Shattered Souls
Chapter 13: The Crime of Self-Hatred
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Chapter 13: The Crime of Self-Hatred
If Luna had thought she deserved this nightly torment before, it was nothing to how she felt now. The funeral service had been two days ago and Luna couldn’t shake the depressive feelings the event had brought to the surface. It was all Luna’s fault. She had come back from the moon only to make things worse again.
So it was as Luna prepared herself for her jailor after a night of tending to the Dream Realm. The punishment never lasted long. She had crafted the Tantabus to deliver just enough suffering to sting, but not enough that it would impact her whole day. Chrissy would have her head if she found out about the Tantabus.
Luna was self aware enough to realize that what she was doing wasn’t penance, just a hurtful expression of self-loathing. That didn’t mean she could bring herself to stop. Truly, she was a pitiable creature.
On tonight’s menu there were the ghostly forms of twin Alicorns. Tom and Twilight.
“You could’ve taken on the burden of the Magic, you know,” Twilight’s ghost taunted.
“You could’ve at least tried to stand up to Tirek,” Tom’s wraith commented.
“Shouldn’t you have known that I was a creature of curiosity? You were the same way once. Would you have poked around an ancient castle to find long lost secrets?” Twilight’s specter asked. Luna knew the answer, but couldn’t speak it out loud.
“Poor Luna, thinking all this time she was chosen by Magic. Ha! You were only the delivery girl. If you had been worthy of Magic, you would’ve been able to stop Tirek without relying on Discord,” Tom sneered.
“How could you send two untested combatants against a threat like Tirek? Neither of us had combat experience!” Twilight shrieked.
“Throwing all your problems at Twilight and hoping she’ll fix them. Nothing changed when I got involved, you simply lumped me in with her,” Tom growled.
“Maybe you and Celestia are really the Alicorns of Delegation,” Twilight said cruelly, “Can’t be bothered to deal with anything other than whiny nobles.”
It hurt so much, but Luna just shut her eyes and bore the pain. Nothing they had said was wrong. Truly the truth can cut deeper than any sword.
“We forgive you,” Luna’s ears perked up in surprise.
“It wasn’t your fault,” Luna cast her senses around her Dreamscape. The Tantabus was missing! She forced herself awake.
“How is this possible?!”
The Elements were enjoying a quiet moment grooming their pets in Rarity’s boutique. Well ‘enjoying’ may be overstating things. They were all exhausted. It didn’t take them long to realize they had all had nightmares involving a blue smoke monster.
“How much you wanna bet Coco and Moon Dancer had nightmares too?” Duskfall wondered.
“No bet. Too many coincidences like this happen around us,” Rainbow scoffed.
“Coco did seem more weary than usual, but when I asked her about it, she said she was fine,” Rarity noted.
“I wonder why I didn’t have any nightmares? I slept great!” Spike exclaimed.
“Maybe whatever it is only goes after pony dreams? We should probably tell Luna. The Dream Realm is her thing, after all,” Duskfall suggested. Soon the group plus Coco and Moon Dancer stood outside Luna’s home. They knocked and a frazzled looking Alicorn of the Night opened the door.
“Oh, friends, what brings you here?” Luna sounded as frazzled as she looked. They explained about how they all had a nightmare involving blue smoke.
“Do you know what it is, Luna?” Applejack asked. Luna sighed.
“The Tantabus is a creature of my nightmares. It escaped from my Dreamscape yesterday. I have been trying to track it down ever since. I simply do not know how it escaped. It should not be powerful enough for such a feat, and yet here we are,” Luna was frustrated with her own lack of understanding.
“So why has it targeted us and not the entire town?” Fluttershy questioned.
“I can only presume the Tantabus wishes to gain power as swiftly as possible. That makes the Elements a prime target for feeding. As for Coco and Moon Dancer, I can only assume the Tantabus wishes to cause me the most pain it can. It is a small mercy that it does not yet appear strong enough to invade the dreams of non-ponies. Still, we must act swiftly; lest it gain enough power to plague all of Equuis with nightmares,” Luna warned.
“Aren’t you in charge of the Dream Realm? Can’t you, I dunno, just squash it?” Rainbow wondered.
“Just because I shepherd the Dream Realm does not mean I am all powerful there. There is also a slight possibility that if the Tantabus gains enough power, it could break into the Waking World,” Luna warned.
“Lovely, how slight is this possibility?” Duskfall inquired.
“I can’t say for certain. As I said, it was never supposed to be able to break out of my own Dreamscape. There is no telling how much it has mutated in the time since then,” Luna answered.
