New Shit Different Day

Resuming Memory Sequence

As Hilo'Jaa and I left C-Sec and Shepard behind, we boarded a shuttle to get on board the next Alliance ship, I began to question my current motives for re-joining the Alliance Military, but I knew that the longer I questioned myself the more likely I begin to lose my sanity to my own thoughts. During the shuttle ride to the frigate I began to wonder how Shepard is alive, why did he join Cerberus, and how the hell did Garrus know that I was on Omega. Shaking my head I go back to looking at Hilo, she was busy doing a battlefield cleaning of her favorite shotgun, using a cleaning rag to get rid any dirt or grime that somehow managed to get on her best toy.

During the quiet shuttle ride I saw that during her cleaning the crew compartment of the shuttle released a spray of sorts and on my visor it said that decontamination was in process and before I knew what was exactly going on the sounds of a case popping open and the sudden force of being slammed into the side of the bulkhead was enough to get me out of my hivemind of a thought process. As I turned to face my attacker I saw that it was Hilo and that her mask was off along with the hood, and that bet I made with Garrus while we were talking on the elevator ride up to the docking area, I now owe him 5,000 credits and a free rifle.

Looking at her I saw that her skin was, from what I thought was purple or purple-tinted from the visor, I was wrong when I saw that it was a bit of silver colored and that her hair, which at the time was short to be able to in her suit and helmet, was the color of almonds and the smile she was giving me at that moment told me a few things that made me glad to be single at that moment...

About 20 minutes later into the flight the com system spoke up, the speaker slightly annoyed.

"You both got three minutes to put yourselves back together before Admiral Hackett gives you the next set of orders...and for the love of god use the decontamination chamber..."

We both looked at each other, me trying not to look embarrassed at the predicament we both are placed in, Hilo'Jaa trying not to destroy any of the camera's or listening devices in the cabin we are in. As she was putting her combat suit back on while I was busy trying to find all the pieces of my battle armor, it was currently scattered all over the cabin, my helmet was somehow in the trash bin, my gauntlets were strangely in a glove compartment, my boots were by the door while my greaves, wrist guards, chest plate and weapons were magnetized to the ceiling.

It took me all of the three minutes to put my greaves and chest plate back on but as soon as I put my boots on the doors began to unlock and as soon as the twin doors slid open my gauntlets and wrist guards were where they belong except upside down. My helmet was still in the trashcan but I could give a crap at the moment since it was a get-in/ get-out reporting and I know that Hackett is probably gonna chew me out for almost killing Shepard and getting killed myself.

As we both walked into the corridor I saw that the soldiers were running place to place and the officers were going to different stations, checking on everything.

"Zidane, Idenna...under normal circumstances this would have been professional but as of current events and the constant disappearances of colonists in the Terminus Systems. We are sending you and your team into the Terminus, find the Collector ship, trail it to the next colony world to be hit and force them back off-world." as we both do a mock salute he cleared his throat again grabbing only my attention.

"I also heard you almost got into a shoot-out with Shepard and his team....what were you thinking at that moment?"

I look around a bit, minding my surroundings before giving my reply, "At that moment, to make Shepard lower his pistol before he put a heavy round into my balls rendering me sterile for the rest of my life. I don't mind being shot at, being shot in general but trying to shoot my boys is off-limits." a few of the passing marines and workers that were listening in our talk stopped and was in shock to see and hear a soldier talk like that to a high ranking officer.

It took the both of us a full minute to realize what I just said, but as soon as we did we both shared a deep good hearted laugh until tossed a small pad at me, Hilo'Jaa caught it and scanned it over before passing it over to me to see what it said.

"Sir...your sending us to Horizon? That is pretty damn far and are you sure you are right about this information? For all we know it might not even be attacked let alone be marked as a target." that planet was somewhat brand new and that it was now being fitted with defense turrets to protect itself, all other attacked colonies were defenseless.

"Just get to the damn planet..." agitation and annoyance now in his voice.

"Understood....sir." the same in my own.

'Old man you will die...not today...not tomorrow....but you will die.'

End Memory Sequence 9

Canterlot Palace, Solar Wing, 1 Hour Later

"What the fuck did you do to me? I fell asleep a human being with severe anger issues...and I wake up as...as...the hell am I? Wait a fucking second...that bottle you had...what the hell was in it? And why the hell does it feel like some....somepony hit me over the head with a...did that bottle of yours also fuck up my head? I am a human being not somepony! I said it again! Someone, some one! Not some pony..." both Celestia, Luna and Cadence start laughing at my childish antics while I try to figure out how to get out of bed.

"I hate you....I hate you so much....I hate you so much that if I try to put my thoughts into words on a piece of paper it would explode and light up like thermite." I said while thrashing in my bed before I fall off the side, covered in my medical gown and the blanket that was on-top. As I kept rolling around I eventually and somehow formed a cave of sorts with my blanket, looking out the hole I saw that Luna was on her back laughing her flank off, Celestia using the wall as a support to keep herself standing, and Cadence was leaning on the bed to stop herself from falling over.

Checking myself out in my blanket cave of awesomeness I realized that I had no wings or a horn, which meant that I am normal and lacked anything to give me an advantage if I ever got into a fight but I appeared to be larger than most ponies...maybe twice normal size? But one thing I realized that I did not know was that I could feel with my stumps, hooves, whatever it was....

'Wait a minute...I can feel with my hooves? I couldn't feel shit when my arms and legs since they were robotic, how the hell can that be possible? The only thing that can have feeling if it was organic and there is no way that....'

Looking at my hooves I tried to flex them and just barely I saw them move, taking a small nibble at them I almost had a heart-attack when I got an actual taste from them and actually felt my teeth. Shaking badly in my cave I than bit down on my right front-leg, and pulling back quickly as I started to bleed from the bite wound.

'What...the fuck....did they do to me?' and without a second thought I pounced out of my cave and slammed into Celestia who than was finally knocked out of her laughing streak and was shocked to see me on top of her, my hooves trying to claw at her neck while some of my blood fell onto her now clean coat, which I just ruined with my blood.

"What the fuck was in that bottle! What the fuck did you do to my metallic limbs! Why do I have organic arms and legs again! The fuck!" I was clearly losing my mind and dealing with Discord for 4,000 years was enough to crack the nut, what Celestia did broke the shell right off the nut.

Trying to choke someone with hands are easy, with talons probably just as easy, with hooves? I might as well try to run over a Husk with a golf cart and that is a hard task even with one crawling on the ground while being shot at. After five minutes of only slightly crushing her throat which was than stopped by Celestia rising up off the floor with me in her levitation field while I flailed about trying to inflict pain onto anything within reach.

"Are you done yet?" I shook my head no, "Well just let out your frustration of me turning you into an Earth Pony and the fact that I gave you back your arms and legs with that regeneration spell. You should be happy that you have them back than those fake ones."

'Happy? Why the flying fuck should I be happy? My arms and legs were the main scare factor I had besides the fact that I had biotic's and tech powers...without those legs I can't survive high falls and without those arms I can't punch through weak walls. You just single-hoofidly...single-handedly made me into a common Alliance soldier.'

Looking around in the air, seeing where she put my favorite set of metallic limbs I could not even find them, only seeing a pile of clothes which is now clean and ready to be worn but in my current condition I rather not ruin them or accidentally tear them apart. Hoping they are not trying to figure out how to replicate my arms since that requires actual science and machines to rebuild those gifts from gifted minds.

"So...how the hell do I even walk like this? Sure I knew how to crawl when I was a recruit but come on! I have no idea how you ponies manage to grip thing with hooves let alone manage to even lift things with hooves...just thinking on how you ponies manage it just makes me want to find the nearest glass bottle and bash myself over the head with it....how long does this freaken thing last cause if its permanent than I am going to drown myself in soup or just swallow lethal amounts of poisons." poking the field around me with a hoof I noticed that walking and maybe running may be easy to master but holding things, gripping things or just eating might be a problem that will take me a long ass time to master.

Every pony in the room looks at be before facehoofing, not my fault that they decide to turn me into something that I am at my most useless, being a dragon would have been awesome, whatever the hell Discord is would have been even better, A D-Dog would mean that I can at least use my weapons and maybe my armor...gryphon? Talons and wings= awesome.

"We will give you three hours to learn everything you can about your new self before we outfit you with the royal guard armor and send you to Ponyville, try not to mess up with the learning." with that all three of the royal sisters leave me to my grim fate of learning.

15 minutes after they left the room I begin to rethink my current position in life in my head while trying to learn how my hoof can grip things. Going over to my limbs I saw that they still had my omni-tools attached to them, and since I am going to a place where logic doesn't make sense and most likely will need something logical with me to ensure that any and all sanity that I have left stays with me. Pushing my hooves down at the center of the arm my omni-tool came off and pushing it onto my right fore-hoof before I felt it slightly squeeze down and attach itself onto me before doing the same thing to the other hoof.

"Okay...that took only about 30 minutes but it was worth it...now I just got to practice with using this thing...hopefully not set myself on fire like last time when I was issued a military version..." I tapped a hoof on it and an error window popped up, barely tapping a hoof on it I figured out that I had to be freaken gentle with this thing and take my time with it instead of my usual rapid tap-n-go method.

2.15 Hours Later

"Are you sure he is ready sister?" Luna said while approaching the door to my room.

"I am sure he is, he spent the last three hours practicing and I am sure he can do anything a regular pony can do." Celestia responded while leading a servant who was wheeling next to them an ponyquin wearing armor of the royal guard, along with a single spear and a sword.

"You hold him in high regards for his actions but being as he is I have my doubts that he will act like a pony let alone not cause harm to anything while in the Diamond Dog lair." Luna countered, looking outside the window to see her lunar guards exercising.

"Well how about a bet than. If he follows my instructions to the letter than you will have to raise the sun for me for the next two weeks." she said with a smirk while extending a hoof out to Luna.

"And if he doesn't follow your instructions than you will have to raise the moon for the next three weeks along with my part of the paperwork." with a shake of their hooves the bet was placed.

