Purgatory, 3 Months before the funeral

Standing at the edge of the clouds, looking down at my slowly freezing corpse being consumed by the winter gales as I watch the snow slowly pile over my body, just watching it slowly vanish beneath the ice.

"Gosh son, thank you so much for slaying the cursed demon pony, I am sure my soul will rest easy now." my father says, his tone a mocking one, the same tone he ever uses when I am in his company.

"Shut the fuck up dad..." I reply, my tone disheartened, having to watch my own body get an unmarked grave in the middle of bumfuck nowhere.

"You seem upset for some unknown reason. Come now, what's eating you, son? Oh! That's right! Vultures!" he says, still mocking my situation as he laughs at me, still laughing as he follows me towards more clouds that lead to a subway station.

"I'm serious dad! I don't want to hear it." I growled at him, trying to ignore him as I walk towards the subway train station that leads to hell, knowing that my bet with Satan is now in his favor.

"What don't you want to hear, oh firstborn child of mine?" his words sounding wise for a moment before the clear warning sign of his rant is about to begin.

"That your cunning plan to rush in headlong and grapple with a demon pony that was laying waste to a city filled with hopelessly defenseless ponies and stabbing him with a holographic solid piece of energy was going to slay him? Or how about the part of you falling approximately 1,000 feet to your demise?" I turned around to glare holes through him, his words striking home.

"Or the more general view of how you managed through your ineffective planning led to the destruction of a pretty sparkly castle and half the city." now his words are just biting the wrong buttons.

"HEY! That palace is still intact, only mildly bullet ridden, and more than half of the city is still intact...asshole." I yelled at him, my anger getting the best of me again.

"Well I hate to break it to you old man but this is far from the end of the line, it's more like halftime." I said as I walked to the Hell ticket booth, an incubus is waiting behind the booth this time, reading a magazine about Hitler's strategy plans and how flawed they were. He gave me a nod before pushing a button as two tickets popped up from a small slit in the booth, first class tickets to hell.

"What? How can you halve time?" my father asked, actually thinking that I could cut time in half, facepalming to myself as the incubus behind the counter just looks up from his book again to just roll his purple-slit eyes before resuming his reading.

"*sigh* I should have known that sports metaphor would have been wasted on you. What I mean is, my duty to Equestria is not over yet even though I bit the bullet for the ninth time now. As soon as Celestia or Luna find my beaten-to-fuck corpse and after Death gives me the green light to come back to the land of the living I will resume my job as if nothing has ever happened." which he should be giving me a thumbs up right about now.

'Even though my mangled-to-hell corpse is going to require more than duck-tape and ryncol to make it all better.'

"Ooooo, yes! And while your friends collect the seven magic spheres to wish you back to life, you can train with a secret martial artist master who lives here in the afterlife." he said while giving the most convincing of tones while acting like nothing was happening.

"..... Really?" I said while pulling out a stick to chew on while waiting for the train to arrive.

"No, not really, you moron! Does this look like that stupid old Earth show to you!" he yelled, his face red from how hard his voice raised, obviously not liking my answer.

"Could have fooled me, that last fight took to damn long to end." I said while looking at my left arm, seeing that it is back where it belongs but sadly I couldn't move it much since it is still reforming to my body.

"You know, this place does look a LOT different than I expected..." I said while looking around, still thinking about where we both should have ended up instead of this massive expanse of fluffy white clouds.

"What are you talking about?" my father says while wiping his brow with his right hand, clearly not getting to what I was saying.

"Well, I died, and I'm standing here listening to you berate me. So wheres the fire and brimstone? Where are all the little red devils with the pitchforks?" I said while still waiting, the demon on the other side points upwards above the booth, the time for the train to arrive is five weeks.

"Cute Roran, very cute." my father says, clearly not amused by what I said, his arms crossing before me while I laugh a bit.

"I repent oh Lords of the Underworld! Whatever I did to deserve this eternal punishment, I repent! I'll take all the hot pokers, just don't make me talk to my asshole of a father a second longer than necessary!" I shouted while falling to my knees, my arms wide open waiting for the fiery pain.

