Everyday Life With Guardsmares
Chapter 133
Previous Chapter Next ChapterLily Glamerspear
Suggested background music: Academy of Ancient Music - 'Arrival of the Queen of Sheba', from Handel's 'Solomon'
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-TGKJ9MgCOQ
Specialist Lily Glamerspear was having fun. Which was surprising, given that her current activity had been suggested by the downbeat, unamused, level-headed, plain-palomino Corporal Bound.
Who'd have thought she'd be the one to find the perfect palace balcony from which to pony-watch the early arrivals to the Grand Galloping Gala? To see the dignitaries and nobleponies and general invitees pull up in their fancy carriages to the main drive, before they disembarked and slowly cantered up to the palace gates and into the garden paddock from a perch that not only had a good view, but was close enough to their quarters, and most importantly, was completely deserted?
"How'd you know about this place, Corporal?"
Honour nodded back towards the door behind them. "Looking through the index cards for material on the MXP Games in the palace library sent me here yesterday. I had to ask what the weird call number meant; apparently this is formerly a head servant's room, which was at some point repurposed into an annex of the main archives when one of the newer palace wings was built."
Sparkshower smiled, her visor creaking as she bobbed her head up and down. "Oh, that explains the balcony! I was wondering why a storage room full of bookshelves needed one."
With that question cleared up, the three of them resumed pony-watching. It was Saturday, just after three o'clock, and the three of them would be heading to the Gala in a couple of hours, when it was more fashionable to arrive.
Which meant Lily really shouldn't have been wearing her duty armor, as she presently was. But since there was only one washroom for the four of them, that kind of created a bottleneck. So, as the Royal Engineer had already given them the whole afternoon off to get ready, Honour proposed setting up a little queue: one pony would be in the quarters working on her mane, tail, makeup, outfit, and whatever else. Meanwhile, the other three would be out on the balcony of this room, conveniently located just at the end of the hall and up a single flight of stairs from their quarters, and entertaining themselves by watching the early arrivals and staying helpfully out of the way from the pony getting ready. The corporal also said that since seniority rules, that meant Sergeant Ebonshield got dressed first.
Lily shook her head as another carriage rolled up and disgorged a quartet of gala-goers in traditional outfits. "Why do they come so early? I mean, the palace is nice and all, and so's the garden, but what's the point of showing up two hours before things really get started? Their Majesties won't be there to receive them for another hour, and there's still servants setting up decorations and flowers, and there's just hardly anypony else around."
"And the hors d'oeuvres aren't even being served," Artemis apparently agreed. Lily swore she could hear the angry growl of an empty stomach reverberate from within Sparkshower's bronze plate after she spoke.
But the corporal merely pointed a forehoof at the unicorn. "You're the one with the fancy helmet, Glam. Zoom and enhance on the arrivals, their ride, and their porters. See all the mud on the wheels and underside? They wouldn't have gotten that coming from inside the city. These are guests who, for whatever reason, didn't stay in Canterlot last night. Some of them may not even be staying in the city tonight, either."
Tapping the side of her helmet, Lily lowered her zoom lens in place. She confirmed that Honour was right even as the corporal continued.
"Not everypony can find or afford a place to stay on such a busy weekend. Many nobleponies with manors in the countryside keep an apartment in the city, but many more don't, and high quality hotels fill up, even with higher special event rates. Traditionally, the Gala doors open two hours early for an afternoon tea service."
The hungry burble repeated itself from within its armored enclosure. "So there is food down there?"
Artemis, the poor mare, was so worried about fitting into her dress tonight that she practically starved herself at lunch; she barely finished her third helping.
Lily smirked. "Come on, Sparks. You can last a couple more hours. It's not like we've got to go for a hike in full armor this afternoon. You can stuff yourself after we've arrived."
Artemis inhaled sharply. "No. Not until after the Lipizzaner Waltz. It's supposed to be an elegant dance; I wouldn't want to feel bloated."
The unicorn narrowed her eyes. "You're worried? You've practiced it every day this week, it feels like. Anon's got the moves down pat, doesn't he?"
The pegasus shrugged, turning to Glamerspear with a smile. "It's just nerves. He knows the moves, and so do I. But they'll be taking photos, and I wouldn't want to embarrass myself."