As they opened the door they saw me trying to write something with my right omni-tool holding in place a quill and ink, so far only managing to write down my name and age before tipping the quill back into the ink well. Looking up at them I saw the armor and made a small smile since I would not go barging into a probable fortified lair with no protection, looking at the two weapons I saw that the sword was the one I came here and was polished to military presentation standard and the sheath it came with was cleaned of its old dusty appearance. As I got up to go change into my new gear I saw that the armor was not the same as the guards outside or inside, it had more armor plating, the helmet was a complete cover, besides the metal plating's I saw small chain links beneath it and cloth below the chains for hopeful comfort.

"Erm...new armor, my favorite sword, a spear that I pray is for looks only...quick question: What kind of armor is that?" I pointed at the pony version of medieval full plate.

"That Roran is called Tortoise Armor, it is like your armor except...its made of steel and is more easily to break and bend. It will cover you from head to tail and provide the best protecting for you in case you get attacked or in your case since you are not used to your temporary body, walking and tripping."

'Well at least the armor can protect my entire body...rather not lose a limb as a pony cause its hard as fuck enough when it comes walk moving or writing.'

Looking it over I press my hooves onto the helmet and placed my head in it, looking out the small holes placed for where the eyes are I thought that it would have been much more efficient if it was crystalline glass but remembered that these ponies don't even know what that is. Sighing sadly and with a huff and some assistance placed the armor onto my body, which at the time I did not notice but my coat if you can call it that, was a light brown, farmers tan at best, my hair...or mane was the same color, black, and my eyes that I saw in the armor's reflection was still the same two red orbs, so I can at least see in the dark or very far distances.

"So than...when do I leave?" I nervously said while inspecting myself, making sure everything was on right and felt right, doing a few laps around the room before sitting down, looking at Celestia with eyes that said 'When this is over, you will pay for this BS.'

"You are to leave now."

'No lunch break I guess...'

Canterlot Palace, Main Gate, Afternoon

"So let me just get this straight, you are telling me to not kill any of the dogs that have captured your ponies...you do know that they are using them as slaves and will probably eat them if their usefulness has ended. So follow your rules, do not insult anyone, and try to answer and of Twilight's questions....simple enough."

"And try not to do anything foolish please." I tried to give her the middle finger but since I have hooves instead of a hand she only got me waving a hoof good-bye to her before the pegasi that was hooked up to the chariot took off which thankfully I was strapped into it cause if I wasn't I would have fallen off face first into the cobble ground...and get a very bad mouth full of pebbles.

About ten minutes into the ride I realized that it was quiet as hell, it was cold, and that I was starving. Looking to my pilots I saw that both of them looked the same except that one was a dude the other wasn't.

"So...since we are far from Canterlot and the royals...you two wanna just speak your mind or gonna be like statues the entire time." the silence was thick enough to be cut in half with my sword or stabbed with the spear that I was given. Taking that silence I pointed my left hoof at them, dialed down the charge and used overload on both of them, using it only at 1% charge, and 1% is the equivalent of a static discharge from when you are wearing wool socks and dragging your feet on the carpet.

That got their attentions mighty quickly. "I said you two can speak freely or do I have to start a very boring story of my life to you two." as soon as I said story of my life they spoke up immediately. Fucking assholes.

"Okay, what do you wanna talk about than human." At least they know what I am, would be awkward to explain that to them.

"Well, since no pony is listening in on us, lets talk about ourselves some of the more adult questions." none of them spoke up. "When was the last time you two had sex." not a single sound, "The Couples Tango? Horizontal Dance? Happy Time? Roll in the Hay?" the last one actually got them to make a sound of acknowledgement.

"Uh yea...two weeks ago for me." damn dude, you are outscoring me.

"A few months ago..." she needs to get laid just by the tone in her voice.

"For me...if I was not trapped in stone for billions of years...I would say give or take a month. Maybe less I don't know." Actually if I remembered correctly it was somewhat exactly a month ago.

"Okay, strangest thing you have ever eaten?"

"Strangest thing I ever ate was a shrimp, look like ugly little insects to me." that I can agree with you on.

"For me I would have to say cat food." you serious...you ate cat food? Both me and the stallion just looked at her with a face of at first creeped out than flat out 'what the fuck'.

"The strangest thing I have ever eaten was pyjak burgers. Damn thing was nasty as hell and tasted like I just brushed my tongue with a shit log." all honesty that was what the thing tasted like...a shit log.

Both of them looked at me, questioning looks on their faces before I saw a small town beginning to take shape a few miles away.

"Okay one last question, if you could fuck anyone in the world who would it be." please let it be someone that I can use to blackmail them with.

First one to speak up was the mare which surprised me a bit since the stallion was gonna speak up before sealing his mouth shut. "I would probably want to rut with...Blueblood." That pompous asshole? I'm still a bit shocked to learn that even he somehow manages to get some tail when he acts like such an asshole to everyone and mostly everything.

"For me...hooves down Luna." Oh let the blackmailing begin.

"Well..nice choice dude...lady, Blueblood is the biggest asshole I have ever met, you should have gone with someone else." the landing could have gotten smoothly but the two talked quietly to one another and made the landing feel like I was in a Mako that just went over a small cliff and did a craptastic landing.

Ponyville, Afternoon

"Okay, Twilight will send the letter when the mission is over. Take care and try not to make the next landing rough." waving barely my hoof at them since wearing a probable half-ton of armor would be very tiring without any modifications to it. The pair took off again after only a minute of touching down and dropping me off, so far Ponyville...god I am going to gag if I keep hearing that name...so far the grass is green the ponies are happy and it is boring as fuck.

Grabbing the only things I brought, which was my sword, the spear that I will use as a torch or as firewood and a knife, and my bag which is currently holding my clothes for when I do change back in about...18 hours or so, looking at the town I noticed that every single pony was busy setting themselves up for an attack against the dogs and by the sound of the the hammer on nails and the overly loud voice yelling at them to work faster, my guess of an attack was rather correct or they were doing this for practice. Upon barely stepping within an inch toward the town I was magically yanked in, dropped to the floor, and was almost kicked in the head until my would-be attacker stopped.

"Okay...not even five minutes here and I get captured...not so bad." a pink blur came up to me and at that moment I wanted to rip my ears off and eat them just to not listen to the pink menace. Half way through her rapid verbal assault I shoved my protected hoof into her mouth while shudder at the thought that if she kept talking I would have to cause bodily harm to her.

"Easy there sugarcube, no need to get all uppity for my friend here. We need ya help to keep 'em pesky dogs out of our here town." Well at least she didn't change in the time I was out cold, on an operating table or having my world turned upside down for fun.

Looking at Applejack than Pinkie Pie I just shrug my shoulders before going to a turned over cart and looked over it, seeing Rainbow Dash keeping an eye over the town until she came flying down to me. If I had known that she would be flying at a high rate of speed I would have thought to duck and hope for the best but wearing shiny metal armor in the middle of the afternoon is like shooting a flare at night while wearing a suit made of neon lights with a large sign pointing right at yourself. The impact from the collusion was roughly equal to getting hit by a concussive round, it will knock you on your ass and leave you breathless for a while.

As the dust settles I found myself to be on my back while Rainbow Dash was straddling my chest, if I was not wearing armor, or yet was even interested in ponies, than this would have been a very...embarrassing moment until I realized that she was glaring right at me until she looked down at herself to see the position we were in until her wings slowly began to extend but before I saw them go to half-mast she got off and galloped off, leaving me with a very confused look on my face while I began to wonder what the hell just happened.

"Guard get up please! We need your help with these ruffians that have invaded our home and ponyknapped some of our dear friends." Well at least the white mare didn't try to talk to me to death or crash into me. Getting up was a problem since my armor was heavy and that I was stuck on my back meant that I had figure out a way to get up, but luckily I had the attention of a unicorn at the moment and was magic'd up and was back on my hooves.

"Thank you kindly ma'am, I am to report to Twilight Sparkle before I head off to the Diamond Dog lair to retrieve the missing civilians." looking over to see that Rarity was busy handing out some scarfs to the few fillies and colts that are safe behind the barricades, as I looked at her she pointed toward the giant tree, at first I thought she was joking but I shit you not her home was actually a tree and that out front it says that it was a library.

'You got to be fucking kidding me...she lives in a tree...what is this fucking Middle Earth? I saw a gingerbread house that was an actual candy store, a circus ride that is a clothing store, but really now...a tree that is a library. I swear if this shit goes anymore south I am going to hit Space Mexico...'

Upon entering the library I found out quickly that I just entered at a really bad time when the nerd was busy levitating books around the room left and right,a few hitting me in the head but since my head was protected by a strong helmet I hardly felt it...hardly. Coughing loudly I saw that Twilight hasn't slept in at least two days by the small bags under her eyes and that her mane was unkempt and wild...just like me when I am on sniper detail and haven't moved an inch in days while waiting for my target to show up.

"Oh sorry...you must be the mercenary that Celestia has brought in to help us."

'When was I a mercenary? Oh right...' "Yeah, I am the merc, but tell me how much do you know about me."

She was shocked by that question but she straightens up, levitates a pair of book reading glasses onto her muzzle, pulls up a scroll from her saddle and begins to read off my so called 'record' that Celestia made up while I was apparently knocked out.

"From what Princess Celestia sent me, it reads here that you have served with the Royal Guard for 7 years before quitting, than you joined the Crimson Talons in the Gryphon Empire, it says you have...killed gryphons and diamond dogs....and a short temper..." "Oh my...I...I'll come back later..." oh perfect...the queen of all that is shy was behind me the entire time...

"Yes I have killed before, and I do kind of have a short temper, only with ponies that question my motives. I will get the job done and go home, I could have said no to Ol' Celly but since she currently is hanging something over me..."

'More like a horrible curse of a bottle of unknown liquid that made me like this but don't care until I am back at the castle.'

"But anyways just tell me where the ponies were taken so I can bring them back and get my paycheck, I have a barrel of cider with my name on it."

