#1 - Jazz the Cat

Puppy Love had trekked across the vast expanse of Equestria multiple times in the past. No matter where she went, she always knew where her target was, and could track it down with the fine precision of a hawk.

And she was lost.

“...Dave?” she finally asked after circling the same expanse of forest for an hour.

“Yeeeessss?” the sprite asked from his traditional perch, a fluffed up bit of her mane.

“I’ve never failed to find my target...so...”

“You’re lost, aren’t you?”

“...Maaayyybeee.”

Dave sighed, and kicked away his miniature tanning mirror, deciding he could deal with that later. “Alright, so you’re saying this gu-” he paused suddenly, and scratched his head thoughtfully. “Actually, who ARE we tracking down?”

The journalist rifled around her saddlebags, before coming up with a list of names. “Well, according to those ponies we interviewed-”

“Interrogated,” Dave coughed.

“INTERVIEWED. There’ve been sightings of a strange cat in the woods near Baltimare.”

“What was so strange about it?” he asked, curious.

“It wore a bowler hat, a suit, and was surrounded by animals,” she deadpanned.

The cricket rolled his eyes, and said, “Alright, alright. So, have you thought about checking the ground?”

“...” Puppy face-hooved herself, and altered her course.

OIOIOIOIOIOIO

As the two friends started to search the forest floor, Dave noticed something odd about one of the trees. It was small, fairly subtle, and perfectly unnoticeable in most circumstances.

“Hey, Pup? Do you see that giant neon-sign that says, ‘Pull the lever’ too?”

The pegasus glanced at where Dave pointed, and cringed visibly. “Yes, yes I do.”

Indeed, there were two levers underneath said sign. One had a blue handle, while the other had a red one.

“So...should we...?” Puppy trailed off, and rolled her hoof at the levers.

“Yeah.” Dave cleared his throat, as he dramatically pointed at the tree, and shouted, “PULL THE LEVER, PUP!”

Puppy placed a hoof on the red one, and pulled...opening a trap door, and causing her to plummet into a pond filled with alligators. Quickly, she flared her wings open, and dashed away, desperately clinging to the ground when she reached it.

“WRONG. LEVER!” Dave shouted, clutching Pup’s mane for dear life.

Trembling, Pup decided to not listen to the nagging voice inside of her head that was cussing so violently that it would make a Royal Guard member blush, and she pulled the blue lever this time.

Without warning, the ground once more shifted wildly, this time flipping her inside of the tree, causing her to land in a cat-shaped...well, carriage was the closest word she had for it. The odd thing about it was that it was hooked up to a set of narrow train tracks, and had an open top.

A silver bar closed down on her, firmly securing the Pegasus to the carriage, as a voice said, “Please keep all form of appendages inside the carriage at all times, except when you reach a hill or sharp turn. Then feel free to flail about like a maniac.”

“Wait, wha-AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!”

The cart shot forward with the speed of a bullet, forcing her to the back of her seat. While she did her best to not hurl, Dave waved his arms around, and shouted, “Puppy, it’s more fun when you put your ha-, erm, hooves in the air!”

When the machine reached a sharp turn, it took Puppy’s entire willpower to not scream in fear, as the speed nearly threw them off the track entirely. Just when she thought she was going to hurl, the cart slowed down, and entered a brightly colored room filled with stuffed animals and flowers.

“...” was the only response that the two friends could think of...until the animals started bobbing up and down to a sickeningly cheerful tune.

“It’s a small world after all! It’s a small world after all!”

Dave plugged up his ears, and shouted, “GAH! NO! MAKE IT STOP, MAKE IT STOP!”

Mercifully, the cart reached the end of the room, and once more lurched forward in a manic burst of speed. After another series of death defying turns, the cart crashed into a beam of some sort, and launched the two out of the ride. When they landed, they were a bit surprised to see that they had been fitted with dark blue suits that fit them to a tee.

“...I think I forgive whoever made that Celestia-Forsaken ride now,” Pup commented, eying the suit appreciatively.

A sudden growl sounded out from the area around them, catching the two off guard. When they looked up, they were more than shocked to see that they had been surrounded by a variety of knife wielding...mice?

