George Zerofear

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"After all that, he refused to do anything? Some help you were, you old goat!"

George Zerofear, bodyguard to Mr. J. P. Mustang was watching, along with three of his compatriots, as Galloway Bitsmount's lone escort sweated heavily. Probably because she was worried that Mr. Mustang was going to slap her idiot charge right in the muzzle.

After delivering his latest insult, the brash young wastrel turned around and crossed in front of Mr. Mustang's desk once more.

His boss just leaned back in his desk-chair, puffing calmly away at his cigar.

"... Well? Are you just going to sit there, JP? Or are you going to pull on the reigns of this 'friend' of yours?"

Slowly, Mr. Mustang pulled the cigar out of his mouth and gently rolled its tip against the inside edge of his ashtray.

"Your grandfather called me JP when I was a young colt, because my father financed the opening of his first shaft in Bitsmount..."

The charred end neatly popped off the end and slid into the curved base.

"... and your father called me JP when I financed the expansion that turned it into the most productive silver mine in Equestria..."

He replaced the cigar in his mouth, took a slow puff, then pulled it back out again.

George remembered how Mr. Mustang had instructed him in proper cigar etiquette, as he gave a box of his favorite brand to each of his bodyguards on Hearth's Warming Day. 'Pull it out of your mouth between puffs. If the cap becomes wet then it'll get bitter.'

Looking the younger colt right in the eye, Mr. Mustang made his pronouncement. "... You've done nothing."

That obviously wasn’t just an indictment of Galloway's business acumen. Everypony knew he spent all his time throwing wild parties at his villa. The scandalous photos from said events practically had their own section in 'Canterlot Match.' Galloway Bitsmount sneered like a wet cigar-cap, but he kept his gob shut.

Beside him, his bodyguard snuck a hoof up to wipe the sweat from her brow. She had a nice flank, though, and Galloway had her in a get-up that was like a cross between a pirate wench and a Prench maid's uniform. Really showed off her plot-lines.

Maybe if Mr. Mustang didn’t go ballistic on that upstart, he could take her out for a drink afterwards. He bet she had some stories to tell about his parties. Maybe she was even the partying type herself.

‘Heck, if Mr. Mustang does go ballistic and things go South, then she’d really need a shot of cider afterwards, heh.’

Finally, Bitsmount stopped his pacing in front of the financier's desk, grit his teeth, and tossed himself into a chair. Zerofear's Boss just sat silently, smoked his cigar as he waited for the younger colt to burn out his embers.

Galloway looked around the luxurious study in the Royal Suite of the Triumph Hotel, as if the paintings on the walls or the gold-trimmed book-cases were going to tell him what to do.

Maybe they did, because he caught his breath, licked his lips, and brushed one hoof through his mane. When he opened his mouth, he spoke slowly and respectfully, but his self-restraint was obviously being stretched to its limit.

"Mr. Mustang, I do apologize, but this 'Royal Engineer' is dragging my name through the mud!"

"You dragged it yourself, Galloway. He's just pointing out the tracks for everyone else."

‘Yowch.’ Talk about keeping a hoof-slap in your pocket.

George shot a glance over at Gustav, his drinking-buddy standing by the grandfather clock. He managed to sneak out a smirk to him.

Mr. Mustang put the cigar back in his mouth and opened the top-left drawer of his desk, revealing a card-file. "... But since you are a friend of my family, and since I still have investments in your mine, I'll tell you what you're gonna do..."

Pulling out a business card, he hoofed it over to Galloway Bitsmount. "... You're going to visit my lawyer, give him the writ, and hire him to represent you at Court. And while he's using every trick in his book to get you off the hook, you're going to go speak to the one pony in Equestria who can get you out of this, and convince them to help you."

Bitsmount scrunched up his face. "You want me to talk to Princess Celestia?"

Mr. Mustang arched his eyebrows and blinked. "Is that a joke, son? If you had the persuasive skills to sweet-talk Princess Celestia, then you probably wouldn't be in this mess in the first place."

