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Puppy Love's Chess Game

by Nathan Traveler

Chapters

Exposition: About Puppy Love

Exposition:

About Puppy Love


Puppy Love had a simple foalhood, at least until she earned her cutie mark; a perky little Pegasus filly with a pale green coat, and dark, green and brown mane and tail. She was a little smaller than most mares her age. Her parents were Earth Ponies with recessive Pegasus genes. Her mother, Vivid Dream, was a Doctor at Fillydelphia Hospital hailing from Ponyville, while her father was the famed musician, Johnny Bits, born and raised in Apploosa. He was often out on tour and away from the family.

School had been normal. Puppy had friends and enemies like any foal. She wasn’t the last in her year to get her cutie mark, nor was she the first. Her father was performing in Fillydelphia, and Puppy was anxious to see him there. So, she came back from school, dropped off her stuff, grabbed her VIP pass and rushed back out the front door. She was meant to wait for Vivid to get back from work and they would go together. Puppy very quickly got lost in the large city.

She had been obsessing over her dad’s music a lot over the past few weeks, and it had got the best of her in the last moments. Sat on a bench in an unknown park, and on the verge of tears, Puppy felt a strange feeling in her heart. It felt like it was pulling her. Puppy was also a curious filly, and with the opinion that she couldn’t get any more lost, she followed her tugging heart. There was no precision to the direction of pull, and eventually it start become vaguer, its force weakening. By this time though, the massive venue building that was Puppy’s intended destination was in view.

She met the guard at the backdoor. He let her in, calling over another pony to guide her. The guide led her to her father, who, before seeing his daughter, had a worried expression. He saw her, hugged her, almost suffocating her in the embrace. Vivid arrived shortly thereafter and mimicked her husband. Eventually both parents calmed down, and that was when they noticed her newly apparent cutie mark. It was a winged heart with speed marks, seeming to be travelling quite fast. Needless to say, the combination of the cutie mark discovery and Johnny’s gig, that night was the best moments in Puppy’s life.

*

The second greatest moment in her life was when she met her BBFEFL (Bestest Best Friend EVER For Life!)… Dave. Puppy was in her last year at school. At this point, she had grown used to her special talent, and could give it an adequate description: ‘To have a natural long range compass directing her towards her latest obsession.’ This was used to her advantage as a reporter for the school newspaper. No-one, and I mean NO-ONE, got away from her. She’d mastered the streets and paths of Fillydelphia so that, once she was too close for her special talent to help, she was close enough to work the rest out herself. That and she could spot anyone she wanted out of a crowd. Needles in haystacks weren’t a problem for her.

On the day she met Dave, the school was visiting Ponyville to witness their traditional Winter Wrap-Up. Puppy’s most recent obsession had been the dangerous creatures of Equestria such as Manticores and Timberwolves. So it was no surprise to her teacher that Puppy had snuck off to Everfree Forest, bar the fact that she’d been keeping a vigil eye on the silly filly, and said filly had disappeared right in front of her (Little was it known that Pinkie would later adapt this technique after leaving her current residence at the Rock Farm).

Puppy had the belief that her natural colouring and some extra mud to cover her scent (she does do some research so give her some credit) would help her hide in the bushes and spy on the wildlife. Her theory proved itself right, as after a few of hours, she had sketched a Manticore, a pack of Timberwolves and even a Cockatrice. She also took notes on the experience of seeing them first hand. The day eventually started turning to night and Puppy quietly started on her way back, remembering the route she came. A male voice spoke out and made Puppy freeze on the spot.

“For a pony with mad ninja skillz, I am somewhat confused as to why you’re about to step in some Poison Joke.”

Puppy looked down at her forehoof, which was hovering over a familiar patch of flowers. She had passed it on her through earlier that day, but had avoided going through it due to its blue colouring. Now, the dark night had sapped the colours of day away, and the unsuspecting Pegasus no longer cared about the flowers, seeing as they, and herself, were now different shades of darkness. She retracted her hoof and looked around for the voice.

“Who’s there?”

“I’d answer you properly, but I don’t really have a name per say; never needed one.”

The voice came from underneath. Jumping back, Puppy saw something small where she had been stood.

“My brethren know me as -silence-, though you probably didn’t get that as not even unicorns can pick up the magical wave I exuded to identify myself.”

“What are you?”

“Now that I can answer! I am a magical sprite of the cricket family, 314th generation, formerly in line to be head of said family, and former guardian of this subsection, designated ‘Cricket Pi’, of Everfree Forest.” As he said this, the sprite began to glow in the dark.

“’Former guardian’? What are you on about?”

“Well, I’ve recently been bored with the whole watching over the area. Interaction is forbidden you see, except for emergencies. I’ve always wanted to spruce things up. Then you come along, going all Stealth Mode, and fearlessly stalking creatures that would kick themselves if they knew a potential meal had been so close. So, while stalking the Stalker of the Woods (as I took to calling you), I posted my resignation over the Intersprite (Patent Pending).”

“What? Why?” Puppy still hadn’t realised she was talking to an undiscovered species.

“Well, to hang out with you of course! You’re frickin’ awesome! I just know if I stay with you, I’ll see some cool stuff. And, assuming that, like most ponies, you don’t live in this drab place, I can do whatever the heck I want. It’s gonna be sweeeeeeeet!”

“Buh…Wuh… Guh… HUH!?”

“Soooooooo, you know who I am… well, sorta… Aren’t you gonna be all polite and tell me who you are?”

“…Puppy…”

“Bit short for a pony name. And silly I might add.”

“Puppy Love.” The confused Pegasus put herself back together. “Can I give you name that I can actually say?”

“Go ahead. What’d you have in mind?”

She didn’t know. This thing- erm, sprite, was just so random. Maybe just the first thing that came to her head… Jim? No, that sounded… taken for some reason. Maybe…

“Dave; how’s that?”

“Where’d you get ‘Dave’ from? Not very pony-esque, is it?”

“I dunno… It just came to me. Don’t you like it?”

“Hmm… Dave… Dave… Dave...D-” He carried on repeating the name in different tones and accents, until finally, “DAVE! IIIII LLLLLIKE IT!”

“Keep it down!” Puppy hissed.

Sadly, there were heard, and a roar came in reply.

“Aaaaaaaand we’re outta here!” Dave called out, zooming off through the Poison Joke. Puppy was not too far behind, fear blinding her to the mistake she just made.

