Lily Glamerspear

---

Specialist Lily Glamerspear hadn’t been dressed-down that badly by anypony since… Well, not since her mom caught her out on the street stumbling home blind drunk after a party in high school.

She'd trotted Lily right up the apartment stairs to the third floor, sat her down on the sofa, woken up the whole family (maybe even the whole building), and then proceeded to give her the business. All in front of her four older brothers, who’d kept quiet, and her hungover dad, who didn't.

The bucking hypocrite.

In the end, mom had failed to scare her straight off of booze, though the experience of that night -- her shouting, plus the voluminous amounts of vomiting she’d later underwent in the washroom -- did at least lead to a change in Lily’s behaviour, and she never again left a party so completely hammered. At least, not while her mom was working day shifts at the hospital.

When she was rotated to the night shift, on the other hoof...

Well, even then.

Her brothers got the hint when she'd laid into them for failing to keep watch over her, and they stepped up their supervision, though they mostly kept it subtle and hooves-off. For a pack of dorks, they could be pretty sneaky when they needed to.

That was almost five years ago, and nopony had berated her quite so severely since, though that fight with Sparkshower over the Gala ticket came close. And, sure, the 'shoe camp drill sergeants could shout pretty loud, but that didn't count either; they were SUPPOSED to ride everypony rough in order to break in the foals and turn 'em into warriors. Even if the perfect soldier stepped in through the paddock gates, they'd still find something to complain about, and 'shoe camp drill-sergeant insults bordered on rear-up comedy.

No, Major General Hoofstrong's criticism had stung, and it was for the same reason her mother's words had stung, too. Both of those old mares were right, and Lily knew it. It wasn't proper for a teenage filly to be blundering into Manehattan trashcans, staggering around in a stupor at three in the morning. And it was a dirty deed to gloat about shredding Kilfeather's wings to a room full of noblepony officers, too.

Though it certainly had achieved Lily’s short-term objectives: access to Captain Mailedhoof's loins, and through them, his wallet as well. But it sure put her Very Important Pony, who wasn't actually a pony, in a bit of a tight spot with the major general. Hoofstrong was trying to put a horseshoe to nobleponies just like Mailedhoof, who bought their way into the fashionable palace guard and pretended to serve their country, all while slacking at their duties with the knowledge that their regiments were seldom called upon for anything beyond pomp and circumstance.

Lily had to respect a mare like that; especially one who, despite her own noble heritage, had enlisted as a common soldier first, then prestiged as a mustang into the officer corps. Much like she had to respect her own mother, who worked long, awkward hours at a tough job to put hay on the table and help four of her foals through college, and all while saddled down by a roving, alcoholic, miscreant tramp of a husband.

It was something for Lily to ponder, alright, as she telekinetically opened the Royal Engineer's chamber-doors ahead of him.

‘What’s next for today, though?’

‘More exercises, as he wanted?’

Lily was game to put some more rounds into the sky, and into Artemis' shields. Whether the pegasus would be up to receive them in her current, miserable state, however...

"I think that went rather well, don't you?" Anonymous spoke up for the first time since the meeting with Hoofstrong ended, besides the little guidance he gave Corporal Bound on maneuvering his automobile through traffic.

"Yes, sir."

Honour had been pretty quiet, too, though that was hardly out of character for her.

As Lily and the corporal took up their places astride the double doors, the Royal Engineer turned to face the unicorn, his hands on his hips. "What do you think, Specialist?"

‘What, Honour's answer wasn't good enough for him?’

She shrugged. "Yeah, it went well. You got what you wanted, didn't you, sir?"

He nodded. "I did, didn't I? More than I wanted, even."

Suddenly energetic, he smiled and loosened his tie. "I think I'm still a little shocked by how easy it was, after all the dire warnings there'd been. I was almost hoping one of you would point out that it had actually gone badly after all." He laughed, unbuttoning his collar and cuffs.