Having learned his lesson from earlier, Galloway took the insult quietly, though he rolled his head and gnashed his teeth.

"... You're going to go talk to the Royal Engineer, of course."

That was too much for the young Bitsmount. "The Royal Engineer? Is that a joke? Why would he help me?"

Mr. Mustang took a puff and dismissively exhaled the smoke through his nostrils. "Because you're going to convince him that you're just an ignorant fool who wasn't paying attention to the goings-on at his mine, rather than a scoundrel who deliberately put his workponies in danger for his own profit."

Bitsmount flung one hoof in the air, dismissively, and spat out a sarcastic retort. "And how am I going to do that?"

His cigar finished, Zerofear's Boss put it out in the ashtray. Beside him, Bitsmount's battle-maid discreetly tugged down on where her uniform was riding up her plot a little too high for decency.

‘Did she catch me reading the inside of her dust-cover?’

"Maybe you've been spending too much time hosting parties up at your father's mansion, that you've forgotten how things worked around here..."

Placing his hooves together on the desk and leaning in for emphasis, J. P. Mustang seemed to loom over the smaller pony.

"... You made a mistake, but nopony died or even got seriously hurt. In today's Equestria, those sorts of mistakes get resolved with some mutual tears, a big group hug, and maybe a song about how sorry you are, how your eyes are open now, and how you won't do it ever again..."

Leaning back again, he put one hoof up to his moustache and brushed it softly. "... All you have to do is show contrition. The Royal Engineer wants to make an example out of you; well, a remorseful example is better than a defiant one. So, give him what he wants and you can get back to your banqueting and carousing."

Bitsmount growled. "Can't you just get rid of him? Didn't you help put that hairless monkey into this position?"

Mr. Mustang licked the inside of his lips, like he was still savoring the last cigar. He was probably considering lighting up another one.

"I helped, yes. But I can't get him kicked out now, even if I wanted to. Do you know why Princess Celestia made him Royal Engineer?"

Galloway gave a quick shake of his head, still sneering and staring at his financier as he gave a one word reply.

"No."

"That's because nopony does, outside of just the eight ponies and one 'hairless monkey' who sat down in the Blue Chamber almost nine months ago. And as much as I hear about what the Privy Council discusses, I've never had a satisfactory answer to that question."

Galloway Bitsmount sprung back to his hooves, rearing his forehooves up in the air in anger. "That's absurd! We raised some alien to a high position just like that, no questions asked?"

Despite the outburst, Zerofear’s boss remained calm and collected. Ducking over to one side, he opened a drawer and pulled out a fresh cigar, giving it a long sniff while Bitsmount just stood there like an idiot.

George glanced down at Galloway's guardsmare. She wasn’t sweating quite so much anymore.

But there was a rosy tint on her teal cheeks. He started to grin as his boss continued his lecture.

"Questions were asked. When Anonymous was first presented at Day Court, he gave a brief summary of what he'd like to bring to Equestria, seeing as how he found himself here with no way home. Princess Celestia asked him a few questions, and she must have liked what she heard, because she asked him to come back in a few days with a longer presentation for a formal assembly to judge."

Sitting upright, Zerofear’s boss dipped the cigar-cap in a small glass snifter of brandy to moisten it. "... He came back and impressed everypony, myself included. She'd asked me to come, since I make investments in the sort of things he was talking about."

Bending forward, Mr. Mustang put the head of his cigar in the end of a small, gold-plated guillotine on his desk, and pressed down to chop it off with a quiet 'snick'. "...Her Royal Majesty kept peppering him with questions, and you could tell he was a bit nervous, but he held up. Her Majesty asked me what I thought, and I said I was convinced enough to want to invest in him. So she asked him to take another week and come back with another presentation going into even more detail, but this time it would just be to herself, Princess Luna, and the rest of the Privy Council."

Bitsmount lay his forehooves on the desk, and bent forward. "She even dragged her sister out of bed for that ape?!"