They did make it out safely, thankfully, and once there were they burst out laughing for some reason Puppy can’t explain to this day. They made it back to the hotel, Puppy introduced Dave to her teacher, distracting her from the lecture she was giving, as well as to her friends. The next day, the Poison Joke kicked in, making Puppy Love the slowest moving pony ever, and so had to be carried to the train. Dave was unaffected, which he explained with an anecdote on how he’d touched the stuff before without any problems. His family doctor told him that he was so random the flowers couldn’t do anything as it was only a physical ailment, and would not affect the mind.

The two new friends spent the train journey telling each other of their lives so far. Dave was the first-born of his generation, with countless siblings, all now having moved up a rank with his departure. His magical gifts included glowing, telekinesis and teleportation of himself and objects. The objects were limited to whatever was within sealed containers (from boxes to rooms) marked with a symbol of his choosing. And they could only be teleported between Dave and their specific containers. A handy trick to know, as the two of them would find out.

*

Puppy Love was now nineteen years old. Upon finishing school she had found a job with the Ponyville Inquirer. They were an honest newspaper that went to many major towns and cities in Equestria, covering news all over the country, but have since suffered under the competition of the Tabloids. Slowly but surely, they shrank back to their original place of print Ponyville, unable to afford the paychecks of journalists further out. Puppy Love was one of their best and liked their work ethic, deciding to stay with them and move to Ponyville.

They still managed to cover some major stories, some with exclusives thanks to Puppy, or ‘Pup’ as Dave called her. She soon became their sole employee, any other reporters being volunteers getting experience before going elsewhere. Most recently, the incidents with Nightmare Moon and Discord have given the paper a chance to shine again, said events focusing around the poor town. Heck, Pup had managed to interview the two villains, the former loving Dave stroking her ego (‘quite the gentle-…sprite’) and the latter loving Dave’s exaggerated randomness. The sprite had certainly been a big help.

Pup had by now covered the new Elements and at other points in time: the ‘Pinkie sense’, Celestia’s student, Carousel Boutique, the Best Young Flier, Sweet Apple Acres, and so on… even the Cutie Mark Crusaders. And now… well, nothing much was happening around Ponyville. The buzz from her interview with Discord was coming to an end. Pup and Dave were bored. That is until they heard the rumours.

“Rumors were abound about that strange and rare creatures have been showing up in the lands beyond Equestria, some even briefly passing through. A speechless Diamond Dog acting (for lack a better word) civilized and a Griffon working to bring back his kinds fallen empire are only two of their number. Some believe this is the residual effect of Discord’s Chaos, others the end of the world, and those that couldn’t care less as long as they keep out of Equestrian affairs; the ‘Stay off my Lawn’ approach as it’s called.

“The ace reporter and hyper obsessed Puppy Love, along with her spritely companion Dave, has decided to take matters into her own hooves, and find out just what it is that makes these creatures tick. Is she up for the job? Of course! Is she brave? Quite certainly! Is she mad? Most indubitably so! Is she plain stupid? The jury’s still out on that one, but I don’t care! This is gonna be fun on the bun!”

Pup giggled as she finished arranging the windowless room the pair was in. It containing everything she’d ever need on her outings: camping gear, supplies, disguises (courtesy of a certain party pony… and Rarity with some dresses), climbing equipment in the case of wing failure, and even some self-defense stuff like a baseball bat and so on.

“We all set?” Dave asked.

“Think so. List?”

“List.”

The list poofed into view in front of her, floating.

“We haven’t got that many here… It’ll have to do for now. Maybe the first ones we talk to can tell us about some others.” She turned from the list and trotted out the door. Dave dismissed the list and flew after her.

“Serif has us covered by some skinny colt with a camera. I think his name was Pushover… Easy Lift… somit like that. Apparently the guy’s been trying to help out since Cheerilee hasn’t got round to restarting the school paper.” Dave informed her, catching up and settling into her mane.

“She should hurry up with that.”

Pup locked the door, the key poofing away afterwards, and left the storage centre they were in. Outside the wind blew through her mane, Dave tested its direction and strength.

“’Bout 5 knots Westerly, I’d say.”

“Right.” Pup confirmed, beginning to sense the pull of her heart. A pair of goggles appeared over her face, as well as a pair for Dave.

“Wait!” Came a familiar voice.

All of a sudden, Pinkie Pie crashed into the ground. She bounced up from her crumpled heap and held out a paper bag.

“My Pinkie senses said you were having setting off on a big adventure but I was with the others on our own adventure so I used my party cannon to get here super-duper quick and give you these as a farewell gift. Well, more like a ‘see you soon gift’. They’re your favourite: PB and J muffins.”

“Yuck!” Pup’s mane exclaimed.

“And mini Vanilla and Midge ones for Dave!” Pinkie pulled out a smaller bag, which disappeared soon after.

“Ugh, midges.” Was Pup’s response.

“Anyway! I have to get back to my other friends. GOOD LUCK!” Pinkie shouted as she climbed into another cannon (that she pulled out from nowhere) and blasted off.

Several ponies had stopped what they were doing to watch that brief scene. Their heads followed Pinkie’s flight path over the horizon, then went back to their daily businesses.

“I still think she uses the same magic as me,” said Dave.

“It doesn’t really matter as long as she doesn’t go tearing any holes in the fabric of reality.” She took out a muffin for herself then held the bag up. Dave sent it to the storage room.

“You say that every time.”

Pup sent her senses inside to her heart, detecting the direction of the pull; a similar direction to Pinkie trajectory.

“But it’s still true.”

She prepared for take-off, spreading all six of her limbs.

“Tell that to Little Miss Sparkle.”

Pup smirked. Then they were gone, a dust cloud of similar shape and size left in their wake. The odd onlooker or two witnessed the departure, recalling the time when Pup had pestered Rainbow Dash too much. RD had attempted to flee, only to have Pup almost catch up. The almost comes from the fact that RD was forced to Sonic Rainboom to escape.

*****

T/N: Alrighty everyone! This is where the story changes! From here, I'll moving on with the actual interviews, and going in the direction that the original author, Suke, intended. Hopefully, I can make this story live up to those expectations.

#1 - Jazz the Cat

#1 - Jazz the Cat


Puppy Love had trekked across the vast expanse of Equestria multiple times in the past. No matter where she went, she always knew where her target was, and could track it down with the fine precision of a hawk.

And she was lost.

“...Dave?” she finally asked after circling the same expanse of forest for an hour.

“Yeeeessss?” the sprite asked from his traditional perch, a fluffed up bit of her mane.

“I’ve never failed to find my target...so...”

