Honour Bound

It was another day in the Royal Guard for Corporal Honour Bound. That used to mean 'another boring day.’ However, serving as a VIP bodyguard for Anonymous, By Appointment to Their Majesties Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, Royal Engineer, had proven to be anything but. Yet, with his armor on order, Kilfeather de-feathered and appeased, their new batpony reconciled to the team, and even Glamerspear hopefully on the mend, Honour was hoping the excitement was going to wind down a bit. She was looking forward to a nice, simple, relaxing Sunday.

A Sunday probably spent watching the Royal Engineer work with some draft ponies in the garage, building a 'steam-powered automobile,’ if Sparkshower's report from yesterday was anything to go by. It sounded interesting, and Anonymous' book certainly had chapters on both steam power and automobiles, though Honour hadn't quite gotten as far as those yet. Anyways, it would probably be better to see it in reality before trying to understand the theory. If she was really lucky, he might even explain it out loud a bit today.

Nursing her mug of coffee, Honour flipped over the weekend paper on the card-table before her as she awaited the start of her shift. Galloway Bitsmount had still made the front page, though not as the lead story. 'BITSMOUNT AND SONGWELL CONTINUE PUBLIC APOLOGY TOUR' started off a fat, double-wide column on the left side.

It seemed like their little song-and-dance number was a big hit among the few, well-to-do members of Canterlot society who stayed in the city for the weekend, despite all the hustle and bustle from ordinary-class ponies piling in for Celestia's open court. Even those ordinary ponies were piling on the praise. 'APOLOGY OF THE YEAR' was the title of one editorial in their favor, though it was a bit early to be making that call.

And Honour still couldn't shake the feeling that something was not quite right.

When they’d visited him at the mine, Bitsmount seemed guilty as all Tartarus. Still, as her VIP had pointed out, there was no evidence or witnesses, so there was nothing to gainsay him or his foremost teamster. Honour ignored the stories about them and carried on.

Most of the other news items related to matters of court business: the settling of long-standing feuds and other accounts in distant parts of the country. Celestia's Weekend Day Court, being the highest court in the land, was the ultimate place to resolve such disputes.

Before she could get halfway through an article on the resolution of a major Appleloosian land-use case, the front door flew open.

"I'm back, and better than ever!"

Wearing the uniform she went out with yesterday afternoon, Specialist Glamerspear entered the room, beaming with afterglow. She still had the shackles around her horn, though.

Glamerspear turned to Honour after closing the door. "Good morning, Corporal. How come you're armored up? Isn't Sparkshower on duty this shift?"

"I'm taking the morning today to make up for her covering for me on Thursday."

Mentioning Thursday brought back some awkward memories. At least that was another bit of excitement that had been resolved, though. Taking a warm sip from her mug, Honour got back to her 'Canterlot Times.'

But something she’d said seemed to intrigue Glamerspear. "Oh reeeeeeeaaaaaaallyyyyy? Where is she now? I've got the perfect idea!"

Honour shrugged. "She was still hungry this morning and got a second plate. I'm sure she'll be back soon."

"Perfect! Can I ask a favor, then?"

Honour looked up from her news. The kinds of 'favors' Glamerspear had asked for on this assignment so far did not make her optimistic that this latest one would be a good idea.

"What is it?"

"Could you find out if the Royal Engineer could do without Sparkshower and me this morning -- or even this afternoon, or both? After I pay a visit to the infirmary to get these spellbinders off of me, I want to take Sparks out dress-shopping for the Gala!"

Requesting what amounted to a leave of absence when her quaternion was already short-staffed? On the other hoof, it was Sunday. Nopony conducted business today except for Princess Celestia, and then only for a few weekends a year. The likelihood that anypony would want to call on her VIP, and that they would be senior enough to also require three or four of them there as honor guards was pretty low.

Honour nodded. "I'll ask. But don't leave until I find out."

Glamerspear gave her a polite nod. "Yes, Corporal!"

As she returned to her newspaper, Honour could feel Gamerspear’s eyes looking her up and down. "...Saaaayyyyy... When are you going to find yourself something to wear to the Gala? The clock is ticking, ya know!"

Her perkiness this early in the morning was a little disturbing. If anything, spending all evening at the Officers' Club drinking should have left her hung over and miserable. She must have really gotten railed by Captain Mailedhoof last night. And probably gotten a good taste of his 'salt.'

His wallet, in other words.

Honour shrugged again. "I wasn't going to make a big deal about it. Probably just wear my Service Dress Uniform."

