Lily Glamerspear

---

‘I can't catch a break tonight.’

No sooner had Lily Glamerspear’s group arrived at the Gala than they were accosted by Honour's hilariously overenthusiastic father. And no sooner had he left than they’d all had to flee outside, skipping Their Majesties' receiving line, to avoid a repeat.

Then Honour had split off, and that was the first departure from their Gala squad. Later, just when things were getting spicy from ribbing their Very Important Pony (who wasn't actually a pony) about his tastes in actual female ponies, Eb's mother had shown up to spoil the festive mood.

The next departure came when Artemis and Anonymous peeled off as a two-pone fireteam to prepare for the Lipizzaner dance. That had actually been a good enough show, Lily supposed, and she had to admit to some mischievously smug satisfaction at the little eavesdropping job she’d pulled afterwards. But when their crew was finally gathered back together, and when she’d gotten her hooves on some grub, and when she was really, actually starting to enjoy herself and settle into party mode, Purity had pointed out that Artemis and Honour seemed to have disappeared from the buffet line.

With cheeks bulging with a mouthful of delicious 'Foin Cordon Bleu,' Lily had looked up and around incredulously. But as far as either the unicorn or the Royal Engineer could see, she was right -- they were gone. With Leeward Bound and Carmen Ebonshield both roving around the Gala -- along with who knows who else -- their disappearance was concerning. Enough so for the sergeant to suggest that they should go looking for them, and everyone had agreed. They quickly came up with a plan: Lily and Ebonshield would search the area, while Anonymous stayed back at the table to hold their seats and to await the missing members of their crew in case they returned on their own.

Lily had felt a bit gung-ho, eager to save her comrades from certain peril.

Some of that was definitely the rum punch talking.

Having scoured the buffet line as well as the immediate dining room, yet coming up empty-hooved -- and Artemis was not a small pony, plus Purity could perform recon from height -- Lily was starting to wish she hadn't gotten up from the dinner table at all. Yeah, maybe their missing two comrades were in 'certain peril' and she’d be able to ride in with her fellow quaternion members to turn the tables on whoever had waylaid them.

Or, y'know, maybe they'd just gone to hit up the little fillies' room.

Purity apparently had the same thought, landing next to Lily after she’d finished a quick flap-through of the dining hall annex. "I wonder if perhaps they have gone to the lavatory? I could check."

Lily nodded. "Sure, I mean, I dunno where else they would've gone. There's guards at the doors, it's not like they got clubbed over the head and abducted in sacks." The aforementioned scenario played out in Lily’s head, and she furrowed her brow. "...Plus, I don't think either of 'em would even go down in one hit. So if there really was a scuffle, there'd have been a real commotion."

Eb shrugged. "I agree, of course. Although, I note that the Lunars have many subtle means available to them. Still, I hope that no calamity has befallen our comrades."

Lily pointed a hoof in the direction of the nearest servant -- a bus-colt with a white apron hastily clearing a dining table to make it ready for the next set of guests who might want to sit down. "Yeah. I got no idea where the restrooms are around here, so you'd better ask somepony like him. For myself, I'll trot around one more time for good measure and see you back at the table. Hopefully one of us finds 'em, or we'll find them waiting for us there with Anon."

With a reassuring smile, but her eyes curiously already focused on her destination, the batpony trotted off towards the bus-colt.

The very young, fairly handsome bus-colt. And was Eb deliberately swaying her hips by putting one hoof directly in front of the other?

‘Hoo, foal.’

Hopefully she’d remember to actually ask where the washrooms are, instead of just hitting on the young palace servant.

Lily left her middle-aged, colt-slaying, cradle-robbing, libertine, master-of-assassins quaternion-mate to do her thing and turn back towards the buffet and main dining hall.

‘They have to be in here somewhere.’

Squinting, the unicorn scanned the crowds. Even though she was wearing an exquisite Louis Valise dress, part of her wished she had her highly unfashionable, but very useful, Martingale-Locksteed Mark III Air Defense Assisted Targeting helmet on. With the ceiling of this room being two floors tall, and with upper storey viewing balconies all around, the Mk. 3 ADAT's zoom lens would really come in handy in a situation like this. Even if it didn't go at all with her LV dress, or her hoofbag, or her mane-do, or her horseshoes.

