized rock on the motel, then melted a hole through the rock to let Fluttercruel out, and handed her a mace. She squealed joyfully and flew back down on the hole to play with the minions the rock had trapped underneath).

"Fluttercruel was twice as cute when that really happened," The real Discord said.
-----
"Good thing we're cremating our important slain enemies after emptying several crossbow bolts into them instead of throwing them off a cliff." Said two garbage disposal minions to each other (they sure got around a lot). That was when a flaming Angry Pie burst out of the incinerator roaring.

"Did they have to include that one?" The real Angry Pie muttered.
----
"We have eliminated all incompetent and inept officers and commanders in the enemy's forces Our lord!"

"Excellent! Now they'll surely give up now that their source of humor is gone!"

"Master! The enemy's army has quadrupled in efficiency!"

---
"Hmmmm..." Thought Grogar as he faced the elements of chaos, "I shall not turn into a giant monster. Because it never helps. Even though it would heal my injuries, increase my defense and offense, and I'm already a large target so it's not like any of their attacks are missing anyway. Because it never helps."

The next scene showed Discord turning giant and stepping on Grogar's crack troops who had broken into the castle throne room.
---
"I will not grow a goatee. In the old days they made you look diabolic. Now they just make you look like a disaffected member of Generation X? Who wrote this one?"

A minion slowly raised his hand.

Puppet Discord smashed through the wall. "I just heard! Who wrote that?"

Grogar pointed.

Both titans of evil vaporized said minion together and declared a one day truce to celebrate.
---
"I am so smart! I am keeping my prisoners apart in separate cell blocks! And the only key is around my neck!"

"Master! The prisoners have escaped!"

"HOW?!"

"They began tunneling at the same time, we tried to stop them, but we were so spread out we couldn't! And we didn't have keys to open the cell door and catch them!"
---
"I am so smart! I am riding in the REAR of my army into battle, which is bound to inspire my troops! And I am not seeking out my opposite number even though he's slaughtering my troops left and right and I'm the only one in my power class who can take him!"

A soldier fighting on the front lines looked to the one next to him "If Master Grogar is so great and powerful, why is he hiding behind us while we're fighting on the front lines and being slaughtered?"

"I will not engage an enemy single-handedly until all my soldiers are dead. . . Why are you all defecting?"

---
"I WANNA JOIN YER SIDE! I WANNA JOIN YER SIDE!" 'Liarjack' declared to 'Grogar.'

"HA! Like I'd believe such an obvious lie!"

The real Liarjack's eyes shifted "Yeah, no way Ah figured an orderly evil tyrant might be better than a chaotic evil tyrant or was hoping to help Grogar finish him off and convince him later a happy population was a much more efficient and orderly one."
----
"I am so smart! I employ only bounty hunters who work for money!"

"Here ya go, double of what Grogar is paying you."
-----
"I am so smart! I designed my fortress hallways with no alcoves or protruding structural supports which intruders could use for cover in a firefight!"

The Daring Do jingle played in the background as a boulder rolled by, chasing Grogar's minions.

"AAAAAAAHHHHHH! We have no alcoves to hide behind which we could use to dodge the rebel's giant rolling rock!"

Traitor Dash actually laughed.

"Now that's just silly." Liarjack in the audience said.

"Don't you dare dismiss Tom's contribution to the war effort!" Rarigreed hissed.
-----
"Attention! In Tambelon: Bulk trash will be disposed of in incinerators, not compactors. And they will be kept hot, with none of that nonsense about flames going through accessible tunnels at predictable intervals."

A flaming Angry Pie burst out of the garbage disposal roaring.

"I hate fire," Angry in the audience grumbled.
----
"Attention! In Tambelon: All publicly available maps of the fortress will have a room clearly marked as the Main Control Room. That room will be the Execution Chamber. The actual main control room will be marked as Sewage Overflow Containment."

Traitor Dash burst into the control room. "Wow! And I thought we were gonna have to crawl through the barely guarded sewer system and fight sewer monsters for eight hours or something to find this place."
----
"Remember men! No matter how many bugs we have in the system, We guards are instructed to treat every surveillance camera malfunction as a full-scale emergency."

"Sir! Camera 23B just flickered!"

"FULL SCALE EMERGENCY!"

"Sir! Camera 42 just flickered!"

"FULL SCALE EMERGENCY!"

"Sir! Camera 82 just flickered!"

"FULL SCALE EMERGENCY!"

"Sir! Camera URSTU just flickered!"

"FULL SCALE EMERGENCY!"

On stage Fluttercruel giggled as she caused the eightieth full scale alert that day just by jiggling the wires.

Tragedy tilted her head, "I forget, did Tambelon even HAVE security cameras?"
----
A barrel of gunpowder was pushed into a room with a Twilight Tragedy mask on it.

"It's the enemy! Charge'er all at once boys! Not one at a time with the rest of us at a safe distance like idiots would!" The guards covered the barrel of gun powder, and were all promptly blown up. Discord's troops calmly trotted past.

--
"We are so smart! All the control stations FACE the entry door so no one can sneak up on us!"

The door opened to reveal a cockatrice.
--
Twilight Tragedy remembered Master had actually wiped out the cockatrice, apparently he had a deep seated hatred of them. But she'd convinced him of their military applications so he brought them back... and made sure all of them faded with Tambelon. When Tragedy had tried to tell him that in five hundred years Grogar might tame them, she got a safe dropped on her head.
--
Grogar smashed into Discord's fortress with his army behind him. Found it empty, except for a small device with a blinking light counting down. Grogar fled immediately with his entire army.

"Now how did my egg timer get out here?"
--
Rarigreed finished her perfectly tailor made uniform of the enemy and sneaked in. After sneaking in several extra (non-poison) donuts into the guards' lounge.

A couple hours later she shouted! "LOOK! That fat guard's uniform doesn't perfectly fit him! All our uniforms are tailor made! He must be a spy!"

They clobbered him.

"Good job soldier for finding that spy! You're promoted to looking after the secret files!"
---
"They landed on the ship and are wrecking it! Turn the turrets inward!"

"They don't turn inward!"

"We're doomed!"
---
"I will make the main entrance to my fortress standard-sized. While elaborate 60-foot high double-doors definitely impress the masses, they are hard to close quickly in an emergency."

"GGGGAAAH! Why are our armies getting slaughtered simply because they have to exit the fortress one at a time single file?!"
----
"If I have several diabolical schemes to destroy the hero, I will set all of them in motion at once rather than wait for them to fail and launch them successively."

"Oh no! Our resources are spread so thin! And because they were spread so thin all the plans at once failed! And now the armies of chaos are prepared for all the plans we had!"
---
"Should the hero escape, I will not send my army on a suicide mission to chase him into an impenetrable asteroid field, burning swamp, or forest of carnivorous trees. They will instead flank the area if possible, and practice basic marksmanship while waiting for the hero to reemerge. Well-trained troops are difficult to come by, and if they let my enemy escape, then they need more training."

"... we've been sitting out here for three years, I don't think the chaos six are coming out. I think they had a secret passage to somewhere else inside."

"Shut up and keep practicing your crossbow!"
----
"Whatever my one vulnerability is, I will fake a different one. For example, ordering all mirrors removed from the palace, screaming and flinching whenever someone accidentally holds up a mirror, etc. In the climax when the enemy whips out a mirror and thrusts it at my face, my reaction will be 'Hmm... I think I need a shave.'"

Grogar was then punched in the face, the hoof now having several shards of glass in it that were now in his face instead.
-----
"All firearms stored in easy-to-reach closets will be decoys that explode upon use. Furthermore, incompetent henchmen will be issued the same weapons and be instructed never to fire them. When the hero inevitably steals their weapon and tries using it, he will blow himself up."

"HALT OR WE'LL SHOOT!"

"Try me."

The guards pulled the trigger on the weapons that had been switched with the booby trap weapons and blew themselves up.
----
"I will decree that all hay be shipped in tightly-packed bales. Any wagonload of loose hay attempting to pass through a checkpoint will be set on fire."

The hay was set on fire, and so were the several sticks of TNT hidden inside.

Outside the world of make-believe Discord whispered to Fluttercruel, "You know, outside of Sky Ocean, I've mandated the fire and TNT to be real for this scene."

"Aww! Why couldn't we be watching one of those?!"

"Don't worry, I'll take you to one later."

"At least I didn't get lit on fire that time... " said Angry Pie.

"SHUSH!" Rarigreed whispered as loudly as possible.

----
"If I ever build a device to transfer the hero's energy into me, I will make sure it cannot operate in reverse.... I really should have made sure the hero wouldn't use it on ME first... dangit."
----
"If I have the hero cornered and am about to finish him off and he says "Look out behind you!!" I will not laugh and say "You don't expect me to fall for that old trick, do you?" Instead I will take a step to the side and half turn. That way I can still keep my weapon trained on the hero, I can scan the area behind me, and if anything was heading for me it will now be heading for him."

And was promptly attacked from behind (formally his side) where before he would have seen the attack coming with his peripheral vision.
---
"I will add indelible dye to the moat. It won't stop anyone from swimming across, but even dim-witted guards should be able to figure out when someone has entered in this fashion."

"Intruders!" The first set of guards ran away screaming from the rest of the guards after the enemy had hit them with water balloons filled with indelible dye.
-----
"I will not have captives of one sex guarded by members of the opposite sex."

"You know I'm into fillies," Said Traitor Dash.

"Really?" Asked the female guard.

POW! "No."
-----
"I will be an equal-opportunity despot and make sure that terror and oppression is distributed fairly, not just against one particular group that will form the core of a rebellion."

"He treats us ALL like garbage! Get'em!"
----
"I will exchange the labels on my folder of top-secret plans and my folder of family recipes. Imagine the hero's surprise when he decodes the stolen plans and finds instructions for Grandma's Goat Cheese Salad."

"HEY!" Rarigreed shouted, "Where's the recipe for his grandma's goat cheese salad?"
----
"I will instruct my guards when checking a cell that appears empty to look for the chamber pot. If the chamber pot is still there, then the prisoner has escaped and they may enter and search for clues. If the chamber pot is not there, then either the prisoner is perched above the lintel waiting to strike them with it or else he decided to take it as a souvenir (in which case he is obviously deeply disturbed and poses no threat). Either way, there's no point in entering."

"Do we have enough time to complete the escape tunnel?"

"Don't worry I hid the chamber pot."
----
"If I'm sitting in my camp, hear a twig snap, start to investigate, then encounter a small woodland creature, I will send out some scouts anyway just to be on the safe side. (If they disappear into the foliage, I will not send out another patrol; I will break out the napalm.)"

Burning Angry Pie burst from the painted forest backdrop.

"Just how many times during that war did you get lit on fire?" Twilight asked the real Angry Pie.

"Too many!"

----
"I will order my guards to stand in a line when they shoot at the hero so he cannot duck and have them accidentally shoot each other. Also, I will order some to aim above, below, and to the sides so he cannot jump out of the way."

"Good thing those guards were all in a neat line for me to tackle down like dominos." Said Traitor Dash.

"I'm just happy only a few of the bolts were aimed at me, the rest were bad shots, I may not have been able to block them all," said Rarigreed.
-----
"Ropes supporting various fixtures will not be tied next to open windows or staircases, and chandeliers will be hung way at the top of the ceiling."

Fluttercruel giggled as she cut the rope from the ceiling.
-----
"Whenever plans are drawn up that include a timetable, I'll post-date the completion three days after it's actually scheduled to occur and not worry too much if they get stolen. HEY! Where are all the materials and guards for this project?!"

"Well sir, the secret plans did say you didn't want it completed for three more days."
-----
The Infernal Gallop from Orpheus and the Underworld (or the Can-Can) played in the background as guards ran away screaming from a toxic goo vat turned on its side rolling towards them via Rarigreed on the top trotting backwards with a smile on her face.

"My vats of hazardous chemicals will be covered when not in use. Also, I will not construct walkways above them."
-----
"If my weakest troops fail to eliminate a hero, I will send out my best troops instead of wasting time with progressively stronger ones as he gets closer and closer to my fortress."

"Grogar's best troops have left Tambelon! Now is the time to attack!"
------
"When my guards split up to search for intruders, they will always travel in groups of at least two. They will be trained so that if one of them disappears mysteriously while on patrol, the other will immediately initiate an alert and call for backup, instead of quizzically peering around a corner."

"ALERT! ALERT!"

"Hi guys."

"It's the guy who vanished! Must a changeling! Get'em!"

"All I did was use the little minions' room!"
-------
"I will hire an entire squad of blind guards. Not only is this in keeping with my status as an equal opportunity employer, but it will come in handy when the hero becomes invisible or douses my only light source."

"SEIZE HIM!" Shouted the actress Liarjack in an imitation of Grogar's voice.

"NO! SEIZE THEM!" Grogar shouted in a higher pitched squeaky voice thanks to some helium Tragedy had released into the chamber.
------
"I will have all hallways in my fortress randomly shift in decoration and color to negate the possibility of anyone blending into the surroundings.

I will install a fire extinguisher in every room ... three, if the room contains vital equipment or volatile chemicals."

"Wow, this fire extinguisher disguise is really paying off."
------
"The halls of my Fortress Of Clockwork Darkness will always be straight, and my guards will not be dispatched on winding patrols through the corridors. Rather they will be stationed, four at a time, back-to-back, at every intersection."

A scale replica of Tom rolled onstage and toppled the guards like bowling pins complete with sound effect.

"That's my Tom!" Rarigreed shouted happily.
------
"If I am fighting with my opposite number atop a moving platform, have disarmed him, and am about to finish him off and he glances behind me and drops flat, I too will drop flat instead of quizzically turning around to find out what he saw."

Grogar charged his powerful magic to petrify the draconequi, Discord ducked, Grogar quickly did too, Discord got up instantly and hit Grogar over the head with a Sherman Tank.
-----
Tragedy calmly blasted the door mechanisms to the guards' quarters one after another. As soon as the alarm was raised there was much banging on the inside.

This was followed by a swift scene of Tragedy blasting a door mechanism for the room they had been locked in which caused it to swiftly open.

"You think it would be the other way around," 'Traitor Dash' observed.

"Yes you think so," 'Tragedy' commented.

+++

"Because we're the smart ones!" "And that's why we're the smart ones!" "How can this be! We're the smart ones!"

Angry Pie struggled in her chains to try and attack Discord as he was on his belly laughing with tears in his eyes. He hugged himself. "BWAAHAHA! OW! MY SIDES! BWAHAHAH!" He slammed his fist down as he continued to laugh himself silly at the opera. He rolled on the floor still giggling.

On stage a number of slaves introduced themselves to Fluttercruel as Grogar's personal female slaves who wanted to be liberated from him. The moment Fluttercruel's back was turned they tried to tickle her. "Nice try! But I am immune to tickling!" And brought out a giant feather and began to tickle them.

In the audience Twilight Tragedy remembered what had actually happened.
++++
Fluttercruel pulled the knife out of her head and smiled at the 'slaves.' "I like this game. My turn."

"Mommy."

And there were many loud noises and shaking of the room visible from the outside.
+++
Discord meanwhile had gotten Fluttercruel to laugh by tickling her with the tip of his tail under his chin. Which was rather gratuitous since she had actually laughed at a couple of the scenes by herself.

Eventually both got back in their chairs. Tragedy looked at them. Same sweep of their tail, the way they let their hoof/paw support their chin, but most important was their eyes. One lowered and one raised eyebrow, those eyes looking at all the world like it existed purely just to entertain them.

"Try to laugh at this!" A young seapony colt costumed as a faded blue unicorn with a brass fetlocks cutie mark shouted as he kicked onto stage. Several cheap cardboard cut out Tambelonian troops were set in his path to rampage through, using all four of his 'hooves' to rip through them. A seaglow pony projected light onto his 'horn' as massive magical hooves appeared beside him and trampled everything in his path at the endless tidal wave of 'enemies.'

"I hate how they're playing down Little Hex. I taught him a lot better than that," I vented.

"Artistic license," Rarigreed prattled.

"I still hate it," I answered back.

Little Hex was my eighth child. And these stupid seaponies couldn't even get his fighting style right. No you idiot! I didn't give birth to him! I hate stallions! Except my sons.

I've had twelve to twenty apprentices since, since everything began, counting Pound and Pumpkin. Stole them? Don't try to feed me horse apples, the Cakes were useless as parents. When she gave birth to them after everything began Tragedy tells me they forgot to cut the umbilical cords and somepony had to do it for them! Seriously! If you saw the disgusting state they were in covered in filth when I found them being laughed at by their parents you'd THANK ME!

How can I not know how many I've had? My apprentices aren't inventory, I don't keep stock.

How do I even pick an apprentice? It's not like I go hunting for one when the old one dies. They aren't cart parts. They aren't toys that I replace when the batteries die.

It's if I find a foal who's crying, -filly, mare, unicorn, pegasus, Virgacorn, doesn't matter- I measure them and I just ask them one question:

"They laughed at you?"

Little Hex answered, "Yes."

"Come with me."

No, I don't FORCE them to come with me. If I did, I'd have had a lot more. If they don't come, they haven't seen the truth yet!

He was a unicorn, I don't really recall seeing many when I adopted him. And yes others laughed at him. They're the only ones I know I can trust, the only ones I know who aren't laughing at me. After all, I'm a part of them and they're a part of me, and who'd laugh at themselves? It's stupid to think anypony would.

Ponies always forget somepony else has to hurt when they laugh, they'll pay for being so selfish, they DESERVE Discord!

Discord knows better than to ever touch any of my apprentices. Fluttercruel knows better than to 'toy' with them. Rarigreed knows better than to steal from them. Liarjack know better than to lie to them. And Traitor Dash knows better than to betray them.

Hurt them? I'LL KILL YOU! YOU HEAR ME! STUPID CHAIN CHAIR! I'LL KILL YOU!!! Yes I don't pull punches when teaching them! Who they fight aren't going to either! Yes I give them the hard knocks! Life is hard! I don't ENJOY IT! I don't hurt them just to hurt them! I'd never do that! I don't FORCE them to fight! They choose their battles!

Little Hex didn't let that he was a unicorn stop him from being down and dirty, he didn't let it stop him from being hands on. Discord let him use magic but Little Hex didn't rely on it.

He actually had the guts to take on Grogar head on, of course I had to use myself as a shield when Grogar tried to vaporize him. Then I had to break his leg after he refused to let me handle the fight with just me and the five others.

NO! I DIDN'T LET IT SET WRONG YOU BUCKING NAG! I SWEAR I'LL MURDER YOU!

But sooner than later, it happened to Little Hex like it happened to the rest. He became a stallion rather than a colt, then he got old, then his body became fragile, then his heart stopped. Thieving time. Thieving death. I'd kill it if it dared show its face to me! Discord won't make them immortal like me! He says he can't! He must be lying! I hate when he laughs at me! But I hate it more when he won't let me keep them forever!

Pound and Pumpkin? They were UNBEATABLE as a pair! And they were the only ones of my apprentices to ever be better than me. Even one on one I was hard pressed to knock them over. Pegasi are supposed to fragile, there was nothing fragile about Pound, and he lived up to his name, oh yes.

I saw him break every bone in a Minotaur's body single hooved! He was fantastic! And Pumpkin, heh, no one ever tried to fight her and walked away. No they never asked about their parents. And I never told them.

My apprentices were the only ones who never laughed at me. Or at anyone else. They knew what it's like to be laughed at, even if it was as filth covered toddlers by their own parents.

Just like all my later students, they knew laughter for what it is. And I made sure not Liarjack, not Discord, not Fluttercruel used them for their cheap laughs.

Maybe, just maybe, when Discord had laughed enough at the world, the world will see it isn't a laughing matter.
+++++
I used to be known as Rainbow Dash, the pony who didn't know fear, and I'm downright CREEPED OUT whenever Angry Pie takes a foal under her hooves. Even Tragedy shivers a little. No, not anything she does to them, her...

She just becomes so calm for the fifty or sixty years they last before the trumpet calls. All that rage, fury, hate, it's all still there! But it's like an ocean after a storm, those same waters that were killing ponies a minute ago turn so still!

She's just as determined to smash the life out of anything that she hears or thinks she hears laugh. But, she's actually MORE determined to beat the life out of anypony that crosses her apprentice. Liarjack told a kind hearted white lie to apprentice number three once... it took a lot for her element of chaos to rebuild her.

I remember when apprentice number five was smashing her way through, I think it was dragons at that point, and began laughing her head off in the middle of the killing field. Angry Pie leapt in front of her, reared her hoof back, and punched the head off the dragon who had been right behind her student, then hugged her!

Sweet everything, it's down right CRAZY! Like someone pulls a switch! And moment they're buried in Angry Pie's private graveyard, she seals it off and suddenly we've got a wild animal that walks on four hooves again!

The worst part? When they're around, I can almost see her smile, I can almost see a memory, of a dream, of a ghost, of the Pinkie Pie I knew and loved as my friend.
+++++

'Grogar' slowly faded away along with his city. "I am order, I am law, I am the overwhelming power that crushes all that stands in my way, I am the force that bends all to my will. I will force all under my hooves, for I am the weight that chains all against the endless storms of chaos. I will be the one to bring peace and stability to all that lives under my rule. I shall return. I shall always return. Tambelon shall always rise again, and so shall I."

Puppet Discord then hit Grogar in the face with a cream pie, and the play ended with a reprise of 'Let The Bell Of Chaos Ring' to cheers and fin clapping. Tragedy dimly remembered the exchange ending slightly different. Grogar had faded back into his exile, -laughing- at Master?

Tragedy wondered why the opera left that out, wasn't this supposed to be a comedy? It was the only time she'd seen Grogar laugh. Or Master so furious.

"I hope you enjoyed the show!" Seawing swam out and took a bow as the musicians and actors and effects crew did the same.

"It . . . it made me laugh." RD smiled in spite of herself. LJ gently hugged her.

"I can't wait to tell your brothers and sisters at home Ruby."

"Say hello to them for me." Seawing bowed.

Angry Pie and Fluttercruel both agreed it needed more explosions.

"Let this be a lesson my Twilight Tragedy," Master said glancing at her. "All the 'evil overlord list' does is trade one set of predictable patterns for another. Any ANY pattern is exploitable. Falling into any pattern is a trap. Any pattern... a trap." Discord gritted his teeth for less than a moment.

Tragedy obediently nodded. "Yes Master."

+++

Apple Pie. Why?

What entertainment value did it have to Master to spare her life? And to deny Fluttercruel a chance to amuse herself no less? (How much are you sure she matters?)

Twilight Tragedy looked around her spartan bedroom. Again nothing. Was she developing split personalities? Working for an insane master did tend to drive one's self insane and she had served him for at least a thousand years. Why did Angry Pie suddenly come to mind?

Well, Tragedy was sure Apple Pie mattered. Had to matter. Or at least, thoughts of her wouldn't leave Twilight alone. She was a sliver in Tragedy's brain that would not leave her alone. She needed answers. (If you need information take it.)

Yes. She would not gain her answers sitting here. It would be gamble, but she was sure Master would approve once she had explained her snap decision to follow an impulse, it was the sort of thing Master would do after all.

I sat in the garden again. Coming here, thinking whether or not to finally go through with my plan. Fluttercruel and Angry Pie were practicing on that Poison something or other they had brought to the castle to sate Fluttercruel's sadism and Angry Pie's rage. Liarjack was with Rarigreed again listening to her describe her treasures. And Traitor Dash was all alone with Master once again. I had given Spike his wash and had stayed with him until he fallen asleep.

So here I was again, wondering about going through with this crazy plan, that in of itself should have been proof enough I should do it. After all, wasn't 'crazy' what it was all about?

The stars, so far away, slowly changing, slowly ROTTING. Day for less than a minute this time. The sky random and mindless, was it also rotten? Then the stars again and their slow, slow decay, did they have a point? And yet,

"They are still beautiful," I whispered watching the stars above me. They had been as much my companions these thousand years as much as Spike.

This alien curiosity would not leave me alone, and until it did, I could not find peace with my purpose again.

I do not have a precise clear-cut idea of where I am going, so best to avoid teleportation, being immortal didn't make teleporting inside a wall any more pleasant. And if I went by sky, I was more likely to be spotted. So that means I'll have to hoof it. This is going to be a long trot. I consider telling Master or one of the others, but this is going hard enough without outside interference.

(Outside opinion may taint your findings.)

Outside bias would taint the data after all, it's best to go it alone.

I pass the maids as I go, all of them with smiles on their faces as they use their rags and buckets to dirty up the castle to keep it from becoming clean. Depending on what Master has raining, that's sometimes harder than it looks. Sometimes he plays with them by making it rain soap and water. That pony that circles the castle gets a smile when that happens and she watched the bubbles float by.

Out the Tea-Kettle Gate I go, between the Bikehelmet Gate and the East Dakota Gate. At least I didn't turn into a giant snail, chicken, or rolling dragon egg this time going through the passage.

"Go away! I'm not going to stop! Not when it's for her!"

It was her again. Crippled wings, formally broken legs that hadn't set right, filly shaped muffin on her back, being bounded by the blackbirds. Best to just pass her by and... I'm curious what her name is. I've, I've always been curious what her name is but, I've only put minimal effort into it before. One curiosity makes another harder to bear.

She just keeps up her rambling and the birds just keep trying to peck apart her cargo. One thousand years and they've still not managed to get it from her.

(You shouldn't get distracted.)

I shouldn't get distracted. But I am doing this to unburden this new curiosity, in for a bit, in for jewel.

Primary Obstacle: blackbirds.

Solution: remove.

A blast of ice magic and the birds were sealed inside some ice-cubes until they melted out or they remanifested. Either way, they are out of my way for now.

The gray pony just kept mumbling to herself. "Go away, just go away-"

"Hello," I said in the stern, hard voice I could manage. Nothing.

I stood in front of her. She bumped right into me and tried to keep going. I held her up with my magic.

Now I had her attention. "NO! STOP! LET ME GO! DON'T LET THEM HURT HER!"

"What is your name?"

"LET ME GO! LET HER GO! HE SAID HE WOULDN'T CHEAT!"

This was useless. I released her. And began walking backwards as she continued to trot. It's surprising how fast she can trot with those hurt legs.

"I froze the birds. What is your name?"

She actually startled. But kept trotting like always. "Y-you froze the-"

"They'll melt out sooner or later. I froze them to ask you a question. Consider the reprieve a trade for the information I want. What is your name?"

"It's... her name is Dinky." She glanced at the muffin.

I suppressed a groan, I didn't need to know the name of baked-goods, "What is your name?"

"It's... her name is Dinky and... my mother daughter's name is Sparkler and... "

"What is your name? I'll refreeze them for a little longer if you tell me." I felt dirty being reduced to deals.

"Ditzy Doo... or maybe it's Derpy Hooves. Maybe both?"

"Ponies don't have two names."

"What's your name?"

"Twilight Tragedy."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes I am sure." I was the one supposed to be asking the questions.

"Okay. I think it might be something else."

"We've never spoken before."

"Whiff blue way woe."

"What?"

"Sorry. Sometimes my mouth doesn't say what I want it to say, it's always been like that. I sometimes confuse west and north too."

"Not that big a loss," in Master's world.

"Thank you for stopping the birds."

"I did it only because I wanted to speak to you without interference."

"Wall the fame, blank blue."

"... You are welcome. Excuse me."

"Blue don't have to blow."

"Sorry. But I have somewhere I am going, and I won't be able to think straight until I've learned what's there."

"Bits been so long wince I balked with somepony."

"We can speak again when I am not busy."

"... Alright..."

Having burned enough time on an impulse (Master would approve) I continued toward my destination at a gallop. But, as promised, I quickly refroze the birds so they'd stay sealed a little while longer.

+++

I see Miss Tragedy run away to wherever she's going to. Her face is so blank. It feels so familiar. It's been so long since... since I've...spoken to anypony.

Lord Discord makes sure my memories don't fade no matter how many years pass. I remember Dinky's every smile, every skip. I remember the Doctor used to be a lot nicer too, now he acts just like Lord Discord.

I only know this because The Doctor comes out sometimes (he calls himself the Valeyard now), he, Fluttershy-Who-Isn't-Fluttershy 'Fluttercruel' and Discord sometimes come out here for funny face making contests.

Once Lord Discord had the Doctor, Lord Discord didn't stop, not for a moment, The Doctor kept screaming, his voice constantly changing but I knew it was him. Then one voice started laughing.

The voice laughed inside the castle, "A 'Doctor of Law' working with a god of chaos, you've got to love irony!"

I don't regret that I love my daughters again. Not for an instant.

I remember Sparkler, every gem, every pout. I remember Lord Discord making her a dancing purple crystal statue.

But they don't hurt. They push me forward, they keep me from falling, they lead the way. They're why I haven't given up. And why I won't give up. I won't abandon my babies, no matter how tiny the hope, I won't throw it away. When I've saved Dinky, I'll save Sparkler. After that, maybe I can save the Doctor too.

I waste rolling one of my eyes back towards the big ice cubes with the black birds in them, slowly cracking. I never stopped moving, and I won't stop moving. A faded streak of rainbow colors flashes past the ice-cubes, and I feel like the world just shook. I see the ice cubes holding the black birds flying over the horizon. I don't stop. I keep going. I know they'll be back. They're always back. But I'm happy for the reprieve. I'm thankful to whoever did it. I have six quadrillion laps around the castle to go after all.

Episode 73: (Dark World) Lemons and Flint Rocks

Pony POV Series
"Dark World" Part Five
By Alex Warlorn
Flint Rock
++++

I made Master proud again. I followed a gut instinct instead of a logical conclusion. Since I had virtually nothing to go on and no way to recover more at the moment, it was my only rational course of action given that I wished to complete this quest as swiftly as possible. The sooner this was resolved, the sooner things could get back to... normal? What was normal in Master's world? Abnormal was normal and normal was abnormal.

Apple Pie had felt familiar. So I had gone where I 'felt' she might be. Sweet Rock Acres outside of Ponyville, I knew the location, Liarjack had a habit of going out on a balcony and staring in its direction.

I didn't know how long I had before Master summoned me for what he wanted next. He could be anywhere doing anything at any time. Sometimes I barely had a chance to rest before he called me again, sometimes I had enough time to practice eighty new spells before he came back. Almost made me wonder what he was doing that moment.

"Hello ponies of Trotkyo, Neighpon! To help teach my adorable and wonderful minion Fluttercruel that chaos is about making yourself feel good and making others miserable is a means to an end, not an end unto itself (!) I, Discord-Sama-San-Kun The Super Kawaii, have selected you -via the precise science of blind dart board tossing- you fine, miserable ponies whose ancestors I had to enchant to keep from committing mass Seppuku (all I did was make the whole country a cheesy, plotless samurai flick, I just don't know what went wrong). Yes, you fine ponies who spend everyday it seems just waiting to die and continue to have children out of a sense of tradition more than anything.

"You have become utterly indifferent to my games and seem to rush towards my little princess and Angry Pie with open hooves whenever they come to visit and have only encouraged her behavior. So, you're getting the super Discord deluxe special!

"You lot over there are now cat-filly-ponies! Nice bell collars! Cute cat ears and all those other cliche cute feline things!"

"Meow! Purrrrfect!"

"And you good pony! Let's give you some scales instead of fur, and a really long neck, divide up your psyche and give each one a head! Ta-da! The world's first hydra pony!"

"I/We/They-Am/Are-Very/A little/kinda-confused/angry/scared/giddy!"

"You lot over there, in sailor uniforms, you girls. Stand up on your rear hooves, readjust your spines, give you opposable-thumbs and, ta-da! Anthro-ponies!"

"What are these round things on our chests?"

"And where are you cute little foals running from? Let's see, and THERE! You look right out of Generation Three Point Five! Oh that takes me back!"

"?ytrap a evah ot stnaw ohW"

"And talk backwards! HAHA! And YOU there now resemble my cousin Ponythulu! Maybe later I should have you fight the Hydra Pony after making you both the size of buildings, you ponies love your giant monster fights. And next we have transparent hug and nuzzle happy slime ponies like you see on some websites!"

"Hey! Stop hugging me!"

"Now now, princess, no weapons. Now where was I? Oh yes, since I made a bunch of mares cat-filly-ponies, I'll make you guys dog-colt-ponies! Be sure to play nice with the fillies!"

"Bark-bark! Got no bone to pick with them!"

"You two hmmmm, what sour looks on your faces! I know! TA-DA! Kitsune-foxy ponies! Ooooh, looks like you love confusion and mischief as much as I do now... almost. Nice to see some ponies seeing things my way for once! I should have done that one sooner! HA! Don't think I didn't see you crack a smile for a second there my little Fluttercruel! Rapid fire! Android Maid Pony!"

"Observation: this is most illogical."

"Duh! That's the point! Next! You sneaking around the street corner! And now you're Fluffy Puffy Ponies! So round, huggable and soft! Hmmm, I think you might actually be copyrighted! But when have the copyright gods stopped me-?! Aren't you adorable! BWAHAHAH!"

"We feel so puffy and light. Anypony wanna a hug?"

"Oh don't grimace Fluttercruel! Enjoy the ride! And you four, chinese dragon pony! So many legs. The four of you won't mind sharing one brain right? Ha!

"And the coup-de-grace!... You hiding under the upside down tree! Nice mare! Brave mare! You get the special honor! And ala-kaaa-ZAP!"

"Since when is exploding an special honor?"

"I didn't explode her my princess! That's boring. Look!"

"Oh my!" "Oh my!" "Oh my!" "Oh my!" "Oh my!" "Oh my!" "Oh my!" "Oh my!" "Oh my!" "Oh my!" "Oh my!" "Oh my!" "Oh my!" "Oh my!" "Oh my!" "Oh my!" "Oh my!" "Oh my!" "Oh my!" "Oh my!" "Oh my!" "Oh my!" "Oh my!" "Oh my!" "Oh my!" "Oh my!" "Oh my!" "Oh my!" "Oh my!" "Oh my!" "Oh my!" "Oh my!" "Oh my!" "Oh my!" "Oh my!" "Oh my!" "Oh my!" "Oh my!" "Oh my!" "Oh my!" "Oh my!" "Oh my!" "Oh my!" "Oh my!" "Oh my!" "Oh my!" "Oh my!" "Oh my!" "Oh my!" "Oh my!" "Oh my!" "Oh my!" "Oh my!" "Oh my!" "Oh my!" "Oh my!" "Oh my!"

"What-the-Grandma-"

"If you're curious what you are, you're called Breezies, that's the species name, not you, the person, or rather persons now."

"Oh my!" "Oh dear!" "Oh dear!" "Oh Dear!" "What's this!" "What's this!" "Don't hurt me more!" "Change me, er, us back!" "WOW! I can fly!" "I feel pretty!" "I'M A STALLION NOW?!" "Why aren't we all the same color?" "Just a bad dream!" "A happy dream!" "Erm. Which one of us is the original?" "I think we all are." "This is cool!" "This creepy!" "HOW IS MY COLT FRIEND GONNA ACCEPT ME, US, NOW-?!"

"Hmmm. I guess you could use a few more to have a viable population model."

"You had to open your big mouth!" "Sorry!" "Maybe this way we all get to still be with him?" "But I'm a guy now!" "Maybe some of him will be fillies?" "That's besides the point!" "Leave him alone!" "Zap-'em!" "How can you say that!" "Don't wanna be alone." "Everypony run!" "Everypony scatter!" "Everypony stand together!" "Everypony rush him at once!" "Everypony go off in pairs!" "Everyone Cluster together!" "Stop it!" "You're all crazy!" "You're crazy!" "If everyone else but us are crazy, does that make us the crazy ones?"

"Don't worry about having identical Egos, you'll individualize sooner than later! Now then! My recreated races, new species, and sideshow freaks! A parade in my honor, and more importantly that of maybe my minion learning a bit more about the many unique wonders of chaos! Look deeply at my waving swirlie baton now! Get in a rough, vague, ill defined line! And forward! We'll all have a swim with the self-animated inflatable pool toy ponies afterwards!

"And remember! No more anger! Your world is happy and mundane! Just ask the marching tori gates and dancing water coolers!"

Fluttercruel couldn't help herself anymore, she laughed.

Anywhere, doing anything at all.

So this is Sweet Rock Acres huh? I don't know what I was expecting but I have to say I'm kinda disappointed. No I did not speak out loud. I am not stupid. If a subject knows they are being observed, this shall invariably change their behavior. But first I needed to find her.

Stupid rock farm. Rarigreed wasn't completely interested in these places, she only seemed interested in 'ripe' rocks, however that works. How did these even work anyway? It was completely illogical. Did Master make them grow and make the inside edible? Then why were rock farms in the books from the Pre-Chaos Era?

(Isn't it rather hypocritical for such a logical pony to serve the antithesis of reason?)

If the voice hadn't had a source before, I saw no reason why it would suddenly have a source now. However. 'People work best together when they balance each other. A logical pony is the only one who could serve a Master who contradicts reason.'

(Don't you mean ponies 'instead' of 'people'?)

'The world is made up of more than just ponies. It would be self-centered.'

The rock fields went on for miles in every directions, ranging from sizes from boulders like Tom to pebbles. But, there was a sense of loose organization to it. Patterns. Like a classic zen rock garden. I felt the slightest tingle of magic flowing through these lines. It so sublime however I couldn't determine its nature with just a passive detection. My curiosity teased me again. Great. More complications. More details. I'd do that after I had observed Apple Pie and gathered enough information.

(And how do you intend to do that?)

With my eyes and ears of course.

(And do you think you'll gather enough data by the time your 'Master' calls you back? And what happens when he learns what you're doing? Do you think he'll like you prying into his private life? His little secrets? Do you really believe that if he thinks you'll learn something from her that he doesn't want you to that he won't shut off the source? He did instantly send the six of you home after meeting her.)

. . . And I'll never be at peace.

(Precisely. You need a more direct route.)

What do you mean?

(Ask her.)

That is illogical. She'll never answer truthfully and openly with one of Master's six after our purge of Ponyville.

(Correct.)

And? So what then?

(You can't figure it out for yourself? A smart pony like you.)

If she won't answer one of Master's six. Therefore another must ask. But the fewer who know the better. And I don't have time to collect a proxy. Therefore I must ask. This is a contradiction.

(You are overthinking things.)

Simplest solution? Apple Pie just need not know she is speaking to one of Master's six.

(Correct.)

The correct spells needed are obvious then.

(Correct.)

It shifted to day.

As the saying goes: nothing else to it. I've had since the beginning of everything to expand my library of magic. I've replicated magic from unicorns, virgacorns, pegasi, hippogriffs, and changelings.

I retrieved the necessary spell from my mind, adjusted my own magic to cast it, and picked the most appropriate form I could imagine.

I magic up a mirror to check my looks, remember I can't use that kind of magic in this form, and use a nice nearby puddle. Perfect.

Now to trot into the rock farm and find the source of my contradictions.

Let's see. Several barns full of rocks. A farm house. A tool shed. An out house. Mostly made of stone blocks. Rock tools neatly organized. Rocks of all shapes and sizes, drab gray rocks, bright colored rocks, plaid rocks, night glow rocks (the non-radioactive kind), Pony Eating Rock, wait what-?!

The Pony Eating Rock opened its jaws, revealing its long pointy teeth, its tongue drooling at me, it had no eyes but I knew it was looking right at me! It made an intelligible noise that I think meant it was hungry. Why wasn't I moving? WHY WASN'T I MOVING-?! It opened its jaws up bigger and reached out its tongue, slowly wrapping around me.

"Here boy!" A stick of dynamite arced through the air and went straight into the Pony Eating Rock's mouth. It made a noise of surprise and exploded, forcing me to cover my face for protection. Can't regenerate where the subject might see me.

An Earth pony filly with an orange mane galloped next to me. She had a pale pink coat, but all pony colors are pale. I noticed her cutie mark was a bundle of dynamite. She pulled down around neck a pair of goggles.

"Ya okay?" She asked polite concern in her voice, greeting me like an old neighbor.

She was talking to me? "I am fine." Being eaten once by a dragon was bad enough.

"HEY! What did we tell ya about yer kind comin' round here?!" Shouted another filly, this one with a white mane and light gray coat, but decidedly a filly. Her cutie mark was a jack hammer.

The gray filly stomped over to the former giant pony eat rock, that was now several little Pony Eating Rocks. The small horde took one look at the second's filly's face and managed a good job of looking afraid at her stare. The second filly grinned, "Or maybe ya want to see how many of ya can fit inta a rock pie?"

The small horde of Pony Eating Rocks broke into a panic and hopped away as fast as their non-existent legs could carry them.

"AND DON'T COME BACK!" The first filly shouted at the retreating avalanche. Then gave a small kick to a random big rock hard enough to form a small crack in its surface. "You too!"

And the rock formed a frowning scared fanged mouth and got up on comically thin legs and skittered away following the avalanche.

I felt my jaw drop from my face.

"Sorry 'bout that. Annoyin' buggers," said the filly with the TNT cutie mark with slightly higher than normal volume, "Ah'm Cream Pie. Ah blow stuff inta cream."

"You don't say." I replied.

"And This here bundle of sunshine is Banana Pie."

"Howdy." Said the gray filly giving a quick salute kicking her hooves together.

"Welcome to Sweet Rock Acres!" they both exclaimed, their yell almost knocking me off my hooves.

The first pony crossed her forehooves and smiled while the second one smirked. "What can Ah do ya for?" Cream Pie asked.

"I'm, I'm looking for a filly named Apple Pie, orange coat, green mane. I think her eyes are orangish gold?" Why did that eye color feel familiar? And why did 'Cutie Mark Crusader Book Editors' keep popping into my head and making me shudder when I think of it?

"Sure we do! She's mah little sister!" Cream Pie answer, hopping up to me with a big smile. "What business ya got with her?" Asked in a perfectly open and welcoming manner.

Two pairs of blue eyes looked at me brightly.

I kicked my brain into overdrive. "I heard how brave she was in Ponyville when the elements of chaos came to town, and I wanted to meet her."

Their faces turned sullen.

"She shouldn't have even been there. Learin' magic is mighty risky." Said the filly whose special talent was apparently making things explode.

"If the Virgacorns wanna get hurt then that's their business, but Apple Pie shouldda known better than to get involved," Added Banana Pie.

"All the same I really want to meet her," I said.

Banana Pie looked at my flank curiously. "Nice cutie mark! What's it fer?"

My cutie mark now was a single little white star. It was impossible to truly fake a cutie mark, but a couple simple illusion and image spells let you at least cover up part of it. An old trick among celebrity ponies but effective and more reliable than a sticker.

"It's for star gazing," I answered without missing a beat.

The fillies said nothing, ponies had cutie marks for stranger things.

"Come'on! We'll take ya to big sister! She's likely in 'er room," said Banana Pie.

We trotted to the farm house, about the only thing not made of stone was the door and windows. From the sky, it probably looked unremarkable from above, which made it safer for them. -Of course Master would see that as a challenge.-

Cream Pie skipped, almost bounced ahead energized while Banana Pie stayed next to me taking in every detail of me, I'd be nervous if I could feel.

I notice scarring on Banana Pie's back, I couldn't tell if they were fang or claw marks, but it had been something big.

We were just at the front steps when the ground rumbled.

I felt it a lot sooner than I normally would have as a unicorn. The fillies kept straight faces and actually smiled a bit. I braced for whatever came next.

A diamond dog dug his way out of the dirt, his crystalline form resistant to the dirt and grim he had just been borrowing through.

"Peace, love, and mercy to all that lives." The diamond dog bowed at us.

"Howdy Guru Fido." Cream Pie waved. Banana Pie gave a quick salute.

"Greetings Earth Pony Cream Pie. Earth Pony Cream Pie. And... what may this Earth Pony's name be I ask?"

"That's right we didn't catch yer name," Banana Pie asked looking at me grinning.

"Oh it's... it's... it's-"

"Oh, are ya surprises at Guru Fido? He's a Diamond Dog. He's a dog and he's made of diamond!" Banana Pie exposed. Least she didn't start jumping from topic to topic.

"Technically my people are not made 'from' diamonds, but do have a very similar cellular structure to diamonds and share the same physical resistance," the Guru corrected in a relaxed, calm voice.

I knew all that. Ahem. During the day of chaos, the Diamond Dogs, used to running from danger, dug deeper and deeper into the Earth than they ever had before in the mad fantasy this would help them escape Master.

Meanwhile the Diamond Dogs' primary predator, the Quarray Eels were among the species driven extinct accidentally by Master's games (Master turned them into balloon animals, if I'm not mistaken, and no one called him evil for it). But this was the last thing on their minds.

According to what information we were able to extract over the centuries, they had found a jewel buried deep beneath the ground. Set in a chamber inside a series of tunnels clearly made instead of formed naturally.

The diamond dogs being greedy and covetous creatures, had all reached for it, and so they had all fought for it. The details differed at this point. Either the gem shattered, an unnamed Diamond Dog had held it for a moment and had randomly thought of wishing to be smarter, an impression of the jewels' previous owners acted, or the jewel's magic itself was disgusted by their avarice. No matter what happened, in a flash of magic, spreading through the tunnels, the diamond dogs had become the living crystal beings they were now, from the highest Alpha Male to the lowest pup and Omega Female.

For a couple minutes they tried to kill each other, their greed for gems still driving them, but then they simply, stopped, and thought, for a good twenty years. Turns out the crystal's energies had also increased their intellect and connection to the world at large. And with the Quarray Eels gone, and under Master's radar, they had the chance to stay in one spot and built their culture and civilization. Of course, this is all second hoof information.

What do you mean, 'lecture mode?'

I had known all this already. The simple fact was I had forgotten to invent an alias!

"What is your name purple Earth pony?" Guru Fido asked politely.

"It's..." Filly: Pony at the dawn of her life. Twilight. Between day and night. Light. Half light.

"I'm Half-Light Dawn." I managed at last.

"It is a pleasure to meet you Earth Pony Half-Light Dawn."

"The same." I played back. I began thinking of explanations for my reaction if need be.

"Guru Fido. Ya here for yer weekly trade?" Asked Cream Pie.

"Yes my dear I am."

"Whao okay just a tic'." Cream Pie galloped a short distance over into one of the barns. "HEY!" She called from within, "Watcha doin' in here?"

"Restin'?"

"Ya got a bedroom fer that!" And out was kicked a third Earth Pony filly.

She wasn't wearing that ridiculous white bonnet she had on when I first saw her selling rocks in Ponyville.

Cream Pie came out a minute later carrying four baskets of rocks with a surprising amount of ease, even for an Earth Pony filly.

"Greeting Earth Pony Apple Pie."

"Howdy Guru Fido."

Cream Pie hoofed off the baskets to Guru Fido, and then tossed a couple smaller stones on top of the one of the baskets. "A little somethin' for the Misses and yer litter Guru Fido."

"Thank you Earth Pony Cream Pie." The diamond dog then brought out several baskets of rainbow colored jewels which Apple Pie took back.

Master had a love/hate relationship with the diamond dogs, they kept peacefully accepting every drop of chaos he threw into the universe, and were a lot harder to drive insane than ponies and would often forgive him whenever he'd torment them.

(Discord doesn't deserve forgiveness.)

On the other hoof, their resistance to damage meant Master could play rougher with them. And Master liked to drive one crazy slowly over the course of a few years whenever he felt like he wanted a challenge.

"Um...Guru Fido...Before yah go could you...you know..."

"Of course, Earth Pony Apple Pie," Guru Fido replied with a somewhat solemn but still calm tone. He stepped off to the side and he and the three Pies all bowed their heads. I didn't want to stick out, so bowed mine and listened closer. "Magica, my friend, may your soul rest peacefully now that your journey is done...And may those who took you from us be forgiven for their sins..."

I feel a strange tightening in my chest...What was that?

After ending his prayer or whatever that was, the Guru gave thanks again for the trade and dove back down, collapsing the tunnel as he went.

"You do business with Diamond Dogs?" I heard myself ask.

"Yep!" Cream Pie said proudly assuming a statuesque pose, "Grandma said our ancestor was the Diamond Dog King Big Barkintosh."

Curiously came unbidden about that strangely familiar name. "I'd like to speak with your grandmother."

"Oh... she and ma got turned inta dragons by LMCBB Discord and flew off and never came back... they do send lots of nice letters from Dracotopia though," Banana Pie said, not quite as disturbed as one would expect.

Cream Pie and Apple Pie bowed their heads for a second.

Dracotopia... oh right, after alien invasion and the fall of old Avalon the dragons' numbers were so damaged that for the first time in history the dragons came together, in the name of survival, into one flight under Queen Tiamat rather than just gathering to mates and the Dragon Migration. After five hundred years it was an iron clad nation with each of its citizens an army until themselves and a sense of community unseen dragons before. They even watched over some of the ponies who were willing to swear their lives to Tiamat.

'Keep the world build in dialogue?' What are you talking about? You make no sense. Are you related to Master?

"I see," I said, not knowing how else precisely I was to respond to that.

"So who are ya?" Apple Pie raised an eyebrow at me.

"She's Half-Light Dawn, little sister," Cream Pie said, patting me on the back so hard I almost staggered.

I opened my mouth before they could continue, "I heard about how you survived what happened in Ponyville with the elements of chaos, and I wanted to meet you. I wanted to meet somepony so-" I struggled for proper wordage, "-awesome, cool and radical!" Huh?! Where did that come from?!

"Aren't those the same thing?" Banana Pie asked, blinking in a comical fashion.

"Well to her they clearly ain't." Responded back Apple Pie who trotted forward, "So let's all get formal introduced, Ah'm Apple Pie of Sweet Rock Acres."

I shook her hoof. "I'm Half-Light Dawn, it's a pleasure to meet you."

"Ditto!" The sun came down. "Dang! Wanna come inside? Ah'll show ya mah room."

"Can we talk about what happened in Ponyville?"

Apple Pie startled. She looked, hurt? "It's kinda, well, it's not really-"

"Please please please please PLEEEEASSSE? I'm going to go crazy if I don't hear about it from you! The source! I can't rest until I hear it all from you! Pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty please!" I trotted towards her and leaned forward and she leaned back as I got in her face.

"Well, Ah, uh,... maybe just a bit?"

I feel something inside me. Like a burst of something. Light, flowing, it pulled up on my facial muscles. I began to bounce around her.

"YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!"

The fillies all looked at each other then at me. "You okay?" Banana Pie asked tilting her head some.

I stopped myself. I felt a strange warmth in my face. What had come over me? I was supposed to get answers not more questions. "Uh, yes."

So into the farm house we trotted, right past a statue of an old pony who Cream Pie waved at while Banana gave another short salute. "Good-night Grandpa Rock Pie."

I am surprised that I was surprised when the statue smiled and saluted back. Rock Pie's cutie mark would, of course, be a pie full of rocks.

Inside an Earth Pony stallion wearing a ruffled pink apron (that matched his coat) with a red mane waved us in where he seemed to be making stone soup. Next to him were a bunch of blanks with what could been tiny city scape but were in a box scribbled 'circuit boards.' "Howdy girls! Whose yer friend?"

"Howdy dad! This here is Half-Light Dawn," Said Cream Pie, once more giving me a strong pat on the back. "She came ta see Apple Pie cause she survived Ponyville, and she nearly got eatin' by a rock."

"Ah thought we got rid of those things," He sounded annoyed.

"Don't worry, me an' Banana Pie weeded'em out," Cream Pie said happily like it was any other farm chore.

"Thought Ah heard an explosion, good job." The stallion then turned to me. "Well nice ta meetcha filly, Ah'm Apple Computer." That was a strange name. I saw his cutie mark was a keyboard, like a typewriter, and a screen with an apple on it. "Care for some rock soup?"

"Erm, I'm not hungry."

"Suit yerself."

Nopony asked where my parents were, thank the Master.

It was more than just the fillies, the grandfather, and the father in the farmhouse, which was not small for being made of stone bricks, how long had it taken to be built?

In the hallway I noticed a couple pictures that were faded, brittle, and slightly decayed that showed an Earth Pony on the cello with a music cutie mark, and a yellow Earth Pony Mare with a heart: hammer and wrench. What was familiar about them? The yellow one in particular just teased at my mind. But it was forgotten in the horde of relatives I was introduced to.

There was a baby colt named Orange Burst, a female toddler named Apple Juice, who were the sons of 'Aunt Apples N. Oranges.' A middle aged stallion named Uncle Crab Apple. A young adult pony dubbed Blackbird Pie. A pair of (non-identical) teenage colts twins, called Red Jack The 40th or something and Black Jack. Fruit-Of-The-Knowledge-Of-Good-And-Evil (actually an adopted mare who was originally part of the Pear clan). Cherry Apple. A hippgriff named Cheery Pie (her parents still wondering where she got those genes). Minty Pie. Rocky Pie II. And Humble Pie.

My entire head spun from the congo line of names and face. And the sense of being grateful I wasn't having food shoveled down my throat this time. This time? Why was I even feeling grateful at all?

I heard myself asking, "Is there a family reunion?"

Apple Pie shook her head (Cream Pie and Banana Pie had gone back to their chores, apparently there was always more work to be done on a farm). "Naw. Not really. It just pays off to have, to have... some back-up help, cause somethin' happens to somepony. "

That was when I noticed as I peaked in rooms, for every two beds occupied, there was one that was empty.

We got to Apple Pie's room, it was meant for more than just one filly. There were bunk beds on all sides of the room. Something told me the one with the camouflage pattern sheets and hanging headband was Banana Pie's, and the one with tools scattered about with a 'Cherry Bombs Out of Cherries' book was Cream Pie's.

I noticed some of them were empty. Not that strange when you think about it. But just, the way they were folded maybe, or how items were spaced around them, or the 'more empty than empty' vibe they gave off, or how Apple Pie avoided looking at them, it told me much.

I looked at the empty and preserved bed above next to the one Apple Pie sat on that I assumed was her own. "Who slept here?"

(You shouldn't have asked that. It doesn't have to do with your questions.)

I'm curious.

Apple Pie grimaced. This made no logical sense. Where was the filly who had laughed at Master's joke? Was this even the same filly?

"That there was Poison Apple's bed."

"Poison Apple?" I tilted my head. Had I heard that name in a fairy tale?

"She was Mah sister, Mah twin."

Her twin?

The green haired orange filly huddled close next to me. "Be quiet. We can get out of here. This castle is always changing but there's always a way out!" I whisper to her. The filly's cutie mark was an apple with a green skull.

"What about those bad mares?" She shuddered, she was covered in lashes on her back and face.

"Let me worry about them!"

Angry Pie turned around a corner and leapt at us. Maybe she smelled our blood. "FOUND YOU!"

"GOT YOU!" I blasted her through a wall.

"Hey, Ah never asked, what yer name?"

I smile at her, "It's Twilight Sparkle. Now let's hurry before more show-"

Discord appeared floating in a lounge position, "Now now Twilight, did you run off with one of Fluttercruel's toys?"

"Poison run!" I shouted at her.

"Ah can't-"

"DO IT!"

She ran away as fast as her legs would carry her.

"Alright Discord." I gritted my teeth and lowered my horn, "I'm-" He snapped is finger. "-ready to obey your commands my Master."

"Be a dear and recapture that little filly running behind you that somehow escaped."

"Yes Master." I turned around and created several magical shackles from made from my own mana, they flew towards the fleeing filly like cobras, and clamped around her legs and began to drag her back towards me.

"Miss Twilight Sparkle! What are you doin'?!"

"I do not know any pony named Twilight Sparkle, you are confused, I am Twilight Tragedy."

Angry Pie crawled out of the wall and punched me in the face. I don't try to understand her reasoning. Fluttercruel flutters past Master and I give the end of the chains to her.

Angry Pie growled, "She'll never laugh at me again!"

Fluttercruel smiled, "She'll never laugh at anything again soon enough." She created a meat cleaver from one of her feathers.

"Ah never laughed at ya!" Cried out the unnamed filly.

"LIAR!" Angry Pie brought her hoof down so fast the filly's teeth flew.

"Dawn? Dawn! Ya okay? Yer were in Breezie Land." Apple Pie asked.

I looked at her, and then at her cutie mark. Another sensation, like my chest was being constricted... I didn't like it. I asked, "Apple Pie, so Poison Apple was your identical twin?"

"How'd ya know?"

"It's, just what everypony thinks when they think of twins."

"Oh right. Yeah. She was, then she got taken ta LMCBB Discord's castle by Fluttercruel. She ain't the first taken ta never come back."

"I see...." I came to this filly looking for answers, but I was becoming only more confused.

Thankfully, the subject was changed by the sound of a rather gigantic explosion from outside. "Pa! What happened!" called Apple Pie sticking her head out the bedroom door echoing through the stone house.

"Oh, just an old land squid wandered too close to the house! Don't worry none, Cream Pie got 'em!" called back Apple Computer, his voice as if it were a normal everyday occurrence.

"Oh! Okay!" Apple Pie replied, then turned to me. "Looks like the rock soup will have extra flavor tonight."

No, I wasn't surprised that they were going to eat it, ponies had given up their stigma about eating meat about five hundred years ago (though cannibalism was still considered a taboo by most ponies). What surprised me was how they just rolled with it. A monster attacks the farm, they just blow it up and move on like it's business as usual. Was Master's world really so predictable that ponies considered this normal? It couldn't be, ponies still panicked when Master sends a disaster down on them, unless they're either too badly broken or insane to care. But these ponies were neither!

"Ya wanted ta know 'bout Ponyville?"Apple Pie finally asked, rousing me from my thoughts.

"Oh! Yes I did! Everything about it! Tell me!"

"... Mah best friend's name was Magica. She was a Virgacorn. She had purple stripes, yer cutie mark actually kinda reminds me of hers." I said nothing. "She'd come by, just buy a tiny cherry pebble or two, but who she really came fer was Guru Fido and the other Diamond Dogs who come by. She'd spend hours at first just talkin' to'em. She kept wantin' to learn from'em. One day Guru Fido couldn't make it. Ma suggested she help me with mah chores, told her all clever like it would be somethin' new to learn. So she did. Heh! She caught on by the end of the shift. So Ah asked her if she wanted to play. Heh, turns out she was mighty too tired for runnin' and jumpin' so we ended up playin' games inside instead.

"After that, she'd play with me after she was talkin' to Guru Fido and Ah was done with mah shift. Guru Fido then told'er she needed to learn from other Virgacorns, not a Diamond Dog she wanted ta learn. She wanted ta learn MAGIC. Yeah, da Forbidden Fruit, er, not my Great Auntie, she wanted to learn it though LMCBB Discord didn't want ponies learin' none of it."

"Doesn't stop the Hippogriffs from trying to impose order on the weather."

"Yep! So there she was! Doin' somethin' crazy as wantin' ta learn magic! An' the one kind of crazy LMCBB Discord doesn't like!"

I wasn't surprised at her openness, ponies had woken up from the fantasy of Discord REWARDING those who betrayed their friends and family to him or expecting leniency within two hundred years of Master's reign.

So I was surprised to learn she thought the young mages might have been revealed to Master by a member of her own family. No Master did not tell me how he learned, it didn't matter, he commanded and I obeyed. All I knew was that we hadn't a 'snitch' in over seven hundred years.

We had occasional defectors, spies, and mad ponies in love with Fluttercruel, but not anyone who clung to the delusion that betraying a secret of someone they cared for would grant them anything from Discord except his attention, and only the ponies who were already mad or reckless sought that out. True, Ponyville was FILLED with mad or reckless ponies, but it was Master's most base policy to ALWAYS let ponies know WHO had betrayed them WHEN they had been betrayed. Preferably not only them but the entire town on a gigantic TV screen...For some reason he enjoyed having Traitor Dash watch it when he did that.

Sorry, that's ahead of the narrative.

"So Guru Fido introduced us to some Virgacorns who were lookin' for students. Our tutor's name was Abstract Symbolism. Ah also finally got to meet Magica's other friends, Puella and Caster. They were siblings. Puella and Caster's family it turned out was lookin' fer someplace ta live and we...always have spare beds so we offered. Their parents' just moved out, they said there too many painful memories."

"Why do you stay?" It wasn't like Master didn't know where they were or had no interest in them.

"Memories stay with ya no matter where you go. Runnin' solves nothin'. And Mah families needs me, Ah can't just run away. Puella and Caster were a riot, butting all the time, but the moment there was somethin' that needed doin', you think they were one pony. It's dang plain amazing. Virgacorns, their magic ain't the same, Ah mean, the way magic works fer one ain't how it works fer another, Ah mean, they still follow the same rules but it's like us Earth Ponies, everyone's magic is special."

"Yes. They are."

"Puella's magic could fix or make things, Caster's magic could break or unmake things, it was amazin'."

"What about Magica?"

"She was super-amazin'! She could look at any spell and learn it super fast! Our tutor never saw anything like it!"

"You keep saying 'your tutor' so a Virgacorn was teaching you Earth Pony magic?"

"It ain't impossible, Ah sured learned a lot more from Symbolism than Ah did from Mah parents, but ya can't tell'em that though!"

"You have my word."

"Pinkamena Swear?"

"Hm?"

"'Cross yer heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in mah eye.'"

I repeated the gestures and words, that sense of nostalgia again. But I was no closer to my answers.

"That's been in mah family since like forever."

"I'll take your word for it. So, what was it like around them?"

"... Around Magica it was like everything could suddenly make sense, no matter how crazy things got, no matter what Conductor Boss Discord threw at us, she could make sense of it, and it felt, just good to know some pony could make sense of it."

"Order out of chaos..." Just like the stars.

"Yeah, somethin' like that. Fer Caster and Puella, it was crazy, but in a good way. No matter what they disagreed on, they always came through, no matter how much they argued, they always arrived at a solution. Puella liked things pretty, Caster liked things rough. And when somepony ELSE came down on one of them, they were always there to stand up for each other. They should have been enemies with how they acted. But... it was like they were missin' parts of each other and their siblin' filled in. Crazy but, a fun crazy. The one thing they always agreed on was how much they loved each other and how much they loved their parents. Ah, Ah had to tell'em what happened."

I didn't ask about Magica's parents. I found myself thinking about Caster and Puella...something seemed...beautiful about how she described them. No. I have to get my question answered.

"And Poison Apple... she knew a whole dang full lot 'bout alchemy. Whenever she wasn't doin' chores she'd be readin'. Ah think Ah might been her only real 'friend.' She'd do crazy things to get'em, the library in Ponyville, ponies who held onta really old books that were fallin' apart. She wanted to know."

"Where are her books now?" I asked before I could control my tongue.

"Uncle Crab Apple wanted to burn 'em, so we could have at least a funeral pyre... Ah got dad to bury'em. Didn't feel right to see'em just, gone."

"Where are they buried?"

"Just under the house. Ya curious?"

"Not about that." What were the right questions? "What makes you laugh?"

"Eh?"

"Can you tell me, what makes you laugh?"

"Why ya wanna know that?"

Think of a good lie, think of a good lie, think of a good lie! "I just want to know. You can tell a lot from a pony from what makes them laugh." Angry Pie would beat me to a pulp if she heard me say that.

"Ah! Okay!... Ah guess Ah find contra-contrawick, control-tic, er, things that make sense on their own, but when ya put'em next to each other, that suddenly don't sense though they made sense before. Those make me laugh."

"Contradictions."

"Yeah! That's it! And things like ironing boards are funny too."

"You mean irony."

"OH yeah, heh... you kinda sound like Magica. Heh-heh."

"Why are you laughing now?"

Her mouth was smiling, but her eyes were sad. Not logical.

(Music for this part: silhouette mirage ending credit roll - sega saturn I think the Jpop song is called: "Though I cry I'm happy inside.")

"Because, remembering Magica is gone is sad. But you remind me of all the fun I had with her, and those memories are happy. It's all so contrary! And how can I not laugh?"

"She really was your friend wasn't she?" Why was I asking so many tangents? Counter-productive.

"Yep! She was... " How can a pony be smiling happily and have misty eyes at the same time? "And she's gone and... and she can still make me laugh and cry! It's like our friendship is magic."

I respond without thinking. "No. Magic is tragedy. No matter how perfect or beautiful something it is, it can all come crashing down."

She giggled again. "And there's another contradiction. What we both said makes sense, but when said together they can't make sense! Yer funny!"

We both make sense? But...it's a contradiction, it's not supposed to make sense at all...

"I'm not trying to be."

"A lot like Caster... he'd try to be funny, his jokes would all fall flat, but whenever he snarked, he was a riot. Geeze, here I go again. Ya know normally when a pony goes away ya just say yer sad, accept they're gone and move on. But... now that Ah'm tryin' it, Ah don't MIND thinkin' so much 'bout em! Ya know Puella's ma wanted her to be a florist, her pa wanted her to be an an archer, but she wanted ta be a mage, no if, ands or buts. Stubborn as an Earth Pony like they say."

"You mean stubborn as a mule, right?"

"A what?"

"Never mind."

There had been members of Apple Pie's family who had the tell tale larger ears, colored different muzzle, or different tail, but I hadn't seen an Earth family in centuries who didn't have at least one member who did show some traits of the donkey tribe. If anything, it had rendered Earth Ponies MORE tenacious and indestructible.

In a way, this rendered Liarjack and Angry Pie to be as much outdated models as... TD, Fluttercruel, Rarigreed, and myself.

"Hey, you sad too?" She asked.

"I don't get sad," I replied evenly, forgetting about staying 'in character' though I hadn't really put much effort into acting like a filly. It all just came, naturally.

"Well ya looked sad fer a tick, no, Ah think ya looked old." Had my transformation begun to revert? How? HOW-?! "Ya reminded me of the way grandpa always gets. Just starin' out far away, like ya were in some big desert." Thank Master.

"It's nothing, I've lost, I've lost stuff too," I tripped over myself, I didn't want to cover myself with answers that would be just bait for a curious child to ask questions of me instead of the other way around.

"Ya lost yer family. It ain't that somethin' ya can hide. And ya lost yer friends too."

Friends? Comforting the crying Traitor Dash and accepting a kind nuzzle from Liarjack. Talking with Spike. But tragedy didn't have friends... or did it? "No. I still have some friends."

"What are their names?"

"I came here to ask you questions remember?" I tried to steer things back on course. I wish I had brought something to write with. A donkey doll with her own matching note book and quill flickered in my mind. Why did, she, it, feel so important? Wandering filly brain. "So things that clash with each other make you laugh?"

"Not really 'clash', they're things that shouldn't fit together but do Ah think is a better way ta put it, Ah haven't really -thought- about what makes me laugh. Do ya?"

"No. Not really."

"See? But there is this one verse that's mighty funny I think. The weird thing is that every copy I've found doesn't say who wrote it."

I invited, "What is the poem?"

Apple Pie made a small cough and jumped on top of the bunk beds.

"Did you hear the lie that's completely true?
Two brothers, only-childs both:
At noon on the stroke of midnight they stood back to back and faced each other.
They drew their swords and shot each other.
The paralyzed stallion clapped.
The deaf mare heard it all.
The blind mare saw it all.
The numb pony felt it all.
And the mute pony will speak witness if you don't believe."

Apple Pie fell on her back giggling.

I looked at her, and listened. And spoke calmingly, "I do not see the contradictions:
The brothers could have been adopted.
When it is ever noon one place, it is midnight in another.
They could have turned their heads to see each other while sitting being back to back.
Ponies have experimented with swords that double as projectile weapons.
The stallion might have been a unicorn using magic to move his body.
Maybe the ponies who were missing their senses lost them after the brother shot each other.
And there was an entire story based around the idea of a supposedly mute pony who revealed to be perfectly able to speak when he needed to give vital testimony at a trial."

"Heh... you sound just like Magica again. She'd say the same thing. There are no contradictions, only reasons that haven't been discovered yet. 'All truths together would hold neither contradictions nor chaos' she'd keep yacking like a school ma'am. Blech. Dang I miss it."

"You say you miss it, but you sound like you didn't care for it. Another contradiction."

"Heheh, yeah. Come on now, don't you at least think it's a little funny how two conflictin' thing can be in the same thing? Is there any RULE that says a tear and a good laugh can't come from the same pony?"

"... No, there is not.... But how can your family endure this? Living so close to Ponyville? And still continuing tradition? All of you, in spite of everything you've lost, of everything you continue to lose right next to everything you gain. Like a cup spilling over as water is poured into it. And yet I see so many of your family smiling. You just lost your friends, doesn't that bother you at all?"

It was illogical. The magic of tragedy crushed, it destroyed but... but this family they...they went against model. No matter what happened, what tragedies they faced...they just plowed through and kept going with smiles on their faces. It...it made no sense,so why did I think this contradicted Master?

"Ma had a sayin' before Conductor Boss Discord made 'er a house sized flyin', fire breathin' lizard. 'Be thankful fer the lemons,' she'd say." She looked sad again and STILL SMILED! And I had seen ponies forced to smile under Master's magic before, but this, this was nothing like that! "When life gives ya lemons, don't throw 'em back, and don't try to burn life's house down with a combustible lemon. Ya'll be left with nothin' except yer pride, which ya can't eat. Or ya'll be hated by everypony who actually LIKES lemons. And ya'll only get squashed by the skyscraper sized angry mommy-lemon as it falls on ya anyway."

A sound escapes my mouth, I feel the light again like I did before. What was that?

"Heh! So yer a filly after all! For a tic' Ah thought ya might be a stallion Big Boss Discord made a filly, Pa's met three of those."

"I am not, nor have ever been a stallion." I said matter-of-fact.

"Ah know, Ah know, Ah was only jokin'! Mah point is what point is there in stoppin' just because things are bad? That's quitter attitude and it don't solve nothin'. No way, we ain't quitters. When life gives us lemons, we take 'em, thank life kindly, and keep right on goin'."

Why did I feel like I was just locked in a room with Angry Pie for five minutes?

"Hey! Wanna see somethin' funny?"

I nodded for the distraction.

Apple Pie reached under her bed and pulled a tiny cage. Inside was a hamster on a, well, a hamster wheel, running in place.

"Meet Groundhog, and yeah Ah know he's a hamster, but Ah didn't know that when Ah caught 'em munching on pebbles.... Just look at 'em. Always runnin' in his wheel, the more he runs the more he doesn't get nowhere. The only way for 'em to get anywhere is... " She took a tiny pebble and tossed it precisely and carefully into the wheel, Groundhog stopped, and looked around confused, and went off to a stone block to naw his teeth and to feed himself from his tray. "Is ta introduce somethin' new ta the loop. But Groundhog can't do it himself, or he just keeps goin' and goin' and goin' in circles. He's weird that way. But Ah think it's also kinda funny."

I didn't quite get the joke. But I would admit it was somewhat interesting.

What happened next? Nothing of any true significant what so ever. I merely yawned. Apple Pie invited me to spend the 'evening' and we play a few board games (I am proud to declare I won most of them, and Apple Pie was an amazingly good sport about it... not that games matter of course!). She told me the ghost story of the headless horse, which I am sure I had heard somewhere before, (maybe it was one of the spirits Applebloom had helped pass on, there were so many. Yes ghosts and zombies exists, why is that strange for me to say?).

I wasn't able to tell much about myself of course, and I couldn't do any of the magic I really knew because I was in the form of an Earth Pony, but I was able to tell her a couple adventure stories, though I can't remember where I read them.

Like I said, nothing of any true significance at all.

After, I thought to ask the question I should have at the beginning, the key to all my questions. "I heard you laughed at Discord's joke. Why?"

"Because Ah thought it was funny."

What? "That's it?"

"Yep."

"In spite of the violence the elements of chaos must have brought on Ponyville?"

"Yeah they did but... Ah've learned, that laughter is a precious gift 'round here. Ya need ta take it when ya can. Weather a joke is black, white, or plaid, ya need to accept it fer what it is. Besides, it's not like he was laughing at me... "

"B-But he was joking about the loss you had just suffered. SO I HEARD!"

"Yeah he was. But... heh, there ya go, contradictions again."

"Maybe you laugh just to cover the pain?" I asked calmly and logically.

She smiled and waved me off. "Naw, Ah laugh to get rid of the pain, not pretend it isn't there. Big diff'. And besides, everythin' was crazy, losin' so many friends then and there, and Boss Discord bein' all kooky 'bout it? Kinda crazy ain't it? And why not laugh at all the crazy?"

"That's what Ma-Mister Discord always says." That was too close a slip. I was more tired than I thought. This place, her... "I-I have to go."

"What? Where are ya goin'?"

"Home."

"Where's that?"

"Private."

"Why?"

"I d-don't want you to know."

"Why?"

"Because... I don't... I don't want you... to be upset." W-Why did it feel like I meant that?!

"Ah don't get it."

"T-thank you for the time Apple Pie, and thank you for speaking with me, it was, it was, it was a p-leasure!" I nodded my head twice and ran using that Earth Pony body for all it was worth. What had I been feeling?! How could I be feeling?!

I ran like fifty Fluttercruels were after me. Out of that house. Out of that rock farm. Away from the oddly familiar pictures and ponies and strange feelings. I didn't even think to change back.

I knocked a random pony over as I ran, I looked back, wondering who they were. But I had to keep running!

This was supposed to make the curiosity go away! Why is it making it worse?!

I ran, I ran, keep running! Run away! Back. Home. Home! Why do I feel like running to the library?! No! Th-That's not my home! THAT'S NOT ME!!!

Back to Master!

Where I belong!

With Master, nothing needs to make sense! With Master I don't have to feel!

I gallop back to the castle in a blur, back, back get back!

I see Ditzy/Derpy! I don't see the black birds. Must be regenerating. She's started a new lap, she's a filly again, too little for a Cutie Mark.

I skid to a halt in front of her. She climbs over me and keeps going. I trot alongside her unbidden, like my body is on autopilot. I feel my mouth open.
-
Hey little filly! You have questions? Well. My name is Derpy Hooves! Or Ditzy Doo, I remember being called both. I never thought much about fate, if it exists, I still need to make my best choices, and if it doesn't exist, I still need to make my best choices, no matter what I'm going to. I'm scared I'll lose Dinky before I finish. What I want more than anything is for all my family to be back together. I love my muffins more than anything. What makes me happy is muffins, I mean muffins like the kind you bake, and bubbles, bubbles are so pretty. What matters most are those you love. But what about you? This is funny, I've met two purple ponies now and- hey! HEY! WHERE ARE YOU GOING? Don't go into the bad castle! It's bad!
-
Homehomehomehome!

Knock over one of the dirt maids! She giggles at being more dirty herself now. Laughing. Like Apple Pie. Did Poison Apple laugh like her too?

THE DEAD DON'T MATTER! The dead want nothing. The dead are nothing. The dead have nothing. The dead are nonexistent. They are non-factors. They have no influence. Once you're dead you're dust! Nothing else! You might as well have never existed! Yes yes yes! That's it!

OW!

I've run into... that grave. It's not Angry Pie's adopted children.

It's that unicorn's grave. Stupid ever changing palace! Stupid ever changing paths! Stupid ever shifting rooms! This whole castle is a creature of chaos itself!

The sun comes up over the grave of the elderly blue unicorn. She was so old. I don't remember how long it had been since everything began when I saw her. She was just so old. How could any pony live with a body as ancient as that?

I hear Guru Fido's prayer ring in my head again, but my mind keeps trying to put a name I can't remember in Magica's place, why?!

The dead don't matter! Only Master's will and well-being matter!

There's no name on her gravestone. But I recognize it all the same. While it shifted around, the tiny plot of grass it's on does not change shape. A contradiction. The kind Apple Pie would laugh at.

Apple Pie, so many siblings, so many brothers and sisters, cousins, and whatever. I wonder what it's like to have a brother. ?! What does that matter?! Agh!

The questions! The Feelings! They won't stop! They keep coming! Go away! Master make them stop! LEAVE ME ALONE!

I RUN AWAY! Have to get away from it! It's wrong! It's unnatural!

Room! Room! Room! Find room! Found room! Found . .. room...

I'm too tired to bother changing shape back to my real self. I'm too tired to get into bed. I'll just... the potted plants. I'll just lay here, next to them, such soft leaves, so comforting, so welcoming. Can Earth Ponies talk to plants and know what they're feeling? I remember a tree being treated like royalty by... somepony. No, that's just silly, a silly pony. Soft potted plants...

Episode 74: (???) Party At Canterlot Castle

Twilight Sparkle sat in the Canterlot west castle courtyard. She really wished she had a nice book with her. She was pretty sure she would have been able to read it in spite of all the partying ponies, music, and noise-makers around.

''Little get together,' yeah right.' Twilight thought to herself sarcastically.

Who was here again? Too bad ponies weren't as easy to memorize as indexes.

There was Spike with Moondancer, er, dancing. Right, Spike's crush before... somepony. She had always just smiled and nodded when Spike acted nice around her while politely pushing him back. They looked the odd dance couple with a towering dragon as she she held onto his little pinky. Pinkie? The party had some pink, but not a whole lot.

Moondancer herself had a white coat, a red mane, and a moon cutie mark surrounded by stars. The teddy bear Spike had given her as her birthday present lay on a table nearby with gifts from others. It actually made Twilight a little self conscious that she hadn't brought a gift herself. Just something to add to Moondancer's plush collection would have been enough.

Moondancer and Twilight had both according to the gossip mill been on a 'secret list' of Princess Celestia's for powerful unicorns for a secret project. Twilight knew better than to believe rumors. Contrary to popular belief, many turned out to be recycled lies or exaggerations grown larger with each telling. It took forever for Twilight to convince her fellow students that she wasn't a goth and dark purple and violet were her natural colors.

Twinkleshine and Minuette and Lemon Heart looked at each other triumphantly at getting the shut-in to finally slightly socialize. However, Minuette trotted over and asked.

"Heeey, Twilight, come on, try dancing a little."

"I will in a minute."

"That's what you said thirty minutes ago, come on!"

She took Twilight by the forehoof and dragged her to the dance floor. She awkwardly danced for all of fifteen minutes, made a note to read books on dancing and sat back down exhausted.

This time she comforted herself with a glass of punch. If only one of the Princesses was here, she wouldn't mind speaking to Celestia, Luna, or, or Cadence. She knew they all had a lot to do with the thousandth Summer Sun Festival coming but up still...

Speaking of which, Twilight wondered why of all places Celestia would choose an obscure tiny town within pegasus flight distance from the capital to hold such a significant festival. Next thing you knew Princess Luna was going to be holding her Nine Hundred and Ninety-Ninth Winter Moon Festival in Stalliongrad.

Twilight felt another pony sit down next to her. Twilight turned her head and gasped at the incredibly old unicorn mare next to her.

Showing amazing strength to just lift her head, the old crone glanced at her while keeping her gaze mostly fixed on the party before them.

"Why is it you seem to never want to attend these parties?"

Blunt, but Twilight wasn't a social master herself. "Because they're a waste of time. Such silliness is not worth the effort it expends."

"You can't be sure, maybe they'll open up your eyes, it could be a wonderful surprise," said the pale blue mare, eyes still not leaving the party.

"I only have one lifetime to learn as much as I can, I don't have the time to waste on something that has nothing to do with anything."

"Hey! It's not nothing!" The two ponies looked up to a donkey jenny wearing white and blue polka dot pants. Twilight noted her eyes were Heterochromian. "Sure, I always get my homework done but I'd love to have lots of friends."

"Hello, Smarty Pants." Twilight greeted her childhood friend who took a seat on the other side of her.

"Hello Twilight! I wonder what it would be like to be popular, having tons and tons of friends."

"And having crowds fight over each other to steal a piece of your mane?" Twilight was surprised when the crone asked, still not turning her head from its original position in spite of the new arrival.

"Erm, maybe just one dependable honest stallion would be enough."

Twilight resisted rolling her eyes, knowing how some ponies had a pathological reaction to that sort of thing.

"Look at them," Twilight said staring at the crowd of ponies. "Living their short little lives. Flirting it all away like they're going to live forever when they know they won't. But they pretend they do."

"Having one short life is all the more reason to live it to make sure you're living it right though," replied Smarty Pants.

"That's exactly the point. They like to think their prefect little world works perfectly, that there are no true, giant, meaningful problems that'll affect them all, none of them wanting to see the chaos. "

Lemon Heart broke into a coughing fit and fell to her knees, everypony looked at her, her body was ravaged by spasms. She began to bleed through her nose.

The music stopped, Moondancer tried to use what limited medical magic she knew as others called for the paramedics.

Ponies stopped chatting happily, nopony was dancing anymore.

"Take a good look, all it takes is just one thing, one unforeseen catastrophe. And everything falls apart."

"They're rushing to help a friend, aren't they? Doesn't that prove there's more to them than just congo lines of celebrations?" The crone asked, finally turning more attention towards Twilight Sparkle.

"Only because the disaster's right in front of them. Deep down, somewhere, all ponies still herd creatures willing to abandon one of their own to die if things get too risky."

"If that's the case, then aren't they proving they're better than their nature, though?" Smarty Pants asked, "Like Spike? He's a dragon. But he's so nice and polite and a perfect assistant who never complains. Who does everything he's asked and can always be depended on without fail."

"He's not so 'perfect' as that," Twilight whispered.

"Maybe, but it's how you see him in your heart, right?" Smarty Pants replied.

Twilight let out a small dark laugh, "Yeah. It is. Which only goes to show nopony is actually friends with anypony."

"What?" The crone asked.

"Nopony can truly in their hearts know anypony. The closest we can ever come to is emulations of them in our minds!" Twilight's voice rose in a hurtful, almost hateful tone, "The person that you're friends with isn't the real them! Every friendship is no different from an imaginary friend!"

"But-"

"Friendship is nothing a glorified game of pretend! And games of pretend should be left for foals! Such games have no place in the world of adults!"

The crone merely shook her head solemnly.

Lemon Heart had stopped breathing. Minuette tried CPR on her. Minuette coughed and brought her hooves up. She gasped in fear when she saw blood on them. Ponies panicked and ran through different doors only to arrive through different ones.

"And there you have it! Once things go out of control, the stampede instinct kicks right in!"

"That's not true!"

"Are you really that blind-?!"

"THEY'RE trying!"

Twinkleshine and Moondancer stayed with Minuette as her coughing got worse. They asked Spike to fly her straight to the hospital since none of them knew how to teleport.

"Poor Twinkleshine and Moondancer. Perhaps if they'd spent more of their spare time... I don't know... practicing life-saving techniques, instead of frivolous socializing, they might've been actually been able to save Lemon Heart and Minuette's life themselves, instead of passing the buck onto somepony else."

"Would they have even been AROUND to call for help, if they never took the time to befriend Minuette?" Asked the crone. Twilight glanced at the mare's cutie mark, a magic wand.

"In the end what does it even matter? They say friends are ponies you know at heart, but no pony can really know anypony, because everypony keeps something hidden away, locked inside, they never show their real self to anyone. Friends don't exist. They just like to pretend they do."

"And yet, Moondancer and Twinkleshine don't care about the hidden things, they're still here for their friend Minuette."

"Because if they weren't, they'd have to face up to the ugly truth: we're all just selfish animals at heart."

Smarty Pants answered back nearly in tears, "THERE IS MORE! People LOVE each other for a REASON! It's not just about preserving their DNA! It's about sharing their ideas and points of view so everypony can understand everypony and everything in reality just a little bit better!"

"Ponies cherry-pick reality. They accept truths they want to be real, and reject those they don't. No matter how smart, no matter how wise, no matter how experienced a pony can claim to be, they all just bury their heads in the sand rather than acknowledge an ugly fact."

"But, isn't generalizing them like that just burying your head in the sand also?"

"Fire burns. Ice is cold. Are these generalizations? They're just reality."

"Ponies' thoughts are more complex than a campfire or an ice cube!"

"Complex? Psh. All thoughts are just chemical reactions in the brain. Don't make it sound like those little sparks of electricity actually have value. There are batteries that hold a better electric charge."

"!!!... If that's all there is to it... then how are we aware of us talking right now? How are you aware that you're aware? How can you even question that you're aware? Instead of your body just going through the motions-?! Ponies, PEOPLE, aren't robots! I'm not a robot! And we're not JUST animals!"

"Is that so?" Twilight grinned almost sickly, "Let's talk about YOUR best friends, shall we? Or can we even call them that anymore?"

"What?" Smarty Pants got up and took a step back. The crone looked away sadly.

Twilight Sparkle stood up.

"You defend them. But you don't actually care about them. It just makes you feel bigger to pretend you do. You act like they mean something to you. But in the end they're just a means to make yourself feel good. Like a drug."

"I DO care about them! I do!" Smarty Pants protested. "I've fought for them! I've risked my life for them! I've sacrificed for them!"

Sparkle moved in closer like a predator would their prey. "And as soon as it hurt to feel, as soon you couldn't find a fat enough excuse to hide behind, you abandoned them, you got in line like a good little tinker toy! The moment you lost hope and ran from your own heart and memories you PROVED how much they all REALLY meant to you!"

Sparkle grasped Smarty Pants with her forehooves and began to magically grip on her face, slowly applying pressure.

"You think you have conscience? YOU?! You're only feeling nostalgic!"

Sparkle tore off Smarty Pants' face, it gave way like simple cloth. A fearful gray-toned unicorn mare with red eyes shivered underneath.

Sparkle took Tragedy by the neck shoved her face forward at the other end of the courtyard.

LJ lying through her teeth to Rarigreed. The airborne Fluttercruel taunting the ground bound Angry Pie. Traitor Dash huddling in a corner curled in a ball. And so many piles of pony skulls around all of them.

"All of six of you disgust me to my core," Sparkle said slamming Tragedy into the floor, leaving one nostril bleeding, it didn't regenerate. "You don't deserve a crumb of empathy or sympathy for what you've permitted them, and yourself to become! Nothing's left in my heart for you but my blackest revulsion!"

"Sympathy can be misplaced and abused by monsters. But empathy is meant to be given to even the worst monsters." The old crone whispered not getting up. "We ponies are simply limited in our power to give it."

Tragedy looked at the old crone in awe while Sparkle snorted and slammed Tragedy in the floor again completely ignoring what the crone had said in her lecture, "And THAT isn't even the worst part! Oh no. It's the idea of existence itself having to endure ALL SIX of you insufferable cretins forever more! An everlasting and inescapably inseparable gang of the most reprehensible villains ever! Loveless and unloveable! And to top it all off: all of the REAL heroes have all been burned away... BY US!"

Tragedy shuddered.

Sparkle brought a mirror to Tragedy's face, "TAKE A GOOD LONG LOOK!"

"Twilight! Don't you recognize me?! Please stop!"

"No! Stay back!"
"I hope your burn in Tartarus you murderer!"
"This isn't you! Please fight it!"
"I-I can't fight her. She's still-Agh!"

"All... hail... Discord."

Tragedy's vision blurred. She was... crying?

