Memory Sequence 7

"Give me some god damn painkillers already!" I shouted as I grabbed onto the nurse's shoulder, slightly squeezing it to the point where she yelled out in pain and finally injected into my chest a large syringe of numbing agent. My arm feel to the side as I couldn't feel half the nerves in my chest and that I just felt my heart stop beating for a second before restarting. It freaken hurts like hell.

"Take it easy Mr. Zidane, the medical staff will take care of you in a moment, just hang on a bit longer." said one of the nurses, who was currently holding the large syringe that was shoved into my chest.

"A bit longer, it has been 9 hours since I got here, and all you fuckers do is run around me and tend to the other people with the saddest excuses of injuries. I took a fucking monomolecular blade to the fucking chest, and nearly bled out, so fuck them, and get my ass back into shape so I can shove Kei Leng's little toy sword right up his ass!" as I shouted that the few patients that were awake got up a bit to look at me, my armor was already stripped off revealing my upper body along with the locations of where my cybernetic augmented arms connect to the rest of my body, and when they saw the medi-gel cast, a few layed back down while the rest just stared at it.

"Fine than, Nurse Miri, take Mr. Zidane to his area, the usual spot near the elevator so when he has recovered he can go back to getting his ass shot off to come back here." said the doctor, not paying anymore attention to me.

After a while I began to regain the feeling in my chest until I saw that blood began to seep out of any cracks or openings in the cast, until I saw it drip onto the floor by my feet, slowly pooling. "Erm...Nurse Miri...I need a change of casts and maybe oh I don't know...get this bloody hole filled up before I bleed out all over the place...that will be much deeply appreciated." I said while cupping my hand over the wound, collecting my blood until it started to pool over onto the floor.

The nurse later came back, took off the old medi-gel and as soon as it came off, whatever old blood was being held back just gushed out like a waterfall, making half of the patients puke or just start dry-gagging, even Katherine and Liselle were busy fighting back the urge to puke on the floor. Hilo'Jaa was just standing there staring blankly at the monitor while Krusk was laughing at me, like the asshole he is.

"That doesn't look so good....oh nurse...check please." as I said I fell onto a nearby table and turned pale. My eyes rolled to the back of my head as most of my blood was already out of my body and by the time the blood-packs came by I was already borderline blacked out and was waiting for sweat death to take me, but in the looming darkness I saw Death standing over me, and when I saw him raise his right hand, I saw that it was pointing at my chest and when I looked at his hand I noticed that I stopped bleeding out and that he was laughing at me the entire time.

"Just because I spared your life does not mean I will claim your life later on in the future. Just know this Roran...when you die, your ass is mine." oh that just sounds perfect...the Grim Reaper's assistant....wait...that means I don't get to kill people anymore....aw boo. "Take care of your body next time...and next time, try not to drink so much, you were this close to dying from alcohol poisoning...and almost died from that bet with that female krogan, why did you even do that?"

"First off, I drink because I can and helps with the people I killed, and the second because of how awesome it was and the risk of having my pelvis bone crushed or turned to dust...totally worth it." Death by Snu Snu...totally worth it.

As everything slowly came back to me I saw that my squad was waiting near me, Hilo'Jaa was holding my hand while Katherine was holding my pistol, Liselle was wearing my helmet and messing with the visor, Brahat was busy laughing that I nearly died for a second time that week.

Slowly pulling my hand away from Hilo'Jaa, I found out quickly that she was holding it with a death grip and when I finally yanked it away the others snapped out of what they were doing, sighed in relief, and left me alone.

"Well at least one of my friends decided to stay with me. So Hilo'Jaa...how long was I out?"

"At least 2 days and 19 hours, you were in a comatose state from the blood lose and from being hit by a polonium round. Doctor Blood said for you to take it easy for a while until you have fully recovered...."

"Damn...feel like shit knowing a lethal round nearly got me...well...at least that bullet failed its job than..." I sigh in relief knowing that Death was looking over me, but also knew that when I finally kick the bucket my soul will belong to him.

