'Pancakes.....neeeeeeeeeed pancakes.....and pain-killers...lots and lots of pain-killers....'

Slowly shuffling to the kitchen, looking at all the damage that the three fillies managed to do in such a short time, the fridge was practically raided, pots and pans everywhere, the toaster had toast in it but was burnt to a crisp, my boxes of ceral and other dry food was tossed everywhere and on the counter was an empty tin of the last apple pie. It was a tragedy.

"How the hell did those three destroy my kitchen? I mean they are small, sure one has magic and one can barely fly but seriously? What the hell!" in truth I should have realized that these little hellions would have caused such destruction to my home but it atleast gave me a chance to clean up my home and sort through what I have.

Sighing sadly I began my cleaning of the kitchen, throwing away empty boxes of food or anything that is devoid of crumbs, putting dirty dishes into the sink and my eyes caught a sight of something I thought I might never see. A bottle of a dark brownish orange with an even darker orange liquid in it, looking at the bottle it reads 'Barkandi 151', popping the cork from it and catching a faint with I was immediately repulsed by its stank.

"My god...that thing smells worse than krogan Ryncol....which means it must be better!" looking around the kitchen to make sure that Kara was not here knowing full well that this is hers I kick the bottle back and got a taste of the foul smelling liquor...in this case it was a terrible idea. As a drop it my tongue it fucking burned it, the taste was beyond painful it felt like my tongue and throat was on fire and that no amount of water would get rid of the heat but as the fire in my mouth starts to grow hotter it suddenly dies down and is replaced with a strange minty coolness.

'Okay...so far the strangest thing I have ever drank but still better than hard cider...'

Putting the bottle back and continueing with the cleaning I noticed that not only did they manage to completely destroy my kitchen, but they also managed to turn my living room into groundzero of London, books are everywhere, favorite chair overturned, my coffee table is upside down and my miniature statue of Discord is somehow stuck to the ceiling. How they managed that I do not want to know.

'Note to self...never leave these fillies with Kara ever again....no scractch that...never allow them to sleep over, those three are a fucking demolition squad.'

After about an hour of cleaning, scrubbing, setting fire to a stain that would not go away and sorting of whatever that is still intact my house is finally clean and if I were to inspect it as a military instructor it would pass with flying colors, but here in pony land I can guess that flying colors is the norm.

"YMIR-Cuddles, is the prototype ready to be deployed?"

"Yes it is sir but you will unarmed from medium-to-long engagements as you are lacking any weapons. Your wristblades and phase-disruptors are ready to be used. All primary, secondary and tetriary systems are green light. Whenever you are ready to deploy the prototype say the command."

"Good work Cuddles, go into standby-phase and await further commands."

"Logging you out Lt. Commander."

Looking over my shoulders I can see Cuddles trying to figure out how to get down the stairs without slipping or falling, a feat easier said than done when the floorboards are less than a foot long and that it is evenly placed but the thing that amazes me is that the weight of the mech did not crack the carpeted floorboards...yet.

Resuming my cleaning I took the time to recall my past cleaning experiences and each one always ended with some person barging in, yelling at the top of their lungs about something important or that I am needed immediately. Shivering in fear that the same thing will happen I brace myself for the incoming yelling by getting the prototype open and ready to be worn as I put the covers down from the bookshelves to keep my precious books safe, closing and locking all the windows, and as an added precaution, locking the front and back door.

'Good luck trying to ruin this clean home outsiders!'

And almost on cue I hear the sounds of a window exploding and the tall tell sounds of glass shattering and hitting the floor before long a loud thud follows with the glass and a started yelp comes down the stairs. Clenching my fists and grinding my teeth in hopes of crushing an invisible marble in my jaws I begin to ascend the stairs to see what the hell just happened.

'Every fucking time without fail...I hope this place has insurance or else keeping this place safe will be a bitch.'

After a minute of climbing the stairs and hearing the sounds of something falling over and crashing onto the floor and the sounds of Kara yelling or barking at someone or herself, hopefully to someone...

Opening the door I see Kara on top of our bed, holding a spear in her paws while only wearing a towel for her bottom half and what I think was her old leather straps for her top, but what really got my attention was the target she was pointing her spear at, a cyan pegasis sprawled all over the floor, covered in broken glass and a few books. The one and only Rainbow Dash.

Looking at the window than at her, to looking at the bookshelf than back to her, than straight to the shards of glass and window bits all over the floor and around her before shifting my gaze straight to her again as she looked away sheepishly while pulling herself out of the rubble and spreading her wings to get any shards of glass or pinewood from her shaking limbs.

