Princess Luna huffed angrily, her star-riddled mane rippling in time with her ever-increasing irritation.

“How dare you refuse the patronage of your Princess!  We command you to open your establishment immediately!” she bellowed at the stallion behind the glass doors, defiant of the CLOSED sign directly in front of her.

The stallion, to his credit, shook his head.  “Sorry Princess, no can do.  It’s eight in the morning, in case you haven’t noticed.  Law states that I can’t start serving alcohol before ten.”

“But this is the only time that We can have any!” she cried.  “We are nocturnal, we are usually in bed by now!”

Still, the bartender shrugged.  “Don’t know what to tell you, Princess.  Try the store down the street, I’m sure they’d be more than happy to accommodate you.”

The disappointed princess grumbled something about ‘five years dungeon’ as she ambled down the street, mentally reminding herself to avoid the bar from now on.

“Where is the proprietor of this store?  We wish to make a purchase, posthaste!”

The shop’s owner rushed to the front of the store, in part to greet the royalty that had chosen to grace his store with her presence, and in part to make sure that she didn’t scare away his customers.

“Princess Luna!” he bowed, heart pumping from exertion and panic.  “What a surprise to see you in my humble store!  How might I serve you?”

The Princess narrowed her eyes at the piss-colored stallion, wrinkling her nose at his stale scent.  “Hear Us, salespony!” she bellowed.  “We have dire need of your most powerful spirit!  We have little time to enjoy Ourselves, and even less time to engage in activities that We may or may not end up regretting later!”

The stallion’s eyes widened, jaw slackening at what his Princess was asking.  Slowly, he pulled himself together and bowed his head in obedience.

“Yes, your Majesty.” He turned and beckoned for her to follow him into the back of the shop.  “Please, come with me.  I don’t keep It on display for the hoi polloi, if you understand me.”

In solemn silence, the two ponies trotted toward the rear of the establishment.

Luna coughed violently, reeling when she realized that she had inhaled a cobweb, spider and all.

Note to self: buy out this property and tax this rotter into the debtor’s prison.

She snarled to herself as something occurred to her.

Wait, Celestia mentioned that she got rid of that centuries ago.  Zounds!

Unaware that her angry frown was scaring the manager, Luna and the stallion arrived at a stately-looking freezer that appeared quite out of place amongst the derelict rubble that passed for an alcoholic establishment.

“Erm, Princess?” the piss-colored stallion coughed, trying fairly obviously not to upset his patron.  “Would you mind turning your head for a moment?  I have to enter the combination for the locker.”

Princess Luna stared flatly at the increasingly nervous colt.  “We fail to see the purpose, proprietor.  Even if We wished to rob you of your valuables, We could simply rip this vault to pieces.  Such a feat would hardly be taxing for a telekinetic of Our caliber.”

He swallowed in anxiety, shivering under his Princess’s gaze.  “It would do a great deal of good for my ulcer, your Majesty.”

Sighing loudly, Luna turned to the side to ease the stallion’s distress.  “We will concede, for now.” She snorted as another thought came to mind.  “We can understand that expensive safeguards may be necessary in your line of work, but We fail to see the need to lock away mere drinks under such extreme security.”

The stallion coughed again, habitually loosening the tie around his neck.  “Ah, you see, Princess, I spent so much money on the safe, I didn’t have much money left for a freezer—”

Luna stopped him with a hoof.  “Wait, so you mean to tell Us that you spent the majority of your money on a safe, which not only contains less than the required amount to buy a simple freezer, but now you store drinks in it that should not be left at room temperature?”

The poor stallion nodded in shame.

Princess Luna chuckled.  “Excuse Us while We titter.”

After indulging herself in a fairly obnoxious laughing session at the shop owner’s expense, the Moon Princess took a deep breath.  “You are not a clever pony, are you?”

“You sound like my mother,” he muttered.

A click was heard as the lock was finally undone.  The piss-colored stallion wiped his forehead clean of sweat.

Luna had to restrain herself from yelling out ‘five years dungeon!’ when he accidentally flung some of his sweat onto her lip.

