Everyday Life With Guardsmares
Chapter 129
Previous Chapter Next ChapterArtemis Sparkshower
Recommended background music: Andreas Waldetoft - 'Johans Waltz', from 'Victoria 2' [2010]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N69cQuAqgSg
"One, two, three, one, two-a-three, one, two, three, good!"
‘This is fun!’
"Now into the-"
"Whisk, and then un-twist, back-whisk-three, turn-two-three..."
Specialist Artemis Sparkshower narrated along with the Royal Engineer as he led the pegasus on her hind hooves around the stone patio just outside his chambers, one arm around her withers and the other holding her right forehoof out.
"Whisk-two-three, wing-two-three, chassé-and-three, lock-a-two-three, spin-two-three, lock-a-two-three, spin-two-three-four-five-six, turn-two-three, turn-two-three, sway."
"Whisk-two-three, wing-two-three, chassé-and-three, lock-a-two-three, spin-two-three, lock-a-two-three, spin-two-three-four-five-six, turn-two-three, turn-two-three, sway."
As the Royal Engineer held Artemis at this tilted angle, she was tempted to open her wings for a little balance and maybe give them a flap of support, but that was a real no-no when dancing a Lipizzaner Waltz. It would be a tremendous expression of distrust if she were to show any fear that her dance partner was about to let her fall right on her back.
Anonymous smiled as he pulled the pegasus up straight onto her hind hooves again, and as she released her left forehoof from his shoulder, he gently lowered his arms so that Artemis could easily get back down on all fours.
"Well, Specialist Sparkshower, I'm no professional dancer, but I think we're getting the hang of this particular sequence of steps."
She smiled right back. "Yes, sir, I think we are. Though, umm, it is strictly speaking your job as the colt to lead."
He dusted his hands together, then straightened his trousers. "I know. And I'll try to keep things memorized. But I won't mind if you have to correct me."
The Royal Engineer glanced over at the phonograph, which continued on with its scratchy reproduction of a processional waltz as performed by the Band of the Household Division, in combination with the Countess of The Pale's String Orchestra.
"Shall we run through it one or two more times?"
"As long as you have the time for it, sir."
Nodding, he stepped forward and extended a hand to make it easy for Artemis to mount up in a hind-hooves stance.
"Of course."
As the Royal Engineer drew her in, Artemis readopted the starting position, and he counted in the time before leading her once more through the arrangement. She already had the steps completely memorized, and on this run through her partner didn't miss a beat. It was funny, actually. Here was her Very Important Pony who, in spite of not actually being a pony, was doing an excellent job with basic dance hoofsteps. Of course, it helped that it was a Lipizzaner Waltz; a couples' closely-clutched dance done on hind legs only. And even though this was just a simple arrangement, there was something enthralling in being twirled about like this.
Artemis felt like a dainty light dancer instead of a great big soldier. Part of that was because even up on her hind hooves, Anonymous was still half a head taller than her. The other part was because he actually was making a real effort to glide around gracefully, as the dance demanded, instead of clumsily trotting about. Huckleberry was taller than Artemis too, but he danced like he had four hind hooves. And he never got the hang of it, no matter how many Friday-night bootie-hop events she’d taken him to in school or Saturday night jamborees at the barn. Even on a romantic, late night on Hearts and Hooves Day, he couldn't make Artemis feel like this.
To be fair, Huck could make her feel a lot of other things, but a graceful dancer wasn't one of them. And it was a shame, too, because if he'd put some effort into it, she was sure he could've risen to the challenge. But instead, he got flustered easily and then frustratingly declared he didn't want to try any more. He got embarrassed easily. And when she suggested private lessons, it was already too late. Even though he'd never given Artemis a straight answer, she knew in his heart he'd stubbornly decided, like so many other things, that dancing wasn't for him.
Anonymous looked at the pegasus as they completed the sequence. "I think we have enough track left for one more."
"Yes, sir."
With surprisingly powerful arms -- surprising for how slender they were, compared to the stocky limbs of an earth pony colt -- he adroitly lifted Artemis out of the sway and straightened them both up again. Then it was one-two-three, two-two-three and off they went again.
