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The Alicorn Problems

by TheTimeSword

Chapter 6: Problem 6: Twilight's Twisted Treatment

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Problem 6: Twilight's Twisted Treatment

"This is so humiliating, Twily." Shining Armor still refused to come out from the bathroom, and his constant complaining grew on Twilight's nerves. "I don't even look like him. My horn is too straight, and if you suggest curving it again, I swear, I will tell everyone about the time you—"

"Shining, come on now," Cadance echoed from down the hall. They were all working in separate rooms to complete Twilight's task. Cadance worked steel for a crown and ornaments, matching it to the measurements Twilight had taken of Shining's forehead and hooves.

Twilight needed focus. She ignored both of them, especially the threats from Shining Armor, as her duty required concentration. While Cadance hadn't voiced skepticism—not that she needed to, Shining Armor did it enough for three ponies—the plan needed to be perfect. She was no Rarity. Sewing a cape together came with its own difficulties, let alone copying one from memory. After borrowing the red of the cape from some bedding, Twilight continued stitching the white gilding from pillow feathers.

The main issue was getting the little black buttons correct on the white. She couldn't remember if they'd been squares or diamonds, but nothing in the castle mimicked either of those shapes. "Don't forget the bottom of your hooves on the underside. How's the hair dye? Did you get your dock? Do you need help?" she asked him. He hadn't opened the door since he'd gone in with the bucket of paint and cups of dye.

"I'm good, thanks mom," Shining Armor yelled from behind the door. "If only Thorax had stayed another week. He could've done this instead."

"I don't think he knows what Sombra looked like," Cadance also yelled back. "We burned those paintings of him—Flurry, honey, don't put that in your mouth. That's going on daddy's hooves."

When the door finally opened, Twilight pulled her eyes away from her sewing. He caught her off guard with how well the transformation went. The white fur took on the dark grey well, but the different shades of his mane turned the blackened hair lighter in certain parts. Leaving her sewing, Twilight rose and trotted over to examine every inch of him. When she got to his eyes, she found that annoyed look in his gaze. "You could probably use magic to do the green eye thing Sombra did. Nopony will look square into your eyes if they see that. And stop pouting. Actually, no, purse your lips more. Yeah, that does look more accurate."

"This is humiliating," Shining Armor replied with a mutter. "Why do I have to be the one he took down?"

"We need some excuse for why you're not fighting him," Cadance answered. "Flurry, no, play with your toys. Shining, come here and try on this crown."

As he walked away, Twilight examined his flank. "Shining, I can vaguely make out your cutie mark. If you're flying around, it's going to show beneath your cape."

"Then I'll make sure I don't fly over anyone," he replied, raising his gums at her in a mocking gesture.

"This has to be as perfect as we can make it, Shining." Twilight followed after him into the sitting area. The guards had been sent to make sure the crowd focused on the bubble instead of each other, leaving them alone to work. Looking over Cadance's steel armor, the time to put her plan into action neared. "Where's Spike?"

As if saying his name summoned him, he appeared at the doorway to the outer hall. "Here! I found the perfect agate. Nice and white. The closest thing to silver I could find." He ran to Cadance, handing it to her.

"Then that's the last thing for the crown I needed." She levitated the steel circlet to Shining's head, placing the gemstone at the center. "Not bad if I say so, and the boots—Flurry, no!"

While Cadance gathered the metal shoes, Twilight took the time to settle the cape on Shining's back. "Alright, with that on, it's this—thing." Twilight levitated the big metal cylinder that Cadance had first worked on. Though just a big chunk of metal, they all remembered it covered Sombra's chest and neck. Whether a fashion piece or armor, Twilight didn't know, but she knew it'd be uncomfortable.

"This thing is uncomfortable," Shining complained. "And it kind of cuts into my throat. Why would he wear something like this? What an unbelievable—" He seemed to search for the right word for a moment before his eyes landed down on Flurry Heart. "Meanie."

Spike stared up at him. "Really, dude?"

With Flurry contained and Shining Armor in the armored boots, the group got a good look at their false king. "Not bad, Shining," Cadance said, holding Flurry in one leg against her. The baby alicorn made a laughing, gurgling noise, her hooves outstretching to Shining Armor. "Best to not let you stand around Flurry too long in front of the crowd. I wouldn't want to think of the gossip stirred up by her giggling for Sombra."

