Dyrilby's Tale

by Dyrilby

Chapters

• My life
• Welcome to Hell
• Choices, choices, choices
• Explaining the unexplainable
• Perk Added: Power Armour Training
• lolwut?
• The end?

My life

Hello there. My name is Dyrilby and this is my story. This is a tale of love and loss, hate and friendship and most importantly, a tale that makes no sense whatsoever.

For you see, I grew up in a land where nothing makes sense and magic runs rampant: The OC.

I am going to tell you of my life in the OC and of my life after leaving it.

In the OC anything is possible. Us creatures, known as OC ponies, or simply OC’s take this nature with us when we leave. For instance, I could change my form from a pegasus into an Alicorn just by willing it to happen. When we leave the OC, some of this power comes with us. This is especially true of a few of us, such as Soulfire, Confetti and I. We have special powers that we can use at will. For example, Confetti can use the magic of the River. This is the magic that drives all life. Soulfire can use magic that can twist souls and destroy lives in eternal fire and I? Well I can use the powers of the mind to do anything that is within my talent tree. This is, as you can see by my cutie mark, music. I hold dominance over the world of chords, majors, minors, dominant sevenths and so on. I am especially skilled with the bass guitar, an instrument rarely seen in Equestria. I could soothe the savage beast or I could rouse Satan from his fiery den.

Back to the actual story, I appeared some years ago in a small room in the OC. Everything I could ever want or need was in that one room. Don’t ask me how it all fit in there, I have no clue. However, I soon grew bored of this seclusion and left that room, never to return. I happened to come across a unicorn by the name of Essex, who ran a nightclub in the OC. I got a job there as the DJ, after some persuasion. I worked there for a few months, but soon grew bored. I decided I wanted to leave the OC. I made my preparations and stepped off the edge of the world. You may believe that stepping off the edge of a plane of existence signals the end for you, but neigh, it heralds a new beginning.

I was born again. My parents were two pegasi living in Canterlot. They loved me and I them, but all good things must come to an end. I was accepted into a flight school at Cloudsdayle, causing me to leave the home I cherished behind. I was sad to leave my parents behind, but I knew I had to do this. They would have come with me, but they had to attend to political matters in Canterlot. I stayed with a foster family whilst I lived in Cloudsdayle. It turns out that their daughter would go on to be a bearer of one of the Elements of Harmony. The pony I am referring to is none other than the great Rainbow Dash herself. She was a great friend to me, as we had many common interests. I never could seem to beat her in a race, but likewise she could never win a rock off against me. It was with her help that I finally discovered my special talent: music. I was ecstatic when my cutie mark appeared. Rainbow did become a bit jealous at the time, for she had not performed the Sonic Rainboom then, which is the event that sparked her and the other Element bearers to receive their marks. It was a fun while in my life but, alas, I had to move on eventually.

In this next stage of my life, everything turns towards the darkness. I joined a group dedicated to the worship of the Night Princess. They were called the Lunesian Order. They sought to release Nightmare Moon from her imprisonment in the moon. I was ordered by one of my elders to seek out the one called Trixie. She had become a student of Nightmare Moon herself. She called out to her, and the Night Princess answered. This has only ever happened twice in history, and I was honoured to become her guide along her dark path. I helped her hunt down and seek vengeance upon her parents. I had my good friend Soulfire come along for the ride, and it was he who did as Trixie wanted. She wanted them to suffer a horrible, slow, painful death for abandoning her as a foal and he was only too happy to oblige. We continued on like this until the thousandth Summer Sun Celebration. On that fateful day, Nightmare Moon was released from her prison in the moon. She commanded us to attend to her, so we made our way to Ponyville, which borders with the Everfree Forest. When we arrived, the bearers of the Elements of Harmony had already put an end to Nightmare Moon, transforming her back into the princess she once was. I must admit, she is quite cute. I wouldn’t mind getting it on with her, if you know what I mean.

