#5 - Marty The...Stu...?

Interview is non-canon to Marty’s story.

“Are you sure that he’s here?” Dave asked.

“I’m positive this time!” Puppy sighed, wearily trotting into the town.

“That’s what you said in Baltimare. And in Canterlot. And in Ponyville. And in the Everfree. And in Dredgemane. And in-”

“I get it!” the journalist snapped. “We’ve been running around on a wild goose chase, trying to find some stupid slippery snake person!”

“Nice use of alliteration.”

Dave flinched at the glare Pup shot at him. Perhaps it was time to stop antagonizing her with his incredible wit and charm.

“Sure there isn’t another word for ‘person’ that starts with an S though?”

There was an audible snapping sound as Puppy whirled around, and started to try and hit the poor, foolish sprite with her bags. The chase went on for a good two hours, with Dave finally being smacked fully in the face by an angry Pegasus’ wings.

They’re not as soft as everyone says they are. Dave learned that the hard way today.

OIOIOIOIOIOIO

That night, Puppy and Dave (wearing a miniature full-body cast) ended up returning to their hotel in the small town of Coltogne. It had been another day of failed searching, and it was starting to wear down on Puppy. She knew it wasn’t her senses failing her...it seemed more like their target was leaping all over Equestria! One moment, he’d be in Canterlot, and the next, he’d be in Wethoof! For the life of her, she just didn’t know HOW he was doing it!

Exhausted, the Pegasus laid her head down on her pillow, and instantly fell asleep.

OIOIOIOIOIOIO

Marty stands at his forge, when a pegasus trots up to it. “Hello there sir, My name is Puppy Love and I have a question for you. Is your name Marty Stu?”

Marty looks at her, and smiles. “No.”

Puppy looks incredibly defeated, like a whipped puppy or something.

Marty feels bad for the joke, but answers her all the same as she turns about. “My title on the other hand, is.”

Puppy turns about, a look of relief, anger, and maybe a couple other emotions playing across her face. “You *&@^!@# of a &!*$%@! snaking *@&!#$!& Celestia’s !!#$%!!. I’ve been looking for you for a month! I’ve traveled the length and breadth of Equestria. I’ve seen more towns this last month than I normally do in two years. How are you able to get around the planet so quickly? Oh... and would you give me an interview?”

Marty takes a look at her, notes the random cricket, then smiles at her outburst. “I’ll give you an interview, and I’ll throw in a little extra. How would you feel about seeing the world of dreams while awake?”

“Wait. What? How?” Puppy looks incredibly incredulous and interested.

“Trade secret. But would you want to? I’ll make sure that nothing bad happens to you, and that you don’t hurt anything.” Marty has a look of pure generosity on his face.

Puppy looks unsure, but decides to go with it. “S-s-s-sure.”

“Excellent.” Marty opens a rectangular doorway, and bows with his arm outstretched to the opening. “After you, mademoiselle.”

Puppy walks in, Marty slithers in after her. Shuts the door behind him.

Marty shows her the stars above, and the seapony lands right in front of them, before jumping into an ocean of soda. Deep parts of the jungle, and a high security vault of a bank.

As Puppy stared in amazement at everything below her, a giant marshmallow chair lifted her into the air.

“Shall we begin?” Marty asked.

INTERVIEW

“So, what are you, exactly?”

“Do you want the scary, accurate answer, or the not-so scary, semi-accurate answer?”

“Which would you be more comfortable with being in a newspaper?”

“Yeah, I’m a Yuan-Ti Halfblood.”

“...And that is...?”

“A creature from outside this reality that is more or less half human and half snake.”

“Ah, so you’re a human like the others. Were you sent here by a god as well? If so, which one, and did they give you any powers?”

“I was directed here by an ascendant, yes. They are named Oponn, and they added a bit more luck to my life. I have my own abilities, as well as the ones native to this body. Don’t ask about them, the former would take all night to explain, and the latter I could not with good conscience tell you.”

“It sounds as if you’ve been through the ringer. I suppose that asking about your past is off limits?”

“Only some of it, and what I would be willing to tell you could take a great deal of time to tell you. Suffice to say, I’m quite old, despite the brown in my hair.”