"Okay seriously how the fuck did you manage to crash into my home, break a window, knock over a bookshelf, manage to open the shutters of the bookshelf and get a few of my books on top of you...and why the hell are you not hurt from any of that?" my puzzled and fucking bewildered look has gotten the better of me since everytime I jump through windows or get fucking tossed into a shelf or a bulkhead it fucking hurts and I rather stay on the floor and wait it out but she just shook it off as if it was nothing!

After a minute or two of explaining what happened I get a somewhat satisfactory answer but still pissed off that she broke a window just after I finished cleaning my home let alone break it while knocking over my shelf which is holding my shotgun, bayonet and my box-o-fucks. If that shotgun went off I would had to fear of the spike flying out of the shelf and slam into the wall or worse if it fell out of the shelf, fired at the window and it goes flying...whoever is at the receiving end of that spike will be in for a world of hurt.

"Just get out of here Dash, I will clean this up and replace the window....next time you should go practice somewhere safe or with safety netting to catch yourself...repairing windows was a bitch in my time and knowing the timeline of this place only makes window repairs worse..." sweeping up the broken glass and wood frames in a small sweeper and shovel while the cyan pegasis flies out the now busted open window while Kara keeps growling till she leaves before looking at her shelf which remains upright while mine was still on the floor.

"Don't worry I got it...damn thing needs to be bolted down anyways and besides I heard from Sweetie Belle that you have been going over to Rarity's boutique for what I think she calls 'accent coaching' or something...but eh, its your life to run but do try not to end up like her and get all fruu-fruu, there is such thing as too much." gathering all the glass into the small shovel I place it near my hand as I flick on the incineration tech as it heats the glass till it turns into a bubbling glob of molten glass in which I freeze it with Cold Snap, letting it rest so it can solidify at a later time so I can properly shape it for some use.

1 Hour Later

Knock Knock Knock

"I'm coming!"

Knock Knock Knock

"I said I am coming!"

Knock Knock Knock

"I swear to fucking god if this is a fucking prank I am going to murder whoever is at the door!"

There was silence for a good five minutes as I was finally getting down the second floor stairs as I heard it again.

Knock Knock Knock

"That's it!" I quickly go back upstairs, go to my now bolted down shelf and grabbed my box-o-fucks and strapped it to my thigh, grabbed the bayonet and fixed it to the end of my Graal shotgun and checked to see it has only a single shot left inside its thermal clip but it will be enough for what I have in mind.

Grabbing the door knob and counting to three in my head I throw the door open wide to see who was fucking with me but sadly I knew these two clowns that were fucking with me.

"Private Snowball, Private Bats...what the hell is your problem? Was that incessive knocking so important to pull me away from fixing my abode and you I hope you two are the ones that brought the chariot for me cause if you are than go back, it won't be able to support the weight of what I am brining to Canterlot. I am telling you this ahead of time so you two can tell the rest of P1 Ops that I am coming along with the princesses, Blueblood doesn't need to know yet neither does Shining Armor. Now go forth and relay my news." I said in a stern manner one would hear from a training instructor to their students. Both saluted and as they went back to the chariot they brought for me and hooked themselves up to it I can see Needlewing in the back as she flutters her way to me for a hug, which I knew was a sign that she needed to feed off of my emotions.

I should have known this ahead of time cause what I fed her made her press me for nutrition longer cause I started to feel lightheaded, dizzy and also the urge to go pet a cat. As the strange heartsy feeling died down she looks much better and even has that smile that clearly reads 'satisfied' before fluttering her insect wings back to the chariot just as it gets into the air and waves bye while I try to figure out what I was doing before getting smacked upside the head with a letter that was expertly thrown by Snowball.

Grabbing the letter with a seemingly snaking hand that is just moving on its own accord and managing to tear it open and upon reading it I get the reply sent to me last night with an added portion to it as I remove my helmet and placed it onto my hip, attaching it onto a clip.

Sir Roran I sure hope you know what you are doing, you should know that most ponies today are intelligent but most of the time do not entirely know when something is happening such as the Nightmare Moon incident but almost everypony along with our neighbors knows of or heard the Discord incident.

When you do arrive at Canterlot please try to not make a scene or worse a riot with whatever you are brining.

'Well where is the fun in that? Riots are always fun to be in, mostly the great drunken party riot after the battle for the Citadel against Saren and Sovereign but of course by the time I was out of the hospital with my new arms and legs the riots was in full swing, I got drunk, hammered, plastered, smashed and straight up gone and by the time it was over I had to get a new liver. Well worth the new liver and several hours of me puking into several toliets, potted plants, somes shoes and in an elevator.'