Honour chimed in. "You'll be fine. Come on, here's another carriage pulling up. Take a look at the outfits."
"Oh, that's a pretty dress. And look at how she's done her mane! It's all up high!"
Lily tilted her head as she looked at the getup. "Myehh... I guess it works. Kinda old-fashioned."
The corporal whinnied. "The other kind of pony that shows up for afternoon tea at the Gala is the kind that isn't planning to stay too late, because they'd be worried about falling asleep. Look over the garden; it's mostly senior citizens. They're here to have some tea, greet the Princess of the Sun, have a few drinks hobnobbing with the other gentry, eat a nice dinner, watch the young bucks and does dance the waltz, slow-dance with their partner once or twice, and then head out as soon as the chamber orchestra retires in favor of a DJ and the grand ballroom switches from Rococo to Disco."
As Lily scanned the tea-garden, she again confirmed Honour’s statements. It really was mostly old ponies. Well-dressed old ponies holding themselves as finely as they could, but still: mostly old ponies.
"For somepony reserved, you seem to know an awful lot about the Gala, Corporal."
"I was there last year."
That shocking revelation got an instant head-turn from both Glamerspear and Sparkshower.
But Honour hoof-waved off their excitement. "As a bodyguard. It was my first VIP assignment, a foreign dignitary staying here in the palace. I only got to be in the Gala guards' room, not the main party area. We still had a good time, though. Good food, comfortable seating, decent DJ, and our own little dance floor. The drinks don't flow quite so freely there -- they don't want anypony's escort leaving completely hammered, but the bartenders let you get pretty buzzed."
‘Huh.’
Was that why she didn't jockey to get assigned to the Royal Engineer on the night of the Gala, as Lily had before he invited them to come as his full guests, instead of his bodyguards? Because she'd already been?
‘Seems like she really has gone everywhere and done everything.’
‘Except the Moon, heh.’
‘I gotta get this mare up there; maybe she'll actually be excited for once.’
Sparkshower piped up with a poignant question. "Was this the same assignment you had during the Changeling invasion?"
"Yes. That was only three weeks after the Gala."
"So, then it wasn't because of the invasion that you got to go to the big party."
"No, I got to go because I was that VIP's only escort. He was a young noble from a minor house in a region bordering the Crystal Empire, here to represent his family in fealty to Equestria. He wasn't on the wedding invite list. When the Changelings hit, I hustled him into his bathroom and barricaded him inside, fending off a group of three attackers before things got under control."
‘Nice.’
"Since you saved his plot from Changelings, I bet you have an open invitation to go up North and enjoy his family's hospitality, then," Lily replied with a cheeky grin.
Honour nodded tightly. Clearly, there was more to that incident than she was letting on.
"Yeah, I do. I understand his family has done very well since the Crystal Empire showed up again. Not sure if or when I'll go. We don't get a lot of free time in this job."
‘A young noblecolt?’
‘Heroic young guardsmare saving him from hideous bug monsters?’
‘Slaying them before his eyes -- well, no, not that.’
But Lily bet she hadn't tidied up the corpses before he got out. Yeah, she might see herself as boring and brown, but with an action like that, the unicorn bet she made an impression. She’d seen Honour spar with the Royal Engineer, after all.
Lily smirked, secure in her computation that some further conspiracy must have happened.
Sparkshower eagerly asked another question. "They must have given you a medal for that, Corporal?"
But Honour just gave a one-word answer. "Yes."
‘Oh, come on, mare.’
Lily pressed on. "And?"
With a sigh, Honour spilled the details. "I got the Silver Star. It's not a big deal -- hundreds of other soldiers stationed in Canterlot got it that day as well."
‘Not a big deal!’
Yeah, okay, it was no Silver Ram, but even Silver Stars didn't just grow on trees.
Lily shook her head, chuckling. "Come on, Corporal. Down three Changelings, solo and taken by surprise in the palace? I'll own up to being a braggart, but you better own up to selling yourself way too short! And now that I think about it, Lieutenant Violetta never mentioned your Silver Star when introducing us all to the Royal Engineer! No wonder she didn't blink at my request to conceal my Silver Ram. You'd already asked for your own award to be hushed up."