“So what are we gonna do about it? If everyone is having nightmares all the time, there’ll be no time for making everyone laugh and that’s serious business!” Pinkie exclaimed.
Luna laid out her plan. That night they all gathered and were ready for Luna to hunt in their dreams. Thankfully Luna had come prepared for those who would be unable to sleep due to anxiety with one of her patented sleep spells. Soon everyone was in bed. Luna cast the spell.
“Fair hunting, Good Hunter,” Duskfall couldn’t stop herself from whispering as she faded into sleep.
Luna was unsure of where exactly to begin until she began Dream Walking. She felt a fleeting echo of the Tantabus in Rarity’s dream, so there she went. In Rarity’s dream there was Coco, Sweetie Belle, and Rarity’s parents. They appeared to be enjoying a quiet picnic.
“Oh, everyone, do eat up, I brought enough macaroni and cheese for all!” Rarity exclaimed happily, a dozen or so bowls of mac and cheese appearing. That was when the Tantabus struck. Suddenly scalding hot pasta was blasting from every bowl.
“Rarity, make it stop!” Sweetie Belle screamed in pain.
“Sweetie Belle!” Rarity cried out.
“Dame Rarity, it is only a dream!” Luna called out as she blasted a bowl out of the air, sending the Tantabus scurrying.
“Oh… oh right, it is a dream!” Rarity summoned a barrier around her family, protecting them from further noodle assault. Seeing its attempts to terrify had failed, the Tantabus fled to another dream.
“Are you able to handle yourself here?” Luna asked.
“So long as this is the worst of it, I can maintain this shield for as long as needed. Don’t worry about me, go catch that brute!” Rarity waved Luna on and Luna dipped back into the Dream Realm before entering the dream of Pinkie Pie.
“I have tracked the Tantabus here, I-” Luna was cut off by a sudden change in scenery.
“Sorry, I can’t help it! A dream idea just pops into my head and away we go!” Pinkie called out.
“I suppose I should not be surprised that you of all ponies are a lucid dreamer,” Luna remarked.
“You really shouldn’t,” Pinkie agreed as she went to bite into a dreamed up cake. The Tantabus tried to spook Pinkie by giving the cake and all the pastries in the current dream setting vicious fangs and horrible faces. Pinkie just giggled at the ghosties. She opened her mouth impossibly wide and swallowed the savage sweets in one go.
“I feel slightly disturbed,” Luna confessed as the Tantabus made its getaway.
“Poyo!” Pinkie chirped happily. Luna just shook her head and adopted the ‘it’s Pinkie Pie don’t question it’ mantra. The Tantabus still had to be captured.
Coco was relaxing as she listened to Octavia play her cello masterfully, as she always did. There was a simple pleasure in listening to the classics after a long day of sewing. It soothed and rejuvenated the mind so new ideas could spring forth. Really, Coco didn’t tell Octavia enough how much she appreciated these private performances. She could almost drift away to the sound until something made a ‘thunk’ sound next to her. Coco opened her eyes and saw a cello bow planted in the ground like an arrow.
“I don’t remember this part,” Coco said dumbly before rolling out of the way of another shot, “Octavia, stop!”
Luna burst onto the stage and knocked the cello away from the dream Octavia’s hooves.
“Fear not, Coco, this is only a dream!” Luna called out.
“Oh…right. A dream…” Coco barely had time to gather her wits when the booths around the stage were filled with dozens of dream Octavias, all armed with cellos and bows, “Eep.”
“The dream only has as much power as you allow it, Coco! Fight back!” Luna ordered as she saw the Tantabus fleeing in to the next dream.
“I’ll try,” Coco replied timidly as the Lunar Alicorn resumed her chase of the Tantabus.
Fluttershy had spent so much of her life taking care of others. She didn’t regret a second of it, but sometimes she wished that, like now, she was the pet, the one to be taken care of. If only she could find the one who could take care of her unconditionally while she took care of her animals. Fluttershy pushed such gloomy thoughts away as she enjoyed the giant Angel Bunny combing her mane. Then something wet splashed the back of her neck. Fluttershy looked up and saw Angel Bunny had been transformed into a monster. Fluttershy froze in shock, but was saved by Luna just in the nick of time.
“Thank you for saving me,” Fluttershy said demurely.
“Think nothing of it, Dame Fluttershy. I just wish I knew how the Tantabus is still gaining power!” Luna huffed in frustration as she spotted the thing slither away back into the Dream Realm.
“I’m sure you’ll figure something out,” Fluttershy encouraged.