Here she was, dancing the Lipizzaner Waltz with the Royal Engineer on a patio in a back nook of one of the palace's older wings. Artemis’ VIP didn't have to fear anypony seeing if he made a mistake. And he had made a few, though nothing catastrophic. Skipping ahead in the sequence, going left when he should've gone right -- nothing serious. She wondered what would've happened with her and Huckleberry if he'd been given the same chance.
But that was over now.
Maybe one of the cute colts she met Tuesday night knew ballroom steps. Too bad she hadn't felt well enough to try out the club floor solo, or she could have picked up some clues. And too bad the Royal Engineer had been too engrossed chatting with Lily, Honour, and Purity to venture out onto the dance floor either.
Or maybe...
Was he worried about embarrassing himself, too?
As Artemis was once again lowered into a delicate sway, she took a moment to admire her VIP's new white-tie suit for the Gala. It really was a nice change from his usual morning dress, trading the restrained formality of a government minister for the swank elegance of a young patrician reveller.
Anonymous lifted her up again and she got back down on all fours. "Good, good. If you're not too tired later, let's run through this again a few more times in the evening."
Artemis couldn't imagine ever being too tired to be whisked daintily around on the dance floor by a handsome colt. "Yes, sir."
The Royal Engineer stepped over to turn off the phonograph, parking the needle and pulling the record off of the spindle. He replaced it in the dust jacket, turning it over to scan through the liner notes, and Artemis got another good look at his suit. She was no professional design consultant, but she thought it went very well with her tea-length pink dress. He just needed a good lapel flower to finish the outfit.
What color, though?
White was the traditional choice; a carnation or gardenia. But that seemed too ordinary for as very-important a not-pony as her VIP. Red, to go with his formal sash of office? Or maybe some other accent color: royal blue, as a nod to the evening's festivities, or imperial purple as a second indication of his high-placed status? Maybe a light color to brighten the mood? Pale violet or old gold, to match the colors of the main halls of the palace?
Perhaps pink? A bit mareish, but she was sure the Royal Engineer was enough of a colt not to be intimidated by pink.
And pink would match her dress.
As Anonymous looked up at Artemis from the liner notes, she suddenly felt very exposed. It was a bit like standing in an open field and hearing an ominous rumbling from the clouds above.
He seemed to be looking over her outfit. "You're certain we won't have to worry about bumping into anyone else?"
‘Tremendous relief; it's not raining quite yet.’
"Yes, sir. These are the official steps for the waltz at this year's Gala. Everypony will be doing it all at the same time, and the Masters of the Dance will run an instruction as well as a few practice sessions early in the evening, before dinner and the main event. They'll make sure to distance couples properly."
Artemis thought back to the wonderful pictures and the newsreel films of previous years. Elegant couples in the finest of dress, all gliding and twirling in unison. And this year she’d be a part of it! Maybe she'd even be in one of those photos or newsreels...
"It's a lot more produced than I realized."
‘Oh, no!’
"But it does sound like fun. I just worry a bit about standing out."
‘Oh!’
‘Well, that's understandable.’
"You mustn't be worried about that, sir. You'll fit right in with everypony else, I'm sure. If you want we could perform a practice for somepony in private, first."
He chuckled. "Oh, maybe. Saturday before we leave, perhaps, when I'm starting to get nervous and having butterflies in my stomach."
‘Humans ate butterflies too??’
Anonymous glanced over her outfit. "And that's what you're wearing to the Gala? No further alterations?"
Artemis proudly extended her wings in parade rest. "This is it, sir. Lily -- er, Specialist Glamerspear -- worked all morning yesterday putting the finishing touches on the wing openings."
He nodded, smiling. "It's lovely. I certainly wouldn't have known it wasn't originally made for a pegasus."
Oh, that sent warm tingles down her spine, and Artemis did a little curtsy-turnabout in place to show off in case he missed anything.
"But surely you'll have a corsage or fascinator as well? It's a spring festival, isn't it? I suppose I should have something for my lapel, too."