Going back inside my home and placing the letter down onto the coffee table since that all it will ever do in its current condition of pristinely polished. Tapping a wall to pass a few seconds of climbing the stairs and ascending to the third floor I took notice that Kara was asleep again on our bed, this time taking the whole bed to herself just like what Katherine did when we were both given an 'infiltration-and-assassinate' mission and for all that was decent she took the whole fucking bed every damn time that it felt like I was in the dog house and had to sleep on the couch the entire time...it was to short for me to sleep properly...fucking back pains. Shaking my head of that shitty mission I unclip my helmet and placed it onto the small bedside table before going back to the stairs.

As I entered the storage room I can see Cuddles getting ready for departure as it folds up into its storage cube form as the little device attaches itself to the top and lifts it off the ground effortlessly. Tapping only three commands to the floating lift and watch it sail out the window and land directly outside of my front door I move over to the prototype suit, and tapped into its open chestpiece as I make my way into its harnesses and straps to ensure that nothing is out of place.

Wiggling into place and tightening the straps on the harness and sealing the suit shut and after a minute of hearing clamps and magnetic locks move and slide into place as I experiemented a bit with movement for both arms and legs to ensure that I have full range of motion in my new combat mech suit as I can feel the internal compartments fill out to ensure that in the event of a collision with anything my body won't get thrown about like a rag doll. Feeling pleased that I have full motion in both arms and legs and knowing that in the case of a complete clusterfuck that I will survive it and only walk away with dented armor and a concussion, otherwise fuck it.

"All Primary, Seconday, and Tetriary Systems are Online and are at Full Power, Activitating Primary and Seconday Power Cores, Initializing Data Systems and Command Screen, Motion Sensor Online, Thermal and Night Vision Optics Online, All Systems Are A Go."

Smiling with professional glee that my suit is fully functional and that it is working like a charm as I look straight ahead as I feel metal sliding on metal inside my armor until I see pieces of armor sliding in front and behind my head. The armor plating started to angle themselves into a helmet shape of that of an old medieval rounded helmet but instead of multiple airholes it only has three glowing red orbs in a triangle pattern.

'So this is what it feels like to have so much power in the palm of ones hand...it feels fucking awesome!'

Just as I mentally shout that I had unknowingly jumped out of the loading doors on the third floor and landed with an overly loud thunk which kicked up any and all dirt and dust around my two heavy-as-hell metallic feet.

"Oh the horror! The horror!" one of the mares that was working at a nearby flower shop shouts before promptly passing out with a comedy style of putting a hoof on her head before falling over.

'Not even five steps out of my home in this armor and I already got a pony to pass out in terror...new record.'

Pulling myself up and looking up at the road I can see at least 25 to at most 50 ponies gawking at me, a few were at a restraunt as one of them was levitating a spoon to his mouth but upon seeing me he dropped the scalding hot soup and in an instant started to hear pony swears as from what I can tell, doing what every man would do in the same situation, grab at your junk to try and to pat it down with napkins to absorb the hot fluids.

"It is just me everypony, the human agent of Princess Celestia, got a letter to come see her immediately...now if you don't mind get out of my way so I can get to Canterlot post haste since the chariot that was sent to me wouldn't support my weight. By move now I mean get your flanks in gear and make a clear path!" I shouted while pulling myself together from the jump, having to recalibrate how much power I should put into the hydraulic systems to prevent another sudden leap like that.

About half way out of Ponyville I hear the pitter patter of tiny feet behind me and as I turn around to see exactly who is following me I feel it tapping the foot plating with a pointy claw.

"Yes Spike? It beter be...important?" I looked a bit confused as he held up a scroll in a shaking hand, he looked like he just ran ten marathons back-to-back without any kind of water, bathroom or rest breaks. As soon as I take the scroll he does a small salute before collapsing in a heap, to tired to even get up as I roll my eyes, picked him up with my left hand and let him stay there as I ever so slowly unrolled the scroll and scanned its contents to find out that my six friends left earlier than I did to Canterlot to wait for me there, appearently there was something important and that I was involved in it as well.

And by involved I mean my break was cut short to help those mares with their problem. A man can never get a damn break around here...just like in the Alliance.

Looking at the road that leads up to Canterlot, and finally staring at the mountain itself and realizing that walking there is gonna be a pain let alone get there within five hours and be able to act decent without going ballistic to any pony that would question me. Something I was not trained for.