Zerofear's Boss paid no attention to him and casually lit his cigar with a bulbous, marble-bodied table-lighter.

George wasn’t sure why Bitsmount even bothered asking that question. Whenever Princess Celestia asked Princess Luna to be present for something during day court, the exact same rumors would go flying around. The most common was that she was just trying to get Princess Luna more involved in the day-to-day workings of the Court, so that maybe Celestia could take a day off now and then. More conspiratorially, some suggested that she would ask her sister to read somepony's dreams and then act as a truth-sayer.The last was that she just wanted a second opinion, and she had deep trust in her sister. It didn’t matter what the situation was; it was the same three rumors every time.

But as far as anypony actually knew, it might as well be all three. The same rumors even set tongues wagging all the way over in Manehattan, where Mr. Mustang normally resided.

"They spent all day locked up in the Blue Chamber, in private without any guards. I know that Princess Celestia spent a lot of time asking questions, and Anonymous must have given Her Royal Majesty some good answers, because at the end of it they all came out proclaiming that a new seat would be added to the Blue Chamber, and that he would be Equestria's new Royal Engineer."

Bitsmount's guard glanced up at George and made the slightest bump motion from her hips, as if she was just adjusting her posture. But all it really did was jiggle her plot around. ‘Oh, this little paperback is giving me the naughty-eye, alright.’

Mr. Mustang pulled the cigar out of his mouth, blowing smoke up towards the ceiling. "... So, no. If I wanted him removed, which I don't particularly want at the moment, it would take quite a lot of work. Which means you've got to go to him, act respectful, apologize, beg his forgiveness, and take every scrap of advice he offers you like it's the very word of Her Majesty Herself."

Bitsmount turned around with a laugh, and started to pace in a circle around his chair. "Hah! Take his advice like I took it yesterday?"

Stopping behind his chair, he hooked his hooves on the back. "... That bastard 'suggested' that I avoid Newstirrup bridge on my way in to Canterlot today. So I had my driver take an extra hour and divert to Oldstirrup bridge, only to find what?" He flung one hoof to the side. "... Some bloody guardsponies had declared a 'Pas de Sabots' and were holding up anypony with noble credentials. So of course, I had to turn around again, and wasted another hour for my trouble. I think he did it on purpose, sending me to Oldstirrup bridge to get ambushed! Maybe he even had a deal going on with those guards to humiliate me even more!"

Behind the desk, Mr. Mustang was enjoying his second cigar of the evening far too much to give two clops about this 'Pas de Sabots' nonsense Galloway was spewing.

‘Heh, and speaking of clop...’ Zerofear took a moment to enjoy the sight of Galloway's bodyguard once more.

"I don't know what that was about, Galloway, but I suggest you put it behind you. You asked for my help, and I've done what I can for now."

Bitsmount nodded his head sarcastically. "And what a fat lot of good it does me. Well, thanks 'Mr. Mustang', but from over here it sure looks like I'm on my own for this one." Still in a snit, he turned around and made for the door.

With his cigar back in his mouth, J. P. Mustang called out after him. "Don't do anything foolish, Galloway, or you'll just make things worse for yourself. Get a lawyer and do what they tell you to -- it'll be the same things I just said."

Bitsmount just waved a hoof dismissively as he stormed George’s way. Instantly, he pushed open one of the double-doors while Galloway’s own guardsmare opened the other. The wealthy young spendthrift just brushed straight past them and made for the coat-rack and hat-stand by the entry doors.

As the two of them went to follow after him, she leaned over and whispered. "I get off at ten."

Straight to the point; he liked that. Names could always come later. With a smile on his face, he whispered back. "Servant's entrance at ten-fifteen."

She gave a flirtatious smile and then trotted off to escort her employer back to his own suite, leaving George to close the doors behind them.

It was always a good time when Mr. Mustang traveled to Canterlot. The mares around here really did run loose in their tack.

Next Chapter: Chapter 21 Estimated time remaining: 34 Hours, 8 Minutes