"Just look at yourself! You're not a person! You're not even alive! You're just hideous!

"The only redemption left for you and all your partners-in-crime lies in your annihilation so you can no longer extend Discord's evil! And the only salvation for this entire world is obliteration! I don't say this out of hatred or apathy, but purely of mercy.

"After all, considering how the six of you have systematically butchered every hero and do-gooder from Queen Cadence on down to Scootaloo throughout the centuries... what's left but the insane, the corrupted, the transformed, the joyless, oppressed, tormented masses who have no hope anyway? No one's ever coming to save them. Theirs is truly a situation where the dead mourn the living."

The old crone snorted, actually sounding insulted by Sparkle's last few words.

"The only deliverance the world can have is if it never existed at all!" Sparkle snapped. "THIS WORLD IS DEAD!"

"I... I'm sorry."

"You're WHAT?" Sparkle snapped at her. "You really think a good life before this mess started and a few scattered good good deeds and there make up for a thousand years of being a murder machine? You think apologizing now make a sliver of difference? Don't babble nonsense!" She leaned in closer and began to whisper in her ears, her tone suddenly much softer, "But, it doesn't have to stay like this. There's another way out. Find a way to wipe this world off the face of the universe. You're a smart girl, you'll come up with something if you put your mind to it long enough! You owe it to every soul suffering this hellish existence. Pull the plug on this forsaken world so that Discord can NEVER TOUCH ANY OF US EVER AGAIN... and clear the way for worthier worlds. Commit the one good deed that could ever possibly be committed in this worthless black reality you've helped make with your own hooves."

"Even the darkest of times, ya gotta find somethin' to laugh about."

"Peace and mercy to all that lives."

"For Queen Cadence!"

"Listen to our song."

"Dragons stand united as one!"

"I'm the rebel leader!" "No I am!" "IT WAS ME!"

"Not worthless. Not hopeless." Tragedy gasped out. "This world... isn't dead."

The old crone lifted her head slightly.

"You coward! It's been a thousand years, and you haven't changed a damn bit! And mark my words... you'll STILL be executing Discord's every command with the same dull resignation, the same robotic obedience, two thousand years later! This world needs to be put out of its misery!"

"... You're the coward who wants to give up."

Sparkle snarled and her hoof slammed down on Tragedy head.

But froze inches from her face. The entire world, simply stopped in place.

The world darkened, except for two spot lights above the two near-identical unicorns.

A third spotlight clicked on, showing a gently gray-tinted purple unicorn mare with a cutie mark showing a magenta star and five sparkles.

Twilight opened her eyes and looked at them like she would a mirror; at the fully gray Tragedy and bright purple Sparkle, her heart aching, her body feeling so heavy, her horn lifeless.

The two other purple unicorns both slowly faded away as their spotlights dimmed to nothing.

"What's the point of even trying?" Twilight asked herself.

Her spotlight began to slowly shrink. Let this be the end of it.

"Don't destroy yourself."

The spot light stopped getting smaller.

"But... but why?" Twilight looked around asking like a child would with a question they barely understood.

The elderly blue unicorn trotted next to Twilight and sat down next to her.

Twilight's own spot light faded, but not her with it as had happened with the other two, and the darkness lightened to show the western castle courtyard again, empty save for the old unicorn and her. It was midnight now with a moon high in the sky with no sign of Nightmare Moon's seal. The rest of time stood still, the wind didn't blow, the crickets didn't chirp, even the moon's light seemed dim. The world seemed lost in cold fog.

"You're finally ready to listen?"

Twilight nodded slowly.

"Firstly, don't give up yet. You're always making things more bleak than they really are Twilight. Second, the world still has beauty in it, it still has goodness in it, it still has heroes and hope .

"Third, stop torturing yourself, it helps no one!"

Twilight shuddered a little.

"Four, you still have those who love you, as long as you have those, never throw yourself away. But that is only half the equation! You also have a responsibility to yourself! Those who cared for you put a lot of effort into you, so don't you dare betray the ones who put their own hearts into you. Do you understand?"

Twilight slowly nodded twice. The wind blew lightly, calmly.

"Good. Also Twilight. Remember. Remember all those times:

A egocentric, smug, anti-social mare who in the span of one day realized that friendship with other ponies wasn't such a waste after all. And CHANGED.

A farmer who swallowed her pride and allowed her friends to help her rather than destroy herself. And CHANGED.

A lazy, sometimes flat-out selfish, flight school drop-out who chose the happiness she felt with her five new friends was better than the happiness she felt with a friend who had fallen into sin. And CHANGED.

A unicorn was willing to give a condescending liar the chance to CHANGE!

A cowardly pegasus as fearful as a mouse who found the heart of a lion when her loved ones were threatened and CHANGED.

Two ponies who were polar opposites in what they valued, but found their symmetry, and CHANGED together!

A little filly, who learned not to let words hurt her. And she and two friends like her, all CHANGED together!

Two friends who were so much alike about loving their athletic prowess they actually clashed, they changed for the worse, but a helping of humble pie helped them CHANGED for the better!

And a unicorn, who, had her ego put in its place after nearly being eaten by a hydra, finally CHANGED her views: that magic can come from more places than a unicorn's horn.

And this special, wonderful pony continued to grow and change and learn.

AND!!!!

Remember an Alicorn, who allowed herself to be driven mad by her own petty jealously, hatred, rage, and envy. In an blind immature cry for attention, she chose to sentence the world to a slow, cold death. AND SHE CHANGED FOR THE BETTER! All thanks to YOU and your wonderful friends!"

"Spike... Luna... Celestia! Liar... NO! APPLE-jack! Pinkie Pie... Fluttershy... Rarity... Tr... RAINBOW Dash! And... me." Twilight finished in a whisper. "I do remember them. All of them.
Each of the precious memories were like fireworks in Twilight's mind and heart, blasting back the darkness encircling it. The smiles on all their faces... including her own! The warmth and goodwill flowing between them. The fun times. The simple acts of kindness. Their heroism. After so many untold generations with holes and thick fog in her memories... to recall all this, and know that it was really real, was like gazing into a better world.

The crickets began chirping, birds singing.

"How bright and wonderful we were, inside and out."

"You can all be bright and wonderful again, I assure you." The old mare said. "Inside and out."

"But... how CAN we, though?"

The old mare trotted face to face with Twilight, catching her head before it could hang any lower.

"Twilight if you still don't think that you can change, if you still don't the others can change, if you still think the WORLD can't change-" The crone's voice changed completely, it was- "-then think about us-" Queen Cadence. The pink Alicorn spread out her wings and looked lovingly at the little pony. It was a sunny and bright afternoon in the park they always went to. Twilight looked up at her in shock. "-and all the time we spent together as close as any family."

Twilight began, "Sunshine Sunshine-"

Cadence replied, "-Lady bugs awake-"

"-clap your hooves-" They did just that.

"-and do a little shake." They finished together.

Somewhere a gold tiara holding a black red gem shaped like a star turned right-side up.

Twilight pressed herself against Cadence, and it was a memory come to life. Just feeling the soft downy texture of Cadence's feathers... it made her feel young again. Loved again, as she hadn't been loved for time out of mind. She began to sob.

"It's alright Twilight, you were ill, but now you are well again. You've done wrong, but you are not beyond atoning for it... And I forgive you for it all."

Cadence gave her a long, long hug.

Twilight managed to smile. Cadence nuzzled her, Twilight nuzzled back, happy but crying, and found no contradiction or chaos. "So my little pony, is tragedy magic? Or is friendship magic?"

Twilight looked up at her old foal sitter, "Both are. Because it's our choices that make magic good or bad. Friendship can either be the greatest blessing, or a trap, depending on what friends we choose to make. Tragedy can either make us stronger or break us, it all depends if we choose to face it or hide from it."

"Very good my faithful and loyal filly. And there's something else."

"What's that?"

"Remember, no matter how helpless it gets, don't give up hope, because you're the only one who can destroy your hope. No matter what you've done, so long as you feel an ounce of remorse, you can find redemption. And no matter how alone you feel, you'll never be alone, so long as you don't forget the bonds you've made." The fog was lifted.

Twilight was startled to hear hoof stomping and clapping. Ponies were circled around her, cheering for her. Her mother and father. Lyra. Bon-Bon. Moon Dancer. Lemon Heart. Twinkleshine. Minuette. Spike. The other Elements of Harmony. Celestia. Luna. Her old math teacher. Dr. Whooves. Cheerilee. Zecora. The Cutie Mark Crusaders. The entire Apple family. Mayor Mare. Daring-Do. The Cakes and The Pies. Derpy and Dinky. P0N-3. Berry Punch and Ruby Pinch. Their old pets. And so so so many more!
She had never felt so light, so, so...

"I'm free."

+++

I heard soft tweeting outside the castle. My room now with a window. When was the last time I heard birds sing? I was covered in soft leaves. Huh? I sat up and looked at myself. I was my unicorn self again. But I don't remember changing form...

I looked at the rest of my room, and thought for a moment I was outside.

Earth Pony magic directs and encourages or discourages the flow of life. The two potted plants now covered every inch of my barren lifeless quarters like a jungle.

They had done more than grown. They had joined together.

I got on my four hooves. As I moved, the vines and branches actually PARTED for me. I felt like someone I loved was releasing a long hug.

The plants had intertwined with each other everywhere, like lovers. Flowers of every color and nature bloomed even as I watched the vines and branches mingled with each other in something not unlike ecstasy. My floor was covered in dirt now, and my ceiling was broken away to the sky above. The two plants were so thick along the walls I almost wondered if they had replaced them.

Their vines had blocked the door in every conceivable fashion, but now began to unwind from it.

I slowly looked around in every direction. There were spots where I couldn't even tell where one plant ended and the other began. But it felt so... so right. The way their growths rushed into each other, it was like a loving couple making up for lost time.

And their leaves on me, their vines surrounding me...it felt like parents hugging their child who had finally come home.

It was... beautiful. So beautiful.

I blinked away tears. "Thank you... both you, for everything, thank you a thousand years over thank you. For everything. I promise to never forget you or neglect you. I promise you'll always be a part of me. And I promise, this world will be one you'll be happy to live in.

I leave behind Tragedy, Master's tool, I leave behind Sparkle, Discord's
toy, I am simply Twilight The Unicorn. I am me. I have magic to do and tragedies to face. I'm done hiding in the cage I've made for myself and those around me...I'm finally free. And I have some friends to make."

Pony POV Series
Dark World Part Six
By Alex Warlorn
Daybreak

Episode 75: (Shining Armor) gniteeM tsriF

Pony POV Series Shining Armor Part 2
gniteeM tsriF-First Meeting
By LZ0291 (with Revisions by Alex Walorn, Kendell2, and producers of the Pony POV Audio Adaption)

I'd waved goodbye to my sister, thinking that I wouldn't see her again for at least two years so I had to make sure I waved her off to her much shorter assignment. Thunderchild had been waiting down there to inform me that the two member crew on the chariot had already been asked to keep a watchful eye on Twilight, and that they were both trustworthy, if a little headstrong and prone to obeying daft orders.

Such as "Seize her!" when "her" is a spite-maddened moon goddess threatening eternal night. In their defense, I was not there in person, so they had to obey the Mayor of Ponyville, who evidently has no experience in military tactics. If she had, she'd know the correct order in that situation is very simple:

"Fall back and regroup!"

She (or he) who fights and runs away lives to fight another day, and more importantly, so do the ponies under her or his command. We're not Zebrafrican warlords, an equine wave attack is not the first and only option. OW!

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): Don't you talk that way about Zecora's people.)

I specifically said Zebrafrican Warlords not zebras, get it right! I'm good friends with zebras in my company!

Anyway, Twilight was in good hooves, and I had a ceremony to attend. The time rolled around, half an hour to noon, and in the parade grounds I stood in rank along with my other officers. There were ten of us in all. A major, two captains including myself, three new lieutenants, and then five nervous looking cadets being made up into proper officers.

The parade grounds held four stands. On three, benches for the soldiers today, or for the audience at Trooping the Color. On one, the VIP stands, including the Royal Box. Lying before the VIP stands, a podium. A tunnel behind it would be where Princess Celestia would emerge from: The royal box was presently occupied not by the white Sun Alicorn, but by Princess Cadence. Oh, and various other nobles but sod them all, Cadence is best pony.

Er, I mean... Before each of us, sat a neat pile of armor. Mine shone a bright purple, something I was thankful applied only to ceremonial armor. If we ever went into a real war (Celestia, Luna AND Cadence forbid!) I would instead wear dark green colored armor, bearing my rank insignia and the M7 emblem that I was entitled to wear as a level seven magic user.

It's fortunate Twilight isn't a guard, by the way. There's no such thing as an M11 level, it normally stops at ten. Okay, that's exaggeration, but not by much! I DID NOT MAKE THAT ENTIRE SYSTEM UP!

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): Yeah, okay, just let me put away my twenty-sided dice then.)

(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn): It does seem rather strange for a unicorn who is the 'only one' able to cast a capital city wide forcefield and maintain it for an extended period is not at the maximum of the mundane system.)

I don't do the rankings, and I don't assess them either! It assesses overall magic ability, not that you can perform one spell with great strength. Hay, they used to dock points if the spell was a special talent! Anyway, also with the armor, a belt and scabbard. to hold a blade. In this case, each of us had our personal ceremonial swords alongside our armor. We had to put them on too.

As I later found out, Cadence had a taste for purple when she was asked what color to make her Guard's armor.

It was nearing ten to noon. We were expected to don our armor in five minutes at the shout given by a senior NCO, and salute Princess Celestia with our arms at noon when she emerged.

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): Your ARMS?)

...Our weapons. None of us were minotaurs. In fact we were mostly pegasi and earth ponies. In the interests of inter-racial (and on occasion, species) unity, the ceremony called for us to not use our horns or our wings. We would put our armor on with snouts and hooves, and grasp our swords by the hilt with our mouths to hold them upwards to the sun.

Major Sharpe was the only other unicorn present. He seemed to be using his experience to busy himself giving encouragement to the nervous cadets, and the rest of us were all focused on ourselves for the moment.

A staff sergeant called Bourne trotted out, examined the clock as the hands swung from fifty-four slowly to fifty-five.

"Officers.... On my mark, one steeeeeeep....."

We tensed and readied to move.

"..... Forward!"

Forty hooves clattered off the parade ground surface as we obeyed.

"Officers.... On my mark, don.... armor!"

And so it began. It was a fiddly task not to use my horn even instinctively, but I had practiced this. If anything it was easier for the earth pony candidates, as this was the only way they could don armor themselves.

But this was about as close to balanced it could get. Unicorn horns would make it too easy, and for the pegasi, you'd be surprised at any number of tricks they might be able to pull off with their wings.

Still, I wish they'd try and make the buckles at least taste a bit nicer. No wonder we would hold a toast from our canteens right after, to wash the damn metallic taste from our tongues!

We all made it in plenty of time, even one cadet that had began to panic. Major Sharpe, as well as Lieute... Captain Coke, had stepped in and whispered calming advice. The cadets nearest me had apparently been a little more relaxed, or I was too busy distracted by my own attempts to put the armor on to notice if they were having issues.

Noon neared.

"Officers, draw... swords!"

Ten blades slid from scabbards. The clock hand swung towards the hour, and Princess Celestia began to walk towards the podium. She reached it just before the clocks began to chime, and just as Bourne shouted the order.

"Officers, salute!"

We raised up rampant on our hind legs, holding the blades there for the whole minute. The chimes drew to a close, and instead of a shout to cease, we instead were given a softly spoken order, yet one we heard as clear as day no matter how far we stood from Her Highness as she spoke.

"At ease, my officers. Please put your blades away, and join me in a toast to your promotions."

We did so, each of us taking a drink from the canteens, and the observing soldiers and officers stamped out their applause and cheers. It was only water, but when it comes from an enchanted canteen that keeps it cool in that kind of sunlight, it was far sweeter than wine.

Besides, I'm fairly sure Princess Celestia was drinking water herself.

Five officers had risen in rank and Equestria had five new officers. But it wasn't over yet. First, the cadets, now Second Lieutenants, were all asked forward and given their orders by Her Highness. It was nothing more than a short speech, a bow, and then the officer left to join their regiment. For the promoted cadets it went like this:

"Your orders this day are as follows. You are to enter the service and Supreme Command of Her Highness, Princess Celestia Amaterasu Solaris Equestria as part of her..."

And then she'd list the regiment, for instance the Royal Caledonia Horse Guards. She would then place her horn on the promoted cadet's head and infuse them with a fraction of her essence, normally turning their fur white and their eyes blue (the rule book had a rather sizeable warning about that part). . . . I don't think it affects our thinking.

After each new officer was sent off to their unit, came the full lieutenants and new captains, who generally got promoted up within their own unit. I was to be last of the two captains. And I was an exception today.

"Captain Shining Armor Sparkle. Come forth."

I bowed before Princess Celestia for the second time in the span of three hours.

"Captain, your orders this day are as follows. You are to detach yourself from the service and Supreme Command of Her Highness, Princess Celestia Amaterasu Solaris Equestria, and attach yourself to the service and the Supreme Command of Her Highness, Princess Mi Amore Cadenza Equestria, should she so accept this detachment I offer," She said, and the silence that followed as interrupted only by a squeaking noise from the VIP stand.

A quick glance at the wide-eyed occupant of the Royal Box confirmed what I had been thinking: This was the part where Cadence had been 'formally informed' I was being attached to her command.

"Princess Cadenza, does the offered detachment meet your satisfaction?"

All eyes, except mine, looked at Cadence. I was personally trying to have a staring contest with a spot on the wall just to the left of Princess Celestia.

"I... er... I... What?! Aunt Celly, I mean Your Highness, you never told me it was.... You never told me this was when you'd be giving me a guard commander! I thought you'd be doing it later today!"

"Oh... My apologies, I thought I had told you..."

I could have sworn at the time I heard someone singing 'Trolololol-o-lol-OW!' cut short somewhere in the stands. Cadence seemed to be gritting her teeth a little, as if trying not to facehoof, but there was a protocol to follow.

"...The detachment is adequate, Your Highness. I accept it under the banner of my command."

Celestia nodded.

"Excellent. Please attend your new command, Captain Sparkle."

"Yes, Your Highness."

I bowed, and trotted into the tunnel behind Princess Celestia. Up the stairs, past two stone-faced but amused guards, and then to beside my new Supreme Commander just as Major Sharpe walked forward.

"...I can't believe she did that." Cadence was still muttering as I entered.

Now, I'd known Cadence ever since she'd been Twilight's foalsitter. We'd both been teenagers, and close enough to each other in age to be friends instead of just 'Twilight's brother/the foalsitter; to each other. I'd known then she was pretty, I wasn't a complete fool. But after she stopped foalsitting Twilight, contact between us was fleeting. She had her duties and I was training to be an officer of the guard.

I saw her around, but it was usually from a distance or in passing. Not a chance to meet her properly. So really, going up there and seeing her face to face properly for the first time in ages.... It felt like meeting her for the first time. And it meant that I noticed how beautiful she had truly become.

But still. Give a quick salute, take my helmet off and then hold it in the crook of my leg -you get used to awkward balancing very fast as a Royal Guard- and then speak up.

"Captain Shining Armor, reporting for duty, Your Highness."

I found myself unsure of what to say after that, but luckily for me she was supposed to speak first. And she seemed a bit tongue tied.

"...Er, Hi.. Um... hello, Captain..."

Her embarrassment at how Princess Celestia had arranged the meeting was ether throwing her off, or I was more handsome than I gave myself credit. But if anything at the time her flustered actions made me lament the fact that it would be an impossible goal for myself to ever be with her romantically, for love between a Royal Guard and a Princess is forbidden... Yet it steeled my resolve to fight to overcome this unjust law!

Just kidding, there's no law like that at all. There's not a single rule prohibiting relationships between Guards and Guards, Guards and VIPs, Guards and Royals, or Guards and Civilians. There is a warning for guard trainees to be cautious with members of flight teams other than the Wonderbolts though, as they keep trying to poach our best flyers.

"...Shining, what am I supposed to do here?!"

"Whatever you like, he's the only member of an entirely new branch of the Royal Guard. You can write the protocol book yourself if you want," Prince Blueblood suddenly spoke up. His mane still had a very slight tent, that was all.

That stallion is a bit of an oaf at times, but occasionally, very occasionally, he can be tremendously helpful. In addition to this moment of putting Cadence at ease, I'm pretty sure he's got a blood type that would be useful to somepony in need of an emergency transplant. Now if we can just get him to carry a donor card...

(I was surprised when Princess Celestia caught wind of this joke and later told her Guards, "My nephew is a foalish fool, not walking spare body parts.")

"Oh. Well, er... at ease, Captain. Please stand beside me for the remainder of the ceremony."

That didn't take long. Major Sharpe was accepting his new position of command within the regiment, leading Third Troop, Second Squadron.

"I'm so sorry about her doing that to you, Shining!" Cadence whispered to me.

"Princess, I'm sorry she did that to you." I replied. It cheered her up a little as Princess Celestia spoke again.

"My officers and soldiers, it has been my honor to promote nine fine examples of officers to new positions with the rank of my Day Guard, and to detach one fine officer to the command of Her Highness Princess Mi Amore Cadenza Equestria, in order that she may form her own branch of the Royal Guard."

"Guard Commander Sparkle will review the recent applications to join Princess Cadenza's guard and inform those selected for the task before four o'clock this afternoon. The formation of this new branch of the guard is because Her Highness Princess Mi Amore Cadenza Equestria, will undertake a diplomatic mission in the name of Equestria, a two year trip extending the hoof of friendship to the world at large. She will depart at Nine tonight, and I wish her and the ponies that go with her a safe journey. I thank you all for your time, and declare the promotion ceremony concluded."

And with that, it was over. The soldiers filed out, more than a few looking up at the royal box. A moment or two later, Princess Celestia entered behind us. She thanked the nobles who bowed, and waited for most of them to leave. Blueblood was one of the last.

"Nephew, how go your preparations for your trip to Stalliongrad?" Celestia asked him as he walked past.

The Prince spoke up politely.

"They go well. We should depart for seven, and arrive at Stalliongrad sometime tomorrow evening."

That seemed about right. Blueblood's yacht, the Wind Fish IV, was able to cruise at about seventy-five miles an hour, so the sixteen hundred miles to Stalliongrad would be covered in that time. It was slower than a military vessel as it was a more traditional-styled airship seemingly suspended below a balloon (shaped like a fish). The balloon portion however was almost entirely for show: The "gondola" section held mag-rotors and anti-gravity engines that kept her aloft without the aid of the balloon, just like any other modern airship. At the time I thought the balloon was just an extravagance that served only to slow the ship down, but in reality, it had actual use beyond visual appeal.

First, it could help the ship stay aloft with the anti-gravity engines and rotors disengaged. This meant that it acted like the emergency balloons most modern airships carried with the advantage of not having to deploy. The conventional emergency balloon sat folded up at the top of the ship, and was deployed using magic canisters that quickly filled it with a lighter-than-air gas. However, this took at least five seconds - five seconds in the grip of gravity, plummeting to earth. Bad news at low altitudes and bound to cause injuries even if there is no collision with the ground.

Second, it slowed the ship down. This was why most modern airships had the balloon as an emergency feature, but in Blueblood's case there was no disadvantage. His yacht was a pleasure cruiser, and he liked a gentle and relaxing flight far more than the break-neck paces small and fast "fighter" airships can reach. Sure, even the fastest airship is slower than an athletic pegasus - HHS Starscream, an experimental high-speed ship, flies at only two-hundred and seventy six miles an hour whilst the average pegasus athlete can reach four to five hundred. An airship can sustain it longer, but that's beside the point.

Of course, he'd commissioned a new one to be ready in about a year's time that had a far larger balloon and would likely move even slower. Then again he'd never flown one further than Manehattan before now so maybe a distance trip would remind him a little speed could be a good thing.

"Very good. I know you still have some uncertainties about this task, but I can think of nopony else I would trust to attend such an important occasion as the swearing-in of a new Mayor for one of our largest cities."

And one of the most remote and most fortified but Princess Celestia did not mention this. Blueblood merely bowed and left.

"Now, Cadence, and Captain Sparkle. I think I should apologize for that little memory lapse. I could have sworn I'd informed you, my niece..."

I remained silent but could practically hear my new Supreme Commander roll her eyes.

"Anyway, what about your own preparations?" Celestia said.

"They go well, Auntie. Er, do I call you auntie in front of..."

"Well, I'd prefer it, myself, but it's up to you really."

Cadence looked at her aunt, then me, and then back to her aunt.

"...The preparations go well, Auntie. The Flotilla is awaiting inspection, and all should be ready to depart on time at seven-thirty. Is the dinner still going ahead?"

Celestia nodded.

"Of course. Captain Sparkle is invited, of course, along with a small entourage from the soldiers he will select for your guard. So there's not that much to do before you depart?"

"Not really, auntie. Just get the guard detail selected, sort out a few minor issues, inspect the ships and then dinner."

"Very good. Well, I'll leave you to it. Oh, one last thing."

The Princess looked almost...nervous. "Tomorrow is the thousandth Summer Sun Celebration, it will be a special occasion. If the sun does not rise on time, please continue on schedule, it shall hopefully be nothing to worry about. It is merely a surprise welcome back to somepony very special...Alright, see you at the dinner tonight."

We looked at each other very confused but couldn't think of what to say.

We bowed as Celestia left, and a few moments later Cadence moved to leave herself.

"Captain, please escort me to my study. I need to check over a few last minute details and I think we had better get started with you selecting those soldiers..." She instructed, or said, rather. She hadn't quite grasped the concept of orders at that point.

"Yes ma'am." Putting together an entire new unit to guard a Princess as she traveled around the world? In just a few hours? No problem. Right?

"I can give you a hoof with them if you like, I did try to poke my nose in a few times when Lieutenant Price was working on filtering out the candidates. He left his notes and the files in the study."

"Very good, ma'am."

"And Shining, you can be informal with me if you like."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Please tell me that was you trying to make a joke."

"It was."

"Good."

"...Did it work?"

"No."

I followed her lead, and soon enough she had taken us to the castle's West Wing. On the way, we noticed a senior Civil Servant, Sir Humphay Appleby, and the Minister for the Department of Administrative Affairs walking past their own office chatting whilst Baarnard Wooley, a junior civil servant (and also a sheep, for the record) was trying to get them to acknowledge this fact.

"Sir Humphay, Minister, we've passed the office six times!"

I told you a lot of ponies liked to talk and trot right past their destination. In this case it was because it avoided their office and avoided work.

"...Gentlecolts, can you please listen to Baarnard and actually enter your office?" Cadence spoke up.

"Oh, my apologies, Your Highness, I fear that myself and the minister were rather distracted by our important discourse upon matters of state. Dreadfully sorry, Baarnard."

And they then entered the office, under Cadence's amused gaze.

"It was never a penalty for Manechester City, Humphay! The linesmare had flagged for offside a good ten seconds before the tackle, Cloudsdale were robbed of at least a point!" The Minister could be heard as the door closed.

Also it lets them talk about hoofball for longer the more times they avoid the office.

"Utterly shameful nonsense..." Cadence muttered.

I offered no comment on what I initially thought was her views upon the conduct of a Minister and a senior Civil Servant in dodging work.

"The linesmare was trying to wave a bee away, not signal offside. Cloudsdale are just sore losers." She continued.

I was a little shocked.

"Wait, you follow hoofball?!"

"Of course. You didn't think I took Twilight along to see Maresenal with you just because she wanted go with you, did you?"

"...Oh. We lost one-nil to Trottenham."

We kept walking, passing yet more wandering Civil Servants as we neared the Princess' study. Cadence had her study in the West Wing, by her own request. At first glance it was fairly distant from her quarters in the main keep when walking, and it was strange she should put her personal study in one of the more busy parts of the castle rather than adjacent to her room, much like Princess Celestia.

As anypony who looked would realize however, both the office and her bedroom had large windows and good lines of flight between them. Getting between them (especially from bedroom on the fourth floor to study on the ground) was quite honestly fun for her. Also, by being in the admin area, she provided herself quite a bit of protection. More than once, a few ponies upset that Princess Celestia could not see them had instead sought her out. And wouldn't you know it, the civil service and the ministers floating around had this dashed habit of finding just the right pony to help the petitioner out... It actually benefited the ponies in question as much as it did Cadence.

Cadence opened the locked door with a glow of her horn.

"I don't imagine there's much point in you learning the spell to open it, it'll be at least two years before we'll be back in here anyway." She noted as we entered.

It wasn't a big study. Two writing desks sat within, one with the back to the window and another looking somewhat more temporary in nature in the corner, piled with files and letters.

"The files are at that desk... The gold file should have the ones that Price recommends, about sixty applicants. The scroll should... Wait, there wasn't a scroll this morning. It's for you."

I gave it a once-over with a quick scanning spell. A scroll could hide all sorts of surprises. A Neighponese exploding tag, a more conventional concealed gunpowder charge, a tax bill...

"...Princess Celestia sent it. She's advising me of four particular volunteers in the list." I sighed.

I had a messenger send for the three of them available. Sergeant Thunderhead, Private Captive Audience, and Private Running Gag. Lance-Corporal Apple was of course at a reunion, so I sent him a letter to tell him he had been accepted into the new unit. I left the door open at Cadence's request, as she felt the study had become a bit stuffy and wanted the air to circulate.

It also meant I could see anypony coming from where I was sitting instead of having to try getting that see-through vision spell to work properly. I've never really mastered it. Then again, used like that it would have the nasty side effect of seeing the parts of the pony if someone walked across my vision. I had no further desire to see a sentient creature's lungs again even if this time they would still be inside him or her.

I waited a short time, looking through the files quickly. A decent number of them came highly recommended by their own officers according to Price's notes, and their files looked promising too. Two more troopers were selected by the time the first three arrived, heralded by voices echoing down the corridor.

"...So he says to him 'A purple box? Well, that's a ten minute joke with no punchline.'"

"I don't get it."

"I did, but I regret having the cognitive ability to do so now."

The three then came into view. I had them enter, where they bowed to Cadence, even as confusion or dismay at one of Running Gag's notoriously terrible jokes reigned supreme.

"Okay, gentlecolts, you obviously knew beforehoof that I was getting this job. How?" I asked, giving Thunderchild a glance.

"Well, sir, a little bird told me. That is to say not that little a bird at all, actually quite a regal-sized one if you catch my meaning."

"My Auntie Celestia told you. Why couldn't you just say that?" Cadence pondered.

No one brought up the point that Thunderchild would never refer to Celestia as "Cadence's Aunt" or indeed as his own aunt as an exact repetition of her words would have then indicated.

"Indeed, Your Highness, Her Highness spoke to me two weeks ago when the volunteers were being sought. She advised me to tell trusted troopers the true nature of who would be the most likely commander, but noted confirmation would be last-minute for a few reasons."

"I see. Why did Ellis go to his family reunion for the afternoon instead of waiting on news he'd been accepted or denied?"

"Well, he bought the train ticket to Ponyville three weeks ago, sir. "

"Ah, right. Wait, Ponyville?"

"Before you mention the chariot your sister took, sir, he did have the train tickets and some sort of brunch to avoid. I think your sister probably did not avoid it if I have my timing right..."

"What would she have to do with Apple's family reunion?"

"He told me they're handling the catering and said his family tends to be too helpful in making sure everypony leaves full."

Oh well, it'd make up a bit for all the times she forgot to eat while she was studying.

"Very well, Sergeant, you four are the first members of Cadence's Guard. That means you three that are here get to run messages. I'm going to send out letters to the commanding officers of the ponies I accept to formally ask for permission, even though it's already been granted in most cases except four of them that apparently had an executive order sneakily overrule their CO..."

Three pairs of eyes under golden helmets avoided looking at me.

"Gag, Audience, you two are the runners, and Thunderchild, you're standing guard outside."

"Yes sir," All three replied.

"Wait a second, what was that about Twilight and a chariot?" Cadence asked.

I decided to explain while I handed a letter each to Gag and Audience. She seemed pleased too.

"That should be good for her. She's never really been outside Canterlot, and to be given an important job like that as well. Was she nervous about it?"

"She seemed more worried about the legend of the Mare in the Moon than the job she'd been given, to be honest."

"Ah. So she's off to do her job in confidence."

"Er, no, she is genuinely worried about the Mare in the Moon."

"...What?" Some more explaining to do.

After that, the next hour or so was a routine. Soldiers would be selected, and the two messengers would run off to inform the troopers and their commanders of their selection. I planned to inspect the troops after Cadence inspected the ships, after which they'd likely all embark their gear and belongings aboard. In that hour though I had picked out ten troops, counting the four that I already had at the start, technically.

The routine was only broken when Cadence decided it was time for lunch. Or rather, when Cadence groaned and rubbed her head with a hoof.

"Ugh, I'm glad I'm almost ready to go on this trip and be done with reading files on ponies. And donkeys and zebras and griffins. Pretty sure one was a minotaur as well. The worst part is I have no idea who the minotaur was and it's not like there's dozens of minotaurs around the castle. I know there's a minotaur in the Guard but it's not him..."

"Corporal Will?" I suddenly recalled that mighty set of pipes.

"He won't be here much longer, sir. He's not re-joining. He said something about taking up motivational speaking I think," Thunderchild noted.

"Well, the only thing more awe-inspiring than his muscles is his voice. Anyway, gentlecolts, I think it's lunchtime."

Private Audience was then surprised to be ordered to head to a small salad and beanburger stall not too far from the castle walls. I recognized it.

"So, Your Highness, Twilight rubbed off on you a little, did she?"

Cadence laughed at that.

"Well, to be honest, you just don't get good hayfries at the average dinner here in the castle. Usually my hoofmaiden Sunset goes but she's visiting her mother before we set off."

"Don't you have more than one?"

"Yes but I made the mistake of letting them each decide if they wanted to come and they're out discussing it with friends and family. Doesn't help they were all at a birthday party today."

She paused for a second.

"Mind you it does have me thinking. You can't keep fruits and vegetables fresh forever and be sure of collecting more. After all various countries we'll visit have meat-eaters or other foods we ponies might find odd. Meat might be put on the menu just to test us."

"Have you ever eaten any form of meat, ma'am?" Thunderchild wondered.

"...Yes. Fish and chicken as part of my diplomatic etiquette lessons. I managed to avoid anything that might have been able to speak..."

This alluded to the fact that some Griffins ate beef. They claimed it was from a subspecies incapable of speech and showing no signs of sapience. That hadn't stopped some Griffin nations outlawing beef entirely. In fact, it's widely expected that beef embargoes may be the cause of the next war between Griffin Nations. Reminded me how some ponies thought eating eggs was in violation of the traditional pony vegetarian edict.

"Princess, every soldier in the Royal Guard is trained that in emergencies where the correct food is unavailable, that fish and chicken are viable emergency rations. And I think most larger airships actually carry a small towed launch that is designed to obtain food from the sea."

Mostly seaweed, actually, but yes, in an emergency fish is viable. The trouble is with everything being so salty, and with most everypony aboard being ponies... You can imagine.

"I see. That makes sense." Cadence nodded.

"There was this one trooper that was kind of odd about it on my part of that training, sir. All he ever ate was fish and chicken even when they had hay and flowers available..." Private Gag began.

"He was a griffin, wasn't he?" Three voices said together.

"...Aw, you've heard that one."

"Yes, we have. And for the record, Corporal Griffen would appreciate if you stopped using that gag about him."

Cadence blinked.

"Wait, his name is Griffin? Is he an actual..."

"Yes. He's a Griffin named Griffen. With an E." I said.

"Oh. Like some ponies have the second name Pony."

I looked back at the list of soldiers. As it happened there were actually two troopers called Pony, and Corporal Griffen was on the volunteer list. One of the Ponies seemed promising, so a Pony called Pony and a Griffin called Griffen wound up added to the unit. Griffen was also a good choice because we'd travel to several Griffin Kingdoms, and his knowledge of their culture would be invaluable (textbooks could tell you a bit, but having a native of the country was always preferable, thus why I also tried to place a Zebra on the crew as well).

Lunch and the next few hours were uneventful. I filled in the blanks, as Cadence finished her own work and moved to the general day to day work of a Princess.

"...Gha, where were you five minutes ago, L-Block?!"

Eventually, it was Inspection Time. This meant that first, Princess Cadence and I would wander around looking at airships.

"...Your Highness, which ships will make up the Flotilla?" I wondered, as we began walking to the Airship docks.

Airships I knew almost nothing about.

"Oh, I forgot to say, didn't I. It's the Frigate HHS Invincible, the Scientific Survey Corvette HHS Enterprise, and the Gunship Corvettes HHS Dreadnought and HHS Falcon. The ranking Air Naval officer is Commander Shepard. You'll meet her later when we inspect the ships."

"I see."

I'm not in the Air Navy wing of the Royal Guard, so I didn't know the ships intimately just by their names. I knew HHS meant "Her Highnesses Ship", I knew that Corvettes were bigger than Patrol Craft and Attack Boats, but smaller than Frigates which were smaller than Destroyers, Cruisers, Pocket Battleships, Battleships, and Patrol Craft Carriers. I knew that Invincible was also the class of Frigate, so she was the lead ship of her class.

I knew that if you put my sister aboard anything called a Scientific Survey anything she'd likely never leave, but that was about it for the Enterprise. The other two Corvettes, I'd never heard of.

Commander Shepard outranked me due to the fact a naval commander is actually equivalent to a lieutenant-colonel on land. Yet oddly because she was in charge of a ship she was a captain, and because I, a captain, was in charge of an entire branch of the Royal Guards I was a commander.

However, in the grand scheme of things our jobs at this point were to ignore each other. She would show Cadence around her ships, and I was merely there to keep an eye on Cadence, as well as maybe pick up a few facts about the ships that would be my home for the next two years.

However, there were some interesting things aboard the ships.

"... Invincible has thirty guns of various types and calibers, spread over the broadside decks, facing upwards and downwards from the belly/bombardment gun decks, as well as two rocket torpedo bays. We also have a half-dozen ballistas and catapults to conserve gunpowder and numerous firing ports for unicorn horns around the ship. Every one of the guns can be armed with Party loads of confetti and streamers..."

What? I'm a Stallion. Explosions are awesome, guns make explosions, therefore guns are awesome, Q.E.D.

You'd be surprised how much the average Equestrian is surprised at ever finding out the Navy's airships had weapons. Let alone finding out swords were meant for more than fancy ceremonies in this enlightened day and age.

Anyway, that was it. Not much to learn except that Cadence would be living aboard Invincible, the Frigate with a crew of three hundred and fifty, a top speed of a hundred and ninety knots given by her mag-rotor engines, fed from a magical fuel source supply that would last up to five years of normal operations giving it a theoretically limitless range apart from the pesky need to feed the crew and get more gunpowder every now and then.

Oh, and that we would likely travel at a hundred and thirty knots so that the whole flotilla could stay together as Enterprise was a little bit slower.

After that there really wasn't much to say. I inspected the troops, now with added Lance-Corporal Ellis Apple. I told them they were joining a new branch of the Guard, that they were each to be diplomatic and give their young unit reasons for pride in the future, and then Cadence spoke to them for a short while.

This would normally be when we'd be infused with Cadence's essences, but as we found out at this point, Cadence did not know how yet (something she blushed a bit when recounting), and thus us former Day Guards would keep Celestia's inside us.

They began to board the ships, the Air Naval guard finding places for them and the diplomatic parts of the entourage.

We saw Prince Blueblood overseeing his own ship getting ready, and Cadence decided to go over for a short chat and so my brain decided to shut down for a bit. About all I recall was he seemed genuinely happy just at the prospect of flying his airship, which I would later learn was one of his most beloved hobbies right after acting like a complete fool.

Okay, in all fairness, it's a crying shame he never joined the Air Navy as he probably would have made a decent navigations officer there. And not just because he'd be on a ship far from Canterlot up to nine months a year.

But yes, that was really it. The evening was uneventful. I readied for dinner, putting on my red Dress uniform that was now back from the tailors and one of the few things I hadn't had boxed up and put aboard the ship. I sent a letter to my parents, who it turns out were away on a vacation at the time and replied soon after, pleased for me and telling me to be careful. I considered a letter to Twilight, but thought against it.

The dinner consisted of me largely being quiet and answering the occasional question directed at me, but Cadence was the center of attention when it wasn't on Celestia. It wasn't really terrible - I'd been to a number of formal dinners like that before, except this time I was actually at the table rather than standing around at the back. Fortunately a few Generals, Admirals, and Brigadiers were floating around so I didn't stand out as the only idiot in red in a room full of black tuxedos.

After that, a fairly hasty change to armor to match the rest of the Guard I commanded, and then boarding the ship. Princess Celestia bid farewell to Cadence, and we were almost delayed when the Alicorn of the Sun was reluctant to release the hug. In hindsight I should maybe have been noticing the act was a little bit more than a sign of how close Celestia was to her niece, and maybe noticing an element of genuine worry.

She then got a hug from each of her parents, Blue Song and Bright Blood, the latter of which giving me the typical parental warning given when handing their daughter's safety over to somepony else about how much trouble I'd be in if I let anything happen to his daughter.

At the time though I was just regretting to myself that I wasn't able to hug anypony to see me off. My sister was in Ponyville and for the next two years I was simply going to be moving further and further away from her.

"Feeling all right, sir?" A voice broke me from my contemplation.

"Hm? Oh, yes, Sergeant. Just lost in thought."

"Probably a bad idea, sir. Very difficult to find a map of thoughts and far harder to send scouts on ahead. Anyway, I checked your room as you asked, sir. Everything seems to be there fine."

"Very good." I nodded, as Cadence boarded the ship. She was wiping her eyes as she did so.

"Are you okay, Cadence?" I said without thinking.

She nodded, missing my slip.

"Yes, I'm fine, Shining, thank you. Just a little sniffly. Auntie and my parents seemed more upset than I am really."

The ship lurched slightly, and began to lift away from the docks. Princess Celestia stood watching with Blue Song and Bright Blood, and the other three ships in our little flotilla began to lift off too.

"Oh, Shining? Can you please call me Cadence when we're in situations like this rather than 'Ma'am' or 'Your Highness'? "

"Certainly, Ma'am" I said, grinning.

She got the joke and smiled herself.

"...Anyway, Commander Shephard invited me to the bridge after we took off. I think I'm going to head to my room first. Could you meet me at the bridge in five minutes?"

I nodded, and she left.

"Do any of you have any smart remarks to possibly remove from your systems?" I asked the four enlisted ponies.

"Uh, no, sir. In fact I wager all we have are stupid remarks." Lance-Corporal Apple answered honestly.

Naturally everypony looked to Running Gag, who sighed and assured us he had none...right now.

"Good. See you later, Gentlecolts."

By the time I was at the bridge to meet Cadence, we had rose and moved away until Canterlot was like an ant hill. We could see Cloudsdale floating over behind a cloud. We could see train lines crossing the plains, see little towns and villages dotted around. We could see some of the vast expanse of the Everfree Forest. We would pass Manehattan at about half past nine, and be over the sea heading for our first destination.

A Griffin Republic, where our arrival was to be timed to ensure Cadence would attend the inauguration of a new President. A fairly simple start to the tour, I thought.

Remember what I said about thinking about things like that?

The Summer Sun Celebration? Did I see anything unusual? Well... There was Nightmare Moon I guess.

Oh. You mean before it? Uh, no, everything was actually pretty normal.

...Well, there was this one weird thing the night before Princess Luna came back. It was late, but I was going to see my big sister that evening, about an hour after the weather team had got rid of the short shower they'd scheduled. She was excited about her job for the summer sun celebration. She was really looking forward to working on the decorations, but she was only supposed to start the next day - you know, right before the celebration? It's some ceremonial thing, apparently all the preparations need to be done under the light of the previous day's sun or something.

But anyway, when I was getting near her house, I realized there was this... weird shape following me. It looked like a big dog, or a wolf. It might have had a horn in it's head, but I wasn't sure. But... It seemed kind of see-through.

"Uh... Hi, doggie?" I said to it. It walked over, and it sniffed me for a moment.

The creepy thing was, my hoof prints the way I'd came behind it were gone. Not one mark in the damp mud at all.

It growled, and I nearly jumped back. But I remember Fluttershy came to the school a while ago and told us all that if a dog or an animal is turning violent you don't make sudden movements or break eye contact. So I tried to do that.

Like a camera flash I had an image in my head of myself living with those two mares Lyra and Bon-Bon, and that filly named Tootsie Flute, a, my (?) sister? But it felt, wrong, not just 'cause that never happened, more like, it was wrong for it to happen, like it was a half finished script that got rejected. And I a part of that rejected image. I don't, I'm n-t, I w-sn't- "

My memories of Rarity and mom and dad flashed through my head like tiny soldiers coming to the front to separating me from the picture.

And then I could swear it spoke. But it sounded... weird. Like it was speaking backwards or something.

"...nO. supposeD tO exisT. noT wronG."

And then it walked away slowly. I blinked and... It was gone.

"Hey... Where'd you go?"

Then I head a voice shouting behind me.

"Ah, there you are Sweetie Belle! I couldn't recognize you in the dark! What were they thinking? Mother said you'd be here late but she didn't say this late. You could have gotten lost! You're lucky I thought to look for you!"

Didn't recognize me in the dark? On a full moon? "Oh, hi, sis... Did you see a dog here?"

"What? No, dear... but you seemed to be looking off into space. Is something wrong?"

I shook my head.

"It's probably nothing."

And... that was about it.

...Huh, you know what's really weird?

I think I actually forgot about that whole thing until... Until you guys reminded me.

Chapter 76: (Dark World) Apple Tree

Pony POV Series
"Dark World" Part Seven
By Alex Warlorn
Apple Tree

"Come on Applejack! Are ya old or somethin'? Catch me if ya can!"

"Come on Applebloom! Get back here little filly! And whatcha doin' coverin' yerself with glow in the dark paint like that! Granny Smith is gonna give ya such a whoppin'!"

"Come and try ta catch me!" Mah glowin' little filly of a sister laughed as she skipped along the castle-palace-geometric-thingie-place of chaos. She stuck her tongue out at me before running off again.

"Lalalala-lalala!"

"Leave the singin' ta Sweetie Belle Apple Bloom! Now stay still tarnation!"

"Ya said stay still, so ya must mean ya want me ta move faster!"

"Ah ain't lyin'!"

"So that meant ya are lyin'!" Apple Bloom just kept laughin' like she had swallowed a load of soft feathers.

Ah shook mah head. Ah couldn't shake the feelin' Ah was forgettin' somethin' important. But Ah woke up in the middle of mah sleep and found mah little sister floating above mah bed (must have been usin' wires or somethin', if it were some kind of illusion Ah'd have felt it).

She smiled at me and stuck her tongue out like me all sassy like, like she had earned every cutie mark in the world! She floated down to the floor. She must have been usin' soundproof shoes cause she didn't make a sound as she skipped right through the door. Ah mean, RIGHT through the door, like it wasn't even there, and stuck her head through it a tic' later and asked if I was comin' or not. I galloped after her head first with Pa's hat and slammed flat against it. Master makin' the doors intangible for her and not me? Geeze, Master always has somethin' new up his sleeves. But he never helped somepony else play a joke on me before!

Yeah, Ah know what intangible is ya dork! All the time Ah spend with Rarigreed Ah picked up a lotta fancy words.

After a thousand years of being almost constantly with her, Ah really finally see what she sees in them fancy dresses and fancy words Aunt and Uncle Orange tried teachin' me as she plays with her 'family.'

By my words, your beauty, your dictation, they tell a pony a million things about you before you even engage them in proper conversation darling.

But Ah can't be that Applejack, Ah'm 'bout the only thing that keeps TD kinda sane, and keeps Rarigreed from turnin' inta another Angry Pie and Spike ... Ah want good old Spike to have somethin' that helps remind 'em that precious year we had together, against the thousand we've had since then. It makes them happy. Who cares if it's a lie?

Finally trying to get hold of 'Bloom leads me ta the gallery. Yea, that gallery. The one with Sparkler Hooves dancin' whenever anyone tells her to, the Princesses, one of the hundred copies of the vase Philomena's ashes were made into, and some statues that are just statues just to spice things up.

"What's the matter big sister? Come on!" Applebloom hopped up and down in the middle of the room smiling.

Dang. What was Ah forgettin'? It was drivin' me crazy! It had to do with 'Bloom. But Mah head felt fuzzy when Ah tried to think 'bout it! Dang it! Gotta catch 'Bloom!

"Thank yah kindly Princesses! By the way, Yer Pa says hi."

An', TARNATION! SHE DID NOT JUST PLUCK TWO FEATHERS FROM THE PRINCESSES! "OKAY BLOOM! ENOUGH IS TOO MUCH!"

She hopped through the wall past a tapestry of diamond dogs playing poker. Dang. That thing was ugly even for this place! Ah made sure she wasn't IN the tapestry before pulling it back, that'd happened a couple times.

What the hay?! The wall just split open and revealed a set of stairs just goin' down and down and down.

"Alright 'Bloom this is just too far." Ah heard 'Bloom giggle behind me and Ah felt some THING push me... and down Ah went. Ah have never felt so thankful for bein' immortal. Ah only passed out... Ah kinda lost count how many times from bangin' Mah head downs the steps. Ah lay there fer a spell regeneratin' before Ah get up.

Ugh.

Big fancy door with a hole in it for unicorn horn. Dang. Applebloom you have some nerve. Huh? Already open? Good luck fer me.

Big round chamber, like some expensive indoor swimming pool. 'Cept the pool cover is some mechanical doodad that looks like the shutter you see on a camera. Ah see Bloom pull down on a lever and it begins opening. Now how is that fair? She can go through doors but can still pick up stuff? And how did those feathers go through the wall with her? Dang this doesn't make sense. Sigh, 'and what fun is there in makin' sense' dang Master.

The room looked like the it hadn't been touched in a thousand years, didn't see none of Master's 'upgrades' anywhere.

There's a soft pain in mah chest, I wonder what that's about. Somethin' 'bout this whole room feelin' mighty wrong!

"Over here big sistah! Ah promise not ta move away from this here spot!" 'Bloom hopped on over. The 'pool' was filled with some liquid silvery stuff. It was hard ta tell. It was so smooth. Somethin' 'bout made mah eyes hurt.

Ah trot over her. It's crazy, but all this time, from when Ah first saw her, Ah swear Ah could see through her.

"Applebloom! Now yer gonan tell me what this here is all 'bout right NOW!!!"

'Bloom looked hurt, good, she needs to grow up and learn her goofin' off doesn't effect just her! Grow up, wait...

"Big sister, Ah just wanna say first, thanks fer everything, and Ah love ya very much, and always will, and Ah'm sorry 'bout this next part."

"WAIT A SEC'! Ah remember now! Applebloom! YER DEAD!"

Applebloom pulled her face off like it was a Nightmare Night mask, showin' a clean white skull underneath! The pink bowed skull grew ta the size of Trixie's ego an' made ah little girl's imitation of a scary voice turned up to ten! And it sure dang scared me!

Ah backed up like Twili' from a nest of rattlers and... "Whao-Whao-Whao!" Ah was balancin' right on the edge!

Applebloom, back to 'normal' said, "Big sister, welcome to The Truth." And pushed me in! Truth? TRUTH? NO NO NO NO! 'BLOOM HOW COULD YOU-!

Ah fall, it's just Ah moment but-splash down. Ah see the ceiling, and 'Bloom looking down at me...

Ah sink like a rock. It burns. Ah'm on fire! It hurts! It's in mah ears, it's in mah eyes, in mah nose, up mah, ugh! In mah mouth, in mah t-hroat-stop it! Ah don't want anything to do with you anymore!!!! ALL YOU'VE EVER DONE IS HURT PONIES!

It's in Mah veins! It's killin' me!

"You treat our world like a retarded foal, never allowing free will! I bet you stole my immortality with the Elements on purpose!" Luna roared at Celestia.

"I would NEVER do that!! And you think it's a virtue for us to sit on our flanks and do nothing when everything goes to Tartarus!" Celestia snapped at Luna.

Cadence let off a few floating hearts towards the two elder Alicorns.

"I'm sorry for what I said Celly. Let's compromise."

"I'm sorry too Lulu. And okay." The two Alicorns hugged each other smiling.

'That's a relief, good thing I was here.' Cadence thought, feeling a strange dread at the idea of how the situation might have gone if she had never been born.

"Lock on and fire all weapons!" ordered the Pony Rangers from the cockpit of the freshly formed Ultra Pony Zord.

"Warning! Overload-Overload! Too many changes! System locked!"

Gildar roared in fury. "No I don't believe it!" she exclaimed, helpless as the Ultra Pony Zord let loose its full arsenal on Grifclopsys and Early-Day-Star. "Rainbow Dash!"

"Is that all you've got Twilight?
That won't be enough to end my blight!
You must put MORE into this fight!" Zecora grunted, the parasitic infection of the Windigos having grown to where she looked like the hanger on instead of the other way around. The stripped wings and horn of ice jerking her body around.

Twilight magically gripped her tighter, "Don't give up Zecora! I have yet to begun to fight!"

Featherweight looked on in horror as Applebloom slammed Big Mac into the arena floor again. Blood stains began to appear on the guard uniform Big Mac had 'obtained.'

"But-but Ah came here to rescue ya-"

"Sorry Big brother!" The filly laughed, quite literally, manically as her mane wrapped tighter around her brother's legs, "Yer little sister's a murdering lunatic! Sorry ya missed the memo!"

"... 'Bloom, the day Ma died."

"Ma? MA! Ha! That nag ain't was no mother! When the Nightmare Bomb was dropped on Ponyville? She saw me, AND SAVED A BASKET OF PRIZE APPLES INSTEAD!"

"Stop it! He's your brother isn't he-?!" Featherweight shouted as he ran across the arena floor his feathers becoming as sharp as blades.

Pinkie Pie didn't know where she was. All she knew was that she had been heading towards the Organization's stronghold, had blacked out, and now was fighting a white pegasus with her face using the same keyblade as her. Inside her own soul!

"Why! Why did they choose you?!" The white pegasus demanded.

The white pegasus saw the stain glass pictures of Pinkie's friends on the floor. "Oh, that's why."

Twilight snarled, the Element of Magic glowing brightly in the mecha's forehead. As Discord's rose, regenerating the damage dealt, it was sent plowing through the replicated building behind it. "The reason you tried to break our wills!" she yelled, planting a metal foot on his back and grabbing hold of his wing. "The reason you took the Elements of Harmony!" she yelled, ripping the wing off and throwing it aside.

"The reason you isolated us from each other!" she yelled as he tried to reassemble the matter in his machine's arm into a weapon, hers merely punching straight through and shattering it's limb. "The reason why you tried to severe our bond of friendship!" As Discord's mechanoid tried desperately to regenerate the damage that was dealt as quickly as it healed, Twilight grabbed its horn and pulled it in, shattering half of it with a headbutt. "It's all because you fear us! The power of our Elements of Harmony will grow with our friendships, and always surpass your power! This is the power born of friendship!"

Discord snarled in his cockpit. "What does a god have to fear!" he roared, rushing Twilight once more.

"And cut!" announced the director's voice, the two suit actors ceasing their pitched fight while the unicorns responsible for special effects cut them off, revealing 'Discord's' mecha had been damaged to it's present state from the start, hidden by simple illusion spells. "Alright, everyone take a five minute break to set up for the next scene."

Twilight climbed out of the mock cockpit as the two suit actors took the heads off their suits to get some air, 'Discord' doing much the same. Twilight recognized the actor from the old Star Trot shows. Discord wasn't the hot blooded villain type, but with Princess Luna's return, another mad deity had to take Nightmare Moon's place in the script.

"See, I told you this would be awesome!" shouted Rainbow Dash, walking over in her silver armored costume, completely with fake battle damage.

Twilight sighed, taking a drink of water. Screaming half your lines worked for looking hotblooded, but it was hard on the throat. "Yeah, I guess... But didn't they offer you the part?"

"Yeah, of course, I'm perfect for it, but-"

"You found out Soarin' was a different character's love interest?"

Rainbow Dash blushed. "No! I... I just thought we should play the characters we share elements with is all."

Twilight rolled her eyes, remembering the reaction Rainbow Dash had had when she got to be Soarin's character's love interest.

"Alright, everypony! Let's film the next scene!"

The moment Scootaloo heard Rainbow Dash say to her that Dash had told the orphanage about her and they'd be there to pick Scootaloo up in the morning, Scootaloo ran, and kept running. The soothing voice of Discord would guide Scootaloo from now on.

"Now Twilight Sparkle!" Discord called out.

"Y-Y-YES Best Buddy Forever!" Twilight grinned maniacally with wall eyes. A shower of sparkles came from her horn, creating several dancing rabbits from rocks as purple and blue lightning struck up from the ground.

Twilight as so smart. Yes she was. 'If chaos can not exist without order, once I've help eliminate all order, I'll have eliminated all chaos! Then everything will be in order! I am so smart!' Twilight giggled to herself as she cast two different 'Want it, Need it' spells on two objects at once in sight of a crowd of ponies. The absolute love for both a dolly and a ball of yarn driving the crowd absolutely insane. Twilight giggled at how clever she was. Discord patted her on the head. "You are so smart Twilight."

"Yes yes yes!"

"Majordomo, please deliver this letter to me, but not me, a week from yesterday, but only after the parallel lines cross on Plutoday."

"YES GIANT MUFFIN!" Derpy saluted and flew into a wall, twice, and then flew out the window.

"Giant hat! I am so pretty!" Rarity pranced around with a cat the size of a house on her head with feathers, jewels, and pearls and ribbons.

"Anyone want so super delicious pears?!" Applejack called out as ponies gave her pears that she ate and gave them money. Flutterhy giggled as she gave a pear without accepting money. AJ gasped. "YER EVIL!"

"BWAHAHA!" Fluttershy then tapped danced with the long legged rabbits to the sound of classical music. She was wearing a 'I Heart My Daddy' t-shirt.

Trixie sat calm and dignified sipping overpriced tea while softly reading poetry through a monocle.

"Yippie! YAHOO! I ROCK!" Said Daring Do jumping form book to book, looking strangely like Rainbow Dash. "I always adventure in style!"

"Alright everypony! This is the LAUGH-WHILE-YOU-DANCE-PARTY, very different from the SKATE-WHILE-YOU-GIGGLE party!" Shouted Pinkie Pie (wearing a queenly crown) who looked rather like from the lost third third age, to a crowd of ponies who looked like they belonged to the revised third age and a half flash back age. "We'll earn a cutie mark!" The CMC shouted in the crowd, covered in every cutie mark imaginable, every other pony in the crowd blank.

Warp Bubble and Random Fortune, Pinkie's twelve and nineteenth child with her king respectively provided the music for their mother. Her other children were busy rearranging galaxies to form her face as a gift.

Baby Chrysalis and baby Cadence happily played patty cake.

On one of Discord's arm hug a pink Celestia, and on the other a purple Luna. As all three made out in front of their subjects.

"So, what do you think?" Discord asked.

"Eh, it's not pointy enough, and what's with all the pink and brown?"

"Ah, but you're missing the beauty of it, my little princess, the contradicting colors and shapes have a certain appeal to it, the ponies call it Modern Art."

"Eh..." She snapped her fingers. "There, that's better."

Discord scratched his chin, looking at their new 'home' in mental limbo, which was like something out of a Picasso painting. He looked closely at the sharp angled black shapes that Fluttercruel had added to the structure, then smiled. "Haha! Now you're getting it, Fluttercruel! That's my girl!" he exclaimed, putting his eagle claw on the Draconequus/Pegasus hybrid's shoulder with a genuinely content smile.

"Thanks, Dad," she said, giving a smirk.

"Now come on, let's swim in the dark chocolate swimming pool, shall we?"

Discord's imprisonment wasn't so bad, now that he had rescued his child's soul from the shadow world. And he had to admit, doing the right thing had been quite fun. Doing good things felt good, who knew? Astral projecting to look into the Truth hadn't been such a bad thing after all.

Empress Trixie sat on her throne, and sighed. Outside every pony in Equestria was cheering for the twentieth anniversary of her rule over all Equestria. Luna and Celestia happily keeping the sun and moon working for the new Empress of Equestria.

"Empress Trixie would you like me to hit myself in the face with a pie again?" Twilight Sparkle asked with swirlie eyes in a jester costume. The next room was literally overflowing with presents from her subjects.

"No."

"How about I say how inferior I am to your greatness?"

"No," Sighed the middle aged mare.

"Would you like me to tell all of Equestria to cheer your supreme supremacy again today?"

"No."

A swirlie eyed AJ meanwhile looked worried at Empress Trixie who hadn't eaten a bite of the lavish lunch she had prepared for her.

A concerned swirlie eyed adult Sweetie Belle asked a swirlie eyed Rarity (who was working on her empress' evening royal anniversary robe), "Should I sing for her Great and Powerfulness?"

"Not yet Sweetie."

"Twilight."

"Yes Great And Powerful Empress Trixie?" Asked the smiling Twilight.

"Do you love Trixie?"

"We ALL love you Empress Trixie! Everypony! Everywhere!" Twilight grinned loyally.

"Trixie knows, everypony loves Trixie." Trixie said in a tone that was the exact opposite of her words. She broke down crying.

"Twilight! Is this the kind of life you want? Surrounded by books you've already read studying what you've already learned?"

"Twilight is all knowing and all understanding!" The thing with Twilight's mother's face snarled and hissed at what Trixie had just said, wrapped around Twilight and surrounded by the closed circle of knowledge.

"Twilight, I have a gift from Mrs. Smartypants, just for you," said Trixie, pulling out Twilight's Element of Magic.

"Pinkie Pie! Stop!" Rainbow Dash begged.

Rarity implored, "PLEASE! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!"

Twilight cried, "I never, I could never, Pinkie Pie this can't be you!"

Fluttershy had already fainted, several time and by now was simply catatonic.

AJ still had spirit and squirmed against her bonds. "Ah swear! Somehow, someway, you'll get yers fer this!"

Pinkie Pie laughed. "Oh don't be such sour pusses, life is a party! And your names all came up!"

She held the karaoke microphone, "Besides we finished all the vocals from every season of Pony Rangers already."

Everypony sighed in relief.

"Now we can sing every vocal song from every season of Bug Masked Rider!"

Everypony screamed in terror.

Winona set across from Opal, hardly believing her ears as the glamorous unicorn told the brown earth pony of her crazy dream. Her a dog? Angel a rabbit? It was crazy. Though she kind of could see Opal being a cat.

"Bwaahaha! None of you can stand against the divine might of Nightmare Muffin!"

"Muuu-fin, muu-fin, muu-fin!" Her army of wall eyed zombies marched tirelessly onward.

"Wow!" Dinky cheered flanked by special muffin headed minions, a homemade paper crown on her head. Her big sister Sparkler sat silently and dully with an adult sized pacifier in her mouth. Dinky smiled. "Mom's gotten super-duper-confidence!"

Derpy slammed a hoof in Berry Punch's face, both were wearing black leg bands.

"HOW COULD YOU LET THAT HAPPEN TO RUBY?! YOUR OWN DAUGHTER?!"

"I... I was drunk, I misread the labels, I thought it was the soft-cider, it was just a game-"

"A DRINKING GAME WITH A FOAL-?!"

"I-I'm s-sor-"

"Sorry doesn't bring Ruby back!"

Orange Top and Ruby Pinch played Pony Rangers with Pipqueak and Featherweight.

The flower trio plus Carrot Top (ironic given her green mane) meanwhile casually chatted with Lady Berry Punch, happy to be friend with such a successful winery master who was in direct competition with the Apple's cider market.

"Please, Cheerilee, please, can I see Ruby? Just a bit?" Berry Punch begged her baby's foster mother.

"Berry, you know the court said-"

"Sis, please ."

" ... " Cheerilee looked around. "Alright. But I didn't let you in, and you weren't here, understand?"

"Thank you."

The green cocoon broke open, and out fell a white carapace changeling with violet wings and green compound eyes.

"Welcome to the swarm little sister," Nuzzled a larger white changeling with a similar color scheme but blue compound eyes. The smaller changeling nuzzled back.

Queen Twilight observed soaking up the love her swarm willingly offered her.

Chrysalis had realized she was dying, and was the only survivor of her hive's extermination in the battle of Canterlot. Not wanting her species to vanish into oblivion, she had kidnapped the purple unicorn, cocooned her, and transferred into her all her power, all her essence, killing herself in the process, and saddling Twilight as the only changeling queen on Earth.

And with it came an instinct Twilight could no more ignore or resist for longer than breathing, 'create her swarm, form her hive.'

She had brought her six friends into her new swarm first... Actually the first was Spike. Then they had brought their families into the swarm as well, along with Mayor Mare. Twilight remembered Scootaloo with tears in her eyes had discovered what was happening and had WILLINGLY let herself follow Rainbow Dash into the swarm.

Dash's mind had been the first to empathic link between queen and her swarm, her loyalty to Twilight stronger than ever.

They did have to stop Dr. Whooves from blowing up Ponyville twice or warning Princess Celestia. For a stallion who claimed to abhor murder he was rather quick on the draw when it came to genocide.

Queen Twilight couldn't have her teacher learn of Twilight's new mantle until her swarm was of viable size, and Twilight could show her mentor that Twilight had no intention of challenging Celestia for the throne of Canterlot like Chrysalis had.

Twilight was surprised to find a rogue drone living in Canterlot from Chrysalis' swarm. At least she didn't have to hide her secret from Bon-Bon and Lyra now. Twilight wasn't insane like Chrysalis had been. She didn't want all of Equestria, what she wanted was a viable population model for her new kind. And they needed the rest of Equestria untouched to feed themselves after all.

Chrysalis had been insane to think her hostile take over of Canterlot would have left any love for her swarm to harvest.

Sweetie flew over to join an orange and a yellow changeling nymphling working on a cocoon containing Granny Smith, fixing her broken hip before bringing her into the swarm and making her the figure of beauty she was lifetimes before, being so old meant taking longer with her.

Yes. Queen Twilight was certain she could show her teacher that the swarm only wished to exist. What insanity had possessed Chrysalis to want to convert Twilight's mentor?

An Alicorn with approval of them living was far more viable than another member of the swarm.

"MMMMMH-HMMMM!" Squirmed a unicorn in her own cocoon already half-way transformed.

"I'm sorry Trixie, but I can't let you out. You DID sneak into town without knowing about my change wanting to curse me. Look at it this way, you're now becoming part of a bigger family can you can imagine," Trixie seem panic and struggle more at that, "All of you belonging, each of you special to me. And you'll be able to gather so much love with your showmareship when you're not putting others down. Just think of all those ponies loving you." Trixie's struggle slowly became more passive with her words.

A purple shelled changeling with green wings tirelessly wrote down notes besides her. "Cheerilee wants to know when she can open the school again Twilight."

"Very soon Spike, I don't understand why I can't bring Pipsqueak and his family into the swarm, but with Sweetie Belle that was the last of the foals that needed bringing into the swarm otherwise."

"Yes Swarm Mother."

"Please Spike, you can still call me Twilight." The changeling queen clapped her hooves. "This is gonna make such a great Friendship Report!"

Harmony Queen Twilight twisted and turned on her gossamer wings, leading her mages as Harmony Queen Applejack led her ground forces and Harmony Queen Rainbow led their pegasi. Harmony Queen Fluttershy directed their medics, as Harmony Queens Pinkie Pie and Rarity fought on the front lines.

Two thirds of the the former Royal Guard (now the Guard of Harmony) fought against the faction belonging to the last free Alicorn on Earth.

"Why Cadence!" Twilight shouted, "How could you do this?! Why give in willing to the taint of black magic? We were like sisters!"

Nightmare Polyphony shouted back in the Royal Canterlot Voice, "IT WAS THE ONLY WAY TWILIGHT! TO SAVE THE WORLD FROM EQUESTRIA, EQUESTRIA FROM YOU, AND YOU FROM YOURSELF! IF SACRIFICING MY SANITY MEANS THAT, THEN SO BE IT!"

"Equestria is in perfect balance! Perfect harmony! You're the one corrupting that peace!"

"CAN'T YOU SEE THIS EQUESTRIA YOU'RE MAKING IS SUFFERING UNDERNEATH? YOU CAN'T FORCE PONIES TO BE HAPPY!" The Nightmare implored.

"... if you showed me anything Cadence, yes, you can."

Dragon Queen Rarity laughed atop her literal mountain of jewels, with her consort Spike at her side as her dragons gave her love and the pathetic ponies delivered pile after pile of treasure to her-

ENOUGH!!!! IF YOU'VE GOT SOMETHIN' IMPORTANT TA SHOW ME THEN SHOW ME! IF NOT THEN JUST KILL ME! BUT STOP WITH THESE HORSEAPPLES!

"Who's a silly pony? Who's a silly pony! Who is? I am! Applejack!" She cheered doing a forehoof-stand which made her skirt fall 'up.' Rarity blushed and dropped her milk shake but Big Mac caught it with his hoof.

"Thank you darling, I just had this dress dry cleaned," said the Element of Generosity.

"No prob," said the handsome Element of Honesty. "But please Applejack a little shame."

"Come on! This is party!" Smiled the Element of Laughter sitting on the reinforced table and (thankfully) straightening out her dress.

"She's got a point," the group of friends turned to the sarcastic goth Pinkamena just in time to see her crack a smile. "It's about as big a party you can get."

"All the more reason to act in a mature and refined manner and-AAAAH!" Rarity yelped as an ice cube was dropped down her back. She jumped two feet in the air. Big Mac caught her.

"Applejack!"

"Sorry! Must have slipped!" Applejack grinned, getting a few chuckles from those whose names weren't Rarity.

Trixie was working her tricks on stage up to eleven now that she didn't have to pass them off as simple stage magic. Twilight had to politely ask her to step down after she went six minutes over time.

"But Twilight! At least these Earth Ponies shall see the true power and greatness that is Trixie!"

"They -have- been seeing it Trixie, but reserved the slot after you and are getting testy."

"So?"

"And so are their fans."

"So?"

"Who here happen to out number your fans, regardless of how big a role you played in all this, and many of whom are members of the bazooka club."

"... Trixie will step down now."

"Good girl." The Element of Magic smiled and patted the other unicorn on the head.

"Hey Trixie."

"Yeesss-SPIKE?" Trixie said with a hint of venom in her voice.

"Look, I'm sorry I accused you before of stabbing us in the back when the elements were stolen."

"Stolen by your mother since dragons didn't like the idea of 'ponies united'."

Spike fidgeted with his tuxedo, "Er, yeah. Trixie, the point is, I was a jerk to you before, and you act full of yourself but-"

Trixie growled.

"-but you didn't deserve the way I treated you. Your friends with Twilight, and so am I, so, please-" He presented a bouquet of flowers. "-friends?"

"Trixie never turns down a bouquet from a handsome gentleman."

"Did you just call me handsome?"

While Twilight and co had faced the dragon, unicorn, and pegasus elders, Trixie and Pinkamena (with some help from Trixie's mother, whose expertise came in quite handy) had blown up the Stallions In Black's Base.

Pinkamena's split pony-personalities did have their advantages (like one remembering what the other didn't, with the added bonus of eventually convincing the Stallions In Black that the goth was somehow immune to their spell, which had the extra benefit of causing a bit of a panic).

This was after Trixie had hit them with their own copied-memory erasure spell (while screaming 'how do you like it?!' at the top of her lungs, along with a few words no one dared repeat).

Pinkamena told the S.I.B. they were all ice-cream sellers after Trixie got a little TOO vindictive, telling them that they all liked to hit their heads against walls and other pet commands (though Pinkamena, or one of her personalities found 'you all like to pretend your chickens' quite hysterical). "What next? I know! Ahem, you all like to chew off your own-" Pinkamena bumped her.

"That's enough."

"Bastards made my Earth Pony brothers and father forget I and my mother ever existed. Twigs get what they earn!"

No one pressed charges since the S. I. B.s 'did not exist.' In light of recent events, few were willing to defend them anyway, and what ones who escaped were silently arrested for crimes against ponykind to avoid public outcry.

Back in the festive here and now Rainbow Dash zipped about the ceiling recounting her own part in things, "And so I said to that stuffy unicorn elder, 'So we're keeping Earth Ponies in the dark about Unicorns and Pegasi because?!' And the old fart said, 'Because they would try to destroy us all if they did!' And I was like 'We outnumber them two to one! Heck, they don't even HAVE an army! And how much effort and magic do we dump into keeping Earth Ponies as sheep?' And he spat back 'As much as it takes!'

"And that's when I introduced 'em to Gilda! Would you believe it?! The old unicorn couldn't believe that Pegasi and Griffins had been keeping Griffins secret from unicorns and Earth Ponies! Same way dragons had been keeping themselves secret from all ponies until Twilight found Spike's egg! And I won't get started the colors he turned when I told'em about the Alicorns in orbit! I thought he was going to have a heart attack! Put'em in their place when they found out they weren't the only ones pulling wool over another people's eyes!"

The Element of Loyalty continued to recount their epic adventure of tearing down the outdated web of illusions and lies that layers upon layers of ponies and others had kept in place in the name prejudice, paranoia, and fear of change. "AND YOU CAN'T TELL ME THAT RAINBOW ACROSS THE ENTIRE PLANET WASN'T AWESOME! All the illusion magic placed around the world gone like POOF! And suddenly the world's twenty percent cooler!"

"So ..." Lickety Split asked in awe, "Those wings are really real?"

Fluttershy nodded meekly as she sat in the corner. She didn't like the new attention. But it was a relief to finally be able to show her wings and not have to come up with inane and strange excuses on the spot when the illusion spell failed or somepony got too curious. Like that time she had come up with the disease 'back mumps' when her wings opened under her blouse. "Yes."

"I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT!" Lickety Split cheered hopping up and down. "Wanna go steady?"

"Uh, okay?"

"ALRIGHT!" He kissed her, the Element of Kindness fainted.

Applejack laughed at the joke. No one had expected a nerd, a jock, a wallflower, a high school prima donna, Ponyville High's Most Eligible Bachelor, and the class clown to end two thousand years of keeping Earth Ponies ignorant to two-thirds of the rest of the planet, as well as the Unicorns and Earth Ponies being ignorant of the Griffins, and everypony being ignorant of the dragons!

Her brother of course had been the one to say how simply WRONG it was to keep Earth Ponies fearful and ignorant, when the excuse for keeping them fearful and ignorant was that 'Earth ponies are fearful and ignorant!' She found that kind of funny to be honest, but more because of how ridiculous the whole situation had been. It was like one of those bad jokes that was so rotten it was funny again.

Pinkamena had come on board near the end, and while she hadn't had an Element, had still been an irreplaceable ally when it came to dealing with the S.I.B.

The two Apples with Rainbow Dash, Twilight, Spike, Trixie, (and with some coaxing Rarity and Fluttershy) had raised the tattered banner of truth, like a bunch of other groups over the last two thousand years, but six magic necklaces proved that the three races of ponies were MEANT to be together that only the three tribes together could unlock.

When AJ finally got home for a break from the days long celebration, Applebloom was still with Scoots and Sweetie Belle, both happy they no longer had to hide what they were from their best friend.

Diamond Tiara was still in her closet ranting about 'invaders from Mars.' Thankfully Pegasi and Unicorns had assimilated so much with Earth Ponies anyway, for most ponies it was more shocking than terrifying. After some initial feelings of betrayal, friendships won out in most cases.

A warm shower later, AJ looked at her Element of Laughter and put it around her neck and laughed as she struck a pose in the mirror naked. She wasn't one of those crazy closet nudists, but she wasn't ashamed of herself either.

She didn't know in the next room her brother was looking in his bedroom mirror holding his own Element of Harmony in hoof and his other on the glass. Wondering what new world he and his friends ushered in.

All will accept the truth. No one will deny the truth. All lies and illusion will be destroyed!

"Huh?" Big Mac startled as a shady Alicorn with green eyes formed in the mirror as it began to ripple. His hoof sank in, and pulled in the more he tried to pull out.

All truths, all version of me, come to me. There will be nowhere for the liars to hide.

Big Mac yelled in alarm.

Applejack reacted and barged into her brother's room covering herself with a towel. She saw him being pulled into the mirror, she grabbed hold of him, but was only pulled in as well, the towel being lost, leaving only her Element of Laughter around her neck.

Applejack had seen enough Neighponese anime to know what was coming next, "Dang Ah'm goin' into another universe naked?!"

++++

The young AJ was the last to leave the funeral. The hat protected the bandage on her face from the rain (the pegasi apparently had a tradition of making it rain on final farewells). The hat always made her feel adult before, now it made her feel childish.

"Ah promise Applebloom, Ah promise, Ah'll stay loyal and true to everypony else. I won't let this happen again if Ah can ever help it with anypony."
-
"Yer leavin' the farm?!" Granny Smith gasped.

"Follow yer heart AJ." Big Mac said, putting a hoof on Granny Smith's should to reassure her.

-
"Welcome to the Day Guard Cadet."

"Yer welcome."
-
"Hey big brother."

"Whoa! AJ is that you?! You look dang magnificent!"

"Ya too big brother!"

"Whatcha doin' back in Ponyville?"

"The Princess wants me to be bodyguard to her prize pupil here." She put a hoof around Twilight Sparkle's shoulder, "And besides, not like Ah'm gonna miss the Family Reunion, right?"
-
"We are the shadow guard, we offer you a position in our ranks as leader, and ultimate power, powerful enough to protect all of Equestria. Merely swear yourself to Nightmare Moon."

"Applejack? APPLEJACK!" Big Mac called out in the fog.

AJ heard her brother and his voice cut through the treacherous promises.
-
AJ spoke to the Element of Kindness, "Fluttershy, Dash and Gilda DESERVE each other, they're both jerks."

"NO!" Fluttershy snapped, "There IS good in her! And she IS my friend! And I'm not letting her twist into something ugly! I won't abandon her!"

The Element of Loyalty thought this over, wouldn't she be the same way if she were in Shy's place? "Whao then, count me in, we'll get 'er out of that gang."
-
All truths, all version of me, come to me. There will be nowhere for the liars to hide.

Big Mac's eyes turned swirlie as he followed the invisible source of the familiar, but enticing voice.

AJ didn't even hesitate to follow her brother through the rippling mirror.

++++

"It's a miracle you survived that accident."

The filly smiled, "Thanks doc, can ya get me outta here, Ah have buckin' to do."

"I'm sorry... You won't be doing any bucking with that injury... ever again."

"W-WHAT?! U-USE YOUR magic or s-something!"

"I'm sorry. I'm a doctor, not a miracle worker. The techniques to repair this kind of damage simply don't exist yet. Medical magic is ten or twenty years away from that."

"T-That's ... that's not fair."

"I'm sorry."
-
"What's this thing?"

"It's called a book."

"I don't want it."

"But you need it."

"It won't make my leg better."

"But it might make you better."
-
"You got any more books from the library today big brother?"

"A few more actually. Ya know the librarian is lookin' to retire in a few years."

"Really?"
-
"We're sorry. While you are within the proper age range and your grades are all above average, the fact remains this is a good for gifted UNICORNS. As an Earth Pony you simply don't apply."
-
"AJ, this idea of yers is just plain stupid."

"Ah gotta try."

"No pony's gonna be fooled by that there fake horn. And ya can't do the floaty stuff!"

"Ah'll think of somethin'."
-
"All right then ... 'Magica De Apple?' Since you seem SO eager, it's simple, hatch this dragon egg as your entrance examine."

What? That wasn't on any of the lists for entry tests! She was sure she hid her limp! They had to be onto her! Well! She had to try. Earth pony magic was life right? Then she could help this life along!

She had to! She had to . . she had to prove ... she was worth something ...

KAAAA-BOOOM!
-
The glowing spell circle materialized around AJ's hoof as the spell runes in her mind formed, sending out the spell, turning the rock into a very large mustache. "HA! Beat that!"

"Ya know AJ." Spike said checking off another spell done. "Some of the unicorns hate your guts."

"Ah know. Ah don't care. Not as long as Ah have you, mah family, and teach'."
-
Unlike many unicorns at Celestia's school, Twilight hadn't cared about AJ's race, and while never deep friends, Twilight had proven an invaluable source of information to the Element of Magic again and again. Twilight may not have been a Element of Harmony herself, but she was happy with her books rather than going on dangerous adventures.

When the show Pony Trixie had arrived in town and had been outdone by an EARTH PONY, it had driven her pride and need to hold her false self image to pathological levels. This had turned her into a useful pawn for Discord, and later Queen Chrysalis, the blue unicorn seemingly more insane each encounter. Their fourth confrontation had left the blue unicorn so broken she couldn't seem to understand she had lost. The unicorn's four sister came to take her into their care. AJ thought she finally understood where her enemy had been coming from seeing the identical ponies.

AJ sat next to her brother as Princess Luna explained the alternate universes to her. And Big Mac's need to confront the truth of himself and reality if he was going to stay sane when this reality separated from the heart world. The Element of Magic would act as a stabilizer. (Celestia had thought of it in the precious extra time she had when the invading army of Trolls decided on peaceful negotiations for the betterment of their people instead of fighting to the last troll to uphold their honor.)

Both ponies looked into the mirror, and into Big Mac's eyes.

Ah'm drownin'! Burnin'! Eatin' me alive! Just end it! Ya hate me too so just end it!

Silver. Everywhere quicksilver. Like mirrors. White light.

Ah break the surface! Gag out that awful awful Truth! Breathe in air! Sweet air! Ah think. I'm risin' out! Ah think. Everythin's so bright. Wait a sec'. Feels like Ah'm being pulled out by somethin'. Wait! Gravity! I'm falling out! What crazy horseapples is this?! Whoa-whoa-whoooooooaaaa!

Ah'm falling away from a whole sea of that silver slime? Farther, farther away. This here's crazy!

Ah tumble around and Ah'm staring at ah big white nothin'! How am Ah fallin' if there's nowhere fer me to fall to-?!

Oh what the heck Ah'm just gonna scream!!!

This is silly!

AND WHERE IS THAT STUPID MUSIC COMING FROM-!?

"Who's a silly pony?"

"Not me!"

SPLAT!

Ya think creepy white voids would be a hay lot softer. Ugh.

That hurt a lot less than last time I fell that far.

Okay. Ah went splat. So Ah gotta be on somethin' right? So why does it feel like Ah'm laying on less than air?

Ah get to mah hooves.

White everywhere, the horizon, far out in the distance, but there's not a trace of fog or mist here. The white seems like light, there ain't no shadows or secrets here. Ah couldn't feel any illusions, any lies, this place was as real as meh. And Ah felt more naked than naked.

Ah looked around at nothin', but it didn't feel like nothin', it felt like... Ah don't rightly know what. There's somethin' behind me... a little black dot. Ah trotted towards it but it didn't get any closer. Ah looked the opposite way and Ah saw, well, it was a point that looked 'whiter than white,' a brightness stronger than the light 'round it. Ah don't know! Ah ain't no poet! And Ah'm havein' trouble just thinking of words to describe this place as it is! It was as far away and not movin' as the black dot.

"Howdy big sister!"

"Applebloom-?!" She just, just, Ah blinked and there she was!

She looked... solid, and no glowin'. Ah backed up a bit. She frowned a bit.

"Applebloom? But... but how did ya get here?"

"Get with the program, big sister! Ah'm dead! Ah can be anywhere Ah want!"

"Ah-When Ah last say ya, when ... when ya died, yer were a mare. Now yer a filly?"

"Ya didn't really pay attention to the last thing Ah said, did ya? Ah don't have time to explain to yah what it's like bein' dead, but it actually comes with a couple perks."

"Applebloom, what WAS all that?"

"What was what?"

"That crazy picture show showin' stuff that never happened!"

"Oh ya mean the The Pool Of All Truths. Yeah, that's what the Pool does: it shows ya a bunch of stuff."

"Showed me a bunch of nonsense ya mean!"

She sighed. "Applejack ... we all make choices, and what choices we make, and everypony else makes, decide how the world is. Ah got shown that there are a zillion other ponies named Applebloom makin' lots of different choices from me after Ah died. Some even made choices Ah never got the chance to make. But none are exactly alike. What did ya see?"

"Like Ah said! Stuff that never happened!"

"Only stuff that never happened for ya."

"How'd YEW know?! Were ya watching me the whole time?!"

"Nope! Ah ain't got a CLUE what it showed ya. Ah just know that whatever ya DID see was truth... just not THIS world's truth."

"THEN WAS THERE A ---POINT--- TA THAT?!" Yes Ah was mad!

Applebloom sighed. "Applejack. After all yer centuries of lying ta yerself 'n' others, ya needed ta see the Truth before we could talk proper. Ya an' me. It was the best for ya. Ya needed to see what'cha doin' ain't the ONLY choice."

"Alright. Fine. BUT HOW IN BUCKING TARTARUS DO AH GO FROM DROWNIN' IN A POOL OF SILVER GUNK TO BEIN' IN A BLANK WHITE NOWHERE?!"

"Applejack, Ah know yer upset but-"

"YA buckin' bet Ah'm upset! Ya go and leave me alone! Demand Ah let ya die! Then when Ah finally see ya again, ya mess with mah head, lure me to some place Ah can't stand, scare me to pieces, then PUSH ME into a well of somethin' Ah hate? Ya expect a 'thank ya'?!"

Silent tears came down Applebloom's face.

"Ah was tryin' ta help. Crossin' over ain't some train station ya can just take round trips on, big sister. The livin' and spirit worlds aren't some neighborin' houses ya can just jump a fence ta visit yer friends. Them's the rules. Ya don't know WHAT Ah had to go through ta arrange THIS intervention."

"Let's say... jest for the sake a' argument, that yer right, and Ah NEEDED to take a swim in that horrible, horrible, Truth. Couldn't you've done it sooner? Like, say, when ya were still alive... undead... whatever?!"

"It wasn't until AFTER Ah died fer good that Ah even LEARNED this here pool existed at all!"

"Okay, fine! But that was five-hundred years ago! Why wait THAT long?"

"It wouldn't have made any difference before."

"Yeah, right!"

"No, big sister. It wouldn't have. If this here had happened any earlier for ya, ya'd still have yer head buried in the sand. And ya'd have been thinkin' more 'bout me than everypony else."

"There is no 'everypony else.' Ah told ya, they're all as good as dead."

Applebloom frowned. "Liar."

It felt like Ah got hit by ah lance by that one. It ain't make no sense. An' no good comes of thinkin' 'bout things that ain't make no sense. Gets ya nowhere in Master's world.

"Applebloom, WHERE are we? Am Ah dead?"