As I kneel'd their waiting for the little bastard imps, an angel flies over to the both of us, in her hands is a clipboard and a quill, her hair tied up in the usual no-nonsense bun, her uniform is that of what most accountants would wear, even her halo has a little name tag, but sadly I couldn't read it since the damn thing was so bright it hurt to even stare at it.

"Excuse me Mr. Zidane?" the angel said while looking at her clipboard, her eyes not even looking at us.

My father and I look at each other for a moment before speaking at the same time, "Yes?".

"The Jr. Mr. Zidane?" she said while looking up from her clipboard, her eyes scanning both of us.

"That's me." I said while stepping forward, my father trailing behind us, my guess he has been stuck in this shit hole longer than I have.

"Nice to meet you, sir. I am from the Burocratico Angelo that has been assigned to your case." she says while extending her hand to me which I accepted and gingerly squeezed it, shaking it and the feeling she gives off is that of pure and utter relaxation and peace of mind.

"My case?" I said, I was utterly confused because the other times I died and ended up here not once did an angel show up for anything besides that I am getting the boot back down to the mortal realm.

'Even in the afterlife the Italians are the lawyers.'

"Yes, we need to find out your post-mortal residential status in order to find out whether you are going to the Underworld or to Heaven. Why don't you have a seat at my office while we review your past life to to figure out where you will be spending the rest of your existence when we find Celestial Realm perfect for you." her office appears out of bumfuck no where, looking like the typical office cubical found in most economical area's of most cities and metropolitan areas.

As I look around and I found a revolving door with a spirit walking through it and receiving a greeting from an angel, "Huh...I always thought the 'revolving door afterlife' was just a metaphor..." I mused quietly to myself as I sat down at the desk.

"Now, you are a soldier, so that means you are eligible to earn Frequent Dying Miles every time you stay with us...and you can earn double points when you use your Archon Express card. Would you like to fill out an application?" she says while typing something up on her terminal, obviously getting something ready for me. This feels more like an interview than processing.

"Eh sure." I said while shrugging, not really caring for either at the moment but knowing how often my body gets abused and ruined I might as well get them while I can.

"Let's take a look at your Permanent Record, shall we?" she asks while typing in my name on her screen which to my surprise has red tape on it before it disappears to a single word.

"Permanent Record? I thought that was just fucking hoax to straighten my ass in line during the academy training!" I said defensively, my time at the academy was hell but the shit I got into was something I did not entirely cause to myself.

"Wow, your commanding officer had quite a few choice things to say about you-" she started before I quickly blurted something out.

"How the hell should I have known that Mr. Lenohan was allergic to peanut butter!" in truth it was funny as hell

"-but we generally ignore things that revolved around your early adulthood and your childhood."

"Oh thank god."

"Let's see what do we have in the adult file...Resisting Arrest?" she said as my father starts to chuckle behind me, clearly familiar with that one.

"It was Cerberus Assassins wearing C-Sec gear and they were a illegitimate authority anyway."

"Stealing presents from an ambassador?" her eyes just staring through me as my father keeps laughing, slowly falling backwards from the growing intensity of his laughter.

"There was a bomb in those boxes and I ended up saving his ass and about forty others from the blast. I ended up losing an arm for saving him, and he still owes me a new arm."

"Dangling a prisoner out a window?" at this point my father is just laughing his ass off, the angel on the other hand is just shaking her head in disappointment.

"That man betrayed everyone by working with the Reapers and also I fucking hated that man."

"Starting a- oh my..."

"I don't like the sound of this..." her tone utterly crippling any

"Starting a full out brawl in Chora's Den, getting hammered in said place, shooting four people, killing two of them, running from the law, stealing a vehicle and escaping from the law, and finally getting caught by the law, leaving jail on only drunk charges than getting...fornicating in an elevator in a public place and lastly almost killing Commander Shepard."