Leaning on the guardrail, Glam poured on the ribbing. "And I bet that young crystal colt was all aflutter about his bloodied brown savior. I bet you've got more than just an open invitation to go up there. I bet you've got a noblecolt up in the mountains pining for a certain someone to be Northern Bound, heh. And I bet you have a ton more juicy details you could be spilling about this incident while we're up here on a balcony gossipping like a gaggle of hens."
Honour rolled her eyes. "You know, I suggested that we come up here and watch the arrivals instead of all hanging out in our quarters exactly so that we wouldn't wind up doing this."
Just then there was an answer from inside the room behind them. "And we are doing what, exactly, Caporal?"
They all turned around to face the voice. It was Sergeant Ebonshield, but she was as Lily had never seen her before. Her appearance even got a double eyebrow raise out of the corporal.
Their slim and athletic, dark-purple batpony comrade, whom they’d only ever seen wear a black bodysuit or a black cape, was now wearing a dress of crimson red which stood out in the darkened room, and brightened up further when she stepped out onto the balcony.
But it wasn’t just any old red dress.
The cut in the back was fashionably modern and short, reaching just above the hocks, yet it was what was going on up front that was really shocking. The red covered Ebonshield’s barrel all the way up to her neck, with a wide, shiny black belt to emphasize her trim waist, but then there was a large shawl of the same fabric positioned triangularly over her head, draping down her shoulders so far that it reached her front knees and extended just far enough back across her back as to just conceal her bat-wings, provided they remained folded.
That was pretty avant-garde, and what made it even more so were her accessories. She was wearing four boots, just as black and as shiny as her belt, and they went far up enough as to disappear under the dress in the back and the bottom of the shawl in the front. On her head she was wearing what looked to be something like a tall smoking cap, made of a shiny fabric and with an enormous black tassel dangling down on one side nearly as far as the triangular red shawl, with the red carnation Sparkshower picked up from the market pinned on the other side of the peak. All of the batpony’s mane was tucked under cap or shawl, though her tail still protruded normally. She'd accented her eyes with thick mascara and a light purple eyeshadow, exotically applied, as well as expressing her mouth with a dab of red lipstick.
For any pony, but particularly for one with a dark coat, it was a stunning look, more akin to a superstar pop diva than any kind of guard or noble. She’d stand out in the crowd like a beacon -- but that was the point of a Grand Galloping Gala dress, and Lily had to just sit back and applaud the boldness of the outfit and the tidiness of its execution.
Even Honour recognized what was before her. "Damn."
Sparkshower was so shocked, she was stuck in breathless-whisper mode. "Wow."
Since Lily’s comrades were struck speechless, she summarized for them. "You look amazing, Sergeant."
Ebonshield took the compliments in stride. "Thank you. Now that I am finished, I believe by order of seniority that you must be next, Caporal?"
Honour shook her head. "Save me for last. I don't want to stay in that dress with my plot hanging out any longer than I have to. Sparkshower, you go. You've got all that armor to take off anyways."
The pegasus began a generous protest. "Are you su-"
But the corporal was in no mood. "Go on, get!"
Suggested reading: 007.com "Focus Of The Week: May Day. A View To A Kill's stylish killer"
Purity Ebonshield
Sergeant Purity Ebonshield was pleased that her dress had been received so well by her comrades. The occasions on which she’d been required to wear the clothing 'elegant' had been few and far between. So much so, that when the Engineer Royal took them all out for dinner and drinks on Tuesday, she had had nothing to wear besides her black bodysuit; little more than an undergarment.
Which was not unsuccessful, given the attention paid to her in the club by several young colts, but still -- her comrades were much more finely dressed, with their 'uniforms of service' from the Equestrian Guardia Real. She was looking forward to seeing what they had chosen to wear to the Gala. Whereas Purity had put herself at the mercy of what the Rock-phase in the Rookery thought of fashion, the three of them were able to rely upon the extensive costuming selection offered in the city of Canterlot.
Perhaps she could have, as well.
But part of her was worried that the colors would not go well -- since the Equestrian ponies were so much lighter than her kin. And part of her was also prideful and wishing to show that the Children of the Stars were not all daggers and murder and dark tunnels and scheming mothers. She thought the Rocks of the Cloth had done a job most excellent in producing this unique dress; there was great gratification in finding out that the others thought so as well.
