Lily Glamerspear

---

Specialist Glamerspear had a front-row seat to the upcoming fireworks. Anonymous was sitting at his desk, doing paperwork -- or maybe just pretending to do paperwork, since he’d said he was going to 'act busy' when Kilfeather came by. And since her ex asked for a three o'clock visit, that should be any minute now. In front of her, Corporal Bound was standing in front of the double doors, one of her spears drawn, assembled, and held at attention. It was a shame Ebonshield wasn't back yet, as they could really use a third set of hooves; Kilfeather could be a real wagon load to manage, and Lily’s horn was still spellbound.

Still, she wouldn't mind giving him a good kick in the head if that's what it came down to.

She heard hoofsteps on the tile floor outside the doors, followed shortly afterwards by a knock. Honour gave Lily a knowing glance, before turning around and pulling the door open a crack. The unicorn could hear a hushed exchange of greetings, followed shortly after by the doors closing once more and the corporal stepping forward into the room, saluting.

"Sir, Lieutenant Kilfeather is here to see you."

Anonymous looked up from where he was hunched over his desk, with his pencil still in his hand.

"Show him in, Corporal."

The little bit of theater complete, Honour saluted, before she turned back to the door and opened it wide.

And there he was, the colt of the hour...

Lieutenant Valiant 'Icepone' Kilfeather. He was sitting sideways, looking off down the corridor as if he wasn't the least bit interested in the meeting.

Kilfeather turned his head and looked Lily in the eyes.

And that smug smile of his appeared on his face.

"Oh, hi Lily." Her ex-coltfriend stepped into the Royal Engineer's chambers, and Honour closed the door behind him. "Fancy meeting you here."

The slime-ball sauntered up towards her, undressing her with his eyes as he affected a fake look of concern. "How's the horn, by the way?"

Now that he was up close, she got a good look at the bandages enveloping his wing-arms.

"It'll be fine in another day or two, Val." She smirked. "How are the wings?"

He tilted his head back, licking the back of his teeth. "Heh. They could be better." Kilfeather glanced back at his left wing and uselessly shrugged it upwards, showing the bandages clearly.

"I'm afraid I'm grounded until the fall molt. Guess this means I'll be sitting out this year's MXP Games."

Lily squinted and pursed her lips, pouring out mock sympathy. "Aww, poor baby."

Lowering the wing, Kilfeather shrugged off her insult and glanced around the room. "It's a shame. I was really hoping to lead the squadron into the Grand Mêlée for a second clean sweep."

Lily was about to make another quip when the Royal Engineer, still sitting behind his desk, noisily cleared his throat.

"Lieutenant, I hope you haven't requested this audience merely to harangue my guards."

Lily’s ex dropped the grin and looked over at her VIP, who was glaring at him from underneath his reading-glasses. "My apologies, Lord. I wouldn't dream of wasting Your Excellency's valuable time."

As he put on his 'modesty' face and stepped towards the Royal Engineer's desk, her VIP made his retort, wearing a scowl.

"You've wasted quite a substantial amount of my time already, Lieutenant."

‘Heh.’

She resisted smirking as Kilfeather was put in his place.

The cocksure Lieutenant closed his eyes and bowed his head, licking his lips. "I know, sir, and I apologize. Please believe me when I say that I didn't do so deliberately."

"Your actions last weekend seemed rather deliberate to me."

Kilfeather had to grin as Lily's VIP sardonically laid into him. He sighed and tried to compose himself. "It was nothing personal, sir."

Anonymous put his pencil down and sat back in his chair. "From what I understand, Lieutenant, it was entirely personal; I just happened to not have been the person in question."

Once again, Kilfeather had to shut his eyes. He sighed and opened his mouth in a grin, chuckling. "Heh. I can see that I've started off on the wrong hoof, here," he began, glancing back at Lily. "...And also that my reputation has apparently preceded me."

Composing himself again, Kilfeather dropped the grin. "I'll get straight to the point, then. You have something of mine, my Lord, and I would like it back."

‘Huh?’

Lily shot a glance over at Honour, but her corporal was cool as a cucumber, and she couldn’t read anything in the mare’s stony face.

Kilfeather jerked a hoof back in Lily’s direction. "After your bodyguard defeated me in our duel, she grabbed my helmet -- what remained of it, at least. I want it back."

‘What the buck?’ He wanted his helmet back? Lily squinted, and was about to interject, when she saw Corporal Bound shake her head, ordering the specialist to hold it in.

Anonymous placed his elbows on his desk and clasped his fingers in front of him. "This sounds like a matter between you and Specialist Glamerspear, Lieutenant. What does it have to do with me?"

