Chapter Three: A Sound Mind in a Sound Body

"Did the operation go okay?"

I rolled my eyes at the question Big Mac had just posed me. Of course I hated to seem uppity in front of the simple country folks, but somewhere along the line someone had told them that there was no such thing as a stupid question. Applejack elbowed me in the ribs on my right side, the ones she knew were still sensitive, and shot me an affronted look for my reaction to the question. I shot her a cross look right back, lifting my hindleg to cover my ribs.

Big Mac saw her elbow my ribs and spoke up in a banterous tone, "Ah know the feelin', AJ-," at the mention of her name Applejack shot Big Mac a poisonous look in an attempt to kill the words before they left his throat, "bless her heart, loves to help the ponyfolk. But sometimes she loves just as much to woop 'em and show 'em who's boss." Alas, to no avail, Big Mac's baritone continued on with the sentence AJ had hoped to slay.

There was a lull in the conversation as AJ stopped to think if that was an insult or not. I took this as an opportunity to indulge in my anti-social tendencies. I took a look around the farm that had almost been my grave, Sweet Apple Acres. I let my gaze sail over the rolling hills as a ship would sail the waves. Only briefly pulling into port at the things that drew my attention more than others, the creaky old barn, the creaky old farmhouse, Granny Smith's creaky old hip. My port of call being an overlooking ridge. I realized just how many trees there were, and how hard it will be for them, correction us, to buck all these things. I grew worried, I'd never even been to a farm, much less harvest what Applejack had called a bumper crop.

At the thought of the word of bumper, I plowed into Big Mac's barrel chest. I bounced back and landed perfectly... on the spot where the tree hit me. My eyes tried to jump from my skull in a vain attempt to escape the molten daggers that plunged into every fiber of my being, rending any endowment of higher thought asunder. I managed to suppress a squeal, but failed to stop the whimper. I was looking at Big Mac with an expression that I hoped said, Kill me, but he didn't seemed to be looking at me but off at something behind me. I rolled over to take the pressure off the spot, and sat with my eyes tight shut as I drank in a delicious glass Dr. Pain, with all 23 flavors of anguish. As the desire to end myself subsided I decided to take a look at what held Big Mac at such rapt attention. I regretted that decision immediately as I saw Applejack staring blankly off at something in the distance, with a single tear beginning the long, solitary trek down her cheek. I followed her gaze to something that elicited just as strong, albeit different, emotions. A tree, that's all it was, nothing to get worked up about right? I had done this before, lied to myself to try and strengthen the emotional bulwark I threw my feelings behind. There were multiple entrances to Sweet Apple Acres, he had trotted in on the one closer to Fluttershy's cottage and the Everfree Forest. Thankfully though, they had come in through the Ponyville entrance, which had let them miss the tree entirely. The tree in question was the very tree that had died early that year because a Cutie Mark Crusader stunt that AJ wouldn't elaborate on. The very tree that needed to be uprooted so that they could plant a new one where it had taken root. The very tree that Big Macintosh had skipped lunch to go and buck over. The very tree that had crippled me, and that now made everypony stand stock still in thought. A pain of a different kind started to fill my soul as I stared on at Applejack. I felt terrible. We had never discussed it but I knew she thought, in her words, "Ah fancied her." She cared for me as Fluttershy might care for an injured animal she stumbled upon. In my physical debilitation and skillfully suppressed mental anguish, I had mistook that for attraction. And I hated myself for it. By my simple desire to make contact with a pony, I had dumped a burden that nopony should carry on her. I felt myself rise to my magically repaired hooves and begin to slowly walk towards AJ.

Big Mac put a hoof on my back to try and stay me, only to recoil in shock as I screamed with paroxysm. I immediately collapsed as the cancer that was my pain went into relapse. I hit the ground with an unceremonious thud, that ignited a fire in my chest as my sensitive ribs took most of the fall. That, coupled with my scream, spurred Applejack to action.

"Cato!" she cried out with worry at my unmoving form. She ran over, making sure not to touch my back, and poked me on the head where a unicorn's horn would be.

I looked at Big Mac who had a look like the regret of everything he's done since meeting me just now had been dumped on him. With anguish filling my voice I mumbled, "Verpa..." (Dick)

Applejack and Big Macintosh looked at each other in confusion, then at the same time, "Huh?"

*Facehoof* "Oh, uh... nothing." I struggled to find something to dispel their curiosity.

"Is that some of that fancy-shmancy gibberish you used at the hospital?" asked Applejack with growing conviction.

My eyes widened to the size of a dragon's, did ponies even have an equivalent to Latin? They spoke English, so maybe they did.  I decided to throw it out there and hope for the best. "Oh, that? That was just some old language that nopony speaks anymore. I learned it up in uh... Hoofswell."

"tu es slultus." Applejack and I looked at the seemingly dimwitted Big Mac. I looked at him as if he had spoken a language I didn't understand. I was shocked, relieved, and insulted all in one. Shocked that Big Mac spoke Latin, or the Equestrian equivalent. Relieved that they had an equivalent. Insulted that he just said I was stupid.