And the Engineer Royal, what would he think of her dress of red and her boots and fez of black? Would he be as shocked and happy as he was to see the daggers of plain steel? That mystery remained to be uncovered, as did his choice of lapel flower, a question which the Specialist Sparkshower raised this morning, only to be asked to procure for him one rosette each of pink, red, white, and blue. He said he would make his decision which to wear later in the day, which had sent her comrades into a titter of the speculation as to what such a statement could mean. But all that seemed to have been forgotten after a meal and a short sleep.
"Well. This is a view most pleasant. I hope that everyone is as refreshed from the siesta -- the rest after lunch -- as I am."
The Specialist Glamerspear shrugged. "Sure. Who doesn't like a good afternoon nap. More energy to party into the night, I say. Good thinking of our VIP to suggest it."
But the Corporal Bound furrowed her brow. "He actually called it a 'siesta' when he suggested it, didn't he? Sergeant, have you been teaching him the batpony language?"
‘Ah, she noticed this as well.’
"No, I have not. I was surprised also when he used this word. I do not recall it being spoken in the Grand Hall of Stars. Perhaps Carmen or some other Lunar used it in the Sanctuary Lunar?"
Honour shook her head. "No, they spoke perfect Equestrian to us the whole time. If you haven't been teaching him vocabulary, I can't imagine where he picked it up. Siesta just means rest?"
"Siesta is a nap taken in the afternoon. Curious that he should know this word; a mystery for later. Perhaps we will have some time to talk of such things during the Gala tonight."
Honour scoffed. "Maybe at dinner. Once the dance floor opens up the music gets pretty loud. If you thought it was hard to have a conversation in the nightclubs we went to on Tuesday, brace yourself for a new definition of loud tonight. Every amplifier and speaker in Canterlot gets hooked up to blow the roof off Their Majesties' Royal Ballroom."
‘Interesting. How does she know this?’
As if to answer the question unspoken, the Specialist Glamerspear leaned over around her to address Ebonshield. "Our Corporal here attended the Gala last year, y'see, Sergeant. Just in the guards' little separate paddock, but I guess they could hear what was going on in the main room."
The earth pony nodded. "Yeah. It got to the point where our DJ just had to play whatever the main room was playing, even halfway across the main building, because otherwise we'd get confused from hearing both."
‘Perhaps a set of earplugs would be a useful accessory.’
"But maybe they'll tone it down this year. I gather they were trying something a bit fresh last time to change things up, and maybe the experiment went too far. Even the tabloids complained afterwards the volume was ridiculous."
"Sounds like somepony in charge wanted to make a statement, y'know; put their hoofstamp on things. Or maybe the DJ just ran away with the volume knob."
"Maybe. Whatever."
Strange; she sounded almost unhappy to be attending this magnificent event annual?
The caporal was more enthusiastic about going to the nightclubs ordinary with the Engineer Royal.
"Corporal, are you not excited to wear the clothing elegant, eat the foods delicious, and meet the ponies extraordinary tonight?"
Honour turned slowly to Ebonshield, a pained expression on her face. "At the Gala? Sure, it's a fun party. I just don't see it being some kind of once-in-a-lifetime event."
Glamerspear whinnied. "Why, 'cause you've already been? Being caged up with a bunch of guards doesn't count! We'll be free-roam! Wander the garden, greet the Princesses, hang out with the upper crust!"
The brown pony laughed. "Glamerspear, we jog around the garden all the time now with the Royal Engineer. We greeted the Princesses last weekend when they watched us demo the Whirlwind; I even spoke to Her Majesty with just the Royal Engineer and Princess Luna present. And aren't you always 'hanging out' with the upper crust at the Officers' Club? What's going to happen at the Gala that we haven't done in the last three weeks?"
Unable to rebut her arguments, the pink unicorn scoffed and turned back towards the gardens and the arrivals, muttering under her breath. "You could get laid."
‘That was inconsiderate.’
Honour did not reply, and this was perhaps more effective in scolding the Specialist Glamerspear than any retort she could deliver.
"...I'm sorry, Corporal. That was mean. I shouldn't have said that. I've just..." The young unicorn sighed. "...Look, I don't wanna info-dump my problems, but something happened on Thursday and long story short, I'm through with Captain Mailedhoof and with being a saltine and I'm actually really looking forward to just going to a party without hanging off of someone else's foreleg working to look pretty, y'know?"