The Dark Ages are over, Luna.  She cooled herself down, counting to ten to control her anger.  Radical persecution is no longer an option.

“Now, before you partake of my…product,” Luna took note of his hesitance, “would you be a dear and sign this release waiver?”  He trembled when the Moon Princess looked at him incredulously.  “This drink is monstrously powerful.  It could destroy lesser ponies.”

Luna rolled her eyes, grasping the waver in her telekinetic grasp and creating a pen with her magic.

The stallion stared awkwardly, putting his pen back in his breast pocket.

“Now Princess, it’s important that you know the power of the drink that I am about to give you.”

He opened the cooler in the middle of the room, lifting the doors reverently.  He dipped his head inside for a brief moment.

He lifted out a tall, clear bottle with great care, making sure to set it down gently on the floor.

“This is a pristine bottle of Everclear Thunder Dew.  It is illegal to drink anywhere south of Ponyville, due to its ludicrously high alcohol content.  It makes moonshine look like milk in comparison.”

Princess Luna raised an eyebrow.  “Truly?”

The stallion nodded his head.  “It is so powerful, in fact, only ten bottles were ever made.  Eight of them were sold to various wealthy nobles.” He gulped.  “All of them ended up dying within a day.”

Luna’s eyes widened to the size of dinner plates.  “What?  How did this happen?”

The stallion shivered, wrapping his hooves around his chest as if the very thought gave him chills.  “Seven of the nobles killed themselves in freak face-eating accidents.”  He shook his head.  “Tragic.”

Not even bothering to ask how that was physically possible, Luna pressed on.  “You said that eight nobles died.  What happened to the last one?”

“Oh,” the stallion waved a hoof dismissively, “he just happened to die in his sleep.  Shame, really.”

Princess Luna just stared, before silently pulling her royal coin purse from her saddlebags.  “Whatever you say, urine-colored pony.  Accept Our payment, and We shall be on Our way.”

Taking the required amount of bits from the Princess’s magical grasp, the stallion looked up in surprise when he heard the uncorking of a bottle.

“Princess, perhaps you should wait until you’re someplace safer—” he started, before she cut him off.

“Please, We are a far cry away from a hoofful of irresponsible, mortal nobles.”

“But—”

“Truly, a mere bottle, however potent, could never best the likes of Us.” She said, with a snort.

“I—” he tried to interject.

“Dost thou honestly think to hinder Us after having already purchased thy product?”

The shop owner gaped, before slowly closing his mouth.  After all, he realized a lost cause when he saw one.

At his silence, Luna finally lifted the bottle to her lips, taking a deep, quick swig.

Although somewhat bitter and possessing a great deal of strength behind it, she failed to see the promised oomph of the drink.  She raised her head to say as much, before realizing that she was staring into the stern visage of her older sister.

Celestia? But…when did she get here?

“Well?” the strict-looking white mare asked impatiently.  “I’m waiting for an answer, Luna.”

“An answer to what?” she replied. This isn’t making sense, Luna thought to herself.  Mere seconds ago, We were just inside of that substandard liquor store.

Celestia’s eyes narrowed.  “Are you serious right now?  Because I just got through explaining in excruciating detail what you did wrong and why I’m upset with you.”

Luna rolled her eyes in response, lifting a hoof up to her deadpan expression.  “What about Our appearance would invite the possibility that We are not serious?”

The Sun Princess stared blankly, silently levitating a mirror over to her irritated younger sister.

What.

WHAT?!

Princess Luna’s prized mane, once the envy of equine kind—and beyond—had been shaved.

The once billowing flow of ethereal hair had been reduced to a shameful flutter, now only reaching down as far as the Princess’s ears.

To her horror, Princess Luna found that her hair wasn’t the only victim of her drunken exploits.  On all four of her (formerly) pristine limbs, she found stark white fishnet leggings, her hind legs  adorned with rather trashy black leather boots that reached just below her cutie mark.

Luna let out a whine of incredulity.  “Tia, what happened?”