Lily chuckled along, but it was Honour who spoke up, furrowing her brow. "Actually, I was thinking about that on the way back, sir..."

Anonymous grinned. "Daydreaming while driving, Corporal? You must really be getting comfortable behind the tiller."

She swallowed. "Yes, sir. A little. But, as to Major General Hoofstrong... Divisional appointments are subject to Her Majesty's approval. In Equestria's history, plenty of aspiring field commanders have been shunted into desk jobs in the Great General Staff instead -- not that that's a bad place to be, of course, but Princess Celestia is often said to have had a hoof in it."

The Royal Engineer cocked an eyebrow as he hung up his jacket. "What are you saying, Corporal?"

Sucking on her lips, she shook her head. "I don't know exactly, sir. Maybe we should have recognized that Her Majesty wouldn't have put Hoofstrong in command of the First Air Division if she didn't think she wasn't good at handling ponies, both those under her command and those outside of it. Like the nobles of the city, or yourself, for example."

She wasn't spouting crazy talk. As much as Celestia was held up as a sort of all-loving mother-figure of Equestria, she was also often considered to be kinda... eccentric. Her obsession with cake, for one, often made the tabloids and gossip rags, though it was rarely scandalous, and the Princess always laughed off anypony who approached her about it. A couple of times a year 'Canterlot Match' would manage to snap a photo of her halfway into some unbecomingly enormous mouthful of cake, for example. 'Princess Celestia spotted gobbling down thick chocolate roll,' that sort of thing. But the interesting stuff came from ponies who regularly attended Day Court, where Celestia had a reputation of being 'playfully cryptic,' in the words of Canterlot Match's political correspondent. Exerting a little influence like selecting general staff versus field officers based on sociability would be just the kind of decision she might make.

Rolling up his sleeves, Anonymous nodded his head. "In other words, if she really was obstinate and hard to deal with, Her Majesty wouldn't have allowed the appointment. I suppose it's possible, though I certainly don't know Equestria's sun-sovereign well enough to say for sure."

That brought to mind something else Hoofstrong said during the meeting.

"Is it really true what you told the Major General, sir? About your appointment?"

The Royal Engineer looked over at Glamerspear, suddenly no longer quite so energetic, as she continued.

"... You really don't know why Princess Celestia appointed you to this post?"

It was a bit hard to believe that somepony appointed to the Blue Council wouldn't know why. Lily felt certain Hoofstrong knew why Celestia agreed to her appointment as commander of the First Air Division.

Anonymous turned his head sideways and licked his lips. "I really don't, Specialist."

She cocked an eyebrow. "And you never asked why?"

He shook his head. "No. It was so much of a shock to me at the time that I didn't think to question it. Since then, it's still been a bit of a mystery, but not enough for me to feel it was worth bringing up." Shrugging, he slipped his hands into his trousers pockets. "I suppose I could ask the next time I see Her Majesty, but it almost feels like I'd be questioning the trust she placed in me if I did."

Lily looked over at the corporal, hoping for a little backup from Ms. Understands-the-Inner-Workings-of-the-Officer-Corps, but she appeared lost in thought.

‘Guess it’s down to me and my rumors, courtesy of the Officers' Club and the 'Canterlot Match' gossip pages.’

"I mean... I doubt Her Majesty would be offended. I've never heard of her being offended about anything, actually -- and believe me, she's had to deal with some real bozos at Day Court." Lily’s eyes bulged open when she put a few numbers together. "...Probably a lotta bozos, when she's been holding Court for over a thousand years."

It was kind of a weak argument, and Anonymous' disbelieving expression told her as much, but the corporal sent some supporting fire her way. "Her Majesty also runs a private school for gifted unicorns here in Canterlot; the classes are mostly taught by other ponies, but Princess Celestia takes a personal hoof in tutoring particular students and even in teaching one or two of the courses."

With the Royal Engineer's attention, she continued. "Some of Equestria's best mages graduate from that school, and they almost universally praise Her Majesty for opening their eyes to questioning everything around them."