Glamerspear reeled back in shock and threw up her hooves. "What! Corporal, you can't just show up in your Royal Reds to the Grand Galloping Gala! It's the biggest pageant of the year! And the biggest colt-and-mare show, too!"

Landing down on all fours again, she stepped forward, wearing a wry smile. "You've got to look your best for all the eligible Corporal Colts out there, eh?"

‘Oh, brother.’

Honour shook her head. "I'm not planning to gussy myself up for the Gala -- and especially not for the colts."

Glamerspear stepped up to the card-table, and the corporal could smell the odor of sweat and sex on her. She got railed, all right.

"For the mares, then?"

Honour gave her a dismissive frown. "Har-har."

The horn-shackled unicorn leaned in over the table, placing her forehooves on it, and her pungent unwashed stench assailed Honour’s nostrils. ‘Whew!’ Not even Sergeant Ebonshield's room smelled that bad after she brought home a random colt from the nightclub.

"Alright, so then for the colts! What's the problem with making yourself look good for 'em? That's how you get their attention! You wanna stay single all your life, Corporal?"

Half an hour before a morning shift began was really not when she wanted to be having this kind of conversation. Especially not with a young, fresh-from-the-sack unicorn specialist.

Or is that ripe-from-the-sack?

But Glamerspear was so energetic right then that Honour doubted she could shut her down without at least humoring her questions for a little bit.

"First of all, Glamerspear, I have had coltfriends before." Honour put down the newspaper and looked her in the eyes. "And second of all, the kind of colt who horns in on tarted-up mares in slinky dresses is the kind of colt I can do without."

Glamerspear rolled her eyes at her and, mercifully, got back down and plopped herself into a chair, giving some space between her and her stink.

"Oh, come onnnnn, Corporal. Don't tell me you're one of those kinds of mares, who thinks that only bad colts go for attractive mares!" Glamerspear dismissively batted a hoof in the air. "That's some grade-A manure. Bad colts go for anything with four hooves, attractive or not! Believe me, I've probably met more of them than you have."

Honour could believe that last part, at least.

The chipper unicorn continued on. "And anyways, I'm not suggesting that you 'tart yourself up' like some street-walking dollymop. Just, y'know, make yourself a nice 'catch,' that's all. Get yourself a nice dress, some makeup, a new manedo, maybe some new sabots--"

'Ugh,' her 'go out there and get yourself a colt' speech was starting to remind Honour of her mother's nagging when she visited home.

The corporal cut her off before the similarities became too uncomfortable. "Whatever fashion-show beauty standard you're thinking of isn't worth the effort just to 'catch' myself a shallow colt."

Trying to get back to her newspaper, she picked up her coffee and swiveled sideways in her seat. Glamerspear just stared at her, squinting in confusion. The long moment of silence had her hoping she'd drop the subject.

Then her Prench-pink unicorn Specialist shook her head, and Honour knew she wasn’t going to.

"I don't understand."

‘Looks like I’m going to have to spell it out.’

Swivelling back in her chair, Honour sighed and dropped the newspaper. "I'm brown, Glamerspear. Brown coat, brown mane, brown tail, brown eyes." She gestured with her coffee cup. "In a world of colorful ponies, it takes a lot of work to make me stand out."

Picking up her newspaper again, she leaned back and tried to find where she’d left off with that Appleloosian land dispute. "Believe me, I've done it before. And it attracted the wrong kind of colt back then. I'm not about to repeat my mistake."

There was another long, silent pause, which gave her enough time to finish the article. As she flipped over the paper and got started on the next one, Glamerspear undid the chin-strap for her fur cap, then removed the hat and placed it down on the table.

Abandoning her energetic enthusiasm, she placed her hooves together on the table and composed herself in her seat.

"Corporal?"

This time, the tone was more restrained.

Honour looked up again, and Glamerspear was frowning at her.

"...You really feel that way? You don't like the way you look?"

Honour shrugged. "I like the way I look just fine. But I know it's not very attractive."

Glamerspear really furrowed her brow. "It's not very attractive? You mean you're not attractive? Corporal, that's ridiculous!"

‘Now what?’

She gestured with one hoof in the corporal’s direction. "You're being too hard on yourself, Honour. You're a good-looking mare. Nice teeth, symmetrical face, clean coat, well-shaped body..." Glamerspear shrugged, still frowning. "... Maybe not ready for the cover page of Cosmoponitan, but who is? I don't think you've got anything to be ashamed of. All I was trying to say earlier is that you'd look even better in a nice dress, and with your mane and tail down instead of up in a braid -- or heck, leave it braided, but use some nicer hair-bands and get a little help to tidy the weave up, that's all."