"Okay...all of that crap was not entirely my fault, the brawl was in self-defense, getting drunk off my ass was because of a drinking contest, those four bastards shot at me so I returned fire and wasn't my fault that those two have such crappy constitutions, C-Sec was being an ass that day so I decided to have some fun, and the elevator was because we were both drunk and it was more like a one-hour stand. Almost killing Shepard because he was working with Cerberus, those bastards are the reason why I am here in the first place." I said, defending myself for what I was worth, knowing full well that being stuck in Hell was not going to be fun as it usually is, the few trips I have been there was horrible. Hell is exactly as I thought it would be, nothing but office cubical's, demons walking around with coffee mugs with the words 'Number 1 Son or Daughter' or in the very few cases 'Number 1 Yes Man', all of them walking in suits with ties, small square lens glasses and constantly asking the workers for paperwork and other horrible work that the office people usually do.

In all Hell is exactly as I saw it, the universe's biggest office complex, and Satan was the head cheese.

"..."

"Than there was you leaving your four-eyed friend, a batarian, left behind and allowed him to be captured by Reaper forces to be processed and turned into a Cannibal."

"Well...I...I always hated that bastard, I hated him with a passion, but I grew close to the little bugger...I knew what I did was wrong as hell...leaving a man to a fate like that is....damning to pretty much any religion. It took me a few minutes to realize that I know his harsh ass wouldn't survive in the processing facility so I went back in alone, I could have asked the rest of my squad to help but I told them to continue on with their objective. I had to go back for a team mate let alone one of the few men that can see through my bullshit and call on it easily, I knew that it was wrong to leave him behind but I made up for it by going back and saved him and a few other prisoners that have yet to be turned into black goop to be piped out somewhere."

Her facial expression still hasn't changed but it has softened a bit but she is still wearing the same solid mask.

"I don't suppose we can just weigh my heart against a feather or some shit like that?" I said as her stare get growing in intensity, sweat starting to form on my brow as the interview kept going on and on.

"Oh, no, we haven't done that for years. The scales are a bitch to calibrate." she said while gathering up her clipboard and lone file report from the table before standing up and straightening out her skirt.

'Where the fuck is Garrus when you need that cobalt painted bastard...' my thoughts giving voice as I know that he can easily fix that scale, if he can calibrate a giant fucking cannon on a warship than he can just breeze through a scale.

"You...well your records are full of black and grey spots but your actions that you have taken against an evil that would have constantly wiped out all known life and all other past actions to ensure that peace and harmony overtake evil and destruction but you never stop working to improve the lives of those around you by making sure they are safe at night when you protect them. That's what's important. To us, anyway." the angel said as she walked around the table and stands directly in front of me, and assuming this is where the office disappears and not wanting to land flat on my ass and make myself look like a fool I stood up and waited for my judgement.

"Welcome to Heaven, Roran." she said while sticking her hand out, her heart warming smile spread across her face as I somewhat awkwardly shook her hand, still not fully comprehending what just happened, and still thinking if Satan is just waiting in the background waiting for me to lower my guard and say I just got punk'd.

"Wait what? What about my deal with Death? Usually my ass would be back on Earth in some frozen chasm trying to find a way to crawl out and get back to civilization or worse, trying to claw my way out of a wooden box." my mouth opening and closing like a air-drowning fish, my mind flip-flopping on itself.

"It's not a problem with us, your not the first to make the same deal. Go on up." she said as her office space slowly faded away, she turned around just before her wings unfurl to take off, someone gives out a very disgruntled yell.

"WHAT!" of course, it had to come from my father.

"In lew of paradise, can I get a picture of that exact look on his face?" I said as I tried to tap my omni-tool to take a picture but it wasn't working.

"Now, see, that's exactly the sort of comment we are trying to get you to cut back on." she sighs, shaking her head in slight disappointment.

"Maybe a fifty-foot marble statue..." I grumbled to myself, my father's face still red as a tomato and pissed off as hell.

