takes place after S7 E7, (Parental Glidance.)

Rainbow Dash stood at the doorway, stunned into silence. What had started out as a simple friendly hangout had turned into an argument, with somepony she treasured and didn’t want to lose. Why had his words affected her so much? The painful ache that tore through her as soon as he had said those words.

Soarin idiotically pressed on. “I’ve seen you upset before, Rainbow. Just once. Because of that nickname. Look, nopony’s going to think less of you because you show emotion, you know? All this ‘reputation’ stuff... why’s it so important to you? It’s a little... shallow,” he responded meekly.

Is that what he really thought of her? That she was shallow? Shallow. As Twilight once called it, a pony that had little depth. Self absorbed, conceited, only looking out for themselves.

Is that was she was to him? Tears welled up in her eyes, but didn’t fall. She didn’t understand why those messy yet crystal clear words had struck such a deep nerve. Was it because they were friends? That somepony undeniably important to her that she cared about didn’t think much of her? They were teammates, they were friends, they got each other.

Or was that only from her side?

“I don’t do stupid things,” she deadpanned. “Too awesome for that.” She sent him a cocky smile that he would interpret as friendly. Soarin seemed to get her. He understood without ever trying hard to do so.

She expected him to nod, but instead he just rolled his eyes. “Everypony does stupid things. Now respectfully... tell me!” he demanded.

“What made you want to be a ‘Bolt?” she asked.

He tapped his chin. “I… I suppose my parents. They were great, always telling me I could be the best. Spitfire and I managed to watch a bit of a show from outside the arena once and that was it for me. We were so young. That was the only thing that I’ve ever wanted to be. Practiced every day, as you know. And it was all worth it when I got into the academy, the—”

“Reserves, the team,” Dash finished

He nodded. “Yeah. Best days of my life.”

His expression turned serious. “Seriously though, are you okay? I don’t know when you don’t want to race me.”

Dash just looked at him, a subtle sign for not wanting to answer.

This time, he obeyed. “Alright, alright,” he agreed.

“Good, wouldn’t want you being nosy like Rarity,” she joked solemnly.

“And you? You aren’t there ‘cause you fell asleep?” he said with an amused smile.

Dash flexed her wings and took a few more bites. “Duh, I need my naps. It can be hard work when you’re busy being as awesome as me!” she bragged.

She rubbed her magenta eyes and offered a half smile. “What’d you have in mind?”

“Well, it’s not really a game,” he admitted. “But it’s still fun. It’s called Q & A.”

Huh, she’d never heard of this one. “How do you play?”

“So, I’ll ask a question and you answer, and then you ask a question and I’ll answer.”

Dash ran over the instructions in her head, only to turn to him a second later, trying to stifle a short, loud laugh. “Soarin,” she said slowly, all smiles. “Do you mean... a conversation?”

Her commander’s ears perked up, a pink tint colouring his nose. “No! I mean Q and A,” he said defensively, avoiding eye contact.

“Uh huh,” she droned. “Sure.”

He didn’t back down. “I do though.”

“Whatever,” she laughed. “Come on, let’s play conversation.”

He crossed his arms. “Q and A.”

“Conversation.”

“Q and A.”

“Conversation,” she insisted.

His relentlessness was sweetly hilarious. “Nope, I don’t accept that term. Now, let’s begin. If you could be any other element, what would you be?”

“I can’t.”

He eyed her up and down at her answer, before shaking his head in understanding. “I suppose it would feel wrong, right? When you all represent your own so well?” Those emeralds flickered in the light.

A content smile spread over Dash’s face. Even though he had asked the question, he still got her hesitancy for answering. “Exactly right, Clip,” she said, a soft note coating her voice.

“Hey, who was on the ‘top of most popular Wonderbolts within a month’ list?”

He had the perfect comeback for that. “Who made it to second-in-command after being on the team for two weeks?” he shot back, just playing around and not actually bragging about his accomplishments.

“No, I get it. Sometimes the quiet isn’t needed, especially if it happened when you were in a bad frame of mind.”

Dash rested her head down, and peered up at him through her lashes. “You get it,” she murmured. “I guess you get me.”

He smiled down at her. “Ditto.” His eyes peeled away and looked down. “You’re going to sleep here? Right now?”

She nodded sleepily. “I have a kind of weird sleep schedule,” she yawned. “You can stay if you want, just not too close. I feel like stretching out.”

He nodded. “So it’s okay if I don’t feel like talking then?”

Dash nodded as well. “Duh, are our silences awkward or something?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know, I never thought so.” His eyes flittered back and forth nervously. “Did you?”

Dash chuckled, rolling onto her side. “No. Now shut up, I’m trying to sleep.” Her rose eyes shut.