One of them a brown mouse with goggles, a bandanna and a blue jacket, stepped forward, a dark glare on his face.

“Da boss was expectin’ youse two,” he stated, gesturing to an open door.

Puppy, on the other hoof, had an entirely different reaction.

“D’aaaawww! The little mousie is wearing pony clothes! He’s sooooo cuuuuute!”

The mouse looked aghast at this sudden outburst, and opened his mouth to let loose with a fiery storm of raging insults, but was scooped up by Puppy before he could do so.

“Awww, and you’ve even got a wittle jacket!”

“H-h-hey! Cut it out!” the mouse protested, feeling his ribs nearly get cracked under the pressure being put upon them by the Pegasus’ hug.

“Rocko!” a voice called out from the open door. “Don’t be rude. Let our guests in...I’m sure the Pegasus would like her interview, wouldn’t she?”

As if those were the magic words, Pup tossed the mouse casually over her shoulders, and dashed off, eager to finally get a story. Dave mentally sighed, and facepalmed the antics of his easily distracted friend.

OIOIOIOIOIOIO

The room they had been lead to was enormous. Towering bookshelves lined the walls, while the floor was covered in a deep red carpet. A portrait of a black cat sat on the wall opposite of them, with a dark colored wooden desk set in front of it. Mountains of paper had been set on said desk, threatening to break it with its sheer weight.

A leather chair currently had its back to them.

“So, what do you think of my desk?” a voice asked from the chair. “It’s made of the finest mahogany.”

“...Erm...it’s very nice?”

“Maaahogany,” the voice sounded out, caressing the word as he would a lover. “Mahhhooooogany. MaaHHHoooGGGAAAnnnyyyyy.”

“...What?”

“Mahogany.”

Dave nodded sagely, and said, “It’s a fine material.”

“Indeed,” the voice replied. “Now, I have it on good material that...” The chair suddenly flipped around, revealing a black cat clad in what was arguably the most sophisticated suit in all of Equestria, with a dapper bowler hat placed on his head. “You wished to speak with me?”

Puppy cleared her throat, and mentally reviewed her speech that she had prepared. She knew that if she were going to make a case, she needed to have a valid reason to get them to answer her questions.

“Sir, my name is Puppy Love. I’m a journalist working for the Ponyville Inquirer, and I was hoping that I could interview you fo-”

“If it’ll get me away from this paperwork, I’ll answer anything you ask me!” The cat cried out, sweeping aside the paper and shoveling it onto the floor.

“...Well, that was easy,” Dave dryly commented.

The Pegasus smiled happily, while the sprite pulled out a sheet of paper so he could record everything said.

“Alright, let’s get this started...”

INTERVIEW

“So, let’s ask the obvious question first. What is your name?”

“My name is Jazz ‘The cat’ Di Vongola.”

“Alright...and what, exactly, are you? I don’t mean to be rude, but...cats normally don’t talk.”

“Ah, ‘what’ am I? What are we? Who are we and what are we doing here? A deep question indeed!”

“...No, I meant, what is your species?”

“I’m a cat.... Duh!”

“...Okay, we’ll come back to that later. Lately, there have been many rumors circulating Equestria about aliens from another universe that have been invading our world. Do you happen to know anything about that?”

“OK, you got me. I’m a cat from outer space. I have come to take your earthly resources and impregnate your women!... But in all seriousness, yes I’m one of those aliens.”

“...So, they’re actually true? You really are an alien? But how did you get here?”

“Well, mah buddy Keith and I... I’m sorry that was in bad taste and you wouldn’t get the joke anyways. I got contacted by a god and was sent to Equestria as his champion for some game or whatever. Still haven’t figured out what that is about, but for now, I don’t really care.”

“...A god? Which one? And is he the reason why you can talk?”

“Well, of course you wouldn’t know of him, but it was the Greek god of Dreams. His name is Morpheus. Great guy actually. And on the matter of talking, I suspect he has a finger in it, but I actually did some research on the matter! Apparently there’s 3 types of animals in Equestria: Alpha, Beta and Gamma. Gammas are the animals that are only able to talk with their own species. Betas can talk with all animals, including the Gammas of course. Those are by far the most normal ones. And then the rare Alphas. We’re able to talk with both Betas and all other living sentient beings. Kinda nifty. You’ve met Rocko, the mouse already, right? He’s an Alpha as well.”