I was lying like a champ since from what I know that most ponies don't know how to lie and those that do make a funny face while doing it, so its like a failure rate of 90% in lying...it could be more I don't know I'm not that good with society statistics.

Before any of them could respond I heard Rainbow Dash speak up loud enough and the sound of a bunch of dogs howling loudly was my signal to go outside. Running as fast as I can with all my armor on I made it to the barricade and saw that their was at least 15 dogs holding crude looking swords, axes, and spears while wearing even cruder armor that looked like they raided a kitchen store and took all the pots and pans at the outskirts of the town near the forest, which to me at the time looked like something out of Scooby Do.

"You lost ponies to them?" I pointed a hoof at the idiots in tin, "I can easily wipe them out in twenty seconds or less! Just tell me where their cave is so I can just bum-rush it and get this job over with." but before I put my front hooves on top of the barricade I was yanked down by Twilight and was held down on the cobblestone ground.

"Yes we lost some of our friends to them but they are holding some of the fillies and colts in their lair...they said that if we try to rescue them than they will kill them..." tears were starting to form under her eyes, a few of the other parents of those children were crying as well. A hostage situation...perfect.

Looking over at the dogs I saw that one of them was an alpha and the smaller dog next to him was holding up a white rag tied to a stick, my guess they wanted to talk to them and make demands before they release their captives. Sizing them up I spotted that all of them was wearing pot lids on their arms and chests, only five of them was wearing actual armor made from probably iron or steel...maybe both I don't know but those dogs were bulky and looked bored at the moment.

"Well...I am not going to be standing here all day waiting, I'm going over there to speak to them, hear them out than waste them before moving onto their lair and getting those civilians out of here. If we wait to long than they might start kill off their captives until we give into their demands." Glancing at Twilight I saw that she was still on the verge of crying until I noticed that her purple lizard assistant was nowhere to be around, that was when I noticed that he was taken as well.

'So that is why she is sad as hell and looks like she was in a wrestling contest and lost, lost her assistant...hmmm'

As I took another step outside I saw that none of them were paying much attention to the things around them and that gave me a slightly brilliant and evil idea. Looking back at Twilight and the others I got a glimpse that they got into a fight like this before but never when killing and death is involved.

"Okay...this is my plan and you are probably going to hate it and most likely try to talk me out of it but it won't work on me, not even with weaponized cuteness or sugary food will tell me otherwise. I am going out there to talk to them on my terms. Do not ask how I am going to get them onto my terms..." as I got quiet I raised my voice so everyone within the town can hear me "...For those that are not about to die please look away from me, thank you for your cooperation." almost instantly every single pony stopped staring at me and turned their heads, one of them even got up and flew off over a building to not look at me.

Going to the edge I heard the faint sounds of hooves and wings behind me, tilting my head to the side I saw that Rainbow Dash, Applejack and Twilight were coming over to me until they moved into what I thought was a staggered formation behind me and that I was the spearhead of the group. I guess if they wanted to see the show I am about to enact than they better have brought their raincoats.

As soon as we left the barricade it was quickly closed up behind us, leaving us that left to fend for ourselves but at the time I could care less about myself since I was covered in armor and held a rank of badassness of infinity, the others on the otherhoof...hand were not even making an attempt to protect themselves, so if they got whacked off than that is on their heads.

Our slow march to the outskirts of the town I took in the landscape to asset the area and try to find anything that might hold a tactical advantage but so far only the tree's serve it since they can conceal movement and is most likely a good place to hide, now I just got to find a reason to use it.

5 minutes into our march we came somewhat face to face with my opposition, looking them dead in their eyes, not even blinking since my eyes are still robotic and I toned down the redness to give it a semi-normal appearance to anyone that might remove my helmet. The mares behind me were slightly scared by the dogs while I just stood there acting like they were nothing since in hindsight they are nothing to me and that I can easily reduce them to mounds of ashes or piles of frozen dog meat or whatever tickles my fancy at the proper moment of execution. As I was looking them over their Alpha left his group behind to meet us half way, I turned my head and nodded at the three before leaving them behind to speak to whoever this mutt is.

"So...you be pony that we speak with...you want ponies back? We want gems and metals. You no get ponies back. We get what we want...you look stronger than other weak ponies...you come with us now or female ponies get hurt." This dumbass is the worst leader for a species I have ever met right to Udina, I guess it is time for my rebuttal.

"You listen here mutt, you will give me back those ponies or I will cut off your head at the shoulders and mount it on a spike or hang it over my fireplace a a trophy. You have only two choices here dog, give back the ponies you kidnapped and get to keep your head and your lives or I get to kill all 15 of you, go to your lair and slaughter every single bitch and cub there to rescue those ponies. Either way I win so choose." when I was done talking that dog was fuming, I swear that if there was a hot-plate on his head it could probably turn an egg into a sunny-side up.

As he moved his right paw to his back to probably pull out a club or some blunt object to beat me over the head with I used my omni-tool to lift my sword from my back and place it right next to his throat in only two seconds, he did not react at first but when he felt the cold metal touching his jugular veins and as he slowly moved his paw to the grab the blade I slit his throat before using my other omni-tool to lift the spear off my left side and threw it at the dog holding a crossbow, the spearhead entered his left arm and exited his ribcage, his body hanging off the forest floor as his right hand grabbed the shaft of it in mid-flight but the force of it was ejected and the power behind it left him hanging two feet off the ground blood spilling out until he croaked and died.

"Anyone else want to break the deal?" All of them charged together in staggered lines.

As they charged towards me I had a slight epiphany about how to take care of these dogs and still manage to not kill them at the same time, figuring that would be boring but the way I would extract the information I need from them would easily make up for the lack of bloodshed today.

Watching them advance unto me I activate my omni-tools, put the setting of 'Cold Snap' at its lowest so it wouldn't straight up kill them in an instant but instead leave them from the neck down a ice block. At the 15 meter mark I sit on my armored ass, pointing my fore-hooves at them, the dogs seeing the shiny gloves and charge even faster to try and rip them from my body, not knowing their impending freeze. At the 3 meter mark I change the settings from narrow hose to wide breath, and as soon as I can tell they are close enough to see the whites of their eyes I cut loose. The sound of a sharp loud hiss and the billowing cloud of icy air turned 9 of the 15 dogs into fresh ice blocks but the rest climbed over their frozen comrades and at 1 meter I took a mallet to the dome and flew into a tree as my sword flew off in a different direction, my eyes a bit blurry and out of focus but immediately clear up and go to 50% glow, my bell being rung by a mallet to the head.

"Owww....owww.....fuck....owww....your ass is grass." getting off the ground I charge up another wintery blast of doom to the beasts with the IQ of a red sand addict, who at the moment was rushing towards me, some of them with their jaws opening and closing in a simulation that if I die they are going to gnaw on my corpse which is not going to happen. Taking my sword and placing it into my clenched jaws and got into a defensive stance waiting for the impact of at least one body.

As the dogs slammed into me I managed to stab at least two of them before my sword was knocked from my teeth which hurts like hell, the two I stabbed are clutching onto their injured shoulder's, the bleeding not stopping but the pain is very much there and is causing it to get only worse. The remaining dogs begin to pummel, stomp and even chew upon my body as it lies on the floor, their teeth cracking and denting my armor while at the same time also cracking and destroying their own teeth which amuses me as one of them reels back in pain from his fangs cracking and probably shattering to the floor.

Slowly getting lifted off the ground I was than dropped to the floor and than the feeling of a hammer bashing my helmet in was enough for me to quickly scramble to my hooves, the feeling of metal touching my nose...I think its called a nose that is, was enough to tell me that I need to stop dicking around and finish this crap before it gets out of hand. The clicking sound that came out of my hooves was enough for the dogs to look at them, and than later paw and claw at to try and steal them from me before they were both blasted by another cold cloud of ice to the face, their facial expressions forever stuck as shocked, surprised, and one of them, cold as hell.

Huffing and puffing I claw at the ground to get back up, exhausted from the armor, the heat inside of it being unbearable, the metal that is bent to hell is annoying me all to hell and being banged upside the head by a mallet was enough to ruin any happy thoughts for me currently for the day.

"Twilight...is there any buildings nearby that we can borrow for an interrogation...these 15 popsicle's are going to sing like little songbirds when I am done with them...but I am not going to do it when they are out here...and maybe some water will do me some good..." I stumbled a bit to my hooves, trying to yank my helmet off to get some fresh air that wasn't polluted by my breath, the stench of sweat and the soon to be scent of blood.

As the mares behind me were watching me fight I noticed a few things that made me realize that they are cowards when it is straight up confrontations when the enemy has weapons or any tactical advantages.

'How the hell did these ponies even survive this long? With the freaken dogs, dragons and other mythical creatures I saw in the picture books they should have died out or at least be in hiding....if they were protected the the two royal ponies the entire time than I am ashamed to even know that kind of cowardice.'

Clopping my hooves a bit to get her attention she snapped out of whatever kind of daze she was currently transfixed in and spoke up. "Yes, there is the barn over at Sweet Apple Acres but it is currently being rebuilt...are you sure it is safe to place them there?" I yanked my helmet off my head and threw it down onto the ground, grunting a bit from the exertion that I placed upon myself from the fighting.

"Missy, they are only going there for as a temporary interrogation room, if they tell me what I need to know than no harm will come to them, but if they resist than well hey, that's torture for you." picking my helmet off the floor with my omni-tool which by the way was nicely hidden away in the armored sleeves that form around my front-lets and protected by what I can guess half an inch of solid steel and probably two centimeters of small metal chain-links.

As I placed the helmet on my shoulder to keep it from dropping, attaching the small loop around the hook on my right shoulder I went over to the barn with 15 frozen dogs in tow, I began to think of a way to torture and interrogate them to force feed me the information I need for the rescue and I better to it fast and right, I rather not be stuck in a situation where I begin to turn back to my normal self wearing pony armor....that might break me or worse fuck me up. Ten minutes of walking to the barn I realized that it in appearance similar to the barns of old Earth except not as advanced and not....light red. Getting Twilight to move the dogs in a large circle was easy but getting her to leave was hard because she wanted to be with me when I 'question' the captured raiders but I know deep in my hopefully still fake heart that I will not allow her to remain in the same room till its over.

