Pinkie Pie was hopping... You know what? No. She just screwed physics and rewound the story, much to the author's displeasure.

Pinkie Pie was standing outside of Ponyville's Public Library. She was currently daring the author to put anything else in her way.

A/N: I am scared of Pinkie and her crazy ways, so I'm just gonna put in this little plot-advancement thing.

A voice, definitely male, emanated from the other side of the library's door. "Alright, alright! I said I was sorry, Twilight! I was just trying to check on you... Oh, hi Pinkie Pie."

Pinkie looked at Spike. He was dressed in the fanciest suit she'd ever seen him in, and it took her a second to regain her bearings. "Hi, Spike! Is Twilight okay?"

Spike shrugged. "Yeah, I guess. I went to open her bedroom door so I could check on her, and a book flew at me. Afterwards, she yelled at me to just leave her alone, 'cause she was busy. She teleported this awesome suit to me, and told me to go bother somepony else. Like... Rarity..."

His eyes became hearts as he thought about the perfection that was Rarity. He rode to the boutique on a magnificent beast, the Lady Rarity swooning at the sight of him. They leaned in close to each other, her eyes glistening in the sun's gentle light. 'Mi'lady, would you marry me?"

The lovely unicorn with the purple mane put her forehoof over her eyes as she leaned back in his manly embrace. 'Oh, if only it were so simple! You are an amazing dragon, while I am a lowly unicorn, trapped forever by society!' Rarity bemoaned their misfortune, and The noble Spike came to her rescue with his words as well as his visage.

'Milady, you need not cry! Ride off into the sunset with me! We will escape the trappings of society together, and I shall build a castle befitting such a lovely mare as yourself!' The mare swooned again, then leaned in for a kiss...

Rarity sneezed three times, consecutively. "Sis! didja just sneeze three times? That means that somepony's thinkin' about ya, an' that they love ya!"

"Sweetie Belle, I don't see what tha- Oh, my Goddesses! What did you do to my dress?! If I don't fix this by tomorrow, I'll be ruined! Ruined, you hear me?! RUINED!!! Oh, Celestia! What will the noble ponies of Canterlot's Elite Society think if they see sub-par clothing such as this! We might as well live as savages!"

Pinkie Pie pushed the dream-cloud away, disrupting the dragon's romantic daydream. "So... Twilight's sick? Maybe I should check on her. You go try ta make that dream a reality, okie dokie, lover boy?" Pinkie Pie gave Spike a playful wink and he skipped down the street, chuckling to himself.

Pinkie opened the door and could hear the muffled sound of Twilight... well, 'hoofing it'. Or, that's what Pinkie assumed it was, she couldn't really hear that well. 'Time for a closer inspection', she thought to herself.

She tiphoofed up the stairs, passing the creaky one with an exaggeratedly slow step, reaching one leg up after the next ever so slowly, so that they barely made the teeniest, tiniest sounds possible, and- "Get on with it," Pinkie hissed through clenched teeth.

Well, fine then. Be that way.

Pinkie reached the door to Twilight's room. With no other interruptions of course. Then, using a stethoscope - wait, when did she get a- "shhh!" ... sorry. Anyways...

She pulled out a stethoscope, placed it against the door, and listened intently.

"Oooh... yeah! Mmmhmm! Fluttershy, y-you're amazing!" The party pony almost gasped aloud when she heard that. Twilight's in there... with Fluttershy?!? ... Huh. Not even I saw THAT one coming.'

Glad I can still surprise you, P- "shut up," Pinkie whispered. Fine, I will.

Pinkie continued to listen in, using her hoof to get off as well. Twilight and Fluttershy both yelled in unintelligible languages as they came together, and then Pinkie could her Fluttershy say "I love you, Twilight. I'm happy like this. You're the only pony to ever truly try to get me to be braver." Pinkie thought back to the time with the dragon. Fluttershy had only found encouragement from Twilight. Then, she looked through the episodes on my hard drive, and- HEY!

"Eh heh, sorry?" Pinkie shrugged, unabashed. I almost felt like bashing her, but... no. This is her chance.

"Really? That's what I taste like?" 'Dammit! I missed it!' "Well, I couldn't think of what you tasted like, so I'm going to say ambrosia."

Pinkie's face screwed into a confused frown. '...huh?' Fluttershy, sounding spaced, said "... huh?"

Twilight laughed. "Ambrosia! It's a name for food that simply tastes so amazing, that everypony loves it, but nopony can describe it! There are actually a few restaurants the Princess treated my family to dinner to that sold food that was indescribably good!"

There was a pause. Then, something was said that Pinkie wasn't able to pick up.

Pinkie stared daggers right at me, and I'm sorry, I'll get right back to it! Nothing more from me, I Pinkie Pie Promise!