“You’re lost, aren’t you?”

“...Maaayyybeee.”

Dave sighed, and kicked away his miniature tanning mirror, deciding he could deal with that later. “Alright, so you’re saying this gu-” he paused suddenly, and scratched his head thoughtfully. “Actually, who ARE we tracking down?”

The journalist rifled around her saddlebags, before coming up with a list of names. “Well, according to those ponies we interviewed-”

“Interrogated,” Dave coughed.

“INTERVIEWED. There’ve been sightings of a strange cat in the woods near Baltimare.”

“What was so strange about it?” he asked, curious.

“It wore a bowler hat, a suit, and was surrounded by animals,” she deadpanned.

The cricket rolled his eyes, and said, “Alright, alright. So, have you thought about checking the ground?”

“...” Puppy face-hooved herself, and altered her course.

OIOIOIOIOIOIO

As the two friends started to search the forest floor, Dave noticed something odd about one of the trees. It was small, fairly subtle, and perfectly unnoticeable in most circumstances.

“Hey, Pup? Do you see that giant neon-sign that says, ‘Pull the lever’ too?”

The pegasus glanced at where Dave pointed, and cringed visibly. “Yes, yes I do.”

Indeed, there were two levers underneath said sign. One had a blue handle, while the other had a red one.

“So...should we...?” Puppy trailed off, and rolled her hoof at the levers.

“Yeah.” Dave cleared his throat, as he dramatically pointed at the tree, and shouted, “PULL THE LEVER, PUP!”

Puppy placed a hoof on the red one, and pulled...opening a trap door, and causing her to plummet into a pond filled with alligators. Quickly, she flared her wings open, and dashed away, desperately clinging to the ground when she reached it.

“WRONG. LEVER!” Dave shouted, clutching Pup’s mane for dear life.

Trembling, Pup decided to not listen to the nagging voice inside of her head that was cussing so violently that it would make a Royal Guard member blush, and she pulled the blue lever this time.

Without warning, the ground once more shifted wildly, this time flipping her inside of the tree, causing her to land in a cat-shaped...well, carriage was the closest word she had for it. The odd thing about it was that it was hooked up to a set of narrow train tracks, and had an open top.

A silver bar closed down on her, firmly securing the Pegasus to the carriage, as a voice said, “Please keep all form of appendages inside the carriage at all times, except when you reach a hill or sharp turn. Then feel free to flail about like a maniac.”

“Wait, wha-AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!”

The cart shot forward with the speed of a bullet, forcing her to the back of her seat. While she did her best to not hurl, Dave waved his arms around, and shouted, “Puppy, it’s more fun when you put your ha-, erm, hooves in the air!”

When the machine reached a sharp turn, it took Puppy’s entire willpower to not scream in fear, as the speed nearly threw them off the track entirely. Just when she thought she was going to hurl, the cart slowed down, and entered a brightly colored room filled with stuffed animals and flowers.

“...” was the only response that the two friends could think of...until the animals started bobbing up and down to a sickeningly cheerful tune.

“It’s a small world after all! It’s a small world after all!”

Dave plugged up his ears, and shouted, “GAH! NO! MAKE IT STOP, MAKE IT STOP!”

Mercifully, the cart reached the end of the room, and once more lurched forward in a manic burst of speed. After another series of death defying turns, the cart crashed into a beam of some sort, and launched the two out of the ride. When they landed, they were a bit surprised to see that they had been fitted with dark blue suits that fit them to a tee.

“...I think I forgive whoever made that Celestia-Forsaken ride now,” Pup commented, eying the suit appreciatively.

A sudden growl sounded out from the area around them, catching the two off guard. When they looked up, they were more than shocked to see that they had been surrounded by a variety of knife wielding...mice?

One of them a brown mouse with goggles, a bandanna and a blue jacket, stepped forward, a dark glare on his face.

“Da boss was expectin’ youse two,” he stated, gesturing to an open door.

Puppy, on the other hoof, had an entirely different reaction.

“D’aaaawww! The little mousie is wearing pony clothes! He’s sooooo cuuuuute!”

The mouse looked aghast at this sudden outburst, and opened his mouth to let loose with a fiery storm of raging insults, but was scooped up by Puppy before he could do so.

“Awww, and you’ve even got a wittle jacket!”

“H-h-hey! Cut it out!” the mouse protested, feeling his ribs nearly get cracked under the pressure being put upon them by the Pegasus’ hug.

“Rocko!” a voice called out from the open door. “Don’t be rude. Let our guests in...I’m sure the Pegasus would like her interview, wouldn’t she?”

As if those were the magic words, Pup tossed the mouse casually over her shoulders, and dashed off, eager to finally get a story. Dave mentally sighed, and facepalmed the antics of his easily distracted friend.

OIOIOIOIOIOIO

The room they had been lead to was enormous. Towering bookshelves lined the walls, while the floor was covered in a deep red carpet. A portrait of a black cat sat on the wall opposite of them, with a dark colored wooden desk set in front of it. Mountains of paper had been set on said desk, threatening to break it with its sheer weight.

A leather chair currently had its back to them.

“So, what do you think of my desk?” a voice asked from the chair. “It’s made of the finest mahogany.”

“...Erm...it’s very nice?”

“Maaahogany,” the voice sounded out, caressing the word as he would a lover. “Mahhhooooogany. MaaHHHoooGGGAAAnnnyyyyy.”

“...What?”

“Mahogany.”

Dave nodded sagely, and said, “It’s a fine material.”

“Indeed,” the voice replied. “Now, I have it on good material that...” The chair suddenly flipped around, revealing a black cat clad in what was arguably the most sophisticated suit in all of Equestria, with a dapper bowler hat placed on his head. “You wished to speak with me?”

Puppy cleared her throat, and mentally reviewed her speech that she had prepared. She knew that if she were going to make a case, she needed to have a valid reason to get them to answer her questions.

“Sir, my name is Puppy Love. I’m a journalist working for the Ponyville Inquirer, and I was hoping that I could interview you fo-”

“If it’ll get me away from this paperwork, I’ll answer anything you ask me!” The cat cried out, sweeping aside the paper and shoveling it onto the floor.

“...Well, that was easy,” Dave dryly commented.

The Pegasus smiled happily, while the sprite pulled out a sheet of paper so he could record everything said.

“Alright, let’s get this started...”

INTERVIEW

“So, let’s ask the obvious question first. What is your name?”

“My name is Jazz ‘The cat’ Di Vongola.”

