It was dark, quiet...lonely.

It was just like it was supposed to be, just like he wanted it to be...

Eyes closed, ears covered, and mouth shut. That was how he went about his duties. He would jump into the other world to grab a soul and immediately jump back. He wouldn't even allow himself to view the memories of those souls, blocking them from his mind.

He had enough memories already. Memories that would never be forgotten.

Sometimes...he was tempted, so tempted to go back over, just to experience the sun again. Just to talk to someone, anyone. But then he would start to dream, to hope.

And all of those dreams would start...and end the same.

They would be so bright at first, he would find friends in other ponies, ponies that all seemed to represent Pinkie Pie in some way, either in looks or personality.

"Have you tried being less gloomy?" they would always ask before dragging him along to a party. A party so big and grand that he would smile, a real smile.

And then laughter would follow, not just from him, but from all of his friends. That beautiful noise would wrap around him, bringing him joy he could barely imagine.

But then the dream would turn dark.

He would be forced to stay the same as the world around him moved forward, his friends growing old and sick, while all he could do was watch, powerless.

Why did their lives have to be so short? Why couldn't they stay, for just a moment longer?

Eventually, he would stand before them all, and they would always ask.

"What are you doing? What's going to happen?" the first he could easily answer...the second...was so much harder.

"Peace," was all he found himself saying. And he wished it was, he wished with all he had, everything he was, that the place he took them to would be peaceful.

And then one of them...always the last one, would whisper.

"I'll wait for you then..." that declaration, said out of friendship, would hurt so much. She would wait forever, for he could never follow, never know of their peace.

And with those friends gone, he would be alone again, with memories of them dancing throughout his mind.

Memories that would never be enough.

He could try again, but those memories would haunt him, and so few of the ponies would trust him.

He never aged, but he wasn't a Alicorn, he looked just like a regular earth pony

What was he really? Their questions would follow, and he could not respond, for how could they trust him if they knew his true nature?

Pinkie Pie was the only pony he had ever felt had truly accepted him...and he did not share the same hope with anyone else.

So he would leave that all behind, alone again with new memories that only brought sadness.

Two choices, stay or go, with the same ending, always alone.

The dream would end and he would be pulled back to himself, the temptations gone, for now...

The idea of life...still dreamed of living.

How pathetic.

He found himself moving around less and less, relying more on the instinct that was a part of him, or rather, the instinct he was a part of, to gather souls.

Before he knew it, there was no need for him. The souls would drop into the river and be pulled along on their own.

The princess was right, he was useless.

He didn't know what to do anymore.

He wasn't meant to exist, he was everyone that had died, and yet none of them. He'd waited so long for that answer...

Did anyone wait for him?

His thought drifted to those six ponies, and their princess. Would they keep watch for him? Worried that he may return some day, trying once again to understand life?

He took a strange sort of pleasure from that, at least he would be remembered by someone, though he knew it wouldn't last.

Memories were so fickle with living beings.

At least he'd be a part of their world though their thoughts, for a little while.

A little while...

How long had he been here?

That thought spoke up from the back of his mind.

Exactly how long has it been since he had ran away from life, away from the pain?

After all, time had a strange way of moving forward when you weren't looking. Maybe he could check, for just a moment, it was probably only a few years...

But he didn't need to.

He felt the sigh of a last breath, and with it, the sensation of a soul crossing over, bringing a memory with it. He blocked it, as always.

But this memory wouldn't be blocked. It seemed to crawl past his defenses right into his mind.

He saw a hill, its soft grass flowing like water in the breeze. Resting in the grass was an earth pony...

A pink earth pony...

No, no!

He tried to stop the memory, to pull away, to block it out, to do something! But it was too late.

The pony had been so tired that day, she had known that she didn't have much time left. But that didn't mean that she couldn't brighten up someponies day.

So she'd made her way, slowly, out to that hill, making sure to give a friendly greeting to anypony she saw along the way.

Climbing to the top of the hill, she'd been so sleepy, but she couldn't sleep yet, she had to wait for him...

She waited and waited, her eyelids growing so heavy, but he refused to show.

"Fine," she had said, letting her eyes close. "Fine then, I'll just bring the party to...him. It'll all be sunshine and...smiles...for Sunny..." her head nestled down between her hooves.

And that was all, she passed on, her last feelings full of such hope to see that gloomy pony again.

Free of the memory, he knew that he had to find that soul, find her soul.

He dove into the river, so worried. How far had she gone, was it already too late?

He couldn't believe what he saw.

Right in the middle of the river...was her. She was stubbornly fighting against the flow, still waiting for him.

Her soul was pink, of course. But it wasn't just simple pink, she was the pink of a sunrise, a sunrise right before the most perfect day. Something you could look at and just be happy for no real reason.

He gathered up the soul in his arms and drew himself out of the flow.

He held her close, and he almost feel her unbridled joy. It seemed that nothing could ever bring her down.

His grip tightened, holding her closer, and then...nothing.

He could not communicate with souls...and they could not communicate with him, he doubted that Pinkie Pie could even notice him.

She'd waited for him, and he'd failed her.

No matter he tried...he'd never be able to make up for it. Her fierce determination to make him smile had been for nothing.

He dropped her soul, and hoped she would stop resisting the stream.

There were so many other ponies in the beyond that could use a smile from her.

He was tired.

Life had been far too much for him.

He had had enough. His existence had brought happiness to no one, not even himself.

In the end...he was just a collection of memories with delusions of life, and it was time for them to be forgotten.

He dropped into the river again and...let go.

Nothing seemed to happen at first, but as the stream continued to pull he noticed himself growing...smaller.

The memories were being pulled away, leaving him as tiny spots of light to rejoin their original souls.

It didn't hurt, though some part of him wished that it did, wished that he could feel...something.

As his memories fell away, one by one, but with his last bit of strength he managed to hold one memory close. One that he wished to see one more time.

Hellooooooo! I'm Pinkie Pie, and I've never seen you around before!

She was so happy, so friendly. It was before he had learned the truth, before he had made everything go wrong...

"I am sorry, Pinkamina Diane Pie..." he whispered.

He was never supposed to exist...

So now he wouldn't.

A tiny spark remained in the black river, so small, so bright.

Then it was gone...