"Oh, you gotta go already? I... I understand, I know how Spike got when I didn't feed him on time... Want me to spend the night tomorrow night? .... I'm sorry, I can't come over tonight, I do gotta do some studying, and a note to Celestia might be in order." Twilight giggled. "I definitely need to update my status on ManeScroll, and discontinue my U-Harmony account." After that, silence. A minute later, Pinkie cracked the door open the tiniest bit.

Fluttershy's wings were out at full mast, every feather in immaculate detail, her lips locked with Twilight's, both of their faces flushed with red.

Fluttershy broke the kiss and nuzzled Twilight, before she got up and flexed her wings. She got onto the balcony, blowing one last kiss goodbye before spreading her wings and leaping from sight.

Twilight laid back in bed and sighed. "Mmm~ Tomorrow night will be amazing... I could get used to love like that." She giggled as she played with herself with her hoof, her magic waylaid from overuse the night before. She closed her eyes, and began to hum tunelessly to herself.

Pinkie Pie slowly crept up to the bed. She then, ever so carefully, got onto the bed. Twilight was too blissed out to notice. She then put her head right next to Twilight's and whispered, "so? What do you taste like?"

Twilight didn't jump into the air, scream, or fall off the bed. She did nothing comical. She just stopped masturbating, opened her eyes to see Pinkie's right above her, and then closed them again.

Now is when she screamed. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHhh-mrph!" Twilight opened her eyes again to see the pink pony's snout pressed against hers, the light blue eyes staring intently at her own.

Pinkie watched as Twilight's eyes rolled into the back of her skull. Twilight started squirming. "Mmmh, Mrph, Mmph!" Pinkie finally broke the kiss. "Well, there's the grapes!" Pinkie said to herself aloud, letting out a little giggle.

"P-Pinkie! Wha- what the hay was that?!" Pinkie Pie regarded her wild-eyed, bewildered looking friend as if she'd grown an extra eye on her brow.

"Uhh, a kiss? Duh?" Pinkie cocked her head to the side, licking her lips. 'Rarity said the horn was sensitive to a unicorn, but wouldn't let me play with hers. I wonder...'

"Pinkie! Were you spying on me and Fluttershy?!" Twilight was looking slightly beyond peeved.

Pinkie sighed. "If I say 'yes', would you stop with the shouting and head bobbing?"

Twilight was completely unprepared for her pink friend's sudden deadpan, so she left herself completely open for what happened next.

Pinkie placed herself above Twilight and used the headboard of the bed to keep herself from falling forward. Then, she used her free foreleg to pull Twilight's head closer. Written while listening to 'Pour your sugar on me'.

Twilight gasped as Pinkie started licking her horn, the feeling rippling down her spine. I'd totally copy pasta this scene from the one with Lyra and Bon-bon, where Bon-bon does the same thing, but I can't find it and I'm too lazy to look through all the chapters of 'The Back Room'. You should read that fic. Best Pony Porn with a plot (heh heh) ever.

"Pinkie... Ohhhh, Celestia! P-Pinkie, what's gotten into you?!" Twilight reached her climax.

Pinkie pulled her head back from Twilight's horn, literally shocked. "Wooo! That was awesome! Your horn tastes like Blueberry Pop-Rocks! Sooooo fizzy!" Pinkie Pie giggled madly as she settled down on top of the unicorn.

She locked lips with Twilight once again, her hips shaking as she tried to grind the unicorn mare. Y'know, this is suspiciously like a rape scene... I'mma stop that nao.

Twilight gave in, accepting Pinkie's touch and affections. She could feel her orgasm building, and that only added to her want- no, her need- for more pleasure. "Haaahhh, Pinkie~~<3!!!"

Next time, on Pinkie-D'aawww Squee!

obvious parody of DBZ

Twilight felt great. Again. Pinkie had caressed and eaten her in ways that surpassed Fluttershy's amazing prowess. She wondered for a second if Pinkie had taught Fluttershy.... Nah, not likely.

The pink party mare put her snout back into Twilight's pussy lips, her tongue sending shivers and tingles all along the unicorn's body. 'Twelve times,' the purple unicorn thought to herself. Twelve times, and she's still got you going. Sweet Celestia, could I die from an overdose of orgasms?' Hmm... Tempting, but I think I'll keep Pinkie alive this time around. And I couldn't kill you, that'd break 'Shy's widdle heart!

"AAah!" Twilight moaned.

"Arrgh!" Pinkie groaned.

"What's wrong? You're doing great, Pinkie. Any more, and processes thought my would hard straight be to keep!

"I can't figure you out, Twilight. You taste like coffee, and... and cheesecake, and... and grapes, and chocolate, and I can't think of it! It's a flipping dessert! I should know this! Arrgh!" Twilight giggled.