Even Lily knew the answer to that question, but Kilfeather gave the explanation.

"As a Lord, you were the commanding authority for Specialist Glamerspear at the time. You're responsible for any misdeeds she might have done under your leadership."

‘Oh, buck him!’

"Misdeeds!?" Kilfeather looked back as Lily stepped forwards towards him. "If anyone committed 'misdeeds,' it was you and your squadron, Val!"

He remained calm in spite of her outburst. "Not true. You stole my helmet."

Getting right in front of him and waggling her cone above his head, Lily jabbed a hoof into his chest. "Bullshit. That was a battlefield trophy, and my keeping it was done solely at the discretion of the commanding authority -- which, as you just pointed out, was the Royal Engineer at the time."

Val's grin returned, and he shook his head. "Ah-ah-ah, Lily. Battlefield trophies can only be taken from enemy combatants..."

He leaned his head forward, uncomfortably breaching her personal space, and Lily recoiled her head to match.

"... We're both in the Royal Guard. Duels don't count."

Lily scowled as he sat back normally again. What she wouldn't give to be able to shove a telekinetic spear up his smug face right now...

From behind his desk, Lily’s VIP spoke up. "Lieutenant Kilfeather, after Specialist Glamerspear was done with you, your helmet was a mangled mess, little more than scrap metal. Why do you want it back?"

Val turned his head back towards Anonymous. "Does it matter, sir? It's my property, and she stole it from me."

‘Wait a minute…’

It's not his property! This request of his made sense now.

"You mean it's the Royal Guard's property..."

Kilfeather swiveled his head around to squint at the specialist.

"... And you need it back because otherwise the loss of equipment is on you!"

He sat and looked at her in silence. That silence, plus the lack of a grin on his face, was all Lily needed to confirm her suspicions. Finally, he put his smirk on again and turned back to Anonymous.

"I've got to give your bodyguards credit, sir. They're not as stupid as they look."

‘Motherbucker!’

"But it still doesn't change the fact that I want you to order Specialist Glamerspear to return my helmet."

The Royal Engineer managed to keep perfectly calm. "You've been nothing but trouble to me and my entourage, Lieutenant. I'm not very inclined to accede to your request."

Kilfeather began grinning again. "I understand, my Lord. But believe me, sir, when I say that I don't want us to be enemies."

Was Val trying to threaten her VIP?

A member of the Privy Council?

That's crazy!

Anonymous lifted an eyebrow. "Pardon me, Lieutenant. Are you proposing to become my enemy if I refuse?"

Val shook his head. "Not if I can help it, sir..."

He shrugged his shoulders. "... But if you wrong me, then as a gentlecolt, what choice do I have?"

The Royal Engineer leaned forward, staring down at Kilfeather from behind his impressive desk.

"Lieutenant, from where I sit, I see a pony who has offended a large number of ponies and committed a number of outright crimes, and is likely to soon find themselves in a court-martial dock."

Kilfeather's grin broke into a full-on smile. "Ah yes, it does look that way, doesn't it, sir." He started nodding. "But you're wrong. And I don't blame you for failing to understand -- you don't know the delicate balancing act going on in the Royal Guard."

Kilfeather shook his head, twitching his ears. "They won't court-martial me. Not for all the outraged howls coming from the nobles I accosted at Oldstirrup Bridge. Not even for what you say I did. The leaders of the Royal Guard won't prostrate themselves towards the landed nobility and the idle rich -- not any more. They're trying to do away with purchased commissions and build a professional officer corps. They won't dare put me -- a non-noble officer, who cut his chops in the academy, an MXP champion and a decorated warrior -- on trial. It'll undo everything the Chiefs of Staff and the Minister of Defence have worked for."

He looked back at Lily, giving a nod towards her VIP. "Why don't you tell him, Lil'?"

‘Damn.’ The bastard really had thought this out.

Lily glanced down at the floor for a moment, pawing at it with her hoof. When she looked back up, Anonymous was waiting expectantly for an answer.

She sighed. "He may be right, sir. The Guard has been trying to kill off purchased commissions and to reduce the percentage of nobles in the officer corps. His 'Pas de Sabots' really drove a wedge between the nobility and the Royal Guard leadership. The reforms have popular support, and common ponies love to see the nobility get embarrassed."

Kilfeather chuckled, turning back to Anonymous. "Heh-heh, and I embarrassed them, all right. You should have seen what happened at Oldstirrup Bridge -- it was pathetic. Nopony put up even half as good a fight as your crew did."