Sweet Apple Acres, Unfinished Barn, Afternoon

"Okay Twilight, leave the room so I can begin and don't bother with trying to stay inside....it will get messy." with that I began to push her out the double doors but I landed face first into the soft dirt when I heard the sounds of a loud pop behind me. The lavender mare just looking at the dogs with inquisitive stares, trying to piece together how a regular pony used ice magic to freeze the diamond dogs, for me all I had to do was use Snap Freeze on them on the lowest of settings to prevent them from exploding into dog chunks instantly.

Sighing in defeat I just close the doors with her still inside, she is levitating what I think was an old-fashioned notebooks, a quill and a bottle of ink, which I might try to steal to use as prank material if I return to the castle....if...

Going to the first dog I unfreeze his head by cracking it with plated hooves till he shook his head a few times and looked right at me, my red eyes glowing slightly to try an intimidate the poor bastard into giving me what I want. It did not work it only resulted in him spitting on my face. Shaking the dog slobber off I go to my tools of the trade in the barn and came back with a small hatchet being held in my mouth and using the blunt part of the small axe I crack the ice on his right arm till his elbow was free from the ice, placing the blade against his elbow I stare at him.

"Now we could do this the easy way or we can do it the hard way, the choice is yours. Tell me where you're hiding the hostages and the location of your hideout. Speak quickly for you only have seconds to tell me and walk out of here with your life." bringing the sharp blade against his elbow I turn my head a bit to make the sharpened edge bite into his elbow creating a papercut wound and watched the blood slowly weep out of the cut. Looking at him I saw that he thought I was bluffing with my threat since almost all the ponies I've seen were weak and flimsy when they see death or gore present and he thinks that I am one of them, well prepared to be proven wrong.

Rearing my head back I bring the blunt handle of the axe to his elbow, breaking it and forcing it to bend partially in the wrong direction, the dog howling out in pain as the broken joint slightly moves back into its previous position. Glaring right at the dog I move my head back again and return the blunt edge back onto his elbow, a loud crunching sound was heard and I saw that I crushed a few pieces in his elbow, now looking like an old saggy bag of flesh. The dog now whimpering in pain as he glares right at me, his resolve still holding out against me.

"Tell me what I want to know. Tell me the location of the ponies and your lair and you get to walk out of this place with your life. If you try to lie to me about either of them you will lose your life and I will hunt down your family and kill them as well. So TALK!" bringing the axe to his head I placed it right at his neck, letting it rest there temporary and to let him feel that his next choice will get him killed if he refuses to speak up.

Silence filled the barn as we stared at each other, the faint sound of growling was my cue to bring the axe back and to look him dead in the eye. Sighing a bit I take the axe and brought it down upon his neck, his neck now bleeding as the axe gnaws down and forces his life essence to spill out onto the ice. He howls again but still doesn't speak up and growls even louder at me, shaking my head I yank the axe out of his neck and in a swift motion brought it back down onto him but striking his head, the sound of his skull cracking reverberated inside the barn until it was once again silent.

"Useless.....time for prisoner number 2." I said while casually yanking the axe out of the skull of the deceased dog, Twilight was in shock that I just killed a sentient being without any regret or remorse. Moving over to the second dog I chisel my way toward the head but instead come up with an even more devious plan to extract the information out of him. Slowly cracking over his head I begin to carve out a bowl shaped reverse dome began to form until I reached his head and allowed him to breath and speak again.

Going over to the side of the barn I found a few buckets filled with water and a step ladder and brought them behind the dog, rearing up I got to his head and looked down upon him, seeing that he was slightly scared and whimpered by the sight of me.

"You look oddly familiar...have we met before? No no that can't be right...I remember telling you a few weeks ago that if I ever saw you or your pack of dogs again that I will massacre all of you and play with your bodies and your bones...so tell me what are you doing all the way out here?" I asked, bringing a few buckets up and placed them near his head, the sounds of whimpering and the probability of him crapping himself was evident as he only stared at me.

"Tell me now or else I will just go ahead with my promise and kill you and everything you cherish and love." Bringing a bucket to his head and dumping the water in, making it slowly rise to his chin. The very thought of slowly drowning was enough to send that dog over the edge and started to talk rapidly and partially incoherently.

After a while of waiting for him to lose his breath and try to reclaim lost oxygen I stood on my rear legs and staring right at him with a soul piercing glare, his ears folded downward as he spoke up but in a frightened and scared manner.

"I..I don't know....we told steal ponies....please no kill me!" okay...at least I got a little bit of intelligence from the scared bastard. Bring another bucket to his head I slightly spill some water in to get him to keep talking. "Th...the dogs are holding ponies in the forest!" I poured the rest of it in as it reaches his lips forcing him to tilt his head back. "That all I know! I promises it!" I smile grimly as I put the third bucket down and kicked the ice a few times to let it crack and crumble around him.

"Get the fuck out of here...and if I ever see you again trying to cause harm or sew the seeds of chaos here. I will kill you, slowly and painfully." the dog scampered out of the barn and ran off somewhere out of sight, turning my head to the other 13 dogs I brought back the hatchet and started to undo the third dog, releasing his left arm and than stomping on the elbow to break it, I than release his head from the icy prison only for me to raise the axe and bring it down near his fingers.

Looking at him I point with my hoof his hand, than to my hatchet than pointed to the dead dog in the corner of the room before looking at him and shook the axe a bit to get his attention again.

"Tell me what I want to know and you get to live, don't tell me you end up like that fool in the corner...start talking." walking to his head I checked to see if he was even staring at me and when I got within spitting distance he made a futile attempt to bite me but instead got nothing but air. I waited two minutes before I took the axe and brought it down onto his thumb, severing the digit and making it bleed out onto the small wooden table, moving my hoof to it I set my omni-tool to Incineration but lowered it to 2% power and sealed the wound shut while burning his fur off his paw.

Waiting another two minutes I yanked the axe out of the table and swung again, cutting off his pinky finger and sealed off the wound before he bled to death until he yelled out.

"Alright! Alright I talk I talk! Ponies you seek are in forest! We took them to old stone castle! It our home!" Okay, know where they are but where are they kept and how many enemy foot troopers are there....

I slowly bring the axe onto his pointing finger, letting him feel the warm metal rest against it. Turning my head to Twilight I saw that she was slowly turning green from the smell of iron in the air and from the sight of blood and a dead body in the room, clopping my hooves she wrote it down and than proceeded to cover her ears and eyes from what she thinks I am about to do.

"Thank you for your cooperation...and now, get the fuck out of here and if I ever even hear or see your sorry ass ever again, I am going to cut it off and mount it over my fireplace, right next to your head." I broke him out of the ice and than turned to the other 12.

"Hmmm....12 frozen dogs...I guess I can talk to one more...see how many beasts and dogs lie in wait for me..." Dragging one of the smaller dogs to the table and picking up the leather straps and placing it along side the dog, I started to chisel my way to his arms and legs, freeing them and tightly strapping it down with my teeth since hands are currently not an option for me at this point in time. Breaking more of the ice I noticed that this dog was different from the others, had a slightly thinner body frame, arms and legs look weaker and more slim....a female dog...bitch...

Looking the now 'female' dog over I saw that she must have been young by the counts of no scars, no torn clothing, frail and weak in appearance and also seemed to be brand new to the game of raiding and pillaging. Waiting for her to wake up from the sudden freeze induced sleeping I decided to see her from an better view, climbing onto the table I was now directly over her and saw that she must be at least young...a teenager of sorts not even an adult...that she for some reason oddly smells like weak perfume made from roses and lavender...

"Okay...wake up now....come on now....hey...hey....wake up...wake up....hmmm..." I began to poke her face with my hoof, seeing if that would wake her up but instead I got a groan as she rolled her head away from my hoof, climbing down from the table I went and grabbed a wet sponge with my teeth and arced the angle of flight and chucked it, the sponge landing on the side of her head, my result from the toss was the bitch rolling her head again letting the sponge hit the floor with a loud thud. Annoyance and Defiance was this female and every attempt I made to wake her up has failed, looking over at the water buckets I found one filled with hot water, brought it over to her, and dumped the contents over her head with a smug grin on my face as she wakes up.

"Now that you are wide awake and probably wondering what is going on, let me explain it slowly to you so you can understand me. I have taken you and fourteen other dogs captive from the outskirts of Ponyville...and in return that you fourteen get to walk out of here alive and mostly in one piece. Tell me how many of your kind are hiding out in the forest castle?" talking slowly to the girl I walked around the table, minding her paws in case she tries to take a swipe at me even with while being strapped down.

The girl just looks at me as I circled back and was looking down at her from above her head, just staring downward until she blinked and looked away. Taking that as a sign of defiance I went over to my hatchet, still covered in still blood and fur, and brought it over to her face for her to see.

"This is how it is going to work, you act against what I want, and this hatchet will remove a random part of your body, I am going to do a mental coin flip and see what gets cut off and than with the severed limb I will show it to you. I will give you a numbing agent to prevent you from knowing what I am removing from your body." dragging the axe across her body I saw that she actually tried to worm her way out of the straps but couldn't, and as I kept dragging the blade against her fur I saw that she was shivering and will soon become useless to me.

Removing the hatchet from her fur I threw it near Twilight's horn, which she was lucky to duck her head in time to record everything I was saying but when she turned around to find the source of the loud thud she saw my hatchet and saw me standing over the dog, my face close to hers. Returning my gaze to the dog I resumed my soul-piercing glare, my red mechanical eyes beginning to glow to a hauntingly hellish red, slowly becoming nothing more than twin red orbs in my skull bellowing red lights down upon her face until she finally screamed out for me to stop with the stare, making myself slowly turn down the brightness.