She invited our entourage to Canterlot, to give Trixie a formal apology for all the years she spent being tormented by Nightmare Moon. We were offered a place to stay, but Trixie wanted to leave immediately. I however, remained behind in Canterlot for a few months to catch up with all of my old friends and family. It was a great time for me. I soon moved on again, this time visiting Ponyville. It is here that I met Confetti. Confetti is a party animal, which had opened a night club there a while back. We became fast friends and he needed a bass player in his band. I was only too happy oblige. We performed at many awesome events, including an event being specially held for a young colt who was going to die soon. Unfortunately, he died at the show. It was a great loss for us all. I did attempt to perform a piece of my own creation in his honour, but I was bucked in the face and dragged offstage. I gotta admit, that hurt a whole lot. I eventually met an amazing mare, who would become the love of my life: Twilight Sparkle. Confetti had found love in Pinkie Pie, as they both loved to party and be completely random. Twilight and I were more down to earth, studious types. We found something in each other that neither of us had known before. She loved me and I loved her. It was the perfect existence. Spike was too large to live in the library by this point, and he had a new home, in the mountains near Ponyville. We had the library to ourselves and I loved it. It was a home like I had never had before. It was better than my room in my parent’s Canterlot mansion, better than the home I had owned in the OC and so much better than the crude camps I had lived in when travelling. It was better than any of those because the mare I loved was there with me. We had one child, a filly, named Star, in honour of her mother. She was the greatest kid you’d ever meet. All things come to an end and soon she was an adult. She moved to Canterlot to join Celestia’s court. It was one of the happiest days of my life when she told us that Celestia had chosen her to be part of her cabinet. I was crying in joy. My daughter was happy, I had Twilight and the world was at peace. Nothing could ruin this perfect existence.

It is with these last words that I must leave you. I do not have long left to live. I am over 80 years old now. Twilight and I shared a wonderful life together. It is nearly my time to pass into the void, to be born again in the Twisting Nether of Original Content. The OC is beckoning me. It is nearly my time. I may be reborn as anything. I could wake up tomorrow as a zebra or a griffin, who knows? Or I may never wake up at all. Few of us are gifted with the power and knowledge that I possess. Many who leave the OC remember nothing of it. For my knowledge of it, I truly have been blessed. I would like to thank all you stallions and mares, fillies and colts, zebras and griffins who have made my existence great. I may see you in the next world or I may not.  May the Goddesses guide your spirits.

Welcome to Hell

Darkness… An empty pit… Nothing should be able to exist here. It didn’t seem possible that I could be here. I had no idea who or what I was. All I knew is that I existed in this point of time. Suddenly, there was a winking red light. It appeared at what I instinctively knew was a tunnel. I moved towards it, gliding through the place. The light steadily grew larger. I wanted that light, no matter what. I knew that it was my destiny. It grew ever larger, until I could see that it was at the end of the passageway. I stepped across the threshold to be greeted with a sight which could not be explained, even if thousands of books were written about it. I walked forward, to be greeted by a blood red unicorn, with a mane that flickered, as if it were on fire. He seemed passive, but looked as if he could explode at the slightest provocation. He was large; almost as big as Princess Celestia. I somehow knew who she was, but I knew nothing of her. Had I met her before? I didn’t know.

“Welcome, welcome, so nice to finally meet you, Dyrilby. My name is Satan. And this is my home; Hell.” cackled the blood red pony. “We have long awaited your arrival. Many of the ponies you knew in life now reside in these hallowed halls. Some are destined to remain here for eternity, but you my friend, can be so much more. You are a being of the OC; therefore, you receive a choice. Remain here, with your loved ones, friends and family, or move on. If you remain here, you will be free to do as you wish, as long as you do no anger me or upset my work. If you move on, you will be as before: born anew in the OC, what as, I have not a clue. It is up to you, Dyrilby. Remain with your loved ones or move on. Both choices have repercussions. Choose wisely.”

With that, Satan disappeared in a puff of black smoke.

“What should I do?  I don’t know what I should do…. Anything is possible, but I need to make the right choice…”

Choices, choices, choices

(Author's note: I sincerely apologize for these chapters being so short. I am yet to get to the exciting bit, but you must understand the past, before you can comprehend the future. (Hey, I could become a person who make great quotes!). Once again, sorry for them being so short.)

Everyone ends up in Death’s realm eventually. Not even the Princesses can escape his clutches. He is the puller of the strings, the drawer of the nets. They may appear to be immortal, but they will find their peace eventually. I am one of the lucky ones. Death may be a harsh and cruel bastard, but he does show mercy to those worth of it. I am lucky to not be in one of his torture chambers now, for my role in Nightmare Moon’s release. For this, I am grateful…

Satan had presented me with a difficult choice. To stay and be with my loved ones for eternity, or to leave and begin anew as the gods know what. Both choices were full of great reward and both full of great suffering and loss. If I elected to stay, I was here for eternity. If I elected to leave, I would live with the knowledge of having abandoned those who love me. I had no idea what to do. But time flies when you’re burning alive, so I had to come to my decision quickly. I was thankful that Twilight was not in Satan’s realm. She was with her friends in Heaven, in the Halls of Faust. I wished I could see her, but I had sinned terribly. I had helped release Nightmare Moon from her thousand year imprisonment, I had destroyed ponies’ lives and I had killed. The blood of many stained my hooves. I would never be permitted to enter Heaven. I knew that the world would be safer without me, but I knew that if I began anew and adhered to the divine codes that I had a chance for redemption.

