What...?

What was she thinking? What possessed her to ask such a question? What did she expect me to say? What... What am I doing? I'm running... No, I'm walking. My legs as heavy as the moon itself, all I can do is walk. What am I to walk to? I suppose 'to' does not matter. 'Away' is the primary in this case. Away from... That. What was she expecting? What was I supposed to say? My head feels as if a swarm of locus were just set free.

Funny... I would take a horde of locus over this feeling right now.

No... That in no way is funny. It's horrid... Everything that just occurred... it was beyond horrid. What was I supposed to tell her? By Celestia, I wish I had my organizer and charts right now. I could've run a few pros and cons on this situation and mapped out the possible routes I could have taken. Just like any situation, I could have found the best solution for my best interest. But, no... I panicked. They always speak of these 'decisive moments'; saying that you won't know how to deal with it once it happens. While I hoped that even I could have been prepared for any such event... I... I wasn't prepared for this.

Why...?

Why did she ask me? Why did she have to do this? Why did she have to ruin what we had? I thought things were fine. The way they were was satisfactory. Even if I could complain about some minute details in the grand scheme of it; I had no issues on the factors of the end. Why had it come to this of all things? Of all things for her to ask me... Why this? Why did she ask me to choose? She knows my feelings... She is aware of her value to me... So why would she have my choose?

I can't answer her... There can be no answer here. In all my life, I had no idea I would be given this... An ultimatum. A requiem of cataclysmic repercussions in latent form. Of all the things to ask of me... Why must she choose to ask me to pick between her and my reputation? I am a respected musician, artist, and account among the gatherings of many courts. These are levels of reputation I have clawed my life through to reach. Now... She asks me to let that go? For anyone else I would curse them out and demolish their self-worth! But...

Vinyl Scratch... Why? Why is it that no matter how my feet move, I feel I go nowhere further? I still hear your crying... I want it to stop. I want to hold you and... I can't. I won't... I...

Heh... Humorous. I can recall the last time I cried because of you. How long ago was it? A year I believe. Yes. What possessed her, I don't know... But such a possession should happen to more people in my opinion. Clear as day I can recant that day... As pure and crisp as the snow fall on that early winter day. It goes without any saying that Vinyl is not all too brilliant... Well... Unless you ask her on the details of science or history. Beside the point. Even in her greater youth, Vinyl has never displayed any talent outside of musical understanding. Some would have even called her dim-witted. Myself included.

Yet, as we grew up along side one another through forced interactions, I gathered she was not dim... Well... not too dim. In a sense, I viewed her almost as a mental equal on some levels. However, I digress. To the matter, a year ago on that early winter, she brought me to tears. Sweet, beautiful tears. Not with spoken words, not with an action oh physical device... But with written word. Written words that, by the large, I could not even read...

You see, Vinyl and I have had a sordid past with one another; one sided mind you. To this day, I do not know for what reason she was interested in me for; though I can state many reasons I have been sought after before. But, the difference being that those that sought after me gave up at some point... She never did. Years went by with her pestering and following me to no end. In the school hallway, in the town streets, she even found ways to covertly win a position within my house after school. Persistent... Even more persistent was her insufferable notes she wrote me over and over. Pages upon pages of notes. Most irritating of them all was that each was a page, yet none ever broke a paragraph. She cluttered me with these notes detailing more and more of her interest of me. It grew to a bother...

Time after time, I would throw them out into the trash, drop them into puddles of water, even feeding them to dogs. I meant no ill will by it too much, but the act was annoying. After a while, she stopped giving me them and decided to just pursue me personally. The tale of that is another matter not related to this matter. Regardless, we moved in with one another to where we are now. I gave her a home-warming gift which she wears to this day. As it were, she gave me something as well. Full-circle, if you will.

What she gave me was a hulking pile of ripped, crinkled, and worn pieces of paper stapled together in the most shabby of stapling jobs. I was courteous and said thank you, despite how mundane the gift was. And yet, she insisted that I read it. Even I had to laugh at that in spite of how nice I was trying to be. The binding of papers had to be well over thirty pages, many of which were unreadable. But, she persisted... As I read through them, some of the words seemed to spontaneously spark bells to me... As if I had seen them before.

"Sweet as pie is, I think your rear looks even sweeter."

"Only you could make denim jeans look fancy and sexy at the same time."

"Me, you, and a piano; piece that one together."

"Everyone thinks you're cool. They must've grown up by volcanoes because you are HOT!"

"Don't you think your back gets tired after holding up those jugs? Let me hold them for a little bit some time."

"Aren't you ever going to go to the beach? Or are you going to give me a private show of you in a swimsuit? I could go either way."

"You have some of the nicest curves in the town. I say some because I'm sure they look better without covering. Want to help me prove that?"

"Yelling is a great way to relieve stress... I'm just going to let that one sit with you for a minute."

"Opening my eyes in the morning is great. It means I'm alive and I get to see you sooner or later."

"Until you go out on a date with me, I won't stop writing these. After you do go out with me I will send you more... Honesty is the best policy here, Tavi."

"When I see you, I don't see the hottest girl in school or the smart girl with the kicking body... I don't know what I see. So, I guess this one was a failure. Gonna send it to you any way."

"It could be me, but I think your buns are smoking... That was a bad one, I apologize."

"Last time I saw you you walked away. Didn't even say a word to me... I think I'm finally getting through to you!"

"Let loose once, Tavi. I bet a little loosening can go a long way for your tight end."

"Making you smile is the best thing someone like me can do. One of these days, I'll finally do it."

"Anyone who passes you will either think 'damn, that girl be smoking' or 'my goodness, that woman is indeed bringing sexy back'."