"Please stop that!" At least that got her to speak up... "There was the fifteen of us, the fifty-eight from the tribe that was under the mountain city, and hundred-and-twenty-three from my tribe, we are forming a new city within the forest for our freedom from the dogs to the east." Information is key and this girl just gave me exact numbers....she may be useful...

Moving off the table a bit I went over to Twilight, told her how many dogs there was, than told her to leave the room, for what I am about to do might not be something I want an egghead to see. Closing the barn doors behind her as she protested against being forced out but I ignored her words by taking her quill and notebook, and locking the door behind me.

Walking back to the dog in question I climbed back ontop the table, sat down ontop of her and used her stomach as a writing table and began to write down what I had to say so she wouldn't freak out from my eyes glowing again.

Tearing the page out of the notebook I held it up in my teeth for her to see and as she read it she turned slightly pale from the part of me killing her comrades and I thought I saw something else but shook the thought as she kept reading, as she came down to the last part she nodded her head yes as I slowly undid the straps on her feet and legs.

"You made the right choice...now hold still and if you try to flee by yourself than you will be caught, and I will do whatever I please to your slender form."

And now to bear fruit my haphazard plan.

Canterlot Castle, Afternoon

As the sun rose to the center of the sky, the castle activities was in full swing as the servants, nobles, diplomats and royalty were up and about, tending to their business like any other day, except that today was in a slight uproar when a few of the wealthy ponies and the not so wealthy came to the castle to ask about the mysterious figure that rescued their son's and daughter's from the Diamond Dogs two weeks ago and just now hearing about the location of the hero.

When the ponies that wanted to see the being in question that was responsible for rescuing their young and for kicking the Dogs out of their lair near their country's capital, but when they ask for the location of the hero all they get is that he is currently 'Indisposed' at the time, which to few of the ponies acknowledged it and went back to the lobby while a few were persistent and a few even demanded to see the hero but only got the cold shoulder.

During the time it took Celestia to return to her duties and go through three meetings on the economy's current condition and what it will look like in the coming weeks and months a guard walks into the room holding a letter in his mouth, quickly handing it off to Celestia before quickly leaving the room before he got dragged into the boring world of economics.

As she opens the letter she slowly grew a smile, noticing the hoofwriting of her student and merrily read the letter at a gentle pace but as she looks at it, her smile gradually began to turn into a frown than into one of shock.

"He did what!" every pony in the conference room turned to look at their now frustrated leader.

Ponyville, Sweet Apple Acres Barn, Twenty Minutes Ago

"Okay here is the plan...you all take me back to your lair, said that three of your comrades deserted after seeing the sight of royal guards approaching, and managed to capture one of them and brought said guard back as a slave and that more ponies will be coming to try and reason with your leader. I get into the dungeons I than break out, sparing your lives while killing anything that tries to stop us and than break out of the castle with the captives and get the hell out of the forest...any questions?" one dog raised his hand while slightly yawning.

"Yes Oswald."

"Will boss get angry if we only bring one pony?"

"No he will not get angry, he might be happy that you all managed to 'capture' a royal guard wearing full plated armor, he might even let you eat first...probably."

"Any other questions? No? Good....alright lets do this."

"On the count of three, we burst out the back door and to the forest...got it?"

"One....two....THREE!"

Canterlot Palace, Afternoon

"Yea...he would do that...."

Everfree Forest, Afternoon, Twenty Minutes Later

"God damn this place sucks....its just like the jungles of Vietnam all over again....fucking hated that part of my training..." grumbling out loud for all to hear it, the forest as I would put it sucks major ass. The trees are all twisted and gnarled, the beasts are annoying as hell as they try to find a way to get the tasty meat that is me, and the occasional ghost sighting. In all this forest sucks so much ass that I could not even find a person or a thing that is the same level of ass suckage.

We have been walking in this forest for give or take twenty minutes and it was starting to bother me because I hate the silence of it, the semi-depressing trees and the constant barking and yelping of both the dogs that surround me and the wolves that are around us. Looking over my shoulder I saw that female dog was using me as a riding horse, which to me was pretty fucking ironic at the time, me being a horse/ pony thing, and the female riding me...hopefully in a good way. Earlier she told me her name as I told her mine, in case we ever get separated during my part of the plan where I kill any dog that tries to impede my path to the forest and freedom, she called herself Kara and she is the 'runt' of her pack of dogs. From what she told me being the runt is like being the nerd in school, everyone ignores or hates you, you will never get far down the road and that you can only be successful if you push yourself to the breaking point. That and she is at her maximum height and will most likely never grow another inch or two in her life

A few minutes later down the beaten path we have taken we come across and old creaky and shitty bridge that amazed me for it hadn't collapsed and fell down the abyss below it. After we have crossed that cursed bridge I saw what looked like a decayed castle far ahead of me and that the wildlife around it has slowly begun the process of reclaiming the keep and to extend the forest onto and into it. Within five minutes we were at the main gate of the castle which to me was embarrassing, the guards were asleep, the dogs on the wall were playing a game of sorts with cards while one was smoking a cigar at the moment. At that moment an old picture of four dogs playing poker while one was smoking a cigar while another was wearing those poker hats popped up into my head and I snickered a bit while enjoying the funny moment alone before getting kicked in the sides by Kara, which only made me snicker harder until I was stopped by going head first into a door.

Entering the castle I saw that it matched its outside to a T, it looked decayed and in shambles, everything was a mess and hadn't seen a good servant or maid in decades in its current condition. Taking a rough kick to the sides again we all moved forward to the throne room, where sitting upon the also broken chair was a dog that was just as big as the damaged throne but short, like a fat dog only expanding in a spherical shape.

"So...runt....you managed to capture pony...guard pony....good...you make us happy...send him to mines...afterwards when he is done, he is yours to do with."

'Wait what? Do as she pleases with me? This can't be good...'

And with that I was led to the mines, stripped of my armor, my helmet and spear since I left my sword behind at the barn, rather not take that valuable weapon on a suicide mission. After my stripping was complete I heard the faint sounds of metal hissing and as I turned my head I felt the hot iron press against my flank, burning something into my fleshy hide, and from all the times I was burnt, set on fire by my hands or hands of others, or just unlucky to be hit by an inferno grenade, this pain takes the cake by a shitload. Clenching my teeth and letting out a groan of extreme discomfort and pain I shut my eyes and waited for it to be over, but as soon as it was done I felt another hot iron press onto my other flank, burning it again but this time I yelled out in pain.

"AHHHHHH! You fucker that shit hurts!" clenching my teeth shut and closing my eyes the searing hot pain shoots up from my back and spreads before receding back to its point of origin on my flank. After the pain fades a collar was placed around my neck and was snapped shut and locked, than once the collar was on I heard the jingling of bells and a trio of bells was fastened to my collar along with a tag with the name Blank on it...I am not a blank...

"Move it Blank...your shift starts now. Use tool to mine gems and metals...you eat when you fill cart." Well...slave labor first than prison break, not the first time my plans had to be altered for it to work...

Slowly walking down to the mine shaft, minding the two fresh brands on my flanks...shit hurts like hell if I tried to move faster than a walk and it stings like a motherfucker whenever I move my rear legs. Going down the mine shaft I saw the kidnapped ponies working, stallions and mares swinging away with the pickaxe at the walls, trying to get to the ores while the fillies and colts gather up the fallen debris and moves it aside. As I walk by them they saw that I was a new slave but saw that I had no mark on my flank except for the branding burns, and I also noticed that without my armor I was indeed taller than the rest of most of them, the height advantage might allow me to rally them to fight with me to escape...might be able to give me some information as well...

"Start digging ponies!" the slave driver above us on a small wooden alcove said while using his whip to crack the air, sending a few of the ponies to the ground while others quickly resumed their work, leaving me to my task of mining a lone wall far from the rest of the ponies but still within visual range of the slave driver.

As I began to swing my pickaxe a thought had popped into my head and I found that the dogs were only watching us with a single slaver, and if my thoughts are right than if we take out the one dog we might be able to sneak out way out...assuming if the halls are cleared at night and that we don't have to worry about anything random happening...

Old Castle, Everfree Forest, Night

Mining for 7 hours straight is hard, mining for 7 hours while being talked to by a pony that wouldn't shut up about his whole life story is plain torture, this pony that came to dig next to me a few minutes after I was sent in was annoying as hell and every attempt at me threatening to bash his skull open with my tool was neglected by him laughing and saying that I am a silly pony, and at one point I thought I heard him say he likes silly ponies...that worries me deeply. Half way through the talking he moved closer to me while slightly lowering his voice and with each shuffle closer to me I felt my body slightly shiver out of fear for something I only heard that happens in prison ships or actual prisons. With one final shuffle we were almost face to face and I felt his tail slightly brush my sides, avoiding the burn marks and slowly went down to reach for my...

"Move that tail of yours any closer to the royal jewels and I will promise you that it will be the last time you have a tail or a functioning set of balls." moving a bit away from him, still swinging my pickaxe at the wall, knocking out a large ruby the size of my hoof onto the floor, kicking it close to the cart so I can pick it up later and move out away from the stallion lover in question before anything strange happens.

"Oh come now, we both know you want to have some fun before the big dog has his turn with you." wait what? Oh hell no I am not getting butt fucked by a large alpha dog in this form or any other form.

"Try to make a move on me again and I will send you to the cooking room in this castle in pieces...and I have killed before so try me." with that he smirked a bit before whistling a short tune as a few dogs comes around the corner, slightly moving at running pace before skidding to a halt behind me, three dogs in total.

Turning my head to look at them I saw that only one of them was heavily armored and armed, wielding a large iron rusted mace in both paws, the other two were wearing clothes made from animal hide and probably from dead pony hide as well by the mismatched colors on it. That shit was disturbing to be worn, even to me that was kind of sickening, I would proudly wear a skull into battle if I could but wearing just the flesh, not modified in any way, I see that as crude and barbaric.