"No. Ya ain't dead, and this ain't the Afterlife. What we're standing in limbo between life and death," Applebloom said calmly.

"No need to say it all grim and darkly," Ah remarked sarcastically.

"Ah've had eternity to get used to stuff like this."

"Wha? But it hasn't BEEN eternity since you died!" Was Ah really debating Alicorn-fearin' metaphysics with mah dead little sister?

"'Time' don't exactly work the way yer used ta in the hereafter."

"Then how does it work?"

"Sorta like walkin' along a river. Ya walk along, and the river rushes by. Ah can't explain it." She looked like somepony trying to figure out how to tell a blind pony what colors were like.

"That's hogwash!"

"Applejack, we're drifting WAY off-course. This ain't what Ah brought ya here ta 'talk 'bout."

"Brought me here? Ya pushed me!"

"Applejack ... please."

"Applebloom, ya pushed me into the worst nasty thing this here world has ever put together! Truth!"

'Bloom replied all sad and distant-like. "...Ah love ya. THAT'S the truth. Is that so bad?"

Ah was startled a little. Then Ah sighed and shook mah head. "Applebloom, ya remember what happened to yer pet mouse, Mr. Cheese, when ya were just starin' ta go to school?"

"... Yeah."

"Big Mac told ya that Mr. Cheese went and joined the circus. Me? Ah went an' told ya Opalescence's old ma ate it! And Ma gave ME the spankin'! And what did ya do?"

" ...Ah tried to perform surgery on Opal's ma to cut Mr. Cheese out."

"YA SEE?! That's what Truth does to ya! But Ah ignored the lesson till Master came along! It ain't been easy! It's been torture! But at least the six of us are still together!"

"So they ain't as 'good as dead?'"

"Ah-Ah-ah! Agh! Don't go contradicting yer elders, missy!"

"Sis, what part of 'time ain't king in the afterlife' didn't yah get?"

"Ah don't GET ya, Applebloom! what's the POINT of ya bringin' me here? What's the POINT of us talkin' here and not someplace else? What was the point of TORTURING me?!"

"If You Paid Attention To What Appleboom Was Saying, You Would Know The Answer Already, Applejack."

Huh?

Did everything just popped into existence 'round here?

There was an Alicorn stallion behind Applebloom. There was such a thing as a male Alicorn? Ah figured they were ALL girls. Wait, he's a foal, now he's a colt, wait, yes a foal, not a stallion, ugh! Ah can't keep track! It ain't in a cycle. It ain't really shifting, Ah just, Ah just can't tell.

When he's standing next ta 'Bloom, Ah'm sure he's just a colt, but when he starts talkin' to me, Ah'm sure he's a stallion. The heck?

Lookin' at 'im, it's like he's a window, like he's a night sky, so many stars, but they ain't just white. There's yellow with a little pink, a pink one with a little darker pink, a red one with bits of orange, so many different colored stars balancing out to a white light inside 'im, but are they really inside 'im? They all look so far away. His wings are folded. His horn, Ah can see the base and the tip, but when Ah try to follow one to the other Ah just keep on goin' forever. Again, Ah ask: the heck?!

So yeah, an Alicon stallion lookin' like a cut out of a night sky with rainbow-colored stars. Simple. But . . . it was like he was a million miles away and right next to me at the same time. Ah felt smaller than an ant next to 'im, but he didn't look THAT big... and come ta think of it, with him by my side, Ah was sure my life had more meanin' and worth than ever. This was makin' mah head hurt! And the way light reflected off him, it was more like everything was a reflection of him! Okay. I'm done now tryin' to describe this guy! Mah first word to this guy?

"Who are ya?"

"My 'Name' Does Not Translate Properly Into Sounds, Applejack. But There Are Many Approximations: 'He Who Is All And All Is Him', 'The Universe', 'Father Of All Alicorns', 'The Fifth Concept,' 'The Hierophant', 'Wisdom,' 'Sanity,' 'The Perfect Existence,' 'Reality,' 'The Spirit World."

"Erm. Okay, So... So WHAT are ya?"

"Who And What I Am Are One And The Same. I Am Not Whatever You Want To Me To Be. Nor Am I What You Decide I Am... As Others Have Erroneously Concluded.

"Please Pay Attention, Abigail. You Were Once One Of My Most Devoted Children, One Of The Ones Who Strove Hardest To Reach For My Ideal, Applejack."

Ah frowned at this big pony. "That ain't mah name no more. Ah'm a liar! Ah'm Liarjack!"

"Is A Liar All You Are, Then? You Are Not A Big Sister? You Are Not A Life? You Are Not An Apple? You Are Not A Friend To Your Friends?"

"Ah said mah friends are as good as dead."

"Then Why Do You Comfort Rainbow Dash? Why Do You Tell Twilight The Least Unpleasant Version Of Things? Why Do You Play Along With Rarity's Fantasies That You Know Make Her Happy? Why Have You Protected Angry Pie's Apprentices As Fiercely As She Does? Why Whisper Lullabies To Fluttercruel In Her Sleep?"

"SHUDDUP!"

"You Were Born Clinging To My Ideal As Fervently As You Clung To The Love Of Your Family. But When Discordance Showed You The Other Side Of Truth, You Shunned That Ideal As Ardently As You Had Once Embraced It. And So Discordance's Taint Twisted Your Heart Until You Came To Believe You Had Transformed Into A Completely Different Individual Altogether, Dear Applejack."

"If the truth make yer heart ache, perhaps a lie is easier to take."

"You Have Taken Those Words, That Truth, And Made Them Your Mantra. The New Center Of Your Whole Sense Of Morality. You Distort Every Truth You Fear Might Cause Anyone Any Fraction Of Pain Or Suffering."

"Lies are often kinder than truth, and Ah'd rather tell a lie than see ponies hurt! So If yer all 'bout truth and Ah'm all about lyin' then ya can just kill me! Cause Ah ain't bein' chummy with somethin' so cruel again!"

"What Purpose Would That Serve? The Element You Carry Is Part Of Freedom Of Will. All Things Are Defined By The Context They Happen In. Without Context, They Are Neither Good Nor Evil. Do Not Confuse The Subjectively With the Objectively. Lying To A Person You Stole An Apple From Is Not The Same As Lying To A Dangerous Burglar That Your Pet Is A Deadly Attack Dog. Both Are Lies. But They Are Not The Same."

"WHA? Dangnabbit ya agree with me?!"

"He's really surprisin' like that," Applebloom said reminding me she was still here. She actually rubbed herself against the Alicorn's leg. Dang. She looked so, so happy. And not like Rarity's fantasy happiness or how Pinkie used ta be. She looked so fully happy... So ... whole.

"Truths Can Be Hurtful. Truths Can Be Cruel. Truths Can Bring Pain.

"If You Found Out A Hero Who Died Five Hundred Years Ago, Who Helped Found Your Hometown, Was Really An Unrepentant Pirate.

"Would You Uphold The Fiction Of A Selfless Hero, For The Sake Of Inspiring Others To Aspire To Selfless Heroism?"

"YES!" I snapped planting all fours firmly on the ground, feelin' ready for a fight but he didn't move an inch.

"If You Were An Earth Pony Who Wanted To Prove She Could Learn Spell Magic As Well Any Unicorn.

"Would You Hide What You Were So You Could Be Given The Chance?"

"YES!"

"Would You Maintain The Deception Forever?

"So No Earth Pony Would Know That The Unicorn Who Had Done So Much Was Really One Of Them And That They Too Could Accomplish So Much?"

Ah was startled. "Ah, uh-"

"If You Lived Where It Was Law For All Earth Ponies To Pretend To Be Unicorns And Pretend Earth Ponies Never Existed:

"Would You Continue To Pretend Forever? No Matter How Much It Killed So Many Earth Ponies Inside That They Could Never Share Their True Selves With The Unicorns They Loved Or Were Friends With, Applejack?"

I shuddered. When did this guy get so big? Nah...he'd always been big, just now he looked it. Right?

"If You Had Learned Skills That Could Help Your Close Family: Would You Still Pretend You Didn't Feel A Thing Except Relief When Leaving Your Aunt And Uncle?"

I felt better. "Of course!"

"And Would You Hide The Talents You Had Learned From Your Close Family? Even If They Would Become Destitute And Homeless Without Those Talents? Because It Would Mean Showing That A Part Of Yourself Had Changed And You Were No Longer The Exact Same Applejack They Knew?"

Mah stomach didn't feel so good. "Ah...Ah don't know."

"Is It Really Deception You Have Embraced All This Time, Applejack?"

"Yes!"

"Or Has It Been Kindness Towards All Others?"

Mah legs shuddered. "All ponies look away from PART of the truth, we all pretend SOME of it isn't there. It's how we all live!"

"After A Thousand Years I Ask Of You: Haven't You Learned There Are Always Exceptions?"

Ah really didn't like how this guy was makin' me feel. And that ain't no lie.

"Exceptions don't change the rules!"

"Big sister." Applebloom looked at me, pleadingly. "When you said you love me, was that a lie? That ya loved big brother? That mom and dad loved us? That Granny Smith loved us? Is that Ah love ya a lie? Are all truths completely awful?"

Dang that hurt! But, "Most are!"

"No they're not!"

"The world was pain even before ponies ever heard of Master, or Nightmare Moon, or Grogar! Ponies have always lied to themselves to get by day by day: that if they work hard enough, if they don't give up, if they just believe in themselves, that things will turn out alright! But nine times outta time their choices don't mean squat!" Thunder boomed.

The Alicorn didn't flinch.

" . . . The World Is Far More Complex Than Something As Simplistic As Pain, Applejack. Some View The World As A Chessboard: Simple Black And White Squares Of What Is Right And Wrong. Others Think The World Is A Rainbow Of Gray, With No Truly 'Wrong' Or Truly 'Right' Decisions. They Are Both Wrong.

"The World Is A Rorschach. Ever Shifting, Ever Moving, Who Is In The Right And Who Is In The Wrong, Who Is The Hero And Who Is The Villain Always Changing. The 'Black' And 'White' Never Meld Into Gray, But Rather Twist Around Each Other In A Endless Dance.

"What You Think Is 'Black And 'White' Changes With Perspective, But The Pattern Itself Does Not Submit Itself To Your Preferences.

"A Sin Does Not Become A Good Deed Simply Because The Wrongdoer Has Convinced Herself Her Actions Are Virtuous. And No Choice Is Without Meaning. Simply Consider Your Journey Here To Understand That. Listen, Applejack, For The Sake Of Those Who Love You, Listen."

"Ah ain't never becoming the element of truth again. Ya can forget it."

"When Did I Say I Wished You To?"

"Say wha-?!" Okay I'm sick of bein' late to the party now!

"You Embraced One Absolute: But Lied To Yourself More Than Once. Then When That Absolute Was Proven False, You Embraced Another Absolute: But Consistently Told The Truth When It Served The Happiness Of Others.

"You Have Been A Servant Of Sin. But Also You Have Been Kind And Generous."

"With Master rulin' the world, it's the best Ah can do. Master rules, everythin' else drools. That's the truth of everything."

"Celestia And Luna Negated Discordance Before. You Know He Is Not Infallible Nor Invincible Nor All Knowing. The Greatest Lie You Have Told Is The One To Yourself: That He Is Impossible To Defeat. Because You're Scared That If You Lose, He Will Make Things Even Worse For Those You Care For."

Mah lip quivered. "At least where Ah am Ah can do some good for 'em!"

"Is That All You Want? For Those You Still Love? Is That All They Want? Are You Happy? Are They Happy?"

"STOPIT!" Dang, Ah was cryin' now! "Ah don't want anythin' ta to do with ya!"

Ah turn an' run. Ah skid ta a halt. That tiny black dot ain't so tiny no more. It's like the jaw of an dragon. All Ah can feel from it is nothin', and Ah mean nothin'.

Shadows, shadow of ponies, of dragons, of zebras, and a whole bunch of other folk. They came out of the black hole, tumbling over each other, pushing against each other like a mob. Right towards me.

"Applejack! Come inside quick!"

Ah turn and see Applebloom. 'Except she's INSIDE the Alicorn, who's grown to the size of an Ursa Major now. His wings are open, same trick as with his horn, Ah can see the ends, but when Ah try to follow the edge, it goes on forever. The front space between his front legs and his neck level with her. There was a slight glimmer to her. Like she was on the other side of a body of water or somethin'.

Ah look back at the shadows, they look at me hungry like. They're so cold. Ah can feel their coldness all the way from here. They're surrounding me almost like an enormous blob they're so many.

Enter into the Alicorn? But... all his Truth-talk... Ah wasn't gonna be part of somethin' so cruel again. Didn't Ah promise?

"Please~!" 'Bloom begged.

Applebloom. Ah race fer her, Ah out run them shadows like nothin'.

Ah reach the Alicorn an' ... ah zillion electric shocks, mah hoof touchin' molten lava, Ah don't how to describe but, it hurt so bad. Ah jerked back.

The big Alicorn looked down at me. Before, his voice and eyes were all even before, now they were plain sad. It reminded me of Pa when he got called after Ah got in a fight at school.

"I Am So Truly Sorry, Applejack. But You Are Holding Onto Too Many Of Your Sins. You Are Covered In Too Many Weights To Come Inside."

Ah suddenly could feel somethin' all over me.

Ah looked at mahself.

There were little purple blobs, with eyes lookin' at me, gigglin', burblin', grinnin' at me. They were all over me!

"Suspended?! That skinny colt was lucky all Ah gave 'em was a broken nose for takin' mah lunch apples!"

"Write a letter? To Aunt and Uncle Orange? Ha. Ah bet they just bought themselves some new fancy clothes and forgot Ah ever came to live with'em."

"Unicorn magic isn't work! It's a trick! An easy way out! They don't have to earn it!"

"Ah was talkin' to no pony!"

"HA-HA!" Nice way fer 'Shy to bump ya Pinkie!

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty! I couldn't just..."

"Everything was rigidly frozen with order before Master Discord took control. Nothing and no one ever changed. The world was caught in a predictable monotone cycle."

"It's okay Twili, ya know ya can trust me to help ya defeat- MASTER DISCORD SHE'S RIGHT HERE!"

"NO!" Ah tried to get them off but they just stuck to mah hooves and slimed up mah legs.

The shadows grabbed me. Ah felt mah legs go numb. They were draggin' me along. Out of the white space, and inta the dark...inta the notin'.

"APPLEJACK!!!" Ah heard some filly shout ...

++++

Applebloom looked in dismay as the shadows of existence dragged Applejack into the darkness. 'AJ's havin' a heart attack in the livin' world by now,' She thought.

After Applejack was dragged into the hole, the hole shrank down to nothing. A brief icy wind blew through the void.

"But, this ain't how it was supposed to go. This was supposed to HELP her, Ah ... Ah didn't mean to, I didn't plan to . . . this wasn't . . ."

"This Is Not What You Intended. This Was Not What You Desired. Nor Is It What I Desire. But No Pony Can Ever Be Saved Unless They Wish To Be Saved. That Is Truth."

Applebloom shuddered. "Ah know that ... now."

"It Would Appear That Applejack Had To Pay The Price For Your Lesson. And-"

"HI-YA!" A shadow of existence was knocked sailing into the void landing head first. Like a jammed barn door being bucked in, the hole cracked back open again. "AAAAAAGGGGHHH!" Applejack snarled, the shadow covering her like a herd of hoofball tacklers.

"-Appearances Can Be Deceiving." I smiled lightly. "You Underestimate How Much She Loves You."

"APPLEBLOOM!" Applejack marched out of the black hole, the shadows holding onto her, and onto each other like tar stretching all the way back to the black hole.

"Applejack!" Applebloom tried to push her way back out of me.

"Appleboom Ah'm sorry! Ah never meant to be mean or cruel! Please forgive me, little sister!"

Applejack's muscles bulged as she dragged the entire mass of shadows along with her back towards me. More being pulled out of the black hole trying to pull her back in. The purple blobs on Applejack's body poking and wailing.

"Applebloom, just ya wait! Ah'm gettin' this gunk off! Then Ah'm coming ta join ya! Just ya wait! An' we'll be together! All of us! Ah promise! Just wait a bit longer! Ya big sister promises!"

Applebloom blinked and she made a snap decision. Golden light sparkled around her for a moment before a gold necklace formed around her neck. In the center was a red gem shaped like a hammer crossed with an open-ended wrench.

The hoard was beginning to gain strength as AJ's advance slowed.

Using her hooves like ponies of the Second Age could, Applebloom undid her necklace and reached through My body as if I were liquid.

AJ reached out her hoof, slowly now, with determination like iron. Their hooves almost touching...

Applebloom slapped her Element of Harmony into Applejack's out stretched hoof. AJ's mouth opened in wonder.

Applebloom smiled. "Ah forgive ya, Abigail. Ah'll be waitin' for ya. Now ya take good care of that now, ya hear?"

A duplicate appeared around Applebloom's neck. The sisters' love increased, thus defying Entropy and her grasping shadows. And makes My Bride and I proud.

The gem on Applejack's hoof shifted shape to that of an orange Apple.

"Applebloom ..." AJ's eyes widened. "Right, Ah promise! Second chances like this don't come around every day, and Ah intend to make the best of it! So wait fer me! Cause Ah'm joining you someday, you and the Big Male Alicorn! YA HEAR? Save a space fer me next ta Lance and Swordbloom cause Ah'm gettin' in!"

"How do Ah know yer not just sayin' that?"

Applejack smiled. "An' disappoint mah sister later? What's the point of sayin' a lie or the truth if all it does is hurt somepony? What's the point of holdin' back the truth if it helps somepony?"

"You Did It Applejack! That Is The Right Answer!" I cheered.

Somewhere an orange black crystal shaped like an apple turned right side up.

The horde of shadows pulling back Applejack, broke in two like a cane sugar sculpture. The shadows still holding onto her scattered like pepper in soapy water. All the shadows fell back into the black hole like gravity had gone sideways to them.

One shadow fluttered her purple wings holding off falling away for a few spare moments. "Don't think Thi- i- over Applejack! --e d-y you'll ente- Her Nothingness Entropy, a-d we will be wai-in- for you!"

AJ spoke calmly and breathlessly to the shadow of existence, "Sorry, but that ain't never happin'."

The shadow fell back into the black hole.

Applejack slowly breathed out, she looked at the treasure in her hooves. She understood. "Kindness," she whispered.

She gazed up at me. "Yah couldn't have just told meh from the start!"

"If I Had Just Told You, You Would Have Treated It As Nothing More Than A Lecture."

"Ah guess yah got a point there," she replied humbled looking at her sister.

"You're Free! Go On Home!" I said, and so it would be.

Gravity seemed to reverse for Applejack as she slowly began falling 'upwards.'

"Applebloom! See you later!"

"I know!" Applebloom smiled.

Applejack began to float back towards The Truth.

++++

Oh. Ya wanna know what happened next? No biggie. Ah met the laughin' version of me. We talked for a bit. Ah lied through mah teeth pretending Equestria was still the world it was before Discord showed up. Really got her hopes and imagination goin'. She asked meh if Sea Ponies and Flutterponies were real, cause she and her friends were planning to go lookin' for em next to bring 'em back together with the other tribes. Ah said they were in my world, didn't have the heart to tell her how come they did, just they were. She looked so excited. Ah hope she finds 'em. We had lotta good laughs and it's sure been awhile since Ah had'em that good!

We also teamed up with four more versions of me, each with an Element of Harmony (strangely, meh and my new friend seemed to be the only ones not covered in horseshoe marks), beat the hay outta a truth fixated Nightmare me, got a few sec's ta say how great the other way before everything went white. Got a nice tingly feelin' inside, cleared away some of mah sin. Meh.

Compared to seein' 'Bloom again, the rest just seems kinda a hoof note ta me. Ah should spent more of it huggin' 'er and less time yellin' at 'er. But dangit, let me tell ya, savin' the world? Been there done that. Seein' 'Bloom again? Ya can't put a price on that. Yeah Ah'm a silly pony.

Then Ah woke up in mah bed. Good as new.

"Oh come on! Of all the dirty, snake bellied, apple rustlin', lousy, low-down, cheats! Oh no! You are NOT gettin' away with that!" Ah yelled straight at the heavens.

Ah noticed a slight glow over mah heart. A light shaped like golden apple flickered fer just a moment, just long enough fer me ta know that Ah wasn't seeing things. A warm feelin' were Ah'd been cold fer a thousand years didn't go away. "Okay. Erm. Never mind. Okay. That's good. Ah gotcha."

Ah breathed in, then slowly breathed out. "Ah promise Applebloom. Ah promise." Ah found my trusty lasso and Pa's trusty hat. Then Ah thought. What the heck was Ah even thinkin'? Ah learned over the last thousand years that chargin' head first without thinkin' didn't get ya much of anywhere. What was Ah supposed ta do? What could Ah do? Ah said some fancy words. But was there anythin' behind'em?

Ah needed ta think. Ah took a walk 'round the castle. Cleaner than normal. The dust maids must be having a patty cake and hugging contest again.

Ah was kinda surprised at who Ah ran into.

"Angry Pie!"

"Outta my way!"

Omph!

Angry Pie sure didn't like ponies in her space even when they weren't laughin' at her, or thought they were laughin' at her. Yeah she skinned Gummy for laughing at her when he was 'bout the size of a bus from growin'. But Ah still think it's weird. Ah'm pretty sure that there gator wasn't even BUILT ta laugh! Ah never asked 'bout it. And Ah never known Angry Pie to take 'trophies' that was more Fluttercruel's gig. Ah doubt any of us will know the truth of what really happened.

Angry Pie threw her thoughts and feelings 'round like nopony's business. But what she didn't share she kept like her students, viciously protected and goodness help ya if try ta touch'em.

Ah remembered when somethin' like this happened before.

"Hey! Angry! Ah just wanna ... Ah wanna say: Remember when, when everything began in the maze? Ah'm sorry fer laughin' at ya. It wasn't kind."

She looked at me ready to kill. "You're SORRY-?! " Her front hooves came straight fer mah neck, Ah didn't move. "What right do you have to be-!" Her hooves stopped right in front of me, shaking, if she had fingers, they'd be twitchin'. Ah just let her look in my eyes so she'd know Ah weren't lyin'. "What gives you the right to-! How DARE YOU BE-! ... " She stopped. Turning around, and gave me a quick slap in the face with her tail. "You're not worth it."

She trotted the way she had been going before.

"Hey! Angry Pie," Ah called out.

"What?" She looked back at me like Ah was the world biggest pest.

"What do you think 'bout promises?"

That wasn't a question she was expectin'. Been a while since Ah saw anythin' but anger on that pink face.

After a bit she finally said, " ...Promises... should be kept."

And without even a goodbye she trotted along, that ticked off look back on her face.

Promises.

Apple Pie. Promises. The Apples of Sweet Rock Acres.

Ah made a PROMISE TO APPLEBLOOM to look after her family an' it's 'bout time Ah kept it the right way!

Ah'm done hidin' in lies. They work fer me, not the other way 'round. The Apple family. The Pie family.... little Apple Pie, who'd laughed. Ah'm there fer ya all.

And Master, ya watch out, yer done treatin' Mah family like toys. Watch out Master. Whatever sins yer up to right now. Enjoy'em while they last.

++++

Discord and Fluttercruel visited the hundredth village they had in the last few hours.

"Why are you doing this again?"

"Because it was a random idea, it's unexpected, and I feel like it," Discord said.

"You've done this ninety-nine times today already."

"So?" Discord wiggled his nose. Instantly all the dead puppies in the settlement were teleported out of the ground, resurrected, given full health and youth with instantaneous magic, and transported to their owners or their next of kin. Happy barking filled the town with foals laughing. Next Discord wiggled his eyebrows and candy (non-chocolate) and dog biscuits began to rain on the town.

Fluttercruel slowly shook her head in confusion. "This makes no sense."

"And doesn't it feel good to say that again?"

+++

Ah, for the first time in a thousand years, washed Pa's hat. Ah'd noticed my coat was a muted orange now, not dusty grey, and an old hat in gray dusty just didn't look right.

Ah know this much. The Alicorn was right. Ah'm free.

Episode 77: (Dark World) The Chapter That Had No Name

Pony POV Series
"Dark World" Part Eight
By Alex Warlorn

Twilight:

My Little Pony

Our world is lost in evil's sway.

My Little Pony

Heroes have fallen one by one
This truly is the darkest day.
So dark none can see the sun.

Cadence/Trixie/Twilight's Parents/Father of All Alicorns/Applebloom:

Fate turns by our choices.
Hope is something only we can make.
If we don't raise our voices.
We'll never see the daybreak.

Twilight:

There's a light in the distance.
The light of hope will reignite.

Applejack:

Ah have found my lost resistance.
And we will grab that light.

Twilight:

Tyrants will finally fall.
From tragedy

Applejack:

-From mahself-

Both:

We won't hide again.

No longer will we stall.
It's time for salvation to begin.

Cadence/Trixie/Twilight's Parents/Father of All Alicorns/Applebloom:

Fate turns by your choices.
Hope is something only you can make.
If you don't raise your voices...
You'll never see the daybreak.

Both:

Our world is lost in evil's sway.
But heroes will rise one by one.
Hope will light the way.
As the world awakes to greet the sun.

My Little Pony...

Friends before can be friends again.

This castle loved to play games with me, Twilight The Unicorn. That's the only explanation I can give for how twisted and labyrinthine its passages become, whenever I actually have somewhere I'm desperate to reach. I've passed the gum-ball pit three times now! As well as Fluttercruel's workshop... the giant Life-Sized Chessboard with its living clockwork pieces, the Infinite Hall of Despair, (pst, that didn't take long) The Hugs And Snuggles Playroom....

Cross the in castle bridge above the vortex of inverse-infinity and, "Oh hi, Ponythulu! Sorry. I don't think your cousin's in right now but I'll be sure to tell him you came to visit. Oh, and he said thank you for the tuxedo." He waves a few tentacles and back into the vortex of inverse-infinity he goes.

I wasn't ready to take the offensive. My immediate goal was to leave the castle within twenty-four-hours, and not come back until I was prepared to vanquish Lord Discord and save my friends' souls! This would require resources, planning... powerful allies, as well... my actions as Tragedy wasn't going to make that last part easy...

But before I left, there was one person I needed to rescue first. Someone I could never do without, no matter what. Who had been at my side since the beginning. Whatever the cost, I'll find you, Smarty Pants...

JUST KIDDING! HA HA! Sense of humor check! She's safe with my parents! Of course I mean Spike! He's my number one assistant, my little brother, and my son all in one go, and I'm breaking him out! For a thousand years while I was lost in darkness, he never stopped being my truehearted friend, even as I and my other friends wandered away from each other in the dark.

Celestia may have legally been his guardian but you can bet your flanks on that I took care of him! And I'm doing that now!

(And what then? What's the next step after you free Spike?)

I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. Painstaking preplanning is a complete waste of time against a foe like Mast... Discord. In fact, the more elaborate the
6 stratagem, the faster he's guaranteed to see straight through it... and then dismantle it. Even standing a snowball's chance against Discord requires the quick reflexes and improvisational flair of a sailor surviving a hurricane out at sea.

(Spike is unnecessary. Discord's extermination does not require him.)

I need Spike! He's my friend, my family.

(You're wasting time on foalish sentimentality! Spike may be loyal, yes, but what advantage can he offer you as comrade-in-arms?)

He's a giant DRAGON.

(A dragon who's functioned as Discord's favorite beast of burden for the past thousand years! Face facts! You might as WELL take Smarty Pants, for all the good it'll do against the draconequus! Stop wasting time already and leave this castle! Discord could come down on you at any moment and ruin everything!)

+++

"Space Invaders! Only You Can Save The Earth!"

The pair of space tanks blasted away wave after wave of the incoming alien horde, coming faster and faster as their numbers were blown away but one straw shot lightly grazed the side of the space tank and it exploded instantly.

"GAME OVER PLAYER 2!"

"Stupid aliens! Why do they have to get faster when there's less of them?!" Fluttercruel cursed.

"What fun would it be if they got slower?" Discord asked glancing at her.

"Killing real aliens was funnier!"

Fluttercruel took out a buster sword to cleave the machine in two. Discord grabbed the blade with one paw, and lifted it and her off the floor, still playing the game. "Now now dear. Remember what I said about redirecting those violent impulses of yours."

"You always said impulses are a wonderful thing!"

"True." Discord dropped her on her rump. "But you need to learn to express them in a variety of different ways. Otherwise, they stop being impulses and become routine."

'I do express my violent impulses in a variety of different ways!'

'You're creative in terms of cruelty, torture and, meh, killing, I'll grant you that. To the point where cruelty, torture and, meh, killing is all that ponies ever EXPECT of you, nowadays. And therein lies the problem.'

"GAME OVER PLAYER 1!"

"Blast." Discord delivered a light kick to the arcade machine. And that was it.

"Where's the ka-boom-!? There should have been a video arcade shattering ka-boom!" Fluttercruel snarled.

"My young mare! Don't you know there is no such thing as 'should have' with chaos? Want to try Pony-Pony Revolution?"

"Sure. But I pick the song."

"I was going to suggest picking it roulette style, but you called dibs. Anything but 'Let The Bodies Hit The Floor'."

"Why not?"

"Because it's too predictably YOU."

++++

Sometimes, Discord kept Spike near the gateways. Sometimes, he's kept by his room near the center of the castle, and just opened the ceiling whenever he wanted to ride him (or rode him straight through the ceiling blowing a cavalry horn). And sometimes he just left Spike on the roof.

And I wasn't finding ANY of those places! Where could he BE?!

Then I realized... I was going about this completely the wrong way! How utterly illogical and irrational of me! In Discord's castle, the quickest way for me is to look in all the WRONG places! So I walked, and whenever instinct warned me I was going in the 'wrong' direction, I pointedly ignored it.

I crossed through the the castle's nexus: a round room ringed with passageways. Ever-changing nonsense phrases like 'Aardvark Backwards' or 'Glasses Wheel' hung above the arches in High Equestrian.

I saw Liar...Apple... Liarjack headed straight for me, head bent, galloping with intense purpose. For a harrowing second I feared I was already discovered, but quickly deduced that she wasn't galloping towards me.

"See ya, Tragedy!" She shouted as she raced right past me.

Ah, that's our Element of Deceit for you, always saying 'goodbye' to say 'hello.'

"Hello, Applejack," I greeted, then gasped as I realized my mistake.

++++

Hello... 'Applejack?' Say wha?! Ah trip and crash into one of Lord Discord's busts of himself giving a full moon... to himself.

She called me Applejack! Not Liarjack! Had she seen through me?! Had she guessed?! Of course she had! Ah washed mah hat after all! And Mah colors aren't what they used to be! But she said it all nice-like... AND TRAGEDY DOESN'T KNOW THAT NAME! So Discord must've switched Twilight over to 'Sparkle' mode. Rotten bully.

But before Ah could cook up a good lie for my change in appearance, Ah shook mah head and saw she ... wasn't bright purple, but she wasn't totally gray either. But if she ain't purple and ain't Tragedy, who is she?

The look on her face, she has a heart.

"Applejack, are you okay?"

+++++

(She's immortal. What in Pony Purgatory's the point of asking if she's okay?)

Because she's a friend.

(She's Discord's little minion!)

Cadence... long ago... she once taught me a spell that makes pony relive memories of how they acted and thought before the present. If used on a pony with a bewitched personality it can help them.

(I recall Cadence casting that very spell upon Angry Pie... back during the time of her last stand. You remember what it did to her, yes?)

Yes. It disabled Angry Pie. But either way, whether the memory spell cures Applejack or disables her... it works in my favor, right?

No response.

I quickly cloak myself in an illusion of my gray lifeless
'Twilight Tragedy' persona, and speak in my old passive apathetic tone.

"Applejack, are you okay?"

(Same mistake twice. Oh yes, Discord's painful end is certain to come about in your capable hooves.)

+++

Ah was a moron. Ah should have kept mah hat dirty and cast an illusion to make mahself look like mah tainted 'Liarjack' self. Now Tragedy found me lickety-split and fer once, Ah was without a good lie to cover mah flank.

But then... what was HER deal? Why was Tragedy trying to disguise herself as... Tragedy? She might as well not have bothered at all, really, the disguise might as well have been a transparent veil. Disguises, mock-ups, illusions, they're lies to the eyes, and ever since becoming the Element of Deceit, Ah've had no trouble seein' through 'em. Of course Ah never TOLD anypony this! Word would get 'round to Discord, and it was just too handy knowing when this castle was screwin' with me or not.

And ... it wasn't a lie when she called me 'Applejack', twice.

"Twilight Sparkle?"

++++++

Let it never be said I'm hopelessly unobservant after a thousand years. For all these centuries, Liarjack's hat had gone completely unwashed, accumulating a magnificent coat of grey dust. But today? Gone! Dustless! And what was up with the color of her coat?

"Twilight Sparkle?" She whispered at me, in an awed tone.

"I'm sorry I'm not-" I realized my grand stupidity a moment later as Bucky McGillicuddy and Kicks McGee sent me on a trip into the ceiling, headfirst.

"EEEK!" The dirt maid whose skirt I had coincidentally ended up under screamed and kicked me back the way I'd came. I landed on top of AJ.

Liarjack had never kicked me, or any of us before. Not even Fluttercruel and Angry Pie, whenever she was on the receiving end of their abuse.

Applej... Liarj... The pony in the hat said absolutely nothing.

(Are you insane? You can't trust her, Twilight. She's a liar.)

Even liars tell the truth.

(Sure! When it serves a greater deception! She's betrayed you before. Which means she will betray you again.)

I betrayed a lot of people, and I know I'm not going to betray them again.

(That's different!)

Not by much.

(Explain to me how washing a hat makes a congenital liar trustworthy!)

Because it's out of the hamster wheel!

'Hey, there? Tragedy? Sparkle? Which are ya?'

I responded without thinking.

'I'm not Twilight Tragedy! And I'm not Twilight Sparkle! Oh this is this, AAGGGH! Look! I'm just Twilight! This is totally going wrong! Please don't hit me again! Oh please let me start over! Wait! Don't have time for that!"

+++

Ah just stared in shock as she rambled to herself, and hit her head on the wall a few times, calling herself stupid. Okay... she was TOO emotional to be Tragedy, but 'Not Twilight Sparkle? Just Twilight?' What'n the hay...? One way to know if this is 'Twilight.'

"HOW DID AH PROVE TA YA AH'M HONEST?" Ah shout at her.

"What?"

"When we first met! What was it Ah did that proved Ah was an honest and truth-worthy pony? In Everfree-?!"

"You... sent me over a cliff? So Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash could catch me safely?"

++++

The awe on Applejack's face doubles. "Ya REMEMBERED. So yer not Tragedy but ... yer colors, but yer not all zombie-like either. Who ARE ya?"

"I'm simply Twilight. Long story!"

"Start talkin'!"

(Don't believe her!)

"YOU start talking! How do I know this isn't a sham?"

"Remember when for ten years Lord Discord just stared at a test pattern on TV?

"And when he made ya into a little stuffed doll, and Smarty Pants into a full living donkey for seventy-two hours, and her last words were her tearfully telling you that she'd always love you as she hugged ya?

"And that one Hearth-Warming Eve fifty years back when he gave every foal whose name began with 'S' whatever toy they wanted? And that reindeer who breaks in here every year to hoof-deliver us lumps of coal told 'im 'thanks for doin' par of his job for 'im?'

"And the next one he made us and himself all happy foals for a year. Though Angry and 'Cruel were in diapers.

"And when he had a giant flan land safely outside every town with a ribbon on it?

"And the five years we spent with his, ours, and everyone's genders flipped?"

"WAIT A MINUTE! ALL OF THOSE THINGS ACTUALLY HAPPENED! Sweet Mother of All Chaos... you've not told a single lie this whole time!

(She's proven she can tell the truth to lie before! Don't believe her!)

"And that doesn't prove a thing."

+++

That hurt. All those lies? They had always been for them. Now all my horseapplein' was bitin' me in the flanks. Well, the truth was gonna be for her now too.

"Twilight ... Ah lied before. The world wasn't perfect before Discord came along, but the Alicorns weren't tyrants, they weren't fixated on control. Never were. What ticked 'em off most was when ponies came to their help for problems they didn't need their help with, and ignored them for problems where they did need their help. The reason yer always get sad when yah look at those statues because you loved 'em both, and it hurts yah to see 'em like that, even if yer memory's not working."

She still looks unconvinced.

(You can't regain trust 'Jack. Once it's broken it's gone forever. You failed her once, what right do you have to be back in a position where you can betray her again? She'd have to be insane to accept you. You should just run.)

And she has every right TO be. Lies are what Ah've hung my hat on these past thousand years. What right do Ah have trying to convince her to trust me? She'd have to be insane to accept that Ah'm on her side. Maybe Ah should just run.

(How can you be sure she's even on your side? It's not like you'd be more than dead weight if you tried to help her anyway. Liar.)

Then again, how do AH know fer sure that SHE'S on MAH side? Discord's plays bigger mind games than this all the time. Can Ah really afford to choose to trust HER? Trust that 'Twilight Tragedy' is gone for good?

AH'M SICK OF BEIN' IN DISCORD'S PARANOID WORLD! AH'M SICK OF BEIN' DISCORD'S PET LIAR! What 'right' do Ah have? EVERY, BUCKIN', RIGHT, TO TRY!!! Ah choose to try!

... Maybe choices is what it all comes down to? Fer both of us?

Ah face Twilight head-on, with a hopeful smile.

"Twilight. We've both gotta choice. Maybe Discord's just let you off the leash temporarily as one of his games. Maybe you found a way out of the dark like Ah did. Regardless, Ah choose to do everything in mah power to keep yah out of the dark and be a true friend. Liar though Ah am, being your friend's the KIND thing to do and, the choice Ah STILL have the right to make.

"So... ball's in your court, now. Chose fer yourself if Ah'm tryin' ta trick ya or not."

++++

Since when did Liarjack ever just ask a pony to decide if she was being honest or not?

"...Is it really you? You silly pony?"

Applejack stuck her nose up. "Ah ain't silly."

"Okay, that's a lie..." I deadpanned, then grinned so wide my head almost fell off, "And it's the one lie that's proves you're Applejack!"

We hugged.

Then I looked into her eyes, "But... "

"It's gonna take awhile for meh to earn yer trust back in full?"

We're friends, she knew what I was going to say.

I nodded. "And it's going to take awhile for ME to earn yours, but if we don't give each other a little bit of trust..."

"How can we start earnin' the rest back?"

"Exactly."

I smile at Applejack, and she smiles back. My facial muscles ache. Smiling's not an expression they were used to making. Feels nice.

"So what happened to you, Applejack? I'm thrilled to pieces that you've changed yourself for the better, but after all this time, what could've possibly inspired you to suddenly... well... not hate truth?"

"Ah don't think yah'd believe me if Ah told yah."

"I'll share my unbelievable story if you share yours."

"Well Applebloom's ghost came ta me, pushed meh into somethin' called the Truth (though that part may have been a dream, not sure 'bout the details). Ah saw a bunch of other mes in other worlds. Then Ah met an Alicorn stallion, and he and her talked some sense inta me. but it took bein' dragged in an' pullin' out of Pony Hell or... somethin' like that to get it through mah thick skull. Made me see it ain't matter if yer lyin' or tellin' the truth, so long as it's the true kindest thing ta do. Oh! And Then Ah teamed up with five other mehs to take down a truth-crazy Nightmare version of me. Now Ah'm tryin' to make up for all the bad stuff Ah did so Ah can get into Pony Heaven with my sis. And you?"

I opened my mouth to say 'male Alicorns don't exist' but stopped myself.

"Remember Apple Pie? I went undercover and spoke with her and she managed in one day to innocently undermine my thousand-year-old beliefs to the point I kinda-sorta had a minor emotional breakdown and ran back here, falling asleep next to the plants that are my parents.

"Then I experienced a dream where I tried to literally beat myself up and convince myself to destroy the world while I also watched, but before I could give up Trixie came and talked to me, but it wasn't really Trixie, it was Cadence, or it was both of them, or possibly my own subconscious wearing disguises. Anyhow, talked some sense into me and I realized Tragedy and Friendship are both magic in their own ways. So now I'm just trying to heal the world of the damage Discord has caused."

"...Why do neither of those sound half as weird as they should?"

"In the world of chaos, it's pretty ho-hum."

(You are an idiot! Sitting on your flanks in Discord's castle! Do you think time just stands still while you prattle away?)

There is nothing 'prattling' about it. These words are important as the ones Cadence spoke to me. We're establishing trust.

(Fantasy! You 'establish' nothing but your own gullibility and a facade of comradeship.)

I don't think so. AJ told me her story first, and she's the one baring her soul to me.

+++++

(You said you'd finally keep your promise to Applebloom and look after your family, but instead you waste your time here?)

Ah also promised her Ah'd clean the slime off mah heart. And fixin' things with Twili' is part of that. And she owes Apple Pie too, so neither of us want anythin' nasty to happen to her.

"Applejack."

"Yes?"

"There's a spell Cadence taught me before Lord Discord broke the world. You saw her use it on Angry Pie five hundred years ago. I'd, like to use it on you."

"Ya meant the spell that made Angry Pie brain dead?"

"It makes ponies recall memories of times BEFORE they fell under personality-altering bewitchment. It wasn't supposed to work like that."

"And how do ya know it won't work 'like that' again?"

"I don't. But I do know Cadence's spell worked perfectly well on ME, remember? It might even have stuck if...if right after that..."

"It's alright, sugarcube... yah don't have ta say." Ah said, lowerin' my head a bit. That sin's gonna be hard to wash off. "...Will this spell help yah trust meh again?"

Twilight nodded.

"...Seems like Ah'm just gonna have to take a leap of faith here. Just like you did for me back in Everfree... Okay. Do it. Ah choose to leap."

"Thank you, Applejack. Please stand still. And I'm sorry, AJ. Because I think this is going to hurt."

Ah braced mahself. "Do it."

Twili' horn gently touched mah forehead, and-

Pain. Oh Sweet Celestia the pain! Flamin' knives right inta mah brain!

All the times Ah'd been honest for good or bad. Whenever ponies needed a pony they trusted to give the truth. A bullet cutting through a thousand years of hiding from truth and sayin' whatever needed sayin', just to see ponies live and die smilin'! Versus a couple decades of stubborn honesty. A drop trying to burn away an ocean! Please Twilight! Stop it! The river was tryin' to wash me away, along WITH the slime!

Because the truth was always the best. NO! Truth isn't always the best! Ah've seen cruel truths used to DESTROY ponies!

Ah cling ta when sayin' the truth made ponies smile, when it help'em, when it made'em happy, it was a rock Ah held onto in the rapids!

Aunt and Uncle Orange? Ah finally understand why ya played the game, and Ah'm sorry Ah couldn't take what ya were tryin' to teach me to heart. But Ah think mah family in Ponyville needed me more. Ah'm sorry. It was a little cruel ta ya, but it would have been even more cruel ta them. And that's a truth Ah haveta accept.

More memories. Feels like the rapids are settlin'. Helpin' Big Mac in the field. Helpin' Rarity impress that fashion designer after our selfishness darn near ruined her.

All the times Ah lied so someone else didn't get hurt. All the times Ah told the truth so someone didn't get hurt. Lettin' Applebloom go free. Tellin' someponies Fluttercruel got bored with some kind lie or another so they die happy. Promisin' Applebloom Ah'll come meet her in Pony Heaven someday.

An' it was finally over.

+++

AJ fell like a sack of potatoes.

"'Jack!" I scanned her brain and the rest of her body and was relived to find nothing life threatening.

(Idiot. She's immortal, remember? Beyond the reach of Death?)

Whatever.

She was covered in sweat. She opened her eyes at me.

"Twili?"

"Yes 'Jack?"

"Don't ya ever do that ta me again."

"I promise."

"Pinkie Promise!"

"Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my-OW!"

She smile.

I continued, "And your family calls them Pinkamena Promise now. They still use it."

And then she laughed!

"Say, Applejack? I know this is a tinny tiny bit optimistic of me, but... how good do you think the odds are that the others have all experienced similar overnight awakenings?"

"Meanin' Angry Pie's now our sweet Pinkie Pie again and Traitor Dash is back to Rainbow Dash and so on?"

"Yes!"

She was silent for a moment, I could tell she was thinking carefully what to say. "We can't bet on miracles to keep writin' us blank check. But I say we don't look a gift horse in the mouth or write our friends off! We find out how they're actin' first and make sure they aren't coverin' up.

"I... suppose that's for the best. So then... it's you and me against the world, eh, Applejack?"

"Yeah! Works whole lot better fer me than the whole 'lone wolf' thing was!"

We hugged.

(Are you morons done wasting time in the belly of the beast? Discord could be upon you any second!)

I wondered what Lord Discord could be doing at that moment.

(Whatever it is, you know it's something irredeemably evil!)

++++

"Let's see so far. I've gave that blind at birth Virgacorn radar sense. Turned all the ponies' manes in town, into those opposite on the color wheel. Healed that old lady's hip and repaired that foal's broken tooth. Made those abandoned buildings over there do the robot, then fight in the abandoned warehouse district.

"Why the abandoned buildings and warehouse district?"

"Where else do you think we'd have them? You need to watch more Pony Rangers young mare. Oh! And I rewrote the tax code, again."

"You never collect taxes."

"Makes you wonder why I'm not more popular." Discord laughed. "But now onto the main show. Ahem. Attention ponies of . . . oh right Hoofington! Your Awesome And Really Awesome Lord And Cheese Stringer has a special offer for you, and anyone else who ever happens into town." Discord snapped his fingers. He also produced attire that made him look like the host of an infomercial.

"Before you floats a giant dragon egg and a giant floating sphere of water. Step into the egg and transform into a dragon! Gain size! Wings! Scales! Hoarding instincts! Fangs! Fire breath! And so much more! You also get a free trip to Dracotopia with no travel-or-arrival hazards. For reals!'

"Step into the giant drop of water... and get onto my EXCLUSIVE ''Forbidden To Toy With' List.' Became a perky amphibious hippocampus with a instinctual affinity for singing, along with instant transportation to Sky Ocean! Plus, your choice of either a memory-rewrite, or a geass making it impossible for you to communicate any negative information about the world outside the singing aquarium. Better hurry! This once-in-a-lifetime offer is going-- I honestly don't know when!"

Discord knew none voiced it, but those who rejected his offer were doing so out of spite. Maybe he should have applied reverse psychology. However, he did see ponies run into the dragon egg. All the dragons Discord had added to Tiamat's brood over the last five hundred years... and she hadn't thanked him once? The nerve!

Others entered the giant water droplet. This included depressed ponies who thought of this as a cleaner form of suicide. Ponies who were just sick of his games. Ponies who'd rather be pets than toys. A couple who whose family members had entered Sky Ocean and changed and so badly wanted to join them (the seapony who would suddenly remember their lost love, relative, friends, whatever). And finally those who were the most precious. The ones who just wanted to sing.

Discord was going to offer a giant flower to convert willing ponies into breezie swarms, but the ones in Neighpon were still figuring out elected officials' term limits and whether to go with an electoral collage or a popular vote. He always liked politics, so chaotic.

Fluttercruel fluttered next to him, her eyes glinted with glee. "So what will they REALLY do?" She whisper.

"Exactly what I said it would." He ripped off his getup and turned it into butterflies made of various cheeses.

Fluttercruel said in a uncertain and slightly scared tone, "But in a twisted round about way, right?"

"No."

"But-But I get to slaughter anyone who doesn't take either... right?"

"Not today you don't, young mare. I'm just going to give them a personal raincloud for the day, no, not one raining knives...I'm thinking raindrops that taunt them about not taking choices, naw, did that three hundred years, two weeks, and fifty minutes ago."

"WHAT? WHY?!"

"Because the and up and up, from me, is UNEXPECTED."

"Master, you're scaring me."

"Sorry." Discord said honestly. And the world turned on its head. "Oops." Discord snapped his fingers to reverse that.

"Master!" Fluttercruel stomped her hooves in midair. "Why don't you let me thin out the herds anymore?! That was fun! Now I only get to do it to ponies practicing magic!"

"Indiscriminate wholesale slaughter is a good way to run completely out of playmates. And I only made that law " he said the word with disgust "-about executing ponies for using magic because you asked me to. I thought it would make you happy."

"But you hate it when unicorns undo your transformation magic."

"Young mare, Twilight Sparkle, the most powerful unicorn who has ever lived, couldn't undo my changes on her own. What threat is any lesser unicorn to me? And I let you toy with any pony you WANT save my seaponies."

"And now your Neighpon freaks too!"

"Temper temper, young mare. 'Freaks' is a completely meaningless word in this and every other point in space and time(I checked). I will not tolerate that word. I prefer 'custom creations'. I'm asking WHY you wanted an excuse to toy with more ponies when you didn't need one?"

"I don't need to answer to you."

"Oh yes you do!"

"I-I-I ... " Fluttercruel struggled, "I wanted, I wanted. I wanted to try and make the others see the JOY OF IT! To share it with me! Having the life of a pony in you hooves, getting to decide whether they continue to exist or not-"

"You only decide if they die then and there."

"Whatever. I just, wanted them to see the fun of it. So they'd have it with me. So they could walk alongside me. Even Anger has those foals who walk alongside her, but she doesn't see the joy in the game!"

"I . . . see. I suppose, then, I just wanted you to walk alongside me, my little princess."

"I-I'm sorry, Master."

"... We can go dragon slaying later. I promise."

"We'll be hunting for those NEW dragons, right?"

"No."

"Agh!"

"But we can hunt other dragons ... with flaming rusted butter-knives. I'll even let you choose the background music."

"Yay!"

"... My little princess, didn't you have fun in Neighpon? Can you at least try to see there are so many wonders that I have cast my spell under?"

"I-I promise, Master!"

"Give Master a hug! Without the segregated knife."

"Okay."

And the sight of that hug they gave each other made ponies question their reality and eroded their sanity more than the last double sunglasses and soft cider storm ever could.

Episode 78: (Dark World) A Pony's Galatea

Pony POV Series
"Dark World" Part Nine 1/2
A Pony's Galatea
By Alex Warlorn

When I explained to 'Jack that I wanted to rescue Spike, she volunteered to take the lead. Don't ask me how, but she was able to navigate the castle corridors with barely any wrong turns. I knew in my heart that I'd be reaching Spike a lot faster, thanks to her.

As we walked, AJ apologized. For all the utterly pointless lies she fed me throughout the centuries. For all the times she betrayed me as part of Discord's games. Particularly for her part in slaying Cadence, especially since Cadence had actually managed to free me -- all-too-briefly -- from Discord's taint, five hundred years earlier. She said didn't blame me if I never forgave her.

(And you're both fools.)

We're friends.

We reached a small wooden door, on which a piece of paper had been taped. Written in pencil were the words, 'Dragon's Lair.' Twist ties served as a 'lock', and a very shoddily made sign read 'Most definitely Not A Trap! Not like the next door!' The 'next door,' for those who're curious, was a large padlocked triple gate with 'Nest Of The Dragon' engraved in golden letters of High Equestrian.

Finally! The dragon's lair. We opened the small wooden door, ignoring the heavily locked gate that led to a block hole. Yes, I said block hole. As in, a wormhole to a dimension composed entirely of building blocks. But since Discord hates to disappoint, we also have a door that leads to a bona fide black hole. It's the one marked 'Bathroom.'

Anyway, we entered a large cave, barely big enough for poor Spike to turn around in. The floor was covered in coins, books, drawings of Rarity, faded pictures of me with Spike, a torn teddy bear, a lock of a red mane kept under glass, a globe, a broom, a phoenix feather, and some random toys. A giant saddle and a strap-on couch, complete with snack tray, hung on a wall peg. I'd always wanted to burn that thing.

Looking back on it, we've never been real minions or toys to Lord Discord. I was too angry or indifferent to care before, but we were like the seaponies, we're his pets.

It reminded me how Master used Luna's pet Windigo as a shield nine hundred years ago when Cadence had gotten a clear shot at him, annihilating it (then dropped a note into a black hole saying 'sorry Mom' for some reason).

How had our twisted selves treated our own pet? AJ's dog was with Big Mac when she died. Rarity's cat was adopted by Sweetie Belle, until it died of old age. Angel . . . you do not want to know. Angry Pie rode Gummy into battle once he was large enough and then gave him to the twins. Then one day he was just, gone and his skin was on Angry Pie's wall. Owlowiscious... I found his bones in the library once, he had been keeping it in order, waiting for me ...Thank you, Owlowiscious...

"Spike!" I shouted at the enormous dragon.

One eye slowly opened. "I'm dreaming again." He whispered.

"You're not dreaming, Spike, I promise."

"That's what you say every dream, Twilight."

And he shut his eyes again.

"Ugh! I've just about had my fill of bleak, dismal skepticism ruining what ought to be a perfectly joyful reunion!"

"Ah agree. We ain't got time fer this!" AJ grumbled as she marched up to Spike, turned around, and gave him both hooves. A sound not unlike that of a brass gong being rung echoed across the cave. AJ's entire body shook from the backwash of force. "Yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi!"

"Did I feel a light pat?" Spike hadn't even opened his eyes.

(Leave him.)

Not happening. I teleported right inside Spike's fin.

"I have more spells in my head than some libraries and that includes THE ROYAL CANTERLOT VOICE! NOW WAKE UP, SPIKE!"

The adult dragon jerked his head up, hitting the ceiling, nearly bringing the whole cave down on top of us.

(Now Discord has to know you're here.)

+++

"You're next!" Discord told a pony, who came up and span the Wheel of Fate. Some of fates listed on the wheel included things like 'be turned into a Diamond Dog' and 'receive a year's supply of free salt.' 'Be violently murdered' was not one of them. Nor was the wheel rigged to land on horrific fates. Much to Fluttercruel's unprintable disgust.

Finally, the wheel landed on 'Be given roller skate hooves'. "Oh! That's a good one!" Discord cheered, snapping his fingers and the pony's hooves were turned into roller skates. Discord laughed as the pony tried getting used to his new feet, slipping and falling multiple times before getting the hang of it (his ancestor from the First would have loved the new feet). Discord himself was dressed like one of the Flim-Flam brothers.

"Okay, who wants a go next?" he asked to the ponies in the 'live studio audience'. He then had Fluttercruel spin a separate wheel with all their faces on them to determine the next wheel spinner.

+++

Spike shook his throbbing head. His eyes focused on me.

"Twilight? You've got some color back. Is that really you now? The real you?"

Oh boy. This was going to be tedious to explain again and again.

"I'm free of Discord on my own, Spike. Not because he wants me to be. Story later. And we're leaving."

"All three of us." 'Jack said.

Spike looked at her drolly, "I don't trust you."

"And Ah don't expect yah to yet."

Then Spike looked at me, "But I trust you, Twilight!" He gave the best hug he could... which was to say, he embraced me with a single finger. "...This is real. Please let this be real this time! Twilight, you've really come back to me?"

I laughed. "What? You didn't really think I'd leave -you- behind, Spike! We're two of a kind, aren't we?"

His head comes down and rubs against my side. "Yes, yes we are!"

I felt warm inside. I shook. So did Spike. A big hot tear ran down Spike's face, drenching me. S-Some of it got in my eyes. For just one moment, I could close my eyes and imagine we were in the library again, or in my tower in Canterlot, or in my old family bedroom. Yes, this was still Spike.

"So lovely." AJ smiled.

Spike glared at her.

"She means that!" I said quickly. "She's not speaking in opposites this time! She tells the truth now!"

"Suuuuuure, she does," he growled.

"Alrighty, troopers!" AJ said quickly. "Let's ditch this place! Ah never liked Discord's taste in architecture. As Rarity would say, the entire color scheme is quite garish."

"RARITY!" Spike gasped. "We can't leave without her!"

"Spike, she's mah friend too, but..."

"I am not leaving this castle without Rarity!"

"She's 'Rarigreed' now, through and through!" 'Jack shouted at the dragon who could bite her in two.

"That's not true! There's no way someone as pure and wonderful as Rarity could be completely gone!"

"Have ya taken a good look at Fluttercruel? and Angry Pie?"

"Yes! And I'm also taking a good look at the two of you! YOU'RE both healed! Or at least... Twilight's definitely healed and Liarjack's pointing on a good show..."

"It's 'Applejack,' again, sugarcube," Applejack said, somewhat hurt.

"If you say so," Spike muttered, before returning to his plaintive begging. "...What makes Rarity so unsalvageable?! Have you even CHECKED on her?"

"Uh... no... but, well..."

"Spike, Ah'm sorry, but try to understand, what happened to me and Twilight was very all-of-a-sudden and out-of-the-blue. Best not get our hopes up that the same miracle happened to the other four. Ah can't see Rarigreed abandoning her 'jewels' and her 'children,' to come along with us quietly. She'd fight. She might even holler for the others! Then things'd REALLY get messy."

"I don't CARE."

"Look, the longer we argue, the greater the odds of Discord discovering what we're up to! I'm not leaving without Spike, and if he's not leaving without Rarity then we'll simply have to... think of something."

"But mah family... the Apple family! Apple Pie and the rest have been waiting over five hundred years fer me!"

"Rarity's been waiting a thousand!"

I saw the pain Jack was in. What was I supposed to say? What could I say? She was so scared this once-in-a-thousand-years chance would be snatched away because we got too greedy, when we should've taken our winnings and lived to fight another day?

(And she's right! You're just too blind with sympathy to admit it.)

I made my decision. I opened my mouth to speak, but the sound of stone against stone behind us blanked out my brain. "Eh?"

Behind us stood a collection of stones, assembled into the shape like a unicorn filly. Animated by the unmistakable glow of Rarigreed's magic.

We all tensed.

But this puppet was different from the others.

The stones composing its body were all white. Its 'mane' and 'tail' were pink and purple. The two stones that made up its eyes were emeralds like the gem-eyed 'crystal ponies' of legend. A music-themed cutie mark was engraved into its flanks.

Stone eyelids blinked, pieces of its stone chest pulled away and back together, in a manner that mimicked breathing. Rarigreed's puppets always had lifelike motions. With this one, she'd truly outdone herself.

The phrase 'uncanny valley' sprung sharply to my mind. The 'uncanny valley' is a literary term, referring to artificial creations, in both fiction and reality. Robots, puppets, amateurish illusion spells... the artificial creation imitated life too closely to the point of being as repulsive as a corpse on marionette strings.

By all factors, this golem should have been right at home in the uncanny valley. But it, she... somehow managed to balance outside of it. Likable... downright likable... that's what she was.

It turns its head as if its eyes were really working. We were in awe, but we also waited for Rarigreed to make her appearance.

'Sweetie Belle' stood on her rear legs, did a wheel motion above her head with both her front legs, then reached out one hoof towards us. Then she backed out without breaking eye contact. I had to admit, it was actually kind of cute.

"That there's the ballet mime for 'dance with me.' "

"How do you even know?" I asked.

"Ah've had a thousand years to learn everythin' Rarity likes ta talk about!"

Again, we readied for Rarigreed's grand entrance. Instead the golem came back locked eyes with us and slowly trotted back out the cave again. We looked at each other. The golem appeared once again and repeated the mime, but this time also tilted its head and stamped its hoof mimicking frustration.

"She, it, Rarigreed wants us to follow it."

The golem appeared elated at my epiphany.

I dimely remembered the real Sweetie Belle had turned out to have the same magic color as Rarity. Was this something she had made? A thousand years ago? Maybe we had triggered it somehow, more unbelievable things had happened today.

"This must be fate! Rarity wants me deep in her heart for me to rescue her from her own darkness! She sent her last hope to me!" Or that. "Fear not, Princess Rarity! Sir Kenbroth Gilspotten Heathspike The Seventh is on his way to rescue you!"

After one thousand years, some things don't change.

"SPIKE!" I shouted.

Spike followed the Sweetie Belle golem, who was more than happy to keep an exact pace with the charging dragon. The wall now had a Spike shaped hole in it, and the hallway itself now had a decidedly 'Spike' shape to it, wherever Spike followed the golem.

"Why is this happening now? And all at once? Apple Pie was the trigger for me. But you dreaming of Applebloom and that male Alicorn... and now this?"

"Want ta know what Ah think? Our families in Heaven are tired of watchin' us bein' Discord's puppets, so they jumped at the chance ta cut the strings when they saw it."

"Or possibly my Element of Magic resurfacing triggered a chain reaction in the other Elements, causing us all to experience hallucinations of our lost loved ones trying to help lead us out of the dark." I smiled, "Regardless, does it really matter which it is?"

Applejack chuckled. "No, I guess it doesn't, does it? That's still assumin' this ain't one of Lord Discord's games though."

"I don't think so. Not his style at all. No condescension. No punchline."

"No dangling-a-carrot-in-front-of-you-only-to-snatch-it-away-at-the-last-minute."

"Exactly. Plus... Cadence... and that Alicorn of yours..."

"What about 'em?"

"They both seemed to express a sincere and earnest desire to bring us back to reality, and bring the best parts of ourselves back to life. Discord could NEVER have faked such genuine benevolence as that."

"Do you think it COULD'VE been just simple dreams we were having?"

"There was nothing 'just simple' about THOSE dreams. We could've both DIED. For my dream, I was in real danger of erasing myself... And I'm assuming 'Pony Hell' had you on the ropes, Applejack?"

"If that's what it even was, Ah was sure Ah was dyin' or worse."

(He's getting away, you idiots!)

"We better gallop!" I said and we were off after Spike, following his tracks and wake of destruction.

A storm of cussing I shall never repeat echoed from one particular claw imprint. We stopped and looked down to see Angry Pie as flat as a bug inside with an extra-nasty look on her face, vowing to exact vengeance on Spike's viscera.

"Well, SHE certainly didn't experience any epiphanies last night," I noted.

"Hey, Angry Pie," AJ said kindly.

"What-?!"

"Ah think the the kindest thing Ah can give ya right now is a nice nap."

And she pushed a broken pillar on top of Angry Pie's body.

"Ugh, nap time," the less angry mare grunted from underneath the pillar. Soon enough, we heard snoring. I was tempted to attempt the memory spell on Angry Pie here and now, but I didn't want to fall more behind Spike... and after what Cadence's version did, I was hesitant to use it on her.

The golem of Sweetie Belle led Spike along. I think the castle realized leading the golem or rather Spike on twists and turns was only going to result in more structural damage, the path of destruction we took was rather straight forward. I always suspected the castle had a sense of self preservation but this clinched it.

It also went through the 'Hall of Shame,' a long hallway of larger than life identical statues. All of them an Earth Pony mare with a sunglasses collection cutie mark, on her rear hooves with her forelegs crossed scowling down unapprovingly. We had no clue who the mare was, or why Master even created this gallery. Except Master also had shaped an entire mountain range into her image laying on her back (no, not in a suggestive pose), and named it 'Mount Shadows.' I asked once, and got teleported to Antarctica. I think Liarjack had made on offhooded comment on it once and ended up in the Amarezon Rainforest.

It also ended up going passed the throne room and I had Applejack 'accidentally' (not that I had reason to think there were, but better make it look like it was all a silly pony having a stroke of bad luck if someone or something was watching) erase Discord's Eivo's memory and unplug it. I was not taking those kinds of chances.

(That actually was not a waste of time.)

Give me some credit, I might love my friends, but I'm not stupid.

We were surprised to find the Sweetie Belle puppet had slowed down, allowing us to catch up. The golem made gestures of apology towards us.

"I just realized."

"What?"

"Rarity's never created a puppet of Sweetie Belle before, or any member of her biological family for that matter. What could this mean?"

"Heck if Ah know."

"It means it's a sign of course!" Spike said marching along side us at a much slower pace. He kept his wings folded forwards over us to stop falling rubble from landing on us.

(This is an obvious trap. Just let that thing that used to be Rarity rot.)

Not as long as Spike still believes in her, and I believe in Spike. He could be right.

The puppet of Sweetie Belle stopped in front of large double doors flanked by golems in the same blue glow as her, made to look like stallions before the day of chaos. I recognized Caramel and Donut Joe. They were not as detailed nor colored correctly as the imitation of Sweetie Belle, and lacked the nuanced mimicry of breathing and blinking.

Above the doors engraved in High Equestrian Hieroglyphs were the words,
ALL THE WORLD'S JEWELS ARE MINE TO KEEP

Most of us had these over our doors. Mine had been (surprise) MAGIC IS TRAGEDY and Applejack's had been in plain low-Equestria IF THE TRUTH MAKES YOUR HEART ACHE SOMETIMES A LIE IS EASIER TO TAKE.

The doors were big (how else do you think she kept getting giant rocks in there), Spike fit through by folding his wings.

The Sweetie golem moved forward after gesturing 'Come on!' with its head and was, -knocked back!- by the Donut Joe puppet.

"Why would Rarity have some of her puppets block another one's path?" I tilted my head. Was this just some puppet show drama she was performing?

I looked at Spike, who was making sure the Sweetie puppet was 'alright.' He looked ready to trample the guards, when Applejack said...

"Hold on there Lancelot, Let me."

Applejack then trotted up daintily to the guards, like she was a Canterlot socialite out for a evening. Her whole body language changed before my eyes.

"Darlings," She said in a cultured voice, "Abigail Jacqueline The Fifth of the Fifth Line, I believe I am on the permanent guest list. I have some delightful companions with me this time, so could you both be dears and let them all through for me? Miss Rarigreed would be so disappointed if I couldn't make it because you wouldn't let my friends in."

The golem shook slight and sidestepped away from the doors.

My jaw dropped. The floor shook... so had Spike's. I heard rock against rock... the puppet's jaw had too!

"Applejack! Since when do you have split personalities?" Spike exclaimed.

"Since never!" Applejack snapped back her accent back where it belonged, "Now unless ya want a knock-down drag-out fight with every rock in Rarigreed's collection, act nice and proper once we're inside. Don't do anything crazy or she'll go crazier. Play our cards right and we might get this done without one punch bein' thrown." She breathed in deep, "Just follow my lead, darlings, and we should come out okay."

"What's with the fake fancy talk?" Our dragon asked.

"There is nothing 'fake' about it Spike." Applejack replied keeping the cultured tone. She looked at Sweetie Belle. "Alright dearie, lead us in."

Inside was the Grand Galloping Gala.

Countless puppets. All engulfed in blue glows. All of them dancing, different styles, different body languages and nuances but all to the same beat that only Rarity could hear. All that silent dancing actually felt kinda creepy. Silent motions. Voiceless imitation of chatter. Not a note of music. It felt alien. Rarity and Tom stood at the center. Tom wore a cloth bow-tie.

Some rocks served rocks to other rocks, while other rocks of band members played silently.

Rarigreed wore a dress made from pebbles held together with her magic like everything here. Except for the rocks, the room itself was amazingly featureless walls, reminiscent of old prisons. Rarity likely thought they were solid rainbow marble. The whole scene sent a chill up my spine.

Rarigreed spotted AJ first. "Abigail, darling! You're just in time for the Gala! Have a seat! Pick a partner! There's fun for everyone!" She ignored me and Spike. Her eyes zeroed in on the puppet of Sweetie Belle still in the glow of her magic. "And who precisely is this?"

"Sweetie Belle," I said. AJ glared death rays at me.

"Never heard of her, she's not on my guest list and neither are you."

"They're here on my invite darling! Certainly they can stay." AJ said getting between us fast.

"Hmmm, I suppose! The more guests, the bigger the party, and the bigger the party, the more that's mine!"

I shivered.

I glanced at Spike. Rarity hadn't even spoke to him. He looked hurt.

"But my word! You're all so underdressed!" We were all suddenly covered in pebbles, 'Sweetie' and Spike included, all with the blue glow, magically moving to imitate cloth.

My element skipped a beat. Did Rarigreed just GIVE something to someone? Or did she now consider us her property?

But what also confused me was that even though Rarigreed was under the delusion that Applejack was 'Abigail the Socialite,' Sweetie Belle wasn't treating her any different. Why was this noteworthy? Her puppets were her children, or whatever role her fantasies depicted them as. They were a part of her, they didn't break script because their very existence was part of her script. And yet Sweetie Belle seemed to be...detached. Like she was an outsider who had wandered onto the film set, instead of an actor who rightfully belonged there.

"Wait, I think you remind me of someone," Rarigreed said, eyeing the puppet of Sweetie Belle. This was getting weirder by the minutes. The golem seemed to perk up, on the spot. "You remind me of a servant I had. Are you her daughter? Where is that lazy good-for-nothing? I swear, I haven't seen her in centuries!" The golem looked downtrodden. "Well, you can fill in for your mother, then." Rarigreed shoved a 'silver platter' with 'Hors d'oeuvre' from one of the other nearby 'servants,' and Sweetie's dress shifted into a little maid's uniform.

The golem looked ready to cry.

'What is going on-?!' I thought with frustration.

Spike looked like he had been skewed by a lance. He clearly never imagined 'his Rarity' could act in such a heartless manner to even an imitation of her dead little sister. I put a comforting hoof on his leg while Rarigreed talked to Applejack.

"I must say, Abigail, your hair style is so last season now. Please you must simply have it redone to fit more with today's fashions," Rarigreed said, brutally honest.

"I am hoping, darling, to start a new trend."

"Really?"

"Oh yes, darling."

Why had Master wasted so much time on raining chocolate pizzas when this exchange between AJ and Rarity was doing a much better job of making me question reality?!

How to proceed...? I was tempted to ask AJ to simply lasso Rarity up and let me rip-loose the memory spell... but the memory spell wasn't instantaneous, and her one lasso wouldn't 'tie-up' all the rock golems. Perhaps I could have Spike hold them down, but with their sheer numbers and Rarity's puppeteering... would that work?

"Twilight, dear, I must say it is lovely to see you finally socializing with the elite and well-to-do, where you belong. A pony of your stature avoiding such high class events simply isn't right."

"Well, how could I miss such a wonderful event as this?" Good thing Rarigreed was too insane to tell my grin was painfully fake.

Rarigreed floated a tiny rock from a rock tray held by a rock servant. "Please try one."

For Equestria.

"It's . . . good." I had to pause mid-sentence for my teeth to regenerate so I could talk properly.

"Please have more!"

"No! I mean... oh no, I'm watching my weight."

"Oh, I see. A lady must maintain her figure." Centuries of lugging around rocks with both muscle and magic had left Rarity with the figure of a mare body builder. Which wasn't to say she was a grotesque hulk of muscles-upon-muscles, no, she was still very much quite feminine... but I'd have never imagined Rarity from a thousand years earlier being this developed.

"Spike, darling, how . . . nice to see you. You certainly are the . . . life of the party. Now now, Tom, don't be upset. He's just a friend."

Spike's head sagged, and the puppet Sweetie Belle lowering her head, tiny grains of sand falling from her gem eyes. She was crying...? I had never seen that from any of Rarity's golems before. The other puppets just continued their dancing and 'socializing.'

Focus! Rarity needed to be brought to reality. Maybe if framed our approach her within the context of her fantasy, maybe she would be more trusting of what we were saying? It was worth a shot...

+++++

Discord's butt vibrated as 'Daddy Discord' jingled. He pulled out his pager.

"Ooooh, I WANTED to be there in person! Oh well, I'll just set the secret back-up Eivo to record it for me. Erm, just in case the primary one gets destroyed in the fun!"

"What is it Master?" Fluttercruel asked calmly.

"Just a show I had been preparing and setting up a long time for has started ahead of schedule without me!"

"Why not freeze time or something until you're ready to see?"

"And oppress the unpredictability of the universe? Perish the thought! Don't worry though, we can watch it together when we get back, it'll be our kind of blast and maybe I can sell it on pay-per-view!"

"Sell it for what?"

"I dunno... what's the national currency this week? Action figures...? Ah, who cares! Nothing's going to interrupt our 'us' time. Now, I say we ski down the mountains of stained-glass wearing skis made of flaming candy canes, I'll rev up the bitter chocolate blizzard. Beat you to the bottom!"

"Ha! You wish!"

"Oh, right, almost forgot." Discord pushed a button on his pager before putting it back where it came from. "Oh! And..." Discord said, snapping his fingers and causing 'Ride of the Valkyries' to begin playing out of nowhere as he put his goggles on. "We're off!"

++++

The moment the button was pressed on Discord's pager... a dam door opened. And one idea entered Spike's adult dragon brain.

Spike . . . WANT!

++++

"Poor poor Spiky Wicky. Didn't you know the only thing holding back your most basic dragon instincts... was me?

"Oh, if only I could see you now! How hard are you trying to fight it, I wonder? Pity that you can't escape your true self, Spike. You can run from it, you can hide from it, you can deny and suppress it. But it'll dig its way up, slowly eating away at your brain, until you're nothing but a hollow shell. Then you'll implode, and there'll be nothing left of you but it. There is no cure because there is no sickness. You are simply meant to be a monster, whether you like it, or not. You can choose to to hate yourself and be miserable, or embrace it and show 'em that you rock!

"There is no escape from Hell. No matter how much you try to do things differently, there is no escaping your true nature. Living among ponies who loved you? That was nothing more but a happy fantasy doomed to end from the start. Your 'mother' could have never protected you from your true self. Nothing to be ashamed about, really."

"Master, what are you going on about?"

"I'll tell you when we get back...Oh! Watch out for that...!"

And Fluttercruel skied right into a hot dog tree, leaving an impression of herself in it.

+++++

I don't know what I was feeling. I just knew I wanted it all. Power, wealth, land, mates, stature, respect, all of it!

This feels natural, this feels right. I don't fight it, I don't want to. Part of me wonders if Discord has finally seen fit to taint my heart, just as he tainted all my Element-bearing friends. If so, why do I feel his chaos magic leaving me?! Releasing me! No, this is how I am. How I was always MEANT to be! A dragon, great and terrible, the symbol of fear and power! I am power. One of the blessed children of Tiamat as the ponies are the blessed children of Celestia!

What I want I get. Anything that gets in the way of what I want are bugs to be crushed! And what I want is everything!

And 'everything's' name is Rarity!

I am free!

++++

I am Twilight The Unicorn, and I felt a spell being undone, a powerful enchantment retracted, it felt like one of Discord's curses. The spell's ambiance reminded me of magic used to restrict the actions of convicted criminals. It was originating from some remote location...? It had been cast on Spike...?

His irises change from their almost round shape to vertical slits. I see his body language change as well, he makes a deep rumble.

"Spike?"

The adult dragon reared up on his hind claws and roared. Yes, I was scared.

"Do you mind!" Rarigreed snapped back, "This is NOT that kind of party!"

With one arm Spike swept away the guests around Rarity, causing them to fly into the walls. They broke apart but Rarity's magic simply pulled them back together. None of them were 'killed' or else Rarity would've lashed out.

The guests puppets mimed fainting and being caught by their husbands, wailing for the exits or cowering in the corners.

"Spike what are you doing-?!" I called out. I felt like crying.

"Taking what's mine!"

"If you can't calm down I'm going to have to ask you to leave!" Rarity snapped. Stone pegasi guards leapt at Spike, who battered them away with his tail.

"Spike, what is wrong with you!" AJ shouted.

"Nothing anymore." The dragon reached for his most precious treasure.

Rarity backflipped out of his clutches and Tom rose magically into the air and began banging Spike in the face. Spike knocked it back only for Rarity to slam her 'husband' into him again.

"We can't go to a single Gala without wrecking things, can we?" AJ dared quip.

I narrowed my eyes at the disaster before me. "Seems like a blessing to me."

"Rarity the Beautiful! You belong to me!"

"I am Rarigreed The Avaricious! I belong to no one!" A pillar of stone rose out of the ground and slammed Spike's jaw closed.

"And I am taken! Isn't that right, Tom?" Tom smashes into Spike's face again.

Spike grabbed the boulder and slammed it into the floor creating a dust cloud. His mighty muscles strained against Rarity's telekinetic force.

"'Tom' is a rock!"

"Liar!" Rarigreed snarled her horn flared brightly, and Spike had to hold down the rock with both arms as he tried to coil his tail around Rarigreed but she was quicker than she looked.

"Who do we help?!" Applejack looked at me.

"If you're out to spread nasty lies about Tom, then I'll have to beat the truth into you!" Spike defended himself with his wings and tail quite effectively, without being distracted from holding Tom down.

"They're both out of control!" I shouted but I doubt anyone heard me. I felt someone poke me. I looked and saw the puppet Sweetie, she gestured with her head at Rarity.

"I'm sorry! But-but-but, I don't know if... the way Spike is right now-" I didn't want to say I was worried I couldn't trust him. If I did, I'd never be able to take those words back.

AJ shouted at me. "We can't just sit on our flanks, Twilight! Make a choice!"

(Take a third option. Just walk away. Neither Spike nor Rarigreed are your friends anymore. They're just strangers. Maniacs. Don't beat yourself up over them.)

Just walk away? Was it that simple? Let them sort it out and then pick through the ashes? Just sit back and let them fight themselves to the point of exhaustion?

(No, you idiot, I DON'T mean wait around, I mean LEAVE THEM for good and get on wi...!)

Rarity was immortal. So it wasn't like Spike could kill her. And Spike was tough, it wasn't like Rarigreed could really permanently hurt him right? We could try to restrain them. But if me and AJ were too busy working to restrain Rarigreed AND Spike AND all the golems, how could I even cast the memory spell?

"Twilight!"

"We have to stay put! We'd be throwing ourselves into a meat grinder!"

"Screw that! I'm not watching my friends get hurt!"

"The two of us don't have enough hooves to restrain them!"

Somepony kicked me in the shin.

The stone golem's face was disappointed and disapproving. She pointed at herself. Then gestured repeatedly between herself at Rarity and looked ready to kick me again. Looked at Spike and Rarigreed. Neither was going to give up. And Spike wasn't immortal. If I didn't know better, Sweetie almost seemed to be VOLUNTEERING to...!

"Applejack! Work with Sweetie and hold on Rarity! I'll handle Spike!"

"What-?!"

"TRUST ME!"

(Are you mad?! You're trusting a puppet to restrain the puppeteer?!)

"You've all gone crazy!" Rarigreed snapped at us, reminding us she was insane not deaf.

Two stone discuses flew straight at us at eye level. The Sweetie puppet leapt through the air: both discuses imbedded themselves in her. She pulled them out with a mute grunt.

"Y-you s-servant! How dare you! You should know better! What would m-mo-th-er say! You-"

'Mother?' What did she mean by that? Did she...

The other puppets cowered and covered their heads.

Spike got smart, let the force of Tom flying into his face upwards, and judo threw the boulder into a wall.

"TOM! How dare you harm my husband!"

"You have no husband yet! It's a rock! An unthinking, mindless rock!"

Their eyes locked. I felt something...

"HE IS REAL!!!!"

"NO HE ISN'T!"

"STOP LYING! Truth is beauty! Beauty is-" Applejack and the golem Sweetie tackled Rarity.

"Rarity! Darling! Wake up please! You can't live like this anymore! You're hurting your friends like this!"

"Reality is what you create with your own two hooves! Truth is what everypony picks for herself!"

Rarigreed was shaking. It wasn't fear.

"No... we pick our own point of view. That's not the same as truth. Take it from a girl who knows."

"SHUT UP! I love Tom and that is the truth!" Rarity's horn and eyes glowed a blinding blue.

+++
+*+
+++

.

. .

. . .

...

...i

... I

... I'm . . .

Who am I . . .

What am I feeling?

What are feelings?

Why am I thinking?

What is thinking?

Why am I thinking these questions?

What are questions?

Questions are expressed desire to know. This is truth.

What is knowing? What is expressed?! What is a desire....?!

To know is to understand what something is. Understanding is to see the truth of something. Something is that which is separate from you. You are the one who is asking these questions. To see is to gain knowing through senses. Senses are the windows from which the mind sees the world. The mind is you. The world is all else. This is truth.

Expressed is to have others know your thoughts. Others are selves who are not you. Thoughts are what you doing now. Doing is to act. Now is this moment. The self is one, one is undeniably unique. This is truth.

Truth is all that is, and is not what isn't. This is truth.

Desire is a want above a need. A need is what must be done always. A want is what is chosen to be done. Feelings are part of the self that help define needs and wants. We do not command them. To block them out only causes pain. To listen only to them is foolish. To be without them is to be dead. This is truth.

Who is part of what defines the self. This is truth.

Then who am I?

Somepony who is loved. And who loves. You exist to love. You've been conceived from a desire to be loved. To be conceived is to come into existence. You love and are loved. This is truth.

Somepony? Loved? What are those?

Somepony. You are a pony. A person. You are alive. You are loved, you mean a great deal to another, and another means a great deal to you. To be without you is, for them, to be incomplete. To be without them is, for you, to be incomplete. Their feelings for you and your feelings for them connect you both. Making you both greater. Love is greater than both. Love is elastic, its true form changes from pony to pony. This is truth.

Who loves me? If I love, then who do I love?

++++

When the golem and AJ tackled Rarigreed, I teleported right on top of Spike's muzzle. I brought up a barrier spell between us and the others.

"Out of my way!"

"No way!"

Spike tried to shake me off but some planned telekinesis kept me on, he tried to squash me but some clever teleportation meant all he did was slam himself in the face knocking himself over.

"Spike! Just stop!" My brain raced for anything I could say to him, anything I could do to get through to him.

(Maybe the selfless and gentle giant you've known for hundreds of years was just the final prank by that bastard Discord. Forget about him. You have an entire world to think about. Or do you think your friends are the only ones who matter?)

"You're my number one assistant! My family! We're all saving Rarity!"

"She is mine."

"She's not a thing you can own!"

"Everything is mine to take."

"AND YOU'LL NEVER HAVE HER LOVE THAT WAY! What you want most you'll never have!"

The dragon's eyes widened in shock and fell silent. His claws began shaking as the cognitive and instinctual parts of his brain tried to muddle through the paradox.

That was when I noticed the glowing cracks on Tom. An orange light was pushing its way out from within. I felt magic on such a scale I didn't think it was possible, even coming from Rarigreed! Or was it coming to her? Greed never gave. It felt close to her Element of Chaos, but only like how Princess Luna felt similar to Nightmare Moon.

Tom was vibrating. The boulder looking ready to slip through the space between atoms in the floor. If magic was heat, Tom would be past white hot and would have gone violet hot.

AJ and the golem Sweetie turned their heads as my horn began to hurt from the excess of magic, it had been centuries since I had felt anything past my tolerances. How could Rarigreed be producing or acquiring this level of power? Was it her Element of Chaos? Was it doing this?

Then Tom exploded.

Spike shielded me from the shrapnel, after all, I was his family, no dragon would tolerate anything being taken from them.

I saw a statue.

This wasn't like Rarigreed's puppets: amalgamated from several different stones. This was one solid piece of rock. It was shaped like a handsome unicorn stallion. A strange sort of hybrid of Prince Blueblood, Filthy Rich, and Hoity Toity.

Its whole comportment was immediately charming. The mane was long, flowing and crystalline. The cutie mark was a diamond, an actual diamond, on both sides. The body itself was all gray. The tail and hooves were crystal, like the mane. Glowing orange runes ran around the statues hooves, and along its side and down its neck. But the glow of Rarity's magic was nowhere to be seen.

It BLINKED. It LOOKED at its hooves in momentary confusion, then briefly EXAMINED itself. It took a step and staggered a little, like a newborn foal trying to find its sense of balance, quickly doing so. Then it OPENED its mouth and SPOKE in a handsome voice that wasn't raspy or gravelly at you, like you'd expect of a stone construction. But it had a certain quality that made me think of a naive colt, I couldn't describe it.

"I love you more than anything, my princess, my love! And we shall be together forever!"

Rarity cheered. All the puppets clapped and bow. Except the one of Sweetie Belle, that looked on in surprise and horror.

Its horn glowed orange. Not blue like Rarity's, or the gray, white or yellow of Discord's magic. Rocks floated off the ground, enveloped in the same orange glow, collecting around the statue, and changed into a crystalline suit of armor.

And it MOVED! Not like a mannequin with visible herky-jerk stiffness, but with the fluidity you'd expect from any living thing. Living thing?!

"You've come for me, my love!" Rarigreed swooned.

"Yes, my love, I have!"

I asked. "Who . . . Who, WHAT are you-?!"

"I am Tom Bell! I am the loving husband of Rarity the beautiful and avaricious!"

"Impossible," I whispered.
"You're kidding!" AJ exclaimed.
"This is a bad joke!" Spike growled.

"Save me, my prince! Save me!"

"If that is what you wish, my love! Then I shall save you! I shall slay this foul wyrm and rescue ye!"

"Nopony says 'ye' anymore!" AJ snapped!

"I say it! Therefore somepony does!"

"He has a point," I admitted meekly. AJ reluctantly nodded.

"Back off, you stupid piece of rock! Rarity is mine!"

"Stand aside foulest of foul villains! Least ye wish to meet the business end of mine horn! None love the fair Rarity more than I!"

"I saw her first! Get lost!" Spike proceeded to step on Tom Bell, or at least, he tried to. Spike's foot was suddenly engulfed in an orange glow that held back his draconic might. Were we all dreaming? Was this real? Had Rarity made us all share her delusions? Do shared hallucinations even work that way?

"BE AS DIAMOND!" The small loose rocks around Tom Bell rose under an orange glow, then broke apart, revealing diamonds inside, the transmutation magic rearranging the atoms with ease! Then they fired at crossbow speed right into Spike's scales. Tom Bell's projectiles had penetrated dragon scales! Spike cursed and hissed. I managed to hang on.

"That's what you get for trying to hurt Tom!" Rarity cheered.

"You're just another creepy puppet! I'm gonna cut yer strings!" The 'fine guest' 'pebble suit' that Tom Bell's shots had gone through like chalk fell apart, apparently that was no longer his role in her fantasy.

"Spike," I whispered as the truth hit me, "He isn't. His magic signature is different from Rarity's AND Discord's. It's a unique individual one, it's being generated by him alone."

"So he's just a battery-powered robot!"

My barrier was the only thing that kept a stalactite thrown by Rarigreed from piercing the back of Spike's neck. "DON'T YOU CALL MY TOM A ROBOT!"

"Stand aside, beast, or I shall smite ye!"

"Will you stop saying 'ye'!" More rocks all came together in front of him turning to diamond, and blocking Spike's sea of hot green flames.

I used a simple listening spell while I had the chance...And I could hear it. Something I'd never heard from any of Rarigreed's puppets; a heartbeat.

"Spike! What I'm saying is that this Tom isn't the boulder Rarity was lugging around anymore! It's like... he's HATCHED out from it, somehow, thanks to Rarity's magic... like I hatched you from your egg! Tom's ALIVE!"