“Alright...and what, exactly, are you? I don’t mean to be rude, but...cats normally don’t talk.”

“Ah, ‘what’ am I? What are we? Who are we and what are we doing here? A deep question indeed!”

“...No, I meant, what is your species?”

“I’m a cat.... Duh!”

“...Okay, we’ll come back to that later. Lately, there have been many rumors circulating Equestria about aliens from another universe that have been invading our world. Do you happen to know anything about that?”

“OK, you got me. I’m a cat from outer space. I have come to take your earthly resources and impregnate your women!... But in all seriousness, yes I’m one of those aliens.”

“...So, they’re actually true? You really are an alien? But how did you get here?”

“Well, mah buddy Keith and I... I’m sorry that was in bad taste and you wouldn’t get the joke anyways. I got contacted by a god and was sent to Equestria as his champion for some game or whatever. Still haven’t figured out what that is about, but for now, I don’t really care.”

“...A god? Which one? And is he the reason why you can talk?”

“Well, of course you wouldn’t know of him, but it was the Greek god of Dreams. His name is Morpheus. Great guy actually. And on the matter of talking, I suspect he has a finger in it, but I actually did some research on the matter! Apparently there’s 3 types of animals in Equestria: Alpha, Beta and Gamma. Gammas are the animals that are only able to talk with their own species. Betas can talk with all animals, including the Gammas of course. Those are by far the most normal ones. And then the rare Alphas. We’re able to talk with both Betas and all other living sentient beings. Kinda nifty. You’ve met Rocko, the mouse already, right? He’s an Alpha as well.”

“...That was certainly long-winded, but it does explain a lot. Now, is there anything else unusual that you, yourself, can do, being a chosen of a god, or anything like that? Or did you earn them through some form of adventure? I recall the ponies of Baltimare saying they had been through an extravagant amount of musical numbers. Is this your doing?

“You gotta love a good musical number once in a while, don’t ya? But yes, I do have a paw in those musicals. When Morph sent me here, he gave me the power of dreams, which is really just a fancy name for illusions. I can mess around with the five senses for all within a field. I just have to concentrate well enough on it... otherwise things get weird...”

“Because a talking cat isn’t weird enough already.”

“I do manage to make people turn a few heads now and then, yeah.”

“Hmm...alright, we’ve established who you are. Now, what are your plans for the future? And what of this...animal group, that seems to follow your every beck and call?”

“Saying that I order them around is a strong accusation. Really, they are more like a family to me, not just in the mafia-family way. While I do lead them, it is more a matter of organizing them. We’re trying to gather all the animal groups in Equestria, under a single banner. We call the group ‘The Big Cheese’. Eventually we hope to have a big enough network, so that we can gather information for the ones who are able to make bigger changes than we can ourselves.”

“An admirable goal. So, where are you going next?”

“For right now, we’re still trying to get the Baltimare-group going again. The last boss made a real mess of everything. Huge amount of monkey-business and whatnot. I had to hit him in the face with a trout while yelling “THIS. IS. EQUESTRIA!” to get him to stop. But after we get this done... or whenever I get through all of those freaking papers, we’re heading towards Ponyville to get our newest recruit.”

“Well, I hope they’ll be ready for you...okay, Dave won’t let it go if I don’t ask this, but...what’s with the suit?”

“Well, my own suit is one I got for the Grand Galloping Gala, but things... didn’t go too hot. I liked it so much that I kept it and wear it all the time. It’s as much ‘me’ as my bowler hat. And your own suits, well... You like it, don’t you Dave? Nothing suits you like a suit!”

“*Ahem*, Oh, geez, will you look at the time? Now, is there anything you’d like to say to the ponies who might be reading this paper?”

“Hmm... Lemme see. Yes, as a matter of fact there is. One of the reasons we’re even doing this whole network-thing, is to secure Equestria of course. Now, the reasons we want to do so is to protect the next generation. I want to make sure that the children can grow up with smiles on their faces, live a life without having to worry about being captured by slavers and really just help the world. That is my dream. My message to all is to try as much as you can to help us. Not directly, but please do what you can to protect the young ones.”

“...*Sniff*.”

Dave wiped away Puppy’s tear, while she thanked Jazz for the interview. “I hope everything works out for you, good sir.”

“Thank you... Ehm, need a tissue?”

“No, no, I’m fine,” Pup insisted. “Thank you for your time. Be on the lookout for this interview! It should make the first page by the time I’m done with it! Now then, I’ll get this home, and go...find...um...”

The sprite facepalmed once more. “You have no idea who to talk to next, do you?”

“I think I can help you with that.” Jazz got up from his chair and walked over to a stack of papers. He began tossing papers left and right, muttering to himself all the while. “HEY LILLY! HAVE YOU SEEN THE REPORT FROM ANGEL IN PONYVILLE?”

...What have I gotten myself into? Puppy wondered sarcastically.

A small mouse with big glasses came into the room, wearing an unamused look on her face. “Really? You lost another report?” She walked to the desk and grabbed a file, tossing it nonchalantly to Jazz. She began walking out again. “How is this organization still standing...?”

Jazz opened the file and began skimming it. “Ah there we are!” He turned to Puppy. “I have the PURRFECT person for you to talk to!”

“Wait!” Dave shouted. “Are we really going to end this on a pun?!

...Yes, yes we are.

T/N: Alright, so we'll be moving from character to character as time goes on. The authors of each story will be in charge of whether they want this to be canon or not.

And Jazz the Cat is from the story, "Dreaming of Paws".

#2 - Celt the Bugbear

#2 - Celt The Bugbear

        After a short stop back at Ponyville to safely store her notes from the previous interview, Puppy Love and her spritely companion started down on the trail of the next possible human. According to the plethora of information she had gotten from a combination of Jazz, former slaves, and some “connections” she had in the local gangs, there were some fantastic stories behind a strange and unheard of creature that had been sighted all over Equestria. All of her sources agreed that the most likely place to catch up to him...

        “Oh, come on!” Dave complained from his perch. “That’s the most hilarious name I’ve heard for the name of a port!”

        “Hush up, Dave,” the Pegasus chided, brushing her mane from her eyes. “It makes sense. I mean, it’s on the other side of the jungle, they’re surrounded by tall trees, it’s a port-”

        “LongWood Port!” Dave cackled mirthfully. “I love it!”

        Her patience wearing thin, Pup countered by saying, “You would, wouldn’t you?”

        Dave wasn’t dense enough to not notice the implied joke behind her words, and he harrumphed into a brooding silence, as they flew across the vast jungle.