"Okay...seems to me that I have a problem....well, good thing that I take care of my problems head on." quickly turning my head while opening my mouth, the pickaxe flew off spinning, impaling the the small dog on the left in the gut, most likely piercing his intestines and his stomach, but other than that he is going to be a goner. As the dog on the left was going out for the count the one on the right charged forward, pulling out a curved dagger out of a sheath from behind, while I stood there waiting for the perfect time to move. Just as he grabs my tail to yank me I had failed to notice that the large dog with the mace swung as the smaller one was stabbing downward, the mace on the other hand reached its destination first, but was off by my ears and one dog. That mace was in full swing and when it hit the other dog, it sent the poor bastard flying down the mine shaft and before we know it all three of us head the sounds of metal screeching on the stone wall and for a split second we saw a small flash of light before a firewall of pure death came flying right at us, I barely had time to jump into the mine cart that was meant for gem and ore's, but when I was in that cart, the pony that tried to buttfuck me jumped in as well, just as the wall of flames rushed past the top.

Looking at the now shaking and scared shit-less pony, I just sighed in relief that I did not have to tell Celestia that the reason why this particular pony in question is dead because he tried to butt rape me while I was held captive. As he kept shaking in fear for his life being snuffed out by a methane explosion, I was thinking that if he stays on top of me for more than thirty seconds after the explosion, than I will have an even harder time explaining to Celestia why I had to shove the shaft of a pickaxe up a certain pony's ass and use him as a puppet to escape from dog paws.

"The explosion is over...you got ten seconds to get off of me before I popsicle you, and trust me you will not like it when you get popsicled...and the way I said it doesn't help it either..." I slowly began to count down the seconds, mouthing each number and by the time I hit 'eight' he quickly got off of me, left the cart behind and ran back to entrance of the shaft, and by the time I reached the entrance they were shutting the gate, and by shutting I mean the thing was coming down like a slow guillotine and I galloped my ass off until I slide under the gate but the blasted thing crushed half of my tail.

Snorting in annoyance I asked for assistance, three dogs came by, two went to hold me down while the third just took an axe and chopped off the part of my tail that was caught under the gate, thank god that it was just hair that I lost and not any flesh and bone. Taking a glance at my tail I saw that it was just two inches from the meat of my tail and that I was now like those old dogs from Old Earth that was short-trimmed, it was demeaning to me for some reason.

After getting back onto my hooves and followed the rest of the slaves to their section of the prison I was than intercepted by Kara, who at that moment was holding a leash which connects to my collar, and at that moment I was think of three things inside my head.

'Oh fuck me.'

'First time doing bondage and I am stuck as a pony...to be dominated by a bipedal dog...fuck my life.'

'Oh god I can see the pain now.'

Slowly backpedaling away from the now grinning Kara I had three options and those were so far not going to well on my end except for one but I was afraid that if I went with it I might be scarred for the next few weeks.

Lowering my head in defeat I slowly trotted toward my current 'master' and was than leashed and somewhat dragged a few times as I was basically showed off to every single dog this girl knew and a few times I had my flank rather slapped or smacked by a few of the seemingly single or just dominative females. Half way on the march I saw the same statue and group of dogs until I realized that Kara was showing me the place, to memorize it and be ready to escape with the knowledge of the place at hand.

After the third time around the same area I got the place mapped out and as soon as I somewhat told her that I knew this place she led me off somewhere else, but this somewhere else looked a bit....old. I mean like really old, you can just tell it's old by how much decay and fragments in the room.

"This is the execution site....near the edge is a small cliff, at bottom is a lake. You ponies jump and swim to shore, run back home, I will wait for you and others here, I will not be safe here soon." wow, her plan is way better than the one I was trying to come up with.

With a quick nod she yanked my collar a few times to implicate that I am her slave when we were near the guard dogs or just random civilian dogs that are roaming about. Once I got back to the slave cells I waited a bit before realizing that I already went through this shit once. Looking at the slaves I saw three familiar faces, and a beak.

Starting from the left wall to the right wall, for the ones I do know was Ditzy, Sunny Smiles, Ditto and as for the beak I can clearly guess it was Helena and as the gryphon stood up it was indeed her, except that her wings were tightly bound to her body, my guess rubber bands.

"You got to be kidding me...how did you four get captured again by these dogs? I mean come on all four of you can fly and yet you got caught?" clearly they were confused on how a seemingly random pony knows that they were all captured before by the diamond dogs, sighing explosively I began to tell them who I was...again.

15 Minutes Later

"I call horseapples on that, you did not save the princess. There is no way that Princess Celestia would ever be put into harms way let alone be able to be killed by an assassin. You are so full of it you know human." well at least I tried to explain it.

"So says the gryphon that is currently wrapped up like a lobster ready to be boiled for seaside dinner. I took a high-powered round to the back and out the chest and lived, I like to see you take something lethal to the back and live. Hell my body took so much crap from so many people and machines that I think that I am just impossible to be killed." I said while laying down near Ditto, who by the way did not tell me anything about his people but he did tell me that his kind feeds off of positive emotions as food...not sure how the hell they do that but I can bet that it looks pretty cool when it happens.

"Tell me again human, how did you exactly end up as a pony? And why are you taller than most of them?" Ditto said while trying to look at me, his eyes were like sapphires except there not gems and most likely not hard as a rock.

"Well after getting shot and almost killed trying to save Celestia..." the gryphon calls out horseapples again "...I was put into the medical wing of the palace and was I think operated on, I woke up once during the operation and saw my own intestines and my ribcage, I passed out cause I have never saw them almost hang out of my body before, I wake up to take a syringe to the neck than a few hours later woke up a third time, go to the halls to my room before getting pin-cushioned by more syringes and knocked out, woke up for the fourth time to finally get my medication but did not know that whatever was in it turned me into this....form..." a few of the mares were eying me a bit, the thoughts I hope was going through their heads was praying for a way out of here, "...I lost most of my means to be strong enough to just break out of this cell and get all of you out....Celestia said I had 24 hours until this potions wears off...I lost count how many hours its been."

With all lying aside I had no fucking ideal how long it was since I turned, I putting all my credits it was less than 8 hours ago.

Canterlot Castle, Midnight

"Dearest Sister...it has almost been a full 24 hours...are thou sure it was wise to have given him that brewed potion on him, We do not know where his loyalties lie to..."

The silence in the throne room was thin and the air was thick with worry and wonder, both of the alicorns wondering what I am up to and wondering if I will make it in time before the potion wears off.

"Yes, I do say it is wise...but the problem is that he is now in the Diamond Dogs hands...we do not know how long it will take him to escape let alone free our ponies...they have been ponyknapping for too long..."

"Do you think he will make it back in time before it wears off?"

"No."

Everfree Castle, Prisoner Cells, Midnight

"Urgghh......gods....Ditto...." groaning in pain, feels like I just got hit in the gut with a baseball bat.

"Yes Zidane?" the changeling said while keeping his eyes shut/

"You know that feeling you get when it just feels like you got your stomached kicked so hard that you just want to puke everything you ate for the entire day?" that feeling you get when your gut rejects what you ate feeling, I got it.

"No." lucky bastard...

"Well...than this is going to suck to be me...god damn this hurts like a motherfucker..."

"Not to be rude but what is a 'motherfucker'? This word I have not heard of before."

Sighing loudly I turn my head to face the back wall with the overly tall barred window.

"I don't get payed enough to do this shit..." to tell the truth, I am never payed enough for this shit.

Next Morning, 3AM

"What do you think it is?"

"Don't know...looks like a shaved Diamond Dog...but with no claws or a tail..."

"Looks like what he was saying wasn't horseapples....you owe me 10 bits Helena."

"You get your bits when we find a way out of here..."

The sounds of hushed words and the random prodding of hooves and talons was what eventually woke me up from my stangely odd perfect slumber. As I yawned and stretched I noticed a few things were off and yet familiar, my eyes were back the were, I got my old limbs back but with holes in the palms and that they are now made of metal, and that I for some reason smell like moldy hay.

Looking down I saw that I was greeted with a very familiar sight, my body back to its normal self except that the brands are still on me but are now on my thighs and that it still stinging and painful as hell.

"Oh thank fucking god I am back to normal! I swear if that fucking change was permenant I was gonna kill myself with the closest brick I can find." turning to my left I saw that every single pony, gryphon and changeling were looking at me, their faces I can't even describe.

"What?"

One of them pointed at me with a hoof, and at the angle it was pointing at I had to guess it was towards my dick, and taking a glance downward than back to the pony in question I use whatever decency I had left to use the torn curtain on the window and made a make-shift skirt of sorts to cover myself.

"Fucking ponies...couldn't all of you just looked away? You know its called modesty, surely you all heard of it?" ignoring a few rude remarks I go to the cell door and looked it over. It appeared to be brand new and that the hinges were even oiled for easy opening and closing.

Taking a look at the ponies I saw that the four I knew had told them how I escaped last time and are now just waiting for me to get the door open.

"Just to be clear, Celestia has no idea where I am this time so are going to have to get out of here the old fashioned way, follow me to the old room."

I can clearly say that once my omni-blade was out I thought I heard a low sounding whistle, most likely a pony was impressed by the weapon of semi-mass destruction.

Cutting off the hinges of the door and letting it swing open before slowly putting it against the wall, I walked out first, no guards in sight and signaled everyone else to follow me and to keep low to the ground. Half way to the execution room I saw two guards talking and standing at the only entrance to that room, thinking fast I told everyone to stop and let me handle the guards.

Turning the corner to face them I took notice of the horns on their belt and the slightly crude swords on their belt as well. Counting to three I got a running start before using a Biotic Charge on the guard to the left, knocking him slightly off balance before getting a grip on his head, and sharply jerking it to the right, snapping his neck instantly before moving to the one on the right and doing the same thing. Their bodies hit the ground with a soft thud and I was blessed with luck for if they were wearing their armor I would have been screwed over big time.

