Lily Glamerspear

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"Specialist Glamerspear reporting for duty, sir." It was the following morning. Thank Celestia, Sparkshower had agreed to switch shifts with her. She was a real pal. Lily definitely owed her for that, and for last night. Lily decided she would probably start by getting Sparks the next issue of Canterlot Match at the commissary that afternoon.

"Oh, good morning, Specialist."

Anonymous, their Very Important Pony, who isn't actually a pony, briefly looked at her from where he was hunched over his large writing desk. As she shut the door behind her, he dipped his quill in his inkwell and resumed writing.

"...I thought Specialist Sparkshower was assigned to service me in the mornings?"

'Service him?’

‘Heh.'

Lily Glamerspear didn't know Anonymous well enough to know if he'd meant that as a double-entendre, but it didn't sound like it.

"I traded places with her, sir. The original assignments can be restored if you have any objections."

"No, no objections. I just hope I didn't wear you out last night with all that cavorting about."

OK, that must have been... But, no, he was still completely absorbed by his writing. It was just his manner of speech.

"Not at all, sir. I enjoy a good evening gallop through the garden." Damn it, now he had her making Faustian slips. Lily had to suck in the last syllable when she realized what she'd been saying.

Anonymous sat his quill to one side and looked up at her, with one eye cocked. "Your tone, Specialist, leads me to believe that you do not entirely approve of my evening exercise regimen. Is there a problem?"

'Ah, crap.'

She bit her lip. "No, sir." Lily tried her best to get composed and into her position in front of the door, but Anon just blinked his eyes, continuing to look at her.

"Please speak freely, Specialist. This isn't my native land, and I'm not familiar with your customs. I've been on my best behavior, but it would certainly be of benefit to me to hear if I have made a misstep."

That was fair, she supposed, but she did know how her big mouth could get her into trouble. Trying to hold it in was tearing her up!

She decided to take a chance. "Well, sir, if you'd like my personal opinion, I don't believe that Celestia's rose garden is an appropriate place for galloping about like that."

Anonymous sat up and put his quill to one side. "I see. And is there somewhere else you would suggest?"

Luckily, Sparkshower had given her the answer for this, too. How did she manage to get the lay of the palace grounds so quickly?

Just pegasus things, she supposed.

"Sir, Canterlot Palace's one-and-a-half-mile oval track is just behind the poplars lining the eastern boulevard."

"Really? Well, that will certainly do. Provided I'm allowed to use it, of course."

"I can certainly make inquiries regarding that on your behalf, sir."

"Please do, Specialist Glamerspear. And thank-you."

He smiled and nodded in her direction. Success! She definitely owed Sparks more than a few issues of that gossip rag. Anonymous reached for his quill, and on a mad impulse she would regret microseconds later, Lily took another leap of faith. "There is something else, I would care to suggest, sir, as a matter of decorum."

He pulled his hand back and leaned back into his chair, elbows on his armrests and fingers clasped in front of him. "If I had known that taking an evening jog could raise issues of decorum, I would have made more dedicated inquiries beforehand..." Anonymous motioned to her with an open hand. "... Pray continue, Specialist Glamerspear."

He'd asked for feedback, but speaking honestly like that... well, it was not something that typically advanced a pony in the VIP service. VIP duty was supposed to be all about looking good and keeping your mouth shut, with maybe a little extra on the side, depending. It was not supposed to be about awkwardly telling hairless monkeys that their exercise clothes were embarrassingly unfashionable - especially not if they were highly-placed members of Princess Celestia's court!

Glamerspear swallowed and stared straight ahead, avoiding his gaze. "There is the matter of your 'jogging' attire, sir."

Anonymous said nothing, leaving Lily's words to just hang in the air for a moment.

She licked her lips, and continued. "...It is undignified for a gentlecolt of your stature in the court to be seen in public in such an outfit."

She heard the creak of his chair as he stood up. "Would it interest you to know that I arrived in Equestria in those clothes? Unintentionally, of course."

'Welp, so long cushy VIP posting. Back to boring standby duty at the barracks.' She hoped she hadn't just screwed things up for Sparks & Honour; they didn't deserve any backlash for her own misstep.

"...I just happened to be out on a jog when it happened. There was a thundershower in the forecast, but I thought I could get around the neighborhood before it hit."

He was walking toward her.

Going to make her dismissal personal, she guessed.

"... I remember a bit of growling in the sky, and quickening my pace. My home was just around the corner, you see. And then... All I remember is a clap of thunder, and a bright flash, and the feeling of my head hitting the dirt."

Jeez, he was really laying it in. She wasn't just getting fired, she was getting his life story, too.

It was like she'd offended him, and his family, and his ancestors, and his gods, too.

"... So I guess you could say putting that outfit on again reminds me of home, a bit."

He started chuckling. "... Frankly, I'm more surprised that it wasn't torn to shreds by whatever ripped me out of my reality and into this one."

Anonymous, the Royal Engineer of Equestria, was standing just in front of Lily, and practically looming over her.

