takes place after S9 E2, (The Beginning of The End Part II)

this was so entertaining to write. seriously.
also foreshadows things that happen in Spitfire and Fleetfoot’s lives.

another chapter out later :)

“Attention Commander and Captain!” Fleetfoot barked, flying over to the three’s cloud. It had been there for when they hung out, gigantic and fluffy, regularly shaped.

Soarin and Spitfire wearily turned to their turquoise friend, rings under their eyes. “What is it, Fleet?” Spitfire asked dully.

Fleetfoot smiled as she sat down. It was only then that Soarin noticed she had a basket with bottles. Quickly, she tossed them both a drink— one tequila for Spitfire and scotch for Soarin. “Let’s face it,” Fleetfoot began, casually opening up her beer. “We have not been honest with one another about our pathetic personal lives. Tonight I feel the need to drink and complain to my best friends. Especially after King Sombra came back from who knows where and hypnotized us and prevented Crash and her friends from saving the world for billionth time.” She paused to catch her breath before smiling with her teeth. “Who’s in?” She raised her bottle and looked patiently at them.

Truthfully, Soarin thought this sounded excellent, and he cheerily opened his bottle, knocking it against Fleet’s. “I’m in,” he agreed.

Spitfire shrugged, lifting her drink as well, causing all three to make a clinking sound. Once they all took a drink and swallowed, Spitfire’s eyes looked at them. “So who’s going first?”

Fleetfoot sighed, flopping down. “Blaze and I are dating in secret.”

“Me and Dash slept together two weeks ago,” Soarin announced. “Again.”

“Wave told me I have trust issues,” Spitfire said monotonously.

The three friends all slowly looked one another over and Soarin caught Spitfire trying to hide an ever evolving smile. Slowly, one made his way onto his face, as well as Fleetfoot’s.

“So... all our love lives...” Soarin mused.

“Are awful,” Fleetfoot finished wearily.

“Basically,” Spitfire confirmed. “And why didn’t either of you tell me about Crash and Blaze?!”

“It was meant to be a secret,” Fleet responded.

Soarin shrugged. “We just wanted it between me and her.”

“Anyways, Soarin, you were gonna tell me at the Crystal Empire,” Fleet reminded him. “Tell us now.”

He sighed. “It’s a long story.”

“Good thing we don’t have to train tomorrow then,” Spit muttered, tracing a hoof along the cloud. “Cause we’re going to be hungover as hell.”

“We got all night,” Fleetfoot agreed.

Soarin shrugged. “Alright, I liked her for a long time. Probably since the royal wedding. And then she joined the team, and I realized I liked her. Took me two years,” he admitted. “Then we were really great friends, and then we had a fight and then we made up and it started to snow at my house and~” He paused to catch his breath, images of Dash flitting through his mind. “And so she had to stay and then we were talking... a moment later and I was on top of her and we had sex. We agreed not to have a relationship cause of work, so we just were friends with benefits. And then the whole thing in Las Pegasus and we ended it and then later we were growing closer. We, or she ended it again. And then-“

“You guys kissed on the balcony in the empire and had sex at the end-of-the-season party,” Fleet finished, gulping down her beer.

Spitfire laughed. “That’s messy.”

Soarin sighed. “I don’t think she wants a serious relationship. Or she didn’t before... or maybe she did, but I said no. Even though I did. I was just scared. She deserves better then me, I have too many responsibilities for a proper thing. At least I thought I did, and I do but...” he trailed off. “Fuck why did I say no?!” he groaned loudly. “Like... she said it was too bad after the first time but...” He put his head on the ground. “I don’t know, I should have tried. I’d do anything for that mare,” he finished softly.

“I do not have trust issues!” Spitfire yelled, not bothering to respond to Soarin. “I’m in a relationship with him, aren’t I?”

“And Blaze should not be mad at me cause I haven’t come out to my parents or any pony except the team!”

Spitfire rolled her eyes. “Ugh, stallions.”

Fleetfoot and Soarin looked at each other and nodded. “More like, ugh, mares,” Fleetfoot corrected and Soarin shook his head in agreement.

“What is with you stallions?” Spitfire continued. “Why do you think we have trust issues? I’ll let you know I’m a perfectly stable and happy pony.”