Curling up one side of her mouth, and grimacing with concern, Glamerspear looked askance at her. "...Did someone tell you that you weren't good-looking?"

Honour sighed. It was just like visiting her mother, all right.

"No. I figured it out for myself."

The unicorn planted her hooves on the table, and pushed herself up a little bit. Not enough to re-unleash the smell, thankfully. "Well, you're wrong, okay? You're wrong if you think that. You're a good-looking pony, Honour. I'm being honest, here!"

As she pointed a hoof in her direction to emphasize the point, the hallway door opened and Sparkshower walked in, exhaling sharply. "Whew! Maybe I shouldn't have had that second plate! Oh, hey Glamerspear! How was your night?"

Glamerspear immediately seized on the fresh opportunity. "Sparks! Come over here and tell the Corporal that she's attractive!"

That resulted in a quizzical look on the cream-colored Pegasus' face. "Uh... okay?"

After shutting the door, Sparkshower trotted over to the card-table.

But before she could say anything, Glamerspear started into explanations. "Corporal Bound doesn't think she's good-looking because she's brown. I've never heard anything so ridiculous in my life! Come on, you think she's a pretty mare, don't you?"

Sparkshower looked Honour over, still a bit confused. After a moment, she nodded her head and tried to smile affirmatively. "Sure, I don't see anything wrong with her."

‘That's some damned faint praise.’

Almost as soon as the words left her mouth, Sparkshower went beet red when she realized what she said. "...I-I mean, you're a pretty mare, Corporal! Why... Why, I bet if you let your mane down you'd look gorgeous! It's so long, and I bet it's luscious and straight! Not like mine, which is short and curly -- I always feel a bit silly with it like that. I bet I'll wish I had your mane if I see it let down. And you'd look great in a nice dress... Like one with puffed sleeves!"

After a brief look of disgust at the thought of such an old-fashioned getup, Glamerspear turned to Honour, triumphant. "There, you see? And when Sergeant Ebonshield wakes up, I'm sure she'll say the same thing!" She pointed an accusing hoof at her. “So, after Sparks and I get something picked out for the Gala today, you'd better take a day off this week and do some shopping yourself. Bring one of us with you if you want a second opinion, even! I know all the right places to shop!"

Sparkshower's look of confusion returned. "Wait, we're doing what today?"

The unicorn shot a smirk over at her pegasus comrade. "As soon as I get this crap removed from my horn and the Corporal here confirms that Anonymous won't be needing us today, I'm taking you out dress-shopping, Artemis. I know just the place to find you something new and stylish for the Gala. And I won't take 'no' for an answer, to the outing or to the dress. I'll treat you myself if I have to!"

Sparkshower's eyes went wide and her face lit up like a child unwrapping presents on Hearth's Warming Day. "Oh, wow! That sounds fun! I'll go take a shower right now so I'll be all ready when you come back from the infirmary!"

"Sure thing, Sparks, knock yourself out."

As Sparkshower trotted over to the washroom door, Glamerspear turned to Honour and lowered her voice. “Anyways, I don't want to hear this kind of nonsense talk about you not being attractive ever again, okay?"

That almost sounded like she was giving her an order. Honour narrowed her eyes a little bit, and the specialist realized her mistake.

"... Uh... Corporal Bound, I mean."

‘That's better.’

Before she could placate the unicorn with an answer, there was a shriek from the other side of the room.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEK!"

Honour leaned around Glamerspear, as she herself twisted back in her seat. Both of them stared at a shocked Sparkshower standing in front of the washroom door.

"Corporal! There's a colt asleep on the toilet in here!"

‘What the buck?’

Honour got to her hooves, and Glamerspear followed after her. Quickly trotting around the sofa, they were soon standing beside the pegasus soldier. Sure enough, there was a young unicorn colt sitting on the can, groggily blinking his eyes after what was surely a rude awakening from Sparkshower's recent outburst.

"Uh... Wha?"

Glamerspear shouted at him with an angry look on her face. "Hey! Who the buck are you, and what the buck are you doing in our washroom?"

The colt just winced at the loud noise, holding his forehooves to his head and groaning incoherently. "Mmmnn... Waszzroo-waszzroom? Oh..." Opening his eyes, he seemed to wake up a bit more. "... Ohm buck... Wha-What time is it?"