Celestia sighed in reply.  “I was hoping you’d be able to tell me.”   Nodding to a unicorn guard in the center of the room, a large pane of glass lit up with a brilliant white-gold aura.  Images flickered across the board, settling on what appeared to be a midday news program.

A comely young mare, cream-coated with a striking red mane and a pink suit sat comfortably in front of the cameras.

“In breaking news today, a young mare who looks remarkably like our esteemed Princess Luna was seen cavorting about Canterlot in rather questionable attire.”

A familiar blue-coated alicorn was then shown headbanging her way down the center of the city, bumping into various ponies in a rather obvious attempt to cop a feel.

“Oops!” she cried, grinding against a flustered looking unicorn mare.

Luna’s jaw dropped as she watched her own drunken exploits, consciously, for the first time.

“Luckily,” the news anchor pony continued, “the Royal Guard managed to subdue the crazed mare after a minor scuffle.”

Well, Luna thought to herself, it couldn’t possibly be that bad.

“Bitch!” howled the mare on the screen that was-Luna-but-was-not, as she was dragged by her hooves into custody, “you got me fucked up!”

The Moon Princess stared.

And stared.

Turning her attention from the glass pane, Celestia swiveled to face her younger sister.  “I know you have a penchant for mischief, Luna, but this goes beyond the pale.”  She shook her head in disappointment.  “Getting rid of your lovely mane, dressing like some mess straight out of the red light district?  Grinding on ponies outside of a nightclub?”

Luna flinched under her sister’s gaze as one she continued one of her trademark monologues.  “Honestly, Luna, this kind of behavior is unacceptable for a pony of any standing, much less a Princess. We’ve had to run all kinds of interference in the media just so this kind of incident doesn’t make it outside of Canterlot!” She stomped angrily towards her younger sister, jolting the midnight blue mare onto her knees.  “Just what do you have say for yourself?”

Luna cowered underneath her forehooves, shaking involuntarily in fright.  “We are sorry, sister!  We don’t know what came over Us, We swear it!  Please, do not harm Us!” She flinched, inching backwards as a concerned Celestia stretched out a hoof to comfort her.  “We promise, We will not do anything to upset you again!”

All of Celestia’s righteous anger dwindled away, replaced instead by a dull, blunt hurt implanted there by her own sister.

Is this my existence now, The Sun Goddess thought to herself, that I am truly so far above anything else that even my own sister fears me?

She reasoned that it wasn’t that long ago that Luna had returned from her imprisonment that had spanned lifetimes.

Ironic how your only constant companion is loneliness itself, is it not?

Allowing herself only a brief, delightfully bitter moment to embrace the sardonic sentiment, Celestia returned her attention to her once-and-no-longer equal.

“Go,” she said, the hollowness of her voice matching the void in her eyes.  “We will contain the disaster for now.”

Scampering to her hooves, the disgraced princess ducked her head and ran out of the room.

A lean, muscular young stallion sauntered his way down the street, his red bandana undulating against his unique calico coat.  A catchy tune sprung from his lips as he ambled down towards the early evening’s sunset, eyes locked lazily on the Princesses’ castle.

“Yo ho, all together, hoist the colors high!  Heave ho, thieves and beggars, never shall we die!” He winked playfully at a group of mares who whistled and let out cat-calls at his passing.

Really, Pip, must you leave a trail of broken hearts everywhere you go?

The young bachelor chuckled at his thoughts, wondering how his life-long friend would react if he voiced them.

Pretty young thing would probably box my ears if I so much as suggested it.

He hummed to himself as he trotted down the street at a leisurely pace, slowing as he found himself in front of a flower stall.

“My my, Sunburst, you and your morning glories are looking as dazzling as ever!” he said to the fairly attractive yellow-coated unicorn behind the stall.

A blush spread across her face as she hid behind her long red locks.  “Oh, leave this poor old spinster alone, you silvertongue!”

Pipsqueak let out a bark of boyish laughter.  “Perhaps I should, but you’re just too tempting!”

The both of them let out a hearty chuckle, reveling in the game that the two of them had played for ages.  Recalling something to memory, Pipsqueak reached inside of his saddlebags and pulled out a bouquet of flowers and placed them on top of her stall.