“I appreciate your confidence in me,” Luna said fondly before resuming her chase.
What could be more perfect than this? There was a soft snowfall outside, family gathered around the fire, and drinking warm cider. This was what bliss truly was to Applejack. She took a sip of cider and snuggled closer to her mother. Applejack closed her eyes, just for a moment. When she opened them again everything was fire. Smoke was billowing out the sides of the house.
“MA! PA!” Applejack screamed. She tried to run into the burning house, but someone stopped her.
“You cannot change history, Dame Applejack. This is just a nightmare,” Luna said softly.
“Dammit all,” Applejack swore as tears escaped her eyes.
“Would you like me to take you somewhere happier?” Luna asked gently.
“No. Ah’ll be alright. Just…let me watch,” Applejack requested.
“Very well,” Luna stepped away and back into the Dream Realm.
“Captain Rainbow Dash! Land ho off the starboard bow!” Pharynx called out from the crow’s nest.
“Arg me hearties! Today we be digging up the treasure of Cotton Candy Beard, the most infamous pirate of the seven seas. After meself, of course!” Rainbow crowed in anticipation.
“Aye Aye, Captain Dash ma’am!” Her crew shouted back.
“Quartermaster Fluttershy, how look our supplies?” Rainbow asked.
“Supplies are good for another two months, captain!” Fluttershy eagerly answered.
“Good, now all ye landlubbers get ta yer rowboats! We have treasure to plunder!” Rainbow roared and soon thereafter, they made landfall and before they knew it, the treasure was unearthed. With a huge grin on her face, Rainbow opened the chest.
“I love you, Rainbow!”
“I love you too!”
“Oh, me too, me too!” Suddenly Rainbow was besieged by a swarm of mini-Pinkies all declaring their love for her.
“AHHHHHH!” Rainbow shouted in terror, but they had her wings pinned before she could escape.
“BEGONE!” Luna blasted away the fake Pinkies, freeing Rainbow.
“OK, I’m going to need to get a piece of that Tantabus. I’M GONNA MAKE IT PAY!” Rainbow screamed in rage.
“No time for that now, I have to capture it first!” Luna replied as she dove after the Tantabus back into the Dream Realm.
“What the fuck is this..?” Luna had no words for what she was seeing. Apparently the Tantabus, which was hovering on the other side of the arena, was thinking similar things as it just hovered there.
In the arena itself stood Duskfall, wearing an old fashioned tricorn hat, a gray duster coat, and brown leather boots on each of her hooves, and a reddish brown bandanna covering her face. In her magic she held what looked to be a saw attached to a shaft of wood.
None of this is what shocked Luna and the Tantabus. No, what stopped them both dead was the appalling amalgamation of rotting flesh and bone that dwarfed Duskfall’s size many times over. Duskfall was sprinting around the arena at a full gallop, sliding around the monstrosity’s attacks and lashing out with the saw at the same time. Luna couldn’t see Duskfall’s muzzle, but her eyes held a look of savage glee. She was having fun facing down this terrible thing!
“Duskfall, what is that?!” Luna finally gathered the wits required to shout.
“My just desserts for thinking I could be clever before your sleep spell took hold!” Duskfall called back without missing a beat, “Allow me to introduce The One Reborn, one of the ugliest things to ever grace the Human Consciousness! Tom never actually got around to playing Bloodborne, but his friends were crazy about it.”
“So you’re alright to deal with this…thing?” Luna asked.
“Yeah, this is fun! Even if it does get out of hand, Twilight taught herself to lucid dream almost immediately after your return. Anyway, aren’t you supposed to be hunting, Good Hunter?” Duskfall nodded towards the Tantabus. Her lapse of focus almost got her squashed, but she dodge rolled at the last moment.
The Tantabus, seeming to realize it was being talked about, slipped once more into the Dream Realm. With one final shudder as she looked at the grotesque creature, Luna followed.
Moon Dancer was alone. Had she ever known the company of another? She couldn’t remember. All that existed was her room and her straightjacket. Maybe that was all that ever existed. There was something soothing in the isolation. There was calmness in not being able to move, to hurt herself. What had she been worried about again? It all seemed like a story she had been told once when she had been only half paying attention.
“They abandoned you,” A voice called from the void.
“Who’s there?” Moon Dancer’s own voice surprised her.
“You are worthless,” The same voice said.
“Stop it!” Moon Dancer cried out. Suddenly her straightjacket felt like a prison. She wanted to run away from the voice.
“Who could ever love a pathetic excuse for a mare like you?” The voice continued.
“SHUT UP!” Moon Dancer screamed.