“So, my little pony, have you made your decision? Many of your friends, including the one called Trixie, reside here. Do you wish to stay here with them, or do you wish to move on to a new life?” questioned Satan.

“I have reached my decision, Satan. I wish to begin anew. I know that the world above is better off without me, but I do not wish to remain in Hell. It is a little hot for my taste. I shall maybe see you in a hundred years’ time. Farewell, Lord of the Underworld.”

Satan merely laughed and cast a bolt of magic at me, which destroyed my physical being. My spirit wandered for a time, until I found a place I recognised. The Twisting Nether of creation; The beginning and the end; The OC.

Explaining the unexplainable

The OC is unexplainable. It is infinite, yet finite. Everything is here at one point. The OC is always changing, never in one state or another. It is like looking into the void and seeing the void stare back at you. Most of the time, it just looks like any large city. It is full of exotic creations, from OC ponies like me all the way up to things that have a true form too terrible to comprehend. The OC is all things.

For now though, I am going to tell you of my life in the OC. When I was created, the OC looked like a golden paradise full of mystical creations. That lasted about 15 minutes, until I appeared in a small grey room. The room had everything you could ever want or need. I cannot explain this, except by saying, “It’s magic. I ain’t gotta explain that shit.”

The room had one door. The exit to the rest of the OC. Once you choose to cross that threshold, you can never return to that room, save by powerful magic held by those with my special ability: remembrance. Only beings of the OC can have this power, and very few creatures have it. It is a one in twenty seven thousand chance. For this, I am blessed. I can remember everything I have ever done. Every last detail, right down to the individual droplets of blood I spilled.

As I have previously mentioned, I have killed many times. Very few of those times were out of defence. Many times, it was a cold, heartless execution. I did it under my elder’s orders, when I was a member of the Lunesian Monks. They were cruel, heartless, sadistic bastards, but they had a way with words and money. I left their order after having met Trixie. I helped her on her path to darkness, and I assisted in the killing of her parents. However, I will explain this in another tale.

(A/N: Coming soon! Of Great and Powerful Things!)

I had no chance of reaching the heavens in that lifetime. I had a slim chance of redemption, so I took it. And here I was, in the OC.

*15 seconds ‘til spawn*

*14, 13, 12, 11, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, spawning*

As I left my ethereal form, I noticed something odd. The room where I had appeared last time was gone. It had changed into a palace that appeared to be made of a silvery white liquid. It appeared to be deserted, so I walked forward and entered the main hall. That was the last I saw of the OC. I fell and could do nothing to save myself. All around me was darkness. There was nothing I could do to save myself. Then, like a light at the end of a tunnel, a light appeared at the end of a tunnel. I was floating towards it when the voice spoke. It whispered things in my ears, things that no mortal should ever hear. It was demonic, cruel, heartless and most of all; chaotic. It spoke of a time long ago when chaos ruled the universe. It was making me go insane, it seemed unending. Then, as I drew close to the light, it stopped and seemed to flee my mind. I am unsure of why, but I presume it was the light that drove it off. I hovered near the light for a time, unsure of what to do. I came close to it and it brushed against me. I had never felt such joy, such happiness in all my years. It was made of pure bliss. This lasted for a moment and then the space around me began to tear apart. Flashes of light, of all the spectrums, enough to blind anypony. I was spared blindness by what happened next. I began to fade, becoming ethereal once more, and then I disappeared entirely. I must have fallen unconscious or something, for I awoke outside the library in Ponyville.

60 years ago, this had become my home with Twilight. I looked around and saw a group of ponies walking towards the crater that was caused by the explosion in which I appeared.

“D-d-dad?” gasped Star in amazement. “But, you died years ago! How is it that you are here? And you look like you are 20 something years old!”

“Do I? Meh, okay. Anyway, what’s been going on since I died?”

“You died, dad! How the buck are you here, in the prime of your life?! This doesn’t make any sense!”