Anonymous nodded. "All right, I'll think about it. But the next time I see Princess Celestia, I want first and foremost to impress her with our little demonstration. It's crucial that I show her what I can do with just bronze and brass while I talk about what I could do with steel."

He looked Lily in the eye, and she beamed a smile. "I'm game for another exercise this afternoon, sir."

Honour managed a thin-lipped equivalent when he turned his attention towards her. "I'm good, sir. I'm not so sure about Specialist Sparkshower, though."

The Royal Engineer took a seat on a stool in front of his workbenches. "Yes, I'm not surprised that she needs a little more time to recover. That was quite a break-up; give her my best when you break for lunch, won't you?"

"Yes, sir."

Picking up one of the random brass gizmos from the table, he turned it over in his hands. "To be honest, I was actually thinking of working some more on the mechanicals of the car today. I've got some changes that should make you happier in the driver's seat, Corporal."

To his surprise, she interrupted him. "Like a steering wheel, or brake and accelerator pedals, sir?"

Anonymous' shock turned to delight, and he laughed. “Ha! You have been reading my book, Corporal! Yes, exactly that; the delivery yesterday was springs, pedals, and linkage for a system of inboard brakes that won't be so easily left on by accident -- or cooked off if they are. The steering wheel needs gearing, which is a bit complicated, so I'm leaving it for later. You're not having difficulty with the tiller, are you? I figured that stopping and going was the more pressing problem."

Corporal Bound's thin smile turned into something a little more legitimate. "I'm managing the tiller just fine, sir. But I would certainly appreciate more control over acceleration and deceleration."

He nodded. "You'll get it. The only other thing on my mind is, after a day spent underneath the wheels of that carriage, I'm going to want to stretch my legs and get some exercise in the evening. I was hoping we could maybe visit the Rookery again tonight, try some more moves in the Grand Hall of Stars."

‘Oh, buck.’

Lily didn't have anything against sparring with the Royal Engineer. It was tiring, sure, but he was an entertaining target. And she was looking forward to speaking with Ignacio, the 'Balladeer of Ghosts,' again. The problem was, she’d gotten a calling-card from Captain Mailedhoof that morning. He wanted to meet for dinner and cocktails, and she knew what would happen afterwards. She didn't want to disappoint her wealthy benefactor -- at least, not until she’d picked up her Gala dress from Louis Valise!

Waving a hand, Anonymous continued. "But then I realized what day it is and decided against it."

‘Oh, thank Celestia.’

"What do you mean 'what day it is,' sir?"

‘Damnit, Honour!’

‘Don't buck this up!’

Lily needed Mailedhoof's saddle-purse, and to be honest, she appreciated the flank it was attached to, as well. For a blue-blooded noblepony who'd been born to a silver trough endlessly full of hay, the Captain sure knew how to plow her fields. ‘Unf,’ she was getting a bit hot under the collar just thinking about his mighty stroke...

Anonymous put on a wry smile. "It's Saturday, Corporal. I may not have much of a social life going on right now, but I do remember what it's like. I'm not going to steal away your Saturday evening just so I can have some fun swinging wooden swords in the sand."

‘Wow.’ Lily really did luck out on the lottery with this Very Important Pony.

And he wasn't even a pony!

Corporal Bound shook her head. "Sir, you really shouldn't be-"

‘DAMNIT HONOUR!’

Anonymous just held up a hand. "I've already made my decision, Corporal. I'll work on the car today, jog around in the evening, then tomorrow we can all sleep in, conduct another exercise in the early afternoon, and visit the Rookery later at night. Makes sense?"

With a rueful look, she nodded. "Yes, sir."

Passing the gadget from one hand to the other and back again, the Royal Engineer glanced between the two of them. "Two young Royal Guardsmares in the capital city, in early spring? Don't tell me neither of you can get a date on a Saturday night."

Lily puffed out her tuft a little bit. "There's a calling-card upstairs from a gentlecolt inviting me out later, sir."