This is gonna be a fun year for me indeed.

End of Memory Sequence

"Why the fucking hell am I naked? And why are you two in here? And where the hell is my gear? And....what the hell is that thing doing in here?" I shouted while holding my gut with my left arm while pointing at the inactive Geth unit with my right, clearly pissed off and annoyed that not only was I naked for gods know how long, but also because if that Geth went rogue I will be defenseless against it, that and I fucking hate them with an unchecked passion.

Staring at the two ponies in the room before returning my gaze at the machine, just leaning against the wall turned off before I turned to my left, looking at a small bed table, and on top of it was a small glass cup, filled with water, and floating in it is my cybernetic eyeball, staring right at me. Just staring at it I can slowly feel like I am barely connected to it, than turning my gaze back to the doctor it felt like the eye slowly swirled itself to face him as well, and than looks back at myself.

"Okay...this might disgust you two...so just close your eyes or turn your head...either way just ignore what I am about to do." and with that I took the glass cup, pulled out my eye, and with that I first put the wiring back into place, and then shoved it back it, slightly grunting out in pain. Smacking my head a bit to get my eye straightened out, and with a rough rubbing of it I can finally see straight until it activates, smirking a bit as Celestia turned slightly green and the doctor was gagging a bit.

"Hehe...you two are such babies...it was just a dis-located eyeball...you should have seen my medical records and all the times I was injured on all of my missions and jobs. I swear if either of you saw me in those conditions you two would stay in your rooms for the rest of your life." I said while swinging my legs over the side of the bed, and slowly stood up and looked around for my clothes. Shivering a bit I looked down and saw that the hospital gown they gave me only reached my waist and that my manhood was out for all to see, and on a sick twisted que, they both turned around and saw me as I was, except that both of their gaze was looking straight at my royal jewels and not even blinking. Time to have a little bit of evil fun.

"So...you two are just going to keep looking at me or are you gonna do something about this mess you made." I said that while stretching a bit, making the already small gown raise even higher, revealing a tattoo of a red dragon coiled around a sword having the pointy end impaled upon it. Smirking at them I take the gown off before I turn it into a half-assed pair of shorts, covering myself up and also realizing that the skin on my mechanical arms and legs are missing to the point of where they connect to the rest of my body.

"Okay...where the hell did my synthetic skin go? I knew that the last time I saw these arms that they were still attached to the magnetic locks. Celly...Doc, where the hell did you take that skin...how the hell did you take off my armor, and why the fucking hell did you take off my clothes? And how god damn long was I out cold for?" I shouted, slowly advancing upon them both, even though my arms are made of metal and would hurt like they, I still had my biotic and tech powers hidden away in the ports of my arms.

"Well...Mr. Zidane...my name is Doctor Stayne...the few that are my regulars call me Bloodstayne...and to where your...erm..'synthetic skin', it is currently being looked at my our top scientists and medical experts. Your armor...its with the royal blacksmith here in the castle, we had to carefully inspect your armor while it was still on you, and it took us a while to take it off of you. And as for your clothes....well...we handed them over to the royal designer to try and recreate them as per Princess Celestia's wishes..." I waved my hand at him as I flexed my left hand a bit, watching the servo's and locking mechanisms retract and expand. Looking over at a nearby mirror I saw that I looked even more fucked up to begin with, a new collection of scars on my head streaming from my left eye socket, my hair on the other hand is completely messed up, its all black and burnt, most of it have been burned down to my head, all of my skin have peeled off at some point revealing a much paler than normal white skin, and any facial hair I had build up over the years I was alive was also gone, so no more mustache or beard.

"Celestia...get my armor...get my skin...and my clothes...I want them back now. I do not care if I have to go get it myself naked or covered in blood of anyone that gets in my way. You have taken my possessions without asking...and I am not happy about this one bit...so what is it going to be?"

Me and my big mouth...