"Now wait a cotton-picking minute! When I died I was not allowed even remotely close to that gate to heaven and as soon as my son died he is allowed entry when he did even worse things than I! How the fucking hell is he even allowed into Heaven when he is the reason why that cargo freighter crashed into frigate!" he yelled while pointing an accusing finger right at me.

"I'm guessing it's due to their very low Jackass Quota, Dad. They're just full at the moment." I replied to him, smirking in victory.

"Your son is getting in because he upheld his oath as an Earth Systems Alliance soldier and an as N7 Operative. Sure he could have gone about it in a more effective and efficient manner-"

"Like to see you do my damn job better than me..." I mumbled under my breath, not liking how people are telling me on how to do my job.

"-but we don't penalize people for trying. He was doing what he thought was best for everyone he worked with, for and met, to the limits of his abilities-including his judgement on his actions."

"You on the other hand abandoned your oath, broke it when you joined Cerberus than the Reapers. You stopped being a decent human being when the Reapers invaded Earth and turned your back against your own people just for the sake of saving your own skin from being turned into a Husk." she said as her tone started to turn to that of anger and annoyance, one thing I learned in my time in the academy is to never piss off the ladies, a woman's scorn is something to man should ever take lightly.

"You broke your oath while your son fulfilled it with everything he could have done to ensure that everyone was protected from evil and harm from the oath you dumped on his feet. Therefore, he earned his spot in Heaven while you earned a front row ticket to Hell." the angel's tone kept growing in intensity, my father shrinking down as she slowly floated above him, her eyes piercing right through him.

"But...but that's not fair!"

"Yes, it is fair. And that's why you are upset."

"Ooooo, holy burn!"

"Well Dad, it's been a blast, but some of us has an appointment with the revolving door. Adios, old man."

"Oh, no, Roran, that's for returning patrons. First-timers take the entrance behind you."

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa" a group mini angels making the typical holy sounds as the giant golden gates slowly creak open, revealing Heaven, in all of it's fluffy cloudy glory. Both my father and my own jaw's drop simultaneously, my eyes slightly watering at the sight as my father just stood their and looked.

The angel slowly slides next to me and whispers to my ear, placing a small bag into my left hand as I feel her breath on my ear. "It's customary to tip the cherubim."

Walking towards the gate was something that was both a mixture of feeling empowered and feeling feeble, but I pushed aside those feelings as I took my first step into Heaven, the soft cloud sinks slightly beneath my feet as I took the first step. After getting adjusted to the slight sinking feeling and the partial weightlessness, I started my trek to find out what exactly I could do here but was shortly stopped by a little ball of light.

"Welcome to Heaven, Roran Zidane Jr. I'll be your guide in Heaven until you get settled in, or until you are raised from the dead by your friends and loved ones." it said, the tone of its voice was something that you had to wonder what gender it was, it sounded both like a male and female, confusing as hell since its a little ball of prismatic light.

"Thanks uhh....ball of light?" I said, confused by both the fact it is a ball of light and that it speaks, let alone if it even has a name.

"Actually my name is 'Roran's Archon' or just 'Archon'." it said as it floated over to my head before sticking close to my left ear for some reason.

"Huh...seems awfully...convenient." I said, skeptical about its name but brushed it off as I made for the colossal mountain in front of me.

"Exactly."

"So what is there to do here? I mean sure it is Heaven and all, but from what I know it is just a paradise for those that did good for their entire lives...seems kinda...plain."

"Well this is the lobby of Heaven, the actual area itself is above your head, in the golden clouds circling the mountain top."

"And how do you suppose I get up there? Climbing that mountain could take days, and I am not spending my first day in Heaven climbing a giant friggen mountain. Friggen? Friggen...frack...oh you got to be friggen kidding me..."

"Yes, I am not assuming you have found out that you can not swear in Heaven?"

"Ya, you little fuzzy bulb-head, I just realized that, now how am I supposed to enjoy my reunions without the ability to swear like a drunken navy pilot!"

"You can always be nice and have a gentle, calm conversation instead of acting like an uneducated brute."