"... Anyways, I suppose you're perfectly correct and my cotton joggers are completely unfit now that I've taken up residence in this place's equivalent of Buckingham Palace."

'Did he just swear?’

‘What kind of palace has a curse-word name?’

‘Wait, did he just agree with you?’

"... So what do you suggest I wear, instead?"

The Royal Engineer, bipedal mostly-hairless monkey creature, was looking at Lily with an easygoing smile.

'Wow, arrow bucking dodged.'

"Uh, well... Something with a pattern, at least?" Her voice did not squeak at the end.

Anonymous' expression switched to confused amusement. Lily let out the breath she'd been holding in for about a minute now. Breathing in, Lily Glamerspear continued. "... Listen, sir, your current outfit is very fashionable. Couldn't you get whoever made you that to make you some exercise wear as well? Something that's not quite so baggy-"

He immediately objected. "It's just loose-fitting."

"It's baggy, sir. And plain white simply won't do."

Anonymous paused to get himself a glass of water from a carafe on the console table. "Anything else?"

"No, sir. And, I should say, sir, that if you exercise around the outside of the oval track, this soldier is more than capable of keeping pace with you using the inside lane."

Anon took a drink and nodded his head. "Something to keep in mind for rainy days, certainly." The Royal Engineer regarded the specialist with anticipation.

"That's all, sir."

Anonymous nodded. "Excellent. I appreciate your candor, Specialist Glamerspear. I would greatly appreciate it if you continued to be candid with me in these matters."

He was going to take your advice, and he wanted more? Sweet! Well, Princess Celestia hadn't named him Royal Engineer for nothing, had she? It made sense that he had a good head on his shoulders.

"As we're already speaking candidly, I was curious about a few elements of your training, if you would care to indulge me."

'This should be good.' "Of course, sir."

"In your capacity as an air defense soldier, I was wondering how you dealt with spotting targets that might be set against a bright sky, or far away? After all, you can only hit something you can see, correct?"

Specialist Glamerspear allowed herself to make eye contact with the Royal Engineer, and gave him a nod. "Yes, sir. It's funny you should ask that given that we've just been talking about clothing..." she brought one hoof up to the side of her head and pointed at her helmet. "... Perhaps you noticed that my helmet differed from those of Specialist Sparkshower and Corporal Bound? Besides the cut-out for my horn, of course?" Anonymous leaned in slightly to inspect her headgear before she continued. "...This is a Martingale-Locksteed Mark III Air Defense Assisted Targeting helmet. With the push of a button…” She depressed the catch lever, and with a satisfying snap, two amber lenses slid out to cover her eyes, joining in the middle from their housings on the sides of the helmet, just behind her temples. "... the operator can activate a variety of lenses, appropriate for various sky conditions, and providing a two-times optical magnification."

After giving Anonymous enough time to inspect the first set of amber lenses (good for bright overcast days), Lily pressed the catch lever again and again, swapping out magnified amber lenses, then pink (for dusk and dawn), then magnified-pink, then grey (meant for clear sunny days), then magnified-grey, and finally back to nothing at all.

The Royal Engineer seemed impressed.

Well, he should be! This was some sweet gear, and it’s the latest model, too. Of course, only a talented soldier like her was capable of making full use of it.. Two-times magnification was useless to the unicorns that couldn't get their shots to reach more than a hundred meters up in the air. And that was the overwhelming majority of them in the battalion.

"Clever design."

"Yes, sir. Furthermore, Air Defense soldiers never work alone, but are organized into batteries of three to five gunners and one spotter, equipped with a spotting telescope or pair of binoculars."

"Sensible. I'd love to see it in action."

"Sir, firing exercises are held weekly at Fort Horseshoe Bend."

"I'll have to make the trip sometime." He stood up straight once again, grasping his hands to the breasts of his jacket. "Well, Specialist Glamerspear, thank you for indulging my curiosity. And thank you again for the wardrobe advice; I'll see about placing an order for something more fashionable."

Looking him in the eyes, she gave a salute. "It is a guard's duty to serve, sir."

The Royal Engineer gave her a small bow. "And I appreciate your service, Specialist. Thank you." With his water cup in hand, Anonymous turned and walked back to his desk.

Well, how about that! They'd told her when she signed up for this that VIPs were almost inevitably demanding, inconsiderate, stuck-up bucking assholes. It didn't matter too much to Lily; the rewards were more than worth the potential suffering. But assuming Anonymous followed through and wasn't just humoring her, it looked like she'd hit the jackpot! She'd better ask Sparks to switch places again, because it looked like 'The Glam putting the moves on Captain Mailedhoof' was back on again. After that brief roller-coaster of stress and relief, Lily Glamerspear settled in for a pleasant, and likely uneventful, eight-hour shift.

'Oh, you're going to be my ticket straight to a Colonel or General a month from now, Mailedhoof.’

'Unf, and that croup of his...'

Next Chapter: Chapter 7 Estimated time remaining: 36 Hours, 48 Minutes