So there I was, walking down the halls in search of my armor, clothes and skin...odd that I am worried about skin right? Well when I had that skin everyone thought I was normal, without it they will know that I can easily snap them in half like a twig. After the third turn to my left and than my right I was standing where the royal designer was supposed to be, and even though I could have been collected and calm but I currently did not give a fuck at the moment since my 'Box o Fucks' were taken away from me a second time, so pulling my right arm back, I thrusted it than forward and the door exploded inward like it was cheap wood. On the other side I saw my uniform on display, on what looked like a half-assed mannequin and that their was an exact copy of my uniform currently being made.

"Cam we help you...sir?" one of the designers said after shaking the debris out of her mane, to me she looked like one of those designs you usually see on those designing shows where they try to make the most exotic and exquisite dresses ever to be made, and by all rights should be punched in the face, but at that point I was in my 'somber' mood and only wanted my clothes. Instead I took the ones that were currently finished, getting the one who was making it to yell at me but when he saw that what he was making was meant for me, he immediately shut is mouth and watched as I got dressed right there, leaving on the hospital briefs , and looked myself over in my new/ old uniform. The colors were not what I have been expecting, instead of all black with the blue stripes and trim it was white with golden yellow trim and stripes, and instead of the Earth Systems Alliance symbol on my shoulders, it was Celestia's cutie mark...which at that point I wanted to rip off, set it on fire, than stitch my symbol over hers.

I looked over at the pony that made this and looked him over, and at that moment I just wanted to punt the little bastard out the window, he looked almost like that one singer from an old Earth music band...first name was Freddy... whatever it was he looked just like him and I had the urge to punt him right out the window. "You...whats your name."

He was starting to sweat when I called him out be he managed to slip out "Cashmere", and at the point I wanted to start laughing at how afraid he was of me, he had freaken magic at the time and was to afraid to use it and if I wanted to really push him I could have just scared the living crap out of him.

"Good job on the uniform...colors scheme is off but it will do for now." and with that I stormed out of the room and deked the nearest guard that got in my way, barely letting out that his name was Estoc and he was to escort me back to my room. Like hell that is gonna happen.

Storming down another set of halls until I came upon a private room that was marked 'Roran Zidane, Human Emissary'...okay....my own room...forgot what emissary means...but lets see what I got to play with before I resume my hunt for my missing gear and skin.

Opening the door to my room I was automatically amused by the fact that it was darker than the blackest void. I mean I can't even tell if this was just very dark wallpaper and carpet or that they somehow managed to put the very darkness that is space into my room and kept it only in my room, either way they get an A+ for awesomeness. Taking one step into my room I realized that there was indeed a floor and that I had oxygen to breath, than turning my palm upwards and turned on the flashlight node and the room dully lit up, and to my guess my new room is three times bigger than my old one back on Arcturus Station.

"Eh...fuck it...I give up for now...what can I do anyways...I mean...come on...last human alive...the hell am I going to do about finding that special person....if only talking ponies exist I am just gonna off myself..." I said while the sound of hooves were outside of my room, probably to take me back to my hospital room.

"So many things I will never be able to do again...no more drinking contests....no more cruel pranks....no more setting my commanding officers hair on fire....no more sex....and never again see a pair of tits....fuck my life..." falling onto my bed I practically shouted the last part, hating the fact that I will never be able to enjoy myself ever again.

After a while the sound of hooves entered my room, a few were tentative since they feared that they might just fall to their doom or float away to some random place, a certain pair of hooves eventually got to my bed and with little effort, kicked my shins, that would have hurt me if my legs were real but all it did was tell me that some pony just tried to hurt me and looking over I saw that it was Short Pinky and Shining Armor, who at the time was looking at me with a stern glare as if I stole the last cookie from the cookie jar.

"Erm...Roran...what do you mean by some of those things that you said?" oh god damn it they heard everything.

"Well...Princess, since I am the last of my kind, I am now officially and literally alone so all the fine things in life that I usually do can never happen again."