OIOIOIOIOIOIOIO

        The village was an odd site to the land-savvy Pegasus.

        Several houses were composed of thick, sturdy logs, and had heavily thatched roofs, obviously prepared to deal with any kind of storm that the nearby sea would try to throw at them. Sturdy wooden planks made up all of the roads...and the entire settlement was raised at least ten feet into the air, supported on tall beams of wood.

        Pup was in awe of the wide diversity of creatures living in the small port-town. Sure, she saw a sparse amount of pegasi, unicorns, and earth ponies, but there were also zebras decorated in several gold rings, and cat-people with leather clothing. It was strange to the Pegasus. For the first time, she felt extremely small, like the world really WAS some huge, unknown place.

        The feeling was quickly forgotten when she felt the familiar tug in her gut that told her where her target was. Her inner journalist made itself known, as she quickly trotted into a nearby bar, where she could hear the faint sounds of...

        “GAAAH!” Pup screamed in surprise, as she saw a pony’s head explode out of the nearby wall.

The pony rolled its eyes in a daze, and slurred, “Thank you shir, may I have another?”

Dave let out a wide smile, and said, “I think we found our guy...and I think I’m gonna like him!”

        Pup gulped in worry, but stepped into the bar.

OIOIOIOIOIOIOIO

        “...How did he do that...to the entire bar?” Pup squeaked in awe, staring at the carnage that was formerly the bar.

        Tables had been smashed entirely to pieces, bottles had been smashed and completely drained. Ponies, zebras, and cat-people alike had been casually tossed around the room, some of them sticking out of the walls, others were draped over the counter and tables. The entire place reeked of alcohol, sweat, slightly overlapped by the unmistakable scent of vomit.

        Only four figures had been left standing in the wreckage. The barkeep, a changeling (this one gave Pup pause, but not enough to scare her off), an enormous wolf (Dave thought it was a giant puppy), and...well, she didn’t have a word for the last one.

        It was wearing a dark colored trenchcoat over a coat of light yellow fur, with dark sunglasses set over its eyes, and a triumphant smirk on its face. One arm looked...well, relatively normal for its body, with a sophisticated crossbow clutched tightly in his hand. The other was made of a strange metal, almost a combination between iron and steel. It wasn’t quite that, but it was the closest she could guess.

        “Well, don’t just stand there!” Dave hissed, nudging her head. “Go over there and talk to him! Gah! Is this gonna be like high school?”

        “We agreed to never mention those days again!” Puppy hissed back in reply.

        “...You know I can hear you, right?” the creature deadpanned, sitting back down in one of the few surviving chairs.

        Pup let out a nervous chuckle, before clearing her throat and settling back into her “Professional” mode. “Are you the one known as Celt?”

        He arched one of his eyebrows, “Depends who is asking.

        “Well, my name is Puppy Love. I’m a journalist for the Ponyville Inquirer, and I was hoping that I could interview you for our next issue,” Pup explained, “I’ve been investigating some reports on strange activity from ‘foreign’ creatures, and your name came up a few times.”

        “Well, I have a few moments before the ship leaves.” He pauses and looks around the bar, “And I don’t think any of these idiots would want to play with me anymore.”

        At this, Puppy got a familiar gleam in her eyes, as Dave pulled out his notepad to once more record everything that happened.

        “Okay! Let’s get started then!”

INTERVIEW

“So, first things first. Who are you? And not to sound mean, but...what are you?”

“If I considered that mean then I would not survived as long as I have. Anyway, you already know my name, but if you forgot within the 5 seconds of you saying it then, it’s Celt. And as for what I am, I am simply a bugbear.”

“A bugbear? I can’t say I’ve ever heard of one of those. Are you like the others, and...well, are you an alien too?”

“Yes, and I’ve come to sex up this planet’s women too!” He laughs.

“Sorry, heard that joke from a talking cat already. Nice try though, points for being adventurous.”

He stares down at Puppy, “I thought I was being original. Oh, well.”

“Well, that aside, were you sent here by a god as well? And did he give you any special powers, abilities, etcetera?”

“Oh, yeah totally. I was sent by Loki, god of tricksters! The cheapskate gave me a metal arm instead of a real one but if you want to know more about him, ask Fenrir here.” He points to the wolf, “Loki is his father.”

“I was actually about to ask...Why do you have said giant wolf, and...more importantly, is he hungry?”

“Oh, don’t worry about Fenrir, he only eats pegasi...oh wait.” He pauses and looks down at Puppy.

“...Erm...Why do you have him?” Puppy casually places herself closer to the nearest window.

Celt chuckles madly, “Oh, god you ponies are too easy to trick!” He quickly recovers from his laughing fit, “The reason I have him is because why the hell not?And also for the shits and giggles that usually comes from ponies reactions, isn’t that right Fenrir?”

“Indeed Celt.” The wolf boomed.

“Okay, you got me. Gotta give you that much. So, about your arm...well, what happened to it? If Loki gave it to you, does that mean you lost it before you came to our world?”

His smile faded from his face and was replaced by a saddened visage, “I lost it when a burning building fell on me.”

“I’m very sorry to hear that...I shouldn’t press you. Okay, next question...According to some of my sources, you blew up a Canterlot library, took down one of the worst criminal trios, and a plethora of other feats. Are those true?”

“Well, I haven’t heard a lot of those stories but yes most of them are probably true.” He relaxed slightly.

“Very impressive. May I ask why you did that to the library, though?”

“Do you want reality story where I am the villain or the fake story where I am the super villain?”

“Depends. Do you have a secret underground base in the fake story?”

“Might as well with how ponies blow everything out of proportions. In reality I was there to ‘borrow’ some books and I happened to trigger the alarm system that bursts into flames.” He chuckles a little, “Fun fact creating a flame in a room filled with dust from hundreds of years is not a good thing to do.”

“Well, I’m trying to fix that gossip we ponies tend to fall for nowadays. But that’s interesting...So, if all of those stories were true, then you DID help a group of ponies? Why did you do that?”

“Oh them? They just happened to be in the right place at a time when I was feeling helpful.”

“That’s certainly...blunt. Then again, you did just tear apart a bar within, what, five minutes?”

“4 minutes 34 seconds actually.” The changeling meeped.

“Wow. That’s pretty dead on. Say, why are you traveling with a changeling? Not to say they’re bad, but don’t most ponies fear them?”