I just stare at the ball of light, contemplating if it is possible to kill one of those things, but sadly realized that you can't entirely kill light, just snuff it out by covering it in shadows.

"So just normal idle chatter....I guess I can get used to it....but you still haven't told me how I am getting out of this lobby." crossing my arms as I looked around, not finding anything useful or means to get up there.

It floats away from my head before getting a good distance away from me before disappearing, the prismatic colors fading away before returning as a giant golden glass elevator.

"Okay...that was....strangely convenient." I said, looking at the elevator before walking up to it and with a gentle push on the doors, stepped in and closed it behind me. Looking around the interior of the elevator I saw only two buttons, the first said 'Lobby' as the second said 'Plaza', and knowing that the lobby is boring as hell I pressed 'Plaza' and hoped that it looks better than it says.

What I did not know was that this elevator moved faster than any other I have ridden on, this ride was that of a really fast roller-coaster that had plenty of twists, spins and corkscrews, it forced so many G's on me that I fell flat on my ass and was pressed into the glass floor for a few seconds before abruptly stopping, throwing me to the ceiling before slamming back down onto the floor.

"Okay...next time warn me about the insane speeds that this thing can exert...I think I broke a butt cheek..."

"Your body is completely intact, no internal damage, and if I had warn you about the speeds you would still be hitting the floor and ceiling regardless."

I just looked at the floaty light for a few seconds before exiting the elevator that is my helper before he faded from that form and returned to that of a prismatic orb of lights.

"Welcome to the Plaza."

As I got off the floor and looked around I saw that this is what Heaven must really be. All around everything was made of the purest of white marble, the light from the sun is flawlessly reflecting off of the smooth, polished surfaces of the stone, giving it the air of superior authority and collective calm. Everywhere I looked I saw things that looked familiar until it came to me that it was the ancient greek version of the Presidium on the Citadel, and truth be told it was the exact mirror version of it.

"Wow...seems like whoever made the Presidium on the Citadel must have died at least a few times to make it look exactly like this...I can see why it was always so calm and peaceful...even when it was on fire and covered in Geth and Husks...hmm...I hope this place has a noodle bar...and my home..." I said aloud, not knowing that all around me was tens of thousands of both angels and normal people, going about their daily lives, a few giving me warming smiles and glances.

"This place has over 100 noodle bars, all of them lining the Plaza level and floors, your home is this way, if you would follow me." the ball floating over to a planned route, emitting a blue and green light mixture, grabbing my attention as I followed it past several buildings, all of them looking exactly like the Presidium stores.

A few minutes into the walk we stopped at a large building, at least two stories tall and all marble but instead of the pure white of the others, this was a sky blue color and that it was lined with window gardens on nearly every window.

"This is your home, if you need further instructions to get to varies locations, just call for me." the sphere said before shooting straight up into the air and in a spiraling fashion, vanished into the air.

Taking a moment to prepare myself for whatever will be on the other side of the door and also for whoever might be there waiting. Waiting a few seconds I grabbed the handle on the door and pushed it open, my head poking through the crack to see who is near the doorway but no one was present at the moment.

Stepping quietly into my new home, I took mental notes of everything that I saw. In the middle of what I think is the living room was a semi-large water fountain roughly the same height as me give or take a couple inches, around said fountain are what I can clearly tell are roses of all kinds and varying colors and scents, behind me was the dinning hall, a large oak table able to hold eight people, the chairs also seem to be made of oak. Connecting the two rooms is the hall way, which is adorned in pictures of my mother, myself, my friends and I, and also a picture of me giving the middle finger with my left hand, a Talon pistol in the right, sitting on top of a crashed Cerberus Kodiak while Katherine and Hilo'Jaa are doing the same pose as I am. What was next to that picture was something that I thought I told Katherine to delete, it was a picture of me, when I was seven, sucking on my thumb in bed while hugging a very large varren plush doll, asleep.