"Well, actually... Fluttershy said I reminded her of that dessert I bought her at the Italian restaurant to congratulate her after facing the dragon." No, Pinkie. You won't find it in my video archives!

"The dessert is called 'Tiramisu'. It means 'pick me up'. She'd actually thought it was a bit of a pick-up line on my part, and... well, I do like, totally get her shyness." Twilight blushes. "I was the same before becoming enthralled with getting into the Princess' school. After that, life was too blurred to be shy." Twilight gets a warm smile, her eyes looking off into the distance. "That's why I feel like I can love her for who she is... and who she could become."

"Yeah, you could even become great STUDY BUDDIES! OR, MAYBE A NEW COLT COMES TO TOWN AND UR LIEK 'O EM JAY! iT'S TREY!' AN HE'Z AUL, 'NO! I LURV FLUDDERSHAI EVEN THO HER PAST HAUNTS HER. MINE DOZ TWO!'

Pinkie trotted away from the tree that housed the library, much cleaner and fresher than she had been that morning. It was now dusk, and Spike was just returning. "Oh! Hi, Spike! How'd it go?"

Spike looked up at the frazzle-maned pink pony. "... Huh?"

Pinkie giggled. "Oh, silly! Details, details! How'd it go? Should I throw a party for you and Rarity?"

Spike snorted. "Nah." A smile crept onto his face. "But, if you could throw a party for me and Applebloom, I'd sure be grateful."

Pinkie giggled at this news, Aloe was gonna give her a big discount for this development in the Great Sparity Spectacle. It seemed a new challenger had appeared. Ohh, these were the parts Lotus just loved to hear about!

"Okie Dokie Lokie! I'll get Gummy and my trusty-dusty cannon, and we'll be ready to let it rip!

And thus ended Pinkie's search for new flavors. Okay, okay, not really. After this, she did get that threesome with Lyra and Bonnie. Turns out, Lyra tastes like Saltwater Taffy. Bon-bon tastes exactly like what Pinkie thought.

Twilight impregnated Fluttershy while using her magic as a 'horn', so they began wedding preparations. They had help from Pinkie of course, not to mention Pinkie's sister and her four-pony ensemble.

The DJ, as Pinkie told Twilight later on, tasted like cherry pudding. She'd gotten that from her sister after many, many drinks. And the two ponies in the corner of the bar continued scribbling, their ice cream cutiemarks looking extremely delicious to Pinkie Pie.

Spike and Applebloom were happily dating. She'd gotten her cutiemark. a purple and green paint bucket. The paint was swirled into a heart. She definitely loved Spike, and he loved her. Her painting ability was amazing.

Scoots and Sweetie Belle, as everypony knew was gonna happen, were torn from each other as Scoots went to flight school, and Sweetie went to Magic Kindergarten. It sucked for both of them, but at least they weren't stuck with Snips and Snails anymore.

Trixie was still off on Gallophay 6, fighting robot space zombie pirates with a dapper brown earth pony whose cutiemark was an hourglass. They've had four kids. Or, so Trixie says.

Lyra and Bon-bon have been friends with Ditzelda for so many years, that it came almost as a surprise when she showed up not to deliver the mail, but to take a break from work.

They hadn't been told of her promotion, but she was now even higher than Boxy Brown himself. She was working as the head of the entire Equestrian Packaging Services.

She'd adopted another filly and remarried. Her and Colgate were happy together. Her brother Soarin still couldn't figure out how he'd lost his girl to his sister. Oh, well. He still had a life time's supply of pie to eat from Sweet Apple Acres. And speaking of sweet apples...

Rainbow Dash was still pranking, and she even started a new prank-trend. 'Splaying'. You just lie perfectly still somewhere, with your wings spread out. The earth and unicorn ponies soon turned it into 'planking'.

Dash found new things to troll about.

Let's see, um.... Mare Do Well made a brief reappearance after 3 or 4 years of not being there. The only problem was that there was no crime.

Bethoofsda made a few more games, including SyWyrm. Everypony was shouting 'FAH SOR DO!' at everything they saw. And, of course, everypony chose the unicorn so they could do magic. But really? Stop complaining. Pegasai would be too hard to program into a game.

In the season finale of 'My little Human' season three, First Sergeant Trenton was almost killed, but was saved due not to love or tolerance, but the billions of dollars put into the Army's medical funds. Lieutenant Cyn was absolutely ecstatic. The Prime Minister wished he'd had a better guard on duty.

Blueblood fell in love with Bluebelle, and Rarity and Elusive gathered enough strength to be together forever. THey were lost in a different dimension from either of their own. Thank Celestia it had running water and gems, or it would have been an absolutely savage place!

... I've rambled on long enough. Good night, everypony! The End.