“For you,” he said, ducking his head when she let out a gasp of surprise.

“Oh Pip, you certainly didn’t have to—” she started.

Pipsqueak smoothly interrupted her with a wave of his hoof.  “I’m sure I didn’t have to, Sunny.  I wanted to.” His mouth spread in a genuine smile when she cradled the bouquet of lilies and black roses to her breast, inhaling their scent appreciatively.

“How did you know?” she murmured.  “It’s been eight years today since my Morning Glory passed.”

He nodded slowly, draping a leg over her withers.  “Nopony should ever be forgotten,” he said, squeezing his foreleg slightly in a comforting gesture.  “Or unappreciated.”  He nuzzled her under her jaw briefly, before stepping away.

Sunburst smiled, her coat seeming to glisten as he spoke to her.  “Ever the gentlecolt, even when you were smaller than my knee.”

Pipsqueak rolled his eyes.  “Gentlecolt, me?  Please, I’m just in it for your body.”

Sunburst snorted, punching him lightly in the shoulder.  “Lies, all of them.  If that were true, you would’ve hit this ages ago.”

The two of them laughed together, leaning on each other as peals of laughter rang through the marketplace.

As their chuckles of mirth drew to a close, they both righted themselves.

Pipsqueak took a casual step backwards.  “Well, I’d better leave you to it, Sunny.”

She pouted playfully, lidding her eyes.  “So soon, Pip?”

Bugger, she’s giving me the ol’ bedroom eyes.  Time to roll out, old boy!

Pipsqueak laughed only moderately awkwardly, circling around the older mare.

”Oh hush, you know I’ll be back to check on you.”  He smacked her flank playfully with his tail, scuttling away while the flustered mare stammered with her words.

Just how do I keep forgetting that flirting can actually work?

Luna moped around in her room, sulking as she lounged on her bed and nursed an absolute behemoth of a hangover from a drunken morning she couldn’t even remotely remember.

At least no faces were eaten in the midst of my drunken haze, she thought, dropping the Royal We in the solitude of her thoughts.

There was a knock at her door.

“Enter,” she called, not bothering to change her appearance.

She heard a whistle as hoofsteps signaled the pony’s trot to her bed.  “Oh dear, is it my birthday already?”

Luna groaned into her pillow, realizing she had forgotten to remove her leggings and boots.  Her position on the bed with her hindlegs splayed carelessly probably hadn’t helped.

“What are you doing here, Pip?” she moaned.  “In case you hadn’t noticed, I’m busy wallowing in my misery.”

“Oh, I noticed, all right.” He nosed at her horn, chuckling when she rose, as if jolted.  “I’m here to get you out of your funk.”

“What if I want to stay funky?” she snarked, petulantly.

He snorted at her choice of words, sitting down in front of her bed with his head rested on his forelegs.  “Well, I’d tell you that that’s just too bad.  After all, today’s the Friday that you promised we would spend hanging out together.”

Luna groaned.  “You’re right.  But do you honestly think that with my latest fiasco that going out is a good idea?”

Pipsqueak’s ears flattened as he lowered his voice.  “I understand, Luna.”  He sighed, stretching his forehooves in an exaggerated gesture.  “I mean, you only promised me a wonderful night, just you and me, two friends, not a care in the world.”

Luna groaned, doing her best not to ogle the friend that she’d known since he was a colt.  “Pip, don’t do this to me.”

But he ignored her, going on in his fairly successful guilt trip.  “I guess we could just stay indoors, then.  We could play some board games, maybe watch a movie…” His eyes lit up as he ‘suddenly’ had an idea.  “Ooh!  I could even give you a horn polishing and a wing preening!  After that, I could give you one of those hoof massages you love so much!”

“N-no, that won’t be necessary!” Luna was trying to keep too much blood from running to her face while simultaneously struggling to pin her wings to her back.

Does he always have to tease me so maliciously?