"what he say?..." whispered Applejack leaning uncomfortably close to the misinterpreting center of my brain.

"that I was stupid..." I replied, eliciting a snicker from Applejack.

"Ya'll think just cause yer some pony with a mysterious background an' big vocabulary that ya'll can just dismiss us farm folk as stupid. Yer mighty ignorant for thinkin' that. Ah learned Lutin when Ah was just a colt." Big Mac verbally beat me down but one word took my attention away from the rest.

"Did you say Lutin?" This word seemed to be their equivalent, but I wasn't understanding something about it.

"Uh? Ya, as in Luna's Tongue? How do you speak but not-"

I cut Big Mac off, "Oh, it's just not called that where I'm from. I-" *Facehoof*

"Where are you from?" Damnitdamnitdamnitdamnit, I really was stupid. I had been skillfully avoiding that question since I was released from the hospital after my procedure. Life Bloom had done some touch-up on my ribs and bid his farewell, with some sarcastic comments. I hadn't even told the hospital, but now I knew there was no avoiding it this time. But that didn't mean I had to tell the truth.

"I was born and raised in Hoofswell near the Prance border." I lied to the element of honesty, I felt like the residue scum leaves behind, not even worthy of being full scum.

"Oh, so yer family still lives up there?" Applejack was genuinely interested now.

"I don't have a family." I left it at that and so did they. In reality I didn't. (This is your reality now) My parents had passed shortly before I left for college. But that was before, and this is now. I had enough on my plate already. There was a silence while the Apples chewed on that. Then Applejack spoke,

"Well do ya'll have anywhere to stay? Any things? We found you with just the coat on your back."

"I uh... don't. I've got nothing left. But don't worry about me, I've lived through worse. And I won't need a room in your home, just a tree in your orchard." They both shot me inquisitive looks but decided not to press the issue.

"Well uh... I'm kinda bushed, so I'll uh go find that tree."

"Why only a tree?" Applejack looked at me as if I was not only crazy, but self-destructive.

"I don't know. I guess... I'd like to be a tree."

****

I blinked the sleep from my eyes, for the first time I woke with no screaming. In an unusually good mood, I stood up and stretched taking a good look around at my first morning on the farm. It looked like I had slept in, late. The farm was in full swing, Applejack was over watering the corn with Winona weaving in and out of her legs, Applebloom and Granny Smith were inside preparing lunch, and Big Macintosh was moving the Tree. After our talk about my origins I withdrew into a shell. Only answering yes or no, and one signature "Eeeyup." I took in the farm as it was at work, and felt like an intruder. Everything was so nice and peaceful that I decided to duck out and go into town.

****

Ponyville was nice this time of year, it practically radiated with friendship and I hoped they would welcome me with open arms. But this wasn't the first I had been disappointed, the word xenophobic came to mind. I trotted down main street towards Twilight's library, a gigantic tree, maybe I'd sleep under it someday. I vaguely remembered Applejack mentioning Twilight before, but I forgot what she had said. I pondered on this for a moment, trying to find an appropriate metaphor when I saw a rainbow streak cross the sky, then maddeningly did several loops, and stopped abruptly behind a cloud. As my headache started to form I facehoofed and muttered what could have been the only cause,

"Rainbow Dash..."

"The one and only! Who's askin'?" The multichromatic pegasus was inches from face giving me a scrupulous look. I jumped at least as high as her cloud home, but praise be to Luna I landed on all fours.

"For the love of Lunus' fetlocks Rainbow don't sneak up on me like that! Why are you even here?" I had a tinge of anger in that, but why was she hovering again inches from my face?

"Who's askin'?"

"Cato, my name is Cato and I'm staying over at Sweet Apple Acres to help out with Applebuck Season. Now why are you even here?"

"How'd you know my name? I know I'm famous and all but I wanna know how famous, Where ya from?"

"Hoofswell, near the Prance border I-"

"Hoofswell?! I am that awesome? Uh, I mean of course I'm that awesome I meant uh... Hoofswell is a long way away. What brings you hear?"

She asked the question I never asked myself because I didn't want to know the answer. "I am uh... travelling! I'm a philosopher you see and I'm currently philosophicating some things."

"Ya don't care... Did you say Sweet Apple Acres? Why's Applejack lettin' you stay with her?"

"Well because she kind of dropped a tree on me. And because I told her I was gonna only sleep under trees."

Rainbow's expression spoke a thousand words, "Do you think I'm stupid? If you got hit with a tree you wouldn't be prancing around town. And if you're here helping Applejack then why aren't over helping her?"

"Yes, got a doctor, and because I never got the chance to come and visit your grandiose town."

"Hey! Who you calling stupid? Chump!"