"Such as pulling pranks, drinking contests or setting someponies mane on fire?"

"Yes, from what I saw so far, I have not seen any sign of good drinks, if I pull pranks only I will get it, and if I did that last part I would most likely get arrested...again."

"And what was the last two things you said?" not even gonna go there.

"Well, if you can figure out the first part yourself I will tell you about the second part." that shut her up for a while.

After a while it was silence until Celestia and Luna walked in and behind them were a few ponies wearing scientific lab coats, which to me was pretty hilarious since they all looked silly, one of them was even wearing a hard hat. After the science ponies walked in a group of them came in with my armor and skin, and upon seeing my synthetic skin I grabbed it than knowing to what piece goes where, reattached it to my arms, hands and legs. Smiling to myself as it slowly attached itself to their metallic limbs and even grinning when the tattoo's that were their are now reconnected to their original positions.

"Finally good to have them back....and my armor...still chipped, burned and damaged...but it will do for now." I said as I strapped the pieces back onto myself, my helmet still has the hole in it but I ignored it for now as I latch it onto my waist to keep it from being lost.

Than after a while they brought the Geth unit into my room, and if I hadn't been wearing my armor I would have jumped over the ponies and ran away in case it turned itself on and started to kill everything in sight like a rogue robot.

"Roran...we are wondering if you know how to activate this....machine of yours since our scientists and researchers are having problems with it..." my lord...you did not ask me to turn this piece of crap on...

I looked it over, seeing if it is still workable and only finding out that it did not have any weapons I decided to take the biggest gamble of my life for the week by agreeing to it.

Sometimes I shouldn't do things that are risky and stupid at the same time.

"Alright...I'll do it...but after this you owe me something to drink...something good and hard..." hoping that they have booze of some kind or at least alcoholic. Taking my gamble and putting everything on it, I move over to the Geth Hunter, looking it over, turning on my omni-tool and scanned it, until I found out that it was out of juice and needed a recharge...where the hell am I going to get some e-zero at this hour....or place for that matter...

"Yea...this thing is gonna not working for a while till we get some e-zero in it." I said while hitting its head with my fist, loud thunk sounds coming off it while while it slightly bobbed in place.

The science ponies looked at each for a while until hey dragged into my room a box filled with shiny objects until I found out that those were power cores from old Husks and even a Marauder core was in the bundle.

"Not gonna ask where you got those...but they will do..." I said while picking a few of them up and shifting them around in my hands.

"Get back ponies...Science is about to happen...and other awesome shit as well." I popped the power core from the Geth, and like changing the batteries of an old device I shifted the new core in reverse, getting a small spark before it died, than putting it in normally, no response. Than I linked the cores together, all of them directing whatever energy they have left, and it is all being directed to the Geth core, and an hour later it slowly came to life and at that moment in time, I thought I heard the 'Flight of the Valkyries' in my head and I knew that was never a good sign.

As soon as the pony that held the Geth core put it back in its cradle housing, it turned itself on, closed the hatch, and turned around to face me, and its it robotic voice it spoke up.

"Zidane Lt.C, reporting for duty." It was standing at attention and even gave me a salute in which if I was only person in the room when it happened I would have shit my pants.

"Geth, what is your operating identity and place of production." I said, slightly in fear because that thing is a fucking death machine that can turn invisible and kill practically everything with ease.

"O.I. is S1L3NT and was produced on Rannoch. Infiltration model and Deep Strike Insertion against Reaper Forces." Oh thank god it was one of our Geth that joined us after Shepard won Rannoch from the Reaper...but can this hunk of metal and wires be trusted?

"Would you be interested in a game of poker with me an the guards?" Please say yes.

"Affirmative." Oh fuck yes!