He looked over at Honour, who sheepishly fessed up as well. "I've... got a dinner date tonight, too."

‘AHA!’

Wait, was she so nervous about seeing her slow-playing coltfriend again that she wanted their VIP to override her plans? ‘This mare, I swear.’ Her view was so screwed up she needed a good, eye-crossing rutting just to straighten her out again.

"Well, I hope he's a gentlecolt, too, Corporal. Now, who's on the evening shift today?"

Honour took a deep breath, settling back down after her embarrassing revelation. "Sergeant Ebonshield, sir."

Anonymous held his hands up, palms forward. "Just an idea, Corporal, but... I wonder if it would be good for Specialist Sparkshower to instead assist me in working on the automobile tonight. Maybe it's just me, but I find that simple physical work helps me refocus when I'm stressed." He chuckled awkwardly. "You should've seen how quickly I finished changing all eight damn spark plugs in my Mustang after my break-up, when I'd been angrily sitting on fixing the thing for most of the summer after breaking two of them off in the engine."

‘A what plug?’

‘For a Mustang?!’

It sounded like some kind of bizarrely personalized pony sexual accessory...

Shrugging and waving one hand dismissively, he continued. "Anyways, she's also a good jogging partner, so that works out well, too. See if she's interested, maybe? But only if you think it's a good idea for her, Corporal. It doesn't really matter either way if it's her or Ebonshield helping me wrench in the evening; I just need somepony to pass me tools and help me check alignments. Simple work."

Honour nodded. "Yes, sir. I think it might be good for her, but I'll check first... Which reminds me, sir, I wanted to ask you something else about the meeting."

The Royal Engineer dropped his hands to his sides. "You too? Sure."

‘Now what mustard's gotten up her snout?’

"Sir, how come you took the blame for failing to look up regulations? That was my duty, and we agreed I'd admit responsibility for it."

Anonymous sighed. "I know we talked about it before leaving, Corporal, and I did remember the discussion. It was a bit of a spur-of-the-moment decision; after our talk, I decided that I ought to try to be more answerable for my actions here. I can't go on playing the 'newly-arrived-alien' card forever, and I do still feel responsible for rushing into the exercise without considering things. You certainly couldn't drive around a racetrack firing rounds up into the air in my world without jumping through some legal hoops first."

Standing up, he put the metal doohickey back down. "The way Hoofstrong seemed to be eyeing the two of you also put me on the defensive; I don't really know why. But I thought taking responsibility for ignorance of the rules would cost me nothing on top of what I'd already said, anyways."

It made sense to Lily, but she knew exactly what Corporal Bound was gonna say.

'We're your guards, sir, you're not supposed to cover for us, we're supposed to cover for you.'

"But we're your guards, sir. You're not supposed to protect us; we're supposed to protect you."

‘Damn, Glam, you should've seriously considered a career in telepathy.’

The signing bonus for enlisting as a 35PSY was huge. Lily was sure she could only do personal interrogations, though; one-on-one, up-close and personal. Maybe with a little bit of conjured physical persuasion for uncooperative subjects, heh. She’d definitely never survive sitting in one of those sensory-deprivation chambers they used for long-range empathic scanning, that's for sure.

‘Ah, who am I kidding, I could never be a 35PSY, or any other Pony Other than Grunt.’

‘14E Air Defense all the way; screw those fat-plot POG jobs.’

The Royal Engineer raised his hands. "Yes, Corporal, I know, but I'm not going to make you take a hit that wouldn't so much as scratch me. Admitting responsibility cost me nothing -- in fact, it may have even put Hoofstrong more on my side, given how pleased she was with my honest approach overall. I'm sorry I went back on our agreement, but I won't apologize for my snap decision. It was the right call in the end."

‘Jeez.’

‘He almost sounds a bit upset.’

Honour must've pressed him on this kind of stuff before, and he seemed tired of hearing it.

‘Well, he's the boss.’