"Rainbow, your hubris will be your down fall,  si post fata venit gloria non propero." I started to leave at that final statement, but Rainbow Dash was not finished with me. She chomped down on my tail and put a hoof on my back for leverage. She pulled and touched the spot. Sweeping the pain aside,

"DO NOT TOUCH ME, culpae poenae par esto!" I lifted my hooves to buck Rainbow Dash in the jaw that would not stop opening and closing, allowing the mire that was her speech to escape. (Stop, you've caused enough pain.) I kept my hooves raised, but simply allowed myself fall with a plop, on my rump. I turned to look at my back where the spot was. It looked fine, but felt like someone had forced a salty sun into the wound. I whimpered and collapsed into my own forehooves, the toll of the last few days finally catching up to me.

"I- I- are you okay? Do you want me to get Applejack or something?" I of course ignored Rainbow Dash's attempts at consolation and buried me further into my mind. I curled up and whimpered in pain, anguish, and dejection. I had no one, nothing, and no reason to continue.

"Uh, look... Cato?" I didn't even deserve her remembering my name, "I'm gonna get Applejack so don't move okay?"

"memento mori..." My whimper so low that it was impossible for her to hear it, although I wish she had.

****

I had dragged my pathetic form over under the nearest tree, which just happened to be the centerpiece of the park I was in. My sorrow was on display for everypony to see, and I couldn't care less. Dear Princess Celestia, please send me to the moon. Signed your most deceitful and despicable subject Cato. I hoped that prayer got to her, I actually was fond of living on the moon. My thoughts drifted to last night, as I lay under Luna's gift to everypony in Equestria, I began trying to piece together the puzzle that was my new life. I speak Lutin, the supposed tongue of Luna, I have a fondness for the moon and stars beyond, and I'm laying in the cold dirt under a tree. Yep, something's wrong with me. I had been filled with happiness, and even hope of a new beginning, looking at the moon. But Rainbow had well, dashed that all away. I knew she had in reality done absolutely nothing wrong, but if I put all of the blame on myself my mind would collapse in on itself. I could already feel a rift forming allowing untold evils to seep through like a festering wound, and I knew there was no way to stop it from spreading threw my mind like the infection I knew it was. My back hurt, my soul hurt, and I could feel a horde of darkness intrude upon my normally safe mind, they came from all sides, and stretched miles in every direction. The mental battlement I had constructed against my emotions had been laid siege, and torn asunder. Brick. By. Brick. The Barbars had destroyed my sanity and pillaged my aptitude for higher cognitive ability. I could only lay and whimper as the madness sacked the lush city that had once been my mind.  I had made the conscious decision of surrender, when the Barbars had encroached upon the last great bastion of sanity left in my desolate ruin of a mind. They threw themselves upon it, and with wailing and grinding of teeth destroyed it inhabitants, my hopes, my dreams, my desire to live. In my mind, I was an abomination, a tumor that needed to be cut out. I had received my chance in another realm, why had I been given another chance? Was I so abhorrent that even Death could not be seen in my company? Was I so emotionally repugnant that Rainbow Dash had hoped she could dump the burden that I was on any other pony besides herself? Was I so mentally unstable that I desired nothing else than to see it end? I stewed in my own madness not even realizing that I had two mares giving me worried looks. Snippets of their conversation broke through the siege of the Barbars and gave a glimpse, that maybe somepony did care.

"How long has he been like this RD?"

"Since just before I got you AJ, I have no idea what made him do it."

"Well what happened just before this?"

"He reared up like he was going to buck me."

"I wish he had, what did ya'll do to make him wanna do that?"

"Well buck you too... He insulted me then tried to walk away, so I pulled him by the tail and used his back for leverage."

"Don't tell me ya'll touched him where the tree hit him. He whelps like a little filly if ya'll get near that spot."

"Whoa! So a tree did hit him? And he was walkin' the next day? That's one tough stallion, I'd like to start over with him."

"Ah wouldn't try to get close to him Rainbow, he scared the horse apples outta Twi' when she looked in his dreams. Somethin's wrong with that stallion, but he won't open up and say what. And to top it off Ah think he's fancy on me, and he thinks Ah'm fancy on him. Ah just met him and he's jumpin' to these things? I'd watch yourself around him, if he's doin' that and this he may not be all up there ya know? Least that's what Twi' thinks."

My heart fell at the renewed assault, the reinforcements I had hoped for was nothing more than a Trojan pony, brimming with Barbars. My mind fell, something cracked in me as the palace doors burst open madness flowing through like a raging river. Washing all in it's path away, never to be reclaimed. One last thought filled my mind, one. last... memento mori, remember you will die.

"Hey AJ, ya think maybe he just heard you?"

"Oh no, oh no oh no oh no, Cato can you hear me? I need ya'll to say somethin'. Applejack," she said to herself, just as I used to do, "why are ya so stupid! Cato, are ya'll okay? Should we take ya back to my home?" Her words stung like a touch to the spot. Her home, not our home, hers... our last sane thought filled our throat and forced it's way through our lips, carrying poison that would slay any pony's good intentions without delay.

"memento mori... remember you will die."

"Cato, what's wrong with ya'll? What do ya mean?"

"Applejack, I'd step back if I was you." She inched closer to us, and that is when Orion asserted himself. We lashed out with a disparity in personality hoping that if we could not defeat the Barbars, we may at least side with them.