Those were just a few of so many moments.

She was mad that he had pushed, insulted, borderline humiliated her. But it was her own stubbornness that wouldn’t truly let herself be more vulnerable with him, in the end, it had been her that pushed him away. How could she not? The way his words had struck had her terrified. She had never had someone be so upfront and straight to it, ready to call her out on her ego, and deep down, her fear.

“You know, Crash, in the future when I ask you something personal, just say don’t want to talk about it,” he snapped. “Because this load of crap about being all cool and mysterious can be really annoying! Why can’t you just accept that I care? That you don’t have to be all ‘Oh I’m Rainbow Danger Dash and I’m the best’! That I’m not here to make fun of you! That I would never tell anypony because I want you to trust me, because I li—“ he stopped short, panting and glaring.

What was it that made him stop? ‘I lie’, ‘I like’, ‘I line’. Well, the last one didn’t make sense, but the other two? What could he haves ‘lied’ about? What could he have ‘like’ or ‘liked’? Dash was so confused. She knew she herself could be egotistically annoying, but she never thought that anypony would ever tell her that. Ever call her out. Maybe she deserved it, deserved his harsh words.

Why did she care so much what he thought of her?

Why did she care about him?

She lowered her head. “Why?”

“Oh, um, Rainbow Dash? What a pleasant surprise,” Fluttershy said sweetly. “Come in.” She stepped aside and Dash hurried through the door with Tank following her, the slight hum of his helicopter attachment following them inside. Immediately, he found his and Fluttershy’s friend Constance, and floated over to her.

“Doesn’t she not actually live with you?” Dash questioned, pointing to the bird.

Fluttershy smiled fondly as Tank grinned in the presence of his friend. “She stopped in for a visit.” ‘Shy motioned to the couch. “Would you like some tea?” she offered.

Dash wasn’t a tea drinker, but she knew Rarity drank it to help her relax, and Fluttershy found it soothing, two things she needed right now. “Sure, thanks,” she said, taking a seat on the couch.

Fluttershy left the room just as Dash leaned back, positioning herself more comfortably on the green couch. After failing to figure out by herself why Soarin’s comment had bothered her even more than if one of her friends had said it, Dash had come to the pony she knew would try to help and would never intentionally overstep. Unlike him, she thought bitterly. He had been such an asshole, getting up in her face like that, wanting to know why she acted the way she did.

“Here’s your tea.”

She blinked her way back into reality, taking the mug with a wing and blowing on it. “Thanks.”

Once Fluttershy was settled next to her, she casually sipped her tea and asked, “So, if you don’t mind me asking, what brought you here?”

Dash leaned on her forearm and let out a quiet sigh, the light in her eyes flickering out.

Fluttershy placed a hoof on hers. “Are you okay, Rainbow?”

Despite their closeness, Dash still felt a little, well, shy. It wasn’t every day she opened up, especially when it was accompanied by confusing emotions consisting of anger and sadness and disappointment. “Well, you see…”

“You don’t have to,” Fluttershy said gently.

Fluttershy would not push her, she would not pressure, she would simply sit there and listen. Dash was sure of that. “Soarin and I… had a fight.” She glanced down at her tea and took a drink of the hot liquid, instead focusing on the slightly bland taste.

“Oh. Do you… want to talk about it?”

Still looking away, Dash nodded her head.

“Okay. Whenever you’re ready, I’m listening.”

Her gentle voice reassured Dash, giving her the confidence to speak. “Well, I invited him to my house to meet Tank,” she started. “And then, you know, I showed him around the place and we were talking and stuff. Anyways, we sort of talking about relationships…” She cringed and flushed. “And I joked about how I would never be too mushy. And then he just asked why I always act the way I do. I just said it was the way I was.” Dash could feel the frustration in her rising up again, recalling the fight had made the feelings much more vivid, her anger much more upfront. “I told him he didn’t understand and asked him to leave. He did.” Her voice shook slightly, for it was what he said later that had really hurt. “Um, a few seconds later, he came back. And told me that my ‘awesomeness—” She used quotations. “Could be annoying cause I never let myself be vulnerable, and was mad because… he cared.” Why can’t you just accept that I care? That you don’t have to be all ‘Oh I’m Rainbow Danger Dash and I’m the best’! That I’m not here to make fun of you! The passion in those words undid her. “Then I told him to leave again. And I came here.”

Finally, she looked up into Fluttershy’s blue eyes to see them contemplative and focused, while also sympathetic. “I’m sorry he said those things, Dashie,” she finally said.

Dash didn’t say anything. “It wasn’t really the fight that was the problem,” she admitted after a few minutes. “It’s just… the words, they, uh, I don’t know…”

“Hurt you?” ‘Shy guessed softly.

