Artemis Sparkshower

---

It had been a little over half an hour since Artemis blew out of Anonymous' chambers like a summer gale. Unfortunately, neither Specialist Glamerspear nor Corporal Honour Bound were upstairs in their quarters just then. She didn't have time to wait around, so she'd bolted for the barracks' dining hall instead. Besides, it was a fair bet that they would be there. No dice, though. And she'd even quickly flown up to the top of the hall to get a good look around! Artemis dined alone as a result, but she was so excited that she could barely taste the usually outstanding Friday evening grub. Finally, after a return trip across the castle grounds, she was back at her quarters, just above the Royal Engineer's chambers.

Time for her to get dressed up for the big show! Without coming to a stop, and certainly without touching her hooves down on the ground, she reached out and swiftly jerked the door handle even as she flew forward, bowling her way into the room and careening off the hallway wall (And probably leaving a nice set of hoof-prints on the wallpaper).

"WHOA!! Easy there, jeez!"

Looked like she'd found one of her compatriots! Glamerspear was so shocked by Artemis' dynamic entrance that she'd practically jumped off the sofa. With a huge grin on her face, Artemis came skidding to a touchdown in front of her.

"Oh, hey Glamerspear! Guess what just happened!"

"Somepony dared you to drink a whole tray full of shots in the canteen?" she quipped, slightly fuddled after Artemis' energetic arrival. "I don't know, why else are you bouncing off the walls like that?"

She shook her head vigorously. "Nope! Royal Engineer Anonymous is taking me out to see a musical at the Sardinia Theatre, and he's buying me a ticket to sit next to him!"

Glamerspear's eyes went wide. "Whaaaaat! Seriously?!"

Artemis nodded her head, also vigorously.

Lily smiled and cocked a hoof at her. "Oh my gosh, jea-lous!"

"Yeah, I'm going to wear a dress and everything!" Artemis immediately started for her room. "...We're leaving in less than an hour, so I've got to get ready!"

Glamerspear looked after her with a grin on her face. "Wow, filly, you sure don't waste time! Way to bag yourself a hot ticket on short notice!"

'Hot' ticket?’

‘Oh, she must mean the 'hot' show ticket.

Bounding into her room, Artemis left the door open as she rummaged through her closet. "Yeah, isn't it great?"

Glamerspear peeked in at her around the doorway. "Well, you know, you're not the only one who struck gold today. I passed by Captain Mailedhoof again-"

"I know! I heard you walk over there when I relieved you!"

Whoops, that wasn't too polite of her to interrupt Lily. All that excitement was going to her head a bit. Better cool things off. There was still plenty of time before the show, after all.

"... Right, and this time he actually came over and spoke to me! Said he'd seen me 'around' and wanted to say 'hello'. Heh, but you know what that means, don't you, filly-friend?"

As Artemis grabbed the hangar she was looking for, a question sprung to mind, and she peeked around the corner to speak with Lily, face-to-face. "Oh, right - I was going to ask. Isn't Captain Mailedhoof *married*?"

Glamerspear just laughed. "Oh, sure, he's married, but that won't stop him from 'saying hello', you know what I mean?"

She sure did know what she meant! Although she did kind of put a weird emphasis on 'saying hello' there. Still, she must have just meant that Captain Mailedhoof was one of those lucky colts whose wife wasn't so suspicious of him that he couldn't say hello to a mare in the street! Or in the palace, rather.

Aww, he must be a real swell guy.

"Yeah, I do know! That's great for you!"

Glamerspear took a step forward and leaned up back against the sidewall of Artemis' closet. "Aaaaaanyways, I'm thinking it won't be long before we can go get some drinks together in the Officers' club, and then, well, things'll proceed naturally, won't they?" As she trailed off, she raised one of her eyebrows and smirked at the pegasus.

"Sure, I get it!"

Artemis didn't really get it. So she changed the subject instead.

"I can't wait to get back after the show and write a letter to my coltfriend back in Berry about tonight!"

It looked like she'd lost Glamerspear. Her nose was all scrunched up and her eyes had gone wide again. The unicorn knew about coltfriends, right? Well, it didn't matter, because Artemis had found her dress!

"And here's what I'm going to wear tonight, check this out!"

Grabbing the hangar hook in her mouth, she swooshed it out in front of her, taking to the air and spread it out with her hooves. Glamerspear seemed to be struck speechless.

"It's my cotillion ball dress from my last year in Berry before I joined the Royal Guard! And it still fits!"

Her roommate seemed to be struggling for words. She probably just hadn't seen traditional clothing that finely-made before!

"Isn't it pretty? My grandma made it, and she's practically an alicorn with a sewing needle!"

Finally, after getting back down on all fours, Glamerspear seemed to find the words. "It's got... puffed sleeves."

'SHE NOTICED!'

"YEAH! Aren't they GORGEOUS? I was voted as Queen of the Ball! I got a tiara and everything!"

The unicorn's mouth hung open, and she had one hoof held up like she wanted to say something, but all that came out was gibberish.

"Wow, uh... Err..."

'Poor filly! She must be overwhelmed from all the excitement of a new friend in Captain Mailedhoof and my 'hot ticket' to the show tonight!'

"Anyways, even though I've got three-quarters of an hour, I want to make sure I look just right, so I'm going to jump in the shower, if you don't mind?"

She still seemed unable to put together two words. "O... kay... Su... Sure."

Artemis laid the dress down on her bed and set to work on removing her armour. Glamerspear backed slowly out of her room and closed the door.

'Oooh, this is going to be so much fun!'

Lily Glamerspear

---

It was a quarter to seven, and Specialist Glamerspear was lying on the sofa reading 'Cosmo'. Sparkshower had just gone trotting daintily out the door on her way to Anonymous' chambers.

...

Lily uttered a silent prayer to Celestia that, for her comrade's sake, nobody important spotted her and the Royal Engineer together. At least not while she was wearing that horribly unfashionable dress.

'PUFFED SLEEVES!? Are you bucking kidding me?! Those went out of fashion DECADES ago!'

And she couldn't say anything about it! Lily might have a big mouth, but she was not going to light the fuse on a grenade full of trouble and drop it at her own hooves. After all, she knew what mares were like when they realized they didn't have anything nice to wear right before a big event. But she definitely needed to take Sparkshower out dress shopping if she managed to get Anonymous into her saddlebag. After all, she didn't want word getting around that she was working for a VIP with a taste for unfashionable mares! And WHAT was that about having a coltfriend back in Berry? And she was going to TELL him about her new salt-lick on the side? Does he have some kind of cuckolding fetish?

'Geez, country ponies sure are kinky weirdos...'

She could hardly wait 'til Honour Bound got back so she could tell her about this. It would wipe that detached expression from her face for sure.

---

Interlude: Gilbert & Sullivan's "The Sorcerer"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PHAnWsylr28

Script: http://web.mit.edu/gsp/www/Archive/1995fall_sorcerer/libretto1.html

Next Chapter: Chapter 9 Estimated time remaining: 36 Hours, 32 Minutes