“One, I don’t care less what ponies do and don’t fear. Second, I am traveling with Twitch because we made a deal.” He pushed the word Twitch hard.

“You’ve really been busy then. Alright, so, last questions: What are your plans for the future, and do you have anything you’d like to say to the readers at home?”

He looked down at his arm, “ I plan to get my arm back and as for the readers at home, for god’s sake get off your ass and do something about all the threats literally scrolling through your country like they owned it! I had to fight diamond dogs, a psychopathic griffin and fucking godlike being!”

“...That coming from an adventurer of your calibur, means something.”

Puppy extended her hoof towards the bugbear, and said, “Well thank you for your time. You really are more impressive than the rumors said you were.”

He accepts the handshake, “My pleasure we’ll do it again sometime eh?” A ringing of bells is heard off in the distance, “Well I really must be going.”

“Alrighty!” Pup smiled. “It was nice meeting you. Good luck on your travels!”

He chuckles, “Luck is for the weak!” He takes a swig of alcohol, “Vodka and rum are for the strong!”

T/N: Celt is from Troutking's story, "What Was Lost".

#3 - Ivan the Zebra

#3 - Ivan the Zebra

        “You sure we’re in the right place?” Dave asked Pup as his pulled the brim of her new fishing cap down lower in a feeble attempt at blocking out the rain. “This place doesn’t seem right. You’d have to be crazy to even come here!”

        Indeed, the sprite had made a fair point. The entire town, if it could even be called that, was...well, filthy. There was no other word for it. Dirt, mud, and other unidentifiable gunks were splattered all over the roads, filling the air with a foul scent that made Puppy’s eyes water constantly. Every griffon, and pony alike were either bloodstained, or just stained entirely, not a clean body in sight. Their eyes glinted with the cold glare of steel, sending chills down her spine every time one of them glanced in her direction. Faintly, she could hear beggars on the sides of the hotels clamoring for spare bits, or even something as trivial as a spoon.

        “Cabbages! Please! Just one! All of my others were destroyed!” one of them cried out, clinging at Pup’s tail.

        Confused, she flared her wings in a panic, and took to the skies. The sooner she could get out of this town, the better.

        “What’s this town called, again?”

        “Oblivion, I think,” Puppy replied as she steered herself towards the ports, where the ships and airships alike would be. From what she had researched, her next target should be somewhere around here.

        And by “research” she meant “posing as a Sailor/Fisher to ask what the old grizzled ponies and griffons had seen”. It was crude, but effective.

        “Wow, look at that one on the end,” Dave said, crinkling his nose. “Seriously, have you seen a worse hunk of junk in your entire life?”

        He made a fair point. One of the airships barely looked fit to be in the air. It looked like a five-year old had taken a steel bucket, poked holes in it, and then used a combination of rope and duct tape to attach it to a balloon with more patches in it than Puppy could count. Really, this ship was surviving on little more than a wing and a prayer. And said prayer was being said by a drunken pony in an outhouse, out in the back of the country.

        To put it nicely, it seemed to match the town it was in.

        “...Dave? I’ve got the feeling that’s where our next person is,” Puppy grimly said, pulling her raincoat closer around her.

        “...Greeeaaaaat. Can we go interview the cat again after this? I wanna ride the roller coaster!”

        “No.”

        “Awwww...”

OIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIO

        They were right underneath the ship now.

        “So...how do we tell them we want to talk?” the sprite mused, scratching his imaginary handlebar mustache that would surely drive all the ladies crazy with lust if it were real.

        “...Um...Erm...I think we...” Puppy was at a loss too.

        

        A griffon, somehow almost as scarred and beaten as the airship above descended from the deck, a few metal bits and pieces of her glinting in the sun. She landed right in front of the duo and gave them a predatory look. “What the hell do you two want?”

        Dave let out a high-pitched scream that would have given Ponyville’s resident fashionista a run for her money, while Puppy simply jumped a little in surprise.

        Quickly recovering her wits, Pup cleared her throat, and said in a professional manner, “Hello, ma’am. My name is Puppy Love, and I’m a journalist for the Ponyville Inquirer. I was wondering if you could tell me where I might find...” she paused to consult her mental notes, “A zebra named Ivan?”

        She smiled grimly, licking her beak. A spot of blood may have been present on her feathers. “So... What do you two have to offer? I’m thinking that I could just kill you, sell that hat, see what I could get out of your hides...” She paused, frowning. “Seriously, you came to this shit hole for an interview?”

        The pegasus nodded, and added, “Trust me, I don’t wanna be here any longer than I have to be. It’s just that Ivan’s one of those topics that people really want to talk about, and I just want them to know the truth behind it all.”

        She blinked once, then again. “So... An interview consists of what?” She asked, looking over the both of them.

        “Just a few questions,” Puppy replied. “We’ll ask him about his accomplishments, his backstory, just the generic interview you’d see in any newspaper.”

        She rolled her eyes. “Damn it, I was hoping you’d be one of those villain types so I could pretend I actually did something vaguely interesting after I killed you.” She sighed and flew up into the air, kicking a ragged ladder off the side of the ship. “Come aboard.”

        “This is a bad idea!” Dave hissed from underneath Puppy’s hat.

        “Shush! We’re not gonna get anything if we just stand here!” she hissed back, before following the griffon into the ship.

OIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIO

The inside of the ship...well, it wasn’t AS bad as the outside. It actually could probably serve for a casual vessel. At the very least, it was a vast improvement from what Puppy had come to expect. Maybe with a bit of professional repairs...

        Pup shook her head, and focused instead on the task at hoof. There, sitting at what could only be the captain’s chair, was a heavily scarred and bandaged Zebra. His mane was extremely unkempt, while his coat was still lightly stained with dried blood. The bandages were now a light brown with the dirt they had accumulated, with splotches of blood covering them. What really attracted Pup’s attention, however, were the zebra’s eyes. They were filled with a strange mixture of insanity and pain. He smirked with a too wide smile, looking over them with a look that could be described as friendliness mixed with murder.

        “Who are you?” He asked.

        Puppy introduced herself once more as a journalist, and asked him, “Would you mind answering a few questions for us, for our next interview?”

        He nodded, then made a motion with his hoof. “Drop the wrench Cata, we aren’t killing these two.” Almost sheepishly, the griffon who had followed them placed the wrench on the ground.

        “Dave, put down the pepper spray.”

        Sheepishly, the sprite lowered a comically large can of the stinging substance, and stashed it in his hammerspace. He pulled out his notepad, and once more (this is going to be a recurring line, isn’t it?) prepared to record the interview.