"Oh come on! I thought I told her to delete that! That is so embarrassing and....where did it all go wrong..." I sighed sadly as I turned away from the picture, walking towards the stairs in front of the foyer, grabbing the hand rails and steadily walking up, expecting to find someone.

As I got up to the second floor, I found out how quickly the scenery has changed for me as I quickly found myself in a more homely environment as everything feels more...friendly. Taking a few cautious steps into the new scenery of my own home, I look around taking in the sights as I come into a room that looked like it was freshly cleaned, the carpet looked like it was vacuumed, the wooden cabinets and dressers dusted and polished, the bed made and even the windows cleaned.

Walking over to a dresser, a picture frame is free standing as the screen is coated in a heavy layer of dust, completely obscuring the picture within, and with a bush of my thumb I wipe away a thin layer of dust away, revealing a picture of my face when I was eighteen and freshly graduated from the Alliance Academy of London, I was dressed in my uniform blues, pressed and ironed, my dress shoes were at a high mirror shine and my cap was compact and never budged an inch when the Kodiak's came to pick us up for the ceremony. Brushing more of the dust off the picture, I noticed that this picture was modified with a different background form where it was original was taken, instead of the usual tile walls behind me, it was replaced by wooden boards, and standing beside me was someone but was partially concealed in dust.

"Well...it seems my son has finally come home to visit his mother, well don't just stand there with your thumb up your butt and give me a hug." my mother said, no longer was her usual authoritative tone but instead of one I have only heard only once, when she first saw me on the hospital bed with my limbs being removed after the battle of the Citadel, after Saren has been killed by Shepard and his crew, while he was being tasked with wiping out the remaining pockets of geth resistance, I was tasked with new limbs and the training to use them.

"Mom..." was all I said before running up to her and pulling her into the tightest of hugs I can give her without causing any damage, even with us being in the afterlife I rather not do something that could potentially harm her.

"It has been so long since I last hugged you...in my real arms, not some ectoplasmic illusion." she says as she holds me in her arms, stroking my hair for a while before breaking the hug off, looking me in the eyes as mine stare at hers, the sounds of something falling down the hall attracts my attention before I hear the sounds of childish giggles.

"Is...is she..." I said, stuttering my words as I hear more sounds of childish giggles coming from the corridor behind me.

"Yes, she is, go on now, I know you two have a lot of catching up to do." my mother says, a tear coming down her face as she smiles faintly at me, letting me go down the hall towards the room at the end, a pinkish light seeping out from the cracks of the door.

Slowly pushing open the door to the room, I let it the light bathe me in its warm glow as I walked into the large room. The sight of my little sister playing with some dolls fills me with at first a small smile, and as she keeps playing in ignorance of my presence, small tears rapidly turning into small rivers. When she finally looks up from her dolls and see's me for the first time after so long, she too started crying and got off the floor before jumping at me, forcing me onto the floor and into a tight embrace, her frilly pink dress fluttering as we hit the floor.

"Brother! Your finally home!" she yells, her joy obvious to anyone that heard her.

"Yes...yes I am....I am home..." I said quietly, giving her the best bear hug I can give her in my current position on the floor, her head burying into my chest, rubbing her cheek against my chestplate as I pat her on the back, enjoying the moment we are having until she finally pulls away from me and goes to her small bed, patting the spot next to her, indicating for me to sit there.

Rolling off my back and climbing to my feet I made my way to my little sister's bed and barely sat on the edge of it, fearing that the combined weight of my armor and my own weight would snap the support struts in half but when she tugged on my arm a few times to get me to sit more on it, the bed took and held my weight with little to no stress sounds coming from the metal support pieces.

"Big brother...are all the bad men finally gone?" she said a little worried, her voice quivering a bit as she looked at the door, afraid that a monster would pop out and try to eat her. I gave her a warm smile and pulled her in to a side hug as I ruffled her hair teasingly as she punched me in the leg, pouting cutely.