Canterlot, 5 Hours Later

In all of my years of partying, drinking, gambling and causing chaos, not once have I seen this much crap put into a welcoming party, I shit you not I saw pigs flying and not by catapults I mean fucking flying with wings, there was talking balloons and party hats, a carriage was busy arm-wrestling a chariot and I wish I was joking but sadly the normal cobblestone path was replaced with pink and white checkerboard patterned floor. Discord, the ruler of all that is chaotic and sadly stupid as well, is sitting on a throne made of cotton candy and chocolate, and I shit you not he was drinking a cup of chocolate milk but the glass was disappearing while the milk itself remained. The master of defying the laws of nature as well it seems.

"Tell me again Discord why are you outside of the palace let alone the one to be the welcoming committee? No, wait nevermind, you probably did something to make sure you got the job...but whatever you did better not come back to bite me in the ass" I grunt as the weight of my combat suit is starting to get annoying.

'As soon as I get home I am going to start implanting counter balance tanks into the limbs and back so the weight distribution is not entirely forced upon me.'

Walking through the streets of Canterlot is easy, walking through the streets with a floating piece of machinery along with the Choas Spirit doing what he does best makes it hard, trying to walk through the streets while every single fucking rich snobbish bastard ponies staring at you as if you are the wandering freak show and are unable to shoot one of them to get them to not stare is fucking horrible. Clearing my throat as loudly as I can and amplify it through the speaker systems created a sound of that of a loud roar of thunder which sends every single snobish pony poking out of their windows to go back in out of fear.

'I hope this trip is worth it...otherwise imma put my foot up someones ass.'

Going to the gates of the palace was annoying as fuck since the few rich ponies that were not scared off started to follow me, most likely trying to see if my services were for sale or to see what I am exactly since being encased in at least one ton of metal, wires, plating and very soft padding. As I got to the palace gates the guards were shocked to see a hulking armored giant walking up to the front door but upon seeing Discord throwing flowers all over the place while they explode into gum drops than they know that it was me and let me in without even trying to hinder me.

"Warning: Airborne Pheromones Detected! Activating Olfactory Scrubers." my suit's internal VI spoke up as I took a few steps into the palace and as it spoke up I looked around, trying to find the source and after a few times looking back and forth I found the source and quickly got the hell away.

"Airborne Air Quality Normal. Deactiviating Olfactory Scrubers."

After avoiding the appearent mare in heat, which kept turning on and off my helmet's air scrubers I managed to get to the throne room which all six mares were talking to both princesses and just as I stepped in, my heavy steps alerted them to my presence along with the even louder thud of Cuddles unhooking from the loader and assembled herself into its proper form.

"There better a damn good reason for cutting my vacation short Celestia...you and Luna, hell even Discord should know that I needed that break from training your royal guards how to be somewhat like me, Private Husky gave me several headaches let alone the urge to strangle the life out of him. So this better be important or otherwise I am just going to walk all the way back home now." crossing my arms and tapping my left armored foot, each tap echoing across the room.

Twilight and Rarity were looking at me with their mouths open as if I just slapped one or both of them, Pinkie Pie was just hopping in place, Fluttershy...I have no idea so I am just going to say is cowering in fear by my armor, Applejack and Rainbow Dash were acting like I just pissed them off and demanded a challenge.

As I tapped my foot impatiently, Cuddles moved to my right and was in a loose forward guard position and Discord was just watching everything from above my head. Celestia cleared her throat loud enough for me to hear as I stopped tapping my foot, waiting to hear my answer.

"You are here because we have just received a report that one of your friends have been reported to be seen up north in a territory of Equestria..." her words hanging in the air as I uncrossed my arms as she now held my undivided attention, "but neither of us know exactly where your friend is let alone who." as she stopped talking I opened up my roster on my omni-tool to see who was alive or who was dead but the data it was showing was corrupted and I could not fix it since the server it was running on was currently 'destroyed and/or damaged'.

"Okay where am I going, when I am leaving and am I allowed to bring my rifles with me to ensure that my friend comes back alive." I said in a determined tone, standing ramrod straight and at attention, Cuddles was trying to do the same but only managed to fall backwards.

Celestia gave off a faint smile as she got off her throne and moved over to a window, the view was appearently overlooking her gardens and beyond that the smallest sliver of the north.

"You are leaving tomorrow with Twilight and her friends, but I should warn you that it will be cold up there." her words carrying added weight than it should have but since one of my 'friends' was at stake than any danger I might face I will meet head on and trample over them.

Giving a salute as Twilight and the rest file out behind her and as I follow them I had only one thing to ask them.

"Just exactly how cold is it up north?"

Train to the Arctic North, Tomorrow Morning

"Fucking Noveria...."