“Make sense? What fun is there in making sense? I am here because I was given a choice. I could spend eternity in eternal damnation. That’s right; I was in Celestia-damn Hell! However, I am a being of the OC with remembrance. I was given a choice. Save the world from myself, or try to earn redemption. I chose the latter. That is why I am here.”

“But how the buck are you here now? I saw you when you were buried! You DIED, dad! DIED!”

“Magic. *snort snort*”

“Bah, you’re hopeless. This doesn’t make any sense! Whatever…”

“Oh good, now down to business. What has happened since I, as you put it, died?”

“Well… Celestia help me, I need to sit down. This is all too much…”

“Well, come inside. We can talk there.”

“*sniff* Okay…”

“You okay, dear? Seriously, I died and now I’m back. Doesn’t that make you happy? I thought it would make you happy. I know how torn up you were in my last hour.”

“It does make me happy, dad. But you died. Ponies don’t simply get up again when they die. It’s a lot to take in.”

“I understand completely, Star. I think this calls for a strong drink or two. Is Confetti still alive and kicking?”

“No, I’m sorry.  I know you were good friends. He died about 3 months ago.”

“Damn. Rest in peace, buddy. Any of the others still going strong?”

“Nope. Rainbow was the last. She died last week. I’m sorry you missed her.”

“Oh well. Life goes on. I guess I did die before them, so it’s not such a big deal. I’ll miss them a whole fucking lot though… Now then, Star, a little tale about the twenty so years since I died, please.”

***

(A/N: Go read Pinkie Has Officially Jacked This Story, by datdamnface for more of a backstory. I’m going camping for the next two weeks, so au revoir, you lovable asshats.)

Perk Added: Power Armour Training

Ah, my beloved home. It has been 22 years since I have lived here. Or been physically alive. Now it is the home of my daughter, Star. She appeared to be about 10 years older than me, in her early thirties in earthly years. In true years, I was over 400. I had lived for about 80 earthly years. I should think about retiring soon… Nah, not until I’m older than Celestia. Anyway, we come now to the part where Star and I sit down for a chat, over a nice bottle of Chablis:

“So, dad… You said you were in Hell. Why?” questioned Star.

“Well, that’s easy. I’m a Celestia-damn murderer. About 8 years before I met your mother, I joined a group known as the Lunesian Order. They are now a core part of the New Lunar Republic, but when I was with them, they were a much smaller sect. I was an assassin. I killed many and innocent pony under their orders. I helped the one known as Trixie on her path to darkness. I helped kill her parents. I… regret ever joining them. If I could go back and change things, so I never joined, I would. But alas, that is not possible. One should not meddle with time. After Nightmare Moon was defeated by your mother, I defected to the Solar Empire. I became one of Celestia’s advisors. I was a great help against the Republic’s rebellion, as I knew much of their death cult’s secrets. I earned forgiveness from her, but even she cannot erase the stains of blood from one’s soul. Killing is easy, redemption is not. I had very bad karma, and yes, it did come back and bite me on the flank. That’s why I ended up in Hell. I come from the OC, so I was given a choice: save the world from myself, or have a shot at redemption by living again. Oh, and Satan said to say hi.”

“If you joined the Solar Empire, you should immediately go to Canterlot. The Princesses will need all the help they can get right now. We are at war. Nightmare Moon is, once again, free. She has a powerful ally this time too. You know the tale of how mum defeated Discord, turning him into stone? He has been freed again. He tore Luna’s soul in half; the good and the evil parts, and made them into separate entities. Luna is fine, I’ve seen her, but the evil part has taken the guise of Nightmare Moon. The Elements of Harmony have no bearers and there is the threat of war drifting in from the zebra kingdom to the south.”

“Luna fuck me with the moon… I must go immediately. I will return soon.”

***

With those words, I left for Canterlot. I knew that I would be needed to help with the war effort. Civil war is never pretty, even less so when one side has two of the most powerful spirits this world has ever known. I had been so long since something this bad had happened, most ponies didn’t think it ever would or could. The worst that had happened was Discord reappearing 55 years ago and Nightmare Moon 5 years prior to that. This time, shit had gotten real.

When Canterlot appeared, I was surprised to see the changes to it. Equestria is a peaceful place, so you would never expect to see firearms lying around. But right there in front of me, was a large stockpile of guns, being dispersed to a large group of ponies in khaki uniforms. Canterlot itself was covered in what appeared to be sentry guns which, as far as I know, didn’t exist 20 years ago. They must have been a recent addition.