...Eh, that last one, actually...

Lily did suppose that some actual military equipment might go well with 'Gladiator' style sandals.

‘Ancient soldiers wore something like these, didn't they?’

As Lily absent-mindedly looked around, a group of swarthy-looking nautical stallions came swaggering by. More than a few of them spared a glance and approving smile in her direction, and she couldn’t help but smirk and wink back. "Hello, sailors."

It came out as barely anything but a whisper, but, ‘buck, mare what are you doing?!’

After everything that went wrong with Mailedhoof, rolling in the hay with some merchant mariner was definitely not what Lily needed right now.

‘Although…’

One of the few unicorn colts in the pack swished his tail in her direction, before tossing back his mane.

‘Mmf.’

She could see from the trace of blue light from his horn that he was helping to telekinetically carry a passed-out comrade amongst his own.

A case of too much rum, probably.

Unlike a ship's grog ration, the liquor dispensaries of Their Majesties' Palace of Canterlot did not water down the drinks.

‘But that stallion helping cart off the drunk though…’

‘Mmmm-mmm, yeah.’

She could definitely watch that well groomed tail go flappity-flap while the firm hindquarters it was attached to went slappity-sl--

"Good evening, Specialist Glamerspear."

‘Buck!’

Caught 'mirin, Lily went stiff as a board when she heard Montgomery Mailedhoof's baritone voice speaking almost straight into her ear. Ponies she did not expect to run into during the Gala included Honour's dad, Carmen Ebonshield -- well, any batpony other than Purity, really -- and one Royal Guard Captain Montgomery Mailedhoof. Wasn't his family supposed to be here with him? As public as he'd been with her in his professional entourage, there's no way he'd cross the line of rubbing his wife's muzzle in his infidelity.

Lily quickly glanced around nervously, only to find he was all alone, in a well-fitted, three-piece black frock coat with matching pants, a grey vest, and a rakishly-tied cravat. Despite him being solo, she figured she'd better start by playing innocent -- and by pretending that she was still his saltine, despite the impending termination of that soured-beyond-repair relationship.

"Good evening, Captain Mailedhoof..."

Turning her head, she found he really was uncomfortably close beside her. It was a position momentarily excusable given the crowd, but anypony watching the two of them would start to get suspicious. She didn't know whether or not she should reposition to avoid that suspicion, so Lily opted to roll with his lead for now.

"...How are you enjoying this year's Gala?"

He inhaled deeply through his nostrils, and his muzzle slowly trailed down the back of Lily’s neck, taking in her scent.

It sent a chill down her spine.

But she couldn't brush him off here and now -- well, not completely, anyways. Mailedhoof was the reason she was in that getup, after all.

After a moment, the old colt turned an eye back to her. "It has its ups and downs. Some of the crowd is certainly more pleasing to the eye than usual..."

‘That'd be me.’

"...But others are as unwelcome as they are unsightly."

‘Uh…’

He couldn’t be talking about his family, could he? Even through their brief but intense salt-lick/saltine relationship, he'd never actually trash-talked his wife. Lily had always thought of him as somepony who simply wanted more -- or more likely, who believed that they deserved more.

More than just monogamy, to be specific.

So who was he talking about? All the sailors strutting about like they owned the place? Lily could imagine they might get rowdy, and the way Honour's dad trotted off to settle an argument all but confirmed that hunch. But that didn't seem like enough to hate on them. What, did Mailedhoof lose big on last year's Army-Navy hoofball game or something?

Before she could further ponder that question, Mailedhoof answered it with one of his own. "... Who was that red-dressed bat-pony with the black hat that I saw you with just now?"

The way he seemed to almost spit out the word 'bat' made it crystal clear the kind of creature he considered 'unwelcome' and 'unsightly.' And Eb wasn't the only one of her kind at the Gala tonight...

Heck, she wasn't even the only Eb at the Gala tonight.

Lily didn't really know how to answer Mailedhoof; did Don't-Ask-Don't-Tell apply here?

Even if it did, did it matter?