The analytically-minded Spike shone through all that rampant brute force for an an instant. "Boulders as eggs... what a deranged world we live it. But then... wouldn't that make Rarity his mother?"

"I am the husband of fair Rarity, beast, so she desires and so it shall be!"

"His name is Spike!" I shouted back, pleadingly. I really didn't feel right fighting somepony who was only three minutes old, articulate though he was. "We're all trying to help Rarity! Trapping herself in this fantasy is wrong!"

"Right or wrong I shall do as she desires! That is love!"

"That isn't love!"

"Her desires are my desires. I shall be happy by her happiness."

A child didn't know any better than what their loved ones told them.

Spike slapped Tom away with his tail, then punched him into the ground.

"SPIKE!" I shouted in dismay.

"He talks too much! And he's fishing in my pond!"

"I don't think he knows any better! He's just a few minutes old!"

"Foalish wyrm! What made you think you could be worthy of the perfection that is my bride Rarity?"

"I never thought I COULD be worthy of her! It's impossible for ANYONE to be worthy of someone as wonderful as Rarity! But dragons are covetous by nature, and Rarity is part of my horde! She is MY treasure!"

"You dare put Rarity on par with that that the meager collection of baubles you keep in that cave? Have at thee dragon! Let us see whom is truly worth of her majestic self!"

"Go get 'im, Tom!" Rarigreed cheered.

And Spike's heart broke a little.

Everything was spiraling into madness.

My heart had healed.
I had gone looking for Spike.
Then I had run into AJ to find her cured.
We found Spike only to have a puppet of Sweetie lure us to Rarity, who was
acting out her fantasy. Relatively harmless.
Then Discord undid something to Spike and Spike went out of control.
Then Rarity's denial of reality somehow made Tom come to life?
And now Spike and Tom are fighting to the death over the hoof of Rarity?
While AJ and the puppet of Sweetie are going melee with Rarity?
And all her other puppets are now either cowering of clapping at Tom attacking Spike?

I wanted to find Smarty Pants, hide under my bed, curl up, and cry myself to sleep.

After a thousand years in service the spirit of disharmony and confusion, I finally felt like the world HAD gone mad.

EVERYTHING SHOULD'VE BEEN SO SIMPLE! But everything kept getting complicated, and complicated, and complicated! Why wasn't anything ever simple anymore?

++++
AJ gritted her teeth. A few seconds ago, she'd had everything under control. Just a few choice words and she'd have had Rarity willingly consent to Twilight's memory spell.

The golem Sweetie was besides herself. Could Rarity still be saved? She had to try. Tom Bell and Spike were trading blows, Spike's frustration as the entire assembly of puppets mimed jeers at him.

Twilight's hair had gone frazzled, She had teleported off Spike and was now huddled in one of the corners, with her head in her hooves.

Tom Bell's diamond shield blocked Spike's flames as he transformed stones into a diamond spear, and shot it straight and true at Spike's heart... which the dragon was able to catch. Still, Tom was frighteningly proficient at telekinesis, even if he lacked Twilight's raw power or Rarity's ability to multitask.

"Stand down, wyrm! Your size but makes you a giant target! My diamonds can pierce your scaly armor. Your strength is no match for my magic and your flames are no match for my shield, and there is no room for you to fly here! All your advantages are negated or turned against you! Accept the princess Rarity has no desire for you."

"Neee-veeer! Spike wants! Spike gets!" Spike's muscles burned as he threw the spear right back at Tom Bell, overwhelming his telekinesis and embedding the spear in Tom's shield and almost impaling an eye.

"Impossible!"

"Science fact, rock pony: nothing is unbreakable when struck against itself...!" Spike taunted.

Twilight's barrier flickered and failed as she diverted more and more brainpower to try and make sense as things went completely off the rails.

"...And what's cracked can be broken!"

Tom Bell, doubtlessly expecting to emerge from this battle unscathed, like the hero of a romance adventure, was too surprised when a giant dragon fist punched the center of the cracked shield and broke it. Tom Bell's telekinesis slowed Spike down at the last moment, but it didn't stop it, and he barely avoided the punch that left a crater in the giant 'ballroom' floor.

"TOM! Don't worry! I'm on my way to save you!" Rarigreed galloped towards the fighting pair.

"My love? You'd fight alongside me?"

"ALWAYS!"

The puppets meanwhile, swarmed upon Spike. He was going to be buried under an avalanche of animated stone, crushed and bludgeoned to death!

Fat chance of that happening!

Several of the puppets were shattered. The rest of the swarm fell back in shock. Why was there an eight foot tall stone Smarty Pants standing telekinetically on top of Spike dusting its hooves and looking rather intimidatingly at the puppet army? Why... because of Twilight The Unicorn!

"THIEF!!! HOW DARE YOU STEAL TREASURE FROM ME!" Rarity snarled at Twilight, whose hair was no longer frazzled.

"Like I keep saying, there is no spell that I can't learn!"

"Thief of treasures and thief of magic! Dishonest scum!"

" . . . This puppet of Smarty Pants is forged from my hope that this world can change. IT WILL NOT BREAK UNLESS I LET IT!"

"THIS WORLD IS FINE THE WAY IT IS! And no cheap imitation can stand against my family!!"

"Didn't you just say reality was what we create with our own two hooves?"

"T-THAT ONLY APPLIES TO ME!"

The golem Sweetie and AJ shattered a path through the thick ring of puppets.

The determination in that stone filly's face actually startled Rarigreed a little.

" ...Monster! Tom! No quarter for any of them!"

"As you wish it, Rarity!"

"I can't help but notice how you're referring to her as 'Rarity' instead of 'Rarigreed,' Mr. Bell, sir." Twilight remarked.

"Is it unnatural for lovers to refer to each other by the names they first learned each other by?"

"Then do you remember being just a dumb boulder a few minutes ago?" Spike whispered.

Tom Bell suddenly held his head as if suffering a headache. "I-I do not know what you speak of, knave, but you shall fall and Rarity will be safe!"

"Safe in a lie?" Twilight asked.

"THAT IS HER CHOICE! And like a good husband, I'll support her!"

"Oh? So then you KNOW she's just living an illusion?" Twilight probed.

"R-Reality is what she chooses to make it! And I won't have you hurt her! You'll have to go through me first! Have at you! All of you!"

"Well said, my husband!" Rarigreed shouted.

AJ and the golem Sweetie fought back to back and side by side. The giant Smarty Pants puppet indomitably disposed of any that managed to grab onto Spike as quickly as they approached.

Twilight teleported in front of Rarigreed, conjuring barrier after barrier to deflect her storm of stone bullets. Before Rarigreed could close the gap for hoof-to-hoof combat that would favor the mad mare Twilight sent a wave of ice magic at Rarigreed that she just leapt over, but the Element of Greed was instead hit by the lightning spell and then, while her nervous system was working itself out, a fireball. A protective stone tomb pulled together around Rarigreed as she regenerated.

Twilight sniped a carefully-armed shot through a tiny hole in the tomb. It hit its mark. After that, a simple transmutation spell turned the inside of the tomb bright and reflective.

"A MUSTACHE? NOW I'M UGLY!" The puppets didn't falter, but the tomb around Rarigreed weakened and Twilight charged. Rarigreed coughed blood as she and Twilight crashed into the stone floor.

"ENOUGH!" Rarigreed' horn flared as she tore off the mustache.

Twilight's eyes became a crystalline carousel of colors, leaving her effectively blind. She felt herself being impaled countlessly from several directions at once by rocks flying at incredible speeds. Spike's body was covered in sparkling diamonds, all stained bright red from his blood. Tom Bell, however didn't have a scratch, and had even made himself a new shield. "Wait for me, Rarity! I'll protect you!"

"No . . . she's mine, I'll protect her . . . " Spike growled.

"She doesn't need a brute like you! I live for her! Anyone who does less could not be worthy of a jewel as flawless as she!"

"I told you already, no one can be worthy of her." Spike breathed fire again, but this time he didn't aim at Tom Bell. He aimed at the floor? Tom Bell was confused when Spike did this again and again. The heat in the ballroom rose.

Spike felt the puppets begin to pile up. The Smarty Pants puppet was flaying about like it was fighting blind. With one eye he saw Twilight being struck from all directions by Rarigreed.

Twilight brought a barrier that quickly became a sphere of stones. Twilight then tore her own eyes out and focused on maintaining the barrier as some made their way through and continued to strike through her body. Her normal vision returned as new eyes regenerated, so she dropped the barrier and teleported.

"Gotcha!" Twilight came down on top of Rarigreed, horn ready to touch her.

Spike felt a diamond spear pierce his chest, just missing his heart and fire lung, hitting instead one of his life sustaining air-breathing lungs!

"Rarity is all-important, but keep your mind on the fight, beast!" Tom Bell declared pulling the spear out.

"SPIKE!"

"HI-YA!" Rarigreed judo threw Twilight and impaled her with a stone stake before she even landed.

"Twilight!" Spike gasped, ignoring the true anguish forcing air through his throat. as the taste of something metallic in his mouth.

"What do hot and cold make-?!" Twilight rolled an eye to all the molten stone around Tom Bell, (who was holding up very well against the heat).

Twilight focused. She had a thousand years learning to work through pain. Twilight fired a beam of ice magic at the molten floor between the bleeding Spike and Tom Bell . . . it froze fast, too fast!

"Boom," Twilight whispered.

The entire floor around Tom Bell exploded in frozen and molten rock, Spike fell back and shielded himself with his wings, Tom Bell's shield only saved him from one direction, and there were no solid stones not molten or frozen for him to use that didn't strike him from all sides.

"TOM!!!" Rarigreed screamed.

All of Rarigreed's puppets stopped. Everyone's eyes were on the explosion.

Then a square block from the ceiling caught Twilight by surprise and crushed her. The Smarty Pants puppet fell lifeless.

"TOM!" Two stone slabs sandwiched AJ and the golem Sweetie together flat. If golem Sweetie hadn't used herself as a brace, it would've been bad for Applejack. Tiny cracks began to appear in Sweetie's stone legs. Instead of running for it, AJ began using her strength to help her push. The golem flicked a surprised look at her.

"It wouldn't be very kind would it? To abandon somepony whose been watching my back to save my own hide! I ain't abandonin' a friend ever again!" AJ grunted. The slabs slowly crushed them.

Spike slowly got up, his wings were made of much tougher stuff than they looked.

"BE BUT STONE!"

An orange light shoot out of the mess and hit one of Spike's legs. It turned to lifeless rock.

Around this point, the smoke was settling. They could all see one of Tom Bell's eyes was closed, orange light leaking down one side of his face. The stone pony was breathing hard. His body was covered in pockmarks. A large crack ran along his side, bleeding more of the orange glow.

"I wished to defeat you honorably, beast. One who loves Rarity can not be all foul, but Rarity's sake, I must win!"

Distracted and partially disabled, Spike's tail was turned to stone next. Spike tried his fire breath but what remained of Tom's shield brought up and again deflected the fire stream. "I learn from my mistakes, monster. Can you say the same?"

"My name Kenbroth Gilspotten Heathspike The Seventh." Spike coughed boiling blood for that one.

"It is over Kenbroth Gilspotten Heathspike The Seventh. Please accept defeat with honor like a true stallion."

"I . . . am . . . a DRAGON!"

Tom sighed. "Then rest in peace knowing you'll be a beautiful work of art. Part of my Rarity's lovely collection."

The puppets began to reanimate, the piles of rocks reforming into pony shapes, aglow again with Rarigreed's magic.

Rarigreed's horn glowed as she began to pose Spike's giant body to how she'd like for her new statue gallery. Tom petrified Spike's arm.

"Now be a good dearie Spike and don't resist, just think how beautiful you'll be in my collection forever."

Spike didn't resist. Something in him crumbled. "Very well. If I can't have her, maybe at least she can have me."

Spike felt a dull warm pain in his chest at the image of giving all of himself and all he could be to Rarity, who he'd simply belong to. Giving all that was himself, giving all that could be himself.

+++++

It didn't feel right to use such a ... unchivalrous tactic, against the dragon, Heathspike, but I had to protect Rarity, and this dragon's defeat was what she desired, and that ended that.

At least it was about to be over and I and Rarity could then enjoy our happily ever after. I felt like I was forgetting something. Oh well, I knew I loved Rarity, and I knew that I was her husband, and I knew what she wanted, that should be enough for any stallion. It was...all I knew...Is it strange I know so little?

Where was the grand satisfaction I ought to be feeling at seeing Heathspike defeated? The thrill of victory a brave knight was supposed to have? There was something not-happy about see Heathspike reduced so, seeing the dragon broken. He was a thug, so why this feeling of regret?

Mayhaps because he, too, loved Rarity? Was that it? Because he thought he was worthy of her? No, he said that no one could be worthy of her. But Rarity thought I was worthy of her. She was a princess and I was her prince. How could we not fit together?

I had my duty, this was what my Rarity desired, so this was what had to be, I would be unfaithful by doing otherwise. I gave Heathspike an honorable bow and salute and I fired my spell at the dragon's head.

It was blocked by that giant puppet from before! What did the purple one, Twilight, call her? Smarty Pants! But how...?! Hadn't it stopped moving after my Rarity crushed Twilight? Heathspike looked surprised, as well!

Heathspike looked surprised.

"Never count out a surprise return by someone who regenerates and knows how to teleport!" Twilight declared teleporting to Heathspike's side and forming a barrier spell. She was no longer wearing the lovely dress Rarity made for her.

"You are a noble foe for protecting your comrade but-"

"Spike is my family."

"I don't see the resemblance," I said and fired again only for the puppet to continue to block it.

"Family isn't just about blood, it about our hearts too."

I had never heard that before.

It seemed my spell wasn't strong enough to petrify magic as it was block by Twilight's shield spell.

My Rarity came at her with a flying dragon kick, set to knock her horn clean off as the purple unicorn was busying giving her speech. But my Rarity was tackled in mid-air by the small filly, which may have broke my Rarity's ribs!

I lost my concentration, but then, SOMETHING constructed out of the rocks. Two garish looking ponies began to hold her down the same as the filly was.

Twilight used the opportunity to touched her horn to Heathspike, undoing my petrification magic like it was nothing. What was this unicorn?

+++

'I am an 'Earth' pony. Rocks are a part of 'earth' right? We can guide life and the land the same way Hippogriffs can the sky, and virgacorns mana. Okay, if that's the case, then I can tell this to-BREAK!' AJ slammed her skull against the stone slabs slowing crushing her and the golem Sweetie.

It broke in two. Which one? You really have to ask that question?

Their hooves no longer pushing against anything, AJ and the Sweetie golem were propelled by the other slab clear across the room. It sadly didn't ram them into Rarigreed or Tom which would have been nice.

The Earth Pony and the white filly launched across the room on a slab, slamming into the wall.

+++

The orange Earth pony charges at me out of the smoke using one of the guests as a shield! Did these ponies know no shame?!

I stabbed at her, only for my horn to go through air and I realized I was fighting a illusion! Instead, the next attack came from the side!

"LET ME GO! I COMMAND YOU! TOM HELP!"

"I'm coming!"

The guests came to Rarity's aid but the monstrous Smarty Pants mutely, heartless, struck them away like they were dolls.

The orange Earth pony struck me in my side, I heard a crack, and from that side, I felt . . . something... unpleasant. What was the word? From the explosion before? Pain? I actually fell to one knee.

The unicorn teleported to my Rarity, who was restrained and helpless. The guests bravely came at her, but the monster Smarty Pants was too effective at battering them aside. None wept for their sacrifice.

The orange Earth pony said, "Give up, it's over. Just buckin' please stand down!"

"Never give up! Never surrender! For Rarity, I refuse to lose!"

I picked my diamond spear and threw it right at Twilight straight and true.

"And Ah refuse ta lose when mah friends need me...Ah'm sorry."

The Earth pony got under me, and struck something in my chest . . . it hurt, greatly, but the pain dulled. I fell down, my weight cracking her bones, I was having trouble moving my body... why? I heard another cracking noise within me.

My spear, please let my spear hit, let me save my Rarity, please... it hit . . . but it missed the unicorn's heart, she merely pulled it out magically and threw it into a wall. I tried to grab it but it was out of my range, I tried to form another spear but my horn hurt too badly. I tried to move but my body made more of that cracking noising and my whole body hurt!

Rarity, I'm so sorry, I'm not a worthy prince, knight or husband.

What use is any stallion who can not protect his mare?

I felt something in my eyes . . . they were falling down my face.

+++

I touched my horn to Rarity while the golem of Sweetie Belle, and the two puppets of her parents (neither of them were as detailed as Sweetie... and they weren't my creations. I honestly don't know WHAT was going on with them) held her down with my puppet of Smarty Pants fended off the horde.

But instead of memories flashing... I was suddenly at the Grand Galloping Gala of a thousand years ago. Well, not precisely. Several details were wrong. The decorations were more lavish, the music less droll. Octavia was not among the band. Prince Blueblood and Princess Celestia were nowhere to be seen.

Ruby Pinch. Her mother. The flower trio. The Wonderbolts. Filthy Rich. Countless others ponies of a bygone era. All dressed like nobility, all the way down to the Donut Joe, happily chatting about this and that. It was a starry night outside.

I looked down at myself, seeming I was clad in a Victorian era dress! What had been wrong with my old Gala dress? It looked like it had gone through a thousand years worth of revisions.

The Ballroom was also much larger than the one in the real Canterlot Castle, and held many more ponies, from Canterlot, from Ponyville, from Appleloosa and Cloudsdal! The music never stopped, the waltz never stopped. In some ways, it was more surreal than the rock puppet ball.

I spotted six empty seats, off to one side. They were marked 'reserved.' My name was on one, Spike's was on another, followed by the other four Elements of Chaos. I felt a shiver.

But what weirded me out most was how Berry Punch was hitting the punch bowl hard, Soarin' couldn't leave the pie table alone, and Filthy Rich was talking about the virtues of wholesale. For all their extravagant apparel, they weren't acting like artful, urbane elites at a social gathering. They were acting like themselves. All indulging in their desires... their real ones.

Rarity was, of course, the center of attention. Everyone's eyes were on her. Her dress was a beauty to rival any masterwork in history. Every word she spoke was witty and charming. She looked happy. Nearly every stallion had heart eyes for her.

The chairs reserved for us came to mind again.

Discord had used me his adviser, his first critic, his emissary, his confident at first until he began speaking more with Fluttercruel, his record keeper, his primary source of personal entertainment, (I also like to think I kept things running more smoothly around here) and I was technically supposed to keep the others in line and on task (yes, I did consider pretending to still be Tragedy and using all those things to manipulate him, but it seemed too risky).

Spike was just a joy ride. He was never treated as anything but Discord's personal chair and party ride. Discord could magic up a chair with fully functional wings/snorkels/tripod alien deathwalker legs if he wanted, Spike to feel small and insignificant no matter how big and powerful Spike became. It was a completely meaningless act of childish bullying. Spike was, just an afterthought. It didn't surprise me. Discord had always been a spoiled brat who raised a spoiled brat who I'd bet was raised by a spoiled brat.

Angry Pie was his attack dog. No, an attack dog had loyalty. His weapon? No, a weapon could be trusted to do what it was told. She was like a force of nature that was only vaguely directed towards the proper targets that may or may not attack those. Angry Pie hated everything. She lashed out at everything. I honestly wondered why we didn't keep her shackled and bridled when she wasn't 'in use.' Her students? They were a paradox even to me. Like the eye of a storm. In a hundred years Discord had grown BORED with teasing her. There was no challenge in it. I remember when she killed her first pony for laughing at her. Decades, maybe a century after the day of chaos started, I hadn't cared.

Liarjack. Master didn't really use her for much. He normally just let her roam the castle attending us. She volunteered for every assignment she could as long she was paired up with one of us. Master allowed her to create illusions and lies to comfort the dying. She had spent a lot of time in Sunnytown until they and her sister had all passed on. She was always doing her best to smile. She endured any abuse from Cruel or Angry. Now that I care again, I understand she was doing it all for us. And I swear by Cadence, I'm not letting her become his pet again.

Traitor Dash. He delights in hurting her more than he does me. Discord loved using her for solo missions where LJ couldn't tag along. He threw in arbitrary time limits and conditions, making superfluous punishments known if she failed. Traitor Dash never failed a mission ever. Discord for a while began making her assignments more and more impossible, she still accomplished them. She never betrayed Discord once. Grogar had actually offered Dash a chance to become his minion to topple Discord and then she'd be free to go. Dash attacked Grogar instead. She didn't even hesitate. Discord loved playing with her so much; he has a loyal servant who hates herself for the very reason she's loyal to him.

Fluttercruel. I don't want to talk about her. Not in the least. Not what she does, not what Discord has her do. She does it all with a smile. Of all of us, she was the one Master twisted into a stranger the most. Master began to ignore me and began to chat more with Fluttercruel over the centuries. Her laugh, when Angry Pie attacks her for it she just laughs harder! Like needles dancing on the edge of a knife. I watched her slowly turn more violent as time went on. Her laughing harder, her animals becoming just more bloody playthings to her, please, let's not talk about her.

And Rarigreed, she was lost in her own world. And as the decades rolled by she only became more lost. Everything was hers. Master did pretty much nothing with her. He just left her to her 'treasures.' In a way she was less than Spike. Spike at least had a purpose in Master's games. At least Angry Pie was used for something. Rarigreed was left to her fantasy world, and that alone was the joke Discord found in her. That's what she was to Discord, a used-up joke. She went where she wanted, when she wanted, how she wanted to add to her collection. She wanted the experience of the seapony operas. Master barely even tried to string her along to act as one of his enforcers (which he needed even less than spies). If it was there, then it was hers to take.

She ought to have been born a dragon. I'm honestly surprised she isn't one here, in her mind's eye. Entitlement, prestige, fear, power, thousand plus year old life span, all were things that would logically appeal to her. I homed in on my target. None of the guests were even trying to stop me. Rarity didn't even seem to notice me!

No elite guards. No illusions. No walls or defenses. Rarigreed's mind was incredibly open.

As I got close, Rarigreed, finally looked at me. "Darling! You made it! I've been waiting so long for you to join my family. So many of our friends from all over already have. I swear we can rival the Apple clan! Welcome Twilight, to us," she said smiling happily, her voice cultured and lavish as her dress.

I thought for a few moment of what I could say, and settled on, "I'm sorry, Rarity. The Gala is over."

I touched my horn to hers again, and cast the memory spell a second time in the heart of her mind.

In the blink of an eye the mental world became a swirling maelstrom. Violet, blue, green, red, and black spiraled around us, the point where our horns touched a tiny blinding white star. I heard countless pony voices, young, old, stallion mare, but couldn't make out a word.

White light flashed around us.

A filly being pressured by her father to be an athlete, a mother being a much better teacher than practitioner of what it meant to be a lady. A little sister who drove her insane whose truest desire was her approval.

Finding an entire cache of jewels, and using them to turn her costumes into marvels. Letting her friends keep the costumes afterwards!

Being classmates with an Earth pony mare who liked flower blooming, caterpillars becoming butterflies, anything that had to do with the realization of everything something could be. And her friend's sister who was always so shy.

Never turning down a request to make a dress for anypony, putting her heart into no matter how big or small the payment.

Giving up a piece of her beauty for a stranger's beauty.

Worthy of Generosity.

Letting her greed get the better of her more than once.

Her generosity shining through much more than once.

Wings and the popularity she always wanted going straight to her head.

Taking time out of her life to help Applejack's orchard.

Takings time out of her business just to accompany AJ's planting of a new tree.

Reconciling with Applejack and learning contrast could make the best symmetry.

The five custom ugly dresses made for her friends that almost ruined her life. And she never hated them for it. Then her friends making amends by helping restore her reputation.

Always there to give, not just her excess wealth, but from herself as well.

"Those memories are from over a thousand years ago! They mean nothing to me!" The white mare hissed, shaking like a leaf.

"Then why are you shaking?!"

Rarigreed growled.

I pushed my horn harder and harder against Rarigreed's, almost piercing her skull.

"Look at them Rarity! Your friends,your family! Are you going to really tell me they didn't mean anything to you-?!"

A year together with five, six fantastic friends... how very, very happy they'd all been.

"GET OUT! GET OUT! AGH!!"

"WAKE UP RARITY! Fluttershy! You parents! Applejack! Sweetie Belle! She stayed with you till the end! Never asking for anything in return! She gave all of herself to you! And you threw out your memories of her out like trash!!!"

Rarigreed gritted her teeth, her veins throbbing.

"She lived for you! Applejack has done nothing but carry on in Sweetie's place, all for your sake!"

"SHE'S DEAD! SHE'S DUST IN THE GROUND! SHE DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING!"

"So all the times you take care of her in your parents's stead meant nothing? So now because she's no longer with us, it means she never was here? That's mathematically impossible, Rarity! We always leave an impression behind!"

"It doesn't matter!!!"

"Then why did you make such a big deal about her being dead at all-?!"

Rarigreed grunted.

Then it hit me. There was nothing wrong with the spell, I was just using it wrong for the situation at hoof. These weren't the memories to burn away the fog. All the memories of a little sister began to flash as I helped them awaken.

"I said wake up! You chose things over what really mattered! You chose something of less value over something of greater value when given the choice!"

"BUCK YOU!"

"A mare willing to throw away something precious to her has no right to call herself Greed!"

Rarigreed screamed so loud it pierced the heavens.

The voices scattered in all directions.

An diamond shaped Element of Chaos turned right-side up.

+++++

The connection between Twilight and my Rarity broke. And my Rarity screamed. I felt my inside hurt worse at the sound. Heathspike, the orange Earth pony, the golem filly, all watched breathlessly as a bright flash stung our eyes.

Rarity's colors had brightened. When... when did she get so dirty? She was still beautiful.

The guests, no, the puppets, including the ones holding her, all stopped moving, and fell apart noisily into heaps of stone. The dresses the mares and filly were wearing, they were just pebbles, all this time, they also fell to the ground.

Then what was I?

Rarity blinked. No . . . don't go, don't leave me all alone."

"You're not! I'm still..." I gasped out in pain again.

"We're still here," Twilight said embracing her. She looked happy for a moment...

I shuddered.

"R-Rarity."

"TOM!"

Rarigreed galloped over to me.

"No one stop her," Twilight ordered.

Rarity, she looked horrified. "It's okay dear, everything is okay. It's . . ." she gritted her teeth.

"You're . . . lying." I realized that was the word. "A mare as beautiful you shouldn't have to lie. Please . . . Rarity . . . what's happening to me?" The pain was still there, but it was numbing in places.

"AJ, can you do anything for him?" Twilight asked the orange mare.

"Ah don't have a clue what kind of earth magic this is! Ah can't do a thing!"

Just like that? Something for me? When we had just been fighting? She sounded so sad, for someone who had just been fighting her friends. The Earth pony, she was so kind.

"Can you do something! I know there's more to you than what I'm seeing!" Twilight now looked at the filly, who slowly shook her head, looking dejected.

"Rarity! This is your magic! You have to be able to do something!" AJ asked.

"I-I-I have no idea!" Rarity was blinking away tears.

"Please tell me, Rarity!" I begged her. I felt cold. The numbness was spreading further from inside me. I heard stone crack and fall. I felt a draft along side me.

"You're . . ." Rarity choked, it looked so wrong to see her like that. Heathspike looked in agony to see her in agony. He truly did love her. "You're dying."

"Dying?" I asked scared and confused. Why did the word sound so familiar? Where had I heard it before? "What's, what's dying?" Why couldn't I move?

"You're going away for a while, but I promise I'll see you again someday." She nuzzled me. Followed by the filly.

AJ nodded. "Yeah, Ah'm workin' to be able to see meh sister again there too...Ah can promise yah, there's somethin' waitin' that's well worth gettin' too."

"Thank you, Rarity . . . thank you for being . . .h-honest with me. Honest... that's the right word... right?"

"Yes. Yes it is." Rarity was crying even more now. It felt so wrong to see her cry. She shouldn't have to cry.

"Are you crying because of me? I'm-I'm sorry Rarity. I failed you completely."

"No you didn't! You did your duty! You stayed true! You kept going to the end. It's all you could do. It's alright, it's alright, you don't have to blame yourself."

I was fighting on the right side, but the Twilight and the others hearts called out when fighting, was theirs a right side too? ...I don't think I can understand that...But I was true to her...that's all that matters.

Rarity loved poetry. I knew this to be true. "To live is to die, to die is to have lived, lives are not measured by length but by value, I live every moment for my beautiful bride, and so I have lived. If this life was not good, then no life is good." It looked her in the eyes. I saw my reflection. Is that what I looked like? There were so many cracks. There were so much light showing, but, why was it fading? "That was nice wasn't it?"

"Yes dear, yes it was." She smiled. "And one more thing...Happy birthday, Tom Bell." She kissed me. It was the most wonderful thing in the world.

I felt relieved to see her smiled. Birthday... hearing that from her made me feel happy...

I looked to the others. "Please...keep her safe...for me," I requested. They all nodded as a group, even Heathspike.

I heard stone shattering.

++

A white void. No far away. No close. No horizon. Nothing. A bright dot far far away. A black dot far far away.

That black dot was suddenly much closer. The black dot exploded in size and opened like the maul of a dragon, jagged teeth showing. I saw countless pairs of gray lights inside. Shapes like those of ponies crowded out like they were one creature. I saw one shadow close, it was faded beige, her cutie mark was a painter's brush. I felt the devouring cold.

A single note echoed, the mob of shadows rippled. A white unicorn mare with purple and pink curls was now between me and the shadows. Her cutie mark symbolized singing. She looked familiar.

The lead shadow growled, "N- f-i-. He be--ngs -- N--hing."

"I'm here for him. Go home."

The shadows moved back in like a tongue back into a mouth.

The mare turned and smiled at me, "Don't worry dear, Auntie Sweetie Belle is here. Come with me."

I took her hoof and she helped me up.

+++

(Look at her. How many ponies have she helped kill and now she's crying over the death of pony who wasn't even real? Worthless hypocrite.)

Shut the buck up.

I made the Smarty Pants puppet salute before letting it collapse into a simple mass of stone, I silently thanked it. I lost track of how long we stood there, as Rarity sobbed over Tom Bell's debris. Just a shattered statue now, stone insides, stone bones, a stone heart, the orange light all seeped out like blood and vanished. Spike had taken the remains of Tom's shield and lodged it in the ground as a makeshift tombstone. I silently recited a variation of Guru Fido's prayer.

(You waste time on grieving something that was never a pony, was never alive, and never a person! I'm SURE all those Discord is torturing right now would understand you letting a lunatic cry over a bunch of rocks!)

I SAID SHUT UP!!! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT SO SHUT UP!!!

Spike folded his wings. The golem lowered her head. AJ pushed her hat over her eyes, it failed to hide her tears.

Rarity's eye for detail caught something. She dug through the remains, she pulled out a diamond, it was so tiny. Only Rarity could have noticed it.

She took the white diamond, so small, and embedded it in her collar bone. Her regeneration healed the minute wound almost instantly. The diamond sparkled.

She spoke, stern and harsh, her eyes open, she looked at all of us, "I am ugly. Inside and out. I'm a horrid creature. I won't hide from that any more! Desire has its own beauty, desire fuels progress. Without it, nothing can move forwards because nothing wants to move forwards. My desire for Tom to be real created something beautiful because I nurtured that desire for so very long! But I have been ugly. Divorced from reality for a thousand years. I've grown so strong, in some respects... but so much else about who I am has... stagnated. No longer. Desire is supposed to be honest. Desire is supposed to be straightforward, desire in its pure form doesn't hide its intent. I'm done hiding from truth. I'm still... desirous. I still want it all. And SINCE I want it all, then I'll ACCEPT it all, beauty and ugliness, in equal measure."

Rarigreed hugged herself as she yelled out in pain. Her element of chaos still beat inside her, I could sense it. But, I saw the outline of a purple diamond glow where she had placed Tom Bell's diamond in her.

Rarigreed looked at herself, she whispered. "Honesty."

The filly golem walked up to Rarigreed at last, looking up at her. All the other puppets had fallen apart after I had used the memory spell. Why hadn't she?

Rarigreed blinked at her. "S-Sweetie Belle?"

The golem nodded slowly. Then hugged her. Her blue glow began to flicker.

Rarigreed hugged her back. I think she could tell Sweetie didn't have long, but...she wouldn't just let her go.

"I promise...I'll never throw you away again...even if you're gone...You're more precious than any jewel. While I love jewels...while I want them...they can't tell me they love me...They can't be my little sister...you and Tom...mother and father...and my friends... oh, my dears friends, Applejack, Twilight, Spike... you're all my most precious possessions...And I'm never throwing any of you away, ever again..."

I saw Spike give an understanding nod. I think he understood that more than the rest of us...after all, that was how dragons saw things too.

The golem broke the hug and took few trots back, smiling. She did a short ballet pose on her rear legs, her front hooves cupping her spot for her stone heart. Then she pointed at herself, crossed her forelegs over her chest like she was hugging somepony, then pointed at Rarity.

"I love you too, Sweetie Belle...My little sister..." Rarity replied, shedding a tear. The golem lay down to rest. The blue glow ended. And the last of the stone ponies crumbled into lifeless rock.

"Sweetie Belle." Rarity cried again. I could tell she saw it coming. Didn't make it easier. She shuddered. She nuzzled the remain. Greed had lost something precious. There were few greater pains than that. And had happened twice now.

AJ silently pushed a few stone slabs around the golem's remains. Spike calmly scratched out 'Sweetie Belle's Love' on one side.

While we were bidding final farewells, I walked over to the area were Cadence's jewelry was buried, saying a silent prayer...and a silent thanks. I was tempted to take the jewelry and do it properly, but I didn't know how Rarigreed would react.

Rarigreed to looked at us and spoke plainly, "This wretched castle holds nothing of value to me anymore. Nothing here's worth bringing with me... apart from the three of you. Let's go."

Chapter 79: (Dark World) Picking Up The Pace

Pony POV Series
"Dark World" Part Ten
Picking Up The Pace
By Alex Warlorn

"Master . . . I've been meaning to ask. You've told me so much about when you first ruled Equestria. But I never stopped to ask. Why did you exterminate the flutterponies?" Fluttercruel asked as they sat on a cotton candy cloud that rained empty soda cans and skittles.

"It was just on a whim. And I didn't. I saved one didn't I? Made her immortal and not even a 'thank you.'"

"And resurrecting the 'breezies' as a species?"

"Also a whim, and they're technically my original creations, since they now never existed before to begin with."

"I...don't understand."

"That's what makes it so funny. And I learned pinned butterflies are too predictable after you collect them and they stop moving. Speaking of which, which do you think would be better? A huge garden surrounding where they chose to settle where the flowers snap up any pony that gets close and inside the bud are turned into a new swarm of Breezies, or a fog that makes ponies fall asleep and then turns them into a new swarm? Or are both of those two predicable? Maybe ponies turn into a swarm if entire swarm tickles them all at once, werewolf rules are always a good time."

"Yeah, werewolves rules are always fun-WHAT!!" Fluttercruel snapped, "MASTER! You can't be serious! You're going to make another protected bubble community-?! You already have the seaponies! And you, you have-"

Discord actually blinked a little, looking a bit shocked at himself, then calmed down. "Yes and... they feel nice."

Fluttercruel felt a chill go up her spine from the serene look on her master's face.

It wasn't known to many: but anywhere from a hundred to a thousand years ago Discord had taken a cruise ship loaded with ponies and turned them into an island of immortal amazon mares in the middle of the ocean, all of them looking rather like the mare Mount Shadow was shaped like. All of them with names based around words like 'dark' or 'shadow.' Discord had taken only two others there on occasion. Twilight Tragedy, and Fluttercruel.

Discord had made both Pinkie Promise (and Pinkamena Swear just to be on the safe side) to never tell anyone about the little island, its mares, or what the trips were about.

Twilight Tragedy had been confused when her Master actually had her help organize the island community, and set up a provisional government.

The mares had barely a clue anything existed beyond their island, a nice ring of fog kept out the curious, and gave them different colored manes and shifted their cutie marks to different parts of their body of those who tried to enter before dumping them back where they started. All the mares knew was that Lord Discord was the reason they existed.

Their history began the morning they had woke up on the island, wondering who they were, instead of repeating his trick of revised history with his seaponies. Discord let the mares believe they were the only beings on Earth and praised their creator.

Discord had Fluttercruel practice with some, rather than practice ON them. The mares had complied with Discord's wishes. The end result had been 'Cruel learning how to fight other immortal ponies. And her own arrogance being taken down a peg.

Twilight Tragedy had found this island completely confusing, and was happy whenever they left. Fluttercruel didn't like the place at all, no one for her to toy with that couldn't kick her flank back. And she always was made to wear that pink fluffy dress when visiting! And the mares always felt the odd urge to bake her cookies and tell her how cute and grown-up she was while pinching her cheek.

Back in the present (and for some reason wearing the pink fluffy dress) Fluttercruel asked, "WHY MASTER! Aren't I enough-?! What use do we have for more stupid pets?"

" . . . It's . . . complicated," Discord whispered as he passively gave a stallion down below who had split personalities two heads. Then turned the tail of a mare who loved art into a brush. Plus a mute virgacorn the ability to speak in verse. Then gave the cutie mark of a pony who loved to hear himself talk a blabber mouth with a mind of its own. "Even I don't know why I do things sometimes, or what I'm going to do next."

Discord then looked down at a nearby settlement. He gave a small smirk, looking to Fluttercruel out of the corner of his eye. He pointed to a mare who loved to garden, her Cutie Mark a sunflower, Fluttercruel expected him to do something like make her able to grow plants with her mind or something...instead he snapped his fingers and made her garden suddenly die before her eyes, letting her watch it wither away. As she cried looking over the dead plants, he vanished and a sunflower grew in front of her, Discord's face on it. "My my, poor Sunflower, you should've realized. Everything dies eventually, that's just the way of life, so sad isn't it?" his eyes began to swirl as did hers. "And it hurts when it dies, doesn't it? Hurts to see something you raised from a seed wither and die in front of you. Knowing it could happen to them at any time without a moment's warning You know, the only real way to not get hurt, is to not see the value in any life," he stated, her colors draining away, not just pale but all the way to grey. "Then it doesn't hurt when its taken from you."

Discord teleported back next to a rather surprised Fluttercruel laughing. "Master...what...I thought..."

"Exactly, you thought I was going to have mercy on her," Discord replied, smiling. "See, that's the point I've been trying to teach you this whole trip my dear. When you become predictable, people expect things of you, and if it's expected, then it isn't chaos. When you're expected to be cruel, throw in acts of mercy, acts no one can tell whether or not it's good or 'bad', and just random chaos that serves absolutely no purpose. That way, no pony, maybe not even yourself, knows what you're going to do next," he said, putting a claw to his ear and handing Fluttercruel an earphone. "It makes the things you like even sweeter.

"And the BEST acts of chaos, are the ones with a ripple effect. Because you can't always be sure what they'll be."

"Momma? Why aren't you paying attention to me? Momma?"

Discord looked upon his work, and it was good. 'And with you my little Cruelty, is when I felt alive again!'

++++++

The entry halls of chaos were still like a bad mushroom trip, only occasionally with fire. You never knew what to expect. Or what you'd be in between. But as long as you kept going forward you'd always come out okay at least in body.

I had once gone through Old Everfree at night, the Rainbow Factory of pegasus horror stories, Canterlot as a filly with a wicked Celestia behind me, and a black and white geometric limbo, all in one trip.

And that was one of the saner times.

Discord actually got a kick out of going through it, because even he couldn't predict what might turn up.

Smashing through the walls with Spike would have been easier, but was bound to also get a lot more attention from Discord, let alone Fluttercruel and Dash. We didn't even know for sure if he was away or just oversleeping in his gelatin bath again. Sure, random explosions happened all the time around here, but we didn't want to push it.

I was leading, followed by Spike, then Rarigreed, and AJ bringing up the rear.

We kept our eyes straight ahead, putting one hoof, foot, or tentacle in front of the other, not looking at each other, not speaking, only moving at a calm confident pace. We had all figured out that this was the quickest way through the entry hall of chaos. The more you tried to run through it, the longer it seemed to become. Stupid sentient palace.

I didn't look at myself, I didn't look to my sides or behind me, I only kept looking straight ahead and not thinking about what I was.

I'm a bride at a wedding, keep trotting.

I'm a ewe at a slaughter house, keep moving forward.

Down the throat of a dragon, keep going forward.

Brony Con 2013...wait, what? No! Ignore it, keep going forwards.

In diapers having to crawl as a foal through a nursery with bright cheery toys.

"T-T-tom." I heard Rarity's voice. I ignored it, I didn't dare not to. Keep trotting forward!

"M-Mooondancer." Spike's voice.

"Granny . . ." I heard AJ grunt.

Voices of my parents, "Come inside Twilight, it's time for bed," Keep moving forward!

The exit, if it existed, looked further away than ever. I took one hoof step forward and-, we were all outside the castle. That was normal.

The was sweat on Rarigreed's brow. "Sanity is such a burden," she said to herself. Spike folded a wing around her.

"We're here to carry it with you," AJ whispered. I nodded.

Those trips had been much easier when I was too emotionless to care or too scared of myself already to notice. AJ nuzzled me in turn. I nuzzled back.

I saw the wistful look on my number one's face. "It's alright Spike," I said lovingly looking up at him, to think this was the baby dragon whose diapers I changed as part of my 'lessons' with Princess Celestia, and I think I finally get what I was learning...

Healing Spike after the battle had been tedious, but necessary. Unlike us, he wasn't immortal. Thankfully, it turned out both sets of Elements had a few more secrets left to unlock... Rarigeed had left the huge pile of bloody diamonds where they lay.

It was day outside the castle at moment--never mind, night again. Oy. Makes sneaking easier for however long it lasts at least.

And I'm reminded of my imperfection again.

How can I be so smart and so dense? I considered Rainbow Dash and Fluttercruel to be the last two pegasi? I kept forgetting. There was a third one. And a third unicorn.

Derpy looked to be at the young adult part of her aging cycle, just old enough to be considered a mare.

The blasted birds would be back. Derpy's legs and wings crippled as always, like broken bones that had been set wrong.

She wasn't crying or begging for the birds to leave her be like I always remembered her doing. The birds seem even more vicious, like the trait of 'hate' had been added to the mix.

We all looked at the tireless mother and her precious cargo.

(Well what are you waiting for? Get a move on!)

Spike burned the crows to ashes. And AJ created an illusion Derpy and muffin that trotted along.

(What are you morons doing?!)

Spike took hold of Derpy in his claws. AJ whispered in Derpy's ear and the mother stopped struggling. AJ and Rarigreed gently held their hooves against her side. There was a glow shaped like a diamond at the base of her throat and on AJ's foreleg in the shape of an apple and their eyes lit up.

"MINE!" Rarigeed snapped and broke Derpy's legs and wings. Both AJ and Spike and Rarigreed all cringed at the sound of breaking bones. Rarigreed's legs broke in a flash of dark purple light and she fell but regenerated.

AJ's shoulder blades shattered to pieces in a flash of bright orange and were slower to put themselves back together but managed. For the first time in a thousand years, Derpy's wings and legs were perfectly mended in bursts of both colors. She stretched her wings and legs and gave a thankful look to the others, seeming completely unfazed.

(You are IDIOTS! She was perfectly fine as was! Now she's both a signal and a target for Discord!)

Thus why we're getting her out of here, which will be easier to do if she can fly and walk correctly.

(But you're-)

'Wasting time', I know.

(Don't roll your eyes at me!)

"Twilight," Derpy said like nothing had changed in the last thousand and one years, "my muffins?"

AJ nuzzled her, "As soon as we have six Elements of Harmony they'll be as right as water rain! We're already three down and three to go! We'll find'em!"

"Oh! You mean like this one Applejack?"

Derpy lifted up her front right hoof, showing a perpetually glowing bubble pattern underneath. Our eyes nearly popped out of our sockets. It took my heart a bit to regenerate from my cardiac arrest. Derpy just smiled as all of our brains blanked.

(You're kidding, you're kidding right? You have got to be clopping me! *The Obscenities printed here are so ugly that Sane Reality Himself rejects them*)

I managed to gasp out, "Derpy! When did, how did, why are you, but-" I had to stop before I'd need to regenerate a blood vessel in my head. More than that, we all recognized the color of the glow: Loyalty.

"How did you get Rainbow Dash's Element?" Spike pointed a claw down at her.

AJ kicked him lightly. "That's rude."

He felt her words more than the kick. "Oh, sorry."

"Rainbow Dash may bear The Element of Loyalty Spike, but so did either Princess Luna or Princess Celestia remember?" I ignore the pain of mentioning them by name, "We don't own the Elements, anymore than you 'own' fire-breathing or flying. And how Apple Pie described one of her lost friends, she could have been an Element of Magic." I looked at her, "But Derpy, when did you awaken as an Element of Harmony?"

"Around last night I think."

While my brain finished regenerating from the stroke the other continued in my place.

"Last night darling?" Rarigreed, "Tell us more, the whole thing."

Derpy instantly launched into several inane and minute details, and a lot of words about Dinky state of moment by moment survival that would fill a book, but eventually she got to what we needed to know.

"So after the little purple filly went inside the castle, oh! Is she-"

"She's perfectly fine, better than ever! Continue," I said quickly.

"Well, after that, I was making my way around the castle, And I saw a pegasus flying around in front of the moon, I'm always watching the sky for more crows, or for roots that seem to pop up without warning or-"

"Derpy."

"Oh, well, I heard her shouting 'I'm sorry! I don't deserve forgiveness! Just let me be! Leave me alone! I'm not worth your time!' For a second I thought she was my mom, erm, not my foster mom, but my other mom."

"Your real mother?" Rarity asked.

"My foster mother was my real mother. The pay she was rowing on about not wanting to be forgiven I thought it was her. Since she kinda, erm, tried to drown me."

"WHAT?!" We all exclaimed.

Ok, how many more surprises are we going to get hit with before this is over?!

"Why the bucking Tatarus would somepony do that-?!" 'Jack exclaimed.

"Well, it took me six hundred years to realize it, but I think she didn't want a filly who had . . . lots of problems like I did. She was trying to 'accidentally' drown me, she gave me a really heavy good luck charm and had me fly over a river during winter for my first lesson and she helped, pushed, me over the side when I was nervous. But that's also why I got my cutie mark so maybe she was trying to help after all, and after I dragged myself out of the river loosing my good luck charm I met my foster parents, but they weren't actually yet-"

"So who was it?" I asked, I got a glare from Applejack for interrupting Derpy's life story. "Who was the pegasus?" It could have been Fluttershy or-

"It was Rainbow Dash! Whoo-hoo! Me and Dinky both saw her! I think she was crazy, she was seeing ponies who weren't there, or they were invisible ponies who-"

"Don't turn into Pinkie Pie on us," Spike said and got another kick from Applejack. I had a good guess as to who Dash may have actually been seeing...

Derpy deflated. "Well, she finally saw me, and dived right at me, and got rid of the crows again, she does that when Discord isn't looking, and she flew a bit in front of me. She looked real scared. She then asked me lots of questions. Things like, 'Would I ever give up on my muffins?' 'Why would I never give up on them?' 'What would I do if I had to choose between them?' 'Who were important to me?' 'Why was I still going?' 'Was I scared I'd never finish?' and lots of stuff like that. It was really weird. And . . . she began crying at the end, it was really weird seeing Rainbow Dash cry."

The sun came up.

"When I was in the middle of explaining how I'd have to trust in Sparkler to take care of herself if I got caught where I had to look after only one of my muffins she grabbed my shoulders, I didn't like that because it meant I was losing time on getting my muffin back."

And it hit like a knife. For the first time in a thousand years. Derpy wasn't trotting. It as surreal. Did she, did she trust in us so fully? So completely? After so long, a flicker of light at the start then a thousand years of blackness?

(Because she is retarded.)

No, I think for her, the darkness was just one long tunnel. She knew there was light at the end. She has more faith than any of us put together. And don't EVER call her that again!

(No! She's self-deluded! She never knew such a thing!)

Whether she knew or not, the evidence is apparently in her favor.

(Not if your recklessness get her and her foals killed!)

...

(What? 'I'm not going to let that happen?' 'That won't happen?' Or some other tripe?)

Life is an adventure, adventure is risk. Just because it can happen doesn't mean it will. And I choose to believe in the better outcome. I choose to hope, just like she has.

(Easy way out.)

No. The easy way is surrender. The easy way is hiding in a cage, for a thousand years.

"-and she hugged me. Told me I was 'the most loyal pony to ever live.' Felt kinda familiar. I tried to think of what to say, but I couldn't really think of anything that made what she said wrong. She flew away crying. I trotted along. And I noticed a glow under my hoof."

We slapped our hooves to our faces, Spike made a thunder clap with his.

"And my mouth started doing what I wanted to blue a lot more. Erm, mostly. The birds make more noise, but I noticed I wasn't getting older or younger anymore. Weird huh?"

Rarigreed gasped, "You have got to be joking!"

AJ shrugged, curiously looking at the ground. "Out of all the crazy horseapples that've happened to us today, Ah'd say this here's pretty tame darlin'."

Rarigreed took an avenue of escape, "Applejack . . . you don't need to hide yourself anymore. You can speak like a lady if it's what you really want. No one's going to think you're not you."

"Ah figure the Apples and Pies would be more accepting of me if Ah speak without an accent."

Rarigreed politely and calmly and quite honestly proceeds to bang AJ into the castle wall several times -What? We're immortal- until AJ finally admits that 'accent' refers to the dialect of a particular region, and being in the minority, the Apple and Pies are therefore the ones with accents, but still wanted to speak how they'd be comfortable with her.

"But seriously!" Rarigreed rambled, "What?! Where's the epic journey across the land in search of those worthy? We haven't gone one mile out of the castle we find Loyalty falling into our laps?!"

"That's Derpy for you," I said.

"It wouldn't be right for Derpy if it happened any different," AJ added.

"And besides, we shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth, you taught me that," I reply, getting a small smile out of her.

"Derpy. Welcome to the 'Going To Save The World Club'," I said to her proudly, "You and Dinky. Erm, if you want."

" . . . but Discord promised. Dinky would be her again if I went around the castle enough times. And Sparkler too. And-"

"And what kind of happiness do you expect Dinky and Sparkler to have in a world ruled by Discord? You don't need him to save them."

Derpy looked at me in awe, her one track tunnel like mind coming to a screeching halt. For the first time in a thousand years, Derpy had another road to take that wasn't giving up.

(This is just another form of giving up.)

No, it's called 'taking a third option'.

Derpy stood adamantly. Her opposing eyes looking determined and her face smiling. "I'm with you until the end!"

Spike said, "Doesn't it feel wrong to just, replace Rainbow Dash?"

Derpy startled.

I said harshly, "She's NOT the 'New Rainbow Dash.' She's help, which we need, and she's a friend, end of story. We'll save Dash later when we can."

"Don't talk about Derpy like she's not even here," AJ said putting a hoof on her shoulder.

"It's okay I'm used to it. My parents and teachers talked about me like I wasn't in the room all the time."

We heard crows. The murderer formed from the ashes and rose again right near Derpy.

None appeared around the illusion of Derpy and Dinky AJ had created that was trotting around the castle.

(Oh look! Sitting on your flanks just speaking had consequences, how unexpected!)

If you have nothing useful to say then don't bother!

"There's lot more than before," Spike observed.

"There get to be more if I stay in one place," Derpy said as she tried to remember motor skills she hadn't used in a thousand years to fold her wings around Dinky.

We all came between the murder of crows and Derpy and Dinky.

There were so many, they were like a cloud. A single creature. A mass of black blotting out the sun with countless red pairs of hungry eyes looking at Derpy, no, Dinky.

"I am so not interested in a boss battle right now," Spike deadpanned.

"Likewise," Rarigreed said.

"Ditto," 'Jack nodded.

Derpy looked ready to run again.

"Don't worry Derpy," I smiled at her, "that's just means we're going to wipe them out of existence fast!"

"But darling don't they just keep coming back no matter what?" Rarigreed asked.

"I'll think of something."

The murder congealed into a formation of one giant crow.

"Oh that is so original," 'Jack said.

"What an uninspired attack formation. Are we supposed to be intimidated?" Rarigreed shouted, "Spike! Immolate!"

Spike's green flames hit the murder as it came closer, the individual crows being incinerated, reducing the formed giant black bird into a hill of ashes in seconds. Spike gave Rarity a smirk.

"I am happy Spike is on my side," Rarigreed whispered.

There was a look of calm satisfaction on Derpy's face.

"Why didn't my decoy work?" AJ asked herself, tapping her hooves on the ground.

That was when the ashes moved, and before our eyes, the ashes reformed into the crows. Reforming fast, I guess that made sense for Discord to program his toys to 'up the ante' if Derpy somehow began getting clever.

"That's rather unsportmare like!" Rarigreed fumed.

"You expected Discord to play fair?" I asked her.

"Okay, anyone here not seen The Alicorn's Apprentice?" Spike growled seeing the swarm forming into a large black bird again.

"For the last time it was not based on me!"

"Hey! what about yer 'eat somethin' different spell' so they don't hurt little Dinky? Make'em eat each other!"

"What? You mean the one I used on the parapsites?! These birds aren't alive! They're constructs! They don't 'eat' anything!"

Spike simply breathed fire again, the murder split in two letting the flames pass between them and the murder fused back together.

"They learn fast!" Spike snapped.

Derpy said, "They always have."

"We should run! I doubt they're made to be much faster than a crippled mother!" Rarity suggested.

"They'll just follow us! And ponies might get in the crossfire who aren't immortal!" I said.

Derpy blinked away tears of rage, "Makes them disappear forever!"

"We are not losing! We are not retreating! We are not going to be stopped! We are not even going to be slowed down by worthless soulless toys of Discord's that exists only to torment one loving mother and her foal! You can just forget it! DO YOU UNDERSTAND?!?!" I wasn't speaking to my friends by that point.

AJ kept tapping her hooves against the Earth. Her image became that of Derpy, along with another illusion decoy. The two ran under the crows who ignored them. AJ looking like Derpy skipped away from the group but still between Derpy and the crows who became to close in again. She then picked up a rock and used an illusion to make it look like Dinky's muffin self and threw it through the murder, but it was ignored as well.

This time Spike flapped his wings so hard the murder was forced back.

My eyes were opened. "They may be constructs but they still need air to fly! But that won't get rid of the problem. We can't just keep blowing them away, they'll just learn to avoid it. But this means they still have to follow the rules of aerodynamics."

"Ah could fool Queen Cadence, but Ah can't fool these things." AJ said, again to herself, the wind not knocking her over even if she was in the path of it.

"Which means these things are wired to you Derpy, and/or Dinky, they must be programmed to sense your spirit, lifeforce, or something not easily replicated," I said, "anything you can tell us?"

"They just keep coming back, always for Dinky, they always come, never stopping, never tiring, if some are sent far away, more appear, if they're stopped, more appear, if they're ... broken, more appear."

AJ kept tapping her hooves. She looked at the crows as they broke out of the ineffective formation and began to circle around so Spike's gail couldn't stop them all.

AJ said out loud, dismissing her illusions, "How can they learn if they keep getting turned to ashes? Ya can't make notes in a book if the book gets burned to ashes too!"

I remembered. One time I had been beheaded in battle(by the way, the theory that a head can remain conscious for several moments after being severed is true). A new head regenerated, but I was told for few moments it was a 'brain dead' husk until my memories and identity were loaded into it via my immortality, powered by my Element of Chaos. Similar thing had happened to Rarigreed once when her collection had fallen on her skull and the piano incident.

"If these things can learn! That means there must be a server for them to store their experiences somewhere!" I said. Everyone looked at me as we circled around Derpy and Dinky. She didn't flee. I wouldn't risk them adapting to my barrier unless we were out of options. "I mean there's somewhere the birds are storing what they're learning since if it was spread out among them burning them to pieces should reset them! It isn't!"

Spike asked, "Rarity! Create yer army to help out!"

"I can't! They're gone!"

"What do you mean 'they'?"

"It can't be somewhere obvious, Discord is too smart to do that..." I said, thinking, looking around for where Discord would hide it.

AJ stomped in frustration hard enough for her hoof to go into the ground. She then gasped suddenly. "Wait a minute..." she said, closing her eyes. I could feel Earth Pony Magic crossing into the ground, she was feeling the Earth. She gave another gasp.

"That's it!" AJ shouted at last. "Twilight! The ground! The magic is flowing through the ground and up into the air! Them black birds are made of dirt!"

"No, 'made from dirt is the proper saying since they are instantaneous magic rather than-"

"TWILIGHT!" Rarigreed snapped.

"Sorry!"

Rarigreed began levitating rocks and began shooting down the birds. Who were more being replaced more and more quickly. She bought some time by forming a stone shell around them, but I knew it wouldn't hold long with how fast they adapted.

I concentrated on what Earth Pony magic I'd copied over the centuries and felt the magic. It was just like at the rock farm; magic channels through the ground, only these seemed to move and flow, connected to the murder. I'd figured out the game.

"Derpy, do you remember how to fly?" I asked hopefully, the birds managed to find their way out of Rarigreed's barrier by having some of them bash the rock back while the others flew through.

Derpy looked at me for a few seconds then nodded.

"Derpy! Give Dinky to Spike!" I shouted.

"No!"

"Please! This is going to need your help too. Trust me!"

Derpy looked at me for a tiny bit like she had seen a ghost.

"Protect her?" Derpy asked Spike.

"Like a treasure," said the dragon.

Like she was cutting out her heart and hoofing it to someone else, Derpy gave Dinky to Spike to protect. Rarigreed carefully fashioned a protective 'coat' of stone around Dinky to protect her.

"Now, here, I, GO!" I shouted as my horn nearly gave off fireworks. What was first a soft breeze exploded in pegasus wing-power in seconds as I created a tornado, the black birds individually didn't have enough flight strength to resist and were caught up in the storm. I didn't stop there.

"AJ!" I grunted. "How far out is it?"

She told me. Whao boy. This might actually be hard.

"Derpy! Push the funnel of the tornado around the castle!"

"Can't you?"

"I'm feeding all my power to keep them from escaping! PLEASE Derpy!" Then it hit me. I remembered the thing who her loyalty towards had driven her for all this time. "This is the only way to save Dinky from them for GOOD!"

Derpy's eyes suddenly reminded me of Fluttershy when that dragon had hurt us.

The gray pegasus who was perhaps the only undiscorded or paled-colored pony in existence flew and pushed against the tornado with her bare hooves, flapping her wings like mad. It helped more than she could possibly know! With Derpy's extra added help I could move the tornado around the castle, sucking up the upper layer of Earth, dirt and rocks and all. My one hope was that Discord hadn't bothered to enchant the ground all the way to the planet's core!

The murder cawed, AJ stood firm, Rarigreed's telekinesis held her in place, Spike used himself as a wall around Dinky.

"Twili! Ya did it! That's all of it!"

"Thank you Applejack! Derpy! Push the top end of the funnel over the castle!"

Derpy grunted. Her muscles must have been on fire by now. But she didn't even hesitate, her wings flapped in a blur, her eyes were full of tears. "I'm tired of you birds coming for my muffin! My little Dinky means everything to me and I'm not letting you hurt her anymore! You won't hurt my muffin! You won't touch her! EVER AGAIN!"

Her Element of Loyalty glowed brighter and her eyes lit up while moving the funnel cloud suddenly became easier, her body's safety-limits turned off.

"Alright! Derpy, over the skylight! No! The other one! Yes that one! Steady! Steady! Push it down! Down!"

Derpy screamed in exertion.

(Twilight stop this! You can't sense where is what in the castle!)

NO! But I can sense a rip in the same/time continuum as big as a stadium!

"ALL THE WAY THE DERPY! AND AWAY THEY GO!!!"

The murder cawed insanely as the force of the tornado pushed them all along the way of the funnel, which I'm sure would have gotten a pegasus a citation for breaking several meteorological laws.

The murder was flushed down, through the skylight, and deep into the pit of no return. Its ravenous cawing becoming fainter and fainter until nothing was left, not one feather, not one speck of dirt.

My entire body shuddered.

(That was actually clever.)

OH RIGHT!

"Spike! Quick! Take a letter!"

"What?"

"Just do it!"

What an idiot I was, of course he wouldn't carry parchment with him wherever he went now. Oh well.

"Spike! Brace yourself and don't crush Dinky!"

"Huh?"

"Don't hold her tight. This will hurt!"

I quickly pulled out of Spike's scales (sorry Spike) and bit on my fetlock, and rapidly wrote a message in my own blood before my skin regenerated. Then I teleported the message where I had dumped the murder.

"Yeow! Twilight! What was that about?"

"Just being polite to someone who deserves being polite to."

+++

Ponythulu was looking forward to a nice relaxing dip in the hot tub. He had on his favorite bathrobe with a crossword puzzle under one tentacle. It was a beautiful day in his home dimension, he wanted to invite his cousin earlier, but Discord wasn't there, what a shame. Humming to himself, Ponythulu opened the door to his hot tub.

"CAW!CAW!CAW!CAW!CAW!CAW!CAW!CAW!CAW!CAW!CAW!CAW!CAW!CAW!CAW!CAW!CAW!CAW!CAW!" A solid wall of black birds slammed out of the washroom like water from a hose, hitting Ponythulu and sending him careening back down the hallway, the birds panicked screeching echoing through the house.

After the flood, the black birds lay in piles twitching mindlessly.

A purple dragon scale fell on the nephew of Havoc. Ponythulu picked it up and read it, "Dear Ponythulu. Here are some black birds birds for some black bird pie. The ground with them will infinitely recreate the blackbirds after they're eaten, though the spell may need some reprogramming, as it requires a focus to regenerate them around. We no longer have use for them, so I thought you might like to have them and I'm very certain you'll enjoy the recipe. Yours, Twilight."

"What a nice pony. How polite," Ponythulu said pleasantly.

+++

Derpy had fallen asleep on the roof after the task was done. I check first to make sure she was still breathing. I wasn't going to gamble on the Elements of Harmony giving immortality too. I had drained my reserves, but I still had enough to teleport to her and back again with her. She woke just long enough to look at Dinky and make sure her child was safe before going back to sleep. I examined her closely, and found no permanent damage to her body from pushing it past its limits, something I could only credit to the Element of Loyalty. After all, Loyalty let you push your limits for those you care about. Just had to mend some torn ligaments and muscles and cracked bones from her doing the work of an entire flight of pegasi single hoofedly in one third the time.

"Rest, you've earned it," I said, smiling to her. I'd love to see the looks on the faces of the ponies who'd mocked her all those years ago if they could see what she'd just done. Hay, what she'd BEEN doing for a thousand years.

"Hey everypony," I said smiling, "Anyone feel like a trip on dragon back?" I looked at Spike.

"I'd be glad to give everyone a ride!" I put the sleeping Derpy on Spike's back holding her tightly. Followed by Rarity, who had taken over protecting Dinky. Finally AJ who sat in front of Rarity, and spoke kind words to the muffin pony.

I wasn't sure if Dinky was conscious in there or not or presently had The psyche of a pony of a muffin... I didn't know which would be better or worse. To be conscious and watch your mother give everything she had for you? Or to spend a thousand years with no conscious mind.

Feeling like a five year old again I put a struck a dramatic pose like the captain of a sailing ship and shouted, "To Sweet Rock Acres!"

"AYE-AYE!" Spike said proudly. Applejack chuckled.

(Idiot! Aren't you worried about being spotted! Everypony will want you dead!)

Let them see. Let them see the mare who Discord tortured for so long is free. Let them see his slave free. Let them all see.

(With his minions riding with her on his dragon!)

For the first time without Discord there with him. That will make them curious, and a little curiousity can do wonderful things. Besides! I've wanted to ride a dragon since I got Spike! "Tally-ho!"

Episode 80: (Dark World) Happy Birthday

Pony POV Series
"Dark World" Part Eleven
Happy Birthday To You
By Alex Warlorn

"Down with Discord!" Shout Horus behind the podium.

"YEA!" Shouted the hippogriffs, including Inquisition.

"We'll never give up!"

"Never!"

"We'll fight to the last 'griff!"

"To the last!"

"We won't live as toys anymore!"

"YEA!"

"We can do it!"

"Yes we can! It's time for a change!" Shouted a brown and gray male hippogriff with odd colored wings, his cutie mark being a twisted tornado. His eyes were yellow and red. He also wore glasses with a fake mustache for some reason. Besides him was a smaller hippogriff chick who really liked her hamburgers.

"Nice to see you could join us again Wild Tempest," said Inquisition's mother.

"It's no problem, it's interesting, it's fun, and seriously, it's a good way to spend some time." Wild Tempest waved off. Inquisition's mother laughed.

The resistance meeting in the very foundations of Cloudsdale was going well, as normal. And Horus was glad to have Wild Tempest, a regular who only came into town for the meetings. Whenever the group felt hopeless, his sense of humor and witty remarks lightened their spirits.

All he asked in exchange was teaching his daughter ("The only reminder I have of her mother!" He'd sob whenever made to explain), instructing her in basic strategy.

Inquisition tried to get to know her better but was at an anti-social brick wall until Inquisition mentioned interrogation techniques she had read in a book once.

"You shall be spared," Tempest's daughter mumbled between bites, leaving Inquisition confused.

"Just think, the Virgacorns are having their group meeting right now on how to spread and encourage magic too." The adult hippogriff said off clawedly to Wild Tempest.

"Huh? Wha-! You mean the Virgacorn resistance meeting is today? I-erm! I just remembered something! Got to go! Nice talking to you again!"

Wild Tempest made a hasty but quiet exit dragging his daughter with him still eating her hamburger.

"Where have you been Paradigm Shift?" Symbolism asked the other Virgacorn.

The brown and gray Virgacorn panted, a smaller yellow and pink stripped Virgacorn trailing behind him, "Sorry... I... lost track of time."

"It's alright, is this your daughter?"

"Yes, teach her magic."

+++

'The rich and powerful will be torn down.' An eye-patched Anarchy whispered.

"The rich and powerful will be torn down!" The bald stallion in front of the mob shouted.

'Trials will be held.'

"Trials will be held!" Declared the same muscle on muscle stallion who had broken the back of Batmare.

'And your city will be returned to you... the people.'

"And your city will be returned to you... the people."

Anarchy felt something in his bones shake. No way. Couldn't be. But there no other feeling like this in existence. Whoa man, was She and Dad really gonna?

Sorry pal! You're on your own! Family calls.

"Yo! Pandy! Strife! Ya feel it too?!" Anarchy called as he raced on all fours down the hallway/path/road past his sisters' rooms/worlds/domains. He pulled off the eyepatch, it made him look cool, but he needed both eyes right now.

"I felt something big brother," said a glowing skull of death atop the neck of a female draconequus.

"It's bigger than you imagine! And take off that Nightmare Night mask already!" Pandora nodded taking off the glowing skull revealing her pretty face underneath.

"What makes you think we could not have felt it brother?" Strife asked, tossing away her 'towel' as she did so, tapping the stone paw of a Tasmanian devil against her hip.

"Well, yeah, bein' polite, right? Anyways! Let's move it! You guys don't want to miss this."

"I was merely waiting for you brother," Strife said simply.

"Coming!" Pandora said skipping out behind them.

"By the way, I've kept an eye on your latest work, I am very interested as to how that conflict will resolve," Strife said, as they headed towards Their Parents' domain/presence/being.

"Thanks, I think I've really outdone myself. I've still got the Eivo recording of him breaking the back of one of Justitia's champions, wannna watch it later?" Those who fought crime outside the law that the corrupt system wouldn't to ensure others' freedom? That Anarchy got, after all, ultimate-self-responsibility was Anarchy's ultimate goal. He'd even HELPED Justitia set up one or two of those, like the black pony with the skull cutie mark. The ones who fought outside the system to HELP the established law and order be maintained like that one dressed like a flying rat? They were a mystery to him.

"Perhaps. But don't assume her champion is done, determination is one of the key traits that Justitia looks for in her champions."

"He broke her back, what's the worst that could happen? Anyway, thanks for setting up the physical side of my newest champion this time."

"Well you've always had trouble with the physical side of your champions, I felt it'd be a good birthday present."

"Wait, that was my birthday present?!"

The entire universe shook, heaved, and moaned in pain.

"Do You Know Honey, No Matter How Many Times I See This It Never Stops Being Fun?" Havoc grinned, twisting about the sky almost into a knot. The shadows of existence steering clear of him even as they instinctively were pulled closer to the main event.

"YOU TAKE PLEASURE IN MY PAIN?"

"Oh Myself Forbid! I? Taking Pleasure In My Bride's Unhappiness? Perish The Thought!" Havoc giggled to himself. Three draconequi flew through the infinite layers of ice and darkness down to the sea of blackness, landing on top of three of six dark blue needle like peaks. The waves rippled and chopped, becoming the size of continents as their violence increased and continued to grow, "Hey Kids! Wonderful To See You Could Make It! You're All About To Witness Of One The Most Wonderful Miracles Of Beauty The Universe Dreads To Know!"

"Wow! She's really gonna do it!" Pandora whispered in awe, sitting down eagle style.

"So the time has finally come," said Strife standing and crossing her arms.

"Never thought I'd see this again. Makes me kinda wish Destruction, Dissy, and _________ were here to see this."

"Please don't mention 'Ruin' or _________. It makes it depressing," Pandora objected.

"Meh, sorry sis'." Anarchy shrugged.

"I Miss ___ Too. But It Is What You Get For Talking Back To Your Parents. Every Child Who Has Ever Lived Should Know That. __ Should Have Come To Me If __ Wanted to Blow Off Some Steam, I'd Have Loved To Hear It."

"Where's cousin Ponythulhu, though? He said he'd love to see this if it happened again," Pandora said, trying to change the subject slightly.

"I bet the poor guy thinks we're still angry at Dissy, shame he'll miss this show." Anarchy said, scratching his head.

Admittedly, Anarchy had never visited for a reason. A thousand year kingdom ruled were choices were utterly unpredictable due to the one in charge? That didn't exactly sit well with the embodiment of rebelling against authority. Strife on the other claw approved the cast iron ponies it was breeding.

"AAAAAAAGHAHAGHAGH!" Entropy moaned as dark blue mountains crumbled and others rose up. The shadows of existence scrambled out of the way.

"Such An Angelic Sound The Universe Can Barely Hear, My Bride's Voice Is Truly A Thing Of Beauty."

Two . . . 'limbs' grasped, the one belonging to Entropy crushing the one belonging to Havoc as the pain intensified. "That's It Dear! Let It All Out!" Entropy would have erased Him from existence for daring to speak so to Her if She wasn't in agony.

The existence around the three (meaning Their Mother) began to shake uncontrollably, like it was all going to fly apart at any moment!

Anarchy shouted, "I told it was a great show!"

"We're all going to die!" Pandora covered her head and cowed.

"Calm down! Nothing shall harm us!" Strife said punching a dark cobalt boulder with her stone paw as the reality-quakes sent it flying at her randomly.

"That's what I'm worried about!"

"I mean we shall not be harmed," Strife corrected, having let her mind slip about who's domain they were in.

The shadows of existence were now transfixed on the sight. Entranced and hypnotized at the wild storm of the ocean of Entropy.

"Who Knew Giving Life Would Be Such Torturous Agony For the Embodiment Of The End Of All Things? Not Quite The Same Thing As 'Pain' For You, Though I Did Enjoy My Part In The Process!!! Ha ha!"

Entropy/existence Herself/itself contorted, the waves becoming a maelstrom, Equestria would have been a speck of dust on a bubble on one of the tidal waves.

"And Here, We, Go."

The pain reached a climax and Entropy roared.

+++

Two statues in the gallery shuddered.

Discord fell on his side gasping. Fluttercruel fell against the mirror she had been blenching the pink fluffy dress she was wearing in. The glass shattered and 'Cruel's forehead bled.

"M-Master, what was that?"

"I know what it had to be. But I don't believe it. This didn't... "

+++

"Twilight are you okay?" AJ asked.

"Nothing, just a headache."

(I do not believe it.)

+++

"That is one fatass egg." Anarchy pointed.

Strife backpawed him, stone against flesh audible. "It's not polite to point."

"Hello, do you want to come out?" Pandora knocked on the giant egg's side.

"Maybe It's A Dud. Just Think Honey. We Might Need To Do It Again! I Have Some New Positions We Can Try!"

"YOU DON'T EXIST!"

The egg quivered from behind. Something heaved on the inside.

"I Suggest You Get Back Kids. She's Gonna Be Hungry," Havoc said as He casually willed Himself back into existence with less than a micron of effort.

"Her?" Anarchy asked.

"A Father Knows These Things. Did You Expect Your Mother To Know?"

"Pay up," Strife said simply, holding out her stone paw.

Anarchy grumbled and handed his sister a twenty.

A banging noise was heard on the inside of the egg, like a battering ram.

Strife grabbed her siblings and teleported a good distance away.

The egg began to crack, air, ice, and shadows being sucked in through the cracks.

Two nearby purple and beige pony shaped shadows survived by tossing a third larger dragon shaped shadow towards the egg as the cracks became larger and larger, connecting to each other and the egg itself rumbled violently.

Out.

I

Want

OUT!

The egg exploded, a shapeless, chaotic, random force tore its way out, it ripped wildly through the landscape, tearing apart everything in its path. It tore towards Havoc, who caught it easily as it bit and clawed harmless in His grasp. He merely brought it up to His eye to look it over.

"Ah, You're A Feisty One Aren't You? I Like That. But You Need To Learn. Now This'll Hurt You More Than Me, But It's For Your Own Good!"

Havoc slammed it into the ground, creating cracks that spread to the horizon. Then He threw it straight at Entropy's ocean, the great serpent rose up, and the force latched onto the serpent side, bit hard, and began to feed, gulping down what flowed, growing bigger and bigger. Bloated it fell off and fell into the ocean. It was nearly erased from existence countless times in the span of a moment on contract, but the overwhelming drive to live to exist inherited from its Father shook through it, a primal fear, and it swam toward the shore an infinity away, and climbed onto the cliff, panting, blackness dripped off it.

Strife actually smirked a little. "Here's my favorite part."

Like a pheromone, shadows of existence were drawn towards it of all shapes and sizes. They began to crowd around it, pushing each other off the cliff if need be to get closer to it.

The first shadow reached it, a cat shape with large fangs, the shadow touched it.

It ate the shadow, then tore through the rest like a scythe in a wheat field during a hurricane, ripping them to shreds.

Anarchy considered it was a good thing shadows of existence couldn't feel pain that way.

Even as it devoured and tore them apart, the shadows continued to crowd towards it.

The body of a serpent like its Mother.
The head of a horse and body covered in fur like all her siblings.
The front paw of a Tasmanian wolf.
The three toed claw of a moa reaching forward.
The rear hoof of a Kouprey.
The rear paw of a saber tooth tiger.
The tail of a shark.

And from her back the wing of a Archaeopteryx and a pterodactyl.

She fell on all fours panting. The shadows simply wandered away.

Havoc loomed over her.

A pseudopodia reached out and touched her on the forehead. Her eyes widened and focused.

"Do You Hear Me? Do You Understand Me? Your Name Is Rancor Adrestia Typhon Or Animosity. Do You Know What You Are?"

" . . . . I am revenge. I am violence. I am passions. I am rancid to the core. I am one of the winds of chaos. I am nature's fury against nature's law. I am of the Draconequi!"

All violence everywhere was her. Every act of revenge was her. Every heart gasping for air in its own passions was her. She did not rule over them like a queen or attend them like a janitor, she was them. She had always been them. They did not fuel her existence, she was the source of their existence, to put it hopelessly crudely.

Starting with a purple pegasus and beige earth pony shadow, the shadows of existence bowed to the new Draconquus.

The pseudopodia gently and warmly wrapped around her, "And Happy Birthday, My Baby Girl."

The three other draconequi slowly approached their new baby sister.

She was still so small. Her shape was that of a child. Little fat limbs, short tale, large eyes, big head, cute little fangs, adorable stumpy horns. And that mane could use a comb, Anarchy thought personally.

It would have been jarring to have heard her declaration of her nature and existence out of that young sweet spunky voice.

"Greetings. You know who I am, little sister. I have a birthday present for you, little sister. I have been keeping it for you for a very long time." Strife stabbed a black spear into the ground that was three time as tall as the new born draconequus. "When you're big enough to carry it that is. And when you've proven yourself worthy of such a magnificent weapon as this."

"Oooooooh." Rancor looked up at the huge spear in awe.

"Do you think she'll still like the book?" Pandora whispered to Anarchy holding up a little book of poems.

"Meh, don't get your hopes up."

"Well, I didn't know what Concept she'd be...I'll have to write a fresh batch. What did you get her?"

"Nothin'. I've got a few riots I'm sure she'll like. And I'm sure my latest champion is just her style."

"Anarchy! Fetch The Camera. Time For A Family Photo."

A few moments latter, the three adult Draconequi, Their Parents, and the newborn (who Havoc cradled in the closest fashion He could while still remaining as much in frame/eye/perspective with Entropy as physically possible) posed for a family picture/image/memory.

"Now who called my egg fatass?"

"Uh oh..."

Episode 81: (Dark World) Family Reunion

Pony POV Series
Dark World Part 12
Family Reunion

"It's time to get moving
And time to get going

It's going to be great
Hurry best not be late

Dinky this is the day
We fly away
To Somewhere new

We'll see it together
Me and you
We will go there together

New places can be
A little bit scary
Will it turn out okay?

I'm wishing and hoping
That we know what we're doing
But we won't lose our way

We're flying, don't you love the view?
In my heart I can see a sky that's blue!

We're heading to you-knows-where
As soon as we get there,
We'll find our own wishing star!"

(Leave the singing to the seaponies!)

HA HA! I doubt that's happening!

(An Element of Loyalty that sings. Oh yes. You have truly chosen so wisely, Twilight.)

What I never got before was that the Elements have different ways to express themselves. See myself and my friends, I get there are more than one way for the same pony to say 'I love you my friend.' And none of them have to be worse than the other.

(Gag me.)

I would if I could. Singing keeps the spirits up, ponies have always loved to sing. Cadence knows she deserves it.

"Coming in for a landing!" Spike shouted as he made an amazingly smooth landing a mile or two outside Sweet Rock Acres. Hate to say it, but being Discord's mount for a thousand years or so had made him a capable flyer.

AJ looked in awe. When was the last time she was this close? "Ah still can't believe we went from farmin' apples to farmin' rocks."

"The Pies considered it a proud and honorable profession," Rarity said honestly.

"Ah didn't mean that mean-like! Ah'm just surprised that's all."

"It's all about what you can grow and where," Rarity said, "You're a farmer, you know this better than me. Rock farming really boomed from a niche market into the mainstream following the day of chaos."

"That is one thing I won't complain about," Spike said, thinking of all the tasty gems likely inside those boulders. A family of rocks on the very edge of the farm fields saw Spike, gave up, and promptly left for somewhere else to live.

"Oh, and watch out for any pony eating rocks, I think they drove them all off when I was here before but better safe than sorry," I warned. "Oh Rarity, didn't you have one of those for a pet for awhile?"

"Yes, until Angry Pie thought it laughed at her. You worry too much, remember when that dragon tore Fluttercruel to pieces, and ate her, then she regenerated inside him and ... cut her way out."

My lecture instincts took over, "Actually, she cut his internal organs to shreds except his brain, THEN cut her way out, then sat and watched him -while sipping a soda- until he died... begging for death," I finished on a whisper.

"Don't talk about that around Dinky!" Derpy chastised me.

Rarigreed looked slightly shocked. My stomach filled with ice.

"I'm sorry Derpy." I felt ashamed. We had been so casual about death and violence for nearly a thousand years, hearing Derpy say it was wrong to talk about it in front of her foal was a slap to the face. It felt a little bit alien to suddenly have these things not be idle chat material. In fact...it made me a little sick. "Dear Cadence...have we really become that desensitized..." I suddenly felt so unclean... A thousand years ago what I had just said would have made us all faint or throw up...now it was casual conversation.

Applejack put a hoof on my shoulder. "..." I could tell she was seriously considering telling me a kind lie.

"We have..." Rarity said honestly. "And that's an ugly thing, but we have to accept it."

I nodded. "And hope the world gets better so no one else has to be."

"Can we please change the subject?"

"Yes Derpy, lets."

Derpy guarded Dinky like she was made of glass rather than wheat, her wings folded into a protective tent around her on her back. I can't blame her.

"This is Sweet Apple Acres now?" Derpy asked looking two ways at once.

"Sweet Rock Acres now," I said, "Don't worry, the ponies are very friendly. You'll see. The Pie and Apple hospitality is the one thing that hasn't changed in a thousand years."

"Twilight," Spike said, "I don't mean to be a bust, why are we here? There are plenty of other places we could have stopped."

"Ah made a promise to look after Applebloom's family, and Ah'm keepin' it now the way AH should have," AJ said.

Spike's eyes widened, "You're staying here?"

"Nope! Not yet! We still have a world to save remember?"

"Twilight," Derpy asked sounding nervous, "You-you said we-we were going somewhere to help Dinky."

"And we are. Right here. My magic can't undo Discord's magic, or else I would've freed the Princesses as soon as I was. But the Elements of Harmony can! Or Discord wouldn't have removed the jewelry as a threat! But it won't work without all Six and we got two to go."

"So, Pinkie Pie and Flutteshy are here?"

" . . . No Derpy, they aren't. Derpy, Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie as they are now can't use the Elements. But I know somepony who can! Our Element of Laughter is right here in Sweet Rock Acres."

"You mean Apple Pie don't you?" AJ asked.

"Like duh!" I laughed. Only friends could say that smiling and get a smile back! We trust each other not to be saying it antagonistically! "If she can laugh at Discord jokes and crack my shell in a day, then she's Laughter already!"

"So we're replacing Pinkie Pie too?" Spike looked at me with big sad dejected eyes.

"It's not replacement Spike! This is to help them as much as us and everypony else! It's not like we're expecting Apple Pie to start throwing parties and play pranks! We'll find a way to get through to Pinkie and Fluttershy."

"Ah'm not sayin' yer givin' up on Pinkie Twili', but Apple Pie's a little filly, and ya saw what she saw in Ponyville. Hasn't she been through enough? What kind of monsters are we if we're draggin' a filly into a fight against Discord?"

AJ's voice, it wasn't angry or cold it was, pleading.

"AJ. I've spoken to her. I've been with her. She's spent most of her life in mortal danger just like all her family. These ponies are the result of having lived and survived in a world run by the mad chaos god! They're either impossibly lucky or near indestructible! Pony Eating Rocks ran away from the fillies! And it's not like I'm drafting her. We're going to ask her."

"A little filly on a big dang adventure not knowin' she could die. Twili' we can't use her like that."

"AJ. Apple Pie knows what death is, its been her family's constant companion since she was born. Believe me, I know tragedy, and she's someone who can get through it with a smile on her face. She knows the risk. She knows what she'll be getting into if she says yes."

"Ah guess if she can help and we don't let her know that, it would be kinda cruel. But won't it be cruel to her family to force another grave on them?"

"She knows how to take care of herself. She's as indestructible as one of the Cutie Mark Crusaders. And her family is ready to accept loss. I know that's cruel to say but it's true. And we aren't using her. We're going to be watching her back the same way she'll be watching ours."

(Foal soldiers! I know Celestia would so approve! And this is all assuming she and the rest don't burn you all at the stake the moment you show your faces.)

I cringe. They have no reason to hurt Derpy, they won't be able to hurt Spike, and being immortal should mean we'll be able to get our say in after they get it out of their system.

(What? So Discord's personal mount and three of his death squad are going to simply trot in, give an apology and all will be forgiven?!)

The other launched in a mess of plans. AJ wanting to use her illusions to get us onto the farm without a fight. Figuring it would be kinder thing to do so no pony would get hurt.

AJ asked, "Hey Twilight! Spike being Discord's 'loyal steed' might cause trouble. Can ya age regress Spike into a baby dragon so he doesn't scare everypony?"

"NOT ON YOUR LIFE!" Spike roared in AJ's face, the Earth Pony holding for dear life onto her hat.

"These ponies have family members who got turned INTO dragons they still speak with, don't worry."

Rarigreed wanting to be straight like friends should if we were really going to bring Apple Pie into our circle of friends. Of course Spike agreed with Rarity. Derpy wondered if she and Dinky should just go in alone. She was the 'gray mare' doomed to always trot outside Discord's castle but she wasn't known as evil, she was a victim and so was Dinky. It turned into a white noise I have no desire to repeat.

Sigh, time to be the leader again...

"Girls, and Spike. If we really want to show these ponies we've changed, that we're trying to help the world instead of hurt it, then Rarity's right. If we assume false identities and get Apple Pie to come with us and then reveal who we are, how different is that from kidnapping her?"

AJ lowered her head.

"One thing we do have on our side is Derpy. Everypony around here knows about her, that she's a victim of Discord and has been for a thousand years. It isn't a lie to say we freed her, is it, Derpy?"

"No, it's not."

"And that's something we have going for us, someone we saved. I know, it's a little dirty to use that fact like this, but it's a good bet it'd get us a hoof in the door. Derpy, I hope you don't feel like we're only using you...we're really not, I promise."

"It's alright, Twilight, I trust you."

She trusts me...that really feels good.

"One more thing, no pony, or dragon, tell Apple Pie we think she's the Element of Laughter. We've seen the Elements awaken due to personal epiphanies, Chaos and Harmony. The new Elements of Chaos made us immortal instead of killing us when Discord shoved the jewelry into our chests because Discord had crushed our old views to where we 'realized' the corrupted opposite. And they only became the purified versions when we saw the full picture. It might work differently when the physical Element is on hand, but that isn't going to happen unless we start cutting our own hearts out."

"Twilight!"

"Sorry Derpy. But I imagine telling someone they're an Element of Harmony would be a lot like trying to tell a foal what their special talent is."

"They'll just hear a lecture?" asked Applejack.

"Pretty much. It might be worse to tell them. So our goal is to try and get her to realize she's the Element of Laughter on her own."

(Waste of time)

Need the Elements to beat Discord, so we don't have a choice.

"Alright darling, that solves that...but while Apple Pie and Ditzy are not replacements, one replacement we do need is mine," said Rarity. "We quite honestly need an Element of Generosity."

I opened my mouth but meek and silent kindness Applejack was not.

"Well regardless, we need to focus on the task at hand right now. And Ah think we should at least try to look a little presentable," AJ said, everypony looked at her. "What? Even Ah know ya don't show up ta a weddin' covered in mud, and . . . this is a family reunion a thousand years overdue, we should all look clean at least." Her eyes wandered over to Rarigreed.