“Oh, come on, Lulu,” he sang, relishing the look on her face when he used his nickname for her, “live a little!”  He rolled on his forehooves as he stretched across her carpeted floor.  “Who knows, maybe I’ll show you some of the yoga I’ve been doing!”  Making sure not to make contact with her now pinpricked eyes, he lay down on his stomach.  “You’re absolutely right, who would even want to go outside when there’s so much to do in here?  In your room?” His eyes shone suggestively.  “Alone?”

He could tell by the flushed, hesitant look on her face that she was actually considering what he meant entirely to tease her with.

“You win,” she grumbled, easing the short-lived tension in the air.

Grinning happily, Pipsqueak wagged his tail excitedly.  “Now, was that so hard?”

Luna, swiveling to her back so that her forelegs were in the air, decided to do some teasing of her own.  “Remind me again, Pip,” she said, reaching her head up to remove one of her fishnet stockings, “why exactly do I keep you around?”

Pipsqueak raised an eye at the show she was giving him.  “You mean aside from my heartbreaking good-looks?”

He received a snort for an answer.  “Well, I keep things real for you, I would guess.  Other ponies would go through the trouble of stepping on eggshells just to make sure they don’t offend you.  Me?” He gestured to himself proudly.  “I find eggshells a rather uncomely hoof ornament.”

He reached up, grasping one of Luna’s forehooves with one of his own.  “Here.” He bit down on one of her stockings, pulling it off while looking her intently in the eye.

Luna winced at his actions, cursing how he could beat her at her own games.

“You know, Pip,” she said, managing to tamper down the quiver in her voice, “one doesn’t court a lady with crude suggestions and meager efforts to feel her up.”  She bit the inside of her cheek when he moved around the edge of the bed, climbing on top of it to remove her boots and hugging her right hindleg to his chest.

Oh, THAT’S just not fair! She mentally screamed to herself.

“Well then, Lulu, it’s a good thing I’m not trying to court you or anything.”  He pulled off one of her boots, rubbing her leg with a casualness that she reserved only for him.  “Just two good friends, enjoying one another’s presence and humbly acknowledging that the other is beyond attractive.”

Luna narrowed her eyes.  “One of whom desperately wishes to bed the other?”

Pipsqueak raised a hoof to his mouth in fake shock.  “Well, I knew you had urges, Lulu, but I always trusted you to keep it in your haunches!”  Chuckling at her look of indignation, he added, “Besides, I said that we’re good friends, not best friends.”

He could’ve sworn he’d heard her mutter something about a dungeon.

Both ponies started as the doors to her chambers slammed open.  Celestia panted as she slid to a halt, her eyes locked onto Luna.  “Luna, listen, we need to—”

She stopped midsentence, gaping when she saw the two of them on the bed together.  Luna’s leg in the air, hugged to the handsome young stallion’s chest, while her younger sister lay pressed into the bed.

Celestia slowly backed out of the room, making sure to close the door tightly.

After a long, dread-filled silence, Pipsqueak finally spoke.

“Well, that was awkward.”

Luna let out a yelp of surprise when Pipsqueak stopped their trot, yanking her gently by a wing into a nearby alley.

“Pip, what are you—” but he silenced her with a hoof to his lips, mouthing the word shh.

She obeyed him, following the young stallion deeper into the dark crevices between the buildings.

She nearly shrieked when he pushed her lightly against a wall, darting in and pecking her on the lips.

Luna blushed madly, sputtering out meaningless words when his hooves held hers to the wall, his knee finding its way between her legs.

“I just figured that you’d still want that horn polish and wing preening favor, yeah?” He grinned boyishly before planting a long, searing kiss on her neck.

Luna quivered, wings scraping against the brick wall as she tried to stand properly.  “Pip, w-we really shouldn’t do this!” Her voice reached an octave higher when one of his hooves brushed against the side of her left wing.

“Yeah?” was his only reply, before going back to nipping at her throat.

“It isn’t PROper!” she cried when he reached a particularly sensitive nerve.

“Then tell me to stop,” he said, his lips shifting into a satisfied grin when she didn’t reply.