Corporal Bound was appropriately contrite. "Yes, sir."

Taking a deep breath, Anonymous looked around his room. "Okay, then. Let's break for lunch; I'm going to change into my coveralls, gather up my tools and parts, and call for a porter to haul everything to the carriage-house. See you after lunch, Corporal. And have a good afternoon, Specialist."

Following Honour’s example, Lily spoke in turn. "Yes, sir."

She pulled open the door and saluted as Corporal Bound left the room. Still saluting towards the Royal Engineer, she backed out and shut the door behind her. Honour had already started walking down the hall, and Lily scurried up after her.

"Hey, Corporal?"

Appearing frustrated, she didn’t even look in her direction. "Yes, Specialist?"

"How many times have you given him that whole the-guard-dies-and-does-not-surrender spiel?"

That got her a sharp glare. Then the corporal inhaled sharply and looked forward again.

"A few."

Lily trotted up so she could look back at her. "Yeah? And how many more times you gonna give it before he finally tells you to shove it up your plot?"

‘Ooh, foal, the look she's giving me right now -- smoldering!’

"Until he understands that we're supposed to be disposable, and he isn't, Glamerspear."

Lily laughed.

‘This mare is crazy, all right.’

"Come the buck on, Corporal! You want to fall on your spear so badly -- why? Just to prove that you can?"

Honour just stared silently at Glamerspear, so she continued. "Look, I know you've been a VIP bodyguard for a while, now-"

"Yes, I have, Glamerspear."

‘Yeah, okay, sure, mare, just buckin'... listen for once.’

"Yeah, but I don't get how you don't see that we're just supposed to be window dressing for VIPs like the Royal Engineer. And if he wants to hang us up one way, then who are we to say no?"

This time, she stopped. "We are not window dressing, Glamerspear. Disposable, yes, but window dressing, no." Before Lily could fully screw up her eyebrows, Honour prodded a hoof into the specialist’s chest armor. "While you were outside gunning down Changelings, I spent the invasion piling furniture in front of windows and doors and fending off bug scouts while my terrified VIP cowered in their palace chamber's washroom." She stamped that same hoof down on the carpeted floor. "And the Royal Engineer is doing good work for Equestria. Important work. If you'd read that book of his or listened to him talk about his inventions, you'd know that he deserves every bit of protection we can give him, even if he doesn't want it."

Sitting down on her haunches, Lily pleaded with her stubborn Corporal -- was there any other kind? "Okay, sure, yes, I like him and his automobile is pretty cool and if he needs somepony's muzzle caved in with a conjured spear or two all he's gotta do is point and tell me 'go;' I get it. But when it's a minor detail like this business of apologizing to Hoofstrong, why are you going after him like this? It's as if you're trying to pick a fight! Is this what happened when you told him off for having his furniture moved around without a bodyguard escort, too?"

She didn’t answer, so Lily chuckled. "I mean, what, are you one of those mares who starts an argument just for the make-up bouquet of flowers afterwards?"

"Buck off, Glamerspear."

‘Ha!’

‘Touched a nerve, there!’

"Well, what is it, then?"

Honour just shook her head. "I don't owe you an explanation for my actions any more than I've already given you, Glamerspear. If you don't like it, you just sit there with your mouth closed the next time it happens. But I'm sure as buck not trying to start an argument for argument's sake."

Resuming her walk toward the stairs, she grumbled. "Now, drop it and let's go grab Sparkshower for lunch, see how she's doing."

Sighing, she turned the corner with Lily at her side. "You want to talk about a personal problem, forget the one you're imagining I have, and instead focus on the quaternion member who's just broken up with the only coltfriend they've ever had, in just about the roughest way it's possible to have broken up."

Well, Honour was right about that. Hopefully, Sparkshower would take to light work with the Royal Engineer like... like the Royal Engineer took to spark plugs on a mustang?

That still sounded dirty to her.

Next Chapter: Chapter 99 Estimated time remaining: 16 Hours, 51 Minutes