        “Shall we start then?” Pup asked.

        His smile dropped. “Of course.”

INTERVIEW


“So, what’s your name?”

        “The name is Ivan. Ivan Marks. Some call me the blood zebra. Some call me that one guy. Some call me insane.”

        “Do you have a prefered name?”

        “Ivan.”

        “Okay then. I suspect I know the answer, but are you also an alien from another world? And if you are, how did you get here?”

        He slammed a hoof on the desk and his eyes glowed faintly, the door locking behind them. “Yes. I was sent here by an authority figure under the guise of...” He paused, blinking. “Getting away, I guess.”

        “Really? Who was that ‘authority figure’? Did he give you any special powers, like the others?”

        “He gave me the ability to eat souls, be a host to souls, and get laughed at. Besides that, and apparently zebras can learn how to do that anyway, not really.”

        “...Your god hates you, doesn’t he?”

        “It’s more like he delights in watching me overcome obstacles, regardless of whether or not I need to. Makes me a little suspicious of things that come too easily.” He said, nodding at them. “Like this interview.”

        “I have a feeling that no matter what I say, you’ll still think I’m some kinda government agent, won’t you?”

        “Oh please, if I was that paranoid I would’ve had you killed by now. It really isn’t that hard to hide a body when you live next to the ocean. Catastrophe, an excellent judge of character, could’ve stabbed you in the back before you noticed, not to mention Canary and Boss.”

        “That’s...impressive, I guess. How did you meet your crew, by the way? Catastrophe seems extremely protective of you, from what I’ve gathered.”

        He smiled lightly and nodded his head. “I met Canary and Boss, on the island of Rej. It’s out in the zebra islands, if you were wondering. Nice place when I’m not there, or so I’ve been told. I met Canary when I first arrived, lost in a new body, thrown into slavery. He taught me a little magic and I repaid it by freeing him from slavery. I met Boss when she threw me into slavery.”

        “Well, that seems like a great way to meet a companion. How about Catastrophe?”

        “I met her when she greeted us to the city of Oblivion. I had a bit of a crush on her. Long story short, she absolutely hated me and liked it when I bled. I ended up saving her when the city got attacked by an eldritch horror blob thingy shoggoth whats-it. She decided to tag along to see what other interesting things I could get into.” He tapped a hoof against the floor, a loud echo issuing forth.

        “I take it you’ve gotten into a lot of those situations. I overheard some of the townsfolk talking about how you took out an alpha. How did you pull that off?”

        He looked sheepish. “He was some sort of honor nut. I just tricked him a little and cut off his head when he bowed it to me in defeat.” He looked around. “I don’t think I have the skull with me...”

        “...Erm, skull? Wait, never mind. What about this ship? How did you get it? And do you plan on...erm, replacing it?”

        He blinked. “What’s wrong with my ship?” He asked, standing up from the chair.

        “...Hypothetically speaking, if I said it was a rust bucket held together by nothing but duct tape and hope, how would you respond?”

        “I’d probably sacrifice you to appease the gods of fate or something equally archaic. Any particular urge to test that hypothesis?” He smiled lightly.

        “No, no, I’m good! So, how did you get it then?”

        “I accidentally possessed a dragon and commanded it to eat the crew, then took possession of it.”

        “Well, it beats shelling out bits for it...So, are you and Catastrophe an item? You mentioned you had a crush on her, and she seems very protective of you.”

        He blushed slightly, through the fur. “Yeah... We are kinda... together. I guess? I mean... she still likes it when I bleed, but she’s protective and stuff and...” He looked down, then back up. “Er...  This isn’t going in the paper, right?”

        “I can edit it out if you’d really like.”

        He shrugged, then touched the feather again, unlocking the door. Catastrophe strolled in easily, looking over at the both of them.

        “I never asked.”

        He looked blank. “About what?” Catastrophe smirked, looking rather pleased with herself.

        “Uh...nothing, nothing. How did you guys get so good at intimidation?”

        “Catastrophe is a natural at it, and I picked up a few things about how to be scary. Turns out most of this blood is...” He stopped, looking at Catastrophe. “Never mind, That is so not going in the doc.”

        “We’ll just call it natural instinct, then. Alright, so. What are your plans for the future?”

        The griffon spoke, making Ivan cringe. “I plan on staying with him until he dies, and probably afterwards.”

        “I plan on finding a way to punch fate in the face while screaming various insults, and also finding a place to hide on.”

        “Good plan, I guess. Anything you’d like to say to the readers at home?”

        “I hate you all and I want you to die.” Ivan muttered, looking away. “Uh... I like griffons? Griffons are awesome?”

        “Griffons are definitely cool.”

“That was certainly an interesting experience,” Pup admitted, extending her hoof towards Ivan. “Thank you for your time. I’ll be sure to edit out the parts we discussed, on fear of Catastrophe.”

He nodded. “Please, feel free to visit from time to time.”

Catastrophe glared at him then turned her glare to the duo. “That means run away screaming.”

        “Can I flail my arms while I do so?” Dave asked.

        “If you want.”

OIOIOIOIOIOIOIO

        The citizens of Oblivion were then treated to what would soon become a common sight: two figures screaming for their lives as they flew away from the decrepit ship at the end of the yard, while flailing their limbs wildly in the air. Anyone looking at them would say that they had seen the devil stepping out of the shower.

        “RUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNN!”

Ivan is from 7-4's story, "A Broken Peace"

#4 - Knightmare the Changeling

#4 - Knightmare The Changeling


“...Do you hear that music, Dave?” Pup asked as they came upon the sight of what was generally known as “The Great Battlefield”. The entire field was normally the taboo of the ponies of Equestria, as it was said that no one could even begin to traverse the nearly inhospitable landscape without dying a horrible death. It was normally a desolate, and lonesome place...

So why were there Ponies with massive weapons, and changelings with tools clamped in their jaws, all working on what looked like a metallic sailing ship? It baffled Puppy and Dave, even more so when they saw the familiar sun banner of Equestria fluttering on top of it. The ship was sleek, deadly even. Black as pitch, with gold trimming spotted here and there, quickly being restored by the team of changelings hard at work on it. Massive propellers jutted out of the top of it, covered in rust and with the obvious signs of wear all about it.

“Seriously...that music...” Puppy muttered.

Suddenly, a dreadfully familiar figure that Pup had heard all about, thanks to the newspapers, flew right in front of her, a bizarre smile on her face. “Are you the interview gal?” Chrysalis asked. When Pup managed a dull nod, her smile grew even wider, as she gestured to the ship, and said, “Follow me, then!”