Her mouth opened in a gasp when she felt his excitement against her inner thigh.  Taking it for an invitation, Pipsqueak quickly claimed her mouth, courageously massaging her tongue and exploring what he could of her.

Princess Luna’s moans escalated, muffled by their passionate kissing, when his hooves turned their full attention to her wings, massaging the primary feathers before making their way down to the bases of the limbs.

Pipsqueak himself gasped when he felt Luna’s arousal dripping from her haunches onto his member.  He seized her hips, breaking the kiss momentarily to spin her around so she was chest first against the brick wall.  Moving his head up, he took her horn into his mouth, swirling his tongue around the tip before bobbing his head down teasingly.

Luna’s panicked moans were increasing in volume, with nothing to cover up the sounds.  She groaned when she realized she was already on the precipice of an orgasm, being worked like a young virgin in the back streets of her own city, where anypony could walk up and catch the two of them going at it.

The mere thought of it catapulted her into an intense orgasm, far more intense than any she’d had in a fair while (which she attributed to not having had any excitement in a millennia or so).  Her hair, shortened as it was to a small cloud of stars dancing around her head, shook violently as she arched her back, walls clenching at nothing as her legs dripped with her own excitement.  Her body sagged against the wall as her posterior faced outwards, wings flapping frantically as she came onto her stallion’s member.

She heard Pipsqueak chuckle as he ceased his ministrations on her horn.  “Lovely, Lulu, but I hope you don’t think I’m quite down with you yet.

“Hrgrhmum,” came her intelligent reply.

“Good,” he hummed.  He lifted her gently from the wall, placing the flagging Moon Princess on her back.  Her hindlegs, splayed in either direction, were gripped firmly between his forelegs.  Her wings, still stiff from arousal, flapped out of sync.

Luna looked at the stallion above her, confident, caring smirk in place as he leaned in closer to peck her on the nose.  She sighed; she, the Princess of the Moon, feared and loved, in equal measure, by many, on her back about to be rutted by the very same stallion who had been but a colt not so very long ago.  She’d reflect on the sentimentality of it all later, she supposed; now, she let her eyes shine with her approval, smacking her lover-friend in the leg with her tail, beckoning for him to take her in her favorite position.

He took the plunge, dipping as far as he could into his best friend.  The both of them sighed, taking a moment to appreciate their joining for the first time.  Luna’s tail wrapped around Pipsqueak’s, intertwining in a most intimate show of affection.  Her hooves wrapped around his neck as he drew back his hips, driving forward into her.  They met again with a satisfying thmp, her passage smoothed by her previous stimulation.

Pipsueak’s hooves drifted down to Luna’s narrow hips, marveling how he was able to fit into her at all.  He hugged her flanks, driving himself into her steadily, somehow managing not to lose his mind in her velvet tunnels.  He moaned into her ear, driving deeper and deeper into his mare as her legs bobbed erratically in the air.

His thrusting became more frantic, crushing into her desperately as her moans fueled his actions.  She petted his mane smoothly, whispering short, passionate words of praise into his ears as he rocked into her hard enough to scooch her forward on the hard ground.  She grunted with every assault on her marehood, feeling another orgasm make itself known to her.  Her walls started to clench around his stallionhood, and she knew he was close as well, if the slackening of his limbs and the way he moaned her name was anything to go by.

“Yes, please, say my name,” she begged, feeling the tip of his penis flare inside of her.

“What do you think you’re doing?!” he screeched into her ear, shocking the moon princess out of the romance of the moment.

“W-what?” she cried, eyes shrinking to pinpricks at the angry look on his face.

Luna was tugged to the inside of the street by a worried looking Pipsqueak.

What?  What happened to the—

“I’m so sorry, madam, my friend here was disoriented.  She had no intention of barging into you like that.” Pipsqueak reasoned to a cross-looking noble.

“Well then, see to it that she watches where she’s going next time!  I’ll have you know, I am the matriarch of the highly esteemed Dicc noble family!”

To his credit, Pipsqueak managed to disguise his laugh as a cough.  “I’m sorry?”

Luna watched on, depressed, as she realized that she had not, in fact, been making passionate love to her closest friend, but had been walking for a fair amount of time next to him, lost in a vivid daydream.