And why the buck did he care who she was, especially if he's not a fan of batponies?

‘Whatever.’

Lily didn't really want to belabor the point with a colt that she was done with, so she just recited the perfunctory truth. "She's part of my quaternion. One of the Royal Engineer's bodyguards, posted by Her Majesty Princess Luna; he got us all tickets to attend."

Captain Mailedhoof snorted. "Ah, yes, our dear Princess of the Night and her loyal minions. Has she been on your assignment for long?"

"No, only two and a half weeks."

He didn’t need to be reminded that the whole tour of duty had only been a few days longer than that, or that Luna apparently wanted Purity in from the start.

"Terrible. I'm surprised she's lasted. Didn't you complain to your commanding officer?"

Lily realized she probably shouldn't tell him that by this point she’d been through thick and thin with Purity Ebonshield and that the unicorn treated her as she would any other Royal Guardspony.

Lucky for her, there was a truthful way out again. "Corporal Bound raised an objection, but it got nowhere."

"Mmm. Orders are orders..." To her surprise, Mailedhoof stepped forward, coming out in front of her, almost muzzle-to-muzzle. He looked her up and down -- and her blood started to boil when his gaze lingered on her Silver Ram.

She hadn't forgotten what he’d done, and how he’d forced her into it.

She hadn’t forgiven him, either.

What a shame that the Gala was no place for a murder, or even a good, solid beating. Even though he'd managed to overpower Lily with his telekinesis in her bedroom, if she could get in a first strike when he didn't expect it, maybe she could still take him down by herself...

As if to shut down the very idea, the captain shook his head with a stern expression on his face. "Well, my dear, I'm afraid you've been seen by my friends in the company of one of those creatures, and there've been questions asked. It's very awkward. I'm sorry you haven't got a choice in the matter; I assure you, neither do I. Of course, I'm very pleased you're here to admire at the Gala, but I simply can't take the risk of associating with their kind through you, so I'm here to tell you that we're through. I don't expect I'll see you again. Good-bye."

With that, he gave a curt nod and passed her by, striding off the way he came.

‘What…’

‘What the buck?!?’

‘WHAT THE BUCK?!?’

‘DID MAILEDHOOF JUST DUMP ME BEFORE I COULD DUMP HIM?!?

‘THAT BASTARD!!’

‘and…’

‘and all because of EBONSHIELD?!?!?!?!’

‘WHAT kind of snobbish, inbred, blue-blooded, hawkesville-jawed, bucking Sol-Invictus-worshipping, unicorn-supremacist, plothole racist would-’

Lily caught herself, and remembered what she’d first thought of the 'sergeant.' Not badly enough to up and quit or start anything right then and there, but certainly enough to hold Eb in the highest suspicion. Sure, Lily had been manaburning at the time, but she couldn't blame that for the entirety of her prejudice. After all, she hadn’t come up with the stories of batponies all being a bunch of fang-toothed, blood-sucking, soul-stealing, foal-napping, nocturnal villains. Nor had anything or anypony forced her to keep them in the back of her mind to pull out in case she saw one of the 'beasts.'

Still, to dump her as a saltine because she happened to work with a batpony?

That was beyond the pale.

‘Hmm.’

Then again, maybe his friends had had friends in the Watchtower; ponies who’d lost their lives during the secret invasion that nopony was supposed to talk about.

...But, even Major-General Hoofstrong hadn't been against working with a batpony, and she had been in command of the fortress during that assault.

No, this must’ve been plain old, regular, garden-variety Canterlot unicorn snobbery. His horned peers had seen his squeeze with a batpony, and it was as good as if she’d been caught literally rolling in the mud like a pig.

Worse, actually -- they would've had a laugh out of seeing her in the dirt.

As a pretty young mare who knew how to dress, and especially with her tale of defeating upstart non-noble Kilfeather, she’d been an asset in his social circles. Now, with her association with Purity Ebonshield and the rest of her Moon-born race, she was a liability. So, just like that, he'd dropped her like a hot potato, without even a kiss goodbye. Lily bet Mailedhoof didn’t even really hate batponies, because she couldn't imagine Mailedhoof actually giving a buck about anypony who wasn’t a noble-born unicorn like himself.