Going back to the group I told them to step around or over the bodies, make way to the execution room and wait for me there, all but one nodded. After going back to the room I gave Kara a thumbs up to tell the ponies the rest of my plan and for her to follow them to lead them safely back to town, but what I did tell her that was a priority was to go back to the barn and wait for me there. Looking at Ditto I crossed my arms, gave him my usual death glare out of annoyance with him and waited a second before speaking up.

"Ditto...is there something you need to tell me? Do it now because once we start to run back to Ponyville we would split up, I know what your kind did to the ponies, crashing a wedding is what I do but trying an invasion at the same time and failing, I doubt they will give you any sign of mercy for coming with us."

'You know Roran, those changelings are still in Equestria and have taken form as a few of the residents.'

'He never told me his kind can shapeshift into others.'

'Now I did, and also you need to shave that beard off, only I can have a beard and look good with it.'

'Bite me Discord, I am keeping this beard until I can find a shaving tool to shorten it...'

At first he was silent but as soon as we got to the stairs he spoke up in a hushed and quiet tone.

"Human, if what you said is true about what you said...being the last of your own species...why are you doing things that would prove to be fatal to you. You should be trying to find a way to live your life not spending it as a servant."

My response is a middle finger and a silent curse, not even caring about the insect anymore.

"You can rather jump off or I can just throw you off, if you are the last one and you don't want to jump than I am jumping with you in my arms. Only three choices so be smart and jump." the crossed eyed pegasus Ditzy jumped over the edge first, and from the look of things was kinda not paying attention to my plan at the time of me saying it.

After she jumped over the ledge a few more followed after her, and when it was just me, Kara and Ditto as I was standing near the edge waiting on him to jump. I motioned for him to jump and he shook his head no, I stormed after him and when I got a firm grip on his neck I chucked him over the ledge, not even thinking about the fact that I had to jump right after him now that he was gone and I was left behind. Taking a glance down to the water I saw the ponies now swimming to the shore and none of them getting spotted by the dogs hanging out at the wall, and with that I took a look at my hands, saw the metal under the flesh and breathed a short sigh of relief that I still have my metal limbs but now I have to skin myself to get them back to normal.

"I don't know how to swim..." Oh fuck me...why must the one being that was the last one have to be the one that can't swim to save their own life...

After a long and deep thought I came up with an idea, but knowing how that these dogs are somewhat my height and are probably strong enough to do what needs to be done, I can only hope that it works cause if it doesn't than I would have to save a drowning dog.

"Well I guess you have to hold onto me than, and don't be getting any funny...your doing it wrong...hook your legs around my waist from behind....yes like that...and wrap your arms under mine across the chest....no under my arms not over them. Yes, just like that, okay now when I jump you prepare yourself, hold on tightly to me and before we hit the water hold your breath until we resurface and once we are back onto land you can let go unless you are afraid to move after we are out?" I am honestly hoping that she lets go of me once we are on land cause I am not carrying a dog all the way back home while wearing nothing but a crappy skirt made of a poor excuse of a curtain.

Counting my blessings and also praying that when I jump I don't land in shallow water and end up eating shit and going face first into a pile of sharp jagged rocks and the dog on my back not getting harmed either, she has her uses for a probable infiltration spy...probably. Taking one last look over the edge I breathed in deeply before going back to the wall than taking a running start before jumping off the ledge trying to get as much distance away from the castle and as close to the other side as much as possible.

As I got within a few feet from the fastly approaching water I braced myself for impact, a loud yelping sound behind was what caught my attention until I got a face full of ice cold water, a passing fish, and lastly seaweed that slightly tickled my face until I quickly forced my arms to move my heavy ass and the cargo on my back to the surface and upon breathing the sweet fresh air I heard a splash to my left and a few seconds later a spear floated beside me.

"The prisoners are escaping!" Oh god damn it Kara...why did you have to yelp when we were just seconds from freedom...

Swimming to the shore was easy, not getting speared by dogs standing on the top of the wall was somewhat hard, not getting speared while making sure I wasn't followed was hard, watching for enemies while not noticing dry land covered in rough rocks only meant that this was going hurt without any protection...

Upon reaching land I saw the ponies were waiting for me but when as soon as I shouted for them to run back home they all agreed with me immeditaly and without a moments notice galloped off without me, leaving me and Kara behind for the dogs...just like Katherine and the rest of my squad back at Noveria except I actually got a friend to run with to escape capture.

Ponyville Outskirts, Morning

Me and Kara spent seven hours walking and running back there, evading the hostile dogs within the forest and also losing a few of them at what I thought was a shallow lake but was actually a bog of sorts at which when I got there I nearly shit myself at the sight of a mythical creature staring back at me. If my history lessons have ever stuck with me it was called a Hydra, just like the missile launcher that a few of the Blue Sun's use in their heavy armor squad. I kid you not when I first saw the beast I almost wanted to just bite the bullet and let it eat me but than I realized that it had four heads, four heads equals four hungry mouths that would want a taste of meat, which means instead of a quick death it would end up as a brutal and painful death.

Not something I would want to end up as on an early morning.

Running away from the beast was easy work because instead of what it said in the old history books that they were like dragons except no wings and had at a minimum four heads and twelve max, this thing had two legs and that thing looked ugly as sin and slow as fuck. Losing sight of the hydra was by so far the largest thing I ever managed to escape from after it saw me and had me firmly within its sights.

After we got away from the few dogs that followed us into the bog and the hydra that tried to turn us into an early morning meal, we were back in the forest but at a part that looked a bit less creepy and strange but a bit more wild and untamed. A few minutes into the new part of the forest I had this feeling that I was being watched by the trees, and on the rare occasion I saw a face on a random oak tree, blinking to see if it was really there but it as gone when my eyes fell upon the faced tree only for it to have moved to a different tree.

'Discord are you fucking with me again? You should know how I feel about you fucking with my mind when I am busy.'

'Roran if I was messing with you head than you would be seeing strange pictures flying around and it would be raining candy from the skies, since I know that you hate sugary treats.'

'I swear if I start seeing those things while in this forest I will take a hammer, go to your statue and bring it down upon your tail and horns, seriously, no mind-fucking.'

Taking a glance at a tree I saw that the face slowly formed on the trunk of a tree, the face itself looked like it was in agony before it slowly faded away and reappeared on a nearby trunk but this time in large shit-eating grin and than it to began to fade. Blinking and rubbing my eyes I thought I was just starting to see things cause I was running on fumes and most likely spare time from the lack of food in my system.

10 minutes later I saw twinkling lights in the distance, at first I thought it was just a lake and the sun was shining onto it, but as we got closer I realized it was the outside world, the sound of safe birds chirping and the voice of something intelligent was nearby. Looking back at Kara I saw that she was somewhat happy to be away from the rest of her people and was giving me a smile of sorts until we saw a cottage near the edge of woods, upon reaching that edge I was more than thrilled to see a familiar pony but upon seeing me she let out a gasp and galloped back into her home and shut the door.

"God damn...am I really that ugly or just scary?" turning to Kara who just shrugged at me.

"I think scary? Those cuts don't look very safe to be around though." Oh right...running in bushes and thickets was never my brightest of ideas when on the run from enemy patrols.

As Kara and I approached Ponyville from the eastern side of the Everfree Forest, exhuasted, covered in mud, twigs and leaves, and smelling like we just stepped in shit we finally saw our salvation as we came across the first sign of pony civilization by spotting the apple orchard and seeing a large red draft pony pulling a plow with ease and a smaller pony seemingly trying to kick an apple tree, adorable at a distance.

Reaching the entrance to the farm the red pony came up to us and as soon as he got within smelling distance I thought he reared his head back a bit and coughed, my theory on we smell like shit was correct.

"Applejack's brother...just get us two buckets of water...and throw one at the each of us....we can handle the rest." and without a moments hesitation he ran back to one of the barns, got two buckets filled with water, and I grabbed one from his mouth, dunked it on myself and every fiber of my being wanted to yell out loud for how freaking cold that water is, and when Kara dunked the water on herself nothing happened except that she shook herself dry, and I got the receiving end by getting dirty water flung at me.

Giving her a deadpan stare of not amused I just wipe myself clean with my hands and flicked the excess water onto the ground before looking back at the red pony. "Is hopefully most of the smell gone?" the pony nodded yes, "Good, working for Celestia and going in under-equiped is not what I signed up for...got an apple or two to spare if not than can you give us directions to the....Ponyville Library?" I was a bit confused since most small towns back in my time never had one let alone a hub for omni-tools.

"Well...head back down Apple Street, left on Forest Road, tis the large oak tree." Perfect directions from a simple farm worker.

After saying our thanks for to the pony known as Big MacIntosh, which is true because his head reachs my chin and that his eyes holds untold amounts of wisdom and patience, that and he seems to be chewing on a wheat straw like the farms of old, the wheat straw that never seems to age, wither or decay.

Once we were out of the apple forest and nearing the edge of town I quietly spoke to Kara, "This place is filled with nothing but ponies, from what a royal guard told me is that this place as seen its fair share of strange shit happening so expect the unexpected, prepare for the worst, and if you see a pink pony walking up to you, you turn around and run, just get away from her and try to find me. If you get caught just say my name and ask on where to find me, they should lead you straight to me." she nodded to me at first until she looked confused and asked me why to run from a pink pony.

"Cause that pony be fucking crazy thats why, she defies every single law of gravity and physics. She might even be able to teleport even though she has no magic and is not a unicorn." I bet she could do such a thing.

"Are you talking about me?" at that moment my blood turned icy cold and every single hair on my body was standing at attention. The presence of the pony that willingly breaks the laws of the universe is the very few things I can not stand, that and being told to follow orders from someone I hate.

"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!" I ran full tilt down the road, not even caring that I just shouted that outloud and not even care about who even heard me say that. Pinkie Pie was bouncing in place while Kara just stood there confused as hell, looking at Pinkie's mane and began to play with it, seemingly happy to feel something soft and bouncy.