Shining Armor rolled his eyes. "You're all hilarious in your own ways." With a sigh, he added, "The things I do for duty."

"Let's get this show rolling." Twilight took charge. "Now, remember the way this is going to go. The shields come down, Sombra bursts out as the group charges, scares the crowd, and then I come out with Flurry Heart. I'll announce Sombra's return and how he's already defeated Shining Armor. You have to then terrorize the crowd as best you can. After it goes on for a few minutes and everypony is good and scared, Cadance and Spike will run out and take Sombra down. Then I'll take it from there."

They all nodded in agreement, but Shining Armor offered one oversight. "And what do we do if somepony decides not to cower? Maybe if they think they are all-powerful alicorns, they might band together."

"Do your best to scare them so hard they won't have the nerve," Twilight replied. "And if that doesn't work, lead them back to the castle and I'll make sure to keep them locked up and out of sight."

Spike tugged on her mane. "You've got your speech ready to go, right? We won't get a do-over."

"Well, it's kind of a rehash of what I had planned to say to them when we first arrived. You know, before they all tried to pull me out of the sky." Twilight knew she blushed with embarrassment. "We'll get through to them." Raising her hoof, Twilight put it out for them. "We've got this."

Flurry Heart put her hoof on top of Twilight's, giggling and suckling on her other one. Cadance and Spike followed after, and with some reluctance, Shining Armor's black hoof rose at last. He gritted his teeth in what could have been construed as a smile. "Let's get this over with," he said, deepening his voice.

They made their way to the bottom floor, where the entrance of the castle sat. Twilight peered outside, eyeing the Crystal Heart, the three guards, and the angry mob. "Alright. As soon as they're nearest the heart, make your grand entrance," she told him as Cadance handed her Flurry Heart. "I'll send Cadance and Spike after you once I'm certain the crowd is in complete fear." They just had to hope no one dared to be a hero. It was a possibility. The crowd had been brazen enough to go after a princess—but princesses were good ponies. An alicorn Sombra would be problematic.

Shining Armor stepped toward the door, and the shield went down. Twilight could hear the screams echo in now that the bubble disappeared, and the stomping of their hooves sounded like a thousand angry buzzing bees. She watched as Shining Armor peered through the gap, a face full of concentration and patience. In a moment his expression changed, replaced by a grin that she thought too cheesy to be a face of evil. She couldn't stop him though, he burst out the door into the crowd. He hovered over them, blowing them back with his mighty wings. A roar of laughter erupted from him, deep and powerful, and much more convincing than that grin.

"The wicked king has returned!" Twilight heard someone yell. Followed by, "Run! Flee! The king is now a princess!"

When Twilight walked out, she got a shock from the new crystal trail that led from the castle. She hadn't known Shining Armor could create pillars of crystal. He did so to block those who forgot they could escape by flying. For a long moment, she watched, half in surprise, half in awe.

He grew too into the power, too into the demonstration. She could hear it in his voice when he howled the word 'crystals' at one group who had thought to fly. They fell out of the sky as though the word had been a magical blow. "He needs an outlet," she murmured, before glancing down at Flurry Heart. "Is it bad to hope you turn out more like Cadance?" Twilight then remembered she needed to be the one to send out the heroes. She hadn't even gotten the chance to yell to the crowd that Shining Armor had been defeated. He'd done so well in portraying the evil stallion that it didn't seem necessary. "Heroes! Aid the empire!" she hollered back at the entrance.

In the entryway, Cadance jumped and landed with Spike on her back, though only Twilight remained to see her grand entrance. "Hark! My beloved has fallen to such an evil monster! I will not let this crime go unpunished!" Cadance said loudly. Twilight felt certain she could've hear it a few blocks away.

Without hesitation, Cadance flew into the air, catching Shining Armor's eye. Twilight trotted out from beneath the castle to watch the two battle. Shining Armor would throw a crystal block at them, and Cadance would smash through it with her magic. Spike caught some of the shards, throwing them back at Shining Armor if they were close, while Cadance attempted to tackle the fleeing stallion. "I will break you over my knee!" Cadance yelled as Shining Armor bellowed in laughter.

Twilight grimaced at the spectacle. "They're enjoying this way too much." She looked back down at Flurry Heart who was sucking in all the bad influence. "Maybe—maybe be more like your Aunt Twilight, okay? Calm, reserved, patient." She looked up and saw Spike saddling Shining Armor's head, pulling on his horn as Cadance yanked on Shining Armor's tail with her teeth. "For the love of Equestria, what are you three doing!?" Twilight screamed. This wan't going how she imagined it.