‘Well…’

In terms of her wanting to break up with the captain, she supposed this did neatly accomplish that.

She’d just... pictured herself on top for the encounter. There was a dream that he'd be disappointed -- maybe even apologetic.

"No, please don't go, Lily! I can't go on living without your brilliant conversation, roguish grin, and impeccable bearing! Who else can I take to the officers' lounge to show off on my foreleg? And who else can I find who will possibly look that good in a Louis Valise original?"

‘Mmm, that wasn't quite right.’

"No, please don't go, Lily! I can't go on living without your firm plot, tight snatch, and dexterous tongue! Who else can I take to the officers' lounge to show off on my foreleg? And how else will I have my balls drained when they become ever so full and laden?"

‘Yeah, that's more likely.’

‘...Ehh…’

Given that he was an arrogant, self-centered ass who could probably get just about any guardsmare he wanted, her dream was pretty unrealistic any way she looked at it. Maybe it was better that she avoided putting herself in the position of trying to end a relationship with somepony who had a lot more clout than she did. It could've turned into an ugly fight.

‘But, at least with a fight, even if I’d lost, there would have been some bucking VIOLENCE involved! And some Celestia-damned physical catharsis!’

As it was, this was all unbelievably unsatisfying. Lily felt like she’d just got blue-beaned without even the satisfaction of a titillating build-up.

...Which kinda described her last couple of encounters with Captain Mailedhoof, now that she thought about it.

Shaking her head, she tried to clear what just happened out of her mind.

‘Gotta focus on what's important: finding Honour.’

If she kept daydreaming about sailors or dominating ex-coltfriends, next thing she knew she’d have somepony else sneaking up on her, like Leeward, or Carmen. Swivelling her head around to quickly re-establish her bearings, Lily was pleasantly surprised to see three familiar ponies walking towards her.

Well, two familiar ponies: Artemis and Purity.

She mostly recognized the third as one Corporal Honour Bound, but what in Equestria had she done with her mane? ‘And is she actually smiling?’

Eb called out to her as they arrived. "Ah, Lily, come and see, I have found our camaradas after all!"

She nodded, still scrutinizing the corporal's mane-do -- and Lily noted she had a new tail-do to match, as well. She'd unbraided both of them and appeared to have had both hot-blown, too. Wavy and flowing and showy and glowing, her new hair now lived up to her racy outfit.

"Yeah, no kidding. Changed your mind about the braids after all, Honour?"

That quip didn’t even get her the faintest hint of a scowl, but their energetic pegasus comrade jumped in and answered before the earth pony could reply. "We had to pull the braids out, unfortunately. She needed a quick wash after getting into a fight outside -- there was blood stuck in her mane and on her coat."

Lily lifted an eyebrow. "No kidding, got into a scrap at the Gala? And didn't even think to invite the rest of us -- or at least me?"

In another surprise for the unicorn, the brown mare whinnied with amusement. "Heh, I didn't invite you because I was trying to put a stop to some violence, not escalate it." She nodded her head back towards a set of doors. "A bunch of sailors were about to have a scuffle outside when the Night Guard intervened, and the crews turned on them instead. Knowing what we do about batpony fighting, I figured it'd have turned into a bloodbath if we let them come to blows. So, Artemis and I inserted ourselves as targets instead. I knocked out the ringleader, while she took out his would-be backup."

Then she chuckled. "...I got some blood on me, like Artemis said, so we headed to the washroom to clean up. It's insane in there. Never mind a quiet servant at the door dispensing perfume and marely essentials like a fashionable club has, in the Gala's little fillies' room they have full-on blow-dry operators and stylists ready to administer a quick wash-and-trim."

Artemis's eyes bulged out a bit. "I couldn't believe how busy it was! Dozens of mares, just sitting in a washroom, talking and working on their manes and tails! Why, when there's a whole party out here to enjoy??"

Lily grinned. "Eh, if the lavatory's an event of its own, why not? And I guess it makes sense. It's a long night, ponies travel from far and wide, and even if guards like Honour's Sergeant Castlerook are posted to cut down on the unauthorized explorations, ponies do get up to things and need a way to get back in order. If the place is bumping now, I wouldn't be surprised if it gets even busier once the dance floor opens up."