I guess that’s all I can hope for, she sighed.  She flinched when she realized something was weighing her head down, obscuring her horn.  The same feeling was present on her haunches, where she sported saddlebags.  Where in the world did he find a hat this size?

The noblemare looked affronted; unaware of the young stallion’s amusement, she was instead offended that he hadn't heard of her family.  “Are you implying you’ve never heard of our lineage?”

“I am, madam,” he replied.  “I’m just a humble earth pony from Trottingham, Pipsqueak.” He took her hoof in his and kissed it lightly, earning an obnoxious giggle from the noblemare.  “If I may ask your name?”

Luna gritted her teeth, wishing she could set the not-at-all-attractive mare’s hoof on fire as Pipsqueak’s lips pressed against it.  Five. Years. DUNGEON.

“I am the esteemed Lady Anita, fair Pipsqueak.” She chuckled, fighting back a blush as the debonair young stallion bowed respectfully to her.

“Well, Lady Anita…Dicc?” he said cautiously, testing the waters.

Indeed!

The noblemare nodded, allowing him to refer to her on more informal terms.

Pipsqueak continued, circling around her, “How absolutely blessed your husband must be with such a comely wife!  Truly, Celestia Herself must have shown favor on him in order to acquire a lovely mare such as yourself!”

Lady Anita giggled like a schoolfilly, not knowing what to do with her limbs as she stood, beaming as the attractive colt wasted no time standing on ceremony.  “Oh my, you flatter me, young sir!  But you are mistaken, as I have never married.  The Dicc women are by tradition single by choice.  The only mare to have married in recent times would be my sister, Terra.” She made sure to bat her eyes in what was an anything-but-subtle attempt at a hint.

Dear me, I wonder why, Luna thought to herself sarcastically.

The calico-coated young stallion smirked crookedly, striking pangs of adoration in both mares’ hearts at the sight.  “Well, Lady Anita, I should be so bold as to suggest that your heart is as beautiful as the rest of you.”  The noblemare’s face was as red as an apple; clearly, she wasn’t used to receiving compliments at all, much less from an attractive stallion.  “Would you be ever so kind as to forgive my friend here?  She’s dreadfully used to dizzy spells, you see.”

The noblemare waved with a hoof casually.  “Oh, that’s all in the past, dear.  Bygones, and such.”

Pipsqueak nodded gratefully, turning to Luna briefly as if to say You owe me, mare, before turning back to the infatuated noblepony.  “We’re terribly grateful to you, madam.  Now, I’ve taken up enough of your time, I believe.  I would have to be an absolute scoundrel to keep you from your busy day.”

The mare stared at him dreamily.  “Oh, I don’t mind in the slightest.”

Pipsqueak bowed once more, saying, “Well, we had best be on our way, milady.  It was a pleasure and more meeting you this fine evening.”  He turned, guiding Luna away as they continued on their way down the street.

Pipsqueak rolled his eyes good-humoredly as he heard the excited squealing of the noblemare behind him, prancing about and whispering loudly into her hoof, “Oh, I feel so pretty!”

Luna scowled to herself as the two of them trotted in silence.  Finally, she said, “I appreciate your intervention, but do you have to go butter up every single older mare that we come across?”

Pipsqueak didn’t rise to the bait, instead saying, “Nopony wants to feel as if they’re being forgotten, Lulu.”  He turned to face her, a genuine smile on his face.  “Or unappreciated.  You of all ponies should know that.”

She flinched as he walked on ahead of her, trotting lazily towards his destination.  Shaking her head, she sped up and caught up with her friend.

“And what, pray tell, is that supposed to mean?” she snapped, still upset with him for openly flirting with another mare.  So upset, in fact, that she didn't even care that it was for her own benefit.

He stopped his trot, stepping closer to look her in the eyes.  “What do you want it to mean?”

Shocked, she opened her mouth to reply...

...only to find that she had no response.

Pipsqueak held the gaze a moment longer, before beginning his trot anew, letting his tail graze slightly against her coat.