Even with improvisation and exaggerated acting, the show did its job. No surprise performers from the fearful crowd, no spectators helped Cadance and Spike. They cowered and cried, begging real princesses to come help.

And then the ending came. The three disappeared in a mass together behind a house, and things settled for a moment before a blinding light exploded. A moment later, Spike came forward with Cadance at his heels. "Fear not citizens! The wicked king has been vanquished once again by your hero Spike the Dragon and your Princess of Love, Cadance!"

The crowd that had all but fainted, ran, or hid fell on them at once with cheers and applause, raising the two up in their glory. Twilight didn't hesitate—now it was her turn. "Heroes? You hail them as heroes, yet only moments ago you banged on their door, anger in your hearts and eyes!" The crowd fell silent, mortified looks and ponies glanced at each other disapprovingly. "You all claim you want to be a prince or princess, yet when the time came to it, you cowered like lambs in a timberwolf's den! A real princess came to your rescue! A dragon too! You all should be ashamed of yourselves!"

"She's right," Cadance agreed. "Being a princess is not about titles or rights. It's about leadership, knowing when to face problems and deal with consequences. My failure today would've brought about the end of happiness in the Crystal Empire. I'd sacrifice myself to make sure that doesn't happen—yet you all did nothing to help. That's the difference, that's what it means to be a princess. Spike is a true princess, a dragon is more of a princess than any of you."

As Cadance spoke, Spike beamed with pride, and Twilight could see Shining Armor sneaking off back to the castle. He would need a nice cleaning before any more appearances to the public. "So, to be a princess, all we have to do is fight some big bad evil?" a voice in the crowd said, snapping Twilight's attention back. She was ready for this kind of response.

"Being a princess takes a toll. Defeating villains isn't our only task, it's not even a tenth, though it may be the only thing you see. There's more to it than that, it's why Celestia saw it in her eyes to turn Cadance and me into princesses. We had what it takes," Twilight stated, and prepared to go on before being interrupted.

"But Flurry Heart was born a princess!" a mare cried.

That was true, and an oversight for Twilight's argument. She had concentrated on how she had become an alicorn, and how the Society of Secret Sorcery had brought everypony to her level. All Twilight wanted was for them to stop their foolish notions of being above one another, not argue philosophy. "Well, you see," she stumbled over her words.

Cadance came near, taking Flurry Heart away from Twilight. "Flurry Heart, the first alicorn in recorded history to be born an alicorn, and as such, she would grow with the power she held. Life would've been harder on her, not knowing the struggles or differences that becoming one gave Twilight and myself. Now, she's like any other child, and perhaps she'll be better for it. This will leave her to focus on becoming a true leader." Cadance stared up, over the crowd. "If you want to be a princess, to claim that title for yourself, then prove to the world you have what it takes. Step up when it matters, like I did, like I know Flurry will one day. You all could've overrun Sombra, but fear overtook you. That's not what a leader does. Only you can earn that title, you cannot say you are and expect it to be so just because you have wings and a horn. I am Princess Cadance, ruler of the Crystal Empire because I chose to fight for the freedom of the crystal ponies. Who are any of you?"

Twilight had wanted to get a different meaning across. She thought to reinforce the idea that nopony could ever be a princess except those chosen by Celestia. Yet Cadance suggested the possibility if they simply fought to safeguard Equestria. But the crowd looked abashed, embarrassed in their pink cheeks and worried brows. They believed her, and their foolishness subsided. Was that enough? "Three cheers for Princess Cadance!" someone yelled, and Twilight realized it was Spike. The whole crowd cheered at once, throwing into the air whatever they had available.

"Princess Cadance!" they hollered in unison. Some followed it up with, "The true ruler of the empire!" Others found that simply shouting, "A true princess," was enough. Twilight swiftly backed away from the crowd.


The sleepy city had been quiet for a while now, though it was no wonder at such a late hour. Twilight stood on a castle balcony, overlooking the crystal buildings. Her chin rested atop her forelegs which were folded on the railing. She had no reason to pout like she did, and she felt silly for doing so. But for a second time she had come to the Crystal Empire to save it. Once again, however, Spike and Cadance were the heroes. She should be happy that everything resolved well—but she still felt the wrong lesson had been taught. To become a princess, one had to work hard for it. Right?