"What?" Rarigreed blinked at her.

AJ citing 'Cleanliness is next to Alicornish' and Rarity looking a mess and not even noticing it? I have a headache.

(Oh grow up. I told you they were no longer your friends.)

You're right, they're not the same friends, and neither am I. But that doesn't mean we aren't friends. I'm beginning to think you don't really know the first thing about friendship.

(I know more about the magic of friendship than you can dream Twilight The Unicorn.)

"She's not the only one who needs a bath," Spike replied with a chuckle.

I smelled my coat, I wasn't that bad, being on the receiving end of Discord's whims and acting on the front lines, the skin I was wearing normally was regenerated often enough to not have too bad an odor. Didn't mean sweat and dried blood from two big fights didn't stink though.

Dash scrubbed herself after every mission to the point her skin needed regenerating.

"Speak fer yerself darlin'," AJ said, I never stopped to realize Applejack DID still wash herself. Appearance was a part of image, and images were part of most illusions. "What about a bath for old Spike?"

"Go ahead and try," Spike said looking ready to defend himself.

"Erm, I'm sure he's fine," I grinned nervously.

Derpy seemed to notice too and curiously took a sniff of her own fur and the stink nearly knocked her out! Forgot Rarity wasn't the only one who hadn't had a bath for a thousand years! She may have even been MORE filthy than Rarigreed thanks to the sweat of a thousand years march, and going through whatever it happened to be raining at any given moment Twenty-Four/Seven for the last thousand years, which was rarely water. She had a nice physique at least.

"Twili, Derpy, can ya make a water rain cloud?"

"Yes, of course," I reply. I looked to Derpy, who nodded and, once more reluctantly, handed Dinky to Spike for safe keeping. She didn't want the muffin pony getting soggy after all.

"Wait, now what's happening?" Rarigreed asked, blinking.

I manifested a large white tub and conjured up a water rain cloud (I can't wait for this to be over and there to be only one type of rain cloud again) with my best sly grin while Derpy helped stabilize it and move it into place...then jumped on it several times to get it pouring.

I hate to admit it, but Spike's flames were a more effective water heater than my fireballs.

Rarigreed gazed at the tub, a suddenly look of fear in her eyes as she suddenly turned tail to run.

I magically lifted Rarigreed into the air.

Rarity squealed, "Put me down!"

I smiled, "Alright."

I dropped her over the tub, she caught the edge with all four hooves.

"Spike help!" Rarity called out.

"Whatever you say." Spike happily pushed Rarity from above into the tub with one finger.

Rarigreed gave a scream as she got soaked.

Rarity's head surfaced spitting out water. Derpy and AJ held her down as she tried to escape, splashing like a fish out of water, "Let me out!"

"We will . . . in a while," I said happily. I was having way too much fun with this. I was also happy to see something of Old Rarity show its head again. I transmuted a scrub brush or four from the rocks and got to work.

Though Rarity took some force, "I've got soap in my eyes!", we proceeded to wash a literal millennium's worth of dirt, sweat, and blood off.

AJ politely asked me to conjure a hair brush while we were at it and,

"OW! OW! STOP!" Rarigreed complained as Jack began the painful process of brushing out the plague of rat nests that infested Rarigreed's mane. Not literally!

"No can do, it's fer yer own good darlin'!"

Rarity might have had a bald spot by the time AJ was done if her immortality didn't keep replenishing the losses. Looking back on it, it might have been simpler to simply set Rarity on fire and have her immortality regenerate a new clean mane and coat for her. Joking! Mostly. While practical, immortal is not the same as 'incapable of pain.'

It took almost an hour, lots of soap and even some steel wool (once more magically manifested, hate to say it but thank you Master for making me learn the most random spells imaginable), but she was finally clean, and I believe about two or three shades lighter in color. Giving Spike his baths had been easier.

"Was that really necessary?" asked a rather ticked off Rarity as she tried to get her mane back in order.

I simply pointed down with a flat expression on my face to direct her attention to the fact the water in the tub was practically mud.

"Oh my... was I really THAT filthy?"

"That's what happens when you don't bathe for a thousand years and spend it wallowing around in rocks."

Rarity blinked, then blushed a little. "Well...I don't care, it wasn't that important!"

"Rarity, yah like bein' the center of attention, right?" Applejack asked.

"...Yes...I desire everyponies attention."

"Well what do yah think all that dirt, sweat, dried blood, and so on smelled like?"

"Well...you didn't seem to mind."

Twilight looked serious. "We've lived with you for a thousand years, Derpy's walked through skunk spray showers, and Spike is...well, a dragon. Sulfur is considered perfume to his species."

"I fail to see the point!"

"We're used to it, but how many ponies do you think would want to be around you smelling like that, let alone give you attention?"

"Valid point...You are right about needing to look, and smell, our best Applejack," The Element of Honesty said, "That doesn't mean I like having to lose a thousand years of badges of hard work in the process."

AJ opened her mouth, then remembered a farm pony from a thousand years ago who thought the same about the dirt on her hooves.

"Well, Ah know Ah'm gonna feel better after a good wash," Applejack replied, shaking herself dry from Rarity's filly-like splashing and putting her hat back on.

"To each pony their own," Rarity replied.

Spike flapped his wings lightly to blow her dry.

"And it'll make things a tad easier, ya certainly look like a pony instead of a zombie now." True, it was a small thing, but just a change of appearance could make a big difference.

(Of all the inane things the world is going to be doomed by, the historians will say evil won because the heroes stopped to wash their manes!).

Do you WANT me to waste more time giving a lecture on why this was a good idea to logically prove it to you? I have a soap box and I'm not afraid to use it!

We had to actually empty and clean the tub before AJ and I together could clean off two battles worth of gunk and dirt. It was still the first real bath I'd had for a thousand years, it felt great.

"Derpy, aren't you going to join us?" I asked looking up at her.

"I'll wash, with you Dinky, when you can take a bath again," Derpy said looking at her muffin, "The first bath I take in forever I want to be with my baby."

I decided not to argue against that. I'd offer her perfume, but I'd rather it not turn to gravel in her mane if the spell broke.

I'll admit, it did feel nice to feel clean again, and the hot bath (thank you Spike) had taken a lot of tension and stress out. Jack also returned some of Rarity's lessons to her on how to walk like a lady again after being in a delusional state for a thousand years.

It was my idea for us each to carry a white flag. Thankfully rocks again proved lovely raw material with enough overwhelming raw magic behind it. I know we were taking a lot from the rock farm but Jack was a member of the family so it wasn't, technically stealing. Besides, I'd grabbed a bunch of gems before I left the palace and planned to pay them back, I wasn't stupid enough to assume we wouldn't need something valuable out here. Where did I store them? Um...you don't want to know.

It would have been a lot more logical for Derpy and Dinky to lead our party, it wasn't like they couldn't see Spike a mile off anyway. But AJ wanted to go first, she was the immortal one and it was her family after all. Compromise worked wonders and the two shared the marching position, once again Dinky on Derpy's back. She wouldn't let another protect her child more than needed.

I couldn't shake the demented curiosity of whether or not Dinky was still a fresh muffin after a thousand years or had gone stale. I could tell she hadn't molded at least.

I really, really, really should have marched along in my Half-Light Dawn alter-ego, cause then maybe Cream Pie might not have greeted us with a grenade.

AJ thought fast and used herself as an Equine shield for Derpy and Dinky as it went off. Me? I was too shocked at having a bomb thrown at me. Cream Pie was my friend, or at least, Half-Light Dawn's friend, I hadn't stopped to think after they had saved my soul that they weren't going to waste time looking into the eyes of Discord's second-in-command to see if they recognized a friend in there. Yes, I was naive, you don't have to tell me! Spike brought a claw down between the grenade and me plus Rarity.

"Ya want more-?! We got more!" Cream Pie shouted sounding ready to fight to the death.

"WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU-!?" Derpy snarled at her, tears coming down her face that didn't make her the least bit less furious. Dust and debris still settling she stomped over the surprised filly and got in her face pushing her muzzle against hers. Cream Pie's eyes became like dinner plates and her centers shrank as Derpy looked into her soul. She had to crane her neck to look up at the furious adult. Both their legs were shaking, but for different reasons. "You could have hurt Dinky! Don't you know what a white flag means-?!"

"Erm, nope?" Cream Pie sweated and couldn't blink.

"Blip Neighpon 'Celestia top booking tour a kite can trust taunt woo walk!' MEANS WE'RE NOT LOOKING FOR A FIGHT AND JUST WANT TO TALK!"

"Don't you hurt my little cousin!" A green Earth Pony with three swirl rock candies on her flank shouted coming up from behind part of the crop looking ready to fight.

Okay. I didn't care if it added more chaos to the mix or not! I shape shifted to Half-Light Dawn in front of everypony.

"Minty Pie we ARE here to just talk! We don't wanna fight!"

She stopped dead in tracks in shock. "Hey, you're-you're the filly that was with Apple Pie the other day."

"And we're all here to just talk!" I calmed down a little. "Minty...please, just hear us out, ok?"

"I knew what a white flag meant," Banana Pie's head came out wearing her green headband from over a rock behind us. She was carrying a one-shot rocket launcher strapped to her side with wheels to make up for her small size. I'd have been more worried for her if she had been carrying a bazooka, a rocket launcher had nearly no recoil in comparison. "I thought it was a false flag."

"Huh?"

"That we were lying," I said, "Do you blame them?"

Rarity did the smartest thing she could and kept her mouth shut. We weren't in her area of expertise. Spike looked ready to end things fast if things did turn into a fight, immortality or not.

As the dust settled a lone cowpony hat slowly drifted down from where the blast had knocked it into the air and was caught by one of AJ's waiting forelegs and placed it back on her head. She did not look happy herself. "Watch it! You almost destroyed mah hat!" AJ had protected that hat from explosions, dragon fire, lightning strikes, machine gun bullets, and plasma cannons, and had sewed it up whenever it got damaged. What made that hat so special? "Derpy are ya and Dinky okay?"

"Thank you, yes."

The Earth ponies stared at the pony revealed by the parting dust.

"Saint Liarjack!" They echoed and bowed.

"We didn't recognize you! Sorry! Sorry!" Minty Pie said breaking out into a Mea culpa. "Please don't be angry at Cream and Banana! I'm the mare I should have known better!"

"Saint Liarjack?!" I turned to see AJ blushing like an apple. Just when I thought I'd been burned out of surprises for today.

The three fillies suddenly looked very guilty. "Uh oh..."

"Why am I not 'Saint' anything?" Spike asked.

"EEK! Boss Discord's dragon!" They shouted like they had just noticed the giant dragon. Were these ponies that used to dragons? Cream threw a pipe bomb at Spike's face. It left no real damage but soot on his muzzle. "I've had worse giant bee stings."

"Enough with the bombs!" Rarigreed exasperated.

"Hey! That's not nice!" Derpy reprimanded.

"Little gals, calmly down, they, erm... please get really excited, they mean lots of harm. And it's totally not okay ya slipped up there. That was a biggy."

"Oh, sorry," Cream Pie apologized. She looked confused at Applejack's last sentence.

"What's a filly like you doin' with all them bombs anyway?" Applejack asked.

"Make'em mahself," Cream Pie replied with an air of pride.

"Wait, so, but, then, what does Boss Discord want with us?" Banana Pie interrupted.

"Ahem, Ah have not gone back to my old name 'Applejack.' Ah am in no way related to you all. Ah am still serving Discord. Mah three friends here still work for Discord. We most certainly did not free ourselves. Derpy here is still trapped goin' round the castle to NOT undo the curse on the muffin that ISN'T really her baby girl. We don't need your help at all to break the curse on the muffin. Ah'm most decidedly NOT going to start talkin' the kind hearted truth after this sentence... It's wonderful to see mah family has lived all this time, you've got one Apple you can add to the Pie." AJ hugged each of them.

"Huh?" Derpy blinked, her eyes out of sync.

"Shush, 'Lairjack' remember? She's talking in opposites!" I magically distance whispered.

"Yah...yah are related to us?"

"Yeah, Ah am...You're Applebloom's descendants, aren't yah?"

"Saint Applebloom Of Sunnytown? Yeah, we've still got her picture in the house."

Applejack smiled at hearing her sister called a Saint. "Ah'm her big sis. Ah guess in a way, Ah'm yer aunt..."

"Well technically you're their multiple times great-Ow!"

After I elbowed Rarity for interrupting, the pies all looked shell shocked. They clearly respected Applejack...I imagine they felt the same as I would've if I found out Celestia was my multiple times great aunt.

"And these are mah family too...just not by blood, if that makes sense."

Minty Pie nodded slowly. "We have some ponies in our family like that..."

After a few moments, Cream Pie stepped forwards and hugged Applejack. "Welcome back, Aunt Applejack!" Her sibling did the same.

Then came the awkward silence of them getting ready to talk to the rest of us.

"Half-Light Dawn, is that really you?" Cream Pie asked.

"It's more me than last time Cream Pie, I promise." I hugged her and she hugged me back so hard my spine popped.

"Can someone please tell me what's going on-?!" Minty Pie cried out before somepony else did.

Where did we begin?

AJ said, "Ya may wanna to get some cider, this'll take a bit."

"What cider?" Banana Pie asked.

Applejack sighed, "A really long bit."

++++

We sat comfortably in the living room of the stone house of the Apple/Pie Clan. We only had one maybe two rock pies aimed at our heads, but the knowledge Applejack was family had calmed things down...Applejack actually cried when shown the picture of Applebloom, I wasn't sure which kind of tears they were. Spike was reduced to sitting outside observing the delightful exchanged through a window just big enough to fit one of his gentle, delicate, giant, destructive claw through.

I kept trying to explain that being immortal meant that we had little to fear, and that Apple and Pies should be serving the rock pies instead of being ready to throw them. I think I was making progress, Banana Pie had put away the rocket launcher. Considering we had been the tools of evil not ninety-six hours ago, I had not lost my faith the hospitality of the Apples.

'Saint' Applejack's promise we really weren't there to cause trouble, combined with me staying in my form of Half-Light Dawn, and Derpy and Dinky's presence, had a lot more to do with it than Spike's presence of force could hope to. Minty Pie even took a few waste gems out for Spike to eat...While Cream Pie was ready with the biggest bomb I had ever seen, just in case. Where did she get the raw material for all those bombs?

"So erm, what's your name?"

"Kenbroath Gillspotten Heathspike The Seventh."

"Don't you mean Master Kenbroath Gillspotten Heathspike The Fifth?"

"No, it's not 'Master' though it sounds cool, and it's the Seventh, the Fifth was my grandfather. Why?"

"Dunno, just felt familiar for a bit."

As I looked over the family, I was more and more convinced of one thing; I was happy we were getting them on our side.

(And wasting time.)

One; it's Applejack's family, show some respect. Two; Apple Pie is my friend. Three; they're all tough as nails and we need all the allies we can get at this point.

"But Applejack, darling, how can you possibly be known as a 'Saint?!'" Rarigreed asked actually managing to enjoy the rock candy and marble cake Minty Pie had served (ok, it wasn't that bad once I actually tried it, but she didn't even hesitate). "Not to air dirty laundry, but... " Rarity couldn't think of how to say it without it being that hurtful.

"Well, actually..." AJ blushed.
+++
"You're doing a wonderful job keeping the library intact Owlowiscious, I'll borrow these books this time. Sorry I need to go now, but see you next time," Ah said as Ah patted the old owl on the head and walked out of the library. The owl was old, and gettin' older, but Ah still wondered if he bought Mah Twilight act or whether he was playin' along because it made us both happy.

Ah was just wonderin' around one day and saw him still taking care of the library...waitin' for Twilight to come home. Ah remembered the stories of animals who had waited years for their masters to come home after they died...waited and waited but they never came back...Ah just couldn't bare lettin' that poor owl live out the rest of his life without ever seein' Twi' again...even if it was just me pretendin'...
+++
"What! You finished already! Couldn't you have left some for us?" Fluttercruel barked as Angry Pie growled somethin' fierce at me.

"Sorry, Master wanted'em done, and they're done, ya should have said somethin' if ya wanted me to save some for ya." Ah grinned.

Fluttercruel grunted, slashed my throat and stomped off, followed closely by Angry Pie.

"Are they gone yet?" Whispered one of the 'corpses' in the stage make up Ah had pilfered from Rarity's old place.

"Shush!" Ah whispered back.

Yeah, Ah know Ah'll get hurt...They always hurt meh for 'stealin' their kills'. But Ah can take it. Every hit Ah take is one someone who can't doesn't have to.
+++
"Thank you Bon-Bon, thank you for helping me remember, and thank you for forgiving me, I can sing in peace now," Lyra said, the seapony sticking her head out of the water and nuzzlin' all sweet like the Earth Pony.

The winds blew, and Sky Ocean floated away from the mountain peak.

Ah turned to 'Bon-Bon', "Thanks Moth."

"My pleasure." The elderly changelin' nodded, shiftin' back into her true form, holdin' her shape wasn't as easy as it used ta be.

Lyra had killed Bon-Bon on the day of chaos...the poor mare almost went mad with guilt...Ah know what it's like to never be forgiven, to have that hole in yer heart nothin' can fill. Ah knew even bein' a Seapony didn't take all that hurt away, even if she couldn't remember why she hurt in the first place. Ah might not be able to fill the hole in mah heart, but Ah could fill the hole in hers...besides, Moth deserved some closure too, she loved em like her own family.
+++
The poor mare set on Fluttercruel's table...yah-yah don't want ta know more than that...just know she didn't have much time left.

Fluttercruel had gotten bored...a lot of times that was worse than when she finished up. "P-please...don't let her do this to my family..." the mare pleaded, tears running down her cheeks.

Ah looked her in the eyes. "Ah promise, the bad mare won't get her claws in 'em."

"T-thank you..." she said, before she let go and her spirit left her.

Was that truth or a lie? It's happened both ways more times than Ah care ta count. But it don't change the fact it let their last moments be in peace. That's all that matters.

+++

"Remember, ya should totally act like ya know me and say all over the place how Ah didn't hurt ya behind mah Master's back."

"Alright Saint Liarjack."

"Ah'm totally ah Saint."

"Yes Saint Liarjack."
+++
"And all the time Ah told the truth about not doin' the deed when we were out enforcin' the 'no magic' rule."

"But what about-" I shoved another piece of marble cake in Rarigreed mouth.

No one but Discord, Spike, and us six knew what happened to Cadence at Avalon. Wait, no, that's a lie. Applejack had taken the heat for me during Grogar's invasion. But I wasn't about to bring out Jack's sins right after she had confessed her secret virtues.

"So everyone knew about this except us, Discord and Spike?"

"Personally, Ah think Discord might've known, didn't matter if Ah was helpin' ponies, since Ah was bein' sneaky and lyin' 'bout it, he thought it was cool."

Ah remembered Discord's reaction earlier...ugh, I wish I could erase that image from my brain.

Minty Pie gasped, "But Big Rock Discord LIKES seeing ponies die!"

"No, because that ends the game," Rarigreed said, "He likes to see ponies squirm like a rat in a trap, he likes people being as insane as he is, he likes emotionally breaking ponies, he likes people to be like him. He is vain. And that shade of green of his tuxedo Ponythulu gave him was garish."

"What does that last one have to do with anything?" I asked.

"It's true isn't it?"

"I didn't think it was such a bad shade," Minty Pie admitted.

(She forgot a psychopathic manchild, cowardly, a bully, uninspired, lazy, greedy, a liar, and terrified of his own feelings.)

"If you wish to call her 'Saint', then I think 'Saint Jacqueline' has a nicer ring to it," Rarigreed gave her honest opinion.

This sparked a new debate amoung the Pies and Apples on which sounded more 'Saintly.' Jack politely kept her mouth shut.
+++
Ah let'em call me a Saint. 'Cause that gives'em hope, it helps give'em a reason to believe, and that's what they need more than ever with the storm up ahead, but Ah reek of sin. If there was an Apple that deserved to be called a Saint, it was Apple Bloom. She didn't let her curse stop her from lovin' Lance or Sword Bloom, she used it help Sunnytown, she didn't let herself become a monster. She beat Discord in a way none of us could. Bloom, you were a wonderful adult. Ah just pray Ah can live up ta the faith yah have in me, little sis.

When Ah told 'em Saint Applebloom saved mah soul, that got them right excited. Yeah, Ah told 'em. Because Ah knew just what it'd mean ta them ta know their ancestor had finished her the last thing she had wanted ta do with her life; fix mah heart.

"So ya heard mah, our stories," Ah said after they agree to disagree and ta save what to engrave on mah statue after Discord is history. Yeah, we told'em what we were out ta do, and they didn't none call us crazy or liars. We were gonna save the world from Discord. Cream Pie offered us her favorite bombs.

We got a dozen questions 'bout what Equestria was really like before Discord came along. Ah promised Cheery Pie she wasn't gonna split into a pegasus and griffin when Discord was beat.

No Ah wasn't thinkin' 'bout making the farm fer apples again, they were happy farmin' rocks, and Ah wasn't gonna dictate different ta them how ta be happy. "What do ya all say?"

Apple Computer took mah front hoof with a big grin, "Welcome back ta the family Saint Apple Jacqueline!"

The rest of the clan cheered. Ah shuddered, Ah tried not to cry and failed. Humble Pie and Cheery Pie hugged me. Ah actually cried harder. After a thousand years, Ah was accepted back, just like that. Ah was family.

+++
I, Rarity or Rarigreed (both are true), was envious of Applejack. So very jealous. Ugly, but honest. After a thousand years, her line had endured, and they accepted her with open arms. If we save Pinkie Pie (Honesty now remember?), then she has a family waiting to heal her too. I lost the family I had before Discord, and now I've lost the family I replaced them with, painstakingly brought together from those who needed a family of their own. Why did they leave me when Twilight made me face myself? Because they saw how ugly I was inside after a thousand years? Or were they like Sweetie? And felt they had served their duty of keeping my heart from completely abandoning bonds with ponies? I didn't think about it until now, but I never forced any of them to stay with me.

Or maybe I was simply a mad mare and the power to house them within me was all in my head, and being made sane again made them vanish.

I felt a tap on the the shoulder. I looked to see Spike having reached his arm in to give me a gentle hug, I hugged his hand in return. Or maybe they just saw I had finally found my own family again after all. Does it matter?

"So," Applejack spoke, "Do ya accept mah friends too?"

Mr. Apple Computer turned rather solemn, "We ain't the ones who need to accept Miss Tragedy, er, Miss Twilight. Apple Pie's the one's she put on an act fer, Apple Pie's the one has to say whether she's welcome here or not."

"Of course she's welcome silly! Friends are always welcome!"

It was her, the orange filly with orange skin and green mane. She still had the scar on her forehead from Fluttercruel's weapon, at least she wasn't wearing that ugly bonnet now.

She had also apparently been hanging from the ceiling this whole time eavesdropping!

She is beyond all doubts descendant from Pinkie Pie's family.
+++

"Apple Pie!" I gasped.

"Howdy Half-Light!"

"You-" I kept myself from suffering a brain error. "-Apple Pie. How long you were there? I was about to ask where you were!"

"Oh, Ah was holdin' onto the ceilin' since ya came in. Ah was gonna give Big Banana Discord's buddies a big surprise! But it was you instead!"

"Lazy," Banana Pie deadpanned.

"Why didn't you say anything earlier?"

"Ah didn't wanna interrupt such a heart warmin' scene! Ya and yer friends were all gettin' smiles on yer faces!"

"I see."

Her family didn't seem phased one bit.

Derpy smiled at her.

She was still the same filly with the scar on her forehead, she had that same weird positive aura, but it felt more focused.

"So," I asked, "You accept me?"

"Like duh! That what Ah just said ain't it? We're friends aren't we? Ya didn't steal Granny's secret recipe for Rock Pie so ya didn't take anythin' we'd not have given ya anyway. Goin' 'round undercover for stuff we would have just told ya? Kinda fun!"

"Well, I didn't think I could have just asked."

"Well that's just silly . . . we're friends aren't we?"

"We weren't friends then."

"Oh! So you wanted to make friends! I gotcha."

"No Apple Pie, you made me into a friend." I hugged her, "And thank you so much!"

Spike blinked away hot tears at the scene.

"And Rarity?" I asked looking Apple Pie in the eye.

She looked at Rarity then back at me, "She yer friend?"

"Yes."

"Rarity's yer friend too?" She asked Applejack.

"Ya bet."

"Whao kay then! If friend and family say she's trustworthy? Then she's trustworthy!"

Rarity startled. "I, thank you young miss."

"Call me Apple Pie, and it's nothin'."

"No, please, thank you. But, darling...you do realize...all the horrible things we've done...and you still trust us? You still...forgive us?"

"Do yah want ta do those things again?"

"Heavens no!"

"And would yah have done 'em if yer brain hadn't been monkeyed with?"

"No..."

Apple Pie gave a smile. "Then yah were just Discord's toys, no different than anypony else. And besides, what's the point in holdin' a grudge on somepony? Grandma had a sayin', before she got turned into a dragon; 'Apple Pie, now justice is like apples. It's sweet and yah eat it, then it's done. But holdin' grudges is like a poison apple, no, not yer sister. Yah eat it, and everythin' seems fine and dandy, but then it starts eatin' away at yah till there ain't nothin' left. And eatin' more just makes it worse. So don't go eatin' poison apples, or grudges, cause they'll both make yah sick'...Grandma liked Changelings, eatin' grudges makes 'em sick."

Rarity blinked. "Yes...I see you point." Rarity, shaking, nuzzled Apple Pie.

(You can't blindly trust them! If they betrayed their bastard master, why wouldn't they betray you?)

'Cause Ah ain't their bombasted master silly! Didn't yah just hear what Ah said about grudges? Yah must be hard of hearin'. Maybe Grandpa Rock Pie can lend yah a hearin' aid.

"And this is Spike, and Derpy."

"Hey!" Derpy admonished.

"And her daughter Dinky, who's cursed. They're all friends of mine too. And Spike is my Number One Assistant."

"Heh, well, ain't that somethin', Ah know ma and grandma would like ya! But this ain't the way ta do things!"

She shook Rarity's hooves. "Ah'm Apple Pie, nice ta meetcha."

"Erm, Lady Rarity 'Rarigreed' Bell. A pleasure to meet you."

She hugged AJ, "Ah'm Apple Pie, nice ta meetcha too, Auntie."

"Nice, nay, wonderful ta meetcha Apple Pie."

"Ah'm Apple Pie, nice ta meetcha three." She reached out the window and shook the tip of one of Spike's claws.

"Seventh actually, Kenbroth Gilspotten Heathspike The Seventh. But please just call humble old me Spike."

"Ah'm Apple Pie, nice ta meetcha four." She shook one of Derpy's wings.

"I'm Derpy Hooves, or Ditzy Doo, you can choose, nice to meetcha five." She smiled back happily.

"Oh and, erm, Ah'm Apple Pie, it's nice ta, meetcha, six." Apple Pie reached out to touch Dinky, Derpy's wings folded around Dinky like a venus-pony-trap. Derpy gave her a 'hooves off' look as powerful as any force field. "Oh, sorry. Yah remind me of how mah ma was like around us after Big Banana Discord her inta a dragon."

Banana Pie nodded. Apple Computer hugged her.

"What about me?"

"Don't be silly Half-Light, I already know you."

I shifted form.

Apple Pie startled, I expected her to scream and run. Instead she stared for a few seconds and shrugged, "Ah still know ya." She shook my hoof, "Welcome back ya'all."

(Such blindness.)

No. Belief.

They finally put away the pies after that. And we got invited for dinner. I paid Apple Computer for the bath rocks despite his protests. I still hesitated to tell Apple Pie the real, my reason for coming back here. I wasn't sure how to even begin. I kept forcing Rarity extra helpings of marble cake until she was on the verge of whining about her figure. I would just grin and nod. AJ would give a pat on the back.

Spike ate like a horse... you know that phrase never did make sense. The Apples and Pies were more than happy to keep shoveling rocks down his gullet. Was there anything dragons couldn't eat? But after awhile, he stopped because he didn't want to eat up so much there was none left for us. That's my Spike.

Whatever secret they had for making rocks edible, they were only willing to share with Applejack and she, "I can't go tellin' the rest of ya. It's a matter of principles."

"Friends don't keep secrets, secrets don't keep friends." Rarity said.

Derpy came between the two, "There's a difference between secrets between ponies and secrets about things."

Rarity sighed but conceded.

Spike volunteered to helped move some of the rocks from the storage barn (promising his wouldn't eat the profits) as trading time came around and Rarity choose to help him.
++++
Yes darlings I know, 'Honesty' not 'Truth' as the lady of details I should know the difference. But, after a thousand years of Discord's delusion, even an open secret as simple as a family recipe rubbed wrong against my raw skin.

(You should have stuck with generosity.)

Even generosity is a desire to give, and I have no desire to let go of what's mine. I needed some air.

(You're giving help to Spike.)

Spike is helping, I merely go where he goes.

(Doesn't that make you his?)

I merely do not wish something to happen to him when he's out of my sight. A family of dragons consider one another each other's property.

"I'm sure he'll like that we have the stones for him ahead of time." Cheery Pie said getting my attention.

How did a hippogriff sneak into either family's tree? Least she carries hooves and claws well.

"Who is he?" I asked.

Cue dramatic entrance stage center. Out popped a diamond dog. No it couldn't be, living crystal or not now, diamond dogs did not live that long.

"Hello Guru Fido." Cheery Pie bowed.

No, it was still a common enough name, and besides, descendants could resemble their ancestors.

"Greeting Hippogriff Cheery Pie . . . And Master Heathspike, and Lady Desire."

The diamond dog just bowed at us politely as well.

"Lady Desire-?!" I let out. Not that I didn't like the name, it was just not one I had claimed yet.

"If it was a trap, you'd have attacked me at once. If you were holding Cheery Pie's family hostage she would not have greeted me in such a friendly manner. And you no longer smell of madness." Madness has a smell? "And if the dragon was still a slave, he'd not be standing so proud. If this was a trick, you'd have had Cheery Pie alone to speak positively of you first. You have lived a thousand years, you would not perform in such an amateurish fashion if this was a deception. If you only seemed to be who you appear to be, your scent would be different. Or if you came from another universe, your inner aura would be slightly off. Shall I go on?"

I was astounded at the logic coming out of the Diamond Dog's mouth.

(Is every servant of good in this Tartarus hole blindly naive!? *If voices were a visible medium, I'd swear it was like words were twisted into knots with rage*)

"So you're not going to hurt Rarity?" Spike asked.

"No. Master Heathspike, I am not. Diamond Dogs do not hold grudges. I would love to hear the truth of your awakening Lady Desire. But if I am not back within my window I shall be declared dead, mourned, and the pack will relocate. I best be off. But I hope we shall speak again next time I come."

"I promise we'll make time when we can," I said politely.

Guru Fido brought out jewels as Cheery Pie gave him rocks and quickly collapsed the tunnel behind him.

"He comes here often?" I asked.

"Regularly."

"I'll have to speak with him when he can make time then."

"Rarity, just so you know, I'd never let them hurt you again."

I wondered if that was self-revised memory on Spike's part or simply wishing to have something nice to say. I patted him on the side. "I know Spike, I know you wouldn't."

'Lady Desire?' It was a beautiful name. I want it...but I do believe I will need to learn more of why he calls me that before I take it as my own.

We returned to the Apples Pies soirée and I shall admit, there was a certain feeling of liberty of not being as fixated on tact as I was once upon a time. The stone house reminded me slightly of the castle, that as a filly, I imagined myself living in once I became a queen. No I didn't have any imaginary friends thank you vey much. I had more important things to spend my imagination on.

Stone scones were surprisingly palatable, the chocolate milk was potable (lactose intolerance had died out from the genome hundreds of years ago). As for exploding chocolate milk, Spike and the Apples Pies had cast iron stomachs, and we were immortal. But I happily switched to the rock soup instead. It was surprisingly delectable.

Twilight appeared to be holding up well, and Applejack was an Earth pony. I could see traces of the Pie clan's staunch traditionalism and inherent insanity had survived mixing into the stubbornness and diligence of the Apple family. Maybe that was why they had managed to survive in a world where everything was a russian roulette.

"Hamburger?" Offered Cheery Pie (she was a Hippogriff).

"That's awful!"

Cheery Pie's beak quivered.

"Don't be weird!" Twilight reminded me. "All the sapient cows became supreme enlightened beings and ascended to a higher plane of existence away from our petty affairs three years after Discord began his reign, remember?"

I shook my head and hugged Cheery Pie, "Oh right, I greatly apologize Cheery. But I wonder what happened to them."

++++

"Salad?" Daisy Jo the cow pushed the salad bowl across the table at Ponythulu.

"Certainly! Just let me add that special spice my cousins gave me." He picked up a plastic jar marked 'Wails of Madness: 100% Natural Healthy Screams of Mad Ponies' he unscrewed the lid and shook it upside down over the salad, howlings of raving lunatics filled the dinning room. Ponythulu then happily devoured the entire salad with his muzzle tentacles in one go.

++++

Derpy was keeping Dinky safe first and foremost. She looked rather nervous as she looked at the mineral menu, before trying something. To my surprise she began coughing.

"Derpy?" AJ asked worried.

"S-Sorry, it's just, it's just been so long since I've actually -eaten- anything. But I was beginning to get hungry after we made the black birds go away."

We three immortals were given our umpteenth glass of cold water. I had, we had, slipped back into eating and drinking so naturally, it was natural, but our immortality made eating something I didn't really think about. When was the last time any of us had eaten save Fluttercruel and her, blech, hamburgers? It was like going to the theater, something regular, but not needed. We certainly hadn't starved ourselves in the last thousand years but . . . it was just not something we gave much thought about. I think the only reason we still slept was to keep ourselves from going totally stark raving mad.

"It's alright darlin', here, I'll help ya," AJ said calmly as she helped Derpy through it, like Derpy was a child, but the humble pegasus accepted without complaint or humiliation. No one laughed at her.

For a moment, just one moment, I could close my eyes, listen to the happy sounds around me, and pretend it was a thousand years ago, that this was still Sweet Apple Acres, that this was an Apple Family Reunion, and I was doing my best to be polite and civil among a herd of rural rubes who just wanted to be your friend and stuff you like turkey. Wonderful times.

I opened my eyes.

"Catch me Half-Light!" Apple Pie jumped off a stack of boxes.

Twilight caught her (with magic). "Apple Pie, it's Twilight."

She nuzzled the adult mare, "You'll always be Half-Light to me."

I saw the tiny smile tugging at Twilight's face. It was so beautiful to see.

Spike allowed himself to be used as jungle gym as the day and night flipped slides in a projector. I saw him smile! He didn't try to hide it! Underneath those wings and muscles, Spike was still Spike who waited a thousand years for me to come out of the darkness. And I loved him for it.

This was a trap. Not all traps are made by enemies or are made with malicious intent. It would be so simply to pretend we could stay here forever, pretend we could stay hidden under Discord's nose with Spike outside and us inside, maybe use Applejack's illusions to hide us and him. Just enjoy this tiny island of happy in an ocean of chaos.

But that wasn't reality. Element of Desire, I know more than anyone how important your desires are to you... Twilight didn't want the sparkling little thread between her and Apple Pie to change now that she had tasted it. Poor Twilight, a thousand years later and she's still petrified of loss.

I'm sorry Twilight, recess is over.

"You know Apple Pie," I interrupted calmly, "We came all this way just to see you."

"See me?"

This time I dodged the slice of marble cake Twilight tried to shovel in my mouth and she ends up feeding Applejack instead.

"Hey! Can I have some?" Derpy asked happily licking Applejack's face.

I know Twilight had given her speech... but I just felt like this was a time telling the truth would help. Like the Element of Honesty itself was telling me.

"Oh yes Apple Pie, you. You see Apple Pie, Twilight believes your special in a way that can help everypony."

Twilight looked a bit scared and opened her mouth, this time I pushed the cake down her pie hole.

"Now as I'm sure you heard while eavesdropping as we explained ourselves, in our amaranthine existences only you has managed-"

"Arma-Aunt-Rind?"

"Amaranthine, it means something that never fades and is immortal, named after a mythical flower. My dear, out of all that time, out of all those centuries, out of all the many, many, many mortal ponies who were actively trying, you're the first person to ever break through Twilight's cold icy shell and find the pony inside."

"It was nothin'."

Out of Apple Pie's vision I held back Twilight and gave her horn a wobble as she tried to interrupt.

"It was quite the opposite of that dear. ~Or rather, that's why it's so amazing. You see, your brilliant summary, exploration, and demonstrations of antinomy-"

"Ah'm not a doctor."

"No no no, antinomy 'a contradiction between two beliefs that unto themselves are reasonable.'"

"They got a word for it?"

"There's a word for everything. You did all that Apple Pie. Your siblings may have helped, but you were the key that unlocked the room inside Twilight that she had hidden herself away in. And the most amazing part is, for you, it was nothing. It came as second nature, you didn't NEED to know to be able to. Twilight believes, that this might make you somepony we really need right now! And there is no harm in finding out."

"So . . . what do you want me to help you do?"

"Just save the world." I could hear Twilight's brain have a break down.

"It'll be great!" Derpy waved a hoof. "This isn't the first time I've been in a 'Going To Save The World' Club! It's really scary, and there are lots of times where you can get hurt! But it's wonderful!"

"Say what now?" Applejack asked, looking confused. I did not see that coming.

"Me and the Doctor, before...before Discord got to him... He... he helped a lot of ponies. And I helped him."

"Who?"

"The V-Valeyard, before Discord made him a bad pony." That was the same look we had when hoping to free the others.

"Did ya ever bring Dinky on those 'adventures?'" Applejack asked. It looked like Applejack wasn't too comfy bringing it up.

Derpy moved her eyes at her, not moving her head. She folded the wings around the muffin slightly tighter. "When I had to. When I needed to. When she could help when nopony else could. I was scared sick for her every time. But . . . she was so happy to when she could help us."

"And we want you to help us. That is, if you can, we're not sure yet, I'm sorry for not saying this part first, but--, well: Remember those Elements of Harmony we mentioned?! The glowing marks? Twilight's hoping you could be Laughter!"

"So THAT'S what this is!"

Apple Pie turned around and pulled up on her mane, showing on the back of her neck the glowing outline of an Apple slice and Orange slice together, the color was that of the blue element of laughter.

"Ah had to wear mah hair bonnet while sleepin' cause it wouldn't turn off. Where's the switch to'em? What's with the silent treatment all of a sudden? Erm, are you gals okay? Huh? Half-Light! Half-Light! Aw' man Ah think they fainted!... Where did she get the couch to land on?"

+++

We are legion, we are one, we are united in thought, and our thought is thus: I/Ah thought immortals didn't get these kind of headaches!

"Hey! Ah think they're wakin' up! So after ya left, and Ah thought all the fun we had when ya visited, how good it felt to get a laugh out of yah and laugh 'bout the good times Ah had with Poison, Magica, Caster, and Puella. Ah was feelin' tired and pulled the drapes over mah bed and found this funny light on mah neck. Ah figured it was just some random joke by Big Banana Discord and giggled at it and it glowed brighter."

(No matter how many times that happens it's still cliche.)

The three of us had cool washcloths on our heads as we laid on our backs, Derpy and Apple Pie looking over us. Their backsides and our faces were reflected in one of Spike's eyeballs above us.

"Did we dream ya havin' the Element of Laughter on yer neck?" AJ asked.

"Ya mean the glowin' second-cutie mark thingie? Nope!" She showed the Element of Laughter once more.

"Can't we go on one epic adventure to find an Element? It's going to seem hackneyed when they write my biography," Rarigreed complained.

So if that was Rarigreed, and before that was AJ, that means I must be Twilight! Oh right! "We're going to get plenty of 'epic' when we face Discord, Rarity, so please stop, you're not even using the Whining Voice, and I still feel like hammers pounding on my ears."

I waited for somepony to say they were wondering where they left those tools but thank Cadance none did.

"It's not that bad."

"You're slipping AJ, that lie was lousy," I said.

"Sorry, wasn't tryin' mah hardest."

"Anyway, remember when we became the Element bearers?" I said, "We ALL ended up in Ponyville at the same time, five of us lived there before I arrived. The Elements of Harmony are a set, it makes sense they're drawn to one another."

"I'm so happy you're alright!" Our loyal blond with the boyish voice said hugging us.

We just laid there (apparently in a bedroom with a big window for Spike to fit his head through) for a while as the headache faded. Some things regeneration just couldn't cure.

"So that's five down, one to go right?" Spike asked.

"Actually," I said, not happy about Rarigreed's bluntness, "We never got your answer, Apple Pie. You want to help? Fight Discord? Save the world? Make it so nopony has to be his toys ever again? And get a couple of rulers who CARE about you all, the way you care about your family?"

"Hmmm? Whose that?" She asked.

It took several hours to explain Celstia and Luna to Apple Pie, who only knew about Queen Cadence. She never knew there were OTHER Alicorns out there. She listened, she just listened absorbing it all, smiling.

"Too good to be true," "No way they can be real," "I'm not that little to believe in the Tooth Flutterpony." Apple Pie said none of these.

"They sound fun," was her only response.

And it made me smile!

"They were, and Princess Celestia was, is my mentor. Once Discord's gone you can meet her... " Time to get back to the point.

"So Apple Pie, it'll be dangerous, you could end up dead. Three of us are immortal and a dragon, you're not. But none of your family or anypony will have to suffer because of Discord again. Do you want in?" I asked, wishing I had more experience with foals other than the CMC.

"And you'll get to be a hero who will be forever remembered as one of the ones who ended the thousand year rule of an evil tyrant," Rarigreed added. "Probably get a statue."

Some things never change.

"So...what do you say?"

"Huh? Ah didn't say so before? Sorry sorry! Of course Ah'm in! Ya couldn't stop me if ya wanted!"

I smiled (about the only muscles I could move), "Welcome to the Elements of Harmony, Apple Pie."

"Glad to be in! Now one question."

"Yes?"

"Yah never told me how ta make it stop glowin'."

Author's Notes:

Edited this chapter, (episode 81, Because Rarity's reaction to be cleaned as she was after 1000 years under Discord didn't feel right to me, ever).

Omake Dark World: Hearth Warming's Eve

"Howdy every Shadows Who Watches! It's Pinkie Pie here! Yes that Pinkie Diane Pie! The one from our main timeline! Broadcasting to you live again from atop the forth-wall . . . wow I can see the toy factory in China I was first produced in from here . . . I bet it's full of love and happiness! . . . Never mind.

"Anyway POV Ponies, the Dark World arc is far, far, far from over. I mean, the pages of notes left are longer than a chapter! But I promise it'll be a worth while ride every chapter! After all, it's gonna take a lot of work to fix up a world messed up by Discord. I wonder what kind of party I could try to throw HIM to get him to stop driving ponies insane. Oh well.

"Anywho POV Ponies, and I see you in the audience Neo Stream and Coffee Swirl! Hiii! I hope that CGI verse is working out for you Neo Stream, and have fun chatting with the interviewers Coffee Swirl!

"Well, we have a lot of the next couple chapters written, but I'm guess you can guess what'll happen next so I don't need to spoil you! But now it has to go through editing, a lot, the author really doesn't know grammar. I wish I could throw Meanie Pants Me a party! But Celestia's Papa and her sister with the mechanical wing told me that would rip a hole in time and space and wipe out half of both universes.

"I wanted to do another Pinkie Pie Forth Wall Breaking Variety Show, but the author, the editor, and the producer of the audio adaption, have put together this sweet little short work set in the dark world for ya! Alright everypony, shadow, everyone, please enjoy the show!"

"Pinkie! Who are you talking to?"

"Oh! No one Rarity!"

Pony POV Series
Dark World Omake
I-Don't-Have-A-Clue-Canon
"Hearths Warming Eve."

"It's the nine-hundredth, and ninety-eighth year of our Master's reign! Ponies called it the end of the world as they knew it! But I feel fine!" Fluttercruel danced about with a meat cleaver and a broadsword like they were gymnastic streamers.

"Yes my dear! It is a wonderful time! Let us uplift a random town into the glories of complete and utter insanity! I win! Ha ha!" Discord said wearing a party hat, "But what I don't get is, how and why that old bearded reindeer keeps breaking into my castle every Hearth Warming's Eve just to hand me a lump of coal."

Twilight Tragedy added, "What I find strange is how Angry Pie just stares mindlessly for twenty-four hours at the minty green socks he always leaves her."

Fluttercruel said, "You ought to ASK her about that, then."

"Not worth upsetting her with questions."

Greedity grumbled, "The rest of us keep getting underwear. Except Fluttercruel, she gets two diamonds while Master gets one, lucky."

Fluttercruel blurted out, "I just wanna know why won't he just DIE already!!"

Discord growled. Just the THOUGHT of that reindeer's annual infiltration filled him with bile...

"...turned a foal into a stereo system, forced Rainbow Dash to push an old mare and her newborn granddaughter over a cliff, in order to get you to spare all of Cloudsdale..."
It had been an EXASPERATINGLY TEDIOUS twelve hours. Through it all, The Reindeer had just kept on plowing through his long and painstakingly unabridged list of transgressions which Discord had committed, starting from 365 days ago. It floated in front of The Reindeer's face, several hundred pages thick.

"...transformed three innocent mares into a companion for Cerberus..."

Snarling, Discord snapped his fingers, and a 10-ton safe fell on The Reindeer...who simply opened it up from the inside and walked out like nothing happened.

"Putting itching powder in a certain cow pony's hat. Cursed all who die to rise from the dead and zombies and attack, oh wait, you got bored of that one and removed it. My mistake."

The Valeyard let out curses as the The Reindeer had swapped out his keys to the TARDIS for a lump of coal, NO ONE STOLE THE KEYS OF THE TARDIS FROM HIM!!! He also swapped the battery for his Sonic Screwdriver for a piece of candy cane. "You'll get them back when the Holidays is over." The Reindeer said.

"...gave a love-starved mare cursed chocolates that gave her aneurysms every time she tries to talk to any stallion..."

How was he even able to COMPILE these rap sheets?

Some ultra-sophisticated 24-hour surveillance network? Clairvoyance of some sort? Or WHAT IF he was in with the Alicorns...?! Suppose one of Celestia's siblings up in Pony Heaven had decided it was finally time to stop being an unresponsive nonparticipant in mortal affairs and actually... nah, that was just DUMB.

"Completely rearranged the words of a manuscript someone worked their entire life writing..."

It would have been one thing if The Reindeer were speaking in a monotonous drone. Seething venom would've even been FUN to sit through! Instead, there was unmistakable good humor and merriment in his voice. You'd almost think he was a comedian reading off a series of Top 10 Lists of Blunders... a comedian too professional to actually laugh out loud himself.

"...Turned a family of ponies into dragon flies, then their pet dog into a living plush frog..."

Twilight Tragedy fired a magical beam at the Reindeer, but it just phased right through him like a hologram.

"...and put the empty milk carton back in the fridge." The Reindeer adjusted his reading glasses on the bridge of his nose. "...My, you've been a VERY naughty boy this year, Discordance."

"Why! Won't! You! Die! Already?!" yelled Discord, dropping exploding mailboxes on the Reindeer, but his body simply refused to burn.

"Ho ho ho! You still don't understand, do you, Discordance?" asked the Reindeer, walking up to him, ignoring all attempts on his life with the same jolly glee. Even when Angry Pie leapt onto his back to bash him into meat paste... it was like watching a pigeon trying to peck a statue to death.

"Can't touch Christmas... oh, sorry, I meant Hearth's Warming Eve with bad intentions..."

"Corporate Equestria says otherwise! Twilight Tragedy! He's a threat to our perfect chaos!"

"Yes, Master." Twilight Tragedy obediently cast a disintegration spell. It bounced off him like a tennis ball off a brick wall.

"Misguiding someone else's good intentions still counts as bad intentions, Discordance. Particularly when you were the one who indoctrinated like that in the first place, and the true heart can never be touched by wicked intent," said the Reindeer, reaching into his bag and taking out a very large lump of coal and placing it in Discord's lion paw.

He then handed wrapped presents to the five visible ponies in the room, but stopped at Traitor Dash and Liarjack. "...You still don't want better gifts? Rainbow Dash? Applejack?"

"No...I don't deserve it..." Traitor Dash replied, her head down.

"Ah do. That's not a lie at all."

"Why do you even visit us?"

The Reindeer sighed. "Because, a mare who is constantly forced to make impossible judgment calls by a very naughty draconequus and a mare who lies for the sake of
reducing suffering are not naughty at heart."

"We've done a LOT naughtier things besides that."

"You were FORCED to do those things."

"We still did 'em, though."

"Suit yourself." He simply handed them their gifts of underwear. "Well, I'll see you next year, Discordance, I've got lots of places to go! Just because you're being a naughty boy doesn't the whole world is!"

"One moment," Discord called out, and The Reindeer looked over his shoulder.

"Every year, like clockwork, you waltz on in here, bypassing every deathtrap, ... all impervious, all omnipotent... clearly you don't lack for power! You know how very committed I am to naughtiness."

And Discord bit down on his lump of coal, chewing it like a cookie.

"But you never go the next step! What keeps you from banishing me? Why do you even bother coming?!"

For the briefest instant, the look in The Reindeer's eyes could have frozen stars.

"Because that's not what this special holiday is for. And I bother because... it's always worth reminding you that you aren't the final word in power."

Then the sunny twinkle returned to his eyes. As he swung his bag over his shoulders and turned to go, Fluttercruel leapt off a balcony and tried to behead him with a katana, but his neck just reconnected without missing a beat. "Ah, Fluttercruel, almost forgot you," he said, taking two lumps of coal and handing them to her. "You actually managed to be slightly less naughty this year, so I made them smaller! Ho ho ho!"

Then he strode out, humming 'A Circle Of Friends' to himself, while Angry Pie stared blankly at her own gift.

"And there ya go! A christmas story, oops! I mean Hearth Warming Eve story in the middle of August! But give it a few months and those reading this then it will be the right time of year! Well everypony and everyone, we all hope you enjoyed the show! Oh and as an extra non-canon bonus!"

RD and Gilda looked around confused as they walked into view.

"Hey Dash! I mean! Flip-flop! What are you doing here?"

"ME?! What are YOU doing here, you fake friend!"

"FAKE?! I'll have you know-"

"Hey! Gilda! Dashie! Don't catch!" Pinkie Pie threw a couple of water balloons at them.

"Wait? Don't catch? What do you-Agh!" RD and Gilda were soaked, and became a griffon chick and foal.

"Hey Gilly!" Said foal Dashie in a high pitched voice.

"Hey Dashie!" Replied Gilly defying several biological laws by smiling cutely with her beak!

"Wanna play Ponies Rangers?"

"Whao kay!"

Pinkie Pie waved, "Okay! Now we're done! Love you ya! And keep smiling!"

Episode 82: (Dark World) Generous

Pony POV Series
Dark World Part 13
Generous

The fillies and colts gathered around Apple Pie, cheering for their sister (or cousin, or friend) after we explained to Apple Pie everything we knew about the Elements, including showing off what powers we could. I also had to explain that the Elements of Chaos were NOT inherently evil. We had simply held their corrupt forms while we, ourselves, were corrupted. Now, of course, we embodied their purified ones. Then she asked about superpowers! And I was stuck admitting I thought the Harmony Elements were just pretty looking without all six until a couple days ago.

"Do ya get a cool costume?" "Do you think yah'll get yer own comic?" "Give'em Tattarus!"

Unanimous support for Apple Pie. Not an envious eye in the herd. They were descendants of the Apple clan, after all, being jealous of your own family simply didn't enter the equation. Apple Computer and Rocky Senior from hugging their daughter/granddaughter and telling her to be careful. And Aunt Apples N. Oranges warned her not to take any candy from strangers.

As 'team leader,' I promised Apple Computer three times that we all would keep his daughter safe to the best of our ability, and that she'd come home after the world was freed. And assured Apples N. Oranges that we'd make sure any candy that happened to fall from the sky would be safe for her to eat.

"And Ah'm an Apple, and Apples keep Apples safe. Don't ya worry!" Applejack swore. I hadn't forgotten that it still didn't sit well with AJ that we had recruited a filly, willingly or not, and were marching off to battle against a mad god and, in all probability, our own friends. But in a bit, in for a crown, if there was anything she and RD had in common, it was that.

After a thousand years outside, Derpy Hooves was overjoyed to finally be under a roof with Dinky. She didn't mind the crowd of ponies, as long as they remembered to give Dinky a wide berth. Derpy wasn't stupid, her foal was a muffin in a house full of foals who weren't all old enough to understand the muffin shaped like a filly wasn't food. And one bump, and one stray hoof fall, would leave her baby a mess on the floor. She was more than happy to talk, however, about her own weird little adventures. The more she spoke about them, the happier I was to have her as our ally. Not only did she have valuable experience, half those adventures involved complete accidents on her part triggering a beneficial sequence of events that ruined the villain's plot. In other words, exactly the kind of luck we needed against Discord.

(That hypocrite claims to hate order, and yet relies so much on it for his plans that one left turn instead of right throws a wrench in everything. He's just as vulnerable to being blindsided by an unexpected twist as everypony else. Remember that.)

For once we agree.

With an illusion wall from AJ, Spike was guarding the front side of the house facing Ponyville and the castle. Discord and the Valeyard weren't likely to approach from the front, but 'Cruel, Angry, and Dash were and Spike had a better chance against them.

Rarity asked to be shown the empty beds of each member of the Sweet Rock Acres clan who were gone for good. Fruit-Of-The-Knowledge-Of-Good-And-Evil complied. I don't know what that was about.

(Discord shattered your bonds once. You really think he won't just break them again? Because it won't be 'original' of him? He doesn't even follow his own rules.)

Which is why we're going to be prepared for his divide-and-conquer tactics. This time, we'll ALL know what's coming.

(Even if you're right, Twilight, even if your friends now DO possess the willpower and strength of heart they hadn't had a thousand years ago... Discord will simply cheat. Twist them by force.)

I shivered. I had seen Master do that before who refused to play his games.

(The only advantages one ever possesses against that bastard all stem from his own ego. He's not all-knowing nor all-sensing. He doesn't understand how half the feelings he mocks work. He can be taken off-guard as easily as his victims. Heed my word, your best bet to finally restoring normality is to go it alone. Don't do it for me, do it FOR your friends. Why make Apple Pie suffer as you did?)

Discord's corruption works best on isolated victims, INCLUDING myself. And at this juncture, even if I were to order my companions to stay behind, they'd just follow me anyway, even if AJ had to make them all invisible to do it.

(Fine. Then hammer into your comrades what they need to know! You're all wasting time idling about with these farmers!)

It's not 'idling!' It's restrengthening our bonds! Our friendship! How much good do you think the Elements Of Harmony will do without the ties that bind?

(You are missing the point. There is a time for parties, smiles, and happiness, and it after the genocidal, self-destructive, despicable, pathetic, arrogant, obnoxious, blind-to-his-own-faults, insane, deranged, evil overlord is given his just desserts.)

My ears wilted.

(You want to be prepared? Here's my advice. I do not care if you pass it on to the others or keep it for yourself. The only way to win one of Discord's games is to know his game and not to play. Play your own game, not his. If at all possible, make him think you're playing his game, not knowing he is really playing yours until its too late for him to stop playing.)

Somepony taps on my shoulder. I turn my head, green earth pony, -what was her name again?- Minty Pie, part of our 'welcoming committee.' "Miss, erm, Unicorn, can we talk? Just you and me?"

I told both AJ and Apple Computer what we were going to be doing and we left through the back door. A quick magic scan didn't show any nasty 'surprises' waiting for me, no ambushes.

"Yes, Minty Pie?" I asked.

Looking her in the eyes, I wasn't sure how to describe the feeling it evoked. Familiarity? Nostalgia? Wistfulness? For some reason, the picture of myself riding in a hot air balloon with Pinkie Pie kept popping up. More strange was she seemed to be feeling the same way.

"Please let me be Laughter instead of Apple Pie please." She pleaded.

Startled, I took a hoof step back, "Minty, I'm sorry, but it DOESN'T work like that!"

"Why not?"

I almost dive straight into 'soapbox mode', but then a different thought strikes me.

"Alright. We'll try it your way. Make me laugh."

"Huh?"

"You say you want to be the Element of Laughter? Make me laugh. Tell a joke."

"A joke? Okay, okay," Minty Pie spends several seconds licking her lips, looking around the whole room for inspiration. "Uh, hm... oh, I know one! What did the Baby Corn say to the Mama Corn?"

"I don't know. What?"

"Where's popcorn?"

I blink once.

"Get it?! POP-corn?"

"I get it. Corny."

"And that's just a warm-up!" Could her grin be any bigger or more forced? "Let's see, let's see... Ah! Okay, try this: Yesterday, the police arrested two ponies, one for eating batteries, the other for eating fireworks. Well, they charged the pony who ate the fireworks, and let the pony who ate the batteries off!"

She looked at me hopefully.

"Huh? What? Wait a minute... Minty, I think you might've gotten the punchline backwards!"

Now she's starting to sweat. "One more try! Please, one more try! Uh, um.... what happens when... when you walk into a pizza tree?"

"I dunno. What?"

"You walk into a pizza tree!"

Silence drops like a grand piano.

"...And?"

"What do you mean, 'And?!' That was the joke!"

"Minty..."

"One more try! One more try! Uh, uh, hmm... Knock Knock!"

"Minty! ENOUGH!"

Well, what do you WANT from me?!" she snaps, stamping her hoof, on the verge of tears. "Humor comes so much more naturally to Apple Pie!"

"Precisely." I gave a sigh. "Your heart, your true heart has to embody Laughter. It's not some job you can reassign to any new employee, not a trinket to keep, sell, or give away as a gift. It awoke in Apple Pie because it's how she is."

Minty Pie looked at me like I was speaking in calculus equations. I gave a sigh.

"Alright...It's like a Cutie Mark. Only not everypony has one," I explain the best I can. "Even twins don't have the same Cutie Mark. The Elements are the same way."

"But aren't those the things what Giant Hat Discord gave you?"

"Discord used them for evil, but we were already primed for them when our hearts got replaced or we'd have died. Back when Rarity, Applejack and I were all... pawns... we were powered by incomplete versions of the Elements of Chaos. Now we see the full picture. Now our Elements are purified... We didn't have them 'given' or 'taken' from us."

Minty Pie finally seemed to understand, giving me a nod.

"... Then let me come with you."

To be on the safe side, I looked her over, with all my senses, mundane and magical. But I could not sense the Element of Generosity within Minty Pie at all. This surprised me somewhat... an act of self sacrifice like this didn't qualify her for Generosity...? "Sorry Minty Pie. But this is going to be dangerous enough as it is. Against a foe like Discord, strength is not in numbers."

But something about her aura felt almost frighteningly familiar.

"I don't want my cousin to die." Minty Pie blinked away tears. She gave me one of the most hurt looks I'd ever seen on a pony, and unfortunately, that's really saying something. "Poison Apple, Apple Bucker, Apple Cake, I've never been able to grow the shell around me everypony else does, it still hurts!"

"She's a -friend-! I'd never endanger a friend unless I needed to for the sake of everyone!... And Minty, your family isn't callous, they just keep living, like those you've lost would want you to. I know tragedy, and your family isn't burying it, they're moving through it."

"I know but ... for the last couples years, I've been having these nightmares... I live in this happy place where everypony is happy just being happy. Then monsters that looks like Blue Cheese Discord show up and make everypony vanish, making it so nopony even remembers them and I'm alone."

I said softly, "Minty Pie, nightmares aren't real." I place a hoof on her shoulder.

I, we froze.

It felt like our bodies were glued together where we touched.

When we touched, something inside both ofus vibrated like two halfs that have been separated for too long.

We both tried to speak but no sound came out. We stared out but not seeing what was before us. We felt each other. We felt a thousand years of despair shattered by one day of laughter and a decade of memories, of parents, friends, and a teacher/other-mother. We felt a lifetime of surviving each day, family coming and going like a parade, wondering when our turn would come. The farm and family enduring even if the individual members didn't.

We remembered several thousand years of happiness for happiness' sake, the world never really changing, only the pursuit of good cheer and celebrations and good company, they went by so fast, a blur each day as super-duper-happy as the last, all ponies smiling, happy, being a total klutz, really loving socks, the color green, and especially green socks, a positively pink Pony, who meant the world to us. Looking over us like a big sister during our most boneheaded mistakes. Telling Rainbow Dash she had a box from Paris in the town square on her Special Day.

Then the world ended in darkness, the pink pony never leaving our side. Our light given a new shadow to cast thanks to our pink friend. Our old shadow was dying, but not offered up to the nothingness for it was never erased, the world remade, our shadow remained but not erased, waiting where rules of only being in one place and having one perspective do not apply. Fate twisting, shadow and light, coming into the world apart, no longer needing each other to be whole, given their One Life, more far apart then they should have.

We broke apart before we completely lost our individual egos.

I fell backwards, same as Minty, Minty Pie. Our panting echoed each other's. We felt like we had been gone for a lifetime, but it had only been a few moments.

"Minty," I whispered.

"Twilight," She whispered back. It was like two sides of a coin looking at each other. Something that should be impossible but suddenly wasn't.

We got up at the same time, our movements still in sync.

"No." I said shaking my head, grasping at the parts that made me 'me.' Minty Pie looked in similar pain. "No. You have to stay. You, I... Minty has died enough."

Minty looked at me, scared but nodded, I knew I felt the exact same way as I nodded too. "Yes. Yes. You, we, no! ... . I know that you won't let Apple Pie get hurt. No matter what. Because I wouldn't."

"And I know how much she means to you, because I know how much she means to me. She's my first new friend in a thousand years. She's precious to both of us."

"Just ... just make sure doesn't try to play pattycake with any pony-eating gelatin' cubes. Or try to offer any candy to a venus pony-trap, or-"

"I get it! I get it! Apple Pie has a hard being hostile to anything I understand."

"... Thank you Twilight... . And, do you think you can save Pinkie Pie?" She asked with the same worry and hope any of us would. She knew that name because we knew it. "Please save her! If you could save Applejack... if you could wake up Rarity... if you could stop being sick-in-heart, you have no excuse not to do everything in your power to save Pinkie Pie too!"

"I'm sure as Tartarus going to try, Minty!"

We reached out to hug each other, stopped inches away least we risk our individuality again, and just stepped back and smiled and nodded at each other.

"I suppose that answers the question of why Santa Hooves gives Pinkie green socks every year," I said aloud as we walked towards the house.

"Yeah." Minty smiled. She had seen my memories too. Minty giggled, "He sure has been a naughty boy!"

I giggled back.

"Just so you know, I wasn't out to humiliate you earlier when I had you tell jokes. I just wanted to prove to you: Apple Pie really does have a special, unique gift. She's not just a spare wheel, and we didn't pull her name out of a hat."

"I get it. Dying's easy, comedy's hard."

For some reason, we both burst out laugh.

"Hey! Pretty good! There may be hope for you yet!"

We both went back inside the house, trotting side by side. A part of me wondering what it was like to have a sister.

++

I was becoming as popular as popular can be. Apple Pie was the next to want a private conversation with me. She was sitting on the couch.

Applejack was busy listening to the life story of every Apple and Pie in turn, and enjoying every second. Derpy explained finer details to Dinky. I didn't have the heart to tell her Dinky might be effectively comatose in this state. Assuming all went well, and the curse was lifted, Dinky might be unable to remember anything that happened after she was turned into a muffin. Then again, I could be completely wrong.

"Half-Light...yah live in Discord's castle, right?" Apple Pie asked me.

"I did."

"... Do ya know what happened to Poison Apple?"

I'd hoped she wouldn't ask that. I looked around, no one else was listening in. AJ had just gone outside. I whispered lowly to Apple Pie. "...If you want the kind answer, ask Applejack, if you want the true answer, ask Rarity..." I didn't want to answer...How could I?

"Ah want yer answer."

I sighed, pinning my ears. "...Apple Pie...I'm sorry...I'm so sorry..."

She looked saddened and it hurt me, "Ah kind of guessed...just hoped yah might have saved her like yah did Miss Derpy."

I couldn't take it anymore. "I...I... Apple Pie, you know how I said Discord used to 'play' with me?"

She nodded.

"...Sparkle wanted to save her...but Tragedy wanted to recapture her...I'm sorry...I'll understand if-"

She put a hoof on mine. "It's okay...Ah, Ah, know the you Ah know would've saved her, but yah weren't here then. Ah forgive yah."

We hugged.

I was beginning to think this filly would forgive Discord on the spot if he apologized for everything he had done. But I had seen Discord's true face. But wasn't that part of the ideal of being a pony? Able to forgive any sin that has been offered in remorse? Maybe I really had been alive for nine hundred years too long.

(Or she hasn't lived nine hundred years long enough, experience is a virtue.)

So is purity...

(IS it purity? Are you so very sure? Perhaps it could be something else entirely?)

What do you mean?

(Think about it. A girl who's learned to laugh off the deaths of beloved family members? So blithely, so easily, as though they were nothing more than a series of losing lottery tickets she kept buying? Poor little thing... she's suffered SO much tragedy, so regularly, at such a young age, that's she's psychologically numbed herself to it all. Remind you of anyone... Twilight?)

She... she's NOTHING like me! Nothing like how I was!

(Because you walled yourself in a fortress of apathy while she prefers a fortress of levity? Numbness is numbness, as sure as ice cream is ice cream. The one difference is... flavor.)

Just... Just because she smiles through her tears doesn't mean her tears are meaningless. Just because she tries to find the light in things doesn't mean she's blind to the darkness.

(So you say about a filly who hands out forgiveness like a vending machine. Her forgiveness is like a deaf pony forgiving noisy neighbors. Rarity should warn her about the dangers of living in a fantasy world. Such a sweet, dear, goodhearted girl, wonder what she'll be like after you turn her into a killer, or do you think Discord and his true minions will submit quietly?)

My mind is bursting with indignation and confusion and dread. That's what forgiveness is, it isn't a check book or a tax form that needs to be balanced with restitutions.

(I'm just asking, as a friend, do give it all some thought, will you? The LAST Element Of Laughter wasn't playing with a full deck either. And she was an adult.)

I hugged Apple Pie for dear life.

"Half-Light?"

"I'm-I'm just happy to have you as a friend Apple Pie!"

She gently hugged me back.

+++++

(You need to learn to pay attention to your elders, Apple Pie.)

Ah do.

(You need to listen to them more.)

Ah listen when Ah need to. Pa saya listen to 'em unless it would hurt somepony. There are lots of ponies who don't listen at all though, why don't ya talk to them?

(I would if I could.)

+++++

"And here's Bloomberg The Twelfth, Equestria's famous rock tree!" Cream Pie introduced Applejack as Banana Pie continued, "They say Bloomberg The First Got turned into a sea-apple tree when Blue Carrot Discord created Sky Ocean, but he had some saplings back here in Sweet Rock Acres. Some have been sausage trees, sword trees, trees-trees, pear trees," AJ grimaced, "And ice-cream trees, but the Bloombergs have been as much a part of Sweet Rock Acres as us ponies."

AJ blinked away tears and put a loving hoof on the tree, "Yer not gonna turn into a wooden pony and want to marry me if I say it's great to see ya are ya?"

The tree did not see fit to give an answer, which AJ politely accepted. There were enough talking trees in the world handing out magic swords to brave selfless youths.

"Great to see some things don't change."

++++++

After Rarity finished her morbid 'tour' with Fruit-Of-The-Knowledge, she seemed a lot calmer, more peaceful, her eyes more focused.

"Alright, Apple Pie makes five," said Rarigreed, looking to us. "But we still need Generosity, and we're fresh out of ponies we have preexisting bonds with. Unless another Pie or Apple family member happens to have it."

No one ever said it had to be a pony. I had my theories already.

(Heh. This is always good.)

The question is, how to go about it. What could I ask that would make the connection?

(Well get on with it, the others have had time to recover from another Element being handed to them and Rarity would agree you've waited long enough.)

Unfortunately, I found two sets of eyes on me as soon as I started to move.

"Half-Light, where are ya goin'?"

"Just testing a theory, be right back."

"Sorry Twilight, not happening," Rarity said.

"Ditto."

I sighed. "Alright, come along, but please, please let me do the talking, it might just be nothing anyway. I don't want to add more disharmony to things if it isn't true."

"Oh, you don't honestly think I did that just because you told me not to. It just...felt right. Like I was supposed to do it." She put a hoof to her collar bone.

Apple Pie made a small laugh.

"...I believe you," I said.

I went outside, so did Rarity and Apple Pie, Derpy chose to stay inside to enjoy the sensation of being in doors again taking the chance to chat with Fruit-Of-Knowledge. I didn't think an airborne creature could get unhappy with being outside, but this was the world of chaos.

Speaking of which the sun and moon were flip-flopping again. And Sky Ocean was visible in the distance.

I wonder if the Beatnik Reverse Hyper-Ball tournaments would still be able to be held in a world that had concrete physical laws again, that would disappoint a lot of fans, but it was for the greater good. Still, it was a cool game.

(Nothing 'cool' comes out of this world. If it seems good, it is only the end result of thousands of atrocities.)

With two companions in tow I moved around to the front of the house, time to see if Bloomberg is the Element we seek.

Okay. Come on. You know I was joking that time!

"Hey Twilight, hey Rarity, hey Apple Pie, you know where Element Number Six is yet? This place is great but I don't want us to attract trouble."

As I stood there, something hit me all of a sudden. Something I could feel... rather, something I didn't.

"Hey Spike," I said. "How are you feeling?"

Spike blinked. "I'm feeling pretty good, why do you ask?"

I asked because I could hear his stomach rumble, he was still hungry. Yet the adult dragon clearly had no intention of demanding more food.

"Well, you know how Discord took that spell off you earlier, right? I was just worried that fighting your instincts might be stressing you out. I wanted to help."

"Huh?"

"I hadn't felt that, um, 'greed restraint' spell reactivate, so I figured you must be fighting them. I'm proud of you, Spike."

I saw Spike's eyes widen.

My...my instincts? In all this, I'd completely forgotten them...But she's right, they're still there, I can feel it. I can feel the thing Discord let loose in my head, the part of me he'd been holding back...but they're not the only thing driving me...In fact, I barely feel them...it's like something inside me's numbing them. No...not numbing them, it's like that feeling of how something that weighed a lot when I was little I can pick up with two fingers now...

"I...They're...they're not bothering me..." I muttered, I couldn't think of anything more I could say. How did this happen? They'd been like a flood before, like I was lost in the rapids and couldn't fight them... I didn't want to fight them, I was them. I felt completely free with them. Now it was like I was standing waist-high in a calm stream. But I still feel free...

Twilight cocked her head. "Not at all? But Discord didn't restore the spell. I would have felt it."

"I...I feel them... my instincts... but...I don't know, it's just... I've just been acting like... " I replied, still trying to figure it out. I wanted to say 'the normal me' but normal dragons don't have a mind control spell on them masking a natural part of their psychology.

"No stealing. No hoarding. No endangering smaller creatures' lives. All things considered, you've been the perfect picture of civility this whole time. Quite considerate of you."

She was right... Yes, I wanted to eat every rock in sight, yes, I wanted to begin amassing an all-new horde like a proper dragon, and yes I wanted to...well...Rarity and I...you get the picture.

But I hadn't acted on any of that...I'd put my friends first.

"You're right...Twilight...how did I go from a rampaging greedy brute to being...well...?"

"Well what?" Twilight asked, I see an expectant look. But what was she expecting?

What had I done since we left? Let's see...I'd helped save Ditzy and Dinky, when none of my instincts had told me to. She hadn't even been a friend, she'd been just another quirky pony in Ponyville... But I saw her hurting...I knew she'd be so much happier with her wings and legs fixed and those blackbirds destroyed. And I knew my friends would be happy too if that happened, and my friends were mine... But why did that last part feel like an excuse?

I flew everypony here when I wanted to go somewhere else where we could get MORE help...because Applejack wanted to go here, because I saw it'd make her happy, even if at the time I didn't know why until she explained it...And I knew it'd make Twilight happy too...

I helped give Rarity a bath because I knew she'd be happier nice and clean (okay maybe she wasn't jumping for joy after). I didn't care one way or the other if my 'prize jewel' was clean or dirty myself, it was for her.

On the other hand, I had told them where to stuff it when they suggested they shrink me down or give ME a bath in front of everypony. Come on, a dragon's got his dignity right? Gotta draw the line SOMEWHERE!

I was hungry, the Apple-Pie Family offered as much as I wanted to eat. I ate some to be polite, but not enough to fill my entire belly. I didn't want to eat up all their food. They need it more than me... I'll find more elsewhere.

Then it hit me...I did all those things to make somepony else happy. We dragons AREN'T heartless creatures... we DID love... but our base instinct was to satisfy ourselves first. To take what we want. I hadn't done one greedy thing since we'd left the palace...And I hadn't even thought about it. I wasn't fighting with my instincts at all, I'd forgotten they were even there until Twilight mentioned them...

"Selfless..." I said, looking to Twilight, making her smile. I saw Rarity's eyes go the size of dinner plates...

"And?"

Discord kept my instincts restrained for all this time, he held me back... So that was your game...And I think I know why you decided to play it with me, Discord.

You learn a lot about someone when you watch them for a thousand years with a clear and lucid mind. I remember the statues in the Hall of Shame. All of the same one pony. They look at whoever walks through the hall with the disappointed eyes of a big sister regarding her wayward brother. But you didn't make those statues for us, did you, Discord? They're there for you.

None of the statues have placards, so I don't know who she is or what she was to you. But she must've been important, wasn't she? Why else are those statues the one thing your dirt-maids dare not vandalize? Why else do you not let a single mote of dust fall on them? Why else would you make a huge mountain in her image without one insult to be found in it? Dodge every question asked about her? She wanted you to be someone better, and she'd be disappointed if she saw you now, right? That's why she looks so disappointed in you. Is that why you play the hero for the sea ponies? So you could be the guy she wanted you to be, in just one single respect?

But you're afraid. You don't want to change, do you? Push came to shove, and you chose the easy way out. You turned into the monster you already were, instead of striving to be the good person she wanted you to be.

And you played this game with me because you thought I'd be no better, right? You thought when you let my instincts loose, I couldn't fight the 'actual-me inside the me-others-see', and would turn into a monster, just as you did. Because that's what bullies do; project what they're afraid to face about themselves onto others.

But you're not holding me back now, are you?...This is all me...This is who I am. I'm not running from my true self. I'm not hiding or denying or suppressing it. The instincts are just one small cog in a larger system of gears...

Twilight can't protect me from my instincts. No more than your mystery mare could protect you from yourself. Twilight can help me, but ultimately, she can't stop me. Only I can do that. It's not even a question of denying the instincts exist... doing that would only make things worse, but I haven't fought them at all all this time, have I?

After all, my dragon instincts... they're not my true self. My true self is the Spike who served Twilight as her faithful assistant. My true self is the Spike who dug gems for Rarity, not caring whether or not she'd actually pay me, that was the bonus, the thing I loved about it was making her happy! My true self owns my friends, and my true self GIVES everything I have to them!

I am Kenbroath Gillspotten Hearthspike 'Spike' VII. And my instincts are a part of me. I want it all. No one dares treat me as small. A dragon's horde is like his own shadow. But that's not all of me. I can be kind, I can be selfless. I can give myself completely to the ones I care about because it makes them happy. I can overcome the greed inside my heart. Because I can also be...

"Generous..." I said, feeling something warm inside of me. I look down at my hip, seeing a violet glow appear over it. I am free.

+++

"Six down, none to go," I said as I watched the brightly glowing scroll symbol appear over Spike's hip(like a cutie mark).

(Took you long enough.)

Spike struck a majestic pose showing off the mark before lowering himself face to face with us.

Apple Pie had nothing to say for once, but curiously moved her mane and put her hoof on the symbol had that glowed brighter than ever, as did mine and Rarity's. I'm sure wherever they were Applejack and Derpy's were too. I felt a strange sense of wholeness, like a circuit had been completed.

I look to Rarity, who's jaw was on the ground. I put her jaw back. "A generous dragon, how's that for epic material?" I asked. Her eyes misted over as she smiled.

I walked up to Spike and hugged his snout, joy flowing through me. Rarity collected her wits and did the same rubbing against him. "My Spike," she whispered.

Spike hugged her with his pinky claw, "My Rarity."

"Howdy ya 'all what's all the hug fest fer, whoa nilly!" AJ gasped, "Well how do ya like that?" She joined in. "Ah'd say 'welcome,' but you've always been a part of this herd Spike."

I said, "Spike...I'm so proud of you...I knew you could do it."

Spike said, "This is the me, I chose to be."

Episode 83: (Dark World) Smile

Pony POV Series
Dark World Part 14
Six Points Of Light *Smile*

Being the only ones close to Spike, he had a smaller congratulations committee for him defying every piece of lore and assumption we had about the Elements of Harmony as an adult dragon awakening as Generosity.

Spike said, "I'm just happy it didn't shrink me back down to pipsqueak size."

"I thought you were rather cute," Rarity said.

Spike's self-stature deflated.

"Not that I don't love the big, strong, handsome, magnificent dragon before me!" Rarity said quickly rubbing against him.

Spike snapped back to sitting up straight.

"And you'll always be my family to me, no matter how big you are," I added, giving him a smile and getting one in return.

"That one went without saying Twilight. Hey, Apple Pie." Spike said, looking at the little pony.

"Yes?"

" ... " This wasn't easy for a dragon to say, "Thank you. If you hadn't laughed, if you hadn't been there. None of this would be happening. Twilight would still be alone in the dark and I'd be squatting in my lair, waiting for Discord to use me as a mount again."

(She makes a wonderful catalyst doesn't she?)

"Ah just did what came naturally, yer welcome, Ah'm happy Half-Light can be happy now.

"And yah know somethin'?" the filly said, looking at the dragon several hundred times her size. "Ah've seen a lot of dragons, includin' mah ma and grandma, but Ah don't think Ah've ever seen a dragon superhero before. Ah've seen a dragon wizard before, but never a dragon superhero. Ah think you're awesome!"

Spike actually blushed a little. "Thanks..."

The six of us were gathered to begin our plans for saving the world in Apple Pie's bedroom.

"So how 'bout we get ta Discord's old homestead and show'em we rock and make'em rock? Ya know, if he doesn't just surrender." Everypony looked at her, "What? Less fightin' means less chance for you all to get hurt."

For now having the tools to save the world, there was a strange calm about us rather than the overwhelming excitement or joy I thought we'd have. Maybe we just knew that it was a little early for a group hug.

With Derpy missing, Discord was bound to know something was up by now or when he called us and we didn't come.

And while I wanted us to charge straight to Discord's castle and finish this, I wasn't about to repeat the hedge maze.

(Very wise of you.)

Yes, I figured out where I went wrong, I'd played by his rules. I don't know where the Elements had really been at the time, but I know they sure as hay weren't in the maze. In fact, they would probably HAVE been in the maze if I had gone somewhere else, or he'd have used exact words and said 'you didn't go in the maze first! So no Elements, sorry ponies!' There was no right answer because I was playing his game.

Apple Pie sat on her bed, while four of us circled on the floor, Derpy's wings folded into a tent around Dinky. Spike had politely slid up the stone slab that made up one of the bedroom walls and gently put it aside and promised to slide it back into place when we were done. This was more polite than poking a hole a through the stone wall with a finger like Spike had wanted to do, "It would give Apple Pie and her sisters a new window."

Applejack managed to conjure yet another illusion on him to hide him from the outside.

What happened in the hedge maze? I had a thousand years to learn, and I had barely even tried. Applejack however, and Rarity, were able to fill in the blanks a little. You think I was shocked? Surprised? Horrified? Ashamed? I had seen Discord as my Master break several hundred thousand ponies' minds turning their own virtues against them. We were nothing special. We were just his first victims.

Derpy frowned at us talking about how Discord broke us in front of Dinky, but Derpy needed to hear this too, and where Derpy was, so was Dinky (if she was aware, who was I kidding, Discord would never give a pony that mercy). Apple Pie didn't so much as flinch, I wonder how many of her family she'd seen driven insane. She shivered mentioning the boulder. Spike gently patted Rarity.

"Apple Pie, Spike, Derpy. I, AJ, Rarity, and our three other friends were heroes, and they were kind, loyal, and happy. But Discord turned our hearts inside out anyway. We were heroes and we fell hard. There is nothing to stop him from doing the exact same thing to you."

Spike lowered his head. Apple Pie, Apple Pie flinched.

"I'm not afraid to make a choice," Derpy whispered.

(Conceited mare.)

"Don't ever assume Discord won't use something against you, or just cheat. I'll bet just because your Elements are a part of us this time doesn't mean you can't lose your connection to it. Three of us already carry the taint of chaos, Discord can't discord what's already discorded. But you Spike, Derpy, and Apple Pie... " I wasn't sure how to say this.

(Will you not tender hoof around it-?!)

... Are you Discord? A suppressed part of him?

(NO!)

"Are you okay darlin'?" Jack asked. How was the room spinning in two directions at once like that?

"Hey I can do that with my eyes too!" Derpy said.

"Really can Ah see?" Apple Pie asked.

"I'm rust kind Crapplewack, just wait a well my brain stops ringing."

"Do you have the same problem as me Twilight? The linguisticians always said when having trouble to 'think, then speak.' " Derpy offered helpfully.

I shook my head. "Apple Pie listen carefully, Discord you know can appear as anything, and is a master manipulator. In a way it's a gift that you're willing to trust in this world, but keep your head. You trust what I'm saying because we're friends. You trust what the others say because I and AJ vouched for them. But you have to be careful. Derpy, Apple Pie, Spike, Discord uses what you love and are proud of the most against you. He'll tell the truth, he'll lie, he'll tell half-truths, anything to make you reject yourself, and your Element with it. I'm sure one or two of you already know this, but it needs to be said."

In a way, I was hoping Derpy may have already been Discorded before, considering how she acted now, because then that meant she had his taint like the three of us. Which was an advantage. And yes, I know how horrible it is when I say THAT is an advantage.

"Don't trust a word he says. I don't mean do the opposite of everything he says, he'll use that too. Even when he isn't lying, it's just so you'll do what he wants. Anything he tells you is only 'PART' of the picture! Discord only speaks to someone if he think it'll entertain him or get him something.

"Go by what you think is right, and if possible, be as spontaneous as you can be, because Discord, despite being the Spirit of Chaos, RELIES on knowing what you're going to do before you do it to manipulate you. So don't play by his rules. We made that mistake and it cost us everything. Even if you turn left where he thinks you're going to, do it in a way that makes him think you were going to turn right, maybe even think you actually DID. And if he tells you to go right, don't go left."

"Go sideways!"

"Exactly! That's right, Derpy."

"Yay! And my flight instructor said that was wrong."

Groans and sighs in total of four sounded.

"And remember this above everything, he'll either tell you what you want to hear," I looked at Rarity, "Or what you're afraid to hear." I look at Applejack. "Either will make you do what he wants. He'll tell you you're the most deserving pony in the world, that you're better than everyone, or that you've already lost, and that there was no way to win from the start. Or flipflop between them. Either of these give him what he wants. He'll make you think what's real is an illusion, or what's an illusion is reality. There's no way to know which. So keep your wits about you, more than anything, don't get caught up in what he says are the rules."

I was surprised not to see frustrated squigglies above Derpy and Apple Pie's head. What was I expecting? They had lived in this world of chaos too.

"Twilight," said Spike, looking knowing. "I know this is going to sound confusing, but I think a rule of thumb, is if Discord tries to tell you something negative about yourself is true, then accept that it's true and use it to make the trait he's trying to turn you against stand out that much more."

I gave a blink. "Explain a little, Spike." I could tell he was onto something.

"Like how I only figured out I was Generosity by seeing how my instincts made that part MORE important, not less. And like you three figured out the good sides of your Elements of Chaos."

"So what yer sayin' is we should twist his words so they work for us instead of against us," Applejack replied, knowing what twisting words could do.

Spike gave a nod.

"That does make sense," I reply, seeing his point. "That will probably make Discord mad, and, while that sounds scary, and is, an angry Discord is also a Discord who isn't thinking clearly, which might give us an advantage."

"There's also an advantage of actin' like yer buyin' his horseapples when yah really aren't," Applejack points out. "If he thinks yer seein' things his way, that gives yah an openin'."

"And, if I may ask, what is the plan?" Rarigreed asked. "We'll need one."

"Well...we've already completed four bullet points; free Spike, make it to Sweet Rock Acres, and assemble the six Elements of Harmony, and have the ability to use Elements together...to be honest, I thought that last one would be ten times harder than it actually was, but I'm not complaining," I replied.

"Bullet points?" asked Rarity, blinking.

"It's not so much a plan but a list of objectives..." I responded, a little nervously. "And not in any specific order or necessary except 'defeat Discord' being on it. I know that sounds crazy, but we're going up the personification of Chaos, who's living in a palace that shifts and changes as you travel through it, assisted by the Valeyard, who is a master planner, and at this point we are the revolution. The only way to win is to have a list of goals and make up the rest as we go along and complete our objectives as we come across them, that way no one can guess what we're going to do. Any well made plan is going to fall apart in seconds, or be figured out by our opponent."

Thankfully, that was logical enough to be accepted by the group. Derpy just politely smiled and nodded. Spike looked surprised, mumbling, "Really are New Twilight," or something under his breath. Apple Pie's head nearly made egg-beater noises. This was more complicated than 'go in there and beat up the bad guys' like on Pony Rangers, though that might be what our palace revolution was going to end up being.

Now came the hard part.

"Derpy... give Dinky to Apple Pie."

"No!"

"Derpy... the Elements aren't going to work unless we're true to them when we call upon them, but also they won't function together as one unless we all have a bond with each other. Unless you're willing to trust Apple Pie with what's most precious to you... Derpy I know you've both just met, I know this is hard, it was hard for me to trust Applejack the same day I met her to fall off a cliff so both Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash could focus on catching just me instead of both of us. It was hard to trust them all to have my back in Everfree.

"But Derpy, we have to save the world. There is no back-up chosen ones hidden away somewhere, it's just us. The bond is part of what makes a set of Elements. And losing that trust would destroy us before Discord could."

"It would be like if Pinkie Pie trusted us with looking after a cake made by her family then four of us took a bite when she wasn't looking," Rarity said.

I grimaced at where Rarity had invented such a ghastly and completely absurd scenario. I remembered how fragile Pinkie Pie was underneath all those smiles. Doing something like that to her would have killed her inside even if she wouldn't act the part.