Canterlot Palace, Barracks, 2 Hours Later

"You know Shining...for a pony with no means of able to hold cards at all and only with magic...holding it with your hooves is pretty damn impressive....and also...the girls on these cards and the way they are in these poses...and...attire. How did you even manage to get a hold of these types of cards in the first place? I mean if I had my deck I would be the one enjoying it instead of musing over what I lost." I grumbled as I lost my ass on another round of poker, having to give up my 'Box o Fucks', my M-9 Avenger rifle, and also my hidden copy of Fornax Illustrated that was hidden in the back of my armor plating...Estoc was still looking at it with a pensive stare.

"Zidane Lt.C, these sentient ponies are capable of holding the cards for in Our theory that they are held by a small magnetic like area on the hoof itself allowing grip onto everyday objects." S1L3NT said, his pile of loot slowly growing with each hand.

Looking over at him I saw that he has not moved an inch and was basically scanning everything in front of him, and I can tell that he was enjoying this as much as I would be except that I just lost my only piece of porn I had on me besides the E-Net.

My day was not going good at all...

After a while one of the pony guards wheeled in a keg of sorts, to me at the time thought it was something lame like water or well...whatever these ponies drink, but when I saw what was in that keg, I went all out when they started to pass out the tankards. Lets just say that even cider was enough to get me tipsy as hell.

"Ya see Shining...the reason why am I lonely...is cause you ponies are to damn small for me....I mean come on...even by human standards I am a giant...a head taller than everyone...my eyes are not real...hell...I'm just...what was that word you said...not normal....whatever...." when I get drunk, I forget everything that I do that day.

"Well Roran...maybe we can ask my sister Twilight to find a spell to shrink you down to the normal size...hehe...I bet you will be smaller than us if she shrunk you down!" yea...forgetful.

After that I ended up drinking the whole keg and eventually doing a few rounds of arm/ hoof wrestling and winning a few times before I was nearly full on blackout drunk, so in my drunken state I started to give the ponies little hits of my Hallex...A human on Hallex is amusing as hell...a pony on Hallex is fucking hilarious.

Canterlot Palace, My Room, Next Day Morning

I awoke to the worlds worst hangover ever...I mean my head was pounding like hell, every sound was amplified to the point where it felt like a hammer was beating me upside the head, and that I just wanted to puke my guts out in the bathroom. Opening my eyes I saw that I was not alone, S1L3NT was standing in the corner in what I think was his 'Stand By' phase, looking down I saw a guard sleeping on my chest, and than looking to my left I saw another guard, but the strange part was that none of them were wearing there armor, and both were mares....and I didn't have my shirt on at the time...

"What....the fuck...." I said abruptly and a bit to loud, by how loud it was it woke the pair up, both yawning in a slightly adorable manner, but in a kind of twisted way they both nuzzled into my chest, which at the time I was busy trying not to freak out and start screaming out madness and other profound things at the top of my lungs.

As soon as my eyes settled on the two I heard a loud sound of someone clearing their throat, and looking over I saw Shining Armor and his wife, which I just found out that her name was Cadence, were standing at the doorway, looking right at me with glares and a confused stare.

"Oh shit..."

Oh shit indeed.

Both of them are still staring at me while I was busy trying to figure out how I got into this situation or how I even managed to get to my own room with two mares sleeping with me...or how I even managed to open my own door in my drunken state of awareness.

"Roran...what is going on here? Why are two of my guards doing on your bed...and why do you smell of sweat and salt?" Okay...not the question I was hoping to hear but that is somewhat of a start.

"In all honesty Shining...I have no bloody idea....I mean I was so smashed that I couldn't even figure out how to open the door to my room last night...the hell did I do?" I asked with actual wonder this time cause I usually remember all the crazy shit I do when I get drunk.

"You honestly don't remember anything you did last night? Half the castle was kept up all night with your antics and pranks." I raised my eyebrow at 'antics' and 'pranks', surely he was just saying that and the two by my side would laugh at me for falling for it. So far the two are just sleeping quietly on me.

"Here let me explain it to you than..."

