Celestia’s sun shone bright through the wide window of the motel, blazing right onto Soarin’s eyes. Groggily, he opened them and instantly shut them tight, last night’s events coming rushing back. The bar, his friends, Lightning and Dash, her drunk, them in the motel. He didn’t want to get up, but he knew he had to. Knowing Spitfire, she’d want to do some exercises that day and they still had to fly back to HQ. Plus, his curiosity was burning to know about Lightning and Dash. Although... they probably wouldn’t remember. Maybe Wave would have answers.

Throwing off the warm blankets, Soarin slowly stood up and lazily pulled the covers up, tossing the decorative pillows back on the bed and made his way over to Dash, who was snoring softly as usual, her lies tightly shut, sweat at her brow.

He sighed, glancing at the clock. It read 11 o’ clock. Made sense, they had all had a late night. Hopefully Spitfire wouldn’t be too annoyed. Soarin stood, watching Dash’s chest rise and fall, before deciding to wake her up. He moved to the side of her bed and shook her. She grunted a few times and groaned before her eyelids lifted, looking unfocused.

“Huh?” she mumbled and flinched. “Celestia, my head hurts,” she whispered.

He smiled softly. “Regretful hangover?”

Her gaze finally landed on him, her bright eyes piercing right through him. “Hangover,” she corrected, smiling through her pain. “That cider was damn good.”

Soarin managed to conceal his chuckle. “How ‘bout some coffee and a quick breakfast? We can take a balloon if you don’t feel like flying all the way back to headquarters.”

“Sure, yeah... we don’t have training today, do we?” she asked, getting up, not bothering to make the bed. “How’d we end up here anyways?”

Soarin bit his lip and instead handed her a cup of water. “I’ll tell you on the way back.”

“It’s bad, it isn’t?” she mumbled, looking in the mirror and cringing, trying to smooth her mane. She quickly gave up. To Soarin, it just added to her wild appeal. Her bangs were more ruffled and there was some messy waves in the rest of it where it was normally all smooth and straight.

He didn’t reply as they walked out the door and headed down the stairs, where they were greeted with the grey receptionist pony from earlier.

“Ah, morning folks, how was your night, sir?”

Dash instantly flattened her ears. “Not so loud, huh?” she snipped as nicely as she could.

The receptionist rolled his brown eyes. “Sorry, miss.”

“It was good, thanks. You know where we can get some breakfast?” Soarin answered.

He nodded. “The motel has a complimentary one right through there,” he replied, pointing through a curtain. “Coffee, fruit, toast, the usual.”

Soarin nodded politely. “Thanks. Have a good day.” He and Dash walked away and through the curtain.

There were two tables. One filled with stacks of bread, croissants, donuts, croissants, you name it. The other had all types of fruit, spreads, hard boiled eggs, and oatmeal packets, along with can of apple juice, orange juice, milk and water. And of course, a smaller table with a coffee pot and a cupboard full of plain blue mugs above it.

“Coffee!” Dash exclaimed, walking over and turning on the pot while grabbing a mug.

Soarin made his way to the food and placed some eggs, fruit, and toast with some raspberry jam on it. He made his way over to a small table and began to eat slowly.

Dash came over a couple minutes later and placed another mug of coffee in front of him. “Wasn’t sure if you’d want some,” she said.

“Thanks,” he replied, taking a sip, letting the strong taste wash over him.

He looked up to see her bowl filled with oatmeal and strawberries, and another plate with a muffin,
donut, and two mini croissants on it. Soarin amusedly raised his eyebrows at the two very different
types of breakfasts she seemed to be having.

“Please judge another day,” she mumbled, rubbing her eyes. “I barely ate yesterday. I need the sugar rush.”

Soarin hid a smirk by drinking more coffee. “No judgment here,” he told her. He was trying his hardest to act disinterested while still friendly. She had to figure out something was wrong by herself, which he was sure she was starting to.

They ate slowly in silence, thoughts of last night still stuck in Soarin’s mind on repeat.

He shoved the last piece of toast into his mouth when a cyan hoof came down on the table. “What is up with you?” Dash frowned, peering confusedly. “You’ve barely said a word to me all morning and you won’t tell me what went down last night. Did I say something?” She then winced at the loudness of her voice.

Soarin sighed. “Look, Rainbow, we’ll talk about it later, alright?”

“Fine, yeah, alright,” she mumbled and went back to eating.

Ten minutes later and the two were in a balloon, taking off for HQ. In silence of course. Soarin still didn’t know what to say. It didn’t seem like she remembered anything that had happened. And technically... was she even doing something wrong last night? Sure, she may have been about to hook up with Lightning Streak, but Dash was not his girlfriend. She could do as she pleased. And yet, what about all that time they had spent together? Pranking and talking. Laughing and teasing. Exchanging foalhood stories and secrets. Whispering words of care and affection, something neither had done too often, especially the mare. Making love.

Then again, did she really have no idea who she was with? That hurt a little. She thought Lightning could have been him, and there was nothing similar about the to Wonderbolts, except for the fact Lightning’s coat was a couple shades darker than his. Yet she had clearly wanted Soarin, something he could not forget. “Soarin! Clipper! You’re there and I’m here and and... why am I not with you?” she wailed. Her raspy voice was weak and confused, messy and slurred.