“War is happening alright…” I muttered. “If we need that much firepower, we are truly fucked.”

As I flew towards the main entrance to Canterlot city, I was ordered to land for a search. I didn’t really feel like going up against that kind of firepower, so I did as I was told. They could probably help me by letting the Princesses know that I was here.

“State your name and business in Canterlot” said one of the ponies, wearing a type of armour I had never seen before. It was metal plated, and had a rebreather and everything. It made her voice sound tinny and robotic.

(A/N: Guess the armour. I’ll give you a clue: Bethesda Softworks.)

“I am Dyrilby, first advisor to Princess Celestia circa 60 years ago. Have one of your men let her know I am here.”

“Wait. Sir, Dyrilby died 22 years ago.”

“Yeah, well, I’m back. Not even Death himself can stop me. Now, let the Princesses know I am here. I have urgent business to attend to.”

“Sir, I’m going to have to place you under arrest. You are clearly impersonating Dyrilby. He was in his eighties and he died twenty two years ago. I am going to have to ask you to follow me. We are going to see the Princesses, to resolve this problem.”

“That works for me. Lead on, soldier.”

As we walked through Canterlot, I noticed that many ponies now carried sidearms and I even saw one with what appeared to be a minigun.

“How goes the war? I have been dead for a while, so I know not.”

“Sir, I am not cleared to discuss this with you. Wait until we arrive at the palace.”

Bloody cretins… As I was saying, we are truly fucked if the war is as bad as it appears.

Canterlot Palace… A majestic building, but not so great if you are being escorted there by armed guards. As we walked towards the throne room, I could hear a generator, powering some large device; possibly the security system, throbbing in the background.

“Princess Celestia! This one here claims to be Dyrilby, your advisor from 60 years ago!” called out the soldier who had escorted me in.

“Very well. You may leave, sergeant.” Celestia said, “So you claim to be Dyrilby. My first advisor and the husband of my most trusted student, Twilight Sparkle, do you? We’ll see about that. Show me your cutie mark. That is one of the first tests. If it matches Dyrilby’s, then we’ll move on. If not, you go to the jail.”

I showed her my flank, which of course had my cutie mark on it: a bass clef, the opposite of Octavia’s.

(A/N: Why the fuck does Octavia have a treble clef cutie mark, when a cello is a bass instrument?! Seriously Hasbro! Get your facts right!)

“As you can see, it is my cutie mark. The bass clef.”

“Very well. We move onto the next test. What is the name of Dyrilby’s daughter?”

“My daughter’s name is Star. Named after Twilight’s mother.”

“Very good… Now, you must tell me something only Dyrilby and I know. What happened to Dyrilby the night that he murdered Trixie’s parents? Answer me this and then, if you are in fact Dyrilby, explain how you come to be here.”

“The night I killed them… I regrated it terribly. I saw things, in my mind’s eye, that nopony should ever have to witness. I was cursed, and I nearly killed myself in a fit of madness. What happened was: cupcakes. I turned them into sweet and tasty cupcakes.”

“Very good, Dyrilby. I had a feeling someone like you would show up sooner or later. We have great need of OC’s. If Nightmare Moon manages to round up enough of them, she will be unstoppable, as each OC has different powers. You are one of the 3 OC’s with remembrance, which practically makes you immortal. One of the others resides her, in this palace. The other hasn’t been seen since she left for the griffin lands. You remember Essex, don’t you? The pony who ran the bar you worked at in the OC? He is like you. He has remembrance. He lives here, in the palace. I will show you to him, but first: why didn’t you remain dead? Most ponies would rather be dead in this day and age.”

“I left, because I was in Hell. I had a chance at redemption, so I took it.”

“Very well. Come with me. Essex will wish to see you. He has taken on the role of quartermaster for the soldiers out there. You have already seen some of the new armour he invented. He calls it ‘power armour’, as it runs off of spark batteries, which he also developed. He has also designed magical energy weapons that use gems to emit a beam of energy instead of a bullet.”

“Interesting… I have to try this. It sounds fun.”

“War is not a fun endeavour. It is a harsh, cruel, honourless experience.”

“I was not saying it is. I was merely stating that using a magical energy weapon would be an interesting experience. Also, this power armour… I wish to have a set.”

“You will require special training to use either of these devices. I can arrange for it, but first; you must do something for me. I require an envoy to the OC. You are able to freely travel there, whilst others are not. Essex has already taken on an important role in this war, so he cannot perform this task. You must do this, for the good of all Equestrians. You shall have the power armour training and the energy weapons if you accept.”