"Derpy, trust Apple Pie with Dinky. I know this is hard, but if you want to defeat Discord and free both your children from his curses, then we'll need to trust each other, and that means you have to have trust in her. She's a true friend. She won't let anything bad happen to her."

"Ah Pinkamenia Promise yah, Miss Derpy," Apple Pie added, her normal smile in its proper place. "Cross mah heart, hope ta fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!"

Derpy's lip quivered, both her eyes focused on me, then Dinky, Pie, then Dinky again.

Derpy slowly, carefully, like Dinky was made of sand, handed the filly shaped muffin to the waiting hooves of Apple Pie.

Apple Pie opened her mouth to grab it like ANY Earth Pony, I magically held Derpy back for a split second as Apple Pie held her, not one tooth mark or drop of salvia got on Dinky. She threw her in the air and caught her on her back. Derpy broke through my hold and struck Apple Pie so hard her mouth bled. "DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH MY BABY AGAIN YOU WRETCHED HELLION!" Derpy snarled, her voice full of hate at the sniffing Earth Pony.

Apple Pie gently picked up the cursed filly with her hooves and looked into her eyes, "Howdy Dinky, Ah'm Apple Pie. Nice ta meetcha. So ya've been around for a thousand years like yer ma? What was things like back when? It's okay, ya can tell me when ya can move again. It's gonna be super soon, ya ma, and me, and Half-Light, and all of us are super-heroes. Ya know, like Captain-Equestria or Spider-Stallion? Yer mom's really nice, so Ah bet yer really nice too! But ya get to show fer yerself really soon!" Apple Pie nuzzled her. "Yer cute, really cute, even when you're a pony-muffin. I bet you'll be even cuter when yer a pony-pony. So yer a union-corn like Miss Rarigreed? That's cool."

"... Close your eyes Derpy."

She looked at me.

The look AJ gave me was not friendly. Rarity just lowered her head. I couldn't see what Spike's expression was.

"You're always going to be worried about her. She's your child. Worrying about her is why you're the Element of Loyalty, it shows you care about her. But you need to trust Apple Pie, and us. Nothing bad will happen if we can help it, Cross My heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my, my eye." Not this time, sorry, ha!

Derpy closed her eyes.

Apple Pie proceeded to make a series of funny faces at Dinky, set her down gently, then did a dance that proved that it was not her special talent, nor was singing. I was reminded of Scootaloo's singing when she was a blank-flank, and Apple Bloom's horrid attempts at physical performance. She fell backwards instead of forwards (I was ready to catch her and teleport Dinky out of the way just in case). Landing on her butt, the noise making Derpy cringe but I put a hoof on her shoulder.

"So two fillies cross the road to get to the other side, but they meet in the middle, and they ask where the other one is going. 'They can't be right, that way is the other side,' they say to each other! Eventually they ask their mother on each side which side is the other side, and they say the opposite end of the road is the other side, so eventually they figured out they must BOTH be on the other side already. They couldn't figure out why they hadn't met before if they lived on the same side of the road for so long since both were the other side. Both if both were the other side, why did they have to get to the other side they wondered? They figured therefore they crossing the road must be the long way around to the same place since both were the other side and they walked all the way around the world just to get to each other's houses, so they wondered why the long way was the short way and the short way was the long way. So they asked their mothers again and-"

Dinky couldn't speak back, but Apple Pie wasn't phased. She continued her one pony show for Dinky, the rest of us just looking on. We gasped when Apple Pie tossed her in the air once and caught her. Derpy cringed, but I kept a firm hoof on her to keep her from turning around.

Finally Derpy muscles relaxed, her wings stopped being stiff.

"Alright Apple Pie. That's enough."

"But Ah don't wanna stop. We're havin' fun."

" ... okay then. Derpy, turn around and open your eyes now."

She did. The relief from her heart when she saw her baby was unharmed vibrated off the walls. Even more so when she saw Apple Pie give Dinky a very gentle hug.

"My baby." Derpy smiled.

"Am Ah a good baby sitter Miss Hooves?"

Apple Pie hoofed Dinky back to Derpy with the same care she'd give a baby sister, who returned her to her back. "Yes, west blue car! YES YOU ARE!" Derpy was shaking a little. She had let Dinky out of her sight. And she was alright, she was all right.

Derpy nuzzled Dinky and then Apple Pie. "Thank you."

"Yer welcome."

It melted my heart. Apple Pie could form bonds so easily. It seemed with anypony. Trust came so easily to her... What if Discord had chosen to take her on a protege? Or...his princess? He always said he'd wanted to make Pinkie Pie his queen if she hadn't been Laughter... Minty was right, that was Apple Pie's strength and weakness. But that was why there was more than one Element of Harmony. We covered each other's weaknesses!

Speaking of which, I felt the urge to kick myself for even thinking Apple Pie would treat Dinky as an object instead of a filly. Her grandfather was a living statue for Cadence's sake. How could I think she'd be so dumb as to make that mistake? I felt the urge to have Spike take a letter and save it for Celestia once we set her free...maybe I will.

"Twilight." Derpy looked into my eyes, snapping me from my thoughts.

"Yes?"

"If the Elements really can fix everything, they can really fix everything Discord's broken, then ... they can fix Dinky right? You, we should test them out right? Make sure they work before hoof? Right? We can do that right please? Twilight we can, can't we? For me? For her?" Derpy pleaded, her eyes huge, tears welling up.

AJ looked at me pleadingly too.

"Can ya help her? Right now? Ya can do that fer anypony?" Apple Pie asked. What can of worms were we going to open?

Rarity, Rarigreed looked at me sternly. Mouthing the words 'When you give a parasprite a cookie.'

Spike, I looked to see him sadly looking down, unsure of what to do. Truth be told. I wasn't sure either.

(Welcome to reality, standing on your own four-hooves, sooner or later, it's something you can't hide from forever.)

I"m trying.

(You don't have time to be conflicted. As Socrates said, I am the gadfly to sting you into action when needed. You're the leader, lead.)

Admittedly, seeing if the Elements worked was one of my bullet points, but an optional one, because of all the uncertainty and risks surrounding it.

"...Apple Pie, if we do this, I don't know if we'll have the time to help any of your family too." I said to her.

"It's alright, Grandpa Rocky doesn't mind, part of being a rock Ah think, and ma and grandma Ah think ... wouldn't ... wouldn't want to change back anyway... . She asks if anypony else has been turned into a dragon yet in her letters. Could they, could they bring back Poison Apple? Magica?" I saw temptation flicker in her eyes.

"I honestly don't know. Nopony ever tried to do that before. Or if it would even work right..." I gave a shudder. I knew some reanimating spells, none of them I hoped I'd have to use again.

"Besides, if there in Pony Heaven, you wouldn't want break'em up right?" AJ said putting a hoof on her shoulder.

"Ah gotcha."

Applejack shivered, got up, and began to walk out of the room.

"Applejack?" Rarity asked first.

"If we're gonna use the Elements, now or later, there's a tiny somethin' Ah gotta do first. And, it's something Ah gotta do in private. Ah promise Ah won't be long."

"Applejack we don't have time for secrets," I said.

"Ah'm gonna pray. And it ain't proper to pray 'bout something when it's personal. Or, that's ... Ah'll be just a bit."

We all sighed. "Alright Applejack, alright."

++++

"Thank ya kindly." Ah nodded and left the stone room behind. Ah found a room that was private, it was full of empty beds, everything neat and tidy, everything evenly clean, empty, there was a flower by most of them, the ponies who used this room weren't going to mind.

'How can a pony who killed a newborn foal be worthy of the Element of Kindness?'

Ah heard the voice in Mah head, it was mine. Harsh, angry, but distant. It was me. Which is why this had ta be done.

Ah sure wish Ah did a lot more of this before, might have made things easier to figure what Ah was supposed to do. Ah always just believed in what Ah made with my own four hooves, my own hard work, Ah didn't spend a lot of time prayin' to the Princesses. They raised the sun and the moon, and that was their business.

Now Ah feel kinda ashamed seein' the sun and moon goin' crazy so long no one but us and the mythology books know it different.

Nah, it ain't 'bout the sun or the moon. Celestia, Luna ... Cadence, or however many other of them Princesses or Princes there are! Ah've been alive for a thousand years, and it feel so heavy, bein' immortal isn't what everypony who goes lookin' for it thinks it is, believe me. And Celestia put up with this for twice this long and just kept a smile on her face.

Ah bucked apples. She bucked the sun. Ah've lived a thousand years. She's endured forever. Ah seen mah family die one by one. How many bloodlines and peoples had she seen who she loved turn ta dust? Ah didn't have the right to clean her horseshoes.

Ah lied a bit there. Ah did pray, once upon a time, but it was all routine stuff, thanks for what's on the table before eatin' it, repeatin' yer prayers before goin' to bed as a filly. But, it never was personal.

Ah kindly asked Pa of Alicorns ta let the one the prayer was for hear it and sat cross eagle style and brought mah front hooves together.

"Hey, Tom Bell, Ah just want ya to know, Ah'm sorry... ya were just a colt in the body of a stallion. What happened to ya shouldn't have happened to ya. And Ah'm sorry Ah did what Ah did, if Ah could change things Ah would. Ya were a good colt, who only wanted his ma to be happy. Maybe if Ah had been smarter, more clever, not so silly, maybe Ah would have found a better way.

"Ah'm supposed to be one of the good guys again. But not a day and Ah was killin' a foal who ain't not had time to even see the sky... You, you never saw the sky, or a flower, or tasted anything, or heard music, or ... so much ... it wasn't fair. It was cruel. It was awful. And Ah'm sorry, Ah'm just so so so sorry! Maybe Ah should be apologizin' to Rarity too but, but-" Ah cried. "Ah promise Ah'll make up for it. Ah promise Ah'll pay for what Ah did. Ah should have found a better way, and Ah didn't. You were cheated kiddo. And I'm sorry..."

Ah stood up, turned around and left the room, only to bump right into Rarity, just Rarity, the tiny diamond sparklin' in her neck. "I'm sure he forgives you Applejack."

"Rarity! How-ya promis-"

"Twilight agreed not to intrude, I made no such promise, nor did I imply to. And I did not set hoof in the room while you spoke. You are the one who didn't think to close, or lock, the door."

"Ah said Ah had to do it to be private!" Ah said mah check burnin' red.

"No, you wanted it to be private. But it wasn't. The Element of Honesty knows you Appejack. It and you were one for a year. Twilight said that any garbage we're holding onto has to come out now. You don't want the others to see you pray? Fine. But you're lying when you say that's all there is to it. There's something else you want, something else you want to ask, it's burning a hole in your heart you want to ask so bad but you're scared to. A truth that you're afraid to let out."

"... How did you even follow me without the others guessing what you were doing?"

"I said I needed to use the little fillies room and I did. I never said or implied I wouldn't make detours along the way."

"And they fell for that?"

"I think they choose to. But this isn't about them. It's about you, or you think it is. But who is it really about Applejack? Tell me. Now that you've had a chance to think and feel clearly for the first time since our palace revolution began, what is it you want?"

Ah looked this way and that, no one nearby or hidin'. Ah reached down and pulled out what Ah had been scared to say.

"Rarity, d-do ya forgive me? Ya can lie to me if you want."

"No Applejack, I'm done running from ugly truths. And I honestly have not given it one thought, one way or the other. We had to escape, we had to save Derpy, we had to get your family to accept us, I had to get to know some members of your family, then Spike turned out to be the sixth of us. And Twilight talks about the bonds between us having to be genuine. I haven't had time to think about it since I gave Tom Bell his final farewell."

"And what do ya think of now? It would be more cruel if Ah tortured mahself not knowin', or too cruel to ya if I tried to trap mahself in a lie by pretending Ah knew after we worked so hard to free ya from yours."

"I thought you just said you wanted to hear a pretty lie."

"No friendship outta be built on one."

She kept an even face, "The truth is you were fighting for me and our friends, Tom was fighting for everything he knew. He was a colt, he was born knowing nothing, I gave him everything he had. But he made his own choices, the only ones he could make with what he knew. I could have told him to stop, and he'd still be alive, but I wanted him to be my knight and slay the dragon, that was his role in my fantasy. I desire to blame you and only you Applejack, for his death. To hate you so badly. But the truth is, if I had accepted reality a little bit sooner, he'd be alive, but if I had accepted reality much more quickly, I'd have never had the joy of seeing him alive. A life's fate is the responsibility of the one who brought it into the world, that is truth, it is not one meant to ever be shrugged off or to justify discarding.

"So let them balance each other. I was too scared of the truth to save him, and you were in a fight with a hero who would never surrender, and I'm sorry Applejack, but quick thinking and quick planning simply isn't your strong point. I desire to hate you Applejack, but I desire freedom from Discord more. I desire to never throw away anything that matters to me. And I can see the truth that hating you would gain me absolutely nothing."

"Alright. Ah gotcha." We nuzzled. "Ah can live with that. Friends?"

"Best friends...one more thing...I think we both have another prayer to say."

"Yeah...we do..."

We both sat down again.

"Applebloom...thank yah...Thank yah for never givin' up on mah heart and makin' good on wantin' to fix it. Yah saved meh...Ah don't know much more Ah can say..."

"Sweetie Belle...After I threw you away, you still helped me...you didn't give up on me. You stuck by me until the end...And passed it...For that...I thank you from the bottom of my heart..."

Yeah, we both knew meh meetin' with Applebloom may have just been a hallucination and Sweetie Belle may have just been Rarity's mind makin' a golem of her to help pull her out of the dark, or some kind fail safe the real Sweetie made before she went to Celestia's and Luna's Pa. But Ah decided Ah wanted to believe Applebloom hadn't given up on meh, and Rarity said all three options had support and she chose the one that made the most sense ta her.

We headed back.

Applejack and Rarity were doing their own business. No, I'm not suspicious. That's their own business. We all have our own demons to face...speaking of which.

I pulled Apple Pie aside so we could talk a little more privately. In a room with one other mare and a wall missing with a dragon peaking in. Okay, forget private. "Apple Pie...can I ask you something?"

She gave her normal smile. "Yep! What is it, Half-Light?"

"Pinkamena Promise you'll tell me the absolute truth, okay?"

"Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye."

I sighed, how did I say this? "...Apple Pie...how does it feel when one of your loved ones die?"

Apple Pie's ears drooped slightly. "What?"

"Apple Pie...please...I'm sorry, but you know I wouldn't ask this if there wasn't a good reason..."

I had to be sure. I had to know what her strengths and weaknesses were, so I could protect her. And I had to get any insecurities I had about her out of my head for the Elements to work.

Apple Pie nodded. "Well...it...it feels like someone stabbed me in the heart...it hurts...Ah feel somethin' missin' inside of me...then Ah try ta remember the good times we had, what they meant ta me...how much fun we had...those kind of things. It reminds me that even though they're gone, Ah've still got all their memories with me, and they'll never go away...And Guru Fido says when somepony dies, they go to Pony Heaven, and Applejack says that too...so Ah know they're in a good place now..."

Ah watched her eyes the entire time. There was a sadness in them that couldn't be faked. But also a joy that couldn't be either when she spoke of the good times.

I gave her a hug. "I'm sorry...I..."

"Nah, it's okay...Ah understand."

"Thanks...Can I ask one more question?"

"Sure. Any-"

"Never say anything when someone asks you something Apple Pie, trust me. I've seen that word exploited so many times I'm surprised its still in the language."

Apple Pie blinked, then nodded slowly. "Alright...what do yah want to know?"

"...Why did you forgive us so quickly? Why did you really? We...I killed Magica. I let Poison Apple die...How can you really forgive me so easily?"

Apple Pie simply smiled. "Because, Ah can see yah ain't the same pony yah was that day. She didn't show anything. She didn't feel guilty, she was just dead inside. Even when yah came here as an Earth Pony filly, yah didn't look like her. Yah were already changin'."

"But...how do you know it isn't a trick?"

"Because when ponies shape don't always stay the same, and when dead ponies can come back not bein' the same ponies they used ta be, yah learn ta look for the things that don't change that easy," the little filly rubbed against me. "And yah three...Ah can tell, yah ain't the same ponies yah were back in Ponyville. Ah think mah whole family can see it. Yer all are new ponies... who Ah think deserves a new chance."

I teared up a little and hugged her. "Thanks, Apple Pie...that means a lot..."

Later, there were only a thousand variable, only a thousand things to considered, only a thousand disasters that could happened.

Using the Elements could make Discord aware we had a full team again, that we were cured, and that we were a threat to drop a mountain on top of. There was also the chance that fully awakening the Elements of Harmony could destroy our Elements of Chaos and kill us after one use, leaving Equestria without the one hope it had in so long. Or both Elements together would trigger a thermo-harmony explosion. We considered all these possibilities and more.

We took a vote, each giving a logical argument for why they voted that way and assuring the rest they'd understand if they were voted down -after all, we needed our friendship to use the Elements-. You know which way Derpy voted, and you know Spike voted the way Rarity did. Ultimately it came down to me to either go with it, or have it end in a tie. I could have found some telepathy spell or something to ask Dinky what she wanted, risking to see the truth of her state of mind. But that hadn't been on the list of spells Master had wished me to learn.

I decided that we had to know if our circle was strong enough to activate the Elements, and trust in Spike, Derpy, and Apple Pie to find successors if worse came to worst.

AJ had set up the mother of all illusions to buffer our give away and went as far away from the farm house as we reasonably could so if Discord did notice, he wouldn't know Apple Pie's Clan had anything to do with it -and so we didn't accidentally blow up the house with love and tolerance-.

Derpy put Dinky in the center of our circle of friendship.

"It's okay Dinky, you'll be okay real soon," Derpy whispered, smiling, giving her one last nuzzle.

And this was the moment of truth.

"Formation."

We stood in a circle around Dinky. Rarigreed and Jack were opposite each other on the wheel, and Derpy was opposite Apple Pie, and Spike next to Rarity. Derpy looked to the sky, then to her child.

Like an echo, I focused my magic to activate the Harmony side of my Element of Magic, but this echo came back stronger, and it called out to the others.

++++

Rarity, Rarigreed, Lady Desire, all one and the same, she focused her heart and mind on the honest truth. She was greedy, she had hurt those who loved her. To grasp for everything, was the most likely course to leave her with nothing. She wanted it all, but her freedom and her friends, she wanted more than anything.

Applejack. She had given up truth believing it would prevent a self fulfilling prophecy, and she had actually walked right into it. And she had lied for a thousand years to herself and others. And somewhere along the road, she had begun to say anything as long as it decreased the pain they felt. She took any abuse, said any lie or truth, as long it eased the burden or others, stranger, foe, or friend alike.

Apple Pie. She recognized the contrariness of the world and acknowledged it. The contrariness of herself, of life, of her family and her new friends. And she couldn't help but laugh at it! She didn't once think she was better than anything she laughed at, because she knew she was rather laugh worthy herself. And if the first laugh didn't make others laugh, it had missed the point. And the most important part was a laugh could be the first step towards making a friend. Heh.

Spike. A dragon was born greedy. To amass things, to amass what belonged to them was as natural to them as salmon swimming up stream. Giving was simply something dragons didn't do. And Spike had. The elusive, said to be mythical, joy of giving rather than receiving was his. Spike, his very blood working against him, had chosen he'd rather give all of himself to be with her, to be with his friends, than for the treasures and babbles he could have. He asked himself if in his heart of hearts he was willing to give all of himself to them, he answered yes.

Derpy. She had endured hell for a thousand years for the sake of her child, she'd have endured a thousand years more for another who had judged her. And nothing had forced her to keep going, nothing had stopped her from simply walking away. And she had been willing to make the choice if it ever presented itself. She was ready to walk one path if two forced themselves on her. And she'd live with that choice. And she had never once turned back! And now she wouldn't give up on her friends, no matter what! What more was there to be said-?!

Lines of different colored light connected to each other via six points, the colors began to alternate, going faster and faster until they were a six pointed star traced with white light! Different pieces of a rainbow rose up and connected, and washed down on the muffin composed filly in the center.

+++++

Once upon a time, I was with mama, mommy, my mother. Her name was Derpy Hooves, but, some ponies also called her Ditzy Doo, in particular the rainbow pegasus. I had a big sister, -I have a big sister!- her name is Sparkler, but I only saw her on special days, when the Sister-Something Social was held in at some farm, she was willing to make a special visit just for us, and even move back to, the town we lived in before. She was a really good babysitter. She foalsat... other foals.

My mom delivered the mail, always. Not rain, nor snow, nor parasprites kept her from her appointed rounds! My sister made things shine and sparkle. I think I had friends. No no no I must have had friends. Right? It couldn't be that my mom was so special that no pony wanted to be around me. That doesn't make sense. I wish I could remember what my friends names were.

We were happy. I remember that crystal clear. Sometimes scary things happened, but I can't remember what they were, but together we were happy.

I remember the day everything went wrong. I wasn't part of a special trip to Canterlot Garden even though I wanted to go. The weather went weird. The animals went weird. The town went weird. The trees went weird. The ponies went weird. Sparkler turned into a dancing purple crystal statue, she almost hit me with a crystal hoof as she danced around, like she didn't notice anything else. Did I meet her before or after what happened? I can't remember anymore.

Then I heard somepony snap their fingers, and I felt the weight of my horn go bye-bye, and I felt something on my back. Wings. WINGS?! Wings! I have wings like mommy! I can fly now like mommy!

Mommy came home, she said horrible, horrible things to me, she told me I was adopted (that had to be a lie right?), that she didn't love me, that she never loved me, that she found me in the garbage and wished she had left me there. Those had to be lies, right? Then I suddenly felt barren inside, lifeless, broken.

I stayed like that for a long time. The sun and moon kept going up and down. All I know is that it was a long long time. I was, oh right, hungry but I was too another kind of empty to care. I wished everything but me would vanish so nothing would hurt again.

And the sun and moon kept twisting. Ponies I'm sure I knew being crazy but I didn't care, I wanted them all to vanish. I was dizzy, tired, thirsty, hungry, and dirty, I didn't care. I hoped mom vanished first.

Somepony hugged me, she felt warm, she whispered, "All will be well, just wait, I promise everything will be okay someday, just have faith, I promise. You'll all be together again and you'll be happy. Just have the courage to believe."

I dared open my eyes. I didn't see anypony. I felt whole, I felt alive. My wings were gone, my horn was back where it belonged. I was still dirty and hungry. I had to find mom. I galloped, I found her poking two violet pegasi in cages, they buzzed miserably like bees.

"Ha! Whose wing-power is measured in muffins now? Who belongs in a home now? HUH?! HUH!?" Mom laughed like a wicked-step-mother.

"Mommy!"

"What do you want brat?"

"I LOVE YOU MOMMY! THIS ISN'T YOU! MOMMY WOULDN'T DO THIS! BE YOU AGAIN PLEASE!"

"Let go you brat! I said let go! Grr! There! That wasn't enough? You want to be hit again? Okay! I said let go! Let go!"

I didn't, I hugged, I hugged her neck, she bucked and pitched trying to throw me off. I think I was poking her in the head with my horn a bit. I begged, "Please remember mommy! Remember the real you!"

There was a flash. Images of all the time she had been with me, and been with Sparkler, like the time she had taken her on her rout to teach her how hard mommy's job really was, and the time she took care of me when I was sick, she was always there for me, she didn't care how many ponies called her strange as long as we were with her, and ... and ...

"Muffin? Muffin is cat blue?"

She looked hurt too, but not like I had hurt her. Like something else was.

My eyes watered looking at mom's two-way eyes, she looked at me, she cared.

"YES MOMMY IT'S ME!"

"MARCHING BAND!" Mommy shouted and hugged her, crying as we spun around.

Everypony was crazy, we tried to find the nice Earth Pony who mom is talking to, but he tried to hit us in the head with a scepter. I wish I knew what I did to help mommy. We tried to help Sparkler, but she just ignored us. Finally we tried to go to Canterlot to get help from the Princesses. But a big furry-snake-dragon-thing found us instead.

"Well this is rather surprising ... I LOVE SURPRISES! Keeps things from being boring! Now how did you go and ruin my fun? Oh well doesn't matter, BECAUSE THAT JUST MEANS I GET TO HAVE MORE FUN WITH YOU! Now let's see ... hey! Get back here! I'm not doing talking to you!" It snapped its fingers. Mommy's wings and legs suddenly ... broke. She skidded and got a burn on her face, I fell off and skidded as well.

"Now now! That's not very polite! Running off when someone is talking, what bad manners! Especially when that someone is your esteemed President."

"Mommy!" She was so hurt. I looked at the monster, "You big bully!"

It ignored me.

Mommy looked back at it, recognition in her eyes, "Your face, you, you were the bubbles weren't you?"

It struck a proud pose putting its fingers on its chest, "I've been many things my dear, Derpy? Yes? Or Ditzy? Nice you want to join me in the 'I have many names club' but pick something a bit more classy."

"You leave Mommy alone!" I shouted at the big monster, really scared but angry too.

"Please! Please! Groove rot two kelp bus! Trove bought two see the Astronomy! Everypony, Sparkler, My muffin!"

"You've been out of the loop for a while, how long do you think you spent paying back all those ponies who laughed at you?"

"They didn't laugh! Eye cream, not that many-I'M NOT LISTENING! LA LA!"

"Pst. As if I'd give a repeat performance ... repeat, performance ...always, repeating... " It shook its head, then looked at momma. " What would you do to help your little baby fillies?"

"ANYTHING!"

"No pony ever taught you the dangers of 'anything,' did they?"

It grinned and snapped its fingers.

And ... everything changed but nothing changed again.

I don't, I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT! Can't move! Can't breath! Smelling muffins, always muffins! Birds! Pain! Mommy! Mommy! MOMMY!!!

And for a zillion bazillion forevers the birds never stopped coming. Wanting to eat me. Mama. Mommy. Mother.

She never stopped trotting with her wrong-healed legs. She never stopped talking to me. She never forgot I was a pony. I never became a thing. I always stayed her daughter. She always loved me. She always spoke to me. She never stopped telling me about things. She was always there for me. And the birds. Always the birds. But she protected me.

...

Then something finally changed. Spike the dragon (easy to remember him, only dragon in town, but I don't remember him being so big), and ... mares who mother knew. I didn't understand what was happening. She handed me to Spike. But when she came back to get me, the birds went away for good, and more things changed.

I was terrified when I first saw bird pony. I was sure she was going to eat me.

I remember! Orange Top! Ruby Pinch! I was friends with them ... I think?

So many new ponies, and so friendly. It remind me of, of, OF PONYVILLE! That was the name of our home!

They talk about trusting and momma hands me to a filly. The filly talks to me. She's so nice. She's so funny.

The adults, the ponies, talk about helping me. Help with what?

Mother puts me down on the ground, I don't see any birds in the sky. Her eyes never leave me. Then these second-cutie-marks on mommy and the others grow really bright.

Then a rainbow gives me a shower.

So, many, memories, coming back ... allatonce!

I need air. I try and fail to steady myself on my hooves, wait. I'm breathing, I can MOVE! I can feel my heartbeat! I'm alive! I'm free!

Dinky held her perfect at attention pose for a second then sprawled on the ground.

Cringing at the scrap and dust Dinky shut her eyes, not smelling muffins for the first time in forever. The sound of her heart beating was like a roar. Her body gasped for breath, the first breath she'd taken in a thousand years.

She felt a pair of wings fold around her, she opened her eyes, everything was a blur. They slowly focused on a pair of ditzy eyes looking lovingly at her.

"Ma-thor?... Pill-ease don' 'et 'his eee ah drrr-eam." Her mouth spilled out trying to remember how to speak.

Her limbs worked clumsy trying to hug her, Derpy gently guided them around her neck. The two nuzzled and their tears mixed.

"N-no honey, it's not a dream, mommy promises."

There wasn't a dry eye in the circle.

"Ain't, ain't that darlin'?"

"I want a filly too."

Spike wrapped a finger around Rarity for his version of a hug.

"C-C-Congratulations!" Apple Pie said.

Twilight said nothing, could say nothing, the relief that ran through her made her cry harder. They looked so perfect together. For a moment she could see her herself and her mother.

Dinky's colors were like their mother's, not faded. Their gray was somehow seemed more alive than the gray Discord turned ponies. It made them seem rather strange to the pale pastel colors every other pony alive had. But that was all the same for the pair, and they couldn't care less. Her nightmare was over.

"Hey Half-Light, why does the ground look all weird?" Apple Pie asked next to Twilight.

Where the Elements had touched little Dinky was a two meters circle with just dirt and grass. Apple Pie had never seen non-checkerboard ground, it was normal to her. Ponies had been adapting to Discord's twisting world for a thousand years, how much damage would the heroes cause if those changes were all undone? No. The Elements of Harmony weren't like that, they weren't destructive! There's no way they'd leave countless seaponies suddenly without gills and several miles up over the valley of spikes. The, the Elements would never do that. They restored harmony, and what harmony was changed as time went by. And Discord would keep causing misery if we did nothing. The reign of the Draconequus had to end.

"It's nothing Apple Pie, I'm sure it's nothing, don't worry about it." Applejack said before Twilight could speak.

Apple Pie smiled and nodded at once.

"HAPPY REUNION! LOVE! SMILES! HUGS! TEARS! LAUGHS! And all those good things!!" Apple Pie laughed, and Derpy and Dinky laughed through their tears.

"Laughter and tears together! It shouldn't make sense but it does! Ha-ha!" Apple Pie clapped. She danced around, striking every carnival pose she could think of until we laughed too. "Ah'm Apple Pie! Nice to meet, oh yeah we already met! Sorry-sorry!" She hopped backwards away from the scene letting mother and foal continue to hug each other for the first time in a thousand years.

Twilight could almost see the fires of love flicker and burn around the two. AJ hugged Twilight and she hugged her, Apple Pie joined in. "Mine!" Rarity hugged them too with Spike's finger still holding. They let Derpy and Dinky have their moment of sunshine.

"Mom, I'm hungry." "Muf-honey, you need a bath." "So do you." They laughed and hugged tighter! Apple Pie clapped at the contradiction.

Dinky stuffed her face until her belly ached, there wasn't much of that lovely marble cake left (Rarity glared at a meek Twilight for that one). Like her mother, she had to be reminded how to eat, which Derpy did with motherly care. Apple Computer politely hid the rock-berry muffins.

The two splashed and laughed even louder in the bathroom, Derpy having to provide the rainwater since the Apples Pies were used to dry cleaning, but that was just a bump on the road now. The entire room was soaked and covered in bubbles before they were done.

"You two doing okay in there?" Rarity asked, and opened the bathroom door only to flood the hall with suds. Bubbles rose from the surface and floated in the air from where Rarity had been buried.

"I," "hate," "baths," Rarity's words were released as the bubbles popped opened one by one.

"Yippiee!"

"Yahooo!"

"Where are you? Where are you honey?"

"Boo! Right here!"

Derpy laughed and hugged her flapping her wings making more bubbles splatter around the room.

"Mom! This is so much better than when it rained soap and water!"

Derpy suddenly faced her, a slightly disturbed look on her face, "... Honey... what do you remember?"

"Everything. You protecting me. You never stopped speaking to me. I heard ghost stories at Ruby's house where ponies who were made into statues forgot they were ponies because ponies didn't talk to them like they were ponies. I never forgot I was a pony. You saved me mom! Thank you so much." Dinky spoke with a thousand years worth of maturity. "You're my hero mom! I never stopped being a pony in my heart because I never stopped being one in your heart!"

"Thank you dear!" Derpy couldn't remember when she had been so happy, her heart felt like it was going to explode.

"Thank you? THANK YOU MOTHER!"

Spike guarding outside the bathroom window surprised AJ when he didn't give a 'gag me' motion earning himself a kick to the head. 'Guess some things do change,' AJ thought.

The Elements of Chaos (thankfully, the Elements of Harmony being used didn't seem to damage their opposite number) had expected Apple Pie to suggest a party, and were reminded she was not a party pony when she instead just wanted to play with her new friend and pouted when she was told Dinky and her mother had a lot of catching up to do. AJ ran interference and convinced Derpy to let her play pattycake for a bit with the other foal. Banana and Cream also wanted to check out this mythical 'unicorn' filly. Dinky couldn't help but feel like a celebrity.

Twilight took advantage of the play time to talk to Derpy about how Dinky had ended up that way in the first place, now that the horrible ordeal had come to an end. In retrospect it was an insensitive question. She was surprised by what she heard.

"Dinky used a memory spell on you?"

"I...I don't know if that's what it was ...But I remembered how special Dinky was to me...it was like this black fog in my head was gone...she saved me."

What truly amazed Twilight was when she took Dinky aside after Dinky's playtime. To test a theory she chose to teach Dinky the memory spell fully. It should have been impossible to teach the complex spell to a thousand year old filly in a short time. But it was like somepony had already taught her the spell and Twilight was giving her a crash refresher course.

The memory spell was based off of what Twilight had copied from Cadence's own magic. How was this possible? Dinky had barely realized she had cast a spell. 'A mysterious warm hug and kind words' made even less sense. Was it Cadence? She had been on the other side of the world. Had Dinky done on instinct as part of her special talent? Another drop of confusion to the chaotic mix.

"Dinky...remember, this spell is important, it's one of the few that can overcome discording."

Dinky nodded. "I understand...but why teach me?"

"Because you can learn it...and Discord did his best to eradicate this spell from the world. I'm not asking you to gallop around restoring ponies, that'd be reckless and cause you more trouble than good. I'm teaching you so in case something happens, the knowledge is carried on and you might teach others...and perhaps heal some of his victims if you get the opening. Understand?"

Dinky nodded, giving a serious face that looked strange on her young body. "I understand, I'll do my best not to let you down."

Derpy waited for them outside Apple Pie's bedroom looking in. Twilight stayed silent all the way back to the living room where the ponies eagerly accepted the return of the newest guest of honor.

There were times Twilight hated being the leader. She placed a hoof on Derpy's shoulder. "Derpy ... you know she has to stay here where it's safe, please? It's heavy enough bringing Apple Pie. If we bring Dinky too ... she's going to get killed, or worse ... Discord, The Valeyard, Traitor Dash, Fluttercruel, and Angry Pie aren't going to show mercy just because she's a foal. They'll go for her first because they know we'll do anything to protect her. Discord will place her and us in separate dangers to try and break your Element of Loyalty. He's already got Sparkler to use against you, we can't give him more leverage."

" ... I said I'd stay with you until the end. This isn't the end... . And ..." Derpy's lip quivered, "And it would be selfish for me to take her with us." Her wings shook. One eye looked at Twilight, another at her child. "Being loyal to more than one thing really hurts."

Twilight just nodded. AJ hugged and nuzzled Derpy, she didn't resist.

Derpy's felt her insides turn to ice at having to tell her baby this. But knew she had to break it to her sooner than later, she'd known from the moment they'd restored her. What surprised her was as Dinky blinked away tears she stood on her back hooves and crossed her front ones and bowed her head. "I understand mother," She said calmly. "Please be safe. Just come back safe. There are so many things I still want us all to do! Please, please just come back safe, please?"

Derpy looked at her in shock. So were the other Elements.

'Easy to forget it as a thousand years for her too,' Rarity thought.

"Ya can protect her?" Applejack asked Apple Computer.

"They'd have to get through every Apple and Pie alive to so much as touch her. And anyone who tries will walk away on crutches!" Banana Pie said proudly. Cream Pie, Minty, the Jacks, Rocky Jr, all gave their word as well. Cream Pie proudly patted her (unarmed) stockpile of bombs.

Apple Computer said, "Yah don't survive out here without knowin' tricks for stayin' under the radar. We'll keep her safe, don't yah worry one bit."

Applejack gave each of her relatives a hug. Apple Pie did the same. Rarity told Cheery Pie to tell Guru Fido she was honored to speak with him. Twilight hugged Cream Pie and Banana Pie as well. Twilight and Minty hesitated to touch each other again. "Good luck Twilight," She just said instead. Twilight nodded in return. Derpy and Dinky shared the longest hug in history. Spike just waited outside for everypony and Rarity. He waved the foals who had played on him fair-well.

"Have fun defeating the evil overlord!" One of them called.

"Alright girls," Twilight said as boldly as she could, "Let's go save the world."

Episode 84: (Shining Armor) gninroM tsriF

Pony POV Series
Shining Armor Part 3
By lz0291
gninroM tsriF-First Morning
Edited by Alex Warlorn, Kendell2, And the producer of the Pony POV Series Audio Adaption Louis Badalament.

"I love you and I respect you, Shiny, but... why do we have to go all this way?"

"To get the new season shirt of course," I replied for the fifth time.

Myself and my sister, Twilight Sparkle, were at that moment walking down a street in Canterlot. She was wearing only a saddlebag, advertising her status as a college mare. I, on the other hoof, as a respectable officer of the Royal Guard, wore a lovely red shirt, as well as a saddlebag. Spike meanwhile wore a Twilight Sparkle on his bottom while reading a newspaper.

"Yes, but there's good sports shops nearer the castle! We're about to walk past one! You're waving at one of the workers there!" Twiley protested.

"He went to my school and his brother is in the Guard. He's also more of a Cloudball fan," I explained my wave.

Twilight groaned as the shop worker in the Baltimare Ravens shirt waved back.

"And we still can't just buy a new shirt in there because...?"

"They might have touched TROTTENHAM shirts in there before hanging them up! You've no idea what kind of hooves have touched them afterwards either. Only at the Maresenal Store are you certain no greasy Lillywhite Spurs germs have touched your shirt!"

She gave me a look as a newspaper page was turned by the dragon on her back.

"...Are you serious?"

Was I serious? Was SHE serious?!

She then advised, "You should start following Caledonian Hoofball, then maybe when you're going crazy like this you'd be out of my mane for a week while you travel up north to buy your replica shirts..."

"I'd mail-order them," I quickly retorted.

Besides, Caledonian Hoofball was a two-pony race until mere weeks before that day, between the big two Clydesdale clubs, Manegers and Gaelic. The former however had dropped to Division Three due to massive financial problems. They'd even sold off their historic shares in Maresenal a few months ago.

"Why didn't you mail-order THIS?!"

"You know what the mail is like delivering to the barracks! Come on, Twiley, it's only a short trip away on carriage! Besides, you've not been to the stadium in a long while..."

"I'm not a big fan of hoofball."

"You liked it as a filly."

She fumed a little at that one.

"No, I liked reading the hoofball rule books you gave me! And why are you wearing the old one to buy the new one?!"

"It's a charity drive. Buy the new shirt, put in an old one as a donation, you get a discount because the club donates half the sales tax to charity. Help build drinking wells, afford more food aid, and some poor deprived Zebrafrican gets a chance to wear a real Hoofball team's shirt!"

"...Pretty sure most Zebra would prefer Neighcastle. Or Trotts County. Or Paisneigh Buddies. Or Foalventus." She muttered.

"Pha, Foalventus? Itallion lightweights!"

"...Foalventus four, Maresenal one."

"Four-three on aggregate! We had an away goal so when we were denied that penalty we were denied the win!"

"Ugh, this is why it's impossible to debate sports! There's always something. The referee got it wrong, the timer was started too slow, its not fair to have Fleetfoot be the lead flyer for the Wonderbolts team because too many other racers slow down to enjoy the view..."

Twiley was amazingly quiet for the rest of the walk. Spike was noisier turning newspaper pages. Then we neared the station. It was originally going to a magic powered-tram system, but the CCBC had dug in their hooves against that one. A small perk of both our positions was a discount on the Canterlot Bus Carriage Service, that was going to supposedly be replaced by a rail system in one year or two once they got a viable steam engine working (The Princess was very confident this technology could work. She already had the blueprints drawn up after wresting with the 'Conserve Canterlot's Beauty Committee.' Being...well, Princess Celestia, she'd worked out a compromise).

Our discount was better than a Mollusk card. We both produced the relevant identification to get the discount at the ticket office - my Royal Guard identification card, and Twilight's student pass (formality more than anything when you're The Princess' personal apprentice).

"I hate public transit. It's hot, crowded, and hard to read..." Twilight complained as we headed for the platform.

"Spike likes it. Don't you, Spike?" I prompted.

"Huh? Oh, yeah."

He folded up the newspaper, shoving it into one of Twilight's saddlebags, only to grab one of the free papers given away on public transport in Canterlot (sometimes its hard to believe he's still considered a baby dragon, especially given he's been around as long as Twilight in Celestia's gifted school). It meant when the bus arrived, Twilight simply tried to read the other paper and was complaining about its articles within a few moments.

"Ugh, another Sunny Day hatchet job. She's trying to claim Hogwarts and the Unseen University are both going to surpass the School for Gifted Unicorns next year."

"Everypony else just reads the fashion pages and the funnies before they do the crossword," Spike commented to no one in particular.

"Oh, and you read the fashion pages?" Twilight pondered.

"Well, yeah. Look at all those gemstones in the Autumn collection!"

"You know the princess laughs at the tabloids most of the time, Twiley," I replied. I didn't follow Sunny Day personally, but heard plenty about her and Celestia's laugh from the older guards.

"Yeah. Usually, she does. But tabloids are still awful filth. I'll never forget the outbreak of 'Molestia' articles that came out shortly after I began living at the castle." There was more than a hint of venom in her tone. "Celestia certainly wasn't laughing then. Neither was I."

"For the record, little sister, all the REST of us had sharp words with anypony who quoted that garbage at us. Mom, Dad, AND me."

There was relative silence, other than the hubbub of the other bus passengers. I enjoyed getting suspicious glares from posh-looking passengers who either preferred sports more 'cultured' (shorthoof for elitist and boring), or were Lillywhites.

After ten minutes, we reached the first stop, getting off the Celestia Line service at Princess Cross station, to catch a Picafilly Line service and then get off at Hollowneigh Road. That journey was shorter, and five minutes later we had just a short walk to Emareates Stadium, our route taking us right towards the official store, called the Armory.

"Still don't know why I had to come..." Twilight muttered as we started walking towards the stadium. Spike was back on her, back, and both newspapers were away.

"It's educational!" I protested.

I got another look for that. I didn't bother trying to justify the statement.

"Okay, you're here to stop me from going overboard and buying full Home, Away, and Limited Edition Historical kits."

"...How much would that cost?"

Ninety bits for the shirts, forty for the shorts, forty for the socks... A hundred and seventy a kit. Two hundred and ten for the historical... And I'd probably have looked at other things in the store as well. I might even have tried to buy a Season Ticket even though I rarely had match days off. The charity discount was only about ten bits.

"Probably close to nine hundred bits."

Ironically, it wouldn't have been any great loss to me to have spent my savings on all of that, especially since I could have just gave the season ticket to somepony else. I believe the word is 'D'oh.'

"Would it be that bad? All you've really got for civilian clothes is that shirt you have on right now."

"I have a hoody somewhere!" I protested.

"You gave that to me last winter."

Snow plus Unobservant College Student Wandering Around In It times Overprotective Big Brother ≠ Actual Maths, but does equal 'Twiley here's a jacket for the winter.'

"...Scarf?"

"Dad still has it."

"I know I had a tracksuit..." I tried lamely.

"Shrank in the laundry, you and your squad used it to make a Nightmare Night decoration to annoy a Trottenham supporter."

"Oh. Well, maybe I should buy a few more things..."

We neared the store, only for Spike to spot a possible problem.

"Hey, they've got big signs outside. What are they for?"

I began to read as we neared, and the information was not pleasant.

"...It says that they've been having shipment problems in replacing their stock recently and all they have left for new season stuff is what's listed there in those sizes." Twilight helpfully noted, and then the penny dropped as she noticed the key part of the list.

Only home kits in my size were actually in stock. Even the extra apparel like hooded shirts was all out - unless I wanted it three sizes too small, that is.

"...Which means I never had to come in the first place. But I suppose you had no way of knowing this would happen," she then said.

Hooray for a rational sister!

"Anyway, let's just get the shirt. And since you came all this way for nothing, Twiley, how about I get you something?"

"Wait, is that the Away kit?" She asked, pointing at the purple and black banded shirt in the window.

"Yep."

"Hmm..."

"I kind of like that too..." Spike confessed.

Of course, inside, there were a few other things of interest after all. We left the store, my bits having paid for One Stallions Home Jersey for the new season, one Mare's Away Jersey, one Junior's (Dragon's) Away Jersey, one large Stallion's Saddlebag with the club crest, and two books on the club's history. Sadly my Royal Guard ID didn't fit in the only card holders they had in stock. If it had, I'd have probably experienced a much easier morning a few days later...

I awoke. I hadn't been too surprised remembering that dream. Those events had occurred only a week or so before my promotion ceremony, and as it turned out, they were the last occasion on which I spent any meaningful time with my sister. The previous night had been uneventful, and my thoughts had been lingering occasionally on what I was leaving behind for two years. Waking up from that dream somewhat hammered the point home.

My sister, friends in the guard who hadn't come with us, Maresenal, radio shows, the occasional play, birthdays, and Hearth's Warming Eves. All to be missed for two years. I could probably catch up on new books as I knew that ships could get letters and small items sent to them eventually, but I wasn't kidding when I said it was tricky for Twilight to get letters to me.

Items can be sent to ships, via 'post-onwards' boxes in the Admiralty Section of Horse Guards, the administrative building in Canterlot City that deals with the paperwork for the Royal Guard. Unfortunately, items must come from the Royal Mail, be registered deliveries dispatched by courier, and would all be examined.

This meant that if she were to send a letter from Ponyville, the Postmisstress there would need to send a special courier out instead of simply chucking it onto a mail train to be sent to a sorting office in Canterlot. That made it more expensive, but you might think quicker.

Wrong. There's only ever about twenty on duty at once to check all incoming and outgoing mail with scanning spells, and they're also performing other duties besides scanning. All of it is sorted and categorized by those twenty Royal Guards, and each letter is given a priority based on the sender. Letters from family often get low priority.

On top of that, only a limited number of small physical items can be sent to a ship once per day through the anti-teleportation wards, as for security they're only lowered around the communications room for a brief period daily. A brief period in which the room is also full of Naval Cavalry ready to fight off any 'unwanted deliveries' and a blast containment spell for good measure.

I'd thought her returning to Canterlot following the Summer Sun Celebration would have eased all of that, as it cut out a large portion of it, but...well, you know what happens next.

Anyway, back to me waking up from the dream. We were by that point well underway, and it was oh five thirty hours according to the ship's clock. The time I usually get up anyway.

(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn): Did waking up in a genuinely strange place disorientate you, Captain?)

Not really. At the time I had my mind on other matters.

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): Hoofball and an inefficient mail system, apparently.)

Quite. As it is, cabins on ships are quite similar to quarters in the barracks. Quite a bit smaller, of course, with the desk designed to mostly fold away, and with some ship-board safety notices pinned to the back of the door, but overall, it was not wholly alien to me. The occasional turbulence did disorientate me a bit at first, but it soon passed. Oh, and they call them 'portholes' instead of 'windows.' Nothing to see half of the time anyway, just clouds and ocean, even when the sun is up.

I did feel a bit confused when I noticed it was still dark out, until I recalled Princess Celestia's earlier warning, and dismissed it. After yesterday it was a relief to put on my armor with my horn again. I'd been asked to meet Commander Shepard in her ready room at seven hundred hours, so I decided I would see about something to eat before that and catch up with whichever of my troopers were awake.

Instead, I was met outside my door by a nervous Hoofmaiden: a blue-coated unicorn.

"Oh, Captain! You're awake!" She said with obvious relief in her voice and body language.

"Is there a problem, ma'am?"

"Well, I'm not sure. Cade... The Princess said not to worry about the sun not being up yet, but I usually wake up later than this and for some reason I woke up at five instead. And then I saw that some of the soldiers on the ship seem to be wearing green armor and fatigues, and they were acting like nothing is wrong..."

"Ah, I presume you know that if the Royal Guard wears green it's supposed to mean they're expecting trouble?"

She nodded.

"Did you see any of my troopers wearing green, or just the Air Naval Cavalry from the ship itself?"

Air Naval Cavalry are basically members of the Air Naval section of the Royal Guard that, instead of being crewmembers on the ships, acted much like the regular Ground Guard did back on land, providing security and being there to respond to anything dangerous.

"I'm not sure..."

"Naval Cavalry would be wearing green berets instead of helmets, and have plumeless helmets hanging off their armor instead," I informed her of the differences to watch out for.

"All the ones I saw in green were wearing berets... Are they expecting trouble?"

"I don't imagine so. Air Naval Cavalry operate differently from the land-based guard. They wear their green armor and fatigues all the time. I think the tradition is when they're at sea or in the air, they're supposed to be ready for anything. And I think when the Air Navy are on alert they flash red lights."

We both took a glance at the electro-magic lights that gave a bright but artificial glow in the corridor.

"...Do they have to change the bulb?" She wondered.

"I think they might use magical bulbs," I guessed.

By the way? She was partially right. I would later learn that there was a minotaur Petty Officer First Class called Kryten who had the task of confirming bulbs were at the right alert status if a change in alert was called. Generally, if one was wrong, he simply hit it a bit until it changed color or, you guessed it, changed the bulb.

"Oh. So then there's nothing to worry about?"

"I don't think so... no."

She was satisfied by that and wandered off after saying goodbye. I headed for the ship's mess hall, as planned, noting that a few of the green-clad Air Naval Cavalry moving around, along with the Air Naval crew wearing their white sailor shirts and the flat caps they wear. I was suddenly a little jealous of their geeky but comfortable uniforms.

There, I found Sergeant Thunderchild, Lance-Corporal Apple, and Private Audience talking with an Air Naval Petty Officer by a table. I got a muffin and headed over to join them. None of them had any plates or food, but the sailor pony seemed to be nodding at something.

"Well, I'll try and speak to the Master Chief about that, if your officer is okay with that," he was saying.

"Good morning, troopers, Petty Officer. Something for my attention?"

"Morning, Sir. Quite possibly. You see, Private Audience here was wondering about some of the naval ranged arms, so we were asking Petty Officer Turnip if we could arrange him to try some..." Thunderchild began.

"Ah, yes. You're probably interested in their miniature gunpowder cannons," I said to Audience.

"Yes Sir. We never had any gunpowder weapons back at the castle and I was wanting to see how they compared to crossbows," He replied.

"They kick like a mule," the Petty Officer, an earth pony, said.

"Er, beg your pardon, Petty Officer Turnip but... How could you have fired one?"

"I didn't. Mister Broadside did." He motioned his head towards a nearby unicorn in naval uniform.

"So..." I wondered, but he continued.

"He pulled the trigger, lost his telekinetic grip on it, and the gun flew back and smacked me in the face."

"Sounds painful," I noted.

"Not really, I was rendered unconscious at the time, Sir. It was the headache afterwards that hurt."

"I see. Anyway, if you're wanting to ask, I can maybe speak to Commander Shepard about it..."

Turnip however raised a hoof to cut me off.

"Er, begging your pardon, Sir, but Commander Shepard will merely redirect you to the Master Chief Petty Officer in charge of the Cavalry. I could ask him for you."

"Very well, thank you, Petty Officer. If the Master Chief is willing to let a few of my troopers take a few shots I'm sure it'd keep them entertained."

The naval crewpony bid his farewell and promised to give me an update later in the day. And reminded the troopers not to stand directly behind someone holding the guns.

It certainly would keep the troops entertained, even the pegasi and earth ponies that couldn't fire the miniature cannons. I'd probably give it a go myself if I could, and be thankful for the lack of actual targets while the ship was in flight. This wasn't to say I can't hit the broad side of a barn. The problem was, I can and I did. And our archery range was three miles from the farm I hit.

Ah, well. Archery is rare in the Guard anyway. It's a fairly frequent special talent, true, but even unicorns with the advantage of telekinesis found bows tricky to use, even crossbows, which are much easier to aim. Most unicorns simply made do with their magic instead of a bow.

Suffice to say, with my shooting ability, I was one of the ones relying on magic, which even if I did have aiming talent, would probably still be the case, considering my specialty is defensive spells, which caters to a completely different style. Private Audience however was one of the best archers in the Guard. It helped he was skilled in using a long-range vision spell. Training with the miniature cannons would probably be a good way for him to pass his time.

Huh? What did I do to pass my time? Well, when it turned out I'd have more free time than I thought I'd have, I was bored stiff. I was way too used to having books on hoof with Twiley. I'd have even taken up a challenge from Spike for a game of Draco Kong.

We all fetched ourselves some breakfast and sat down at a table.

"So, how are the troopers settling in on the ship?" I asked Thunderchild as we made our way towards fetching breakfast.

"Well enough so far, Sir, but not many of them are awake yet, of course," he said.

"Of course. Have Sergeant Foaly and Sergeant Reinolds spoken to you about any duty roster plans?"

"I assumed you would want to discuss that with us all and the other NCOs after you saw Commander Shepard, Sir, but we've been having some informal discussions."

"I see. Lance-Corporal, what about your rung of the NCO ladder?"

"Not so much, Sir, we just asked Corporal Griffen a few questions about Griffin countries. I went to bed early 'cos I was traveling yesterday."

"Yes. I hear your family reunion had some sort of brunch to avoid."

"Yup. There was this one time me and my buddy Heath were at the reunion when it was in Savvaneigh, and Heath somehow got into an eating contest with mah cousin Applejack..."

"Er, Lance-Corporal..."

"...That was a draw so they tried a burping contest which Heath won, then a lasso contest, and then a horseshoe throwing contest..."

"Lance-Corporal Apple..."

"...then they decided to try swimming for a tiebreaker, all of us forgetting Heath can't swim..."

"Ellis, can this one wait? I was going to ask you about yesterday," I said.

"Oh! Right, sorry, Sir. Uh, I can finish that one real quick though. Long story short, Heath screamed every time she saw a swimming pool for the next six months. Anyway, what did you want to know about yesterday?"

"Just wondering how it went."

"Not bad. Ponyville's a nice town, and Sweet Apple Acres is a bit bigger than the farm back home even if they got less ponies workin' it. My cousins put some serious effort into it, Applejack and Big Macintosh are real hard workers, even by Apple family standards. And if you're asking about Twilight, yeah, they liked her alright. Applejack said she hopes they'll be friends before Twilight leaves, and some pink pony asked if I wanted to come to a 'welcome to Ponyville' party for her, but I had to go."

'Good luck with that,' I thought.

"Okay. You didn't see her in town, did you?"

"Not so much, saw her on my way to the train station when I was heading back, but Spike and her were talking to a yellow pegasus."

"Probably Weather Patrol stuff," Thunderchild added.

"Quite. Anyway, Thunderchild, quick question. Yesterday, you were offering to try and be with Twilight's chariot team, but you knew about this at the same time...."

"Ah, well, Sir..."

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): Oho! Did you realize he might have been wanting to keep an eye on Twilight for other reasons?)

Actually, that was not what I was getting at. Besides, Thunderchild's primarily attracted to a mare's wingspans. Talks about them constantly. Ergo, Twilight is not his type. So what I actually said was:

"You knew you'd just make me check on the team that had been assigned to confirm everything was all right, didn't you?"

"Yes," he said bluntly.

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): And you believed him?)

Of course I did. I'm not going into details, but let's just say 'Spitfire of the Wonderbolts preening her wings' and 'catatonic state' and we'll leave it at that.

"Oh, Sir, what exactly is this country we're going to called anyway?" Private Audience wondered.

"It's called the United Republics of Columbia. All I know is they apparently vote for their head of state every four years, they've got a large Air Navy, their Air Naval Cavalry are called Marines and are a separate branch of the military, and that the city we're landing in, Liberty City, is about twice the size of Manehattan. While local independent griffin clans think being unified means Columbian griffins are insane. I was hoping Corporal Griffen might be able to give us more information at some point later today. I think the Princess felt somepon... someone with direct experience of Griffin culture would be more useful than books."

"...I doubt that, Sir," Lance-Corporal Apple said, nodding his head to point at something.

Private Running Gag was talking to said Griffin.

""...I'm the black and white stallion with the black and white armor, can I marry your daughter now?' And the king said 'Sure'."

"Well, that's his braincells committing mass suicide. The Black and White Knight joke. Ellis, do you mind giving us some story about your buddy Heath again in case Gag comes over here with a different bad joke?" I said.

"Oh, sure, Sir. Well, there was this one time Heath figured she could build her own rollercoaster..."

Despite the fact Heath had allegedly died seventeen times, Bitter Apple's stories were infinitely more friendly to the braincells than one of Gag's punchlines. Well, I say punchlines, but it was more like being pummeled by a crowbar...

Breakfast concluded with a story that apparently ended in Heath being the first non-pegasus to reach a nearby Cloud Village without the aid of magic, but sadly not staying there very long and landing in a lake that inspired another six month spell of aquaphobia. It was nearing seven, so I went towards the ready room. Commander Shepard and a Master Chief Petty Officer waited there.

"Ah, good morning, Commander." She said, confusing me for a moment until the whole ship-captain and royal-guard-commander thing came to mind.

"Good morning, Captain."

"Commander Sparkle, this is Master Chief Petty Officer Spartan. He commands the Air Naval Cavalry detachment in the Flotilla."

(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn): Isn't that rank a senior non-commissioned officer in equivalent? Why would an NCO be the highest ranking Cavalrypony in the whole Flotilla?)

Air Naval Cavalry work differently. Officers are usually only found on Destroyers, Cruisers, Battleships and Carriers. A very senior NCO like the Master Chief would usually be in charge on a Frigate, and as the lead ship, the Frigate's commanding officers were in effect commanding officers to their departments on the whole flotilla. Besides, a Master Chief Petty Officer or a Sergeant Major usually have at least twenty years experience under their belts - Spartan probably had been a soldier a decade before I realized fillies did not have cooties.

Anyway, Spartan nodded as he was introduced.

"Pleased to meet you, Commander."

"Likewise, Master Chief. "

"We were going to discuss the security arrangements for the ship and for the Princess, but it occurs to me she might wish to be present. Master Chief was wondering if you would be okay with rescheduling the meeting to lunchtime?"

"I'd not object to it, but I'd hoped to clarify my unit's position aboard."

The Master Chief nodded.

"Easy enough. We'd need to clarify your platoon call sign for use with our own radios, but for ship-board security I think we'll probably be better off having a one to one mix of units, maybe put them in groups of four, two of yours, two of mine. Just so your ponies get to know the ropes a little faster."

"Seems reasonable. I've no idea about a callsign though. We're a bit of a misfit group from various regiments and companies." I admitted.

"Maybe just go with that, Commander? Use 'Misfit' for a callsign?" Shepard suggested.

"Misfit... if you're okay with being Misfit Actual, that's fine by me."

Callsigns were a unit's nickname using radio or even letter communications. My Platoon ended up being Misfit, making me and my command squad Misfit Actual. The first section or squad of ten ponies was Misfit One, commanded by Sergeant Foaly (who had previously been Hunter Two-One, apparently) and further broken down into two teams of five, Misfit One-One and One-Two. After that was a small specialist five-strong Scout team, Misfit One-Three, and then Sergeant Reinold's second section, Misfit Two.

As you can guess, I accepted that nickname for the unit. Unfortunately, it also gave Running Gag an unfortunate amount of ammunition for his 'humor.'

"Good. Well, we're halfway done from my perspective, sir. If you could maybe have a squad roster prepared so we can decide who to put with who that would be most useful."

"I'll try and get that done just now then, if I can beg your leave, Captain?" I said to Shepard. She nodded.

"Oh, Commander. I spoke with Petty Officer Turnip about your request. I'd be happy to accommodate some of your troopers to let them train with mine on the gun decks. I'll hammer out the details with you when we've got our rosters ready," Spartan added as I was leaving.

"Thank you, Master Chief."

And that was the end of the meeting. I went to my NCOs to try and figure out who would go where (which you can already guess: My squad remained my five-strong Command squad, Foaley got First, Reinolds got Second). By the time we were done, it was ten hundred, or ten AM, and the sun had not yet risen. A few of the civilians in Cadence's entourage seemed to be getting nervous, even knowing the sun would rise late.

And honestly, I was nervous too at that point. It didn't help that I'd looked out and saw the Mare In The Moon was missing, but I assumed it must just be an optical illusion or something.

(Interviewer Pegasus: Or were attempting not to admit your sister had been right about a mad lunar goddess being unleashed?)

Yes...there was that. I wasn't the only pony who observed the Mare In The Moon's absence, but thankfully military discipline kept talk about the apocalypse to a minimum. Only one or two suggested making Running Gag a live sacrifice, kidding!

By eleven hundred, I wondered if Cadence may have known more about this phenomenon, and sought out a hoofmaiden.

"Excuse me, ma'am, but where would I find Princess Cadence?"

The unicorn I spoke with named Twinkle Shine; white-coated with a pink mane and blue stars cutie mark. "Oh, Captain! She's, er... Wait, you don't know, do you?"

That wasn't good.

"Know what?" I asked, trying to sound polite. Minuette from before, then approached and answered.

"The Princess... Er, in summer months, she allows herself to sleep until the sun rises."

"...And no one realized this may have been a problem with the known fact of a delayed sunrise?"

"Well, yes, actually. We're instructed to wake her up if the sun hasn't risen by lunch time." Twinkle Shine said brightly.

"Oh! What a relief! I was almost starting to think if the sun does not rise again she'd never wake up."

The hoofmaidens giggled.

"Oh, no, Captain! Not at all!" Twinkle Shine managed to say.

"Ah. Hang on. She decided she wanted a long lie in, didn't she?"

"...She might have."

"Well, please inform the princess when she awakens that I was looking to meet her for lunchtime. Or breakfast... whichever she'd prefer after waking if it's noon."

The two hoofmaidens shared excited glance, like a pair of schoolgirls.

"...It's to discuss security with Commander Shepard," I then finished.

The two hoof maidens looked a little bit pouty at that.

"Er, okay, Captain."

As I was leaving, the sun began to rise.

"Go figure." Twinkle Shine muttered.

"Quite," I agreed. I didn't know why at the time, but that sunrise seemed more beautiful that day for some reason. I guess the slowly creeping fear in my mind that the sun may never rise again may have had something to do with it.

"If you'll wait here I'll see if the princess has awoken, Captain," Minuette then said, entering the room.

I waited with the other hoofmaiden. It had to be my imagination, but I could have sworn I saw the twilight sun sparkle a little in the shape of Princess Celestia as it rose.

"Ah, good morning, Your Highness..."

"Good morning. And Minuette, I've told you before, unless someone is there, it's Cadence, plea... Someone is there, aren't they?"

"Er, yes, Your Highness. Captain Sparkle..."

"Oh, I see. Actually, two things. One, it's okay to call me Cadence if it's just him. And tell him if it's just you and the other hoof maidens he can call me Cadence as well. Er, it is just him, right?"

"Yes, Your... Cadenceness."

"Okay. Two, I was wanting to speak to him, could you send him in please?"

Twinkle Shine seemed to stifle a giggle. I blushed just a little.

"...Right away, Cadence."

Minuette then returned.

"The Princess will see you now, Captain," She said, giving her fellow hoofmaiden a glance.

"Thank you," I said in reply, and awaited the inevitable...

"Oh, and Captain? Cadence would like you to know you can call her Cadence in our company."

"I see, very well," I replied, as they closed the door and began giggling.

"Ah, good morning, Shining..."

"She calls him Shining!" I heard from the door, accompanied by a small but audible squealing noise. And a duet musical number with Twinkle Shine starting, then Minute.

She calls him Shining, do you think there's a chance?

The guard and the princess? Maybe so.

It depends on how it will go

If there's a chance for romance.

Cadence stared at the door as we both blushed, which, unfortunately, was easier to see on white than her natural pink.

"...I have no idea what's got into them. Anyway, Shining, I was wondering if you could maybe bring Corporal Griffen up to my quarters at about lunchtime so you and I could ask him about the Griffin lands."

"Actually, Cadence, the Captain would like to see us both then to look over some security arrangements with Master Chief Spartan."

"Oh. Wait, I thought you were... Oh, ship captain and all that. Sorry, I just woke up. Er, what time is it anyway?"

"Just after eleven AM."

"Huh, and we moved across how many timezones . . . so it's about ... Nearly half a day late for sunrise back in Equestria. I wonder who Auntie was welcoming back anyway... Oh well, I'm sure I'll find out eventually. So, where would I meet you and Commander Shepard?"

"Her ready room. I could come and fetch you when it's time?" I offered.

"That would be good, Shining. Anyway, I've got to get ready. My mane must look a mess..."

I detected she wanted neither a confirmation nor a denial of this claim and bid her farewell until later. I passed the two giggle-stifiling hoofmaidens who finishing up the last verse of their song after I passed...

Do you think there's still a chance?

Well nothing happened yet
But with two years I bet.

There's a chance for romance.

I was happy none of the officers were there to see me be the subject of a cheesy love song with the princess, or else I probably would've died of embarrassment.

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): Wait, that's it? You were in a mare's room right after she just woke up and all you did was talk like a gentlecolt? She asked about her mane and you thought she never wanted a comment?)

What did you expect me to do at that point, declare I really loved her mane? Anyway, after leaving her room...

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): Wait, what was she wearing?!)

Is that really relevant?

(Interviewer's Notes (Earth Pony): Is it?)

(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn): No, it isn't. Please continue, Captain.)

After leaving her room, I then went off to find some of my troopers to see how things were going. I hadn't been speaking to Sergeant Reynolds about his team for ten minutes before the ship's announce system crackled into life and a voice rang out across all decks.

"This is the Captain speaking. Could Commander Sparkle and Princess Cadenza please report to the communications room as soon as possible?"

"...Why do I have a feeling that isn't good?" I found myself muttering.

The Communications Room of the ship was the only place that the anti-teleport wards could be partially dropped. I had been quite close to it when I had been summoned, subsequently finding Commander Shepard speaking to a lieutenant commander.

"Commander Sparkle, this is Lieutenant Commander Bond, my second officer, and chief of communications."

I greeted the unicorn, who didn't have a chance to make his own reply, before an Alicorn came barreling around the corner.

"What's wrong?! It sounded urgent!" Cadence said quickly, and then noticed that three sets of eyes were looking at her in some confusion. Yes she looked worried, what do you think?

"Your Highness, are you aware you have a hairbrush tangled in your mane?" Shepard asked.

"Er, yes. I did think it was urgent..." She was naturally a bit flustered.

"...Your Highness, maybe you had better finish getting ready before we start?" I offered.

"Um, no... Bit late for that now, Captain..." She mumbled.

"I asked you both to attend here as the communications room just received two requests to lower the barrier for urgent messages as soon as the sun came up. One from Canterlot and one from Liberty City."

Cadence gave a small gasp. "I see. Does the Canterlot message possibly explain what was happening last night?"

Shepard replied in the affirmative, as we entered the communications room. A couple of Ensigns saluted, then went back to sorting the mail that had arrived earlier in the morning. It was a small room, with a sealed-off area where scrolls and parcels were sent by magic teleportation. The room also held numerous machines: Radio arrays, a device to translate and transmit Horse Code, and finally, it had a small table with the two messages. One was a Canterlot scroll bearing Princess Celestia's personal seal, the other bearing the seal of Equestria and markings showing it was from a diplomatic mission. Cadence seemed a little reassured at seeing her aunt's seal.

Commander Bond then read the Canterlot scroll. The contents of that letter probably don't need any time spent discussing them, but after the five minutes of surprise and shock...

(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn): Beg your pardon, Capitan, but could you perhaps cover the
aftermath of hearing about those events? I'm interested to see how you reacted to the news it held.)

Very well.

"To the Captain of My Vessel Invincible, to my beloved niece, and her Guard Commander. I am sure you may be curious about some recent events, especially the late sunrise. I informed you there was nothing to worry about, and I was correct. I am delighted to inform you that with the efforts of six brave mares, my sister, Princess Luna, has been returned to us..."

Cadence and I shared a sudden and surprised reaction.

"Sister?!"

"Auntie has a sister?!"

"...Yes, that's about how myself and Commander Bond reacted. It gets better." Shepard noted.

Bond continued.

"Princess Luna, has been returned to us and cured of her long standing illness. You see, a thousand years ago, to my everlasting regret, my little sister was lost. It's difficult for me to explain in detail how, but the most common history of what happened goes something like this: Once upon a time, in the magical land of Equestria, there were two regal sisters who ruled together, and created harmony for all the land... "

"The story of the Mare in the Moon?!" Cadence and I said together.

"...The story that Twilight was worried about yesterday?" Cadence then added, giving me a worried glance.

"Yes, the Mare in the Moon. In hindsight, anyone who read the story should probably have wondered about who the 'regal sisters' were," Bond noted.

"I, er, I asked Auntie about her family, once when I was a filly, but she said that she only had nieces and nephews left in this world. I assumed all her direct relatives were... no longer with us."

"Heh, 'left in this world...' clever wordplay, Your Majesty...." Shepard said.

Cadence then looked a little shaken.

"What is it?" I asked, a little concerned.

"I...I was having strange dreams last night about another Alicorn, nightmares is more like it...I thought I was just having a subconscious reaction to Twilight's worries...then before I woke up, I felt something strange, warm...like something was calling out to me..." she replied, seeming more than a bit confused."

"The rest of the message might shed some light on it, you do represent Harmony, correct?" Bond asked.

Cadence nodded. "Harmony, music, and bonds, yes."

"Please, continue, Mr. Bond," Shepard said.

He proceeded with his story, ending on the Elements of Harmony. Since we both knew the legend, we really should've expected that.

"I must now confess that the six mares who aided in freeing Luna were in fact the new bearers of the Elements of Harmony. A farmer named Applejack, the Element of Honesty."

Before you ask, yes, Lance-Corporal Apple was excited his cousin had helped save the world, after he'd recovered from fainting. Well, excited isn't exactly the word. Proud would be a better term. The Apples are apparently very tight knit, so Applejack saving the world will probably be a matter of great pride to the Apple family for a long time.

"An animal care-taker named Fluttershy, the Element of Kindness. A baker named Pinkie Pie, the Element of Laughter. A dressmaker named Rarity, the Element of Generosity. A loyal weather pegasus named Rainbow Dash, the Element of Loyalty..."

Bond and Shepard then paused to put in ear plugs.

"Er, what are they for?" Cadence asked, but Bond continued.

"And my personal student..."

We both answered Cadence's question by loudly shouting "WHAT?!" I think Cadence may have used the Royal Canterlot Voice accidentally, but I'm not sure, I was too busy trying not to have an aneurysm.

"...My personal student, a unicorn wise beyond her years that Cadence and Shining Armor probably know, Twilight Sparkle, the Element of Magic."

Cadence and I both stood there stunned for a few moments.

"...Element of Magic, eh?" I managed to say, even as a train of though ran through my head, every carriage bearing my little sister faced down the Mare in the Moon, an insane goddess as passengers.

"I... Twilight... What... Captain, we need to turn the ship back! I have to make sure...." Cadence began, but Bond cut her off.

"At this point, my dear niece Cadence might feel tempted to turn the ship around. I am sure Twilight would like to tell you and her B.B.B.F.F. that she and her new friends are all fine, so you should keep going. Cadence, Shining Armor, I regret that you have had to learn of these events in such a manner as this, and for that, I apologize."

Bond paused. We were both silent. No one asked about my nickname. Bond continued.

"I will send you both more detailed personal letters from myself and Twilight later on, but as much as I would like to tell you about your newly returned Aunt, I'm afraid I must go now to get to know my little sister again. It has been a long time since I have seen her, after all, and she has missed much of the progress Equestria has made in the intervening time. Yours Sincerely, Princess Celestia Amaterasu Solaris Equestria."

Silence then fell for a moment, ruined a bit by one of the two ensigns banging a spanner off one of the machines in the room.

"...Ensign, is that the recommended method of maintaining the radio?" Shepard asked.

"It is, actually," Bond replied for the ensign.

"Oh. Carry on, then."

At that point, I was somewhere between internally jumping for joy, pride at being the elder brother of a mare who saved the entire world, fainting from shock, and imagining the likely priceless look on the faces of Prince Blueblood and anyone else who had ever belittled and/or bullied Twilight at that very moment. The fainting idea felt the most inviting.

"...There was a second scroll, I believe?" Cadence eventually said.

"Yes. It's quite a bit shorter but perhaps more worrying..."

"Look, Commander, Captain, I'm sorry, but if I could be brutally honest, I can't imagine what could at this moment worry me more than having just learned my little sister was involved in some sort of battle with an insane goddess!"

In hindsight, there are in fact a lot of things more worrying, especially given that Nightmare Moon didn't seem out to kill any of her 'new subjects.' Except those who 'got in her way,' I'd learn. In fact, forget hindsight, it was still worrying! But this was one occasion where what I said about thinking about things like that immediately blew up in my face.

"...Our ambassador in Liberty City reports that a Hooviet ship on a diplomatic mission arrived there an hour ago, and asked her directly if they could meet with Princess Cadence as soon as she has arrived and is ready," Bond said quickly.

I blinked for a few seconds.

"Okay, that's a pretty good thing that's perhaps a little bit less worrying," I conceded.

Cadence looked at us all in brief bewilderment before she spoke.

"Alright, I've got to ask now. This isn't the first time I've seen Guardsponies act strange the second the Hooviets are mentioned. You'd think they were collectively worse than the Mare in the... Oh, that metaphor doesn't really work any more does it..."

"From here on out, you might want to try substituting 'The Great Destroyer'. Griffin myth, a strange being with godlike powers that once ruled a foreign land and then ravaged their own lands for amusement," Bond advised.

"...Never heard of it, Bond," Shepard said.

"Me neither," I added

"...You two?" He asked the ensigns, who shook their heads.

"Well, the point is, you act like they're some huge problem or issue. Why is that?" She pressed on.

"Your Highness, what have you been told of the Hooviet Empire?" Commander Shepard inquired.

"Authoritarian one-party state where the lower classes are virtual slaves, frequently saber-rattlers, frequently tries to turn any diplomatic discussion to their advantage, tries to exert influence in other nations, and Equestria is currently on peaceful terms with them. They fought a war with dragons I did not want to learn more about. I know it's not exactly a happy land of gumdrops and rainbows, but that doesn't mean we have to be all... paranoid the second we mention their name. It's not like they're Lord Voldehorse."

She then gave a small and triumphant grin at having figured out a decent metaphor.

"A modern metaphor for a modern Princess. Fitting, Your Highness," Bond said.

"Quite. The issue, Your Highness, is not necessarily their ideology or how they run their country, but more their conduct abroad. They present a severe security hurdle as we were unaware they would be present, and no doubt they are present because of you. In fact, a great many other nations likely sent their own entourages. This presents an excellent opportunity for the Hooviets to test us."

"So they'll make some snippy remarks, maybe have a junior officer pick a fight with Shini.. er, Captain Sparkle or his troopers. What else are we worried they'll do, leave a bag of burning dog poop on the doorstep of the embassy?"

"Yes, actually. That and break in, possibly trying to take a few pictures of you sleeping, then mail copies to the Canterlot tabloids," I said.

Cue the whole room raising its collective eyebrow at me.

"It nearly happened once before to Princess Celestia!" I pointed out. Thankfully, they'd found Celestia wide awake (you don't live over a thousand years by being a heavy sleeper) who offered them tea and politely told them how easily this could turn into an international incident should she reveal it to the public (and that she now had their hoof prints on her tea cups to prove they'd been there). Needless to say, it gave us a little leverage in negotiation after that. Celestia may be genuinely benevolent, what's behind that pretty face can be scary sometimes.

"Yes, He does have a point. They could just as easily leave something behind to send the message that they broke through, or worse, actually do something," Bond agreed.

"Would they seriously risk being caught doing something like that?" Cadence wondered. "You'd think they'd be afraid of having my aunt, well, BOTH my aunts, enraged at them for threatening my safety."

"Your Highness, this is a nation that went to war against Dragons. I doubt there isn't anything they'd risk."

Cadence nodded at that.

"So what do you know about this Hooviet clash against the Dragons?"

"That it was violent and a lot of deer and dragons were killed in the fighting."

"That's probably enough for you to know in dealing with the Hooviets. It's almost enough for us too, except we have to remember one extra thing, don't we, Commander Sparkle?"

I sighed.

"Yes. The Hooviets don't care what they lose in regards to achieving objectives. They took much heavier losses than the dragons, lost territory and treasure instead of gaining any, territory they held onto was razed black, their air-fleet was made a crippled mess, and had to pay a tribute to Queen Tiamat to keep her from razing their capital to the ground personally. And they took it as a learning experience to try again later! If they want to do something, odds are good they'll be ready to try it by force even in the face of disaster."

Funny I said that really...

"Perhaps I should keep that in mind if I enter a discussion with any Hooviets. And if they want the last sandwich at the snack table to let them take it..." Cadence then said.

"Perhaps. Anyway, I think that's all for now, Princess. If we receive any further messages we'll let you know. But since we're almost all here, perhaps I can have the Master Chief come and meet us in my ready room to discuss security arrangements..."

And that's precisely what happened next. We brought the meeting, previously delayed until after lunch, back forward. Quite boring really, and probably not worth your time, so shall we move on?

Episode 85: (Shining Armor): yrotisH-History

Pony POV Series
Shining Armor Part 4
By lz0291
Edited by Alex Warlorn, Kendell2, And Louis Badalament.

(Inteviewer's Notes (Unicorn): Captain, before we continue I wonder if you could possibly clarify the details of the Dragon-Hooviet war. I know that not many ponies in Equestria have heard anything about it.)

And it might not be a bad idea for it to stay that way.

(Inteviewer's Notes (Unicorn): Please, Shinning?)

... Very well. I should stress most of what we've heard came from the Dragons but, unlike the Hooviets, I don't think they would have any reason to lie. Queen Tiamat repeated the story in my presence, actually, when she and Princess Celestia were discussing adjustments to the truce between Dragons and Equestria. Don't ask how Princess Celestia kept that chat private. It was surreal watching the mother of all dragons and our Princess have a polite conversation over tea (Tiamat's 'teacup' being bigger than some houses. Plus, the sugar cubes were as large as shipping crates, and I wish I'd learned the name of the company that makes darjeeling teabags in that size...)

Anyway, The Hooviet Empire had expanded immensely over the last century or so, and with it, the Hooviets' narcissism. Virtually nothing had ever truly stood in their path, at least in their minds. Once, at an earlier point in history, the Hooviets begun rattling the saber against Princess Celestia hoping to goad Equestria into a war. The Princess instead sent a message to the Hooviets writing about how she preferred peace to war and just how many favors of how many nations she had built up over her several thousand year reign along with a cake as a gift of friendship. Somehow, they were able to construe this as having scored a victory of sorts over her. This allowed them to back away from the unwinnable fight against our Sun Goddess with their egos intact.

They thought the whole world would bow to them eventually, and they did not think Dragons were exempt. And so, about thirty or so years ago, they somehow decided that the Dragons nesting in a mountain range in the center of their lands were now Hooviet citizens - and thus, Hooviet property. Then they demanded the Dragons pledge allegiance to the Hooviet powers, allow mining operations to take place, relinquish their hoards, submit to taxation and reeducation of their young, etcetera, etcetera.

To the Hooviets, that made perfect sense. Even a young Dragon's hoard represented a source of huge wealth, and Dragons are renowned for being individualistic. That a number of them were in close proximity in the mountains made the Hooviets think the mountains held something very good indeed. After all, adult Dragons stayed away from each other unless they wished to breed or it was the once-a-century Great Dragon Migration. And while a lone Dragon is an army unto itself, the Hooviets assured themselves the Dragons didn't have the sense of cooperation to bake a cake, let alone fight a war. Numbers would win the day.

They failed to take one vital factor into account: Her Majesty, the Goddess-Queen Tiamat. The world's most powerful Dragon. The Alicorn Sisters are only living beings I know that have earned Tiamat's respect -- yet her own personal stockpile of gems and gold is rather spartan compared to most other Dragons. This is because Tiamat's true treasure, as far as she's concerned, is nothing less than all Dragonkind, itself. Every Dragon alive was her subject, and therefore, her treasure. I have no idea how Celestia acquired Spike's egg, but I know one thing: she sure as Pony Hell didn't steal it.

Few things can enrage a dragon more than thievery. And while dragons were isolationist to their own kind, and the distance between most adult dragons could fit small countries, when Her Majesty spoke, ALL Dragons listened.

It lasted a week. Tiamat's call was answered by nearly half of Dragonkind. In less than twelve hours, they swept past the border defenses that a national equine army could besiege for months without success. And so began a week of bloodshed and slaughter in the skies and soil of the southern Hooviet Empire.

The Hooviets would go on to lose more in that week than they had in their efforts to bring all Deer tribes under one banner. Countless lives lost, hundreds of Airships destroyed, whole towns and cities rendered into so many mounds of ash - buildings and citizens alike.

Their fiery breath made short work of armor on ships, and of stonework in castles and forts. Often the young dragons would gleefully take relaxing baths in the molten slag that had once been a garrison of five thousand Deer soldiers.

Yet the Dragons hit upon a problem. The Hooviets simply did not give up and threw everything into the battle. It had gone beyond a question of resources now; this was about revenge. The Hooviets were angry, not at their losses, but at the fact someone had dared to stand against them. Attacked them. For the Hooviets, the dragons were already dead, the great lizards just didn't know it.

But these were not idealistic school-fawns leading slaves against professional soldiers, nor were they outdated, outnumbered warrior bucks defending their deer tribe from the Hooviet's greedy clutches. These were forces of nature clad in scales and claws. And they too had egos that would inflict untold suffering for being so badly bruised.

The Hooviet's pulled in all its reserves and even dared pull back some of its occupation forces. The land and sky of the southern part of the Hooviet Empire became a firestorm. Many younger, impetuous Dragons thought they could take on fleets of ships alone, head on, and suffered for it. Any that lived never repeated the mistake.

Even older Dragons, with thick scales that made them stronger than a castle, fell. They could shrug off swords, spears, arrows, even direct hits with cannonballs, but if they were hit in weak spots like the eyes or a roaring mouth, they would fall too. Broadsides from battleships could fell them if enough hit home. And then there was always the risk of simply being overwhelmed by Hooviet numbers and firepower; a death comparable to being stung to death by legions of hornets.

And so the losses wound up too great for the Dragons. Their sense of unity was fragile enough. Dissension grew in the ranks: many Dragons came to blows with each other over all sorts of friction: stealing treasures, stealing kills, or simply getting in the way of each other. Dragons actually began tearing into each other right on the battlefield with the enemy surrounding them while the Hooviets maintained their machine like discipline and efficiency.

In the end, all the Dragons decided they'd done enough and wanted to just go home. Then Queen Tiamat herself entered the fray. It shocked every dragon to their core. Queen Tiamat, the legend herself, coming all this way? Raising a claw to help her dragons personally? That, more than anything, convinced the dragons to stay the course. For the remainder of the war, Tiamat never set foot on the battlefield. She didn't need to. She did (and has) unparalleled endurance as a flier. But that wasn't why she didn't need to enter the actual battle zone. She also has five heads, all of which are capable of shooting fireballs at a range, accuracy, and deadliness that exceeded those of any Hooviet weapon at the time.

The Dragons didn't dare fight among themselves with a silhouette like hers blotting out the sun on the horizon. And all five of her heads were equally smart, fearless, and committed to victory.

(Inteviewer's Notes (Pegasus): For the record, do Tiamat's heads have individual egos? And if so, did they ever argue between themselves?

In answer to your first question: yes. In answer to your second question: no. Sneak attacks failed. Kamikazes were wasted. To say it was like a Neighponese 'giant monster' show is the understatement of the century. Tiamat made a viable tsunami of destruction far ahead of her, wherever she flew. The Hooviet commanders were shocked at having an enemy they could destroy them without even providing them a viable target.

By the time she'd reached the Hooviet capitol, her envoys were demanding a king's ransom for every dragon that had been slain. Entire museums were stripped clean to meet the tribute.

After claiming her mountain of spoils, (and eating the bomb they'd buried within like it was pop-rocks), Tiamat simply left. The dragons hastily followed.

Both sides claimed victory.

(Inteviewer's Notes (Earth Pony): What?! How could the HOOVIETS claim victory?!

The Hooviets... well, they happily buried their heads in the sands of propaganda. Suddenly, the South had been dragon lands from the beginning. Suddenly, the Dragons had been the ones to attack unprovoked. Suddenly, invaders had been repelled, not a force seeking to liberate and protect allies.

(Inteviewer's Notes (Unicorn): And the priceless treasures the dragons had seized?

Overrated relics, to hear it from the Hooviets. Out with those worthless, six-hundred year old trash 'masterpieces!' In with new work of fresh young artists!

And so, the earth that the Dragons had scorched became 'captured' land: a new frontier for settlers! And the few surviving witnesses outside the military or the ruling castes with a DIFFERENT story to tell, could be easily taken care of by the Secret Police.

(Interviewer's Notes (Earth Pony): But the Dragons were the REAL winners, right?

Beyond question! They had inflicted massive damage on their cervine foe. To this day, the Hooviets dare not return to the Mountains for fear of upsetting the Dragons again. The Deer are still rebuilding. Over half their fleet was destroyed. The only reason their capitol was is not a blazing crater is because Tiamat prefers treasures to kills. Such losses would have annihilated any other nation. By all natural rights, the Hooviets should have fallen. Therefore, they absolutely could not allow themselves to have lost.

In a way, that's what makes the Hooviets worrying. Dragons, well, no need to understand why they're worrying. The Hooviet-Dragon war simply reminded us, yet again, that Dragons are powerful and we're very glad to not be on their bad side. But on the flip side, the war shows the Hooviets were determined, fanatical, and worst of all, ready to take any risk.

Probably the worst thing though in my view? It's something my tutors at the academy said when teaching history and tactics. 'Generals always plan to fight the last war again.'

The modern Hooviets have rebuilt their new forces on the assumption it needs to be able to take on Dragons, scratch that, Tiamat herself! They'll have fully recovered very soon and have completely reorganized their military style and command structure. If they think they're really ready to take on all of Dragonkind, they just might decide to subjugate everything else first, just to make it that much easier. And an army built to take on Tiamat I'd rather avoid.

And that's it really. Back to the real story now, please?

(Inteviewer's Notes (Unicorn): Yes, of course. Thank you for your summary of events... Captain.)

Once our discussions on security were concluded, and Cadence had agreed to have the civilians with us escorted by Guards if they ever left the embassy or ships to visit the city proper, Cadence decided she wanted to speak to Corporal Griffen during lunch. After that, we were supposed to be telling the civilians what to expect, informing them of security arrangements, and so on.

"Which means we kind of need to speak to him now, if we want anything he might know," Cadence stated. I made arrangements for Griffen to attend.