“Talk to me, Soarin,” Dash said, sitting across from him. “Just not too loudly, I have a major headache, but nothin’ I can’t handle, ya know, cause~”

He rolled his eyes. “‘Cause you’re just so awesome?” he finished sarcastically.

Her cerulean face turned slightly red. “Right, sorry,” she muttered. “Seriously, please. Tell me what I did.”

“You technically didn’t do anything wrong,” he muttered under his breath.

She heard it though, and her magenta eyes shifted to the ground, and released an annoyed breath from her nose. “I don’t get it.”

He stayed quiet.

“Come on, Soarin, let me fix this,” she growled impatiently.

Soarin glared up at her. “You spent the whole evening with Lightning.”

She cocked an eyebrow, clearly unimpressed. “Yeah, and?”

He had no appreciation for the tone she held. “And I turn my back for a few seconds while talking to Winds, and you two are in the Very Important Ponies room, with him pressing you against the wall and his lips on your fucking neck,” he snapped.

Dash’s mouth formed a thin line and she breathed heavily. Ears flattening against her head, shoulders sagged. “What?”

Soarin shrugged, unable to look at her. “That’s how I found you. And then you... realized he wasn’t me,” he continued quietly, keeping a little of the brash edge in his voice. “And he tried to get you to be okay with it, said I wasn’t there, so I stepped out. I pulled him off of you and you... were upset...”

“Because I wanted to be with you,” she finished. “All I know last night is that I wanted to be with you.”

Soarin gritted his teeth at her words. “I know we aren’t together. But we spend a lot of time alone, Rainbow. Even drunk... Lightning and I... we don’t look anything alike.”

Rose eyes drifted to the clouds. “Yeah... I was really drunk. And I’m not trying to excuse myself, but Lightning’s a good friend. And I’m not apologizing for spending time with him. But I don’t even know why we ended up going there. I guess he did those things and I was so out of it I wanted it to be you.” She sighed. “I’m sorry.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” he whispered.

“Maybe not technically,” she replied. “But I hurt you, intentional or not. So I’m sorry. I meant what I told you before I fell asleep,” she added softly. “You’re the only one I want, Soarin.”

“You remember,” he said slowly.

She chuckled slightly. “Not to get sappy, but yeah. You’re the only one I want, Soarin,” she repeated.

He sighed, still feeling insecure. Turning his head, he saw that they were nearing Headquarters and made a decision that broke his heart in two. They were confused. Their relationship clean and messy at the same time. Maybe they didn’t work. Maybe he was too insecure, her too wild. The same, yet different.

And unfortunately, they needed this. What he was about to say. He needed to tell her, because clearly this couldn’t work out. It was complicated. He couldn’t keep doing this. She wanted him, he was sure of that, but even though it was his decision, he hated how they couldn’t be together.

Just one more try, a voice in his mind told him. Soarin listened.

“Rainbow Dash, what would you say to being together?” he questioned, hiding his nerves.

The inquiry took her by surprise and she just stared for a few minutes before finally opening her mouth. “I... I don’t k-know,” she stammered. “I don’t know. We’re busy a lot of the time, Soar, and you didn’t want a relationship, remember?”

He frowned. “I did. I just didn’t think we could do it.”

She matched his frown with an annoyed glint in her eye. “Why do you think you can now?”

“I don’t know if I can, but I can’t take this whole friends with benefits for much longer,” he said darkly. “It’s eating me alive, still knowing that you are free to be anypony else’s except mine.”

Dash sighed. “I’m busy a lot. I’m a Wonderbolt, a teacher, I save Equestria, I spend a lot of time with my friends, and I’ve always been too awesome for stallions.” She breathed deeply. “So, I don’t know,” she repeated.

“What do you mean you don’t know?” he asked, desperation creeping in. “You either want to be with me or you don’t.”

She stayed quiet for a long time, looking away. A hint of regret in her face for what he could see.

“Are you... what, embarrassed to be with me?” he asked, tilting his head.

Her cerise eyes flew open and she violently shook her head. “Of course not.”

Soarin just laughed at the irony. “I’m ridiculously in love with you,” he chuckled, shaking his head.
He watched her jaw drop, but he continued, “You cocky, brash, self obsessed, hot headed, feisty mare. I love you. And it tears me apart that you’ve never truly been mine. And by what you just told me, you never will be,” he continued. And so he broke his own heart when we said the words. “So I’m ending our little rendezvous, joke of a relationship, whatever you wanna call it,” he finished. Soarin didn’t glance in her direction, afraid he would take it all back if he did.

“I... Soarin...”

Looking away, he flew out of the basket and took one look back at her shocked face. “Make sure you land safely, take care of your headache. Goodbye, Rainbow Dash.”

And as he flew towards headquarters, ignoring the sound of her breaking voice calling him, he put on a mask, and covered his feelings.

continuation of last chapter. again, don’t know how to feel about this one. but yeah, uh, drama.

also, in reference to Rainbow’s “I barely ate yesterday.”
that was a one time thing. she was busy. she eats regularly.
even if you have body issues, you still need to eat, no matter how scary it is. please. it’s terrifying and you hate food and it’s the end of the world if you gain weight... except it’s not. i’ve struggled with anorexia, bulimia, body dysmorphia and exercise addiction for the longest time, and i’m prob going into too much detail for a simple sentence, but incase this hit anybody the wrong way, i had to say it.