“Very well. I shall do this for you. Now, about that training…”

“Go on in. He’s expecting you.”

***

Perk Added: Power Armour Training

You have received the specialised training to move in any form of Power Armour

(A/N: Forgive me for this chapter. No, I am not doing a Fallout: Equestria side story, I have been playing Fallout 3 and I just rolled with it. This is not Fallout: Equestria in any way, shape or form. Fallout: Equestria© Kkat 2011)

lolwut?

Okay, in the next bit I returned to the OC and sat through many boring meetings with random OC's trying to convince them to join the Empire. *Cue Star Wars music* I managed to convince several hundred to join us, but an envoy from the NLR was also there. You remember how I told you about that OC who left for the Griffin Kingdom? She was there. She was an initiate in the Lunesian Order about the same time as I. She, once again, tried to kill me. However, I managed to escape. Anyway, that's all the important stuff from my trip to the OC. Now, back to Equestria!

War is not pretty. The battlefield, with the Republic facing the Empire and vice versa, with crows circling above was strewn with the dead and dying. The crows know that when two armies gather, a feast will be had. I was in the command tent, serving as Celestia's Aide de Camp.

"I think we should try to scare them off, before any more lives are lost. I have an idea, but I will need help. I need a guitarist, a drummer and a singer." I said to Celestia.

"Wut. How could that possibly scare them off?" She asked skeptically.

"Wait and see. I'll also need every soldier who isn't too wounded to, to show up. This song will require every last one of them." I replied.

"We'll roll with this idea then, but I am holding you personally responsible should anything go wrong."

"Dealio."

A squadron of pegasi flew across the battlefield and placed a stage in the centre. It was equipped for a concert, with strobe lights and massive speakers. 4 stallions, myself included, were on the stage. We had our instruments, now we just needed the crowd. A few of the soldiers had wandered over, and more were coming. They had no clue what was going on, but a concert is a concert. As darkness settled around us, the stage lights turned on. It was like that concert I had played at for that dying colt all those years ago...

As the music began playing, there was a massive mos

h. So I decided to crowd

surf.

Ponies can no longer cover their eyes

If this disturbs then trot away

You will remember the night you were struck by the sight of ten thousand hooves in the air

As we played, I looked over and saw much of the Republic's army running towards the crowd and joining us. It was a good show, one that Nightmare Moon could never forget. She fled the battlefield, over half her army defecting to the Empire. It was a great victory for us. And there was much rejoicing.

After the show, I was talking with one of the generals about the new weaponry. Suddenly I though I faintly heard some music, but I dismissed it.

"Is that what I thi- OH SHIT, IT IS! RUN!" He yelled out.

NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN

Kaboom. As Nyan Cat hit the ground, there was a massive explosion that warped time itself. I was torn apart by the explosion, but I was alive for long enough to see one of my legs be blown off and fly past me. The Nyansplosion had hit right next to me.

So once again, I appear to be dead. But I had good Karma this time. I had saved thousands of lives, by playing music last night. Look out God, here comes another one. Hehehe. Time to party.

(A/N: Yes, it makes no sense. That's why the random tag is there. Have some movie/meme references too. I'm on holiday, so cut me a little slack. Enjoy.)

The end?

(A/N: Well, seeing as somepony, I'm looking at you datdamnface, deleted an awesome fic, I have to write my own goddesses damned epilogue. I am going to hunt you down and turn you into mother fucking cupcakes if you do not rewrite it!)

Heaven... It is a wondrous place. I appeared here, in what appeared to be a white room that stretched on for infinity. (It's a room even though it stretches for infinity. Deal with it.) A large, white, bearded man spoke to me, "Ah, Dyrilby. Long have we awaited your arrival here. Your friends insisted that I let you in here, instead of sending you back to Hell. You did save many lives before the Nyansplosion, so I will allow you to live here. You may leave now and enter Heaven proper."

Eeyup. Heaven is mighty fine. So as I walked through a door that magically appeared, my friends all saw me and there was a massive group hug. In which I suffocated and died again. Thankfully, this is heaven, so I just respawned.

***

"Oh, hey there Confetti!" I yelled out to a silver stallion.

"Yo! DB! Back from the OC already?" He replied.

"Hell yeah! You ready?"

"Buck yeah, let's do this!"

At this we both yelled, "1, 2, 3, 4!"

The end... OR IS IT?!