“You definitely could have fooled me. Anyways, how did you get to be like that? None of the other humans seemed to be...well, like that.”

“Are you talking about my age or my body?”

“More age. I’m sure that not every pony wants to know about what kind of skincare products you use.”

“The short of it is, I found a djinn, made a few wishes, and made an explosion. Which, allowed me to become stupid old.”

“What is it with you humans and explosions?”

“Depending on the type, they’re a lot of fun. Fireworks, for example.”

“Okay, you have me there...so, how is life in Equestria suiting you? Any notable events come to mind?”

“Besides waking up something besides human? Not anything too interesting, unless you count rescuing slaves, hunting for artifacts, and researching to be interesting.”

“Well, I’m sure I could squeeze something out of it. It won’t win a Muleitzer, but it can work.”

*Marty clutches his hand to his heart at how bad the inter-dimensional pun is*

“Is something wrong, Mr. Stu?”

“Nothing, just noting another thing different between dimensions. Sometimes the differences and similarities can be really jarring.”

“Ah. Well, in that case, mind if I ask about the slaves? If I recall correctly, wasn’t Violet Melody one of the ones you rescued?”

“Yes. It happened the day after I arrived in your dimension, in fact. Her and twenty-nine other enslaved ponies.”

“And you single ho- Erm, handedly, rescued them all? You must be quite the warrior to have pulled that off.”

“Well, when you can stand up to a so-called god and win, a troupe of gamma and delta diamond dogs don’t really stand a chance.”

“You’ve fought...I shouldn’t be surprised. We’re talking inside of a dream realm, for Celestia’s sake! Speaking of which...how is that even possible?”

“Oh, Tel’aran’rhiod is the realm where dreams become a reality. Think of it as a world that interconnects all dreamers everywhere. A dreamer can purposely or accidentally send their minds into it, and interact with it. Someone like me, on the other hand, can send my and other’s physical bodies into it.”

“You have power over dreams? That’s incredible!”

“Yes, yes it is. But how else do you explain what you’ve been seeing?”

“Spiked drinks? They’ve done the same thing in Las Pegasus.”

“That type of hallucination is considerably less controlled than this.”

“Touche. Alright, so many of the other humans have been reported to have spoken to the Princesses at least once. Have you done that yet, or plan on it?”

“I had a ‘message’ I had to give to the Princesses, so yes, yes I did. I also needed their permission to use their library.”

“How did that turn out?”

“They listened to me, and I did get permission to use their library... until that idiot bugbear burned it down.”

“Ah, yes, I heard about that. Did you still find what you were looking for?”

“I found enough to start my search, as well as learn about the ‘Dragon Sage’.”

“The...what?”

“An ancient dragon that has knowledge as his horde, rather than gems and precious metals. Eccentric for an Equestrian dragon.”

“Ah. That makes sense, I suppose.”

“Yup”

“So, before I forget to ask, may I ask if there is anything between you and Violet? I noticed that you two seem to have a bit of a history outside of saving her from the slaves.”

“Well, to put it bluntly, we’re dating.”

“Oh? How would you say that i- No, wait. I shouldn’t ask, or else this would become one of those horrible tabloid magazines...SO! What are your plans for the future, then?”

“Live one day at a time, make sure that nothing destroys Equestria, things like that.”

“That’s a great plan. Much more thought out than all of the others. Anything you’d like to say to the readers at home?”

“Not really, all I have is cliches running through my head.”

“You can still use them. Maybe get revenge on any Language Arts teachers that may be reading.”

“Guten Abend, Fraulein. I think I should take you back to reality.”

“Well, thank you for your time, Mr. Stu,” Puppy said, smiling at the serpentine figure.

“No problem,” he responded. “Now...wake up.”

OIOIOIOIOIOIOIO

Startled, the Pegasus shot up from her bed...and realized she dreamed almost the entire interview.

“CELESTIA DAMN IT!” she cursed, throwing her pillow against a wall in frustration. Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted something that gave her pause to her rampage of sleepy rage.

Dear Puppy,

        Ha. Dream worlds can really do a number on you, huh?

                -Marty Stu

“...He’s worse than Dave, isn’t he?” she muttered.

Marty is from Keairan's story, "A Marty Stu Invades the Multiverse (Chess Game of The Gods)"

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