Honour smirked. "I could believe that…" Then she glanced up at Sparkshower and then Ebonshield in turn. "... Anyways, I'm all done cracking hooves and heads now; could we get back to the dinner table?"

‘Don't have to ask me twice.’

"Yeah, sure thing."

But who was this well-groomed, zesty Changeling infiltrator and how had they managed to replace their frumpy-frowny corporal without anypony noticing the difference so far? And would they mind sticking around for a while? At least the rest of the evening?

Ah, but all of a sudden the familiar glower was back on her face. "Wait, where's Anonymous?"

Lily jerked a forehoof over her shoulder towards the main dining room. "Holding down the fort at our table with our now-cold dinner plates, why?"

Honour's look of concern turned to despair. "You left him all alone? After he talked about not wanting to be abandoned at the Gala?"

Artemis gasped, slapping both forehooves against her muzzle. "Oh, no! That's right!"

Snorting dismissively, Lily turned to head back. "Ah, come on, he was only joking. Besides, we've only been gone a few minutes; just long enough to look around a bit to find you two, and heading back to him whether we found you or not."

Apparently that wasn’t good enough, as Honour actually pushed past her, taking the lead. Unsurprisingly, second place was quickly occupied by Sparkshower, who flapped overhead to trail right behind the corporal. Lily and Purity realized they might as well follow at the faster pace the two of them were setting.

Not that Lily expected there was anything to be concerned about. How hard could it be to sit at a round table and keep four other seats empty for a quarter of an hour?

As she finally made it around a large crowd that was blocking the view of their seats, Lily was thoroughly unsurprised to see the Royal Engineer still sitting down in the same chair he was in when she left him.

"See, he's fine. No problem being left alone."

It was Artemis who answered, landing in front of her. "He's not alone." Her tone was a bit cold.

Ah, there was a mare speaking to him -- sitting on her haunches behind one of the chairs, rather than on it. A purple unicorn in a bustled blue dress, from what Lily could see. The pegasus emitted a quiet grumble which grew in volume when she saw Anonymous tilt his head back in laughter.

But it disappeared once he noticed their approach, and he got to his feet with a smile. "Ah, here's my companions now, actually."

The unidentified unicorn rose up on her hooves, and that's when Lily noticed she was actually no mere unicorn -- she had feathered wings at her sides, too. While Lily was processing the presence of this alicorn from out of nowhere, the Royal Engineer looked her group over. "... I hope everything's all right?"

Honour stepped up towards the table. "All fine; I just had to freshen up."

Anonymous turned down towards the purple pony -- who must be some kind of royalty, Lily realized, for her to be walking around with horns and wings at the same time. "Oh, good. I was just telling Princess Twilight Sparkle that we've gotten into such a number of unbelievable adventures together already, I was concerned another one was about to begin. But I guess since you're all back safe and sound we can put our next perilous undertaking for another day."

‘Geez, a Princess; guess I ought to bow?’

She was regular-size, though, not big and tall like Their Majesties. Well, at least a curtsy would be polite -- any noble would appreciate that.

But before Lily could even begin, Princess Whatshername telekinetically pulled out a scroll from a case on the belt around her dress. With a quill retrieved from the same location, she quickly scribbled something on the paper, then tucked her pen away. "I'm happy to hear it! Well, as I said, I saw an unfamiliar creature looking a little lonely at this table here, and thought -- we can't have any loneliness at the Grand Galloping Gala, it wouldn't be right! But I've got a long list of things I need to do if I'm going to officially take over planning and running next year's Gala, and I've got to get back to it. I'm sure we'll speak again, Lord Anonymous."

Anonymous bowed as she withdrew. "By all means, your Highness; anytime you are in Canterlot Palace, please drop by my office."

The four of them gave proper signs of respect to the cheerfully busy purple alicorn before taking their seats at the table once more. The food was a little colder now, but Lily didn't doubt it’d still be good. Anyways they could always get up and grab some more -- the buffet line was looking a little less busy now.

Anonymous looked happy, and so did Purity.

But Honour and Artemis both seemed concerned.