He stepped forward, nodding and smiling from cheek to cheek. "That's why I moved even after your crew KO'd three of us. I knew the rookies in my squadron could handle a bunch of fops with nothing more than rent-a-guards. And Major-General Hoofstrong knew it, too: the 'Pas de Sabots' was her idea in the first place. I just came along and implemented it for her, with glorious results. She'll fight to defend me, and she has friends. They'll even try to suppress the first encounter at Newstirrup Bridge."

Anonymous slowly pulled off his reading glasses. "But you can still get in trouble for losing your equipment, is that it?"

Kilfeather shrugged. "A few days in the brig. A suspension for a few weeks or months. Maybe a demotion to Lieutenant Junior-Grade if the supporters of the Old Regime can trump up the charges enough and put together a sympathetic board of inquiry."

He rolled his head sideways. "Is that worth my enmity, sir? It doesn't sound like a good trade to me, and if you're the clever colt I now realize you are, it shouldn't to you, either."

When Anonymous didn’t say anything, Kilfeather continued. "That was my biggest mistake, by the way, my Lord -- not realizing how clever you were."

Anonymous cocked an eyebrow again. "Really, Lieutenant. After insulting my guards, you're trying flattery, now?"

Kilfeather shook his head. "It's not flattery, sir. It's just honesty -- I figured you'd appreciate it."

He breathed a deep sigh, gesturing with one hoof. "I knew you had to be smart if Her Majesty made you the Royal Engineer. But I thought if I put you on the spot -- really turn on the pressure -- you and your entourage wouldn't be clever enough to beat me."

Kilfeather licked his lips and beamed. "That's my speciality, after all -- intuition, figuring things out with the clock ticking..."

He shook his head and pointed up towards the sky. "Up there, you don't have time to think. If you think, you're dead."

With a smile, Lily’s scheming ex-coltfriend lowered his hoof and waited expectantly in front of Anonymous' desk.

And her stony-faced VIP sat there looking at him for a good long time.

Eventually he looked over at Lily, and inhaled deeply before speaking softly. "Specialist, go and get the Lieutenant's helmet."

‘What!’

Lily couldn’t withhold her indignation. "Now, wait just a second, sir!"

Kilfeather grinned as Anonymous interrupted her. "Unless you can think of a legitimate reason to hold onto that helmet, Specialist Glamerspear, then we have to return it."

"Yeah, Lily, go do as your VIP tells you."

The unicorn stared daggers at Kilfeather.

Anonymous broke the silence by addressing himself to Honour. "On second thought, Corporal, why don't you go and fetch it? Do you know where it is?"

She saluted. "Yes, sir. I do, sir."

With that, she exited the room to trot upstairs. No doubt she'd seen it sitting on Lily’s desk.

She couldn’t believe Kilfeather was getting what he wanted! But she supposed he was right; there was nothing she could do to him that was worth it in the long run. Trying to force the issue would just result in making enemies not just of him, but the higher-ups in the Royal Guard who wanted this 'Pas de Sabots' to succeed. Bucking asshole was backed up by a whole damn conspiracy.

At least Anonymous had spared her the humiliation of having to turn it back over personally.

Kilfeather was still staring intently at her. When he saw her returning his gaze, he nodded, glancing down at Lily’s chest.

"The Silver Ram... So you really are a war hero, huh?"

Apparently, he only just now noticed the medal she was wearing around her neck.

Lily cocked an eyebrow. "You didn't believe me when I said I was a Centurion of the Order, Val?"

He chuckled. "Oh, I believed you... I wouldn't have put it past you to lie, but I believed you. You deserved it, after all."

Kilfeather licked his lips, and for a moment, that smug grin on his face actually appeared sincere. "...I always knew you were the best anti-air gunner in the Royal Guard. That's why I had my squadron lead our dogfights towards your defense sector during the Invasion."

Lily blinked.

"You're joking. You and me were already broken up by then."

Val rolled his head around. "Aw, come on, Lil'. I may be an asshole -- hell, I know I'm an asshole -- but I'm an asshole who knows how to keep my professional and personal lives separate. I might've screwed things up with you, sure..."

He turned to face Anonymous, and gave what actually looked like a proper, respectful bow to her VIP.

"I might've even used a superior officer's political scheme for personal ends."

Lifting his head, he stepped back so that he could look at both Lily and the Royal Engineer together.

"...But I know how to fight, and I know when I see a real fighter standing before me. Me and my squadron got creamed during the Changeling Invasion -- almost everypony did -- but before we went down, we took a bunch of the bastards with us, and I made sure to lead the rest to the ponies I knew could best destroy them."