Honour glanced back at the clock. "Seven-fifty-five."

That got his attention, and he slid off the porcelain throne which had served as his bed. "Seven-fifty-five? Damnit, uhmgonnabelatefurclaszzz..."

He started stumbling towards the three of them, and they all took a healthy step backwards. Sparkshower, probably because she was still a bit shocked at finding this colt in her washroom. Glamerspear, because she wanted to keep him at a safe distance for a fight. Honour just backed up because she was worried his next move might be to throw up.

Then there was a voice from beside the corporal. "It is Sunday today, chico. No classes today."

Sergeant Ebonshield, wearing a slinky translucent negligee, had emerged from behind her door and stepped towards the befuddled young colt.

"Uhn? No classes?"

Taking him on one shoulder, the batpony steadied him and guided him out of the washroom. "No, mi pequeño. The Schola Magia is closed on the Sunday, yes? You told me this."

The colt nodded, coming with her.

It was all the three of them could do but to watch as their sergeant -- who might almost be old enough to be this young colt's grandmother from the look of him -- led her latest 'take-home dinner' back to her room.

"Oh... Oh, right, yeah."

"Come on, now. You need some more sleep of the beauty."

"O-Okay. I think I had a bit too much to drink."

"Sí, and you made yourself very tired with exertion. You must come back to bed."

"Mmm-hmm, yeah... Heh... Yeah, I remember... heh..."

Grinning stupidly, he stopped, leaned over, and gave Ebonshield a sloppy kiss on the neck. "... I... I'm your tiger, aren't I, baby? That's what you said last night, ehehehehe..."

Looking a little embarrassed at that revelation, she wrapped one of her bat-wings around him, and pulled him more forcefully towards her door. "Sí, sí, eres mi tigre. But now the tigre, he needs the rest. Come, come."

Without any further interruptions or discussions from the hung-over young unicorn colt, she managed to get him into her room -- still dark, with the curtains closed. After a few moments spent tucking him in, the adventurous batpony Sergeant emerged, looking rather less confident than usual. She stepped right up in front of Specialist Sparkshower, standing almost snout-to-snout.

‘What the buck?’

Surprisingly, Sparkshower didn’t back down, and a second later, Ebonshield closed her eyes and bowed her head -- and kept it held down. "I apologize most profoundly for this rude shock, Specialist Sparkshower. This was my fault for not keeping track of my colt when he got up to use the washroom early this morning."

Despite apparently understanding the gesture enough to not back away, Sparkshower still looked uncomfortable with this setup. "Uhm... It's okay, Sergeant. I was just surprised, that's all. It's no big deal."

"No, no, do not say this -- 'It is no big deal.' I have been most inconsiderate; I must apologize most profusely for this unworthy conduct."

Sparkshower looked at a loss for words, and there was a long silence.

Finally, Honour shrugged her shoulders. "Well, I don't have time for this; I've got to go on duty. Sergeant Ebonshield?"

The batpony opened her eyes and looked up at the corporal from her bowed position.

"...Just try to keep your colt-toys under control next time, okay?"

"Of course, Caporal. I will not allow this to happen a second time."

"Sparkshower, accept her apology, will you?"

"Uh, I accept your apology, Sergeant Ebonshield?"

That got the batpony's head back up again. "Gracias, mi camarada." After a second brief bow, she stepped aside, leaving the way to the washroom clear. "Please, do not allow me to interrupt you further."

With that, she gave another bow to Honour and to Glamerspear, then walked back into her room and shut the door. With a sigh, Sparkshower headed into the washroom.

After a moment's awkward silence, Glamerspear made an announcement to no one in particular. "Well, I'm going to medical."

Honour glanced in her direction. "Maybe wait to have a shower first, Glam."

The specialist looked over at her, confused, and the corporal held a hoof up to her nose. "Unless you want them to know exactly what you were up to last night."

Glamerspear didn’t look embarrassed, but she did nod a little awkwardly, at least.

"...Sorry."

Shaking her head, Honour headed to the card-table and quickly downed the last of her coffee as Glamerspear headed to her room and started to pull off the rest of her uniform.

So much for this being a boring Sunday.

But at least that was it for surprises, right?

Suggested interlude music: Johnny Mercer - 'Ac-Cent-Tchu-Ate the Positive'
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3cpyWmYwl1A

We're back to dailies!