It wasn't just that. Cadance had been a princess longer, and perhaps she knew more than Twilight did on the matter. Maybe it wasn't Twilight's call to claim others weren't princesses now. By what right did she have to say who was and wasn't one? Of course, Celestia would have that right, there was no doubt Celestia did not. But Twilight had become a princess too. Did she have the authority to make her own princesses? The whole idea left her conflicted. "Maybe I should get Spike to send a letter..."

At the end of the day, she knew one thing rang true. She had been there when the change occurred, and Equestria swept into a new age of wonder. It had been laid on her shoulders for her to bear, and these things would need solutions. She would step up in her role as princess, just as Cadance had done today. Even if it meant she'd bear all the weight for the problems caused by the society, Twilight wouldn't stop until all debts were settled. "I hope the others are doing all right with their families," she suddenly muttered, followed by a wish that they had been here.

"If they're all with their families, I'm glad you're here with yours."

Twilight shot a look behind her, only to spot the stallion covered in towels. "You missed some black under your chin."

Shining Armor glowered, pulling off the towel that wrapped around his mane. With a scrub, he came and stood next to her. "Did I get it?" he asked, and she nodded. "I know I doubted you today, but if it had been anyone else's suggestion, I wouldn't have gone through with it at all."

"I know. You were never stubborn enough to refuse good ideas." She smiled up at him. "Maybe that's what Cadance sees in you too. For a moment there, though, I thought she was going to rip your tail off. Or Sombra's tail, at least."

"Not the first time she's tried," he replied. When she shot him a questioning look, she saw his cheeks turn a glowing red. "But I really must thank you," he hurried in saying, changing the subject.

"You don't need to thank me. You three did just as much work as I did. We should be proud of each other."

"Not that," he said as he set the towel on the balcony next to her. Crossing his forelegs atop the towel, he then set his head atop them similar to her. "I'm not sure if this is overstepping my bounds, but I am your brother. I can sense that you feel this is all your fault—the alicorns, the change of the world. But if you feel you've messed up, I want you to know you've made one stallion the happiest in the world."

Twilight blinked in surprise. "What do you mean?"

"I used to get worried. Cadance and Flurry Heart, they're both alicorns. For a long time, I would stay awake at night wondering how they'd manage once I'm gone. Now I don't even have to think those thoughts."

"What are you talking about? Gone?"

Shining Armor looked almost sullen. "Come on, Twilight. Celestia and Luna have been alicorns for over a thousand years—only they know how long. It's not without logic to think that all alicorns are going to last that long. Which means I would be old and grey while Cadance remained in the prime of her youth."

"I never thought of that!" Twilight shouted, shooting straight up from the railing. "And you—you married an alicorn! You went into that relationship knowing time wasn't on your side!? That's insane, Shining Armor!"

"Really? You never once questioned this?" He stared up at her with disbelief. "Just like when we were younger, you always knew the solutions to puzzles but missed the obvious things." He chuckled and threw the towel up at her.

She caught it and landed back on the balcony next to him. "I guess you're right. I never even considered I'd be living that long. Now we'll have the whole of Equestria to deal with living that long. Maybe you're right—this alicorn problem isn't that: a problem." Now she felt a little guilty for being jealous.

"I get to see my little girl grow and share her growth with my beautiful wife until we're both old and grey," Shining Armor replied. "I'm the happiest stallion in the world, Twily. Thank you." He put a hoof around her and squeezed her tight. "Thank you."

The remorse she had been feeling all swept away. She had made her brother happy, and it was worth all the trouble, all the burden she would face. Nothing could take her from these feelings. Nothing—until Cadance appeared at the doorway.

"Am I interrupting?" Cadance asked, a small smile on her lips. "It's not often you two get to hang out anymore. I wouldn't want to intrude."

"We have all the time in the world," Twilight replied, brushing away a few tears.

"Well, that's the thing—I don't want to intrude." Cadance came forward. She levitated a scroll in front of her, the seal already broken. "But I have to. It seems a princess's duty is never finished."

Twilight took the scroll with her magic, unraveled it, then read the contents. She couldn't believe it. "Now? In Canterlot?" she groaned.

Next Chapter: Problem 7: Rainbow's Rapid Ruin Estimated time remaining: 1 Hour, 41 Minutes
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