Drunken Memory Sequence One

After the first five tankards of hard apple cider I was considered 'Tipsy' but I kept asking for more and eventually decided to take the only keg and started to chug that fucken thing as if it was a large bowl. Every pony that was in the barracks started to chant the 'chug' and five minutes of me holding that bitch in place I emptied it and I belched so loud that I thought I was gonna puke up my tasty golden surprise all over some pony that got to close to me.

"Sheee.....Ish told you thats I can drinks it all...*hic*...hehehe....wheres my bits Estoc!"

"Oh buck..." the sounds of five gold coins hitting the table was like someone playing an elegant song...sweet victory to my ears.

As the night went on I decided that the second keg should have a bit of a zing to it, and I had just the perfect zing on me. Taking out my Hallex tube, I only put in 5 drops of the stuff in it just to get the ponies a bit blasted and trip only a little bit but enough to enjoy themselves.

Ten minutes into the drinking I realized that they are about to start a drinking contest but it was more of a twist to it, first was to drink a shot, than suck the lemon, than lick the salt, than another shot, rinse and repeat. I was all in with this one. After 8 rounds of drinking I realized that the Hallex was slowly kicking in and that I saw that everything looked like it was in slow motion, even the the sounds were affected by it and I had the worlds biggest shit eating grin ever plastered right on my face.

It was around 11pm and by than alot of the guards were flat out drunk, passed out on the floor, dancing to some non-existent tune, or just making out with one another, but for me, it was more like drunk talking to a group of ponies that were able to even speak.

"You see...back in my era...I was a total badass! I mean I once took on a bloody Harvester by myself! I just had to get the stupid thing close enough and I pressed the button on my gauntlet and BOOM! Brought a building down ontop of it!"

"Wow Zidane...you are *hic*...a badflank!" "Yea! All right in my books!" "I bet he didn't break a sweat when he did it!"

"Yea yea, keep praising me, I can never get used to the praises *hic* but there are a few things I will miss more than praises...*hic*"

"What would that be?"

"The ladies Shining...the ladies...and also never being able to find the special one....and tits...can never forget about those either...marshmallow heaven it was...now...ehh...ponies...back in my era...you are a bunch of non-sentient animals...hell...you were larger than me!" my drunken status was enough to make a few of the male guards laugh at my doomed self while the two mares that were sleeping with me were saddened and got closer to me in the process.

"Well...I think I shall call it a night...I think I am so drunk...that I am drunk...so...I am off to my room..." as I got up two of the mares followed me to my room, using me sort of for balance as I did the same to them.

As we got to my room I tried to open it but found out it was locked so I used the key to open it but instead I fumbled and couldn't get it in so I did the next best thing. I kicked the door open and walked in with the mares, slightly laughing as I pushed the door back to its closed position and jumped onto my bed while enjoying the sensation of the softness of the bed on my body.

Looking down at my feet I saw that the two ponies climbed or jumped onto my bed and as soon they got close to my chest I felt the booze and Hallex mixing and know what drugs and booze can do to a human body, I knew exactly what was bound to happen.

I passed the hell out and began to snore like a bear in hibernation.

End Drunk Sequence

"I did all that?"

"Yes, you even rutted with those two on your bed...how can you even do such a thing?" Stupid question gets silly answer.

"Well, first I take off my pants and throw it somewhere in this room, than I take off my briefs, than I get my willing partner and give her a fucking of her life." as I said that the two woke up and than looked at me, than themselves, than back to me and screamed like a banshee.

"Us with you, you with us!" my god...what did do to them last night?

Looking down at myself I saw that I was still wearing my pants, thank god, but was only missing my shirt.

"I don't think so...I think all we did was just cuddle and sleep...and maybe snored." I said while getting up, cracking my back, than I noticed that S1L3NT was gone.

"Shit...he's gone..." never good for me since I can't trust Geth as far I can shoot them.

"Yea...were fucked...that bastard is a stealth model so he could be anywhere..." sighing that I knew what was going to happen next.

My morning just went from bad to total shitstorm...

Meanwhile elsewhere

"So...what do you know of Mr. Zidane?"