That pronouncement prompted a look of concern from both the caporal and sergeant. There was displeasure in learning that a tragedy had befallen a comrade and friend.
Honour looked over her subordinate, as if inspecting for wounds. "Did he-"
"We don't need to talk about it. Believe me. It was nothing permanent or... y'know, physical, in the way you're probably thinking. Every action he did was within the bounds of what could be considered acceptable for a saltine-and-salt-lick relationship. It was just the way he did it; his attitude and what he said."
There was a long pause while both the sergeant and the caporal waited for anything more. However, the unicorn remained silent.
Honour put a reassuring forehoof on the shoulder of Glamerspear. "All right. If you need to talk, I'm here for you. And… look, I am actually happy we're going to the Gala. I've just got some problems of my own I'm dealing with. Actually, I'd kinda hoped that the Royal Engineer would've asked us to show up early like these ponies we're watching now."
Glamerspear scrunched up her muzzle. "What? Why? I thought you said these were old fogeys coming from out of town. We're all young and we literally just have to walk outside to get to the Gala entrance doors."
The earth pony sighed. "There's somepony attending that I really don't want to meet. The porters announce every guest as they walk in; the earlier we go, the less likely this certain somepony is going to already be there to hear my name get called."
"This have anything to do with that Sergeant Castlerook colt? He's going to be on duty tonight, isn't he?"
"Yes, he's on duty, but no, this doesn't have anything to do with him."
‘How unfortunate that both of them have reasons to feel upset.’
Ebonshield decided to lighten the mood. "Do not worry, Corporal. If this somepony tries to assault you at the entrance, then your comrades and I will surely hold them off while you make your escape. And as for you, Specialista..." Leaning over and around Honour, the batpony grinned playfully at the unicorn. "...If this Capitan Mailedhoof troubles you further, the services of my Temple are available to you at a discount substantial, on account of friendship."
Glamerspear smiled back. "Heh. I'll let ya know, Sarge. I'm a little more over everything now two days later, especially having given some thought to where I want to go next, but y'know, I might've taken you up on your offer if we'd run into each other right after the event. And Mailedhoof is attending the Gala -- I'll point him out to you just in case."
"Of course. My blades are always at your service."
Just then there was a cry pleading from behind them. "Oh no, why are we now talking about blades on a beautiful day like this?"
The three of them turned to behold the Specialist Sparkshower, who in spite of being gone for what has seemed like hardly any time at all was nonetheless dressed for the Gala.
This fact was shocking to the Caporal. "Sparkshower, how in Tartarus did you yank off all that armor and get ready so fast? You weren't even gone for half an hour."
The young pegasus shrugged as she stepped out on the balcony to join them.
Ebonshield wasn’t sure if she could be an honest judge of the fashion Equestrian, but Artemis’ outfit struck her as perfectly matched for a pleasant spring day. She wore a blush-pink dress, conservatively long in the rear, made of tulle and lace, with pretty white shoes and a small white saddle-purse to match.
"I dunno, Corporal. I guess I'm just really excited to go to the Gala! And I didn't really need to do much with my mane since I already fluffed it this morning, and this dress fits like a glove -- thanks again, Glamerspear. So I'm all set! Who's next?"
Caporal Bound shoved Specialist Glamerspear towards the door, who protested the action. "Okay, okay, Corporal! I'm going! And I bet you want me to take my time, too, huh?"
"That's right. The Royal Engineer said we'll head in at quarter after five. I don't want to see you out here until it's at least four-thirty."
"Fine! I'll even take the time to trim my bangs."
Artemis Sparkshower
‘It sure is a lot chillier up here on this balcony in my light dress than it was in my bronze armor!’
‘This wind really cuts through tulle. Maybe I need an accessory like Sergeant Ebonshield's comfy-looking red headscarf.’
But then again, Specialist Artemis Sparkshower probably wouldn’t be doing much hanging around on third-storey balconies during the Gala.
"So, did I miss anypony important?"
Honour just sighed. "I don't know. We've barely been paying attention to the arrivals. Did you know Glamerspear had some explosion with Mailedhoof on Thursday? You two went to the Moon together that night, didn't you?"
‘Explosion?’