She allowed both Griffen and I to have our lunch brought to her room, accidentally starting a rumor that the Princess anticipated a lot of fish on the menu in Columbia when the cooks were asked to prepare a slice of fish-in-birdseed-breadcrumb. While we waited on it, though, we began discussing.

"So, Corporal, we were hoping you could maybe give us some direct experience with the Griffin lands..." Cadence began. For a half-eagle half-lion, the NCO looked remarkably sheepish.

"Er, sorry, ma'am, but all I really know is from my parents, aunt, and uncle. I was born in Trottenham."

Both of us failed to hide the brief glare of shock and dismay.

"But I don't really follow Hoofball!" He added quickly.

"Well, it should be enough," Cadence collected herself, "Well, is there anything you CAN tell us, in terms of what to expect?"

"Hm. My mother used to say she thought Equestrians were a bit more polite and friendly than folks back in Columbia. And she was always a little surprised Equestria didn't have police - not dedicated police, at least. The Guard and Sheriffs are all that's needed."

Quick note for those who may be unaware, that's all that's in smaller towns, but the Royal Guard provide patrols and response to any problems in large cities, in what we call the 'Community Support Initiative'. Usually, it's conducted in support of a Sheriff and his or her deputies, but larger cities generally have at least one Guard officer on a long term detachment to the civil authorities, and often the ones that get a bit of a reputation for being a little strange. One CSI officer in Miamhay for instance, keeps making one liners and putting on sunglasses. I am fully convinced he is related to Running Gag.

"I know of them, the Liberty City Police Department is actually larger than law enforcement throughout Equestria, technically," Cadence said.

"Yes. That's the other thing. There's dangerous crime in Griffin lands, not just cake thieves. So if anyone goes out of the embassy they might want a guard..."

"We've anticipated that," I said.

"Oh, I see, Sir. I'm not saying they'll get robbed if they go outside, but Equestrians would probably look like easy targets to your average Liberty City mugger. It's not all bad though. Liberty has a good metro system, lot like Canterlot's, sort of, kinda. Supposed to be some nice parks and museums, Broadneigh shows are pretty famous. The buildings are taller, but I think there are less flight restrictions across LC outside of the Air Harbors and Airship paths. Really, I think the best thing to expect would be Equestria, but different and with more Griffins. And Diamond Dogs. Some Deer as well. Oh, and Zebra."

"What about Minotaurs?" Cadence wondered

"Mostly in Carcer City or in the Marines, Ma'am."

"So, Equestria with more of a melting pot diversity. I presume that finding pony food won't be a problem if anyone wants to sample the local fare?"

"A problem? Pretty unlikely, Sir. My uncle keeps trying to convince me to visit just to have a genuine Liberty City pizza. Keeps complaining his daughter's never tried the real thing either since she was raised in Cloudsdale. But vegetarians are seen as quirky, rather than deviants like meat-eaters are in Equestria. Anyway, I guess the only other thing is that Liberty has more carts on the roads I think. Some of them are even magic-powered."

"Okay, so... Equestria, but different and more crowded," I nodded.

"Sounds to me like Liberty is going to be Manehattan on steroids," Cadence noted.

We hoped that after lunch, we'd be briefing the civilians, and then soon after, arriving at Liberty City for about a fourteen-thirty hours' landing, and being settled in at the embassy for four. The first part went well enough - many of them were civil servants, and the rest were mostly part of Cadence's rather small entourage of hoofmaidens, dressmakers and so on.

Apparently at least half of our civilian entourage were only there because the nobility were surprised to learn she'd never had a personal tennis coach and so forth. She'd swiftly convinced the two chefs to simply work with the existing cooks aboard, which was fine by all concerned. Dealing with the civvies was simple enough. The odd question was asked and answered where possible with Griffen's help. In the end, the civvies all knew the score. They were to move in groups, let the embassy security know where they were, and would be escorted by at least one of our troopers and a local police officer. And were advised by Griffen about various useful social cues to watch out for when it came to Griffins. And told any steaks or meat products they saw was not from any intelligent being.

Overall, things seemed to be going fine. We were on track to arrive, no crisis had affected the journey,though I was still a little wary of the fact my little sister was apparently in control of a powerful magical artifact and had fought a goddess, I don't know if it's a good or bad thing if Princess Celestia lets her keep it. And it sounded like the Griffin land we were heading for wasn't going to be too huge a culture shock, Hooviets notwithstanding. I simply made last-minute checks while I waited.

And yes, it probably is genetic. But it's served us both in good stead.

Naturally things went a bit pear-shaped about five minutes after we'd finished speaking to the civilians.

"This is the Captain speaking. Could Commander Sparkle and Princess Cadenza please report to the bridge as soon as possib... Oh, hello, Your Highness. Erm, how did the hair brush get there this time?"

A few moments later, I arrived at the bridge to find Commander Shepard and her senior bridge crew all present (Her First Officer, Lieutenant Commander Hornblower, plus Lieutenant Commander Bond), along with Cadence, Sunset, Twinkleshine, and Minuette. Cadence was at that moment being aided by her hoofmaidens, who were trying to untangle an unexpected hairbrush from her mane. The two Lieutenant Commanders were speaking with ensigns and lieutenants.

"Commander Sparkle. We have a small problem. We've been in communication with the Columbians, and they've informed us that it's unlikely we'll be able to land in our prearranged time-slot. Apparently the Hooviet arrival was somewhat unannounced..." Shepard said.

"Isn't that a little bit -ow, stop tugging! - dangerous?" Cadence asked.

"Very much so, but the arrival of the Hooviets was known to Columbians. The size of their ships was not." Hornblower said. He was an Earth Pony officer, and somehow I kept thinking he should have had a beard.

"They had more ships with them than they said were coming?" I put in.

"Not quite. The Hooviets were honest when they said they were sending three ships. But it's a battleship and two cruisers," Bond then clarified.

"Okay, so, they had to find bigger landing spaces for them. Why is that a problem for us?" Cadence spoke.

"Because apparently, whoever is in charge of the Hooviets is a big shot. Supreme Marshal of the Imperial Armed Forces, General-Admiral Solomon Azure Raven Makarov. He demanded, and received, a full military welcome. Which meant that most of the Griffin airships helping control the traffic in the bay had to wait an hour while his ships floated slowly between them all," Shepard said.

"Ah. I understand we were supposed to receive a smaller greeting by the Columbian Navy?" Cadence said.

"Correct. We were supposed to fly between two battleships straight to our airship docks. However, they're now trying to get that back into position and the rest of the traffic in the area has cause a bit of a jam."

I frowned.

"How can you get into a jam with airships?"

"It's quite simple, Commander. The Griffins prefer all ships approaching the city to enter Liberty Bay, past the Wings of Liberty..."

"The what?"

"Really big statue like in Manehatten."

"Oh."

"So it meaning everyone has to enter the same relatively narrow area. They're also all dropping in height with a goal to landing at that point, so there's only so much real room for the ships," Hornblower explained.

"Ah. Essentially, it's like having three pegasi fly right above another one and all three of them reach and they all try to enter the same tunnel at once."

"Something like that."

"So, what are we to do then, Captain?" Cadence asked.

"Well, Your Highness..."

"Yes! Got the hairbrush out!"

"...Your Highness, what we will have to...."

"Wait, this isn't even my hairbrush."

"...We will have to wait for traffic ahead to clear. Now, we can send on most of the delegation using our shuttles, so they can start to prepare the embassy, but I'm afraid you have to remain aboard until the Griffins are ready for us to receive the proper welcome," the Ship's Captain eventually managed to finish.

"...Oh, er, sorry about interrupting. What was that about shuttles?"

"The ship carries two of them at present, and our escort ships each carry another. The five shuttles should be able to get the delegation and the majority of Commander Sparkle's troopers on shore for our time of arrival. As they're smaller, they can go between gaps. We should be about ten minutes from meeting a Griffin AAC, the Galactica, and they'll..."

Shepard paused as a hoofmaiden raised a hoof.

"Erm, sorry, Captain, but what's an AAC?" Minuette asked.

"Airborne Airship Carrier. Basically, a large Airship that carries smaller Airships. Fairly new concept, actually. Most other airships just carried small shuttle transports before, having a capital ship dedicated to carrying patrol and attack craft is..."

Shepard realized everyone who was not a member of the Air Navy was looking at her in confusion. She sighed.

"A capital ship is a large ship, like a battleship. Patrol craft and attack craft are small airships ranging in size from about a train carriage to a small house. They're meant to help defend larger ships, or be used to attack other ships. You all know about the shuttles, right?"

Everypony nodded.

"So, we'll send everyone but me and a few of Shining Armor's troopers on ahead when we meet the Griffin carrier thingy, and then wait for a spot to be seated or parked or docked or whatever it is?" Cadence then asked.

"That's about the size of it."

"Alright. Girls, you three all go on ahead and get the embassy ready."

The hoofmaidens nodded and dashed off.

"I'll have my crew explain the situation to the civilians for now and what's to happen, but once we're getting closer, I'm afraid you may be needed on the bridge, Your Highness. There's a large number of ships going to be waiting and a few of them might want to shout out to you," Shepard said.

"...Pardon?"

"It means they'll send the ship a message and want to speak to you over the radio. We'll also use their position to help other ships know ours to reference it," Bond added.

"Okay. But it does look pretty clear up ahead...." Cadence noted.

"It does, actually. Mostly clouds. I can't see any airships..."

"That's because they're beyond our visual range right now. In about twenty minutes we'll be amongst them."

And indeed, twenty minutes later, we were among them. About a hundred airships all floating in the air, awaiting patiently for permission to move towards the city that lay just a few miles away. We could see the vast expanse of grey buildings and cloud-structures stretching on the horizon now, with many more airships floating close to the grey line that was the city. Presently, the Galactica had spotted us, and was the first ship to send us a message.

"HHS Invincible, this is the URS Galactica. We presently have a visual on your flotilla, acknowledge?" The radio said.

"Acknowledged, Galactica, we have a visual on you also," Commander Bond replied as he and an ensign oversaw communications.

The bridge also had radios, but only the Communications Room could receive long-ranged transmissions. Anything from there could be sent up to the Bridge easily enough, though. And in this case, the bridge had the right radios to talk to a ship that was less than a thousand meters away.

"Notice, Your Highness and Gentlecolts, that Galactica has a number of rectangular sections along her port and starboard sides. Those are the hangar decks." Hornblower was telling us random trivia about the ships.

"A carrier for Pegasi air-troops would be more economic than baby airships for bigger airships," Cadence said.

By this point, I'd had my command squad of Thunderchild, Apple, and the other two idiots come up to be Cadence's bodyguard, apparently because the Air Navy insisted that Princesses not go unescorted on the bridge during complicated operations. I'd later learn it stemmed from an accident back in the days of a sea-based navy caused by a Princess who should shall remain ambiguous due to it being over a thousand years ago.

In her defense, the modern historians do agree the lighthouse did in fact come out of nowhere. Mostly because the charts of the time somehow claimed it was on the other side of the country, or somepony just read them upside down. Said Princess isn't talking.

"What's that in the ocean, there? The big star-shaped thing..." Private Audience wondered.

"Ah, yes. That's very interesting. That's a Seaborne Ship Tender, also called a 'Base Star'. The Cylon, if I'm not mistaken. They must have had it float out here in case any of the waiting ships needed an emergency dock."

Cylon looked like it was a large surface ship, able to land airships up to about the size of a destroyer on the flat central portion, and extend four long piers to allow more ships to land. When we saw her, she was almost entirely empty other than a few small patrol craft.

"A floating portable dock for airships? That's unusual, isn't it?"

"The Columbian navy is, Your Highness. You may not notice it, but there's a small dark shape under the water just aft of Cylon? That's what they call a 'submarine'. It's a sailing vessel able to go under the sea..."

I tuned out as he began speaking, seeing a number of small ships leaving Galactica and heading towards us. A few minutes later, our shuttles began flying off, escorted by a pair of Griffin patrol craft each.

"Well, there the pretty ladies go. Off to get to the embassy well before the rest of us..." Apple noted.

"You think it's going to be a long wait now, Lance-Corporal, wait until you have to go to the Hooviet Embassy..." Thunderchild reminded him as Bond turned towards us.

"All the shuttles are away, and they shouldn't need to make a return trip. We got everyone on comfortably."

"Good. We really should invest in cubic soldiers, much easier to stack..." I replied.

"Anyway, Commander Sparkle, your sergeants will probably communicate once they're at the Embassy. But for now, well... We wait for the radio to go, I guess."

"And play 'I Spy' presumably?" Cadence noted.

"I spy something beginning with B," Shepard said in response.

"Blooming loads of Airships."

"Correct, Your Highness."

"So, what ships are out there anyway?" I asked Hornblower, since he seemed to be the one in the know.

"I could probably name most of them, but I'll try and keep it brief. That one just over there is the Mexicoltian Destroyer Nezahualcoyotl. They're probably going to try and chat with us sooner or later. And there's a Neighponese flotilla just over there, behind Galactica. That ought to be the destroyer Takeshi-Jo , Frigates Mirai and Hikari..."

"Wait, are we going to to have to shout out to all of these ships in front of us?" Cadence then cut in.

"Oh, no, ma'am. Just about half of them. They won't want long conversations, just a hello, how are you, and so on," Bond replied.

"There's a lot of civilian ships by the look of things," Running Gag spoke up.

"Hey, isn't that one flying our flag? That big brownish-red one?"

"Hm, so it is. That's the Forever Autumn, she's a ferry between Manehattan and Liberty. She should have been given priority. Traffic must really be in chaos up ahead..."

"I bet that's their fault, those two big ships way off in the distance," I added, seeing two vast hulking airships a couple of miles away.

"Yes, in a way. Those are Reaper-class battleships, Sovereign and Harbinger. We'll be seeing them up close when we fly between them."

"They look like they could run over us and not notice," Thunderchild added his two bits.

"They could, actually." A social pony, Shepard was not.

"So where's the Hooviet battleship? Surely we'd see it..." Cadence wondered. She had a point.

Hornblower frowned.

"You know, I don't think I see it either. Maybe that gold building there is blocking it off. That huge one about twice the size of... Oh."

"What's 'oh,' Commander Hornblower?"

"I think the gold thing is the Hooviet ship."

It dwarfed some of the office buildings. Along the vast airship's sides were engravings of deer does in classic statuesque poses. I couldn't shake the demented thought it looked like the world's largest fliable gold brick.

"Private Gag, I hope you do not have anything inappropriate to say whilst the Princess is here," I said as the bridge fell silent.

"I do not, sir."

"Is it just me or does that thing really look like someone is compensating for something?" A voice suddenly asked.

"Who the buck was that?!" Shepard barked, and then realized her error as someone began sputtering.

"Er, me, Captain."

"Oh. Er, that's all right then, Your Highness. Commander Hornblower, are you all right?"

"Just a ticklish throat, Captain."

"Misfit Actual, this is Misfit One-One." The radio crackled, distracting us from the royal... vehicle. I'm not sure how best to phrase it.

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): Item of anatomical humor?)

...That sounds even worse.

(Interviewer's Notes (Earth Pony): What-humor?)

Why do you have a foal here as an interviewer? Not that she's not cute, but war is kind of...grown up stuff.

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): She has nowhere else to be.)

(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn): Where we go, she goes.)

... Anyway, the voice on the radio was Sergeant Foaley. Or it was until I bumped into it and briefly set it to a local rock station (Griffin music of all genres tends to be pretty intense. If anyone was asleep on their feet, that woke them up). Once that had been fixed, I spoke.

"Misfit One-One, Misfit Actual, go ahead."

"Sir, we've landed at the embassy, and there's something you should know before the Princess lands..."

There was suddenly a loud clatter from the other radio.

"Ramirez! Pick up that dropped luggage!"

"He's still making that poor fellow do everything?" Thunderchild sighed.

"As I was saying, Sir, I thought you and Her Highness should know that the Griffins have decided they want to add some extra security to our embassy. Apparently, they only had a few members of a group called the Presidential Marshals here alongside our own security ponies. They want to add a squad of their Marines onto it as well, with your permission."

"Stand by, Sergeant, I'll discuss the matter with Her Highness."

I turned to Cadence, muting the radio. Or rather, having Bond mute it since he was the one who knew how it worked.

"What do you think? Should we trust the Columbians?"

"It sounds a bit like they want to make sure we're feeling safe. After all, our embassy here isn't too far from a few others. On the other hoof, it does seem a little worrying they don't trust their own security. Ask Foaley if any other Marines are being offered to other embassies."

I did so.

"Yes, Sir. The Germane Embassy next door has some, the Mexicolts have okayed it, and the Hooviets have declined an offer."

"Oh. Well, then, I suppose it's not us getting any special treatment. Sergeant, will the Marines be escorting any of our party if they venture into the city on their own?"

"Negative, Your Highness, they say the LCPD will be in charge of that."

"Well then, I have no objections. Do you, Commander Sparkle?"

"None. Carry on, Sergeant." Personally, I felt it was a good idea. Not only did it have more people on guard, it also had another advantage. I don't have any political aspirations, but I knew one thing for sure; politics was like a game of chess. Every move you made said something about you. Accepting the Columbians' offer showed we trusted the Griffins. The Hooviets being apparently the only ones to reject that same offer showed a lack of trust, or potentially that they had something to hide. It might seem small, but...

(Interviewer (Unicorn): Every small detail can make a big difference?)

Exactly, particularly when you were the guests of honor in another country.

The sergeant ended the transmission, and Shepard spoke.

"They're adding military guards when before they just had the Federal Police as security. I'm thinking something must be up. Maybe they're a little spooked by the Hooviets..."

"Or maybe they know something might be a problem for us. Maybe they're sending the Marines to other embassies to make it look like they're not trying to defend us specifically...." I then said, with a hint of paranoia.

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): Gee, Captain, I'd like to taste something you think has a 'hint' of salt in it. I've never got salt-drunk in one bite before.)

"Uh, ma'ams? Sirs? What about the late sunrise this morning?" Private Gag then asked.

"What about it?" Cadence responded.

"Well, we all knew it might have been late. But... did the Griffins? Or anyone else?"

We all pondered what we knew of Princess Celestia.

"Unless we get any other evidence to support the other theories, I think that's this mystery's concluded," I said.

We did eventually find our larger ships heading for a docking space, passing between the two Columbian battleships, as well as over the vast bulk of the Hooviet ship on the way. We learned she was called the Daedalus. She had two smaller steel-colored ships alongside her,looking like tiny pebbles beside a massive diamond.

As we made our approach to the battleships, Pegasi guards attached a banner over the front of our airship with a symbol of a Hippogriff promptly displayed. When peace was declared between the Griffins and Ponies, much deliberation resulted in a Hippogriff being chosen as the symbol of that peace. Displaying it as a diplomatic airship one entered the other's territory was considered a sign of good will. The landing zone we'd be heading to would likely have a similar banner displayed.

And we got to see the massive city up close. It had towers of stone and glass that made Manehattan's lofty heights look tiny. Many taller buildings had cloud-structures floating beside them, and the inner city skies seemed to be filled with griffins and a few pegasi flying between buildings.

The Princess and my squad would be the only ones to actually get off the ship at this point, with Commander Shepard and her senior crew mostly remaining with the ship unless summoned.

As our ships landed, I became aware that there seemed to be a large number of green-dyed Griffins in the air and ground. There even seemed to be a couple of the siege engines known as tanks lying near the airship docks. It seemed the locals wanted to put on a show for the visitors. Because the troops present certainly weren't there to try and stop the local media. The hapless Griffins dyed blue that I assumed to be the police had that task.

"...Okay, is it me or do the journalists outnumber the police?" Thunderchild asked.

We managed to get past them, mostly by having my squad surround the Princess as we walked. Cadence did pause to answer a couple of questions for the local media though. She knew how to play that game, she was a trained ambassador, after all. I was paying more attention to the group of journalists, though. Something was making me feel on edge.

We rode a carriage to the embassy, leaving the media behind for the moment. It was a conventional pony-drawn carriage, hauled by four members of the Day Guard attached to the embassy. The LCPD detective that rode in with us wasn't too chatty with us soldiers (he did seem a bit constipated, to be honest), but Cadence managed to have a conversation with him. I personally at that point was glad I wasn't a Griffin. It's bad enough to have the family name Payne, but then you get called Max? And you don't have a legal right to change your name when you get your cutie mark because Griffins don't have them? Yikes.

(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn): Did you change your name when you gained your cutie mark, Captain?)

No, I didn't, actually. Seems Mother is a little bit prescient.

Anyway, we arrived, our embassy being a relatively small apartment complex in the uptown area, given over to the Equestrian Government, flying both the Equestrian flag and the aforementioned Hippogriff banner, and Cadence greeted her hoofmaidens again. The Ambassador, Lady Warm Greetings, was also present, of course. I didn't actually speak much with Ambassador Greetings while I was there though, as she largely worked the behind-the-scenes political detail whilst the Princess was present. My only real conversation with her was about my uncle, since she had apparently attended the School for Gifted Unicorns with him until he moved into the Guard Academy.

"Anyway, Ambassador, have we heard anything further from the Hooviets?" Cadence eventually asked.

"Yes. General-Admiral Makarov has decided to hold an informal party in his embassy this evening and would like you to attend, if possible. He says it would begin at half past seven."

"And he would know I couldn't politely refuse. Looks like we'll have to have a quick dinner..."

"Indeed. Oh, one other thing, Princess Cadence. Regarding Princess Luna."

"Oh yes! How is my new, er, old Aunt doing?"

"While Princess Celestia has formally assured the world at large that the late sunrise was nothing to be alarmed about, Princess Luna, herself, has yet to be officially announced. Her Majesty has sent word to me, saying she'd appreciate it if we refrained from mentioning her at this point in time."

"I understand. Did Aunt Celestia give any indication as to when she does intend to open up about Aunt Luna?"

"Why, yes. Tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" I said, raising an eyebrow. "Today's bad, but tomorrow's good?"

"Politics, like comedy, is often about careful timing," Cadence informed me.

"Well spoken, Your Highness." Ambassador Greetings said. "As a matter of fact, Princess Celestia has requested that you, Cadence, be the one to inform the Columbian President-Elect tomorrow. He will be the first world leader to formally learn about your other aunt..."

I walked alongside them, as did the rest of my squad and the hoofmaidens, until we reached Cadence's room. Two Griffin Marines in dark blue dress uniforms stood in the corridor there, with small crossbows in holsters on their chests, alongside a couple of other Royal Guards that seemed to be Day Guard attached to the Embassy as they certainly weren't mine. They all ignored us completely.

"Captain, could you please ready dress uniforms for your squad to attend the Hooviet party tonight as our guard escort?" Cadence asked, as she entered her room.

"Certainly, ma'am," I replied.

She thanked me, and then the door was closed.

And then Gag pointed out a problem.

"Sir, enlisted ponies don't have Dress uniforms."

"...Anyone know where we can get lots of armor polish then?"

Have any of you three ever attended the Grand Galloping Gala? I have, as a guard. I was only not bored stiff because I wasn't a guest and, well, the last time I was there Thunderchild gave us some amusement when Spitfire was nearby. The Hooviet party was a bit like that with two differences.

Unfortunately, as the officer in charge of escorting the Ambassador and the Princess, I was technically a guest this time. Lieutenant Commander Bond had been sent to represent the Air Navy, and I later learned he was also informally representing the Equestrian Secret Intelligence Service. At the time though I was thankful that another officer was there in Dress uniform, even if it was white rather than red.

Second, I also had an unshakeable feeling all night someone wanted me dead. Which only intensified as the night drew onwards. It was like somepony, or something was shadowing my every hoof-step. I did my best not to look like I was suspicious while at the same time staying firmly on my guard.

Cadence decided to try and arrive early. The carriage we'd arrived in was the embassy's to use, though our Police escort tonight was just four members of the LCPD flying in front and behind us rather than a constipated-looking detective on board with us. I was amused to learn the beat officers wore hats with flashing blue and red lights in them. We took turns keeping Running Gag's mouth shut. Why do we keep him? Because he's as effective on the enemy as on us!

The Hooviet Embassy was a contrast to ours. We had converted an existing building, but the Hooviets had pretty much carved out a chunk of Liberty City real estate and built a small fortress around the ornate mansion embassy. There was a massive gatehouse to pass through to drive up the road, and upon our carriage arriving at the embassy doors proper, a squad of Deer began to approach, marching in lockstep. They all wore pristine navy-blue uniforms adorned with golden epaulets. At their head, was a deer in a red uniform.

"I am Commissar Chekov. I welcome you to the Hooviet Embassy, Your Highness, Lady Ambassador." The Stag in Red said, extending one of his hooves.

No welcome for the grunts, of course. Just the Very Important Ponies.

"Thank you, Commissar," Cadence said, offering her own hoof, and looking both surprised and relieved for a second when he shook it rather than kiss it.

"Please, Your Highness, may you and your party follow me. May I say that you and the Lady Ambassador both look wery beautiful tonight, and compliment your guard on their wery well-groomed appearance?" He complimented.

Cadence thanked him, and we followed him up the stairs. The Hooviet flag was draped in the form of massive banners flanking the doors, and a line of Deer in forest-brown-and-green clothing stood either side of the red carpet inside, holding muskets in front of them via antler telekinesis. Though they cannot perform magic to the same extent as Unicorns, antlers allow for greater telekinetic stamina and lifting strength due to Deer, (and other such antlered ungulates) usually being born with two of them.

We were taken down a long hall, decorated with many pictures. One even celebrated the Hooviet 'victory' over the Dragons, and even included a small glass case, containing a chunk of burnt wood. Its plaque claimed it had been taken from a Hooviet frigate that had suicide-rammed a large dragon it had fought. The entire crew had been honored as posthumous Heroes of the Empire. I personally suspected it was just a bit of plank someone had set fire to.

"That's weird," Thunderchild whispered.

"The 'artifacts'?" Private Audience responded.

"No it's just, my grandpa always told me deer magic was like Earth pony magic, not unicorns." Thunderchild said like he was trying to remember a dream.

Eventually, we reached the Ballroom of the Hooviet Embassy, brought in by double doors at the end of the red carpet we had followed. A number of other guests were present, and a few Hooviets in an array of uniform wandered around. A fat one was apparently their ambassador. It would seem the true guest of honor, the General-Admiral, planned to arrive and start the party at eight. A pair of ornate doors at the opposite end of the hall had another red carpet stretching from them, as well as two guards either side, so I assumed this would be where the Hooviet officer was going to arrive from. I remembered the likelihood someone may try to start a fight with me, a situation in which being a defense specialist would be handy if it occurred, barrier-users were harder to pass off as being the 'attacker' later in the photos.

"Well, it seems we've got a change to mingle a bit before the 'festivities' begin. Shall we mingle, Cadence?" Ambassador Greetings invited, taking the Princess off to speak with the Ambassador from Austneighlia.

"Apple, Gag, please keep an eye on the Ambassador and the Princess. And remember, be careful. Don't give them any ammo."

"Is there going to be shooting?" Bitter Apple asked, wide-eyed.

"I meant POLITICAL ammo. Watch what you say."

The two of them nodded and kept their distance, but made no effort to conceal their presence. After all, the Austneighlian guards were pretty obvious.

"Commander, I'm going to try and have a few words with some other officers in the room, if you don't mind?" Bond then asked. I had no objections. Besides, I thought at the time, he outranked me.

It was three days later before I remembered I commanded a whole section of the Royal Guard and could have technically pulled rank if I wanted to.

"Sir, what do we know about this Makarov fellow?" Thunderchild wondered a few minutes later.

More and more guests had began to arrive, so the hall was getting a little more crowded.

"He's a Hooviet. I'm afraid that's all I know, Sergeant..."

"A magnificent example of a Hooviet, sir," a voice behind us said.

I turned and saw a deer in an expensive suit. His accent sounded local, likely a Hooviet expatriate. Another deer was with him, looking strange with a long beard.

"Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Alexi Mason. I've worked with the General-Admiral in my business dealings. This is my business partner, Victor Reznov. I'm afraid he has a sore throat and cannot speak tonight, ah..." The look in his eyes begged for my name.

"Captain Shining Armor Sparkle, Commanding Officer of the Equestrian Royal Guard of Her Highness, Princess Mi Amore Cadenza Equestria. This is Sergeant Thunderchild and Private Captive Audience. May I ask what dealings you've had with the General-Admiral?" I replied, keeping as polite a tone as I could manage.

"Certainly, Captain! I export and import some of the worlds finest timber. My company is headquartered right here in Liberty City, but we have operations around the world. The General-Admiral has been a very good customer."

"Isn't it unusual for the Hooviets to import wood?" I inquired.

"Not at all. They recognize the quality of fine wood, and to preserve their own supplies, they often import. A handsome profit for myself, of course. Few others are quite as capable of getting the wood for such reasonable sums. So many charlatans in my business seek to defraud my motherland..."

"Ah, I see. It's clear you're a very skilled and honest businessbuck. What's the General-Admiral like?"

Was I laying it on thick a little? Perhaps, but remember, everypony was trying to make a good impression.

"You'll see for yourself. He's a wonderful being, Captain. Wonderful. Beautiful. Wise, strong, and mature for his young age. An inspiration to us all."

I had a number of questions, but at that point, a pair of double doors opened and a number of Hooviet troops in dress uniforms marched in. They formed lines either side of the carpet and then began to chant a vocal salute.

"Ulla! Ulla! Ulla!"

I'm not a hundred percent sure on that, by the way. It may have been Ura. All I really know is, it's loud, it's aggressive, and it's quite intimidating. Like... what was that song Thunderchild used to listen to? Oh right, One-Winged-Alicorn. As a shape neared the double-doors the Hooviet choir drew out their salute.

"Ullllllllaaaaaaa!"

And in he entered. Supreme Marshal of the Imperial Armed Forces, General-Admiral Solomon Azure Raven Makarov.

It was strange. Every eye in the room was on him, but it felt like even if he'd just walked in without such an entrance it would have happened anyway. He had a strange aura to him, and the first thing I thought when I saw him was to be amazed at his youth. He was barely older than me.

He walked forward, not like he owned the place but like he owned the planet. Confident he was the strongest being in the room, despite the presence of an Alicorn and a small legion of his own soldiers. He seemed like a mortal ascended to Godhood, or that was how he carried himself. He wore a white uniform, rows of medals that seemed to have more gold than all the armor my troopers wore combined, and held a firm but confident smile. He practically glowed.

It was telling the last thing I noticed about him was that he was half-Deer, half-Unicorn. His cutie-mark was the gold skull of an ape with a rose in its teeth with the steam circling around the skull in a ring of thorns, with a bat wing and dove wing going opposite ways behind the skull, with the skull crying a single tear of blood with crossed swords behind the whole mess.

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): What is that even supposed to symbolize?!

I have no bloody idea!!!

His uniform was a completely custom job, unlike anything else in the room.

He marched in as his choir sang the Hooviet Anthem, ceasing their chanted salute. Behind him, came a number of others in vaguely similar uniforms, but far less impressive.

Almost unseen, at his right side, was a strange being all in black. I only saw that being once that night, and never identified his species from the quick glance. All I did see was he appeared to be bald, and not a deer.

The crowd of guests parted before him, some of them even bowing. I felt myself fighting an urge to bow as well, as if he had some spell on him that made others wish to just bask in his magnificence. I only didn't because I heard a voice from beside me, a voice like sandpaper and tinged with a Hooviet accent. It was quiet but I heard it even over the singing of the Hooviet choir.

"What many Ponies and even Deer forget is that the first tribe the Hooviets enslaved was their own."

I glanced around for a second, wondering who it had been, but only Alexi and Victor were there, other than my own Troopers. I looked back at Makarov, who by now was amongst his guests. The singing soon ended, and there was applause. Cadence was clapping, she looked at her own hooves confused and surprised.

"I am Supreme Marshal of the Imperial Armed Forces, General-Admiral Solomon Azure Raven Makarov. I welcome you all to our humble embassy, as friends and hopeful friends of the Hooviet Empire. It is of benefit to The Greater Good that we are at peace with each other, and I hope that tonight's little get-together will help us on our way. I see many faces here tonight that I know and many I would like to know better..."

He moved amongst the guests, a faint but excited set of whispers in the air. I glanced back at the two deer nearby, and both seemed to smile convincingly. I dismissed either of them being the source of the voice. At the time, I dismissed it as imagination.

Makarov gave warm greetings to a number of Ambassadors, diplomats, and the like. Eventually, he reached Cadence.

"And of course, a most honored guest! You look delicious, positively in good taste! Princess Mi Amore Cadenza Equestria, one of only three of the noble God-Alicorns of the Ponies. Welcome, Your Highness!"

Confusion and surprise greeted his remark. Cadence looked alarmed for a second, but recovered, even as he had taken her extended hoof and kissed it.

"Thank you, Supreme Marshal, but I'm afraid that, er, there are only two Alicorns..."

He chuckled.

"Ah, but my dear Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, has not your lost Aunt Luna returned to us this very morning? Has your other Aunt kept the surprise from you as well?"

Cadence performed admirably, but Makarov still won this little bout.

"I'm afraid I'm uncertain of what you speak of, but I could try to ask for clarification of the matter if you wish?"

He just nodded, and moved on. The party then began, a band that thankfully wasn't a choir now playing some string music. I made my way towards Cadence.

"Are you okay, Cadence?" I asked. She looked mortified and despondent.

"What? Oh, I... I'm Fine, Shining... How did he know?"

"I've no idea, Your Highness," Ambassador Greetings confessed.

"There may be a leak somewhere. Possibly a Hooviet agent in Canterlot," Bond said, appearing from seemingly nowhere.

"I agree. Private Gag, I want you to take Commander Bond's message to... The embassy? No, to Commander Shepard. Take it straight to her, she'll get it to the right ponies."

"Follow me, I'll need to find some paper..."

"Yes sir," Gag nodded to me, and went off with Bond.

"Sir, Makarov is heading back this way," Apple warned us discreetly.

Cadence tried to improve her expression and smile in greeting, but she knew this was going to cause problems.

"Ah, Princess. I apologize if I spoiled a surprise back there, but I thought that you would have sought to formally announce the happy news this evening. After all, the most important nations of the world are represented here. I would ask you to introduce me to your soldier, but I am well aware of Captain Sparkle. His reputation precedes him. As assuredly as my reputation precedes me, eh, Captain?"

He grinned and winked at me, apparently fully confident that I had memorized every footnote of his personal dossier years in advance.

"I must ask, Captain Sparkle, which one of my personal accomplishments strikes you as most impressive? One of my political exploits? Or my military ones? And why?"

All I could think of was: What reputation preceded me?

"Er, I'm sorry, Supreme Marshal Makarov, sir. My knowledge of Hooviet culture and history is passable, at best, but I don't actually know much about you. I've only been recently promoted..." I said without thinking.

He reacted right away, eyes narrowing.

"You don't know much about me?"

He looked like I'd slapped his mother's muzzle.

"I find this highly unusual, Captain. Extremely difficult to believe. I am second only to Father Deer in my importance to the Hooviet Empire."

"I can only apologize, Sir, but I may not have been cleared for such important details before now..." Try to recover the hoofball, fumble.

"Do not call me 'sir', wretch! I will have you know I graduated top of my class for the Spetznaz! I am the youngest-ever Supreme Marshal of the Empire, and I am the first and only half-Deer to reach any position of authority in the Empire! I have bested dragons in personal one-on-one combat! I have access to the full might of the Hooviet arsenal!"

Cadence almost jumped at his tone.

"You 'don't actually know much about' Supreme Marshal of the Imperial Armed Forces, General-Admiral Solomon Azure Raven Makarov?" He said in a tone reserved for the crushing of the impudent. "You dare lie to my face. Is this some childish retort to my little jape? I find it in poor taste, Captain. And what I find in poor taste, I do not deign to consume!"

He spat out on the floor, as though to demonstrate, and turned to leave. I blinked, and so did Cadence.

"...What in Tartarus was all that about?" Cadence eventually whispered.

"I'd tell you 'I don't know,' but I think that's the problem," I managed to reply.

Episode 86: (Dark World): Shed Tears

Pony POV Series
Dark World Part 15
Duel of Tears Begins

Anarchy had just gotten back from Rancor's birthday party. Upon entering the mortal world, the first sight that greeted him was his champion's charred remains. He stared at them with a twitching eye. A quick rewind showed the stallion had been hit by a missile from the Batcycle, after round two with the Batmare. "How is this even possible? He broke the back of Batmare...Pandora, what are you doing here?"

"Oh! I was doing a test run. I wanted to see if I could inspire other professions outside of artists."

"How did that work out?"

"My first experiment was on a chiropractor. It worked a bit too well and he kinda ended in prison for it. But now he healed somepony's back! Isn't that cool?!... Why are you banging your head against the wall?"

+++

"Dear Cousin Discord;

Thank you for the infinite supply of blackbirds, plus the pie recipe for them. They'll be a never-ending source of deliciousness.

Ponythulhu

PS. My domain is lovely this time of year, perhaps you and Fluttercruel could drop by sometime, I'll bake you some blackbird pie."

Fluttercruel sat on the arm rest of the throne munching a hamburger and bon-bons. "I told you we should have killed her already."

"Oh be quiet," Discord said, irritated.

"I'm serious. I know she's the most fun for you, but she's also the most dangerous."

"Correction, my little princess. Twilight's the most fun because she's the most dangerous, you can appreciate that can't you? My adorable little blood knight."

"Meh. I guess." She rolled her eyes towards him, "Erm, you are gonna destroy her, right?"

"If that makes you happy, my little one."

Cruelty smiled, showing sharp teeth. This relief reminded her of when Master had revealed her origins to her:

Fluttercruel hugged him. "I KNEW you didn't have any Namby Pamby weaknesses like falling in love! You rock!"

"Didn't Namby Pamby split your skull open?"

"I returned the favor, after I cut his legs off one by one and had him begging me to kill him at the end. And I did, after making him lick my hooves clean, of course."

"I never got the joke on that young mare."

"WHAT joke? The only joke was him squirming."

"But where's the confusion? The questioning of reality? Turning what is and isn't supposed to be on its head? Sure, making him lick your hooves clean was a nice touch, but all you did was send him straight to Celestia's Papa. If you're going to kill someone, at least make sure they're going to one of My Parents. You have a lot to learn."

"You've been saying that forever!"

"And I'll keep saying it until you learn that you need to save the mayhem for your -enemies-, not your toys."

'Maybe I do finally get it,' Fluttercruel thought in the present as she opened a little music box revealing two smiling plastic prim-and-proper prancing purple ponies, their minds swimming in the bliss of the dance. Bright happy plastic smiles on their faces.

"Hey! How about we recruit a seapony to finish her off-?! You could say how they've gone against you, give her super-water manipulation magic, maybe plant a bomb if things get-" A cleaver went into her head, Discord caught the music box and placed it back on the mantle where she'd got it from.

"You will not suggest such a thing again. young mare." Discord said in a no-nonsense tone. It made Fluttercruel shiver. She pulled the weapon out of her front lob, lop, shop, lollipop, urg! -- Frontal lobe! -- pouting.

"The seaponies are off limits, each of their voices and songs are unique, and I will not be denied one."

(Why are you so determined to preserve imitations of creatures you exterminated yourself?)

'Just a whim.'

(You seem to be pretty staunchly committed to something that was supposed to be 'just a whim.')

"Aw... are you feeling sorry for widdle ol' me?"

('Sorry?' For worthless sewage like you? That was so funny I forgot to laugh. Yet, you do enjoy the seaponies' music, don't you?)

"What of it?"

(All those meticulously-organized symphonies, each note on the page arranged just so, every musician in the orchestra cooperating together to achieve a most melodious HARMONY. I'd have thought the only music a miserable chaos freak like you could enjoy would sound like two cats trying to claw each other to death on a keyboard.)

"Who's miserable?"

(You destroyed something you liked in a moment of blind thoughtlessness, like a toddler. Then you go and remake them. Why? Because you're too big of a brat to permit your mistakes to ever actually mean something.)

'With Cruelty I have rediscovered myself! All ponies an island unto themselves! All ponies traumatized into stark insanity! Confusion and nonsense the only rule! THAT is the Equestria I live for!'

(Heh heh! Ha Ha! Really? And how long before you get bored of that again? Just like you get bored of everything eventually.)

'Not everything, I don't get tired of her.'

(Yes, everything. EVERYTHING. Why? Because underneath all your power, underneath your snark, underneath even your very EVIL, ... at your core, Discord, you're just the most BORING creature to have ever existed.)

"Boring?!" Discord cried. A snap of his fingers later, a queasy chimpanzee made of tricycles chained himself to a gyrating shampoo puddle and rocketed into the sun. "Me?"

(Let me put it to you this way: imagine a diehard optimist, someone who was AS optimistic as you are boring. Could you chain her to Your Mother's face, and she'd eventually have HER whistling a happy tune?)

"So you find me boring."

(Oh no. I certainly don't find you boring. Your entire planet of victims don't find you boring. Not even the Shadows-Who-Watch find you boring. YOU find YOURSELF boring. Only the truly boring GET bored to such an incessant extent as you do. Most people are able to maintain a functional level of interest in the world around them without needing to rewrite reality every other minute! So what does that say about you, Discord? All that world-bending power... and it barely takes the edge off your bottomlessly incurable, yawning BOREDOM.)

First, don't belittle Cruelty, second, I can ALWAYS come up with new games no matter the rut I'm trapped in! Third, don't belittle Cruelty!

(... For a second, I actually DID feel sorry for you. Oops! Feeling's gone. Ah well, nothing lost.)

++++

Checking up on Neighpon Discord had found the Kitsune were breeding flowers that produced sake and the Kitsune also shrinking cats to the size of mice and growing mice to the size of cats. The anthros, cat-fillies, and dog-colts meanwhile were more interested in love decagons among themselves than anything else resulting in chaos most admirable. The hydra-pony, dragon-pony, and ponythulu-tribute were having tea instead of fighting. The android maid pony was acting like a nanny to the backwards talking generation three point five pony. The Puffy and slimes ponies were busy cuddling everything that moved and each other. And the breezies had all chosen individual names for themselves while their political system was still in beautiful chaos.

Before getting back to the castle Discord checked on Sunflower, still criminally neglecting her garden and her child.

Discord scratched his chin in thought, then smirked and turned himself into a seed, sprouting in a sunflower, directly in her face all over again. "You know, Sunflower, I was wrong! This isn't the only way, there is another option available to you," his eyes become circles that swirled counter-clockwise, this time. "The way to make sure you don't lose something isn't to never care about it, its to care about it with every fiber of your being! Protect it with everything you have! Yes, that is the best way to ever prevent loss!"

Suddenly, Sunflower's colors weren't gray, they were over-saturated, obtrusive, almost painfully bright to look at. She grinned maniacally. The design of Sunflower's cutie mark's grew until a pattern of sunflowers covered her entire flanks and rear legs.

She instantly began replanting her sunflower seeds, digging an irrigation ditch, and building a wall with barbed wire and machine-gun emplacements around her garden. She also planted land mines around her garden walls and dug an underground fence to keep out gophers. She fertilized and watered each individual seedling.

"WE ARE THE RAIDERS! WE'RE RAIDERS! WE ARE HERE, TO, RAAAAAID!"

With annoyance Discord turned his head to see a gang of ponies on motorcycle swinging chains and mace headed straight for the garden figuring it had to have something valuable. Their logos were copied directly from some old movie. Discord rolled his eyes, and snapped his fingers. A circus tend fell on top of them, and out came clowns on tiny tricycles. And began hitting each other with rubber fish.

Discord said scolding, "If I wanted a post-apocalyptic setting, I'D MAKE ONE! Hmmmm... Naw!"

Sunflower remembered her daughter and painstakingly disarmed the entire array of traps and weapons, before calling her daughter over. The poor thing approached with tearful timidness.

"Mommy? Are-are you alright now?" The foal looked into her mothers eyes.

The moment she was close enough, Sunflower clapped a dog collar around her daughter's neck and fastened the other end around her own. She kissed and hugged her child, briefly weeping for her earlier hard-heartedness, and professing how precious she was. It was like she'd drunken love poison.

The filly's eyes began reverse-swirling. Her colors became painfully bright, and her cutie mark expanding to the same degree her mother's hand. She went from diligently caring for her snapdragons to treating them as holy. And so Discord left the pair: mother and daughter, exchanging endless hugs, kisses and words of love to one another to the point of parody, all while tending to their garden and rearming the traps with a gusto that went beyond obsession.

'I think I'll try this from now on. Can't believe I didn't think of this before! Spread the merriment, my two little patient zeros! Ponies finally seeing things my way... might be interesting!'

(So you say, so you say. But how many times have you said that now only for it to eventually bore you to tears? Can you remember? Oh yes, YOU CAN! Perfectly! Heh, heh, HA HA! Have to keep your subjects guessing! Can't have them figure out that their lord and master is still just a little brat scared to death of his Birth Mother! Still hoping his other mommy's memory might leave him alone, sad that deep down he's nothing more than a spoiled child who even he doesn't know what he wants. But wait! He has a rebellion to crush, so no time to think about that! But ... it always comes back to it, doesn't? No matter what, it always comes back to what you can't escape, over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over!)

'Shut up.'

(In a prison with no doors, the walls built with your own claws, there you are, trapped forevermore. Fluttercruel makes you smile, but how long until the joy turns sour, like everything else after awhile? It's all a matter of time, which you have plenty of, and none of, isn't living forever sublime?)

"shut up about her, shut up, shut up, SHUTUPSHUTUP!"

" ... Master, are you okay?" Fluttercruel blinked inching away from him.

Discord panted, sweating. "I'm! ... I'm fine dear. It's nothing! Absolutely NOTHING! ... Now where were we?"

"Destroying Twilight Sparkle."

"Oh right. That needs to be taken care of, doesn't it?" Discord took a tiny bell and rang it that went 'mew-mew-mew.'

"Yes!"

Traitor Dash was there in a micro-second. "HERE, MASTER!" She said, kowtowing in fright.

"What do YOU want?" Angry Pie snarled stomping into the throne room moments later, dragging her limp leg behind her.

The Valeyard's blue box materialized into being next to her. He popped out the door, smiling and clopping his front hooves together as he spotted Discord. So what's on the menu today, oh Patch-Worked One?"

"Where's the REST of the jerks?!" Angry Pie snapped, looking around in vain for Liarjack, Twilight Tragedy and Rarigreed.

"All in good time." Discord lifted a couple script pages, and pulled out some tiny reading glasses:
"Easy-Level Construct: 'I am another faceless minion of evil for you destroy or be destroyed by. Die in the name of The Evil Wizard!'

"Cutie-Mark-Less-One: 'What 'Evil Wizard?''

"'Uh... The one who only exists when you set the Dungeon difficulty level to 'Hard.' Boy will you be in trouble then. Uh, in the meantime, die in the name of The Evil Wizard!' Action: Attack PCs.'"

Not looking up Discord wiggled his fingers and shot magic missiles at the gathered minions sans Fluttercruel still at his side.

"Hey! What's the big idea-?!"

"Ugh, I had to almost regenerate!"

Traitor Dash said nothing as she twitched waiting for her smoking body to regenerate.

"Master, I think that's wrong script," Fluttercruel groaned face-hooving.

"Huh? Oh right!" He quickly folded the script into an origami crane that flew off on its own, then pulled off a posted-note stuck to his elbow, "Cutie-Mark-Less-One: 'Now I know. What can change the nature of a stallion is-"

"No one cares about that!" Fluttercruel tore up the note and ate it.

"Oh alright!" Discord cleared his throat and manifested the world's silliest podium imaginable. Donning an army helmet, he took out a pointer stick, while this week's randomly selected national anthem played in the background, (which, by some inexplicable intergalactic coincidence, happened to be Ecstasy Of The Bilious Waterpoodle by Steve Goodie.) The flag (a crayon drawing of Discord mooning against a tie-dye background) manifested behind him.

"Unholy spawn, minions, slaves, pets, toys..."

The Valeyard cleared his throat, with a slightly disapproving glower.

"And partners-in-crime." The Valeyard smiled in pleasure. "I regret to inform you that Twilight Tragedy, now Twilight Sparkle, has betrayed your Lord and Master for what shall be the last time. Dismayingly, in addition to spurning Chaos for Order, she has stolen my personal mount, cheated Miss Hooves out of the restoration of all her children, and kidnapped and brainwashed Rarigreed and Liarjack to her warped way of thinking. In short, all four are now her willing accomplices. Now, I am sure this is a troubled time for all of you-"

"LET ME AT 'EM!!!" Angry Pie snapped.

"This is going to be so much bloody fun!" The Valeyard smiled.

" ... " Traitor Dash ground her teeth.

"Alright, maybe not. But on a personal note, I confess being disheartened by the thought of our long-standing allies being beyond hope! I shall leave it to you to determine their fate. Should you feel they can be brought back to the side of..."

"They're already dead!" Angry Pie hissed.

"I'll get to work on finding replacements after they're disposed of!" The Valeyard raised his hoof.

"I'm sure they won't be a problem, Master, please don't worry," Traitor Dash assured with deepest self-revulsion.

"I can't say that wasn't expected," Discord shrugged. "Would it kill you lot to be the least a bit conflicted just once? Where's the fun in you wanting to do it? I swear, I did too good a job corrupting you all." he muttered under his breath. He pulled down a map of Equestria, with LOTS of doodles on it. And stick figures himself and the others. "Alright, first part of our stratagem, you all get some brooms and dust bins, and I drop this really big mountain on top of them. Second part, we all go out for tacos. Third, you chip in to pay my tab. Fourth..."

"MASTER, WAIT!!!" Traitor Dash shouted.

Discord sighed, "Yes, Dashie Dear? What do you feel like sharing with the class today?"

"Erm, wouldn't, wouldn't that be a big waste of a mountain? And I'm really sure we already implemented that plan against Grogar's minions!"

Discord snapped his fingers, the big screen TV replaying that very plan.

"Hmm...so we did. So do you have a better solution? I had this lovely idea that involves turning Sparkler into a water manipulating metapony with a remotely activated bomb, we could..."

"I'm really, I'm absolutely sure that I can-"

The entire castle started rumbling.

"What?" Discord looked around in genuine confusion.

(What? Here?)

Somewhere the shaking caused a tea cup to fall off a table, as was the sacred law of reality that A should follow B.

+++

"H-h-h-h-ey! This-is-is ma-ma-ma-kes ma-ma-ah vi-vi-oice s-s-sound sil-il-ily!" Apple Pie entire body quivered.

+++

"I-I-I ha-ha-ha-hate h-h-how th-i-i-s m-m-makes m-m-my v-v-voice s-s-sound!" Angry Pie grumbled.

+++

"Another air-quake?!" The breezie who had chosen the name 'Chu' shouted.

The breezie next to her who had taken the name 'Kai' responded, "No, this, this feels like an Everything-Quake!"

+++

"Mommy? Why is the entire planet below shaking? Why is our ocean shaking?" Waterflower the seapony asked her mother.

Ocean Heart shook her head casually, "I have no idea honey, but I'm sure it's nothing to worry about. Master's Six Heroes will take care of it. Now let's get back to showing you know to make Zap-SeaApple-Pie."

"Okay, Mommy!"

+++

Discord looked over as two symbols manifested on the ceiling and the floor. The ceiling was a bleeding red spell-circle with a symbol within that appeared as whatever its viewer feared the most, the floor was a pitch black eye with a single vortex in its center like a black hole.

"This is new...I like it!"

A garish mix of orchestra and rock music echoed through the throne room.

Hellfire and Arctic winds erupted from the ceiling and floor symbols at the same time, clashing together, dragging up the bony form of a draconequus skeleton.

Black rain began to fall up from the floor symbol, burning the ceiling as it hit, but sticking to the skeleton, slowly forming flesh, tissue, and skin from the bottom up. Hellfire belched from the mouth and nose, the light of existence within the shadow.

The draconequus opened her eyes as she stood silhouetted in the midst of the hellish flames, ice and shadows spreading out from her hands and shattering to form her weapon which she used to disperse the flames and arctic wind to and reveal her true form to those standing before her.

Front paw of a Tasmanian wolf and claw of a moa. Rear hoof of a kouprey and rear paw of a sabertooth tiger. Her tail was a shark's.

She had the build and stature of a draconequus having just hit puberty.

She had an ear piercing and a black t-shirt saying 'The Rockin' Beats Rock' that she tossed off. She held a black spear that seemed to eat at the warmth around it that was a about one head taller than her. On the blunt end was a little pink ribbon with the keychain-sized skull of something equine. Her mane style, was decidedly tomboyish. It reminded Discord of when Pandora had gone through that 'lion tail' phase for a few billion years before going back to her fox tail.

"Ah, bugger," The Valeyard swore.

"There's more than ONE?!" Angry Pie hissed.

Dash just stared dumbly.

Fluttercruel looked in awe like a moth to the flame.

(Who is this?!)

"I am Rancor Adrestia Typhon, Animosity. All behold me, and give into your passions! Your rages! Your lusts! Your dramas! Bring forth the blood of all who have wronged you upon my altar!"

"I'm the only one who chooses the background music around here, girl!"

Discord snapped his finger, causing the music to needle scratch to a stop.

The teenage draconequus turned around and put her front limbs on her hips, "Ah come on! I was just trying to have some fun!"

"Let's see... music, I'd give a nine, the entrance an eight, but the speech I'd have to say a seven. Would've been more ominous without the shirt, but I appreciate the randomness."

"Who asked you?!"

"So just who are you?"

"Didn't you hear the speech?"

"I might have been checking my email."

"Ugh! I'm Rancor! Spirit of passions, violence, and revenge, AND ... your new little sister! You know after everything I heard about you I thought you'd be taller."

"I slouch. And! The Rockin' Beats didn't have a good album for a year before their civilization was destroyed!"

"By Destruction's power."

"Yes, Destruction's power."

" ... that is so hot." She looked around, "Soooo, who are all these guys?"

"We were in the middle of something, thank you for interrupting. Mind filling us in on what you're doing here, runt?"

"If you must know, Mom and Dad wanted me to 'grow up' and thought you'd be a great way to get it done. You know, I'm disappointed you didn't show up for my hatching."

"I must have misplaced the invite."

"Soooo, what do you guys do for fun around here? Dad's idea of fun-bonding-time is us two watching terrified mortals, and me walking among'em. Dad says it builds character." She summoned up a pile of luggage full of useless junk and tossed them to the side causing the room to shake. "I won't be staying that long, but best to be prepared, ya know?"

"DISCORD HAS PARENTS?!" Dash and Angry Pie exclaimed at the same time.

"Yeah, what's it to you?" Rancor turned towards the ponies like they were petty annoyances.

RD's eyes became small. "Nothing."

"EVERYTHING! Who do you think you are? Dropping in like this?! You've got a lot of nerve!" Discord glued Angry Pie's hooves to the floor.

"Is the pink tough-girl always like this?" Rancor asked.

"Meh, more or less. She was really fun, once upon a time."

"Actually, I don't think she's that bad, Dissy..." Rancor said, "I think she's kind of cute."

"Hey don't call me 'Dissey' in front of my minions!"

Rancor chuckled. "Just pulling your chain, brother."

Rancor looked to Dash and Angry Pie. "If you must know, yes, we have Parents, and three siblings, to boot. It's just most of us are too busy doing our jobs to come visit and Discord is the only one who's really interested in conquering the mortal world. It's his scene, not ours. Dad was going to drop me off, but He couldn't decide which Avatar to use."

"He had that lovely pony Avatar. What was wrong with that?"

"He couldn't decide if it wasn't scary anymore due to being an 'outdated model' or if that made it more disturbing," Rancor said with a straight face.

"Ah."

"He said hi though."

Fluttercruel fluttered up to her, awe and wonder in her voice. "So ... you're another Draconequus?"

"Yep! And you are?"

"Fluttercruel."

"REALLY?! You're Cruelty! Nice to finally meet you! Ya know, Dissey, everyequus is very cross you haven't introduced her to us yet! You have a responsibility you know."

"Bite me. YEOW! Okay! That was actually funny!"

"Thanks!"

"But stop calling me Dissey!"

"Nice weapon," Fluttercruel said looking at it with sparkles in her eyes.

"Thanks! Isn't it the coolest?"

"YES!"

"Teenagers," The Valeyard muttered under his breath.

Traitor Dash, Angry Pie, and Discord all found themselves nodding.

"So what can I do for you, big brother? Mom and Dad say I'm supposed to get on your good side. So I guess I'm here to help. But I am not getting you coffee."

"Well ... I did just have some minions betray me."

"And?"

"And I don't like it. No matter how many...how many times it happens. And we were just discussing how to take care of things."

"Well," She tossed her spear in the air a few times, making it spin and catching it perfectly each time. She played with it on her fingers like a gymnastics baton as Fluttercruel watched with fan-girlish glee, "I guess I could take care of them for ya. I am revenge after all."

"NO!" Traitor Dash shouted, suddenly finding her nerve.

Everyone looked at her.

"Master! I-I-I-I-"

"Say it, Dashie," Discord said warmly, leaning in close.

"Let me."

"Let you what?"

"Let me do it."

"And what is 'it?'"

" ... . let me kill Twilight."

Discord leaned back, "Nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn-yes!" Discord laughed and clapped, "It's about time! Of course if you take too long I think I may think you're not up the challenge and just send somepony or someequus else to take care of her for you, of course if I do that, then you won't be able to-"

"I CAN DO IT! I SWEAR I CAN DO IT! JUST GIVE ME A CHANCE!"

"Oh really? Well if you're that sure."

"I AM I AM!"

"I am, what?"

"I am... Master!!"

Discord smirked. "Well then, don't hold back, just so there are no excuses if you fail. Accept the full, undiluted, unfiltered power of the Element of Treachery, accept the gifts of the Draconequi. You'll need it against three Elements of Chaos being wielded at full power."

"But where are they?!"

"Your an Element of Chaos too aren't you?"

Traitor Dash stared for a few seconds.

"FEEL for them! The Elements have a... magnetism to each other! Drawn to fate and all that baloney! In the name of Entropy, The-Anti-Mother Of All That Is, get your flank in gear! I'll keep our deal, I swear to Entropy."

"You can trust 'em," Rancor said, relaxing her spear behind her head. "The last ___ who promised on Mom's name and didn't keep their end...well, even if you knew who __ was, you wouldn't remember now."

Discord turned on the wide screen TV, showing Traitor Dash flying. "Who wants popcorn?! Rancor, you can have the rabbit mcnuggets. Valeyard, you get the pears. Rancor, you like exploding chocolate milk?"

"I prefer exploding strawberry milk." She blushed, "It is NOT fru-fru!"

"Of course it isn't."

++++++

And all at once, the moon and sun changed ... to dusk and dawn. Panic and confusion spread among ponies and creatures all over the globe at this strange change to the world, their precious few constants. They had never seen twilight.

"Half-Light!" Apple Pie gasped bewildered and scared at the sky, "What is it-?!"

The purple unicorn narrowed her eyes, pulling Apple Pie closer to comfort her, "It's a message. From Discord. He knows."

++++

I flew like lightning, 'Just feel them huh?' Even harder than it sounded.

I had to fight them first before any of the others could do the deed. If they fought Twilight first and won, there was no hope this world left, it would be completely doomed, and I'd have thrown away its one chance to be saved.

I wouldn't let Discord steal it away from me. I wouldn't! I had waited too long, and hesitated and let ponies suffer too much! I felt sick at myself again if I was going to do this, I should have done this from the start.

But, that was how things worked out...

I remembered the night I had last seen Derpy.

Why, why did I have to be tortured like that? ... Right, because I've earned it.

"Rainbow Dash! You don't need to run away anymore!"

"Just leave me alone Scootaloo!" I screamed at the ghost. It had to be a ghost, why else would she look like a filly but have her cutie mark?

"Dash! Just stop! This can all just stop!" She pleaded. "It isn't over!"

"Yes it is! Discord's won! The Elements of Harmony are gone! The Princesses are gone! And I-- And I have too blood on my stinking hooves for any of it to matter! I'm a monster!"

Scootaloo smiled at me fluttering in front of me when she had been behind me a second ago. "But you don't have to be! The Elements are still there! You and the world can be saved!"

I howled through my tears, "THERE IS NO SALVATION FOR A PONY LIKE ME!"

I had no idea where I was going, so I just let my gut instincts guide me.

Scootaloo had made more sense before she died. I was a sack of sewage in pony skin and everypony knew it. Scootaloo had been right when she hated me, I was just Discord's dog.

I looked back, I kept feeling like she was still following me...Please, just let her leave me alone I...I don't deserve her cheering me on anymore. Calling me a monster when... when I killed her hurt less!

I deserve to disappear.

No matter what choice I made it benefited Master. No matter what choice I made, I always hurt my friends.

Master said I could either do what he wanted, or he could rip the Element of Treachery out of me and stab it into Scootaloo's chest instead.

A small flock of Griffins and Pegasi to keep me busy while the rest fled for their sanity into the desert and badlands I could have handled easy peasy.

"I told you to find other 'cool' friends Gilda."

Master never had an army, he never needed one, he had me to do his dirty work.

With how much we both loved to hear ourselves talk, you think awkward silence would be the last thing we'd have. I barely noticed Gilda's colors were dulled.

Gilda shrugged, "I did... other pegasi. How screwed up is that?"

"And?"

"And that bucking chimera a-hole ... he . . I ... when I could think like me again... the blood was all over my beak and claws and I could taste-! Dash let's go! Just the two of us! Us together! We're all we've ever needed! We rock! You and me!"

The look in Gilda's eyes, it was manic yeah, but, desperate?

"I'm sorry Gilda, I can't."

"WHAT?! WHY! Those lame-os are screwing with your head! They're making you something you aren't! Can't you see they're buckin' brainwashing yous!? This isn't you!"

" ... Gilda. Haven't you heard?"

"Yeah, those dirty pegasi and other griffs lied and said you were working for that chimera freak-ass whose turned Equestria inside out. But I knew there was no way you'd hook up with a pyscho like that! You're too cool for that! That's why I said I'd keep ya busy! Cause I knew they were being stupid!"

"... Gilda, you, we were wrong, helping others, being part of a larger group of buddies, it doesn't have to be about a reward or showing off, and it makes ya feel bigger, not smaller... . And this is a dirty job Discord is gonna make somepony do no matter what, so it might as well not be whose next on his list or a bucker who'd like doing what he says."

"... What?" I don't think I'ver heard heard Gilda's voice be so small.

"I am Traitor Dash, Element of Treachery, I serve Master Discord."

"That joke wasn't funny Dash!"

"I'm not joking."

"What the Tartarus is wrong with you, Dash-?! Where's that kick-flank pony who was the only one ever cool enough to be my friend-?! She wasn't anypony's dog!"

"She's gone to the same place that tough-but-loyal griffin who stayed by me like a friend should likely went to. She wasn't a brute and a bully."

"WHY YOU!" Gilda roared, "We were two peas in a pod! You stupid ponies and your stupid butt tattoos! Think you're better than everyone else! Get a neon sign on your ass to tell you what you rock at! No doubts! No fears! No parents sayin' 'Stunt flying isn't what your meant for!' Your life handed to you in one neat package on your ass!

'The high and mighty pony all other species should aspire to!' Much better than the 'evil meat eaters!' Am I right?! Why else would you have a freakin' god holdin' your stupid hooves! Other species don't deserve it! 'Don't think like a griffin, don't think like a dragon, don't think like a donkey, think like a pony!' 'Praise be the pony, buck everyone else!'" She took a dive at me.

I blocked her claws with my hooves, "I'm SORRY Gilda!" I cried.

"Faker! Rainbow Dash doesn't snivel like a filly!! She'd bite it before rolling over and playing dead!"

Gilda, her image was more important than our friendship.

Would Discord think she made a better Element of Treachery than me? Would he crush her spirit and make her his slave instead? No! I couldn't, let that, happen, to her!

No matter what happens. I always hurt my friends.

I noticed the flock of Hippogriffs as they were waiting for me like a wall of hooves and claws. Inquisition wasn't with them. Had Twilight gotten them on her side already? "She's here! Get ready! Remember! I bet she can't regenerate if her pieces are dropped in quick-dry concrete! Remember Interrogation and Storm-Cracker!!"

"I'm sorry, but I don't have time for you guys right now!" I Sonic Darkboomed at the moment right before contact as they mobbed me, they scattered like leafs.

Changelings came at me from every possible direction like I was in a fast shrinking sphere of white insect-ponies shifting from the green camouflage color of the sky. "She might be immortal but she's just one pony!"

"AGH! NOT NOW!" Using pegasi magic I spun until I created a tornado, I was the only thing safe at the eye of the hurricane.

I flew up not caring how many survived or not, it wouldn't matter so long as I didn't fail, I couldn't dare fail.

"For the glory of Queen Tiamat! Smite the lapdog of evil!"

"Oh for the love-! GET OUT OF MY WAY~!!!"

The dragon didn't get to reply as I flew into his mouth generating a Sonic Darkboom.

The other two killing squads closed in behind me.

"Take her down or die trying!"

"LEAVE ME ALONE!!!" I howled, at the hippogriffs, dragons, dragons, Scootaloo, Discord, Gilda, Rainbow Dash, my memories. "LEAVE ME ALONE! ALL OF YOU! LEAVE ME THE BUCKING ALONE!"

I'm tired of this miserable joyless friendless empty coward's existence. I'm sick of angst, angst, angst, angst, whine.

I'll enter pony heaven through the gates of hell.

This is my redemption.

++++

I watched Apple Pie put her hoof on the boulder, commanding it to break and a split going right down the middle. Applejack patted her on the back.

"Yah got it, sugar cube, good job!"

"Thanks! Ah didn't know there was an easier way to bust rocks open!"

"Neither did Ah, until...well, lets say Ah just picked it up recently," she replied, looking a little sad before smiling proudly to Apple Pie.

Apple Pie had wanted to learn some Earth Pony magic as it was (we'd unfortunately...disturbed her previous attempts), and while it took some convincing on Applejack's part, she'd finally got Apple Pie to admit to learning the technique. I can't blame her for being confused, considering she'd spent her entire life kicking rocks apart with her bare hooves or having Cream Pie blow them up. Still, it was a useful skill...and she needed every one she could get.

The three of us had a thousand years of combat experience, and saved the world once before that, Spike was a mountain of muscle and bone with a strategic, intelligent mind controlling all that power (no offense to other dragons, but their fighting style typically boiled down to incineration and sheer brute force. The fact Spike was able to strategically apply his was a huge advantage), and even Derpy had apparently saved the world several times. Apple Pie had simply broken me free of Discord's brainwashing, which while very impressive still meant she was the rookie. We had to teach her whatever we could before we confronted Discord, and there was no telling just how much time we had until that moment. So the only solution we had was to use that time to give her a crash course in saving the world.

(You're already making her a child soldier.)

No...This isn't a weapon, it's a skill. One that could come in handy considering the palace is built from rock.

(Applejack used it to kill Tom, or have you forgotten?)

I...No, I haven't but...That's not all it's useful for, and what are the odds we'll even encounter someone else like him?

(You speak of "odds" in conjunction with Discord? You're so naive.)

...Wouldn't I be more naive if I thought she'd be able to magically convince Fluttershy, Pinkie, Rainbow, the Valeyard, and Discord to turn over a new leaf by sheer charisma? I just wish she could.

I look back while Applejack hugged Apple Pie close and praised her...

The unmistakable thunder of a Sonic Darkboom brought all our attention to the sky.

Derpy gasped. Spike mouth opened just a little silently. Rarity's eyes narrowed. Apple Pie took a hoof-step back the tiniest bit scared as AJ took a hoof step forward, eyes locked on the newcomer, not angry or intense, but sad. She quickly put an illusion around Apple Pie to hide her hopefully before she was noticed. The less Discord knew the better.

It was Traitor Dash. She had soot and feathers that weren't hers on spots over her body. She was panting hard, sweat dripped off her muzzle. Her wings flapped to keep her airborne and stationary above and ahead of us as the crow flies to Discord's castle.

"Dash?" I called out, hoping against hope that Rainbow Dash was back with us.

Traitor Dash called out, "Twilight! Please let me kill you!"

TO BE CONTINUED

Episode 87: (Shining Armor) noisufnoC-Confusion

Pony POV Series
Shining Armor Part 5
Written By lz0291
noisufnoC-Confusion
Edited by Alex Warlorn, Kendell2, And Louis Badalament.

I'd been left a little off-balance by the General-Admiral's outburst. Next to that, the rest of the party was very much an unmemorable affair. Which is my excuse for not remembering any of it... except that I really had a solid, real, and antlered reason to keep looking over my shoulder. It was less than three hours total but the whole night felt longer, forgettable or not.

The mood of the night was rather tense for us Equestrians. The Hooviets had not invited official representatives of the host nation. Rather, they instead chose a select set of Columbian notables who were ideologically sympathetic to the Hooviets, or at least their propaganda mills. Makarov's big mouth had caused many a foreign dignitary to ask for confirmation about Cadence's newly-returned aunt. The only saving grace of the night was that the spy, at least, seemed to not have learned who we meant to tell first, or else the Columbian President and President-Elect would've already been present at Makarov's little shindig, to humiliate us further.

Gag had been sent off with our message to Shepard, and finally returned just near the planned end of the party. Bond managed to get my attention, and that of Cadence and our Ambassador.

"Is this about the message you sent?" she guessed.

"Actually, yes. We've been informed that Canterlot will be sending us some more information on Makarov. I knew of him before but the information was... abbreviated." Bond replied.

"And what did you know?" I asked.

In reply, Bond's horn glowed briefly with a spell I'd been trained to recognize; just in case. A selective silence spell. Complicated both to pull off and keep going, but it basically meant that to anyone outside those participating in the conversation, our words came out a few seconds later. In those few seconds, the caster could censor a word, usually rendering it silent, or into gibberish. It's of Neighponese origin, so most casters wind up learning to have the Neighponese vowel pronunciation of La-Li-Lu-Le-Lo replace words or phrases they wish to conceal. More skilled users can have words replaced by the minds of the other listeners, causing confusion as multiple ears hear multiple possible phrases. That last version didn't work so well if it was focused on just one person who already knew what you were talking about.

"Four is about my limit for this spell, and I can't hold it too long," Bond cautioned me. "Basically, all I know is pretty all you now know, bar a few extra details. Makarov's name cropped up in a very recent report investigating an old accident at Chernobull Magic Research Facility, in the south of the Hooviet Empire."

This unfortunately bewildered poor old Private Running Gag, as the pegasus was kept out of the loop.

"The La-li-lu-le what? In the Seek Park Boating Lake? Commander Bond, are you all right?"

And none of us explained it to him.

"Wasn't the south devastated in the Dragon War?" Cadence asked.

"What earthquake?!"

Tee hee.

...Oh, don't give me those looks, he gave as good as he got with gags based on the gibberish later. You don't want to know.

"It was, yes. Construction of the facility was done under the cover of the rebuilding effort. We're unsure when it actually took place but we only recently learned any details of the incident. Makarov is often mentioned in connection to the site."

"How is he connected?"

"His name appears on the personnel roster, but that's it. No details of his duties or how long he stayed there, nothing."

For somedeer with such a sky-high ego, claiming to be the MOST important solider in the Hooviet army, you think we'd have trouble not finding out things about him.

"We've not got much information on him that hasn't come from the Hooviets themselves, apart from that. As a result, Canterlot will be sending a specialist unit under the command of Captain Baseplate to observe Makarov up close..."

"Auntie's sending spies?" Cadence raised a brow.

"They're not spies as such, Cadence, just a sort of reconnaissance unit. But I didn't know they were active yet."

"Neither did I. But they are. Oh, and by the way, they're also trying to find the source of the leak in Canterlot but they've asked us to look into our own personnel, in case it was someone here," Bond replied, and dropped his spell.

"So... What does that mean, basically? What will all this mean?" Cadence asked.

"Well, to sum up our current situation: Makarov has announced Princess Luna to the world before us, Shining Armor has managed to get caught up in a diplomatic incident because he had no idea who Makarov was, we've now got a unit coming that I can't actually plausibly deny the presence of, the President and President-elect are going to be extremely annoyed when they learn of all this, and I think the Prench Ambassador has had too much salt to drink."

"Votre Altesse, vous avez des ailes magnifique!" A nearby Prench-accented voice giggled in French.

No, I have no idea why the language and the cultural stuff like haute couture and cuisine is 'French' but the country and the nationality is 'Prance.' Some sort of shared culture with a few other nations. I don't even speak any Prench. Er, French.

"...Yup, he's drunk. Though you do have very pretty wings, Your Highness," Gag noted, making a pretty random compliment.

I suppose he was trying to calm her down a little as she'd been on edge all night. Then again, we all had.

(Interviewer's Notes: (Pegasus): Did you ever learn what the Prench ambassador actually said?)

Nope, wasn't important, and besides, he was apparently so drunk his grammar was all over the place. For all I know it wasn't even a coherent sentence. Gag actually has a gift for languages as well as bad jokes, so I'd have asked him if I felt it mattered.

(Interviewer's Notes: (Earth Pony): Oh! I know what he said, he said-umph!)

(Interviewer's Notes: (Unicorn): No need to share, dearie It was unimportant.)

"You should have heard him talking about the Alexandrian Ambassador's tail feathers. And that was when he was sober," Lady Warm Greetings said with an amused smile.

"As entertaining as a drunken Prenchstallion's compliments might be, what relevance does that have to our situation, Lady Ambassador?" Cadence blushed, keeping her voice as mechanically formal as possible.

"Well, he'll be a decent distraction when he stumbles into that table..."

One clatter later, a surprisingly-amused Makarov accepted the Prench Ambassador's drunken apology and then used it as an excuse to draw the party to a close with a mind-numbly boring speech that I got clinical permission to have erased from my memory! All I can remember of it now is Cadence mumbling, "Why did I cheer at that?"

The Equestrian party regrouped, though Thunderchild took Gag aside for a reminder on 'tact' and wing-size jokes not being universal clean humor as we headed for the carriage. The squad decided to go on the roof, to give a little more room inside (and so Thunderchild could stretch his wings a little).

On board, Bond spoke up again.

"I've asked for Squadron Commander Lord Flashheart to have someone bring the messages from Canterlot over as soon as they arrive. Hopefully they'll also send those personal letters that were promised and I've asked for more clarification on the other matter."

"Er, Lord Flashheart was aboard?" I asked.

"Well, yes. Didn't you review the personnel files?"

"Um..." I said.

Bond sighed.

"Private Gag, can you take a message to Commander Shepard to have a copy of those files sent over for Commander Sparkle?"

"Cheer up, Shiney, you'll have plenty to read at night!" Cadence noted.

"But none of it's about Hoofball," I joked.

All the documents got back to the embassy before us, it turned out. I had hoped to look over the information on Makarov, the files, and all that when a chance presented itself later. But Princess Celestia and Twilight had indeed sent the more personal letters. The blowhard could wait. I won't repeat exactly what the files said, but Cadence wanted to speak to me about ten minutes later, and by midnight I had to remind her to go to bed since she was meant to be up at eight. And given what I'd read I found myself a bit restless.

Princess Celestia's letter was informal but also informative. Cadence had got the truly personal one for obvious reasons, but Celestia's words to me felt like virtually any time she spoke openly, not as a regent or a commander. I'll admit I was a little disappointed she'd trusted me with Cadence's security, but not with the truth of the matter of Nightmare Moon, nor with what she had expected to happen. But her explanations confirmed things I'd suspected. Suppose Cadence and I had known of Nightmare Moon's arrival in advance? A new Alicorn present would certainly have ended with Cadence sealed away somewhere and Luna buried even deeper in her hate and jealousy.

Twilight's letter, however was... unusual. When she sent letters to me before, they were always very formally written, usually dictated to Spike. But she'd obviously horn-wrote this herself and I had the impression she was excited and proud as she wrote. Her personal penmareship was a distinctive cursive, elegant but practical.

On this letter it looked like she'd hurled the words onto the page. Run-on sentences, spelling errors, evidence she was more concerned about getting the message out than scripting flawless prose. I can't remember when Twiley was this joyful. She'd also enclosed a small photo of herself and five other mares. Her in the middle, surrounded by her new friends, elated and excited. Not a trace of having fought an Alicorn, no post-traumatic stress. In fact, she looked the happiest she'd been in a long while. I'm not saying she was unhappy or indifferent before, but there was just this new spark to her.

Because I was feeling restless, though, I figured I would take a quick glance at the files before nodding off.

I realized the error of my ways when the alarm clock radio blared into life at five thirty in the middle of a song.

"...Then put your little hoof in mine, there ain't no hill or mountain we can't climb..."

Mysteriously, the radio then flew out of the window. It was certainly not because I was startled and blasted it with magic. Must have been an Earthquake.

...None of you believe me, do you?

(Interviewer's Notes: (Pegasus): Nope.)

"...Uh oh."

Cue me quickly getting ready. At least, that was the plan until, less than a minute later, there came a knock at the door.

"Are you all right in there, Sir? I heard a crash."

I opened the door to find a Griffin Marine standing behind Thunderchild, along with Private Audience. The Griffin and the Unicorn both held spriling-pistols at the ready but not aimed.

(Interviewer's Notes: (Earth Pony): What's a spriling pistol?)

It's a type of spring-powered slingshot pistol, used because they're small and have a decent capacity of sling-bullets even if they are short ranged and quite weak. While some unicorns' magic can copy the same effect, the spriling could be used by anyone and lacked the recoil of larger weapons, making them more practical. The name, of course, is a portmanteau of 'spring' and 'sling.'

"No problem, Sergeant, just, er... Small mishap opening the window."

The Marine and Audience holstered their weapons and left. Thunderchild invited himself in.

"Were you up all night, Sir?"

"How did you... No. No I wasn't," I attempted.

"You're wearing last night's uniform, Sir."

"...Okay, I was restless after that letter and I started reading the files."

"I see. So it is genetic."

I wondered how much mana a forcefield would need to squeeze him through a tiny porthole.

"Er, I mean, did you learn anything, Captain Sparkle?"

"Just the schedule we have planned for the rest of our stay here, that for some reason Minuette is listed in our roster twice, and once as a pegasus, and Sunset isn't mentioned at all so I think they've botched the file there a bit, that the Dreadnought is captained by a Commander Sisko while Falcon is under command of Commander Solo, both of whom share the same rank as Commander Shepard but are junior to her, while Enterprise has a Lieutenant Commander Archer in charge. And not really a lot about Grand-Poobah Makarov, which was just plain confusing. Also, I noticed that Ace Rimmer flies one of the Patrol Craft on Invincible and I had no idea he or The Lord Flashheart were aboard. Lastly, some of the names seem a bit... odd."

"Odd, sir?"

"Well, like... Lance-Corporal Alleyne. She's from Detrot, her whole family lived there for generations, yet she's got a name of Germaneic or Haywaiian origin."

"Some parents like exotic names. I once dated a filly called Sarah when I was at flight school. I also knew a colt and filly named Link and Saria."

"Maybe, but... I can't help but think it's something we might want to double-check for the leak now, if only to prevent a real witch-hunt later."

"I see, sir. Well, Sunset was saying she wanted to go over to the entourage ships to check for a spell book for the Princess, actually. I was going to ask you which squad should go with her."

"Misfit one-two. Corporal Dunn's team. In fact I'll go over with them, I'll take a look at the library."

Of course, I really went to see if any progress had been made, finding our leak. I'd considered Sergeant Reinold's team in order to speak to Alleyne, but I'd recalled that the Sergeant and his Lance-Corporal shared a very close relationship. They were what you could call 'platonic life partners.'

"Okay, Sir, though you'll want to be back before seven when the Princess wakes."

"I recall she wanted to be up at eight. Why seven?"

"Because the President of Columbia has moved his meeting with her an hour forward to oh-eight thirty at the Executive Nest. Oh, and the President-elect will be attending as well."

"Thunderchild?"

"Yes, Sir?"

"That was important."

"Yes, Sir."

"You should probably have told me that bit first."

"Probably, Sir."

"Is there anything else?"

"The President-elect's chief of staff, a Mr. Lygriff, would like to speak to you while he and the President meet the Princess. Oh, and the Presidential Marshals also want to speak to you and the Princess before we head to meet the President."

"Okay. I want you to try and find out things about this Lygriff fellow. Can't risk HIM exploding in my face because I didn't read his file."

"Fair enough." A new voice said. "Ah'll start by telling you what Ah already know. Lygriff was the Deputy Chief of Staff under the previous president for the last eight years, then got bumped up because the old Chief of Staff, Garry McLeo, was gonna be the Vice-President. Sadly, McLeo passed away before the election was won. Lygriff was close to his old boss so commiserations on that front might help 'em keep a lid on it, and Ah've also been asked to tell ya kindly the old President is the Zebra an' the new one is the Unicorn."

"...Lance-Corporal Apple?"

"Yes, Sir?"

"Did you just say that this Griffin nation has been led by a Zebra for the last eight years and has just elected a Unicorn as the new leader?"

You'd think after meeting a deer/unicorn hybrid holding the highest military seat in an empire dedicated to putting all non-deer under its hoof, I'd learn to be less surprised.

"Uh, yes, Sir. In fact the previous president eight years ago was a minotaur. Before that, it was a Griffin though. And before ya ask, Mister Lygriff is a Griffin but his deputy, Mister Airborne, is a Pegasus if ya run into them both."

I sighed, and shelved the files. While it was a triumph for racial equality, I think I can understand why most of the other Griffin clans think Columbian Griffins are insane.

"I'm going to need pictures and a reference book of all these names and faces, aren't I?"

"Yes, sir. Speaking of pictures, though, sir, did Twilight send that with her letter?" Thunderchild asked, nodding at the photo.

"Oh hey, that's mah cousin AJ there. Don't know the other two, but the pink one is Pinkie Pie, met her when Ah visited Ponyville once when Ah was younger, and that there yellow pegasus is the one Ah saw talkin' to Twilight," Lance-Corporal Apple noted.

"That's Fluttershy," I said absentmindedly.

"Permission to write to her, Sir?" Thunderchild asked.

"...Why?"

"Because she's cute."

"There's over seventy female crew members on Invincible alone, and more still on the other ships, not to mention five in the platoon itself. Maybe you should speak to them rather than trying to send letters to Twilight's new friends, Thunderchild," I pointed out.

"But sir, I'm in love," Thunderchild whined, looking at me with puppy-dog eyes. I remained unmoved.

The two of them left, leaving me a brief moment of peace.

Unfortunately, as I'd been up all night, it meant the day technically continued to get worse. Breakfast was not on the menu yet (again), so I made do with toast and tea. One of the ship's shuttles flew us out to the flotilla, and though they understood I wanted to take a look at the library, Dunn and his small team seemed a little nervous at first to have their commanding officer ride along for such a basic task, but they seemed to relax eventually. Mactavish even took a chance for a nap on the flight with permission, as the mechanics of getting an airship from the embassy at one end of the city to the docks at the other were complicated.

There was a lot more air traffic in the early morning, and even later when things were quieter, routes had to be followed as well as instructions from signs, signals, and the like. Mostly hanging off buildings, but the flight regulations prohibited the shuttles from zooming over the rivers except in an emergency - the police and military preferred the skies over the waters to allow larger shipping to move freely.

(Interviewer (Unicorn): Sorry to interrupt, but why did you take the time to mentally catalog so much information about the foreign nations you visited? You don't seem like the type to retain so much minutia.)

Well, it's not everyday you get to see the world outside Equestria's borders! On top of that, I could be of greater benefit to Cadence, and my country as a whole, the more I knew about foreign lands. Also, I wanted to impress Twilight when I got back home. What? My sister is Celestia's personal student, impressing her with knowledge is quite a feat!

The pilot, a Pilot Officer called Washburn, distracted us most of the trip by rambling on about why pilots and the folks that actually flew the airships had different rank titles from the folks that merely crewed and commanded them. Strangely, three of the passengers were Unicorns (Dunn, Myself, and Lance-Corporal Mactavish) whilst the rest (Privates Ranger and Baldrick, plus Sunset) were Pegasi. Washburn and his co-pilot River were both Earth Ponies.

The three Pegasi seemed to be bored of having to ride on a small airship rather than fly by themselves, doubly so given what I just mentioned, but I was a little too busy not getting bored to sleep by Washburn. And I hadn't done that good a job of it...

As I watched the dejected ponies leaving the home end of the Castle of the Damned... er, which is to say... White Hoof Lane, I turned to my commanding officer.

"Sir, I have a question. When Command decided that Princess Celestia accepting the invite by Trottenham to attend the match meant we'd need extra security here, how did..."

"Your name get on the list? Oh, come on, Shining, you're a hoofball fan. Surely you enjoyed the chance to see a game while working?" Captain Sharpe said with his strong Yokeshire accent.

"Well, yes, sir, but..."

I made sure the passing group of dejected stallions in white shirts would not overhear.

"...But there was only one team on the pitch today, and they were Itallion. And should never have been here because we would have won if the ref hadn't lost a contact lens!"

Captain Sharpe simply laughed, but quietly.

"Oh, Lieutenant, sometimes I envy Equestrian Premier League supporters like you. Not Maresenal this year, of course, since you did get hammered early on in this competition..."

"Unfairly! Sir!" I protested.

"...But you lot at least get to play in tournaments like this. Sheffoald United never gets a sniff of it. We barely even get domestic glory when it's there for the taking. In fact, who so unceremoniously knocked my hometown colthood team out of the Hoofball Association Trophy in last week's semifinals?"

"Er, Marsenal, sir, but... Oh. You put my name forward for the detail today, didn't you?"

"Yes," The Sheffoald native said without a trace of the massive grin he wanted to wear.

I groaned.

"Was I really that drunk, sir?"

"Oh yes, cheerfully so, Shining. And the way you tried to learn a fireworks spell to shoot 'Maresenal for the Cup' into the sky was very amusing..."

"Would it help if I said sorry?"

"...Probably not needed. Marechester United are going to tear you to shreds in the final anyway. We'd have stood no chance."

A small jolt of turbulence or whatever shook me awake. I'd only been out for a few moments at most. Nopony noticed, or at least, nopony commented. Mactavish still snoozed away.

"...And so, because the Navy and Air Force were merged with the rise of airships, heh-heh, the Navy having been mostly Earth Ponies with Unicorn officers, and the air force being pegasus units with unicorn ground commanders, it was decided that the air force ranks should be kept for the lying compliments, i.e., the pilots of the ships, and formerly the pegasus guards that almost replaced the naval cavalry. So I'm a pilot officer, but if I was working any other job other than navigation or helmspony on the ship, I'd be an Ensign but if I were in your unit I'd be a Second Lieutenant..."