The pegasus' attitude, Lily understood -- after all, the Princess was unescorted, as far as she could tell.

But had Honour lapsed back into dourness?

And what was Anonymous' take on the whole thing?

‘Let's shake this tree of mystery a little and see what falls out.’

"So, we leave you alone for a few minutes, and you're already chatting up a Princess, huh? Guess maybe Lieutenant Kilfeather was right about the Gala being hookup central after all."

He just laughed off Lily’s comment. "Oh, that was nothing; we barely said two words to each other before you all got back." She couldn't help but notice his gaze drift towards the corporal. "...Decided on a different hairstyle for the rest of the evening, Honour?"

Suddenly in the spotlight, she turned her head down towards her plate, picking up her fork with a forehoof. "Uhh... Yes."

Reminded of the meal before him -- and before each of them -- the Royal Engineer picked up his own cutlery in response, as did everypony else at the table, but he was still looking Honour over.

"It looks good on you. I think it gives you a more... convivial appearance."

Honour almost choked on the food she'd just shoved into her mouth.

‘Can't take a compliment, huh?’

‘That's back to standard.’

Artemis spoke up, deflecting attention back towards herself. "That's right! And there's just something about that mane-style which always seems strange to me... When I was younger, the first time I saw a mare in braids was on a class trip to the old Prench fort of Trois-Rivières. One of the historical reenactors playing the medical nurse had a braid and would just constantly tug at it. I think she was a bit nervous about her performance..." Scooping up a heaping mouthful of 'Quiche Lothringen', she concluded. "I never saw you do that, Honour, but I always wondered why you wore your mane in braids -- it looks so much better this way."

The corporal sighed. "It's just easier to manage in braids. Although, to tell the full story..." She looked around the table. "... I used to wear my mane and tail like this all the time. Right up until my divorce."

Artemis gasped. "Oh, no. I'm sorry, Honour! You should have said something, we could have braided it up again."

But the earth pony just smiled as she shook her head, wavy mane following along. "No, no. It's alright like this for now. Like I said, I feel a lot better right now."

Anonymous reached for a bottle of champagne that'd been set in the middle of the table.

‘Well, hello, that's a tasty new addition since I got up to look for the wayward pair.’

"Shall we toast your good feelings and new style, then? A sommelier came by with this while you were all off, I asked him to leave it corked until you got back." Deftly unscrewing the retainer, he placed the bottle in his lap and pushed the cork off with his fingers.

POP

Wisps of vapor emerged from the mouth of the bottle for a moment, before he started to dole out the bubbly.

Honour took her filled flute but looked embarrassed. "Not my hair, please. We ought to salute something greater than that."

The Royal Engineer grinned. "All right. I'll keep it simple, though. Here's to a wonderful evening!"

Lily grinned. "I'll drink to that!"

"So will I!"

"Me too!"

"¡And I also!"

As everypony else lifted their glasses in agreement, before tipping back and drinking a sip of brut, Lily couldn't help but wonder what was going to happen next. There was still the Games, the Royal Engineer's 'foundry' project, her sessions with the batpony Eclipse...

And then there was tonight.

Now that she was officially single, Lily had no intention of leaving this Gala without seriously playing the field. And from what she had seen, this was just as target-rich an environment as everypony had always said it was. Glancing over at Purity and Artemis, tonight's other two players on the 'mares' team, she wondered how well they'd do.

Then Lily slyly looked over at Anonymous.

Would he pick up on Artemis' attempts at a pass?

Or would he instead go long, and see that purple princess again?

Or maybe there was something else in his cards?

Anything other than the first would hurt Artemis, sure, but then, Lily was just as sure she could find the pegasus a colt as well, if she struggled to find another on her own.

Anyways, single and looking at the Grand Galloping Gala, in a Louis Valise dress?

‘Yeah, this is going to be the best night ever.’

Lowering her drink, Lily found herself grinning from ear to ear as she leaned back in her seat.

---

Suggested interlude music: Terror Squad - 'Lean Back', featuring Fat Joe and Remy Ma [2004]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ajmI1P3r1w4

Next Chapter: Chapter 143 Estimated time remaining: 1 Hour, 54 Minutes