‘Ah!’
‘He's thinking along just the same lines!’
"Yes, sir, but the day of the Gala, Tallyho market square is completely flooded with flower-sellers hawking the freshest flowers for Gala-goers. One of your guards can go out to gather for everypony in the group."
Anon raised an eyebrow. "And there's no risk of the sellers running out?"
She shook her head. "No, sir. The stalls pack up at noon and everything that's left is bought by the palace majordomo as final decorations for the Gala. And since the palace pays market price as a nod to generosity, the flower-sellers always have a lot of leftovers. Dozens of wagon-loads."
"Sounds exciting. And fragrant. It must get very busy?" Placing the jacketed record under his arm, he picked up the phonograph and its folding stand.
Artemis headed over to the patio doors to open them for him. "It's packed shoulder-to-shoulder and tail-to-muzzle; I've seen photos in the news. Pegasi and unicorn porters and errand-foals are in high demand that morning, filling orders for all the Gala invitees."
Anonymous stepped past her and deposited the musical device beside his armor stand. "I can imagine. You and the rest of the quaternion should talk it over to decide who'll make the run. I'll just have to figure out what I want."
‘Don't-tell-him-to-get-pink, don't-tell-him-to-get-pink, don't-tell-him-to-get-pink.’
"A bright spring color would look nice on you, sir. Maybe pink?"
‘YOU TOLD HIM TO GET PINK!’
‘What’s gotten into you??’
As he removed his jacket and placed it on a hanger, he looked over at the pegasus inquisitively.
‘Does he know why I made that suggestion?’
Anonymous just smiled and nodded. "Maybe."
‘He knows!’
Oooh, for being not-a-pony, he sure could be coy like a romance-novel colt, all right.
The Royal Engineer made to go change out of his Gala suit back into his usual outfit, but something in Artemis pushed her on. There was a nagging question in the back of her mind.
"Could I ask you a personal question, sir?"
Without stopping, he passed through the switchback of the low partition wall separating his office and living quarters from his bedroom area. "Of course, Specialist."
She heard the sound of a hanger on a rod.
‘I really shouldn't be asking this.’
It was personal, it was private, it was forward, and in the context of dancing with him and suggesting he match his lapel to her dress, it could be seen as flirtatious. And what did Honour say about flirting with the Royal Engineer?
'Playtime is over.'
‘Thundershowers.’
Well, this wasn't play; she was genuinely curious.
"How come you didn't dance at all when we were out on Tuesday?"
There was no reply for a little bit, so she continued on.
"Were you worried about embarrassing yourself?"
Another silent pause.
Then her VIP emerged back out from the partition, wearing his morning-dress outfit, collar and cuffs and tie still undone, and with a subdued expression.
He sighed, nodding. "Yes. I haven't been out in public a lot."
Artemis furrowed her brow, stepping forward. "But, sir, you gave a magnificent speech to everypony on Monday! They were all impressed; even flying over them, I could tell."
Anonymous shrugged. "Demonstrating something I know well isn't as nerve-wracking. I didn't really go clubbing a lot on my world. I danced at weddings and birthday parties, sure, but that was among friends." Adjusting his collar and attaching his gold cuff-links, he stepped over to his desk. "Not to mention among other humans. Besides, Tuesday night was for you and the rest of the quaternion. Nobody else seemed too keen on dancing, either."
Probably because Lily couldn't get enough booze poured down her throat fast enough. And Honour -- she was sulking over her situation with her coltfriend, Artemis was sure. Ebonshield was happy to play along with whatever the group wanted.
Artemis was the only one who got up.
It was strange -- she’d felt drawn to the dance floor, but she didn't particularly want to dance. Something about the heat and the perspiration of all those young colts and mares dancing freely just made her feel so excited.
So alive.