Fleet scoffed a little. “Spit, come on. I know you don’t like to talk about it, but your dad verbally and physically abused you till you were nine, then ran off and married some other mare and he never visited you again. It was just you and your mom. The only other somewhat serious relationship you had was about eight years ago, and he ended up cheating on you. You have some abandonment issues, like it or not.”

Spitfire greedily gulped down her tequila in a matter of two minutes and let out a long sigh. “Way to put it bluntly, Fleet.”

“She’s kinda right,” Soarin pointed out. “Maybe you should talk to somepony, like a counsellor?”

“You seriously haven’t given that up, huh?” Spitfire muttered, glancing at the basket. “I thought we were here to complain, not tell me that I should go spill my feelings to somepony I don’t even know.” She looked at the two.

Fleetfoot shrugged. “True. Here ya go, it’s not tequila, but you like rum and coke, right? I mixed it before.”

“Has Dash told you two anything? Did she have a bad experience with somepony else besides that other coltfriend from when she was in her teens? Or is she just really, really loyal and really, really great?” Soarin groaned. “Please let it be the first one.”

“And she took forever to tell her parents she didn’t like stallions! Why is she annoyed with me? Public relationships when you’re a celebrity are awful!” Fleet added, finishing her beer and extended her hoof to Soarin. “C’mon, I need some scotch.”

“I just wanna be with her... maybe I should make her jealous!” Soarin grinned.

“Girls don’t always like that,” Spitfire replied. “Makes them think you’re over them and then they try to move on.”

“Maybe I should do that then. I met a girl at Celestia and Luna’s party in Manehattan. She was sweet and pretty and a unicorn and we hung out after the derby in Canterlot...” Sighing, Soarin reached into the basket and grabbed a cooler. “And she likes pie and is not reckless and cocky!”

“He has no right to tell me if I have issues.” Spitfire glowered.

“Maybe this was never gonna work, maybe we should breakup,” Fleetfoot suggested out into the air.

Soarin turned. “I kinda like you and... uh, what’s her name again?” He laughed. “Oh, right, Laze! No, Blaze. Yeah, you two are good...”

“So what if I freaked out when I thought he was talking to another girl... even if that turned out to be his sister? It could have been some secret girlfriend! And I’m a busy mare, I’m the captain of the Wonderbolts, and I don’t always have time for ponies!”

“Wave’s been in love with you forever,” Soarin droned. “Just like I liked Dash and didn’t even know it... and she liked me and then she loved me and she was so amazing and she got me and I threw it all away for... I dunno,” he mumbled. “I hate my stupid brain. I shouldn’t be allowed to make decisions.

“Why’d I have to fall for Wave?”

“At least Wave’s humble and doesn’t drone on about how awesome he is.”

“At least Rainbow doesn’t~”

Soarin stumbled to his hooves and let out a long burp. “But she is awesome! She isn’t even wrong! Ugh, she’s too good for me. I’m such a loser,” he moaned sadly.

“I’m ruining the one good, stable relationship I ever had,” Spitfire said. “If that makes you feel better.”

Soarin nodded. It did make him feel better. “I’m gonna ask Midnight on a date...”

“What does she have that Rainbow doesn’t?” Fleet asked, also standing up.

Soarin shrugged. “Well, she has a horn, she isn’t overly competitive or hotheaded, she likes pie, she doesn’t make me crazy horny, overwhelmed with adoration and she doesn’t make me feel like I always wanna be around her!” Soarin complained all in one breath.

“Yeah,” Fleetfoot sighed. “I mean, at least you guys have the courtesy to make me not feel like that.”

“Agreed!” Spitfire shouted. “Thank you.”

Half an hour later and the three were silently laying on the cloud, feeling queasy and sorry for themselves.

“We have these amazing ponies. Why can’t our relationships be more simple?” Soarin questioned sadly.

“Nothing’s simple,” Spitfire answered.

“Okay, so our personal lives aren’t the greatest and we all love ponies who are currently trying not to talk to us or are just angry while we drink and talk about them all night?”

“Yep,” Fleetfoot said, popping the ‘P’.

Spitfire looked at the two of them. “Oh wow. Seriously, we’re all losers.”

Fleetfoot and Soarin merely chuckled and rested their heads down. “Agreed,” they said.