“Moon Dancer, you have friends that care about you! You are stronger than you believe!” Luna burst onto the scene. Suddenly everything came back to Moon Dancer. Her friends, the good times she had with them. The straightjacket fell away and Moon Dancer stood on her own four hooves.
“I locked myself away. I won’t make the same mistake twice!” Moon Dancer swore. Suddenly her world exploded into colors and on the horizon she could see all her friends waiting for her.
The Tantabus was threatening to swallow the whole of the Dream Realm. No longer content with a mere handful of ponies, it was now exerting its influence on all of Ponyville. Luna could sense the fabric between the Waking World and Dream Realm beginning to wear thin as the Tantabus pressed against it. It was time to take desperate action.
Focusing every scrap of power she had, she reached out to every dreamer in Ponyville and brought their dreams into a single shared dream. This had the desired effect of trapping the Tantabus in that dream, but with so many dreamers, Luna could only barely maintain the dream.
Duskfall was the first to catch on to what was happening. She offered a quick word of thanks that she had been able to kill The One Reborn just before the dreams had been merged. Everything in this shared dream was exceptional. Discord would’ve had a field day with this place, if he dreamed the same way mortals dreamed. Duskfall smirked as she spotted Lyra and Bonnie.
“A little on the nose, isn’t it?” Duskfall asked the conjoined mares. Lyra answered with a raspberry.
“Jealous, Dusky?” Bonnie teased.
“Hmm, maybe~” Duskfall snarked back.
“Oh, right, before I forget, you are coming to our place on Friday, got it missy?” Lyra ordered.
“Yes ma’am!” Duskfall saluted. Before they could appreciate this wonderland of imagination further, Luna called out.
“Everyone, heed me!” The populous gathered around Luna, who was in a bubble and clearly straining to keep the dream in one piece, “A terrible force known as the Tantabus is threatening to break into the Waking World and plunge it into eternal nightmare! Here it comes!”
The Tantabus, once a small wisp of magic, was now a huge blob threatening to cover the town. Luna tried to blast it, but was only able to weaken it slightly before the strain threatened to unravel the dream. The people of Ponyville fled, but the Elements, Chrysalis, Spike, Coco, and Moon Dancer gave chase.
The Tantabus flew around town, turning the buildings into monsters, causing further panic. Just trying to chase the Tantabus around with their small group wasn’t going to achieve anything. Duskfall amplified her voice.
“Everyone, this is a dream! The only limit here is your imagination! FIGH BACK!” Duskfall bellowed. Her message had the desired effect. The Tantabus made its first bid to escape the Dream Realm, but was quickly stopped by a Kaiju Derpy with a gallant knight Spike on her back.
Seeing their success, the rest of Ponyville stepped up. Suddenly the Tantabus was swarmed by golems created by Diamond Tiara. It was assaulted with a stream of bits courtesy of Filthy Rich. Thunderlane took on the role of a Greek god and sent masses of thunderbolts at the Tantabus. Alicorn Big Mac barreled into it using his Earth Pony strength, Pegasus flight, and Unicorn magic. Applejack summoned a pair of six shooters and unloaded into the Tantabus. Chrysalis became an Ursa Major and tackled the Tantabus. Carrot Top produced a giant carrot and used it as a baseball bat.
“Well, I’m not gonna sit this one out,” Duskfall’s grin turned vicious as she ditched the Hunter attire and instead donned something with way too many zippers and belts. Her saw cleaver was replaced with Two Become One, “CHARGE!”
All of Ponyville was on the attack, but the Tantabus seemed to only treat the assault as minor annoyances.
“I can’t hold the dream together much longer!” Luna warned, “If I fail, all of Equuis will be doomed and it will be all my fault!” Suddenly the Tantabus surged, knocking away everyone and growing even bigger.
“Am I crazy or did it just get bigger after Luna said that?” Spike asked. It was quite an astute observation from the young dragon.
“Luna, that thing is feeding off your negative emotions!” Duskfall exclaimed.
“Mayhap that is how it escaped my dreams in the first place. I created the Tantabus to give myself nightmares night after night. It was at first to punish myself for the damage I had done leading up to and during my time as Nightmare Moon. Then it served another purpose after Tom and Twilight’s death,” Luna confessed.
“Lulu you stupid bitch!” Chrysalis screamed at her friend, “How is this any different from Moon Dancer cutting herself?! IT SERVES NO PURPOSE!”
“I know… I just couldn’t bring myself to stop,” Luna sobbed.