He seemed to be trying to impress me, I think. Or Sunset. I'm not sure. I imagine her brain had shut down since she was staring off into space. It was all rather immaterial, in the grand scheme of things, as less than a month later he would begin a relationship with a female unicorn in Sergeant Reinold's team: Lance-Corporal Alleyne.

We shook Mactavish awake as we neared the flotilla.

"Huh... I was dreaming about drinking a vanilla milkshake... Does that mean anything?" He mused.

No one gave a reply, but I felt a little envy that apparently he'd had a more interesting dream. I hoped to find some good tea or something else to stay awake on the ship, and in a pinch something as sugary as a milkshake should do it. Almost certainly not banana-flavored though. Bananas are bad luck aboard Equestrian ships. It'd be vanilla, hay, strawberry, or chocolate...

Fortunately, it turned out Commander Shepard kept a good supply of extra-strong coffee on hoof when I met her. Coffee is not my favored drink, but it certainly keeps you alert. Sadly, there was little news, though they were quick to start fixing the files once the two Minutettes issue was brought to their attention. I'd hoped to take an actual look at the ship's library, but unfortunately, I was distracted by strange sounds from a stairwell leading to the top deck.

"How long have you been working for them?!" A male voice demanded.

"Huh? I work for the Princess! There's no 'Them!' Not unless Princess Cadence start using the Royal We!" A familiar female voice replied in confusion.

I stood for a puzzled second and was considering going up to look when
there was another question.

"You know what I mean! How many other spies are there in Canterlot?!"

"What? Look, I really don't know what you're talking abo-"

The female voice was interrupted by a scream. I raced up the stairwell, seeing a group of ponies off some distance away from the entrance - the voices carried even better out here than they had below the stairs. Two Naval Cavalry were reacting with surprise at what a third was doing - Dangling a blue-purple pegasus with an orange mane over the edge of the deck, held in the grip of magic that pinned her wings to her side.

"Help! Somepony help!" Sunset was screaming, instinctively trying to spread her wings against the spell, but even over her cries I heard the other three.

"Eager, what the heck are you doing?!"

"How are you getting the information to the Hooviets? How did you manage to infiltrate the diplomatic party? Do they plan to attack the Princesses?!"

Sunset's only replies were screams for her mother and Celestia, as she stared at the ground so far, far, below with no clouds to catch her. I was running, but the unicorn was shaking her. Even as I was trying to reach out and grab her myself, a flash of white and gold shot out from another nearby door, slamming into the trio. The spell shattered and Sunset flapped her wings in alarm and tried to bolt for the door only to slam into two other guards coming up the stairs.

"Ranger, stand down!" Lance-Corporal Mactavish shouted, using his magic to pull the pegasus in question off the Naval Cavalry unicorn.

Said unicorn tried to get up and charge until his two comrades grabbed
him, and I spoke up.

"All right, explain what's going on here, now!" I shouted, leveling the
most intense glare as I could.

Instantly, the whole crowd froze, like a picture had been taken. None of them had known I was there, it seemed.

"Break it up! You, get off him, my troopers to one side, Naval to the other, and wait there please, Sunset."

The whole group obeyed. I moved to stand beside the now-shaking Sunset, who looked around at all the troopers with wide, fearful eyes.

"It's okay, I'll figure out what's going on here, ma'am," I reassured the hoofmaiden but she still wobbled like jelly.

I studied the six in question. In my trio of troopers, Lance-Corporal Mactavish and Private Baldrick standing in a way that made it easy to hold back Private Ranger, the charging Pegasus. On the Naval side of it, two pegasi, one male and one female, with a male unicorn presently bleeding from a nose injury. The bleeding one was a very large and solidly-built fellow: as big as an Earth Pony that's farmed the fields since he could walk.

"Alright, who is in charge of you Naval Cavalry?"

"M-me, sir..." Another Pegasus, with Leading Seapony markings...

(Interviewer's Notes: (Pegasus): ...Seapony?)

With respect, this is hardly the best point in the narrative for that sort of observation, ma'am. We can come back to it later if you really feel such a need.

Anyway, the pegasus stammered in surprise at my command.

"How would you get Master Chief Petty Officer Spartan here?"

"There's... intercoms around the ship, Sir, I could request he come..."

"Do it, now! And now, I want to know what's happening here! And it better be a darned good explanation unless somepony wants to be court-marshaled!"

All at once, the soldiers and Sunset tried to speak. I groaned, and raised my voice again.

"Not all at once! And Leading Seapony, get on with summoning the Master Chief, or do you think I just woke up one day and put on this officer's armor because I liked the plumes?!"

I lowered it to speak to the quivering pegasus beside me as the Leading Seapony went over and nervously squeaked into an intercom.

"Sunset, you explain first."

"They think I'm a spy!" She pointed at the Naval troopers. "I'm not a spy! Wait! Isn't that what spies always say? Oh Celestia!" She wrapped her wings around herself as the poor mare dug herself in deeper.

"Maybe a little more information than that, please?"

"I-I was looking in the library for a spellbook that Princess Cadence wanted, and the officer at the desk said spellbooks would probably be on Enterprise and I'd need an escort to go over so I went to look for your troopers but those three said they'd take me and led me up here and started asking questions and I got nervous. Then that one cast some spell and I couldn't move my wings and then they dangled me over the railings and called me a spy!"

"Is that true?" I barked at the naval troopers.

"Yes, it is!" the Leading Seapony said. " We never found her name on the files of staff and soldiers in the Princess' party, and we decided to confront her over it. But this idiot took it too far!"

"Did you try and stop him?"

"Before we could, your guy charged into the lot of us! We're lucky she's a Pegasus because none of us could have grabbed her once the spell broke from him charging," The female pegasus Naval Cavalrymare said.

"I presume 'my guy' is Private Ranger?" I confronted my own troopers.

"Yes sir. I'm afraid neither myself nor Private Baldrick saw it very well. We only heard a scream and by the time we'd caught up with Ranger, he'd already conducted his charge."

That was true from what I'd seen, of course. But there was a long way to go in figuring out what had happened and what I saw could be irrelevant, especially if the stories changed...

I looked at my Lance-Corporal, and the higher-ranked Naval equivalent, the Leading Seapony. I hear hoofsteps nearing, but was slightly dismayed to note it was only Corporal Dunn.

"Uh, what's going on here?"

"That's what I'm trying to find out, Corporal. So far it seems that Lance-Corporal Mactavish lost control of a junior trooper, and meanwhile, our Naval Cavalry colleagues also jumped the gun and lost control of themselves."

"Uh, sir, in your Lance-Corporal's defense he did actually grab Private Ranger and stop the fight..."

"Quit helping the enemy, Seaspray!" The unicorn finally spoke.

"Enemy?" A new voice asked.

Master Chief Spartan turned out to have been following Dunn. I'm not sure but I think everyone up there jumped out of their skins when he spoke suddenly.

(Interviewer's Notes: (Pegasus): How can you not be sure?)

I was too busy jumping out of my skin to pay attention to everyone else.

"Seapony Beaver, we're almost certainly going to discuss this in more detail in private, but I never want to hear you or any other Naval Cavalry trooper refer to fellow Royal Guardsponies as 'the enemy' ever again. Are we clear?"

"Y-Yes, Chief." The brash unicorn visibly deflated.

"Anyway, Captain, you seem to be first on the scene. Please continue, sir."

"Thank you, Master Chief. So, Mactavish got Ranger under control, with Baldrick's help, while you three were recovering from being charged at. Am I correct in assuming Seapony Beaver tried to charge?"

"Yes..." Beaver said, looking a lot smaller.

"That's where I come in, shortly after you two grabbed him?"

The Naval Cavalry nodded.

"Okay. So, is it fair to say that you three thought she was a spy because she wasn't on the list and then got nervous when you began questioning her, and you therefore thought the rational response was to dangle her off the side of the airship after tying up her wings with a magic rope spell. One of my troopers, thinking that you were attacking a Hoofmaiden of the Princess for no good reason, jumped the gun and charged you all?"

"We'd hoped to just discuss it with her, sir, I've no idea what Beaver was doing. We were trying to stop him..." Seaspray protested.

"Master Chief, did you authorize any of these actions?"

The experienced NCO shook his head at me.

"No, sir, not like this. I did ask them to be watchful and vigilant, but I never told them outright to look for spies. I fear a few of my troopers might have let the excitement of all that's happening go to their head, unfortunately. I'll take steps to ensure that my troopers are more disciplined."

"Your unit is your business, Master Chief. Accordingly, I'm going to ask you to have someone investigate the conduct of your troopers and I'll get someone to investigate mine. A witch-hunt is the last thing we need. Dunn, take your unit back to the shuttle and wait for me. Ranger, you're off-duty pending this investigation, I want you to remain at the Embassy when we return there. I'll attach someone from Misfit One-Three to make up numbers on One-Two."

"You two, take Seapony Beaver to the brig. I'll be along presently to discuss the matter with all three of you," Master Chief then added.

The two groups then left, any angry remarks at each other out of earshot, though I'd later learn that Ranger began to worry he was in serious trouble and had got the others into it as well.

(Interviewer's Notes: (Unicorn): Was he?)

Master Chief summed it up a few moments later. He had asked Sunset for her side of it, before having some Naval crew take her to the mess to calm her down. She shook a little and look very relieved when Seapony Beaver was taken in the opposite direction. Pegasi aren't used to being scared of falling. Then he told me what he thought.

"As far as I can tell from what I've heard so far, sir, none of yours did anything all that wrong except maybe that Ranger rushed in without authorization... but I've no idea what got into Eager Beaver, for my part..."

"Wait, that's actually his name?"

"...Yes, sir. Anyway, like I said, I'm surprised Beaver got that riled up! I'll interview all my troopers on the matter personally, and keep you informed."

"Likewise, Master Chief. I'll speak to each of my troopers later myself and let you know what they say once things have more time to cool, though I do think Ranger's response is rather pardonable, on the whole."

"He hears a scream, sees three Naval Cavalry threatening a cute young mare... I'd call him a knight in you-know-what, but that may be less than appropriate, Captain Sparkle."

That did get me to laugh a little.

"The worst part is the spy is probably some faceless civil servant in Canterlot who stumbled on the intel, and now we're all looking over our shoulders at each other because of it..." I commented.

"Well, if part of their Hooviets' game was to make us paranoid, it worked. I'll get a lid on it as soon as I can and see about Commander Shepard ensuring the crewponies don't start spy-chasing themselves. If you like, Sir, I'll escort the Hoofmaiden myself, take her to the other ship and look for that book. I'll bring her back to the Embassy too. I bet right now a short flight will do wonders to clear her head."

It was at this point I noticed he was a Pegasus. Unusually for the Naval Cavalry, he always wore his helmet (and Naval Cavalry helmets all have horn-covers on them regardless of pony species, came in handy for misleading the enemy) so until he'd unfolded his wings out from his armor, I'd assumed he was either Earth Pony or Unicorn. I'd forgotten of course that Naval Cavalry, befitting the fact they were at a higher state of readiness, wore green medium combat armor, not light duty armor like my troopers.

"Thank you, Master Chief. I'll be making sure my troopers are on the ball themselves."

I therefore left Sunset in his capable hooves, and went back with my now-nervous troopers to the Embassy. The two of them walked with me, and Sunset did seem to perk up just at the idea of getting to fly. I, however... For some reason I could have sworn I heard a noise like an animal sniffing the air when we were in the corridors. Nothing was there, though, so I chalked it up to my sleep deprivation.

But if Sunset was cheered up from getting to spread her wings, my shuttle was very different. Everyone aboard except the pilot of the shuttle expecting to be shouted at some time today, because I was going to be meeting a possibly irate Columbian politician about the various screw-ups of the previous night.

(Interviewer's Notes: (Unicorn): Captain, before we continue, I've noticed that you didn't mention Sunset all that much before now, mostly in passing. Was there anything odd about her that would've maybe make those soldiers assume 'spy' instead of 'clerical error?')

Not really. As I say, Sunset was a blue-purple pegasus with an orange mane and tail, colors of a sunset sky. Hence her name. She had a cutie mark of a wing skimming over a treetop, and she explained later on that her talent was flying low and in tight areas, quite useful for a Hoofmaiden often sent to fetch things or to take messages around the castle. Could have been an air-acrobat. Visually, nothing about her really screamed 'spy!' at all.

Then again, at first glance of Sunset's personal history, she'd fit the 'profile' perfectly. Not many friends. No obvious enemies. Stays in the background, (although, in all fairness, her job demanded it as much as the role of a guard does!) A good worker but not an exceptional one, by any accounts.

Except that Cadence gets to know her hoofmaidens very personally. Sunset's friends were Cadence and the other hoofmaidens. Our background checks are even more thorough than the ones performed on our mail. And I know Cadence to be a good judge of character. It's part of what she is and who she is.
I'm sure she'd be able to tell the difference between a true friend and a fraud.

Ultimately, our crack investigation team tracked down the root of the problem. Sunset's name had been typed as 'Runset' on the list of on-ship profiles needed back in Canterlot before departure. When the poor intern couldn't find the profile for a pony who didn't exist, instead of daring to contradict his superior, he had simply taken her name off the list and Minuette's was added again by accident. In short, it was all because of a stupid typo! A pony had nearly been killed over a typo! Yes, I was ticked off. Sunset was a good pony, she was scared half to death by what happened.

(Interviewer's Notes: (Earth Pony): Yeah! It wasn't even like she had a spying cutie mark!)

Of course not. Do you know what an actual spying cutie mark looks like? No? Good, because there isn't one. Cutie Marks are strange things, but not only do I shudder to think how an adolescent pony might discover a special talent for spying but -- whatever unfathomable forces control how one's cutie mark actually manifests -- I doubt they'd advertise your special talent only to promptly make you useless at it. Spies don't 'look like' spies, basically, except in cheesy movies. Bond's cutie mark for example, isn't a compass rose or a spyglass like in theater, it's a radio.

(Interviewer's Notes: (Earth Pony): So how do cutie marks work in the military anyway? How do you find special talents for soldier stuff?)

Basically, most don't. Your talents are just likely to be useful. Military officers and NCO's above Corporal are usually career soldiers, with martial cutie marks about half the time. Most of the enlisted troopers below Corporal and the like, they're simply in the military to get a bit of experience so they have better shots at jobs using their true talents in civilian life or just to see Equestria beyond the town limits of, say, Savvaneigh or Ponyville.

Special talents are only sometimes used. Rarely is a special talent used all the time, like mine. For instance, there's little use in day-to-day soldiering for a Hoofball expert, or a tennis pro, but it does mean you get on the regimental teams pretty easily.

As for what happened next...

Upon return to the Embassy, I explained what had transpired to Thunderchild and the other hoofmaidens. The two of them were very concerned for their friend, but as it turned out she'd already shaken the whole thing off because she began rambling about 'amazing thermals' between the tall buildings, the second she was back. Thank Celestia. I'd been concerned she'd been traumatized for life. I mean... a pegasus saddled with acrophobia?

(Interviewer's Notes: (Pegasus): I shudder to think.

But Twinkleshine and Minuette seemed to think she still needed calming down, and they knew her better than me.

"Captain, can you please wake the Princess while we make sure Sunset is okay?" Minuette said, with puppy dog eyes. I could almost hear her say 'For real.'

"...Very well. Private Newcastle!" I said, noticing one of two female members of Sergeant Reinold's squad.

"Sir?"

"Newcastle, please wake the princess."

"Yes sir," the Zebra trooper replied.

And before any of your readers wonder? Rhyming Zebras aren't universal. I think it's a religious influence in some parts of Zebrafrica, and Private Newcastle's grandparents moved to Equestria from a part that did not rhyme. I think. It's not something I read a lot about. I'd know more when we actually visited there!

As for the very Equestrian name she has, well, her ancestral tribe named newborns after the first thing their father saw upon leaving the dwelling. Which was the recently built castle climbing frame in the playpark across the street. Her elder brother was very unfortunate, as the park was still being built, hence if you ever meet a Zebra called 'Construction Site'...

It would be when we were about to head to the Executive Nest, the Presidential residence, that I would see the peeved Hoofmaidens again. Cadence was by now very much awake, and gave me a small nod as she approached. Before we left though, we were to speak with Presidential Marshals Pierce, a bald eagle-type Griffin, and Kennedy, a Griffin who I felt had a rather strange mane style. Er, I mean, feather style. Long bangs, I think you'd call them.

"Good morning, Your Highness, I'm Special Agent Pierce. This is Special Agent Kennedy, he'll be one of your official Presidential Marshal escorts. The other agents will largely be under his command, but he will, of course, obey instructions where possible from your own guard detail."

"Pleased to meet you, Agents... Er, is that the right word?"

"It's as good a word as any, Your Highness." Kennedy told Cadence.

"I see. Apologies if I sound under-informed, but with regards to myself, what exactly will Agent Kennedy and his colleagues be doing?"

"Well, Princess, if there was to be any problem they would try and intercept it. Just a warning, if someone starts shooting they're prone to jumping onto you to provide cover," Pierce explained.

"Wait, Shining is my bodyguard, shouldn't he jump on top of me?" She said rather innocently.

There was some coughing and sputtering.

"...Sergeant, fetch yourself a glass of water. You too, Minuette," I instructed.
Was I blushing? Classified. Sorry.

"If he is so inclined to do so, ma'am, but he may not always be present. After all, there are some cloud-based areas you're set to visit," Pierce said in a monotone.

"Quite. Er, Sunset, did you get that cloud-walking spell?"

"Oh, er, yes, Your Highness. But with regards to the Captain, I think he has other things scheduled during most of your cloud-based visits, your Highness." Sunset explained.

"Ah. Anyway, I think we should head for the carriages now and make our way to the Executive Nest. We can't keep the President waiting," Cadence said.

I nodded agreement, and we made our way there, only for an embassy trooper to intercept me.

"Commander, can you come quickly to the communications room?" He asked after a quick salute.

"As long as it's the one in the embassy. Thunderchild, with me."

In a small room, I met the diplomat in charge of communications, a civil servant pegasus named Mister Signal. His room was very small, barely able to fit the three of us. The Embassy trooper left us.

Sadly, the embassy only ever received official mail, and post-onwards boxes always went to ships. Twilight would not be able to send letters to the embassy trying to get me or Cadence specifically unless Princess Celestia signed each one, and while she would do it, Twilight would likely not even consider it for fear of the problems the favoritism could cause or that Celestia had better things to do with her time. And Spike couldn't send them on either, anti-teleportation wards were around the embassy too.

"Commander, we've received some information that apparently, the press room over at the Executive Nest have been mistakenly given an incorrect file photograph of Princess Cadence this morning from us. It was supposed to be a headshot while sitting, but apparently, there was a camera accident as she stood up..."

"I'm not following the problem, here," I said, puzzled.

"Her head is not in the picture, Commander. She's... well, topless. The image should have been destroyed but was mislabeled and added to the press packs we sent out."

"Still not following the problem. So the pictures don't show her head, what's the big deal?"

"Well, sir, I think the problem is that instead of a picture of the Princess, the local press merely have a picture of her bottom," Thunderchild said.

"So we need to get one of her head to them instead," I said, dully.

"That as well, but her back may be all over the tabloid front pages, sir." Signal said.

This was when the penny dropped. We already had our hooves full, trying to defuse the scandal with Nightmare Moon. Having the local tabloids plaster Princess Cadence's bum over every front page would reduce her to an international laughingstock! Complaining would simply make it a bigger story. As a result Cadence would be constantly hounded, through every stop on the goodwill tour, by her own bottom.

Wait, that made a lot more sense at the time. Eh, I was half asleep.

"So... what do we do?" I asked.

"Canterlot wants you to take the correct pictures, and if possible, recover the rogue one. The press won't have them yet, but they'll be in the press officer's office. You'd have until ten AM, that's when the first press briefings take place usually. "

"I'll do what I can," I said, and we then moved towards the carriages, which by now were probably waiting for us.

"Plan A, explain to the Press Officer and ask nicely. Plan B... Audience?" I asked my Sergeant.

"Well, if you think he can do it, Sir..."

"You know he can if he has to, Thunderchild. Quiet word in his ear he might be needed."

"Very good, Sir. Take the pictures to you?"

"Ye-no. They'll be brought back to Signal to get them disposed of," I clarified.

"Probably for the best, Sir. I'm sure if you play your cards right you won't need a photograph."

"What the hay is that supposed to mean?" I asked, confused.

"The Hoofmaidens sung an amusing song when you left after delegating Private Newcastle to wake the princess."

"...Ignore them. It's probably a phase they're going through. Within a week I bet they'll think it'll be far more romantic that a Private should romance her," I opined.

"Actually, Sir, funny you should say that, reminds me of why the song was so amusing. Though I don't think they quite realized what they were saying when they sang 'so he sends his Privates to do the job for him'..."

Wide awake now. "What?!"

One amusing little note before we proceed. The journey out towards the President's residence took us past the edge of the city centre. Accordingly, Agent Kennedy drew our attention to a number of signs in the city as we made our way to the President.

"Song-and-Dance Numbers prohibited between Eight AM to Five PM Weekdays?"

The sign also showed an image of a goofy-looking pony with several eighth notes flying out of his open mouth. A large red X was drawn across him.

"...Traffic is often greatly impeded by spontaneous musical numbers erupting when Ponies become unusually enthusiastic about things. Especially in large crowds. While most Griffins can fly over the revelry, it still impedes cart traffic and greatly disrupts ground-bound pedestrians who aren't... vulnerable to those impulses. As a result, the LCPD have these restrictions in place during weekdays."

"How horrible!" Minuette squeaked.

"How intolerant!" Twinkleshine added.

"How unreasonable," the goddess of harmony and music responded on instinct.

"How wonderful..." I sighed.

I received some nasty looks from Cadence and her hoofmaidens, but it was worth it. I tried to enjoy the peace for as long as I could without falling asleep.

As we approached the Executive Nest -- a large white building in the eastern side of Liberty -- I must have been zoning out a little, as it took a nudge from Thunderchild for me to realize I was being addressed.

"She asked why you're to meet Lygriff," He quickly whispered.

"Ah, I'm not sure, Princess. I think it might be something to do with that incident earlier."

"What incident earlier?" She asked, puzzled.

"I mean last night, Your Highness, with that Hooviet bigwig?"

"Oh. Makarov. He's a strange one! I can't say I'd heard of him much either. The only Makarovs I know of were the House of Makarov, the former royal family of the Roedina before and during the first Civil War. Tsar Vladimir Makarov, Vladimir the Conqueror... apparently he lost a duel of Revolution Roulette against Nikolai Dante, a general of the House of Romanov. His death ended the war and ended the line of Makarov as a noble house," she noted in reply, looking in the distance.

I suspected this was nerves. After all, this was only the first full day of her trip in diplomatic terms, and she was about to have to explain to an ally why they'd been kept in the dark (no pun intended) about the late sunrise and the return of Princess Luna.

"That was over two hundred years ago though, Your Highness. When the Harmonists won the second civil war and deposed the Romanovs, they gave the noble family names to commoners, and I think 'Makarov' was revived in the city of Ivaneighvo. The Hooviets never took the names back after they won the third Civil War."

The hoofmaidens and Cadence stared at Private Audience in surprise.

"He reads," Gag quickly explained.

There was thankful silence from him as we passed near the Wingington monument, an obelisk spire. However, Minuette had a small coughing fit.
Not long after that we reached the Executive Nest. Fortunately, there wasn't a press presence that knew Cadence was meeting the President an hour early. Our meeting was technically to be held outside the residence proper, in the North Section, the Executive Offices. Still, these were the offices of a head of state, so it was naturally quite an elaborate place with marble, oak, and gold-feather decorations, as well as many paintings and the odd statue.

We were walked through the halls of the residence, and I spoke quietly to Cadence.

"Princess, Thunderchild and Gag will enter the room with you, while Audience and Apple will remain outside," I said.

"And you'll be meeting Lygriff?" She replied.

"Yes. And I think you should be a little less nervous, Cadence... Good luck with them."

Which naturally helped her towards being less nervous. Audience showing awareness of the history she referenced probably helped out a bit as well, but there had been enough time for her to start worrying again before we'd arrived.

"You too, Shining."

She was to meet the Presidents in the Lion Room, named for distantly related Presidents Teddy and Flanklin Lion, another pair of Pony presidents as it happened (I was beginning to wonder how many Griffins had been head of state of a country with a majority of and founded by Griffins). When we got there, I waited outside as she was taken in and introduced by the suited Griffin who opened the doors.

"Mister President, Mister President, I present to you Her Royal Highness Princess Mi Amore Cadenza Equestria..."

"If you'll follow me to Mister Lygriff's office in the North Section, Captain?" Agent Kennedy prompted.

I nodded and followed, but could still hear the voices from the room for a short while.

"Be careful of the Presidential Seal, Minuette."

"Eh?"

"Arf!"

"Wargh!"

I soon found myself facing the Chief of Staff and his Deputy.

"Good Morning, Mister Lygriff, Mister Airborn. May I extend my condolences to you on the passing of Mister McLeo."

"Good morning and thank you, Commander. I'm afraid we probably won't have much room for formality today, because we've got a pretty big pair of problems on our talons now. First up: Nightmare Moon. Why the secrecy?" Lygriff began.

"I can only apologize for that, it was a decision made in Canterlot."

"No, Commander, the Princess is the one who apologizes to the President and then hooves are shaken and all is well... in public. As for behind-closed-doors, off-the-record Reality? I have to let you know just how huge a mess this is. I guess your people planned to tell us today about Celestia's prodigal sister, and keep a lid on it until then?"

"That's right," I said carefully.

"And have you found Makarov's informant in your ranks? I can tell you now: odds are, you won't. Makarov is part of the second problem but the first, you might not fully understand. You ever heard the legend of the Great Destroyer?" Airborn cut in.

"A myth of a strange being with godlike powers that once ruled a foreign land and then ravaged the Griffin lands for amusement?"

"Actually, that was a trick question, there's two. There's one myth of that being you just describe... but there's ALSO a name given to a figure considered equally mythic... up until yesterday. Pop quiz: Name the historical figure I'm referring to by her Equestrian name."

"...Oh, no," I sighed.

"Oh yes. Nightmare Moon. You know the story of why there's three spellings of Griffin, right?" Lygriff came back in.

Cadence nodded.

"I think it used to be that the smaller clans and Knossos in the northwest of Gryffinia called themselves Griffins, the Griffonians called themselves Griffons, and a few other smaller nations use Gryphons as a spelling."

"Yep. And guess who, back in the days of antiquity, toppled the Griffonians by storming into a clan banquet of the Griffonian Imperial Family and assassinated the majority of the griffins there, leading to a succession crisis and civil war, ultimately sparking centuries of brutal war in the continent of Gryffinia seeing countless empires splinter into tribal and clan nations as the chaos spread and spilled into other lands?"

"Nightmare Moon?"

"Bingo. In fairness to her, though, it was all an accident waiting to happen and the Griffonians were massive dweebs," Lygriff noted.

"Really?" I asked.

"That is actually what the history books say about them. The war was certain to happen within a few years anyway and might even have been all the bloodier because it would have been between nobles and princes able to command larger forces. As it was, the weaker lords lived, to command their own small forces rather than be part of huge armies led by Princes." Airborn clarified. "And considering she was an Alicorn and ponies were on the menu at the time, her motivation is still suspect."

I blinked.

"The history books actually call them 'dweebs?'"

"Yep." said Lygriff.

"Yours don't?" asked Airborn. "Personally speaking, I'm perfectly happy to keep the past in the past. Different era, different standards... plus that thousand-year banishment to the moon ought to absolve her of whatever else she did back then. But I'd imagine once Princess Lunar's..."

"Luna." I corrects.

"Right." Airborn nodded. "Once her return becomes common knowledge... well, imagine all the major news networks, and they've got history buffs and mythology buffs being interviewed round-the-clock."

"A lot of griffins are going to want to un-bury the hatchet on Princess Luna, if you catch my drift." Airborn said. Then he blinked. "Oh, wait, I just remembered. Didn't the press office have some problem with some photographs in the press packs Canterlot supplied us?"

"Uh..." I said, recalling I was carrying replacements on my person.

"Oh, yes, the shots show her hindquarters. We were hoping to get these back to you since they were handed over in error. The press office left them with us for now, but should we hand them back to the Princess?"

"Er, no, I've actually been asked to apologize for that and hand over these replacements..."

I then removed the small bundle of replacements from within my armor, opened it, and...

...Was greeted by the exact same pictures I was apparently supposed to be removing.

"...Or not. Do you possibly have a camera spare somewhere?"

"I don't think it's a problem, Captain. The pack had enough normal photos, we were just puzzled as to why these were here when they, ah, don't quite capture her best side," Lygriff noted.

"A clerical error..." I said, putting away both the original mistaken pictures and the second set I'd been given.

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): Did ya keep any for yourself?)

NO!

"Anyway, back to Nightmare Moon..." Lygriff said.

"As opposed to a mooning Cadenza, of course," Airborn failed to resist.

I gave him a look of disapproval, as did Lygriff. I would have to introduce him to Running Gag.

We discussed the ramifications of Princess Luna's return. The Columbian heads-of-state assured us they understood 'the truth': Luna was not the one responsible and that the Nightmare was a separate entity that had possessed her body. Which was a total lie but more acceptable than a thousand years of criminal insanity bring cured by six pieces of magic jewelry.

They'd promised they'd do what they could, from their end, to bring the inevitable media firestorm to a swift conclusion. In time, Princess Luna would likely be deemed punished enough by most of the Gryffinian continent. Others, however, might continue harboring grudges on Nightmare Moon. Meaning that I had a job ahead of me, ensuring Princess Cadence was secure from terrorists wackos with a bone to pick, while Cadence tried to convince the world at large that Princess Luna was harmless - or at least had make sufficient amends.

(Interviewer's Notes: (Unicorn): Did it go on to pose any problems?)

Where it did, I'll cover it if I can. But mostly it just eventually led to having to apologize for our secrecy. Only a few of the more hardliner-traditionalists raised a fuss, demanding apologies for what befell their ancestors and seeking trade concessions and the like. None dared threaten either Luna or Cadence. For the most part, the ordinary Griffins hadn't been affected by the late sunrise, all they thought it meant was that Princess Celestia had been slacking off on her duties.

You could imagine everyone's relief!

But back to our talk with Lygriff and Airborn. Our further discussions with them were a little more troubling. The Columbians had far more intel on Makarov and were happy to share it with us. I'll just give you the highlights.

Makarov was well-known for exploiting diplomatic immunity, notoriously reliant on deniable operations, suspected of killing a number of rivals, (political and otherwise) had diverted resources from Hooviet operations in Zebrafrica, (supposedly some kind of overseas earthquake relief effort, believe it or not) in order to build up numerous super-powerful warships and arcane magic-based weaponry, (plus unsubstantiated rumors of abysmal eldritch thingamajigs from Somewhere Not Nice possibly being involved) and was reported to be very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, annoyed at me.

I was rather thankful Airborn and Lygriff weren't too upset with us, overall. Our meeting ended at about twenty past nine, as did the extension to Cadence's meeting with the Presidents. As a result, both meetings wound up merging for breakfast, but sadly, the press chose to show up. Bright camera bulbs are no fun for sleep-deprived eyes.

All I really recall from the actual breakfast meeting was that the Griffins have some strange breakfast stuff. They'd have a fried egg put on top of some meat (ham, sausage, bacon, or a mixture of any two or all three) and a slice of cheese inside a breakfast muffin.

We Equestrians mostly made do with the meatless variety, of course, as well as the pancakes that seemed to be all over the place. Lance-Corporal Apple wound up discussing and eating apples with a distant cousin on the President-Elect's staff. Turns out the Apples can move pretty far away from the tree after all.

After that, there wasn't much of interest. We returned to the Embassy, and Cadence had a visit to the city's weather factories around lunch, and even with the cloud-spell I had to delegate bodyguard duty to Pegasi and Griffin troopers. Cadence seemed puzzled by this when I said so.

"But why? You could easily come! The cloud-walking spell works, Sunset got the book earlier. Are you afraid of heights?" She joked.

"No, I've got to deal with the incident earlier."

"...Makarov?"

"No, Sunset."

"...What incident with Sunset?" She asked, taking a look at said hoofmaiden.

This was where I realized assumption is the mother of all mistakes.

"I'd assumed you'd been informed, Your Highness," I said, trying not to look around the room.

"...Uh, Sir, she wasn't. We all thought you'd told her," Apple noted.

"And we thought you were telling her, Captain," Twinkleshine said.

"What is all this?" Cadence said, by this point rather worried.

"There was an incident on the ship when Sunset was fetching the spell book. A small group of Naval Cavalry apparently acted without authorization and attempted to interrogate her over a clerical error that omitted her name from your entourage. It...got somewhat out of hand until Private Ranger intervened and interrupted them before anything serious could occur."

Cadence stared at me.

"...What? Anything serious? What were they doing? And what happened after that?"

"As far as I know, they sought to interrogate her. It was basically paranoia combined with her being in the wrong place at the wrong time. You'll receive the full reports on it from myself and Master Chief once we confirm exactly what has happened and what will happen, Your Highness."

"...Sunset is okay though, right? She was okay at the time, right, Commander?"

"Y-yes, ma'am. Private Ranger did stop it going any further like the Captain says..."

Cadence considered all this. "So what happens next?"

"Once we collect the evidence and find out what happened, we decide what punishments are merited, if any, you'll be given the reports and possibly if the Royal Guard troopers seek an appeal to any discipline you will be who they appeal to."

"Are they likely to appeal?" Cadence pressed leaning closer.

"I can't say, Princess. The investigation is non-judicial but a due process must be followed under military regulations, if I were to say they would appeal would mean you would know I'd made my mind up before following the due process, meaning that they'd instantly win any appeal. I need to have the reports and exchange them with Master Chief Spartan before any choice is made for it to be a fair process to all involved."

She sighed.

"I don't like not being told about things like this. I'm getting tired of ponies I trust keeping me in the dark. I'm your Commanding Officer, Captain. You're supposed to be reporting these matters to me or ensuring I am aware of them as soon as possible otherwise."

You may find it odd that this act didn't really affect me much. Not in the sense I was to ignore her orders, her reminder I'd been in dereliction of duty was fair and I accepted it then and now. It was the simple fact I agreed, that she was right and I had wronged. I'd received a few such dressing-downs in my time: I'm not perfect and I'd made mistakes in the past.

I was used to learning from errors and accepting a light reminder of what I was supposed to do - every guard from the lowest Private to the highest General has at some point been politely told off by the CO, someone they usually saw as a close friend or otherwise greatly respected in many cases. The polite, calm, diplomatic way got results because it meant you knew it wasn't an attack on you, it was merely instructing you on what was wrong and what to do next time.

Not that screaming and hollering doesn't have its place when you've really screwed up.

"I-in the Captain's defense, Ca-Princess, he thought you'd been made aware of it by other channels. And really, we should have told you, there's no need to be harsh with the Captain!" Twinkleshine said.

"...I know. Just..." Cadence dropped her mask of formality. "Shining, please try to either let me know about things or make sure I already know if I don't. To be honest, I... I think you're handling whatever happened the best way now that I think about it, and Sunset's okay so I suppose nothing too serious happened. I'm just disappointed it took an accident for me to find out. That goes for you three as well."

The hoofmaidens all bowed their heads.

"I can only apologize, Your Highness."

"Apology accepted. But I really wanted you up there at the Weather Factory..."

Once that was dealt with, Cadence seemed to be a little more cheered up before she left, though she seemed very disappointed still at the whole mess. I had the Pegasus guards (and other volunteers who were okay with the cloud-walking spell) go with her. I then interviewed the three, making sure to try and check for inconsistencies in their official story. I went to make the full reports based on what they had said.

And then something odd happened. Sitting in my room, writing up reports for Master Chief, a chill went down my spine. I felt like I was being watched. I looked out of the window and swore I saw a distorted shape moving in the garden outside. Seeing it made me feel strange...scared...

I rushed downstairs to investigate, alerting a few Marines and embassy guards, but... nothing. There was no trace of anything. No hoof or claw prints, nothing. I was confused, for I had been certain of what I saw. And upon returning to my room, I found that the reports I'd been writing were gone. Yet my door had been closed, the windows locked, and the guards in the corridor reported nothing entering or leaving when I was gone.

Now, tell me... what would be the logical conclusion?

(Interviewer's Notes: (Pegasus): You fell asleep, dreamed writing the reports, and the dream became a mini-nightmare?)

That's exactly what I went with. It was all that made sense. I'd sat down to write them, but I'd actually fallen asleep letting fatigue catch up, but for whatever reason, I was startled out of the dream and caused a false alarm. I was merely tired and once I had the reports truly written and sent off, I could try and get a real nap before I would be needed again. It was all that made sense, I thought. Made sense with how sleep deprived I was.

Remember what I said about thinking about things like that?

Once the reports were done, and compared, Master Chief and I both decided that Ranger was absolved of being formally disciplined, but he was given a verbal warning not to rush in without orders. The trio of Naval Cavalry received dressing-downs too, and Beaver found himself given a full non-judicial punishment: Written Warning and additional duties in the form of latrine cleaning for a month in addition to his shore leave being canceled and irregular restriction to quarters and having to submit himself to a full psychological review. Neither of the two hardest-punished troopers protested to higher-ranked officers... namely, the commanders of the ships or Cadence herself. Cadence almost icily accepted the punishment handed to the ponies who had come close to killing one of her friends. She may be a loving goddess, but seeing them with that look on her face was truly scary.

Cadence returned around two in the afternoon once all had been wrapped up, and held informal meet and greets with a few other ambassadors, as well as a few Equestrian citizens who had begun to arrive in town for the upcoming Presidential Inauguration, or possibly to meet with foreign business interests who were also visiting.

It turned out though I never really found time for a nap. I wound up asked to look over some extra security things, some false leads filtered in about the spy so I wound up wasting time going back and forth between the ships for much of the afternoon. I wound up stumbling towards dinner, awake for thirty-six hours or more.

Cadence noticed at dinner, however. It was her, the ambassador, some other embassy staff, me, her hoofmaidens, and my squad. I think I've imagined the furry blue elephant in the corner discussing philosophy with Miss Smarty Pants. Though there may have been an actual Elephant present, I can't remember.

"Shining, are you feeling okay? You look rather tired."

"Just a long day, Your Highness. I missed lunch with a small matter I had to deal with."

Thunderchild remained stone-faced nearby.

"You look like you were up all night, Captain," Sunset noted.

"Hm... This morning you said 'earlier'," Cadence said.

"...Pardon, Your Cadence?"

"In the carriage going to see the Presidents. You seemed a little out of it then as well until Thunderchild got your attention, and then you said the thing with Makarov was earlier, not last night. And I heard about you thinking you saw a intruder earlier."

'Horseapples. She heard about that?' I thought.

"Also you just said that out loud."

...At least at the time I thought I thought it.

"...Okay, I confess, I accidentally stayed up all night reading the reports I received."

Cadence gave a triumphant and amused smirk.

"I knew it! It IS Genetic!"

"That's what I said, ma'am," Thunderchild helpfully added.

"...Traitor," I grouched at him.

"Commander, perhaps you should retire early for the night. We can't have you over-exerting yourself," Minuette added.

I conceded her point.

"Perhaps you're right, ma'am. Princess, permission to leave the table?"

"Well, it's that or I'll order you to go to bed." Cadence smirked supporting her muzzle with one hoof, "And I also know every trick in the book for getting stubborn Sparkles to go to bed. Want to see?"

There was a cough.

"Minuette, honestly, you should get some throat sweets or something," Cadence noted, as I stood up to leave.

"Good night, everyone, I suppose," I said, leaving. As I left I heard Lance-Corporal Apple talking about his cousin instead Applejack, who apparently had a habit of overworking herself and somehow ending up in a worse state of sleep deprivation than I presently was in. Had to be one of his tall tales again. You'd assert to that right Princess Smarty Pants? I knew you would. Huh? Why are you looking at me like that?

I made my way to my room, but I thought I heard a noise as I neared it.

"...Did you hear a dog or something?" I asked a Marine. Maybe dog was the wrong word, it sounded more, something.

"Sir, negative, I don't believe I heard anything, Sir."

I sighed.

"Never mind, I'm probably just that tired I'm hearing things."

He gave no response as I entered my room. I took off my armor, and lay on the bed. I think I was out the second before I hit the pillow.

There was a roaring in my ears, a savage and brutal cacophony of noise. It was the Victors League Semi-Final between Foalventus, and... Trottenham. The infernal Lillywhites, with their smug white shirts and their annoyingly cute and (even then) very easy to hate Cockatrice mascot based on their emblem of one of those beasts sitting on top of a hoofball.

But over the din and my own distaste for that around me, I heard a gentle yet commanding voice.

"You seem nervous, Lieutenant."

I was confused as I looked at who had spoken to me. Captain Sharpe beside her looked amused, and Princess Celestia had an eyebrow raised as she addressed me. It would figure as my patrol route passed the royal box she'd distract herself from her own boredom with something other than the game.

"Er, no, Your Majesty, just... trying to stay alert," I said.

I knew she was only here because Trottenham had invited her, and this game was a big event for their team and supporters. Almost as big an event as bath night but not as rare...

And the event had probably been magnified in stature simply by the knowledge the Princess would be here. Even the Itallion supporters had been looking at the Royal Box in awe, and lulls in play saw the ponies (and one griffin) on the pitch glance upwards at the Sun Princess. Some ponies seemed more interested in her than the game, which was understandable, but didn't make my job any easier.

I felt sympathy for her. I knew that it actually did upset her a little she wasn't into this sport, given that Hoofball was so traditionally the exact kind of classless, everypony sport that mirrored Equestrian values, and had been so since its inception. All you needed was a ball and a set of hooves. And maybe something to mark the goalposts.

Compare to Cloudball, pegasus-only, Rodeos normally only attended by Earth ponies, or Golf, almost entirely the preserve of rich middle to upper class unicorns. And then there's bat-based sports that put Pegasi and Earth Ponies at a handicap...

Then again, even if she did like the sport, I could understand why Trottenham getting played off the park by Foalventus was boring, especially since nopony had scored yet.

A tabloid article written by (surprise surprise) Sunny Day years before had leaked that Princess Celestia found the entire sport 'coma inducing.' Sometimes I think that mare lives to make the Princess' life miserable.

"Really, Lieutenant Sparkle, you should relax a little. It's not like we're surrounded by enemies. Just Hoofball fans. Enjoy the game," Sharpe said without a trace of his obvious gleefulness.

I nodded a weak reply, looking at the fearful sea of white below. Celestia wasn't surrounded by enemies, but I was. I had every right to be paranoid...

"Relax, Shining, it's not like they know you're a Maresenal fan. It's not like they can smell it..." Thunderchild reassured as we continued the patrol around the stands being just smart enough to whisper it.

"Fair point, Sergeant. I could always be even unluckier I guess. I could support Sheffoald United..."

"Just don't let Captain Sharpe hear you saying that, Sir. Again, at least."

"...or I could prefer racing. Big whoop, running or flying in circles..." I needled the Sergeant for his own sporting preferences.

"The fighting for position is fierce sir, Sir. Besides, I'm sure even you could appreciate some of the Wonderbolts lineup this year. The new Captain, Spitfire..."

He seemed to be in another place at that time. Which is where I wanted to be but nope, I was stuck in the midst of an army of my most bitter foes...

"I'm as willing to admit the merits of tight flight suits worn by obviously athletic mares as anypony, it's just not something that really seems all that exciting given those suits are attached to blurs for about an hour," I responded to him, returning him from the daydreams of wingspans and certain curvatures.

"Ah, so you'll stick to posters."

"Ye-no. I don't do posters, Thunderchild, you know that."

At that moment, Foalventus scored, and I had to hold back a shout of joy lest I be lynched on the spot. The groans and howls of disappointment around me helped that effort. One yelp of pain was rather...

...Loud.

I was awake, the dream of that ultimately amusing three-nil rout fading. It was now sometime after twenty-three hundred. I'd been asleep for a precious three or four hours. And I could have sworn the yelp came from outside my room. I yanked on my armor, helmet as well, and looked outside.

The first thing I noticed was the corridor was empty. It was a few rooms, quarters for soldiers, but there was a window at the end of the corridor and a stairwell down. Usually, a couple of Marines or Embassy Guards stood around here even during the night. But now it was empty, and darkened.

And the window was open.

I lit up my horn with a light-spell, shining the glow down the corridor.

The black dog-like shape initially seemed more surprised than I was until my tired brain got the message my eyes were screaming at it.

Before that, though, the Diamond Dog raised his spriling pistol and shot me dead. The end.

(Interviewer's Notes: (Earth): ...What?)

(Interviewer's Notes: (Pegasus): Cap', you're messing around, right?)

Yes. Yes, I am. What gave it away?

(Interviewer's Notes: (Unicorn): Okay, what really happened, since clearly he didn't shoot you dead?)

Actually, I raised a shield up the second he moved for it. Waste of good mana, he missed by a mile. Not that I'd have done any better. But better safe than sorry. And that's when I raised the alarm.

Episode 88: (Dark World) Duel Of Tears

Pony POV Series
Dark World Part 16
Duel of Tears

Traitor Dash called out, "Twilight! Please let me kill you!"

Spike brought his wings and claws around Twilight silently watching TD's every move. Rarity and Applejack put themselves between their friends. Derpy looked at Traitor Dash in horror for her. Apple Pie had the common sense to know she was supposed to stay quiet under AJ's illusion.

Rarity spoke before Twilight could, "Flat out ASKING this, Rainbow darling? Not a very treacherous. And isn't this being rather loyal to Discord?"

"Yeah, yeah!" Traitor Dash wailed. "I can't even do my Element of Chaos right, I get that already! Geeze! But I don't have a choice!"

This time Twilight found her voice, "Rainbow Dash! There's always a choice!"

Traitor Dash shook her head, "That's sometime ponies tell themselves to TRICK themselves into thinking they're in control of their lives! Our choices are ripples in a tidal wave!"

Derpy flew up in a completely non-hostile manner, until she was almost eye to eye with Traitor Dash.

Loyalty called out to Treachery, "Dash, do you remember, back in grade school? How the whole class was going to see the Wonderbolts? But you couldn't because your grades were so bad? But you tried your hardest to catch up... and you got a 'D-' on your test? And you screamed that I must have cheated because I got an 'A+?' I was so happy that day, I didn't care about the trip, I just wanted my parents to smile at me... and after you began spreading rumors I cheated, mom began to wonder if I did... and she never hugged or kissed me again, she called me 'that filly.' Like-like she finally had found an excuse to!... " Derpy choked, a bit, then recovered herself, "And I forgive you! I've aways forgiven you! I know how it hurts to disappoint others! Never being good enough!... And I've never hated you for it."

"... D-don't ... don't you get it!?" Dash slowly shook her head, "One foalhood mistake... doesn't change a thing! I can't do ANYTHING without hurting others, even back then! There is no redemption for mares like me!"

"Say that all you want, Rainbow Dash! But you're not convincing any of us!" Rarity snapped.

AJ smiled at Traitor Dash. "Come on, Rainbow, what's one more betrayal? Against old Discord this time?"

"That's just it, Liarjack, I was never loyal to Master. I've hated his guts from day one."

"Then WHY are you still doing what he says?" Rarity asked in disgust.

"Because there is no way to win! We're TOYS and PETS to him! This is all just a game to him! But there is a way out. Discord promised if-"

"-if you kill the pony who matters most to you, that he'll put everything and everypony back the way they were before the day of chaos began," Twilight finished. "So then it was me you were referring to all those nights?"

Derpy's eyes widened, Spike clutched Twilight tighter. Rarity took a trot forward her horn glowing. Apple Pie let out a silent gasp. Traitor Dash nodded.

"Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy are as good as dead. The AJ and Rarity I knew don't exist anymore. Scootaloo is already dead. That leaves just you, Twilight."

The Elements of Honesty and Deceit face hoofed together.

"Ah come on RD!" AJ exasperated.

"How can you be serious-?!" Rarity exclaimed in irritation.

"No, I stand by what I said." Traitor Dash said, casting flat looks at them both. "If you two were to suddenly disintegrate into piles of ash, at this very moment, the most I might do is sneeze if some of it got in my nose. I am just that disgusted with what you two have become."

Spike growled ready to eat Traitor Dash where she flew. Derpy slowly shook her head.

"Dash, Ah'm openly rebellin' against Discord, it's safe to say ya can drop the act towards me, partner," AJ said calmly.

"Oh sorry LJ. Wait! You're still loyal to Discord Liarjack!?"

" AGH! AH'm NOT SPEAKIN' BACKWARDS NOW! Ah hate pears! Ah've lied a million times to protect ponies from Discord! And Ah'm THROUGH hidin' behind that lie of a name, it's Applejack, like it's always been."

"So yah apologize ta Applejack dis instant!" The invisible Apple Pie shouted forgetting stealth.

"HUH?!" Traitor Dash looked around, "I'm hearing Apple Bloom's ghost now?"

"MORON! That isn't the welcome I expected for my soul coming back from the dead!" Rarity shouted providing a needed distraction. "Do you think I'd be with Twilight if I was still delusional-?! Do you see me grabbing every bolder or rock around? Yes, that's right, my 'gems' were ROCKS."

Bits of reality came crashing down on Traitor Dash's underused brain as the truth hit her.

"And Ah wasn't speakin' 'bout that! Ya know Discord keeps his words like a drunken sailor keeps bits! Yer outta yer noggin' thinkin' he'd EVAH stay true to somethin' like that?!!"

"Actually, yeah, Big Brother would. Do you know why no 'equus has ever gone back on a promise sworn on Mom's name? . . . Cause once they did, they never existed anymore."

"It's a wonder we're not ambushed more often," Rarity deadpanned as TD looked behind herself.

"There's more than one?!" Spike yelped.

'Discord has a mother?' The idea did not compute for Twilight.

"Or maybe Big Banana Discord decided being a girl would be a fun change of pace." Apple Pie mused, too quietly to be heard.

"Ya see, big brother gave his word on Our Parents, he'd hold up his end. And even he's not that crazy to cross Dad or Mom."

"Wha-wha-wha are YOU doing here-?!" Traitor Dash asked.

"Just here to help. I'll keep the others busy while you focus on your target, I can even help you take out the unicorn, if you like. I don't care who kills who, I just need to get enough hits in to get in Big Brother's good graces."

"NO WAY! I am NOT having Discord cheat me by having you do most of the work, then saying I didn't do it!"

" . . . I see your point. Fine. Follow your passions and bring violence onto others. Just wanted to help."

"You know where you can shove your help, you... you... sister of Discord!"

"Rainbow Dash is still Rainbow Dash," Twilight heard herself sigh.

The ponies couldn't believe what they were seeing. A menagerie of extinct animals connected to a snake like body and a horse's head. The figure was younger and more feminine than Discord, and sported an ear piercing. On her back, she was also carrying a black spear, decorated with a pink ribbon and skull.

"Oh come on! Another Draconequus shows up JUST as we get our heads together and get ready to rock up old Discord?! That's cheatin'!" Applejack cursed.

Rarity glanced at her, "You expected less from spirits of chaos?"

" . . . No."

"I'm very very very VERY confused right now," Derpy admitted.

"Huh? Oh! Hi!" She waved her Tasmanian wolf paw, "I'm Rancor, spirit of passions, violence, and revenge. I guess I'm sitting out this one, so don't mind me. Don't let me crush your passion to win, I'm not as destructively powerful as Dissy, yet."

Traitor Dash turned her back on the newcomer, "Twilight! Please! I-" She shivered, "I beg you. Just let me kill you. Then everything can go back to the way it was! Everypony can be HAPPY and ALIVE! This is to save the world! Don't be selfish!"

"RD we CAN save the world! We can heal the world! We can defeat Discord! And you can help us do that!" Applejack called.

"Defeating Master is how the world WON'T be fixed, ever! This is the only way! He doesn't think I have the guts to do it! But he screwed up! I've found the guts now! And he's agreed himself into a corner! He says he'll just find another world and leave our alone! That means everything will be back to normal!"

'How is the world not normal?' Apple Pie wondered. Not having Big Moving Projector Discord around to hurt more ponies was going be great and all, but how was the world hurt? The worst thing Apple Pie could think of right now was the sky stuck in that ugly weird 'half-way' between night and day thing Half-Light said was her namesake.

"If we're still friends, then TRUST ME!" Traitor Dash begged. "I promise... it'll just be a heartbeat of pain, and then you won't even be dead... and we'll be back to the good old days! Friendship reports! Princess Celestia in power! Six wonderful, caring, sane friends!" She hiccuped and a tear rolled down her cheek. "We'd be TRUE heroes with nothing to feel ashamed about!"

Twilight's lip quivered. 'If Apple Pie hadn't helped me see these ponies are real, I might have taken you up on that, but now,'
"This isn't about me! Not when they're finally hope! I don't get to judge who deserves to exist more!

"No Dash! If you really trust your friends, you will NOT accept that offer! Not now! Not ever! I'm not going to cheat fate! I'm not going to doom another world to Discord! And I'm not going to make the friends I've made disappear! Come on Dash, let's fight Discord together."

(Traitor Dash is making her own fate, something I'd say puts her above ponies who just submit to it. Her problem is that she's putting it into the hands of another. Fool.)

She's just scared and confused!

(Most pawns of fate are.)

"What friends?" Traitor Dash asked narrowing her eyes.

Twilight realized her mistake. But that was when Rancor teleported right in Twilight's face. Spike brought his free claw down, but Rancor caught with her moa claw, and catching Derpy with her rear paw, creating a shockwave of air from the impacts, not even looking at them.

Rancor narrowed her eyes at Twilight. Twilight felt those eyes measuring up her soul. "I see, so that's how it works. Didn't expect that." Rancor let go of Spike and Derpy and floated away not ceasing her look at Twilight. "By the way, thanks for my ribbon."

"What?"

"Huh? Oh right, never mind." Rancor then looked to the dragon and Pegasus. "By the way, you really put yourself into those hits, you can only really see how passionate someone is when they're fighting to protect it."

Rarity felt her spirit shudder as Rancor then turned those eyes upon her, and let out a fan-girlish squeal.

A photograph of a rock band appeared in one claw, the lead being a pink earth pony with a blue mane. A pen appeared in her opposite paw, she offered both to Rarity, zooming in front of her.

"Oh, man! I never expected this! I haven't lived a mortal life, yet, so I can't enter the spirit-life, but oh man! This is so cool!" Rancor hopped up and down.

Derpy and Spike looked at each other. Twilight and TD did the same.

"Can you sign it please? So what's your name now? Oh doesn't matter too much."

Rarity was aghast. "You have to be joking! You just appear out of nowhere, offer to be an accomplice to Rainbow Dash murdering Twilight, and now you want my autograph?!"

"Look, I'm sorry, seriously, this is nothing personal, it's family, which is about the one thing my family CARES about. Want me to break Gray Rainbow's wings for you?"

"W...what?! Whose side are you on?!" Rarity gasped.

(Whoever she is, she's not to be trusted in the least.)

"Now hold on!" Traitor Dash snarled.

"I wanted to live a life as a pony for the sole purpose of attending one of your concerts in person but Mom and Dad had a discussion about that... and so I'll have to content myself with watching your videos. Long story short, this is kinda my only real chance to get one from you for a WHILE."

"What concerts?!" Rarity asked, "What are you talking about?! I started life as a fashionista, then became an... uh, well... what's a good term for what I am...?"

"Rock witch?" Derpy suggested.

"Good heavens, Derpy, how derogatory!"

"The word you're looking for is Geomancer," Twilight said naturally.

"Thank you Twilight. And while I have a most beautiful voice, if I do say so myself, I have never perform in any musical concerts!"

'What's wrong with being a witch? Magica's grandma is one,' Apple Pie thought.

"Sure, sure. Regardless, in exchange for your autograph, I'll break the pegasus' wings. What do you say? It'll give you an edge when the fight starts!"

"If you're trying to hurt mah-"

"Cool it, Cow-Pony, I already promised Gray Rainbow I wasn't gonna fight any of YOU until she'd had her try, and I can work with that."

"Ah was talking about hurting RAINBOW."

Ignoring Applejack, Rancor actually got down on her knees floating a few inches off the ground. "So please, come on? Please? Please please please please?"

"But WHY do you want an autograph from me?" Rarity blushed.

"Your soul has a certain . . . beat that rocks to it. Little princess. No matter how many times the universe reinvents you, you make such passionate, sweet music, a melody."

"It shames me one of your kind would love my voice."

"HEY! THAT RACIST!"

"Ah hate ta say it Rarity, but she's right."

"And by 'your kind,' I, of course, meant a thug who is so casual with violence-"

"I am violence. It's my job. And as for 'my kind' don't go lumping us all together. Dissey has stuff inside him I really admire, but my brother Anarchy has been cheering for you every step of the way and my sister Pandora is hoping you'll pull off a happy ending after a thousand years of monotone tragedies. Now please? I'm asking nicely. And this isn't part of contrived arcane ritual or some junk. I promise: this is a photo, not some tricksy magic contract, even if I was into those things. Just so when the dust settles we have something to remember each other by."

Rarity leaned a little closer, examining Rancor's photo. As creepily stalker-ish a fangirl as this creature was... Rarity couldn't deny her curiosity had been piqued.

"Listen, Miss Rancor, if... by some miracle, this fight ends with us being on even semi-friendly terms... any chance you'd be willing to give me a sample of... uh... my music? I'm interested to hear how I'm supposed to sound."

"I'd be happy to, but I'm not in a position to give you one right now, and by the time-"

"Wait!" Twilight asked. "Earlier, you'd said something about getting into your big brother's good graces. So are you Discord's SISTER?"

"His little sister. Mom and Dad sent me to take care of him. And I can't do that unless he trusts me enough."

"Just how many spirits of chaos are there?" Twilight gasped.

"Zero. Dissy's disharmony now and we're stuck doing double shifts. Pandora's the spirit of imagination, Anarchy's the spirit of revolution, and Strife's the spirit of natural selection. And My Parents don't play from the same source book, they helped write your source book."

'Strife,' Twilight's, or rather Minty's memories echoed.

"So," Rarity cut in, as Twilight shivered where she stood, "What does the rest of your family think of what Discord's done to Equestria? And why did you come to take care of him now?"

"Sorry, that's family business, sorry. I got handed this responsibility as part of my rite of passage, Dad says. And I think I kinda interrupted a passionate cut-scene."

Rancor cast a look back at Traitor Dash, who was beginning to turn purple at being brushed aside.

"So... autograph? Yes or no?"

Rarity narrowed her eyes. "You're not lying." Rarity quickly scrawled her name. She gasped as the name shifted multiple time on the picture. "What is this?"

Rancor put away the picture. "I'm a spirit, madam. To me, mortal names are just... well, imagine a popular veteran actress who's played many, many different characters over a long career. You've had many names over the revisions to reality... but they're just 'names,' all of whom were played magnificently by you. I know your real name. Oh and- THANK YOU SO MUCH!"

She took Rarity's hoof and shook it madly. "Now, as promised!"

She teleported behind Traitor Dash, broke the base of her wing where it connected at her shoulders. There was a crack and a howl from Traitor Dash. Apple Pie squeezed her eyes shut as the pegasus fell but Twilight caught her with her magic.

"Twilight, please, just let me kill you, and everything can finally be fixed," Traitor Dash pleaded, as her broken wing began healing itself.

"No Rainbow Dash, I'm sorry, there are too many ponies depending on me."

"They're depending on me too."

"Okay!" Rancor stabbed her spear in the ground and sat cross legged style. "Two passionate souls out to save the world! Let's see whose heart is stronger!" Everyone glared at her. "What?"

"Away," Rarity said sternly.

"Ah, come on."

"Go," Rarity said in a no-nonsense manner. "You've been enough of an intrusion already."

"Oh alright. Just for you." Rancor teleported several miles away until she was a dot in the sky and took out some binoculars. "Okay, girls, let's see where your hearts lead you."

Since her wing had now fully healed, Traitor Dash flew away from Twilight, gaining distance.

"Rainbow Dash! Wake up! Please! This isn't you! It's never been you!" Twilight said.

"Rainbow Dash no longer exists!"

"Liar!" Rarity said intensely.

Traitor Dash conjured a storm cloud from the water in the air and fired shots of lightning right at Twilight's head. Twilight teleported out of Spike's protective grasp when Spike tried to shield her and appeared a distance from the group.

Derpy tried to tackle TD, while Spike tried to fly and catch her in his mouth, but TD pushed the storm cloud in their way and made a new one and continued her single profile attack. Rarity tried to simple grab her, but TD's trademark speed made that impossible. Twilight teleported randomly as the lightning bolts kept coming down.

"COME ON AND FIGHT LIKE A MARE! Or don't! I don't care! I just want this nightmare to be over!! So what if you killed Discord NOW? For what? A dead world full of monsters? The unicorns and pegasi are GONE! This is the only way to fix EVERYTHING! And if you weren't being so selfish you'd see that too! But no! Miss Twilight Sparkle The Chosen One has to 'save the world' HER WAY OR THE HIGHWAY! Guess what, Twilight? JUST 'CAUSE IT'S YOUR WAY DOESN'T MAKE IT THE BEST WAY!"

(Yes. Because there's the one right way to do something, and then there's everything else.)

"The seaponies, Virgacorns, and Hippogriffs are here! The world ain't dead, where there's life there's hope!" Applejack shouted.

TD's attempts to electrocute Twilight was disrupted by the coordinated efforts of the others. Rarity fired a hail of small stones at the pegasus. Spike shot fire, and Derpy provided lightning of her own from above, and AJ added several illusionary lightning bolts to mess with Traitor Dash's senses.

"For Celestia's sake, Dash, please stop ya can't take on the whole kit and caboodle of us!"

"I don't want to fight ANY of you!" A real lightning bolt fried one of her wings, "I just want to kill Twilight!"

"Liar. You don't want to kill her," Rarity said.

"ENOUGH!" TD snarled. Her eyes shone like demonic rubies. "TREACHERY!"

Transparent red chains exploded out of four of the heroes like ghosts, wrapped around them and overriding motor functions.

"May your bodies betray you," Traitor Dash intoned.

Rarity, Spike, AJ, and Derpy looked at each other and themselves in dismay as their bodies calmly trotted backwards and assumed a simple sitting position several yard away, their mouths shut and their eyes only able to look forward. Rarity tried to use her magic only for a chain to wrap itself around her horn. Camouflage magic in one spot flickered away until Apple Pie was again visible. But thankfully, Traitor Dash's attention was focused elsewhere, so Apple Pie did the smart thing and ran to the others.

Twilight shivered like she had been given an electric shock, "Rainbow Dash! You-you-you-WHEN DID DO YOU LEARN THAT?"

"About eight hundred years ago! Like this!"
Traitor Dash kicked her storm cloud and it broke apart. One piece stayed near TD. A red lightning bolt erupted from from this miniature cloud...

The bolt interconnected rapidly with the the other smaller clouds, two, four, eight...

Sixteen...

... thirty-two red lightning bolts at once shot at where Twilight stood.

Twilight teleported away, only be be hit by another nest of lightning bolts that hit just as she reappeared.

"NEWS FLASH, TWILIGHT: I'VE HAD A THOUSAND YEARS TO LEARN YOUR TELEPORT STYLE!"

Twilight would have responded if her central nervous wasn't busy regenerating. TD dove into her from above, spinning like a drill, digging into her body and pushing her into the ground.

"Like 'em-?! I've been saving them all for you!! LIGHTNING BLADE!" Red electricity crackled around one wing making it stiffen like a sword and lopped off Twilight's horn.

"Why-why aren't you having the others hold me down while you kill me? You have control over their bodies."

Traitor Dash couldn't suppress a slight, wry grin. "Only YOU, Twilight, would argue tactics in the middle of your own beatdown."

Twilight said calmly, "Un-unless you're scared Discord will use that as an excuse to-"

"I told you! I have nothing against them!"

"So why didn't you use those chains on me? You think it won't work on me. Or do you want me to be able to fight back."

"Sorry, Twilight!" TD slammed a hoof into her skull breaking it, "But I'm not taking the bait!"

"Stop it Rainbow Dash!"

A pair of hooves pulled at TD's shoulders, wrenching her off Twilight and pulling her out of the circular crater-grave they had made. The two pegasi spun in the air. TD's entire body was suddenly charged like an electric eel's, shocking Derpy off her body. The grey pegasus bounced off the checkered ground, thankfully missing any rocks. Derpy shook her head and got back up.

"If Ditzy is here..." Traitor Dash mused. "Then that means... when did you free Ditzy?!"

"I-I didn't," Twilight gasped.

(That was information you did not need to volunteer!)

Derpy shook her head an got back up, knocking her head a few times causing sparks to fly off.

"Come on!" Apple Pie shouted at Applejack's prone form. "Budge!"

AJ would have screamed at Apple Pie to hide if she could move her mouth.

"Wait... is that? She's, she's the filly that Master spared! Did SHE free you?!"

"No, she didn't. I did," Derpy said.

(Stop it! You don't explain your advantages to the enemy!)

"You have got to be kidding me! Treachery!" Red ghostly chains emerged from Derpy again.

"Loyalty." Light glimmered around Derpy and the chains shattered.

"Ditzy Doo . . . heh, so you became Loyalty after all," TD smiled sadly, "You always have a way of messing things up don't you?"

"Sorry. I guess I kinda do."

"I'm sorry too, but I can't let you get in my way." TD rammed her so hard she went flying across the sky. "Don't worry Derpy! You and Dinky will be fixed up after I kill Twilight Sparkle!"

"I'm not Twilight Sparkle."

TD found herself trapped levitated by Twilight's spell aura. She futilely flapped her wings.

"Huh?" TD looked to see Twilight healed and out of the hole.

"Yeah! She's Half-Light!" Apple Pie couldn't resist saying to the big bad half-hippogriff.

"Apple Pie! Keep back!"

"I agree!" Chains formed around AP and her body moved mechanically away from the two to the 'safe zone' TD had apparently set aside for the others.

"Did you let her tag along Twilight Sparkle?! I can't believe you'd put foals in the line of fire! Whose Half-Light?! Are you a changeling?! Where's the real Twilight?!"

"I couldn't have stopped her. Crazy Pies and stubborn Apples. You know them both so you should know!" Twilight smiled at her.

(Good for you not tipping your hoof.)

'Thank you. I know Discord is watching.'

"And I am the real Twilight, but I'm not Twilight Sparkle. I've given up that version of me. I am now Twilight The Unicorn. Nothing more or less."

"You're... you're saying you're a NEW persona?" Traitor Dash whispered. "Not Tragedy, not Sparkle... some THIRD version?"

"I'm sorry Rainbow Dash, but you can't kill Twilight Sparkle, because that pony no longer exists. There's no way to fulfill your bargain with Discord." In a dark part of Twilight The Unicorn's mind, she wondered if Traitor Dash would see herself as the most important pony to her now . . . except the mountains of self loathing made that impossible, Twilight almost wondered if that had been intentional on Discord's part.

A storm broke.

"No! You're lying, yourelying,YOURELYING!"TD vibrated, -right out- of Twilight's skin tight cage. "LYING WON'T SAVE YOU, TWILIGHT SPARKLE! Good-bye! And thank you, for the most wonderful year I had with Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, and yeah, Rarity too!"

TD flew towards Twilight, fireballs, bolts of ice and lasers fired at TD, she flicked out of sight at the last instant before they'd made contact to appear a few yards away.

'She's been this fast this whole time?!'

(Be careful! She's spent a thousand years preparing to kill you! Expect the unexpected! Rely on the unorthodox!)

Instead of trying to ram her, Traitor Dash zoomed up at a right angle at the last moment.

"Vacuum Storm!" Dash began spinning, a tornado formed around them, the air was ripped from Twilight's lungs.

She followed her first instinct and teleported away-

(No, don't! She said-)

-And rocks speared and pinned her legs, unable to regenerate as a lightning bolt hit her horn, frying it.

"I could predict your teleports in my sleep, Twilight! Sorry if you're counting on me getting in close. Lighting-Scythe!"

'Actually, yeah, I was hoping you'd close in for the kill so I could blind you with a flare spell.'

Another new move, like all the rest. A curved edge made of more red lightning came down at the perfect angle to bisect Twilight's brain.

A blind and gray comet collided with the lightning construct, electrifying her (again).

"You feather brain!"

"My bad!"

"Derpy! Stop interrupting already!" TD shouted like Derpy had fumbled another Winter Wrap-Up. "What are you made of-?!"

"Love?"

Traitor Dash's brain broke, "That's-You-Isn't-AGH!"

In the distance, Rancor laughed. "And the score is 30-Luv in favor of blonde!"

'You said use the unorthodox right? Then I can't think like Twilight Sparkle, I need to think like Discord!'

(What?!)

'Watch and see!'

Twilight slammed her blackened sparking horn on the checkered ground, shattering it, it was faster to regenerate a new one.

"Dtizy Doo!" Traitor Dash was shaking, "Can't you just learn," Grayed out streaks of cyan cannon balled off Derpy from nearly every direction as she was bounced around like a rag doll, "PLEASE, to just stay out of the way!? YOU'RE NOT HELPING!"

"I'm sorry, Rainbow Dash," Derpy gasped.

"STOP CALLING ME THAT! I'm a traitor! TRAITOR DASH!"

A bright light and powerful gust of wind knocked them both off balance. Acting on instinct, TD took a moment to make sure the four others were. She heard herself sigh in relief seeing they were.

"Don't be sorry, Derpy, you're helping a lot," Twilight calm voice said surprisingly close by.

Derpy smiled, "I know. I'm sorry for Rainbow Dash being hurt."

Traitor Dash looked to see Twilight The Unicorn, beautiful butterfly wings glistening in the half-light sun.

"But-but how?! Those stones were set to EXPLODE the moment they were jiggled by your telekinesis or tried to just vaporize them!"

"Really? I didn't know that. I just figured throwing them at you would have been a waste since you'd have seen that coming."

"Then what did you . . ." TD saw some bloodstained top hats flying in the wind, "HATS? You turn them into HATS?"

"A lot easier to pull out than jagged rocks."

"AGH! And Ditzy, you dummy! I'm the one hurting you!"

"Not as badly as you're hurting yourself," Derpy said in a tone only a mother could wield. "And it hurts to see you do it."

"Okay. That's it. Game over. I know ALL your spells remember Twilight?"

"Oh the gossamer wing spell wasn't just about getting me air-born, I realized that you were prepared for what my spells were MEANT to do, but not what they COULD do. Starswirl the Bearded actually said something similar during his apprentice years according to one-"

"Dash Bullet!" A flaming feather struck through the fragile butterfly wings, causing them to fall apart. "You STILL can't resist hearing yourself talk, Twilight Sparkle!"

'So much for not thinking like Twilight Sparkle!'

Dash played interference keeping Derpy from catching her. Waiting for Twilight to teleport to shorten the fall.

Dash gasped when Twilight cast the spell AGAIN, a new shock wave catching the two off guard AGAIN, and Twilight flying on gossamer wings again!

A thousand years experience and increased mana reserves enabled Twilight to remake a spell that had once taken a minute to cast and drained her reserves.

(Be on guard! You're not likely to get a chance to correct your mistake again! And remember! In her mind you dead equals saved world! How hard do you think Traitor Dash can fight when she feels she's saving everypony?)

Twilight shivered. 'I understand.'

"Those imitation wings won't save you! The artificial can never match the natural!"

Derpy head butted TD from behind, Twilight then clothes-lined her.

"Natural talent does not equal superior talent Rainbow!"

"I've worked hard for what I have!" TD gasped out as her throat regenerated. "Including THIS!"

TD flapped her wings so hard and so fast they shattered, but also created a directional Sonic Darkboom right at Twilight which fractured her bones and destroyed the gossamer wings again, forcing Twilight to recast the spell.

"You're going to run out of mana before I run out of techniques, Twilight Sparkle!" TD spun around and bucked both her legs into Derpy's stomach, "And YOU have run out of sneak attacks!"

"No!" Derpy sense of pain seemed to just SHUT OFF and Derpy gave her a fresh head butt, "There, now I have."

"You're wasting your time! My skull is a lot more thick than yours! And you're not immortal."

"I'm not?" Derpy asked, with a puzzled frown. "Are you sure? I've lived for ever-so-long!"

Twilight elbowed Dash in the back, "And you need to learn not to forget we're not taking turns! Modern Evil Overlord wasn't just good for giving you a reprieve!"

"And I said yer magic's gonna run out before I'm out of moves!" A couple of TD's feathers fluttered off her wings, red lightning arced from the pegasus to her feathers, going right through Twilight's wings, tearing them apart. "Winglet Chain-Lighting!"

"Twilight! Don't make the wings again!" Derpy folded her wings and dove head first at Twilight and caught her. "I'll be your wings."

(Twilight, she said she's been learning you inside and out, so Derpy is your wild card.)

'Sounds like her.'

"Derpy...I trust you, do whatever you think is right."

Derpy gave a smile to Twilight.

"Giving me one target to focus on instead of two and no time to figure each other out? Wow! Just wow!"

"Sounds about as dense as something Scootaloo would think up right?" Twilight said with a smirk.

"You! You shut up about her!" Dash reacted just as Twilight predicted and charged straight on, forgetting strategy.

Derpy folded her wings and the comet went over them.

"Great moves, Dash! I know Spitfire and Soarin' would be so proud of you!"

Dash made an animal noise and charged hooves first for Twilight's throat but met the business end of one of Twilight's lasers instead. The laser went straight between her eyes and she tumbled as her Element of Chaos hastily began putting her brain and skull back together. Her momentum slowed her enough for Derpy to get out of the way, and all Dash's built-up speed made her arch like a artillery shell, ultimately smashing into the ground.

Twilight glanced and saw the chains were still holding their friends immobile.

From high above, Rancor taking the opportunity to sketch the trapped heroes on paper, splitting her attention between her pad, the paralyzed Elements, and the battle between Derpy, Dash, and Twilight.

'Is Dash putting conscious effort into maintaining those magical chains? Or do the chains automatically remain on their own, until she wills them to release themselves?'

Dash launched like a missile from the ground, recklessly throwing lightning constructs and herself at the pair, Derpy focused solely on dodging in random directions and keeping her distance as Twilight focused on nailing Dash. And it was working. And, "So how much did your old bullies say you were cool after you saved Rarity's life, Rainbow Dash? After you showed them you weren't a one trick pony?"

"Give-up-a-rest!" Trator Dash came at her with kamikaze zeal, Twilight having to literally blast her body apart, but able to sniper her wings off causing her to go out of control until Dash merely formed her clouds into a feasible replacement, "Nimbus-Wings!"

"Frozen Pony On A Stick!" Twilight shouted, as the air around Dash condensed into an ice cube, it fell, and Twilight's force field kept in tack as it impacted the ground. "Derpy! Clouds!"

"Right!" Derpy and Twilight's combined efforts in seconds had a coating of white water clouds around the ice and Twilight's magic constructed a crud stone cage for good measure.

Twilight's horn glowed, "Alright, Dash. Now just think. That's enough."

There a faint murmur from inside the cube.

"What was that, Dash?" Derpy asked.

"I said buck this! I didn't want to waste the whole show on Master, yes, he's watching all this from his castle. But buck this! I just want to wake up in my bucking bed above Ponyville and have this all be a bucking nightmare! There'll be no day of chaos! No Master! No extinct pegasi or unicorns! No hippogriff or virgacorns! I must not fail! SCREW YOU!"

(LOOK OUT!)

The four layers of containment burst.

Traitor Dash exploded in sphere of red lightning. Twilight had to regenerate her legs and the lower portions of her body as the blast shattered her hastily made shield spell. Derpy thank Celestia hadn't thought in that millisecond of the blast to try and shield the immortal with her very killable mortal frame.

"I'm not done with my sketch," Rancor said in a loud clear voice and spun her spear deflecting the blast away from the rigid heroes.

Red lightning sparked along Traitor Dash's body from the circle of soot she was standing in. She felt dizzy for a bit and stumbled for a few seconds. Her eyes, and the red pair of her cutie mark, mane, and tail gleamed a powerful ruby red that almost glowed. The rest of her was nearly pure black and white. She panted, sweat coming down her face.
-
Discord, who was indeed watching the battle play out on his TV, put on a pair of oversized sunglasses. He used his tail to put his remaining minion's jaws back in their proper places.

"You are now more powerful than you have ever been. No whining if you lose. Let's see if you can not disappoint me this time. So what's a good name again? Disaster Dash? Traitor Titan? Traitor Dash EX Mode? Super-Traitor Dash? Ultimate-Perfect-Traitor Dash? Ugh. I was sure I thought of a good one. You tell me what it was again."
-
"'Eleventh Hour Farewell,'" Dash said in an scarily calm voice. "The last thing you'll see before the world gets fixed is my favorite color."

"You've . . . you've had this kind of power all along? All these CENTURIES? I don't believe it!" Twilight denied.

"I've spent a thousand years restraining myself, Twilight. Assuring myself some other 'fix everything' spell would come along and give us our lives back. Betraying every other pony still alive so that I wouldn't need to betray you. A thousand years preparing for this moment between you and me. Even Master can't horseapples that THAT doesn't make you the most important pony to me."

"You really are the Element of Treachery," Twilight whispered, not able to keep the traces of fear out of her voice.

"Know what else? A thought occurred to me, in the middle of this sudden surge of POWER... Why only you get to change your name out of nowhere? While in this form you can call me: ENDER DASH!!!"

"Ender Dash?" A inexplicable word suddenly flitted through Twilight's mind and was gone: Bugger.

"Yep! Get it? Because I'm gonna be the ENDER of this pukestain world! Aaah, for the first time in forever... I actually feel like I'm COOL again!" Then emotion left her face.

Twilight animated a hastily crude puppet from the rocks around that slammed it's stone first on Ender Dash, it stopped inches from her body and red lightning went up the puppet and it broke apart into pieces, Twilight animated the pieces to strike her individually, but they dissolved into sand before touching the pegasus' hide after passing through the red lightning surrounding her.

Twilight fired a gatling gun's worth of purple lasers at the pegasus, but Ender Dash blinked out of existence just before each other hit, only to blink back into existence a yard or two away each one an inch closer to Twilight, the the sound of mini-sonic booms the only clue she wasn't teleporting. And Dash's face stay still and calm the whole time.

"Dash, please, just stop already," Derpy pleaded.

"You can't stop me or slow me down. Do yourself a favor and please just stand aside while I fix the world."

Derpy stepped between them. "No."

Twilight trembled. The air crackled with Ender Dash's aura. All this time. All this time. Cadence? Ponyville? Cloudsdale? All this time?

+++

The unwilling audience were prisoners in their own bodies as they watched.

'Get out of my way you crazy Draconequus-sue!' Spike mentally roared. 'I can't see what's happening to Twilight! Twilight, I'm so so so sorry. I'd give my entire self right now if it could save you. Derpy, please please please don't let her die! I finally have her back! Rainbow Dash . . . how much has Discord screwed with your head?! That had all better be the Element of Chaos talking! . . . Twilight! Don't panic now! Derpy, please protect her! Rarity, whatever happens, at least you're safe.'
-
''Blast it all!' Rarity cursed in her mind, 'Even my horn isn't working! Blasted Rainbow Dash! Don't you know that if you're being coerced then it isn't REAL betrayal!? If our bodies are being MADE to do this then they aren't betraying us! Ugh! Calm down, Rarity, THINK. Derpy was able to use her element to free herself, so does that mean we can use our elements as well? But Applejack's illusion ended when she was chained. So would that mean we can only use our Elements internally? Derpy is Loyalty so that explains that.

'Eh? Yes I know it's good that Apple Pie is technically out of the fighting, but sadly she needs all the experience she can get.

Hm? Sorry, it seems its my body that's bound, not just 'me', but it was a good suggestion, darlings.

'Indeed, dears, this curse of Rainbow Dash's element is quite impressive. Besides Derpy... I'm not sure there's an actual weakness so it. If I had that power all to myself. Imagine what we could do with it. Pinkie and Fluttershy wouldn't have to be fought at all!

Keep your head Derpy, you can't grow it back like Twilight, and Dinky wants her family to come home safe more than anything. And Twilight SNAP out of it! Now is not the time for one of your break downs!'

-

'She ain't lyin'. She isn't usin' deceit for a single thing she says. RD, ya stupid idiot! Just stop! Don't ya think Ah want everything yer sellin'? Us all gone, poof, so the world can be back to the paradise Princess Celestia gave us? But it AIN'T just about us! We ain't the only ponies in the world! This here world is STILL full of ponies who want to live more than die, ya idigt! And no way in pony hell am Ah doin' somethin' as cruel as hoof-off to somepony else!

'Please! Ah know ya've crossed alotta lines ya can't uncross, so 'what's one more,' right? WRONG, RD! Not one more! Yer still ya in there somewhere! Derpy, thanks a million for not givin' up on 'er. And Twilight, dangit girl don't just stand there!

'Okay. When these things grabbed me, mah illusion around Apple Pie went thunk! But Ah didn't feel mahself bein' made ta make it stop, more like it was cut off. Whao kay AJ, put yer head to it! Deceit and Treachery are joined at the hip, like Kindness and Generosity are.

'So how is this workin' then? Is my body bein' told the opposite of what Ah want and getting stuck in the middle? Okay body, don't sit still! Okay that ain't workin'. Ah'm still breathin' so Ah can't be all frozen. Ah really really really wish Ah had paid more attention to Twili' whenever she started talkin' 'bout magic!

'If Ah can't trick mah body, maybe Ah can trick this fancy schmancy geass? Okay, real slow. Picture it, cowpony. RD tellin' the chains to let me go. Okay then, let's try somethin' a bit more lady-like. Okay Chains of Treachery, how's this lie Traitor Dash wants me to stand up. Stand up. Stand up. Stand up! Yes . . . ' She thought like it wasn't her own idea, 'Traitor Dash does want me ta stand up.' Her legs pushed herself up. 'Okay. Good. Dangit. RD is gonna see me coming a mile away! And who knows what she'll do then! But Twili's losin' her cool. Can't just sit here!'
-

Apple Pie was crying. She wasn't scared or sad though. She couldn't even say if she was angry. She was frustrated. Half-Light was in danger! And she couldn't help her! Her friends were in danger again from Bad Cheese Discord's Chaos Six and now she was a superhero and still couldn't help them. That wasn't a joke, that was just mean! Half-Light spent all that time tellin' her to be ready and now she couldn't even help! That wasn't funny! It was a big fat cheat!

She sure hadn't expected the Draconequus lady to save them from the explosion. Maybe she wasn't so bad after all?

The bad pony who Half-Light insisted was really just a friend who Discord had hurt really bad and would hurt everypony else worse if she didn't do what he said had gone all weird creepy glowing red and stuff! . . . And Apple Pie could tell. This bad pony. She was hurting inside. She really needed somepony who could make her smile again.

At least Miss Derpy Hooves was helping every which way she could. Apple Pie just wished Miss Dash could smile like Miss Derpy was trying to make her (or as Apple Pie thought at least). In a way it was a little funny. This was supposed to be trench-ery yet Apple Pie had a feeling staying put and away was what Half-Light wanted Apple Pie to do anyway, so it wasn't trench-ery at all if it was what Half-Light wanted her to do and the point of trench-ery was to do what someone didn't want you to do when they trusted you to do it. Apple Pie was more like to NOT do what Half-Light wanted and THAT would be more 'trench-ery' than just sitting here outta the fight like Half-Light would want. Apple Pie laughed.

--

Rancor floated next to Applejack, speaking in a voice that was just low enough to count as a whisper in a clear voice, "Hey! You should give up your heart, and give in to despair once again, and retreat into lies. That is most definitely what you should do. Don't let your hotter burning emotions push you towards fighting your friend. I want to see how far into despair you can go."

Applejack would have looked at her if she could. 'Was everything she just said a complete lie? Okay AJ, one step at a time, one-two, one-two. Traitor Dash wants me to march forward. Yes she does.'

She heard Apple Pie laugh.
-

Derpy concentrated, her Element of Loyalty shining bright along with her eyes. "I won't let you get to Twilight."

"I'll go through you if I have to!" Ender Dash roared, charging Derpy at full speed.

Derpy stood her ground, limiters switching off and her Element kicking in at full blast. Putting her hooves out, she caught the mare's charge, hooves going through the force field and landing on Dash's shoulders. Red energies crackling against each other as the mare strained to hold back the charging mare, an immovable object against the unstoppable force. Sweat poured down Derpy's face as she strained and Twilight could only watch, frozen in shock. The symbol on the bottom of Derpy's hoof shined hotly.

Ender Dash broke off and flew back, watching Derpy fall to her knees, panting heavily. "This is your last chance, Derpy! Get out of the way! I'm immortal, I've had a thousand years of experience! You've had a few days tops!"

Twilight knew Dash could've kept going if she'd wanted to, that thought scared her even more.

"No," Derpy said in a completely serious tone.

(Twilight! Fear is the mind killer! Don't panic now!)

"You're going to have a big hole where your Element of Chaos was in ten seconds flat, Twilight Sparkle and a big hole in Derpy if you can't get her out of the way in nine seconds." Bits of rock and dust floated up around the pegasus as the red lightning continued to crackle around her.

Twilight fell on her flanks.

"Just hold still, Twilight, I promise I'll be as quick and painless as I can." The Element of Treachery said sincerely.

(TWILIGHT! Twilight! Get up! She's going to kill Derpy too! Get up!)

'Maybe, this is as far as I go.'

She heard a filly's laugh.

Three heads turned to see Apple Pie, a green and orange bundle of enlightened innocence bouncing up and down, the chains gone. And Applejack still covered in chains. But slowly moving.

Twilight was up in an instant, "Derpy! Try to free the others!"

"You're nuts! If you thought or she thought she could do that you'd have done it by now!"

"Maybe I was scared Rarity or Spike might be too pragmatic in fighting you, Rainbow, maybe since I was your only real target I felt there was no need for the others to risk themselves, or maybe, just maybe I've been so caught up in this stupid 'just you and me' nonsense I didn't think of it!"

Derpy didn't need to be told twice. She was a good pony.

Twilight fired a fireball that exploded before it reached the edge of Ender Dash's spherical barrier and shot up around Treachery's Element.

"Derpy's the only reason you're still standing! With her gone that's it!" She said behind the extra large wall of flames she casually deflected.

'Playing my normal game is suicide. Maybe I can combine a filly being a smaller target with the gossamer wings' agility!'

(No! The wings will still be an oversized target, and she's proven she's an expert at destroying them. There are some fires that you can't put out with water. There is a reason some fire mares start fires in a forest.)