"Yes Emily...they're all gone, the bad men would never scare you ever again." I said, a lone tear sliding down my face as I lean in to nuzzle her head, letting the tear fall down onto her hair as she hugs my waist, smiling widely as she sighs happily, knowing the creeps in the dark are gone.

"So can we finally play together now, you know...if you want to that is...but can we please play?" she said innocently as she looked up at me with the saddest of eyes I had seen from her.

Ruffling her hair again before picking her up and than placing her back down on the floor before sitting next to her, crossing my legs so we can be at a somewhat equal height as she passes a stuffed animal to me, a little puppy with a platinum blonde coat and oceanic blue eyes.

For the greater part of what I think was five hours, we played, we laughed, we chased each other around the house and played games with each other until it was finally time to have dinner, which to my surprise a few more people came over while we were playing.

Sitting at the far end of the table and talking to my mother, humanities greatest legend, Commander John Shepard, and he is sitting in my chair, sipping out of my wine glass. Sitting by him was Admiral Steven Hackett and Admiral David Anderson, also sipping from wine glasses.

As my sister and I walked into the kitchen we stopped as all four stopped talking and stared at us for a while, their eyes looking over us as I slowly moved my sister behind me and even slower, reached for anything that is on the rear belt-loop.

"Calm down Lt. Commander, this is not a trial or anything of the matter, this is just a friendly gathering, nothing more, and I see that even after so many years that your instincts drive you to protect others, even in your current condition." Anderson said while slightly leaning back to catch a glimpse of my little sister before I slightly lowered myself into a much more defensible stance to shield Emily from any oncoming fire.

"Well, tell me first as to why you three are here, and I will stand down. It is not that I don't trust you sir, it is just that I don't trust any of you." I said, waving my hand at the three sitting.

At that they looked at each other briefly before giving silent nods and at that I dropped my stance and slowly sat at the opposite sit of the table, letting Emily hop up onto my lap as I moved her plate over to her and waited for her to begin eating.

"Well?" I said while raising an eyebrow at them, waiting to see who would be the first to talk.

Hackett coughs briefly before standing at attention, looking me dead in the eye, "Roran, we are here because you were the last human alive on Earth-" I cut him off as a little memory pops up, a few minutes of a segment of what I told Katherine back at the Crystal Palace.

"Actually Katherine is now holding up that mantle for me...until I go back that is."

"...Well than, another reason we have came over was that, how is it that when those around you have died or are in stone, you were the only one to be the first free?" Hackett says, trying to figure out how exactly us two escaped our earthly prisons.

"Well Hackett, when you make a deal with someone, make sure you read the bloody fine print, otherwise you are SOL. And as to being the first free from stone...well I guess I got lucky and was near a civilized area and was found, as for the revival...ask Princess Celestia, cause I sure as Hell don't know."

"Princess Celestia?" both Hackett and Shepard say in union as Anderson just says 'Princess' by itself, even my mother was a bit confused at that.

Looking at the four before looking down at my sister, who was finished eating and was now messing with my armor, happily messing with my armor's lights by changing their colors at random. Collecting myself a bit before speaking again, this time giving a few details about who she is, her species, and also the year.

"My gods...are you sure your armor is functioning correctly son? This timeline...it seems....impossible."

"Sir, nothing is impossible, only highly improbable, it is correct, when I first got my hands on any spare parts I fixed my armor to the best of my abilities, and it is exactly 15.7 Million years after Earth's downfall along with the rest of the Council Species. But I want to know if the Crucible even fired." I said, looking at Shepard, who with a heavy sigh stood up and collected himself.

"Roran...the Crucible fired...but...it completely wiped out Earth, most of the Reapers, and both Sword and Shield Fleets, after it went off we just held onto whatever we can until everything eventually died off...the few humans that survived are doing what Javik did, they entered stasis pods but we do not know if they survived or not."

As he says that, I promptly lifted Emily off my lap and placed her on a nearby chair, stood up and walked out the front door, smashing my fist through the door knob and walked off.