Ponyville, Library, 2 minutes Later

"So tell me again why are you wearing that collar? Just for a reference that I may use it on Diamond Dog culture when they capture a pony...er a human in this case that they have taken a liking to and claimed it as their own...and what is that on your legs?" I knew talking to her immediately was a bad idea without as much of a thought to tell her what I went through.

"I already told you once Sparkle that I am not telling you about the collar and those are brand markings on my legs. Can you or can you not just get this thing off of me, cause every time I tried to get rid of it the damn thing zaps me..." I hate this fucking collar so much that I now hate it with a passion.

"I am sorry Roran but I will not remove that collar unless you tell me everything that you saw while you were a captive, this report is going to Princess Celestia and she must know if they have done anything to you or her ponies that they had held captive for Celestia knows how long." from what I can tell they were most likely there for a few weeks...give or take a month or two.

Sighing in defeat that I have to regale her in my plan from after me and the dogs left the barn and took a mad dash through that damned forest, the part where I was stripped of that crappy tin can excuse for armor than the branding I took which still stung like a motherfucker, working in the mines but I excluded the part of the gay pony...rather not be asked what he looked like, rather not even remember that part. Than their was the glorious part where Twilight slightly gagged when I told her about the three guards I killed in the mine than the other two watching the execution chamber, than me telling every single pony to jump the ledge and swim to safety, tossing the changeling over the ledge seemed to have brought a smile to her face until I told her that Kara couldn't swim so I had to do that for her and nearly chocked a few times from when she held onto me too tightly.

When I started to tell her about the part where we were escaping from the patrols Kara and the pink demon walked in, Pinkie was hopping in place which by now reminds me to tell her to stop eating so much candy before her heart explodes...on second thought I better not tell her that...

'Now now Roran, what did I tell you about with-holding information that can save lives?'

'You told me not to listen to whatever you said that was not important. Twice.'

'Just tell the pink poof ball about it before I make your mind into a chocolate bar.'

'You do and I will bring a hammer down upon your statue.'

'Just tell her.'

'Make me Admiral Dickweed.'

"As I was saying, as me and Kara ran from that old ass castle we ran through bushes and thickets, we even ran into a bog to escape from the dogs only to run into a hydra, we out ran that thing like the plague. We eventually came upon the outer layer of the forest and finally came out near a cottage on the edge of the tree line, later came down to the apple orchard and finally here...also does this place have a shower or a bathtub cause I really need to get the stench of sweat, shame, filth and whatever the forest decided to attach itself onto me." she pointed upstairs with a hoof.

"Thank you kindly..." once I was hopefully out of earshot "thank fucking god...I thought I would never get clean in this lifetime...and away from a pony that loves to learn, that girl would have been accepted to Grissom Academy in no time if she sent a single application form."

Finding the bathroom wasn't that hard in a building that was a tree, getting into the bathtub that belonged to a pony that was half my height and that the bathtub area would force me to go into a kneeling position to clean myself let alone properly do it without breaking something. Closing the bathroom door behind me I turned the lock so nothing can get in on instinct and taking off the only article of clothing that I had on, the cloth skirt, and let it drop to the floor, and after thinking for a moment I somewhat crawled into the bathtub, knelled down and turned it on, the feeling of cold water was the one thing I always hated about taking a bath, first the icy cold spray than the water heats up to the right temperature.

"Oh thank the lord...this is the best shower I have ever taken....in years....my god this feels so good, my lord this is amazing....now if only I had my radio, my soap...and my cleaning knife than this would be like the good old days." in truth when I had my radio, soap and knife I would always clean my nails and add a small marking on my hand for each kill that day.

A few minutes into my shower I heard the faint sounds of giggling and laughter, I thought I was just hearing Discord laughing at me in my head again but when I heard the sound of a body hitting the wooden floor I knew that I was somehow being watched. Turning my head to the only door to the sacredness known as the bathtub, taking a glance at the door I could have sworn I saw something move but dismissed it as Twilight or some other pony walking by, shrugging to myself I turned off the water nozzle, got out of the tub, dried myself off with a towel that seems eerily odd for it is roughly the same shape and size as the ones I used to use back home.

After being clean I put back on my shitty skirt, opened the door to see my Alliance uniform on the floor with a note on it, picking up the clothes along with the note I closed the bathroom door again, putting the clothes on the sink I gently picked up the note and slowly scanned it over with my eyes, reading it at a leisurely pace.

From the desks of Princess Celestia and Princess Luna

We both have received a report of your mission that we have given to you and we have many things we wish to discuss with you about. First off is the torturing and killing of prisoners for information, we do not allow such barbaric practices to be done here within Equestrian borders and you will cease any further actions. Second, The killing and slaying of the enemy may be seen as necessary to free our ponies but killing more than that is required to save the lives of the captured is seen as crude and...

I didn't even bother to keep reading it and instead threw it away into the small trash bin and took my new clothes that will actually cover my body in stead of that skirt that barely covered up to my knee's let alone my ass, rather not let anyone see the tattoo I have there...

Once my underwear, shirt, pants and going back to the trash can to pull the crumpled up note out, reading it where I last left off.

...and as such should never be done unless it is the only resort left. Thirdly, why did you never tell either of us your plan to rescue our little ponies? Twilight Sparkle just barely told us your plan to have them freed until you ran off with them back to their lair. Lastly, How many Diamond Dogs were in the lair you were in. We need to know how many guards to send to Ponyville to ensure that they would never come back to try and capture another pony.

As I read the last bit I saw a slightly off shaded segment below the original part and squinting my eyes a bit to see if I can read it I than enhanced zoom on the part until it was slightly readable.

If you are able to read this than this is from the desk of Princess Celestia

I have heard from my student that they have put a collar around your neck and have also branded you with the letter 'K', and we think that it belongs to the Diamond Dog known as Kara, and from what she has written down that you two are friends. Do not let that dog get close to you, her kind are not to be trusted because they constantly attack and raid fringe towns and villages for slaves. On another note, you have been given a home within the borders of Ponyville for your deeds for the crown, your new home was meant for the zebra Zecora but she has refused it for unknown reasons. That home is now yours, just promise me that you will not set it on fire or damage it.

'Wow...she gave me a home...and not set it on fire or destroy it? Well there goes my plan to tear the house apart and rebuild it from scratch....eh I could have only gotten a shack instead of a hopefully nice cozy house. Might as well send them something in return'

After writing down a short message on the back of the scroll, rolled it up, tied it back up and put my Hallex canister in the center of it, I found the little dragon walking outside the bathroom and told him to send it to Celestia which he did. Hopefully she takes the damn thing along with her sister, the shit they will get into will be priceless.

Thinking about what the house would look like gave me pause onto how I would next speak to Celestia and Luna, and also praying that my new home is not so crappy and shifty that I would have to repair and replace the damn thing with better furnishings to make it presentable to life.

Once I left the bathroom I noticed something odd and most likely out of place, the library lights were off. Back in my time whenever there was a library the lights would always be on until it was time to close up for the night, and by the looks of the window it was Early-Afternoon and was way to damn early to close up shop. Glancing around I saw nothing moving down the stairs, nothing moving in the bedroom across from me, and nothing to the possibly guest bedroom. Taking gentle baby steps down the hall I very faintly heard the sounds of hooves moving out and about but in a hushed manner and possible in a hurried manner as well.

Tip-toeing down the stairs to see what the disturbance was, I slowly scanned the room to see if anything was wrong but the lights were off and everything was darker, almost like it was nighttime except it was the afternoon, the air was slightly stuffy, and that if the day and night timer was off than I am going back to my cave to wait it out. Slowly making my way to the kitchen to find the light switch since the last time I was in there I saw it, and nodding to myself I slowly made my way to the bringer of artificial light but was stopped when I was in the middle of the room by a cacophony of voices and a very bright ass light.

"Surprise!" was all I heard before I jumped towards the nearest wall hoping to hit a window.

I instead hit my head on a bookshelf making it dispense all of its knowledge filled books ontop of me.

Very slowly I rose from my book tomb, my head rising with a giant tome perfectly balanced on my head, and very slowly climbed my way out of the book pile with the most sheepish of grins.

"Erm....yeah?" shrugging a bit before the pink pony demon bounced her way over to me.

Every single pony began to party and dance as soon as I confirmed to what was going on, looking up I saw a very girly and extremely decorated to death sign.

"Welcome to Ponyville and Thank you for Rescuing our Friends Party!"

I shit you not, that thing was glittery and it almost looked like those signs that are used for baby-showers. Slightly ignoring the sign I lowered my gaze to see who was here, and sure enough it was ponies I had no idea about except for those I rescued once and most likely twice. The ponies I was looking at were somewhat busy enjoying the party that Pinkie Pie was throwing but they were also trying to pay attention to the savior of their friends and family, which was easy to do when I was the target of their gazing and seriously how hard is it to not notice my size? I am easily twice or in some cases three times their size, depending on how old they are.

After a while I was busy in a drinking contest with Rainbow Dash who said that she can easily out drink me in the fruit punch, and me who said that I can out drink her at any time and any place, accepted the challenge and with each cup it only got worse because their was more and more cups that ended up empty. 15 minutes into the contest I was on my last cup for the round until I saw Rainbow Dash just up and went up the stairs in such a fashion and speed that I threw my arms up into the air in a victorious fashion shouting out loud in victory. The sounds coming from upstairs on the otherhand was the sound of defeat, failure, and shame.

After my short victory I felt something poke my left leg, than upon turning to face my next victim at a drinking game a pink cupcake was shoved close to my face. The limb that was under the cupcake was pink just like its frosting and following said limb was Pinkie Pie, trying to give me a cupcake filled with sugar, diabetic death, and of course if I was high, the munchies.

"No thanks I'm good." the voices around me stopped, the music was turned off and the sounds of glass shattering was all that could be heard.

I swear to god, when I said no Pinkie Pie had a flip in personality and appearance, she turned darker and not because of a few balloons covering the light on her, no she turned darker like in those old-fashioned movies when the villain arrives and fucks everything over.

"What did you say?" Oh fuck me.