Kilfeather's smirk snuck back onto his face, and he lifted both of his forehooves to point them in Lily’s direction.

"That was the 86th Artys, at least while you were in 'em, babe. I knew from the moment I set eyes on you that you were going to do great things. That's what drew me to you, not your little side business. It was the same thing with your Pegasus comrade... She's got the eye of the tiger, too."

Lily rolled her eyes as the door opened and Corporal Bound came back in.

"You're full of yourself, Kilfeather."

He grinned. "I'm full of danger, baby. And that's what you liked about me."

As he beamed satisfaction and confidence, Honour stepped forward and pulled his helmet wreckage out of a saddle-bag. It still looked like it got trampled flat by a stampede -- and then breathed on by a dragon for good measure.

Anonymous cleared his throat. "If you're quite finished, Lieutenant -- your helmet."

With a smile, Kilfeather took it back from Corporal Bound and put it into his own saddle-bag.

"Many thanks, Corporal."

He stepped to his hooves and saluted Lily’s VIP. "And many thanks to you as well, my Lord. I'm glad this situation has been resolved amiably."

Anonymous swiveled his chair to one side. "As am I. However, I'm sure you'll understand if I would prefer not to meet you again, Lieutenant."

The put-down just made Kilfeather perk up more. "I understand, sir. Although, I have to admit, I find the possibility of a rematch -- a friendly one, of course -- very enticing."

The Royal Engineer gave him a cold stare. "I imagine the Royal Guard will not be in a hurry to authorize a second 'Pas de Sabots.'"

Kilfeather shook his head, still smiling. "Ha-ha, no, I imagine that they won't... And I'm not in any shape for anything right now, either. But you know, My Lord, word will eventually get around that your group soundly beat mine, and sporting duels for status and bragging rights aren't uncommon in the Guard. Somepony else may want to test your mettle before I get another chance."

He cocked his neck sideways. "If I were you, I'd make sure to keep my bodyguards in top form."

With a final salute, and no response from Anonymous to that parting threat -- was it even a threat? -- Lily’s trouble-making ex-coltfriend turned around and headed for the door.

The door that Sergeant Ebonshield, dressed in her black armor and a sweeping, long, black cloak that draped all the way down to radiate outwards on the floor, was standing resolutely beside.

That stopped Kilfeather in his tracks.

"Hell-o, what do we have here?"

He looked over his shoulder at the Royal Engineer. "This is quite the menagerie of guards you've gathered together, my Lord Engineer."

Stepping forward again, Kilfeather approached the cloaked batpony, who at the moment was only distinguishable from any other kind by her slit eyes and tufted ears.

"Now I really am interested in a four-on-four rematch! What's your name, tall, dark and mysterious?"

Sergeant Ebonshield didn’t move her head, and just looked sideways at him.

"Danger."

Her cold voice did nothing to dampen his mood.

"You don't say? It's my middle name..."

Standing in front of the door, Kilfeather turned back to the rest of the room. "My Lord, it was a pleasure doing business with you. I look eagerly forward to our next meeting. Good day, sir!"

Laughing, he pulled the door open, exited the room, and closed it behind him.

There was a long moment where nopony said anything. The silence was finally broken by Anonymous, who raised his hand to rub the bridge of his nose.

"Sergeant, I think I'd like to expedite that combat training plan of yours."

Instantly, she turned to face him and bowed her head. "Certainly, Great Lord. Specialist Sparkshower returned just before the Corporal Bound came to bring me down in support. She has located a blacksmith who should satisfy your requirements. All that must be done is to call upon him for a measuring."

Tired, the Royal Engineer laid one hand on his desk. "Should we go now? Will he still be open?"

Ebonshield bowed her head again. "Great Lord, the village where can be found this blacksmith is almost three hours away by ground. Specialist Sparkshower reported to me that he is pleased to serve the customers genuine at any time of day, but I should caution the Great Lord that we would not arrive until after nightfall, and it would surely be quite late by the time we returned."

That sounded pretty far.

All eyes were on Anonymous, who frowned and looked down at his hands.

"Hmmm... Maybe not, though..." He looked up, and there was a small smile on his face. "... I still have an open offer from Princess Celestia to make use of one of her flying carriages."

‘Aw, yeah!’

---

Suggested interlude music: Kenny Loggins - 'Danger Zone', from 'Top Gun' [1986]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=siwpn14IE7E

Next Chapter: Chapter 51 Estimated time remaining: 28 Hours, 9 Minutes