Hall's of Infamy, Hell

"Welcome to Hell Mr. Zidane, my lord has been expecting-"

"Yea yea Ziggy, I know Satan is expecting me, I just need to make a quick stop real fast...now where the hell is that little shit head..."

Looking around and after asking a little imp who was stabbing the poking the shit out of Stalin, he directed me to a small booth before I found my route and walked for what felt like months until I came upon the 'Hall's of Infamy'.

"Napoleon...Jack the Ripper...Herbert Hoover...Hitler...Stalin....George W. Bush Jr....Bin Laden...Kim...fuck I forgot your name....ah...here we go." I said after walking past countless cells until finally finding the one I was looking for. "You were hard to find, you little illusive bastard."

Without even turning around from his small metal rotating chair, the Illusive Man takes a small inhale from his cigar before turning to get a sideways glance of me.

"Illusive Man...or should I call you Jack Harper? Either name shall do but for now, Jack, you have a lot to pay for you son-of-a-bitch. Because of you humanity is dead, along with pretty much everything else in the galaxy. Because of you, humanity bit the bloody bullet way to damn early, and left whatever survivors with not only the bill, but also the tab and several handicaps. Because of you, humanity is dead."

"Everything I have done, it was in humanity's best interest. Do you think power like I had comes easy? There are sacrifices."

"Well guess what Jack, you sacrifices to damn much, and look where your power hungry goal led you? Straight to Satan's number one criminal of all time cell. Enjoy your time here, cause this is all you got left, that and your tuxedo." I said before walking out of the Halls and went back onto the subway train and took a ride back to Purgatory than to Heaven.

New Presidium Lake, Heaven, 5 Months Later

Looking out onto the vast openness of the lake, I picked up a target bottle and grabbed a rifle from the crate before loading in a practice round, pulled back the safety lever and threw the bottle before watching it explode in a shower of sparkles and dust, the recoil being barely felt.

"Another."

"Sir, if I may ask, why do you spend so much time here at the lake and at your house when there is still so much to do. You have quite literally all the time in the world to do whatever you desire to do within the Light's reason."

"Another..."

Firing again, the bottle breaking in half as the round tears into the top half, leaving the bottom intact before it too disappears into a shower of glass bits.

"Another..."

The little ball finally sighing in defeat before levitating another target before leaving.

Taking that as my que, I dropped my rifle and target in the crate before rushing back home, feeling myself slightly out of place and seeing things that weren't quite real.

As I got home I can already feel myself shifting back and forth.

"Emily, it looks like I have to get back to work keeping the bad men away." I said with a small tear sliding down my face, not wanting to leave her behind so soon.

"Will you be back to play with me soon?" she said with a smile on her face, her looks slightly crest fallen from the sudden news.

Looking at her before looking out the window, I try come up with a positive answer but can only come up with this.

"I will try to get back to you soon, and Emily, remember what I taught you, if you see a bad man?" I said, looking at her before giving her a thumbs up.

"Go for mommy and let her save the day!" she said with in a very chipper tone.

"Good, now, I must be going, see you soon." speaking out before finally fading away, seems like Death had his plate full.

Arid Wastelands, Badlands

Opening my eyes for the first time in months, my vision comes up golden as I slightly turn my head to find it hard to even lift a finger. Slowly getting the feeling in my legs again, and eventually my right arm as I feel the phantom pains from my left until finally getting all the feelings in my chest and torso.

Slowly moving up from the viscus liquid, I can feel it slowly drip off my body and eventually watching it drip onto the floor. The smell of it oddly familiar and yet strangely alien to me.

Bringing a hand to my face and licking it, rolling the strange gel on my tongue before rubbing it on my lips, the taste suddenly clicking.

"God...where am I....and why does my mouth taste like honey?" I shouted as I looked around, my vision kicking in completely as I see that I am in a cave of sorts, the sound of loud buzzing fills the air before a pair of emerald eyes fill my vision, the only thing that I can see.

"Welcome...to the Hive." the insect said before I hear the sounds of more buzzing and chitterlings from others.

'I'm not in the tundra anymore...'