Everyday Life With Guardsmares
Chapter 27
Previous Chapter Next ChapterArtemis Sparkshower
Today was a great day. It wasn’t because Artemis had made a new friend the other day in the form of Sergeant Ebonshield, her new squadmate. It wasn’t because she got to sub in for her friend and comrade, Specialist Lily Glamerspear, while she recuperated from acute mana poisoning; though, to be fair, that was a lot more interesting than sitting around their quarters or doing boring training exercises! It wasn’t even because the forecast called for sunny skies and warm spring weather.
It was a great day, because Artemis got another letter from her Puddin'.
Huckleberry Pudding, Artemis’ coltfriend back in Berry had at last found the time to put quill to paper and send her a dispatch, after having failed to write to her since she’d last seen him a month and a half ago. And in it, he’d given heartfelt apologies for how long it had taken him to write, how he'd failed to come visit her, and how he was sorry that he hadn't figured out a plan to move to Canterlot. It was all good stuff that made Artemis tear up with joy when she’d first read it.
But the contents of the letter honestly didn't matter that much to her. It was enough just to hear from him, to see his signature at the bottom, and to smell the faintest hint of his musk on the paper. That's all it took to send her up to the stratosphere. Artemis was going to write him back that night, as soon as her shift was up.
Maybe she could get some leave to go visit him!
Hmmm... Or maybe she could see about doing what Glamerspear suggested, and send him a photograph of herself in something... risqué?
She’d have to think about that one. Her Puddin' was a traditional colt for Berry, and Berry was as traditional a town as they come. She might set tongues wagging in her hometown if she sent her colt a picture of herself in a piece of high-cut Canterlot fashion! After all, what Glamerspear and Ebonshield had been wearing last night left basically nothing to the imagination! They might as well have gone around without anything on at all!
Which they did all the time, she supposed.
But still, a dress without a bustle!
Scandalous.
And they'd come back scandalously late, too. As Artemis was a light sleeper, she’d heard them all when they came in. The first was Corporal Bound, just after midnight when her shift was over. No surprise or ignominy there.
Glamerspear was second, staggering in at around one o'clock, and her hoofsteps heavy on the floor. She might've had a little too much to drink with Captain Mailedhoof. The antimagic pills surely didn't help, either.
Finally Sergeant Ebonshield had come in, quiet as a mouse, at almost four in the morning. Artemis had barely even heard her; there was just the quiet fluttering of leathery wings. She was noisier than a pegasus trying their best to be silent, but not by much. Plenty of Artemis’ own kind made a lot more noise when flapping about. Anyway, she clearly must have had a good time to have stayed out so long -- and so late.
The pegasus hoped she could bring Glamerspear around to liking Ebonshield soon. It wouldn't be good to serve as the in-between friend for too long, considering how they all had to work together. Clearly, they had some interests in common she could bring up. Artemis didn't think clubbing was for her, but she’d bet they would have a lot of fun doing it together! Maybe the next time Glamerspear was in-between 'salt-licks'?
Thoughts for later.
Still happy and full of energy from that moment the morning's mail slipped under their door, Artemis eagerly knocked on the door to the Royal Engineer's chambers.
"Come in."
Giddily pushing her way into her VIP's chambers, Artemis sounded off. "Specialist Sparkshower reporting for duty, sir!"
Anonymous was standing in the middle of the room wearing an outfit she hadn’t seen before, but it looked exactly like his new athletic clothes as Eb had described them. He was doing some kind of stretching, with his legs splayed out wide as he bent over to one side to touch his feet.
"Good morning, Specialist. You seem to be in a good mood today."
"Yes, sir, I am!" As she eagerly shut the door behind her, the Royal Engineer got back up, before bending over the other way.
"Would I be intruding if I asked why?"
‘Aww, your VIP cares about your happiness! That's nice of him.’
She felt herself blushing a little bit. "No, sir. I received a letter from my coltfriend this morning."
Standing up again and placing his hands on his hips, he gave her a knowing nod. "Ah, I see. I take it he's not in Canterlot?"
"No, sir, he isn't."
He spread his arms and rotated his torso completely to one side, stretching at the waist. "I hope everything's going well for you two. Long-distance relationships can be difficult sometimes."
Artemis bobbed her head, still smiling. "They're going well, sir. Thank you, sir."
The Royal Engineer swiveled his shoulders around in the other direction. "I must confess that I was expecting Specialist Glamerspear this morning. I was hoping to make use of my new exercise wear in order to get her final approval. Wasn't she still scheduled on morning duty?"
"She is, sir, but I'm replacing her while she's on medical leave. Apparently, the MXP Games totem didn't completely protect her from the mana poisoning she gave herself when she took down Icepone. She's suffering headaches and other effects."
Her charge stopped his exercises. "Oh, no! She should have said something yesterday. I had no visitors, so I could have easily dismissed her to go see a doctor. Is she all right?"
In service training, you were told to rarely expect sympathy from a VIP. VIPs were demanding and self-interested to a fault. Anonymous was full of compassion, though. Artemis had really lucked out. And Ebonshield was right to have taken a liking to him! The old stories about batponies being miserable villains couldn't possibly be true; no scoundrel could as quickly take a shining to so charitable a pony as the Royal Engineer!
"She'll be fine, sir. But she's on medication that makes it impossible for her to serve as your bodyguard for the time being."
"Well, do give her my best wishes this afternoon. In the meantime, would you care to escort me on a jog around the garden?"
‘Asking you politely, as if you had a choice!’
It really was a good day to be Artemis Sparkshower.
"Absolutely, sir!"
As her VIP beckoned her over and they both headed towards the patio door behind the Royal Engineer’s bureau, he paused and held up a finger. "You've just reminded me of a question I had earlier, Specialist. What does the 'MXP' stand for in 'MXP Games'?"
Artemis almost winced. Even growing up in the simple countryside, that was an awkward topic.
"Er, it's a little embarrassing, to be honest. The old name for the 'MXP Games' is the 'Grand Tournament of Canterlot', and some ponies still call it that, because every few years somepony in the Royal Guard decides it needs a 'hip,’ 'cool' new name..."
Anonymous raised an eyebrow at her as he unlocked the glass door.
"... The latest such re-branding has it as the 'Most Extreme Pony Challenge'."
With the door opened, Artemis took to the air, clutching her spear in one forehoof as she awkwardly scratched her shoulder with the other.
"... It's generally considered so cringey that everypony always uses the 'MXP' acronym instead."
The Royal Engineer snorted, and then began to laugh. "Ahaha, I know exactly what that's like. We sometimes had the same problem in my world with such things, as well..."
As he shut the door behind them both, he kicked up his heels and headed off. "... But I wouldn't mind hearing a little about the Games, if you're able to talk and fly at the same time."
‘Pfft, as if any pegasus couldn't do that!’
"Sure thing, sir!"
Artemis took up a position beside and very slightly above him, and began to explain to her alien VIP the intricacies of the Royal Guard's annual martial games. The air was cool, but the sun shined down on her wings, filling Artemis with warmth. There was a nice breeze in the air, too, sending the tails of her white guardspony's caparison fluttering.
It really was nice out.
Flying off with her VIP, Artemis was filled with eager anticipation to see what pleasures the rest of the day held in store for her.
And, Celestia willing, she’d see her dear Puddin' again soon.
Suggested interlude music: Aretha Franklin - 'Ac-Cent-Tchu-Ate the Positive' [1962]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4IP9h40z0sk