"We did go to the Moon together, but she didn't say anything about Mailedhoof. What happened?"
"She wouldn't say. You two seem pretty close; maybe she'll confide in you later."
"Maybe."
‘What could have happened?’
Lily said she'd felt sick when Artemis saw her, but otherwise she seemed fine. Upbeat, even.
Ebonshield leaned over, her tall black fez flopping sideways. "And then there is also the matter that Caporal Bound expects somepony to be at the Gala whom she does not wish to encounter."
"Oh, no! Who should we watch out for, Corporal? I can find and engage the target and Lily can help me suppress them. It'll be just like we're in the field!"
The sergeant grinned. "And perhaps I could lose a dagger in just the wrong neck while this is all going on?"
Honour rolled her eyes. "For Celestia's sakes. We don't need to ATTACK him."
Immediately, the batpony's grin grew wider. "¡Ay! So this somepony the Caporal fears is a colt? Somepony from the past, I think?"
Their senior NCO scowled at the crimson-attired purple batpony. "You're as rotten as Glamerspear, Sergeant."
‘Wait, am I trying to help the Corporal or am I trying to tease her?’
‘It seems like Purity is aiming for both.’
"...Look, just... Let's keep our entrance low-key, okay? And if we're together in a group and I duck out without saying a word, you'll know why."
Eb sat back, satisfied. "Bueno. But now I am most eager to see the Caporal Bound in the red dress which exposes the plot and in which she does not wish to be seen by this colt mysterious. And especially since there is another colt about whom she is fond who will be present at this Grand Galloping Gala." Nonchalantly, the batpony flexed her wings and adjusted her shawl. "I wonder if this other colt will enjoy seeing his beautiful caporal in her elegant dress which I am told brings out the dark brilliance of her eyes and emphasizes the sensual fullness of her hips."
‘Wow, it does?!’
Honour scrunched her muzzle something fierce. "Nopony told you that load of nonsense."
"True, but having not seen the outfit particular, I am simply being the poetic. Another technique of the Temple of the Shining Stellar Dancers, by the way."
Corporal Bound whinnied. "Poetry and gymnastics and esoteric philosophy; never mind assassinations, you really should open up a second-floor studio in Manehattan. You could make a killing telling officeponies how to re-balance their lives."
She was being sarcastic, but surely she didn’t think her dress wasn’t pretty, did she? Not that Artemis had seen it -- but Glamerspear helped the pegasus pick hers out, and it was beautiful, and so was Lily’s, so surely Honour's must be great, too!
And didn't they bring the Royal Engineer along to help pick a dress as well?
"The Royal Engineer was with you when you went shopping with Lily, wasn't he? Did he have anything to say about it during your test fitting?"
Artemis saw patches of red start to form on Honour’s brown cheeks.
"He said..."
She swallowed.
"...He said I looked good in it. That it complimented my colors. And that it made me look ready for dancing."
‘There you go!’
"And I'm sure Lily wouldn't have suggested it for you if you didn't look great in it. After all, she did a good job helping me find my dress, didn't she?"
Both the sergeant and the corporal turned to the specialist, and the sergeant spoke first.
"Specialist, in that dress, you are the embodiment living of the colors of spring."
Honour nodded. "Yes, it's very pretty on you. You look fit to be attending a wedding."
‘Hurricanes!’
‘Surely she doesn't mean as the bride.’
"...I mean as a flower-mare or bridesmaid."
‘Oh, good.’
Artemis smiled warmly. "So if you're so uncomfortable with the idea of wearing it, Corporal, maybe you ought to head back to our quarters and put it on now? That'll give you time to get accustomed to it before we're in the crowd!"
Honour looked up at her begrudgingly, almost ashamedly.
Finally, she nodded and sighed. "All right. If Glam's cutting her hair then she's probably doing it in her chair rather than the bathroom. It's almost four o'clock now; you can see some ponies heading inside to greet the Princesses. I guess at this point you two might as well go downstairs and see how the Royal Engineer's getting on. Glam and I will join you when we're done, and then we can head out whenever our VIP wants to."
‘Yay!’
‘This is going to be fun!’
‘Only an hour or so to go until we all get our chance to shine!’
Suggested interlude music: Booty Luv - 'Shine'
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0TWrWkiW7iE