“We can all yell at Luna for this later! For now we have a crisis!” Duskfall turned to the crowd, “Everyone get behind me! I’m gonna try something dangerous and I’d rather there not be any collateral!”
The residents of Ponyville obediently got behind Duskfall as she summoned a clone of herself. She then created a small red orb and passed it onto the clone.
“Raising Heart, set up,” The clone commanded.
“Standby ready…set up,” a metallic feminine voice called out. In a flash of light, the clone was clothed in a white dress with red and blue accents.
“Barrier Jacket…100%”
“Mana Pool… 100%”
“Set up complete. Awaiting orders, my master,” The red orb finally transformed into a long white and gold staff.
While this was happening, the original was pointing her keyblade directly at the Tantabus and muttering something over and over. Those closest to her could barely make it out.
Break the Bond
Cut the Fabric
Cleave the Stone
Stop the Magic
A stream of magic poured from her horn and turned black as it gathered at the tip of her Keyblade. The clone opened her mouth to speak as she pointed the staff at the Tantabus also.
“I summon the light of destruction down upon my prisoners. Stars, gather, and become the light which pierces everything. Tear through everything in a blaze of light!”
“FIRE!” Both shouted at the same time. A pale pink laser and a pitch black one were unleashed together, orbiting around each other before fusing just as they came into contact with the Tantabus.
The Tantabus screeched in pain. It lost shape and size at an incredible rate until it was once again barely more than a wisp of magic. The clone dissipated and Duskfall collapsed in a heap.
“Duskfall!” Everyone who could rushed to her side.
“I’m fine. Not doing that again anytime soon,” Duskfall groaned as she tried and failed to stand up.
“Now that the immediate threat is dealt with, Luna, what the fuck were you thinking?!” Chrysalis shouted.
“I have nearly brought doom to Equuis again…why can I do nothing right?!” Luna cried.
“Who fucking cares?! I’d be more worried if Equuis wasn’t facing a world ending threat at least once a month!” Duskfall barked, “So you fucked up a couple of times, so what?! Everyone forgave Twilight after the want-it need-it incident! Everyone forgave Trixie after the Alicorn Amulet incident! Everyone forgave Applejack for the Baked Bads! I could go on!” Duskfall forced herself to stand up with the strength of anger and marched herself into Luna’s face.
“Luna. I! FORGIVE! YOU! It was never your fault to begin with! Everything was just a series of unfortunate events! Now please give yourself some measure of forgiveness so we can get rid of the Tantabus and get you an appointment with a therapist. I hate to break it to you, but spouting pretty words was Twilight’s forte, not mine,” Duskfall’s strength spent once more, she fell over again.
“Is it really so simple?” Luna asked meekly.
“It can be,” Moon Dancer shrugged, “We were doing the same thing for different reasons. Either way, it ultimately boils down to self-hatred. Can you remember the things that make you great, Luna? Your humor? Your willingness to help others? Your Loyalty? Your good Heart?”
“All this may seem insurmountable, Lulu, but you’ve made it this far. You can’t give up now,” Chrysalis pleaded. Luna started to laugh weakly.
“Look at me…almost four thousand years old and I still need to be lectured like a foal. Aren’t I pathetic? But you have a point. I can’t simply give up now. I have to keep fighting. For my sister, for my friends, for my people, I will keep fighting,” As Luna stated her resolve, the Tantabus dissolved completely. With the mission completed, the shared dream came to an end. Now all that was left was to look forward to a new dawn.
Next Chapter: Nightmare Night Shenanigans Estimated time remaining: 6 Hours, 42 MinutesAuthor's Notes:
OK, so everything's worked out so I only have dog duty 3 days a week.
This chapter was hard to write. I had to think of different things the crew would be dreaming of that would reflect them but not steal from the episode. Except Fluttershy's dream, because that was perfect as is. Pinkie's I left more or less intact because I think whoever thought Pinkie Pie of all ponies would be afraid of cake must have been smoking that dank kush. 420 blaze it... Kids still say that, right?
The Star vs. The Forces of Evil season 4 might have been a dumpster fire to end all dumpster fires, but given the series finale was the only time I could understand the Whispering Spell and didn't have to rely on guesses that's what I used. It doesn't hurt that the finale version of the Whispering Spell is kinda sexy sounding.
Duskfall wielding Two Become One was so obvious I couldn't do anything else. If I had chosen anything else I would be eternally disappointed in myself. You guys would've been disappointed in me. Now that it's over and done with What Keyblade would you choose for Duskfall? Comment below!
I know a lot of people don't care for this episode. Hopefully I put it in a context that was at least tolerable.