"Keep calm and stay you Tavi. It's no fun for me if you snap."

"Everybody needs somebody, sometime... Eh? Eh? You get it? AH! You get it!"

"There are two kinds of people in this world... I'll tell you those two when I think of either a clever sex joke, or a funny way of saying you're hot."

"Have you ever wondered why I sit behind you? Well, it's because by strange chance, our names just line up like that. But if I could rearrange the alphabet... Huh... I got a good one, but I'll save it. You never know."

"Ego tibi. You're a smart girl, piece that one out... (Cheat sheet: I can't live without you, I can't give you anything but love. OR something like that. Be sure to erase this before giving it to Octavia.)"

"Great minds think alike. Does that mean great bodies move alike? Hmm... Even more reason to watch yours."

"Reading these can get pretty boring, but I know you read them all Tavi! You're cool like that."

"Even I have to admit, you are really, really, really pretty..."

"Anyway I can, I will get you to date me! I'm stating it now on which ever number note we're at now!"

"Too bad I'm not that creative with these notes. If I was, I would be holding you by now. Hah!"

"Ending the school day looking at you is a pretty good motivation to come back. Too bad it's not enough to keep me passing in class."

"So... When's our first date? Because I was thinking we could have it at your place. I wanna see what you keep in your freezer! I bet it's something fancy. Like tuna."

"Try and look a little more 'blah' every so often... Competition for you keeps getting more and more heightened. If you want me to win, you gotta turn some of them off. Eh, who am I kidding? You could turn a man who hasn't had an erection in twenty years on."

"Maybe it's my imagination, but I think you smiled at me yesterday. If it was my imagination, good. When you do finally smile at me, I want to be sure of it."

"Useless as it is, I won't give up! I'll just keep throwing these at you until I run out of paper in my binder!"

"Silly question: can I borrow your binder?"

"I haven't always been interested in you... Wait... is interest different than hypnotized?"

"Can I tell you something? If yes, I'll tell you some other time. If no, well you'll have to tell me, which means you'll have to talk to me."

"It took me some time, but I think I found a word in the dictionary that fits you! Pulchritudinous! I forgot what it means, but I bet you know what it means!"

"Always so well kept and nice... You don't date much, do you?"

"Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna go around and hurt you... See what I did there?"

"It's strange that you seem to always do a little jump whenever you open your desk and see a new paper from me there. By now, I thought it would be pretty easy to expect."

"No body has a body as bobbing as your busting body. Alliteration... I think."

"Too bad I can't see your face when you read these. I bet you get so red in the face!"

"Here are a few things that make you pretty special: mirror. Boom, done."

"Empty, my binder is. But empty, my mind is not. Thoughts of you fill it... Strangely... nothing dirty."

"When we finally do go out, let's hold hands. Not for the lovey-dovey feel, or to tell people you're mine... I just kinda feel like knowing what your hand feels like. That's not weird, right?"

"Orcs are green, trolls are blue; kinda romantic, getting the clue?"

"Really gotta go to the bathroom. Won't say why, or even why I wrote that... Probably should scrap this one. But~! I never go back on anything I write for you!"

"Let's play a game some time. You be the cop, and I'll be the prisoner you nail... Again, gonna leave you with that to figure out."

"Don't stop being you, I really like you."

"Listen to this: while I write this, I'm watching you look at me. You look REALLY mad... You're so cute when you get all huffy-puffy."

"Orbs of mighty giving and plentiful enjoyment are what you bestow upon this mortal world... Drama club is really paying off, by the way. PS: I'm saying you've got AMAZING boobs."

"Very few people can say this, but I think your music sounds better when I can't see you. Nothing against you, really. It's just... when you put something beautiful before something gorgeous... It kinda mixes wrong to the eyes and leaves me confused. I better fix that before we date."

"Earning a dollar a day for that date of ours. Every day you hold off means it's gonna be even better! I think I'm up to like five hundred."

"You know what? I figured out something... You aren't hot. And you know what? That makes me even happier. That may sound harsh, but, trust me... It's -really- romantic."

"Only you can stop forest fires. How? By stop pointing the HOT ASS at anything flammable! Aim it at me... I'll take one for the team."

"Unless a giant bull runs me over, I'm still gonna look at you."

"Talking to you is great, writing to you is fine, being with you is a great find. It made sense to me before I wrote it."

"Arms open, chest out, neck turned, and lips pursed... What does all that mean? Well... I'll tell you after our first kiss. PS: that's how it's gonna go down."

"Very strange to ask you, but I don't think I've ever tried this. Bare with me. Here we go. You ready? Let's see. Will you go out with me?"

So many notes... Yet I can still somehow make them all out from the back of my mind. All of them so corny, a tad weird, and even gross at times... But how fitting that they were sent by Vinyl. However, at the bottom of the pile, I felt a crisp, new piece of paper. When I flipped it to the front, I read it with all of it's clear ink:

"I missed one, Tavia... I cheated on this one. But I won't ever cheat with you. So, lets make it even. Cheat Sheet: first letter."

First letter. All of the notes were in order of when I got them, none of them duplicated or redone in any way. Vinyl had spent so much time finding each paper she wrote and recovering them as best she could. A bit fool hearted, but... What for? I humored the idea I suppose and put each first letter of each letter in order. One by one, I pieced together a sentence. A small... Crudely thought out sentence... One that Vinyl had planned since the first note. As I felt tears fall from my eyes, I could hear Vinyl laughing. This must have been very funny to her. In so many of her letters she said I was a clever girl... Years later, I finally found out the puzzle. And... I could not have been more happy.

"Someday you will make the greatest musician in the world. Love you Tavi."

I love you as well Vinyl... And I always will. But... I don't know what to do now...