I watched the temple slowly recede into the distance in the middle of the sea of green that was the jungle as the sun slowly rose at the horizon.

Nopony wanted to stay longer than absolutely necessary, so... we left as soon as it got bright enough for the others to see to load the airship.

Shifting my wings, I sighed softly, the wind tugging at my mane as I put my hoof against the railing on the platform on top of the 'balloon'.

So much had happened since we left Canterlot. Ponies had gotten hurt. Ponies had died.

But we had learned things.

Sadly none of which made me any happier than ponies getting hurt. There had been a thestral alicorn in the past. A male even.

He had been a monster that turned the thestrals into more monsters.

According to Midnight, the curse on us was overlaid over the actual blood magic and it suppressed a lot of the things the blood magic did, such as the blood drinking.

She didn't know if it was the curse, the blood magic or a combination of the two that caused thestrals to have a majority of non thestral foals, but something was doing it.

I tried to help and all I did was potentially make things worse.

Somepony moved up next to me and I looked at Amber in surprise, "Amber?" I asked before I smiled slightly, "I'm tasting rather bad, aren't it?"

"...Kinda bitter, sir," she admitted.

"I'm sorry," I sighed against the sound of the wind as the propellers started to slowly turn faster, "We should go back inside. How's everypony feeling?"

Amber looked thoughtful, "Kind of... melancholy."

I slowly nodded.

That made a lot of sense. They made it through, but it had been difficult, painful and dangerous. But they also made it, together. Not only did we make it, but we achieved our objective.

Didn't mean it didn't suck, but... still.

"No talk about throwing the bat into the propellers yet?"

Amber glared at me and I raised a hoof,

"Sorry, sorry," I said in surrender and then shook my head, "I'm just a bit down right now.”

“You should go to your mates, you taste better with them close by.”

I smiled slightly and sighed, “I would, wouldn’t I?” I asked and shook my head, “I just feel like being in a bad mood for a while. You can go back inside, I’ll be a while. Nothing is going to jump me here.”

Amber looked at me like I was stupid before she sat down and looked out over the horizon.

Changelings.

I shook my head slightly and flicked my ears, looking out over the jungle below as the wind tugged at my coat, wings and mane.

What do we do now?

...No. All of this was on me. All of it. From Midnights nightly nightmares to the ones of the rest of the group to the ponies hurt and the ponies died. The lost equipment and the destroyed airship.

I got everypony into this and I have to…

...fix it. There was no fixing it. Ponies have died.

I closed my eyes for a second. Fu-OW!

I looked at Amber in surprise as she pulled away, looking at me smugly as I put hoof on my neck, “You bit me!”

“You needed it.”

“I don’t need my blood rushing with changeling venom!” I snarled and spread my wings in protest, already feeling the effects, the wind almost pulling me off the platform as it hit my wings.

“Yes you do!” Amber argued and glared at me, “You need something to pull you out of this so you can do something constructive. Those kinds of emotions are not good for the hive!”

“Not everything is about the bucking hive!”

“It is!” Amber said and rounded to me, glaring, “Not just the Changeling hive, but your hive, the hive of the fearful bat ones!”

I took a step back and looked at her in surprise, struggling to stay angry. It was difficult when it started to feel like I hit puberty again in the middle of a stripclub.

“What?”

“How does tasting awful help the bat ones?” Amber asked over the wind, her wings buzzing, “It’s bad for your hive! Stop it!”

“I-” I started and then closed my eyes, taking a long slow breath, “It’s not that simple, Amber. There is no fixing this.”

“All things die. Never a way to fix it. The hive still needs work done,” Amber said, shifting slightly, “No way to fix dead drones. Help the ones alive. Zakzzzkkezzz!”

“...I don’t know that word,” I said, breathing deeply.

“It doesn't have a pony translation. My life for the hive. My life mattered. My life helped others.”

I opened my eyes to look at her for a long moment, “Make their lives matter.”

“Their lives already did matter,” Amber said, “That’s my point. They are part of why we have what we have now, know what we know. Don’t waste it.”

I stared at her and then shook my head, “I’m not having this conversation while on ‘ling Venom.”

“And you’re still clearer than you were a minute ago!”

Taking a deep breath, I shook my head, “Lings,” I said and rubbed my forehead with my hoof as I looked away from her inviting looking… curves.

Amber looked at me stubbornly, “I’m still right.”

“Maybe,” I admitted, “But you have a bucking way of going to make a point,” I grumbled, “I’m going inside.”

“I didn’t, you know;” Amber said as I turned to walk away.

I paused and looked back at her, “What?”

“No venom,” she claritied, “I just bit you.”

“Did you bucking placebo me!?”

“Feel better now?”

I just shook my head and trotted inside.