With each club they’d visited, the pain of her recently-shattered relationship seemed to wash away. And she didn't shy away from any of the colts who'd introduced themselves. She had felt like she had to say she was waiting for somepony else to dance with first, or they'd have dragged her out on the floor, but that hadn't stopped them from inundating her with calling cards and offers of drinks if her date didn't show. Frankly it was a surprising and shocking experience -- with the way her large frame had been the object of ridicule growing up, she wasn't used to that kind of attention. Was it just attraction to the uniform, or was she actually radiating some alluring energy herself?
Whatever it was, it got so that eventually she had to find refuge from all the eager colts back at the private table the Royal Engineer had booked.
But him -- worried about being awkward? The way he always kept his cool, could wow a crowd of Royal Guard dignitaries, and could even slide around on a patio dance-floor?
Artemis shook her head. "I'm awfully sorry about that, sir. One of us should really have taken the first step and extended an invitation. I think you'd have had a great time on the dance floor. And with how quickly you've learned the Lipizzaner Waltz you shouldn't worry about being embarrassed at all."
Sitting down, he smiled warmly. "It's kind of you to say that. But you really don't think we'd have looked a little funny, an alien biped dancing with his four guardsmares?"
She straightened up immediately. "No, sir! And shame on anyone who would think otherwise! That's the motto of the VIP Section, after all: 'Honi Soit Qui Mal y Pense,' or 'Shame on Whoever Thinks Ill of It,' referring to the practice of providing visiting dignitaries and honored citizens with a retinue."
He cocked an eyebrow. "I see. Tell me, is the Gala all formal folk and ball dances, or will there be modern dancing such as we saw at the nightclubs as well?"
Artemis had never seen photographic evidence of modern dance at the Gala, but according to 'Canterlot Match' magazine, that's because the palace guards escorted the paparazzi off the premises before it started. Still, there were anonymously-written reports of the scandalous behaviour that could result when a party full of Equestria's drunken elite started dancing to modern hits queued up by some of the nation's finest DJs. And she’d also seen the scheduled events, posted up in the palace servants' mess.
Everything from 10 PM onwards just said 'music & dancing.'
"I believe so, sir. After dinner and the scheduled events."
"Good. I won't miss a second opportunity, then. I don't want to toot my own horn, but you know, even though I didn't dance often…" He grinned. "...I did have a reputation for tearing it up on the dance floor."
‘Tearing what up?’
It must just be some human expression; probably because of their fingers.
She just nodded as if she knew what he was talking about. "I'd like to see that, sir. Would it be all right if I go change back into my armor, now?"
Anonymous lifted a trio of sealed envelopes up from his desk. "Of course, but I was wondering if perhaps you'd be able to deliver a few letters for me this morning as part of your duties?"
She nodded and approached. "Certainly, sir."
Extending a feathery appendage, Artemis accepted the memos and tucked them underwing.
"The first one is for Henry Fortstable here in Canterlot. The second one is for the smith, Gunther Bronzehorn, out in Newcastle-Upon-Mare. Both ask if they'd be willing to send someone to join our 'ground crew' for the Grand Mêlée, as Lieutenant Kilfeather suggested -- Fortstable's coach builders for the carriage and Bronzehorn for our arms and armor, naturally. I know it's a long flight out to Newcastle-Upon-Mare, but I figured that perhaps you could make short work of it with that rocket-lance of yours?"
She gave a quick salute, despite being completely out of uniform. "Yes, sir. It's not meant for endurance journeys, but it will certainly speed up my travel time. And the third letter, sir?"
With his elbows on the desk, he placed his fingers together. "That one's not about the games. I want some magic support when it comes to the foundry; a lot of early industrial processes are very dirty to run without complicated equipment which is beyond our ability to manufacture, and that's just the sort of thing that unicorn magic could perhaps help out with. This fellow was recommended to me by Purse Strings. He runs a company that, I gather, has a number of government contracts already: a unicorn colt by the name of Martingale."
That didn’t really ring any bells, but then again, Artemis didn't know much about government procurement contracts.
"Anyways, his residence is in Canterlot and while I know the regular mail service here is startlingly quick, I figured that perhaps delivery by a messenger-bodyguard would be an extra special touch and impress upon him the seriousness of this undertaking. Even if he's not at home when you arrive."