Dash flushed a little and gave a slight nod.

“Of course they would. They would hurt anypony, especially from a good friend like Soarin.”

Dash instantly felt defensive. Soarin was a good friend, but she didn’t consider him to be one right now. “He doesn’t get to ask me those questions. They’re personal!” Her voice rose slightly. “Who does he think he is, trying to figure me out like I’m some sort of deep mystery. I don’t like to show all my feelings all the time, so what? And I amawesome. I am worthy, and I don’t deserve to be yelled at like the way he did to me today!” she shouted angrily.

Dash turned to see all the animals staring at her with wide eyes. Even Angel didn’t dare to interrupt Dash’s rage. “I don’t deserve it. We were such good friends, Flutters. How could he say those things?” She sighed again, feeling the weight of some sort of feeling so foreign to her she thought she wasn’t even in her own mind anymore. “How could he say those things?” she repeated softly.

“Oh, Rainbow Dash.” Immediately, her oldest friend was by her side, wrapping an arm around here. “I’m so sorry.”

The kindness she was being shown touched Dash so much that a wave of love for Fluttershy surged through her. She trusted ‘Shy. She could talk. “It felt different, you know,” she whispered, “the feelings. The hurt.”

“How so?”

Dash didn’t answer right away, trying to put into words that didn’t sound like a complete jumble. How could she describe it? “When I fight with anyone else, save for you guys or Scootaloo or my parents, I know I’ll be okay if things don’t work out in the end,” she murmured. “He hurt my feelings, but… I don’t want to lose him. I think… I think he’s one of my best friends or something. I was just so shocked, almost impressed, that he could say those things to me. It was kind of, um…” She paused, not wanting to say it.

Luckily, Fluttershy did. “Scary.”

Dash nodded solemnly. “The way he saw through me. The way he sees through me. Every time he does I just feel happy, that because he cares, right? That’s what he said?”

Why can’t you just accept that I care?

After a few moments, a reply came. “He shouldn’t have said those things to you. But yes, he definitely cares about you.” She could feel ‘Shy’s smile. “He cares a lot.”

Dash blushed, a fuzzy feeling growing in her hooves. “I love being around you guys and him just the same,” she said slowly. Oh my gosh. “But it feels different when I’m with him.” No. “I feel different when I’m with him, and I don’t know what it is.”

That was now a lie. A plain lie. She knew what it was the second those words left her lips. Why she had those heart palpitations, the warmness of her coat when he was near, the way his gaze made her swallow, the very intense fondness she had for him, her dedication to their friendship. She had felt it before, but never like this. Dash knew. And it was awful knowing. But she couldn’t say it yet.

Couldn’t say it out loud.

Not yet.

Fluttershy took a deep breath. “Oh… um… Rainbow, you… might not like what I’m going to suggest.”

Dash knew what it was, but sometimes ‘Shy had a way of surprising her. “Before you say anything,” she interrupted, “promise me this doesn’t leave your house. Not by you or Angel or anyone. This is so not my thing, I just needed some guidance.”

Fluttershy raised an eyebrow and turned, only to frown. “Angel! Don’t listen,” she scolded.

Angel tapped his foot, giving her a challenging stare.

Fluttershy held her gaze, eyes narrowing until it turned into a famous look— The stare.

The small bunny immediately hopped away.

Dash coughed awkwardly. “What were you going to say, Flutters?”

“Oh! Well.” She flushed a little. “Um, maybe… you like him?”

Dash frowned and leaned a little closer. “Sorry, what was that?” She had a good idea, but had to head it from somepony else, no matter how embarrassing it was.

“Maybe you like him?” she whispered again.

Dash picked up on the key word, ‘like’. She swallowed. “Speak up.”

“Maybe you like him?”

Oh my… fuck. She thinks so too. “One more time?” Why was she doing this again.

Fluttershy groaned a little in frustration. “Maybe you like him!”

Dash’s ears perked up, a useless defence in her mind. But even then, there was zero point. Her friend was absolutely right.

She liked Soarin. A lot. She couldn’t confront it, it was too embarrassing, having feelings for your boss.
Dash flew over to Tank and gently pulled him away from Constance and headed to the door, opening it.

“Wait, Rainbow Dash, what are you doing?”

Dash couldn’t answer. Didn’t want to answer. The confusion and understanding about herself was too much to process in the company of somepony else, even somepony as comforting as Fluttershy. There was one pony she would gladly talk to, but that wasn’t an option. It was about him. And how she had a crush on him.

She couldn’t do that because they weren’t talking.
She couldn’t do it because she liked him.
She couldn’t do it because she hated him.

Why, why, why?