“...That was certainly long-winded, but it does explain a lot. Now, is there anything else unusual that you, yourself, can do, being a chosen of a god, or anything like that? Or did you earn them through some form of adventure? I recall the ponies of Baltimare saying they had been through an extravagant amount of musical numbers. Is this your doing?

“You gotta love a good musical number once in a while, don’t ya? But yes, I do have a paw in those musicals. When Morph sent me here, he gave me the power of dreams, which is really just a fancy name for illusions. I can mess around with the five senses for all within a field. I just have to concentrate well enough on it... otherwise things get weird...”

“Because a talking cat isn’t weird enough already.”

“I do manage to make people turn a few heads now and then, yeah.”

“Hmm...alright, we’ve established who you are. Now, what are your plans for the future? And what of this...animal group, that seems to follow your every beck and call?”

“Saying that I order them around is a strong accusation. Really, they are more like a family to me, not just in the mafia-family way. While I do lead them, it is more a matter of organizing them. We’re trying to gather all the animal groups in Equestria, under a single banner. We call the group ‘The Big Cheese’. Eventually we hope to have a big enough network, so that we can gather information for the ones who are able to make bigger changes than we can ourselves.”

“An admirable goal. So, where are you going next?”

“For right now, we’re still trying to get the Baltimare-group going again. The last boss made a real mess of everything. Huge amount of monkey-business and whatnot. I had to hit him in the face with a trout while yelling “THIS. IS. EQUESTRIA!” to get him to stop. But after we get this done... or whenever I get through all of those freaking papers, we’re heading towards Ponyville to get our newest recruit.”

“Well, I hope they’ll be ready for you...okay, Dave won’t let it go if I don’t ask this, but...what’s with the suit?”

“Well, my own suit is one I got for the Grand Galloping Gala, but things... didn’t go too hot. I liked it so much that I kept it and wear it all the time. It’s as much ‘me’ as my bowler hat. And your own suits, well... You like it, don’t you Dave? Nothing suits you like a suit!”

“*Ahem*, Oh, geez, will you look at the time? Now, is there anything you’d like to say to the ponies who might be reading this paper?”

“Hmm... Lemme see. Yes, as a matter of fact there is. One of the reasons we’re even doing this whole network-thing, is to secure Equestria of course. Now, the reasons we want to do so is to protect the next generation. I want to make sure that the children can grow up with smiles on their faces, live a life without having to worry about being captured by slavers and really just help the world. That is my dream. My message to all is to try as much as you can to help us. Not directly, but please do what you can to protect the young ones.”

“...*Sniff*.”

Dave wiped away Puppy’s tear, while she thanked Jazz for the interview. “I hope everything works out for you, good sir.”

“Thank you... Ehm, need a tissue?”

“No, no, I’m fine,” Pup insisted. “Thank you for your time. Be on the lookout for this interview! It should make the first page by the time I’m done with it! Now then, I’ll get this home, and go...find...um...”

The sprite facepalmed once more. “You have no idea who to talk to next, do you?”

“I think I can help you with that.” Jazz got up from his chair and walked over to a stack of papers. He began tossing papers left and right, muttering to himself all the while. “HEY LILLY! HAVE YOU SEEN THE REPORT FROM ANGEL IN PONYVILLE?”

...What have I gotten myself into? Puppy wondered sarcastically.

A small mouse with big glasses came into the room, wearing an unamused look on her face. “Really? You lost another report?” She walked to the desk and grabbed a file, tossing it nonchalantly to Jazz. She began walking out again. “How is this organization still standing...?”

Jazz opened the file and began skimming it. “Ah there we are!” He turned to Puppy. “I have the PURRFECT person for you to talk to!”

“Wait!” Dave shouted. “Are we really going to end this on a pun?!

...Yes, yes we are.

T/N: Alright, so we'll be moving from character to character as time goes on. The authors of each story will be in charge of whether they want this to be canon or not.

And Jazz the Cat is from the story, "Dreaming of Paws".

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