‘That's a good idea.’
"Yes, sir. Don't worry, sir. I'll go change into my armor and have these delivered so fast I'll be back before lunchtime!"
Her VIP leaned back in his chair, content. "Thank you, Specialist. Mister Songwell should be along shortly to give his daily report, and I know how the Corporal gets if I'm unescorted down here. I wouldn't mind commiserating with someone on the capabilities of unicorn magic; I suppose Specialist Glamerspear would be the most experienced in that respect?" He shrugged. "Or maybe Corporal Bound is. She seems to know everything about how things work around here. Ask for them both if neither of them is otherwise occupied. I've got most of my paperwork finished for now, and there are options to explore, so I'm in a chatty mood."
"Yes, sir."
With another quick out-of-reg salute, Artemis swished her tail and her tulle dress right out the door, making quickly for the stairs. Unfortunately she couldn't fly without losing his letters, and she had no purse or saddle-bags to put them in right now, either.
‘Do I have a matching purse for the Gala?’
She hadn’t thought about that. Not that she was going to have to worry about a wallet, but there were small items that she’d want to be able to carry. Hairbrush, comb, wingbrush, touch-up makeup, those sorts of things. Maybe Lily had something in her extensive wardrobe she could borrow.
As Artemis wondered about the finishing touches on her Gala outfit, she pushed open the door to their shared chambers and was surprised to see only Lily, lounging on the sofa, forelegs behind her head and a gossip magazine held in her telekinetic grip.
She looked up at Artemis, lifting her eyebrows as if scandalized. "Showing off the goods to the Royal Engineer, huh? What'd he think?"
"He said the dress was lovely. But actually I put it on so we could practice the Lipizzaner Waltz steps; he put on his Gala suit too."
Lily grinned and lifted an eyebrow. "Oh yeah? The Corporal said it was pretty ritzy."
Artemis nodded. "It is. Where is she, by the way?"
The unicorn jerked a forehoof behind her, towards the palace's central wings. "The palace library. Said she was going to do some research on the Games, like how Anonymous asked us to do. I asked her to bring back some stuff for the rest of us to look over, too."
"Oh. And Sergeant Ebonshield?"
That same forehoof waved towards the gardens. "The Rookery. She went to go do an errand, said she'd be back in a couple of hours. We hit up the commissary first, after breakfast, and she grabbed some candy, smokes, dip, and magazines so I guess she's bribing somepony down there."
"Oh. Well, I guess that means you're on duty downstairs for his meeting with Mister Songwell. Anonymous wants me to deliver some letters for him and it'll take me until just before lunch."
The unicorn telekinetically tossed the magazine onto the coffee table beside her. "Sweet. I was kinda getting bored up here with nothing to do at the moment. You're suiting up for your mail run, right? It may look good, but that dress is fragile. Friggin' tulle."
"Of course, Lily. I wouldn't want to undo your good work. But on that subject..." Artemis pointed a forehoof at her outfit. "...I just realized I should have a bag to go with this, shouldn't I? Do you have something maybe I could borrow?"
As Lily got up and started for her room, she shot Artemis a grin. "That's my mare, Sparks, always thinking about the next accessory. When you get back from your trip and we're both off duty, come step into your big sister Lily's room and we'll see what treasures I've got in my trunk. I'm sure I can do you up something nice."
‘Oh, good.’
Like a good forecast, this was so exciting; she couldn't wait for the weekend! She just had to make sure she didn't forget the Lipizzaner Waltz dance steps. And she wondered what flower the Royal Engineer would decide for his lapel boutonnière...
Honour told Artemis to get herself 'sorted out' before doing anything flirtatious with the Royal Engineer, and to make sure she was serious about whatever she proposed. Well, she felt sorted out, and the pegasus was absolutely serious about what she wanted.
She wanted to dance with her handsome gentlecolt VIP, and she was going to do just that.
Suggested interlude music: Whitney Houston - I Wanna Dance With Somebody (Who Loves Me) [1987]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eH3giaIzONA