Confused, but feeling that ever-present tug in her gut, Puppy somewhat reluctantly followed her, while Dave cowered underneath her mane. As they flew closer to it, Pup spotted what could only be her target: a strange, bipedal changeling, waving its arms at the others. From what she saw, the stranger-

“Can I call him a strangeling?”

“Dave, not now!”

The strangeling seemed to be the one in charge of the entire operation, commanding the others with a cool confidence. It glimpsed the pair of them flying towards them, and a swarthy (Pup had no idea why she chose that word) grin appeared on its face.

“HELLO UP THAR!” he bellowed in an unfamiliar accent. “Care to come and join us, before those old mechs blast ye outta the sky?”

“Ah!” Dave yelped at the sight of said “mechs” aiming massive guns at them.

“Aye! Erm, I mean, yes please!” Pup said, flapping her wings a bit faster.

The strangeling looked about at his “crew”, and shouted, “Well? Land, damn it!” When none of the bodies moved, he bellowed in a louder voice, “OI! MAKE SOME BLOODY ROOM!”

An earthy-grey pony added her voice to the shout. “THE CAPTAIN SAID MOVE, SO MOVE!”

“MOVE YOUR BLOODY ASSES!” Chrysalis shouted as well.

“WHY ARE WE YELLING?!” a white unicorn with a neon-blue mane yelled in confusion.

“BECAUSE NO ONE KNOWS WHAT THE WORD ‘MOVE’ MEANS NOW!” A pink alicorn happily shouted.

“CAN I YELL TOO?” Dave asked.

“NO!” Puppy yelled, her eye twitching just a little bit.

As they touched down, another white unicorn, this one with an ocean blue mane, shook his head, and said in an apologetic tone, “You’ll have to forgive us, ma’am. We’re a little brain-dead at the moment.”

A black alicorn snorted from besides him, her draconic, turquoise colored eyes alight with amusement. Tossing her light-blue starry mane over her head, she asked, “Isn’t that us all the time?”

Pup was extremely confused now. She frantically pointed to the entire crew, stuttering, "...But...what...Nightmare...Chrysalis...Pirates...Cadence...WHAT?!"

Dave nodded solemnly, and said, “T’is a sad day indeed, when Puppy Love is finally bamboozled by something.”

“That's nothing,” the black alicorn laughed. “Watch THIS!”

With that, her starry mane wrapped itself around her body, quickly transforming her into...well, words can’t do it much justice, especially as Pup was too confused to form any good words.

“Knightmare taught me that trick!” she giggled.

The sprite peeked out from his hiding spot, and felt his jaw drop at the form standing in front of them. “Totally...worth...everything...” he stated.

Chuckling lightly, the strangeling walked up to the humanoid (Pup thought that was what they were called), and teasingly poked her...well endowed chest. “Complain all you like,” he said, “I still like it!”

He gave Chrysalis a grin, causing her to blush, and grumble angrily, before walking off. Still chuckling, he extended a hand towards Pup.

“The name’s Knightmare. Pleased to meet you.”

She took his hand in her hoof, and replied, “I’m Puppy Love, journalist. I take it you were expecting us?”

“Yes, as a matter of fact, I was,” Knightmare said, smiling all the while. He tapped the side of his head, and added, “I guess you could say I'm 'connected' to several of the Chess Pieces.  Including one 'Ivan the Zebra', as much as it annoys him."

“Well, that’s a welcome surprise,” Puppy sighed, glad she didn’t have to explain why she was there. “Mind if I ask what all of...” she gestured to the enormous airship behind them. “...This is?”

“This?  This is our airship, the RLS Ragnarok!  Built 'er up out of old scraps from this overglorified junkyard.”

“That’s...that’s impressive.”

“Maybe,” he said in an offhanded tone. “But when you learn to be a scavenger, then it makes building contraptions like this much easier.”

“I would say so,” the Pegasus agreed. “I'd ask more questions, but I think I should save those for the actual interview, hm?”

“Aye,” Knightmare nodded. “So, shall we get this bird offa the ground and do the interview high in the skies?”

This surprised Puppy. “It can actually fly now? But it looks like...” She then turned to see that the changeling and pony team had just finished, proud grins on their faces. “...They work fast,” she commented dryly.

“Damn straight!” the changeling leader laughed.

“We can show you a thing or two about teamwork!” Chrysalis added.

The journalist couldn’t help but laugh with the other two, caught up in their mirth. “In that case, lead the way,” she giggled.

Knightmare grinned in excitement, and led them onto the deck of the ship. “Hold onto your butts!” He turned, and shouted over his shoulder, “OCTAVIA!  Man the wheel!”

The earth pony musician slipped a plumed tricorne hat onto her head, and grasped the wheel.

“LYRA! Start the engines!”

A green unicorn with a golden harp for a cutie-mark grabbed a lever, and pulled, an earth rumbling roar echoing throughout the area. Idly, Puppy noticed that she had some form of golden gauntlets wrapped around her forehooves.

“CHRYSALIS! Take to the skies!”

“What?! Why?” the changeling queen asked in an almost whiny tone.

“...This is a LIGHT destroyer,” the captain pointed out. “We can’t take off with FIVE HUNDRED CHANGELINGS crowded onto every deck!”

The queen sighed, and mumbled in a quiet voice, “Damn you, and your damn logic...” Still, she did as she was told, and flew into the sky, quickly accompanied by the dull buzzing roar of her subjects.

As the ship flew into the skies, finally taking its maiden voyage, Puppy’s eyes widened in amazement. Here she was, witnessing history in the making; a relic of the past being brought back to life, and she got to experience it. Most ponies would be humbled by such an experience, but the intrepid journalist...well, she just felt all tingly inside.

“Wow!” she said, looking over the side of the ship. “You really weren’t kidding, were you?”

“I may be silly, prone to bouts of insanity, and a lover of pranks, but I do NOT kid around...” Knightmare said, before sheepishly grinning at the sound of hooves rushing on the deck. “Except when the kids are around.”

As if those were the magic words, a trio of fillies suddenly appeared, each one leaping onto another crew member, and letting out an ear-piercing cry of, “THE NIGHTMARE CRUSADERS HAVE ARRIVED!”

“So...um...should we just...start the interview now?” Puppy asked awkwardly.

“ Yeah, that sounds like a plan,” he lightly chuckled. “Calm down, girls, you'll hurt someone!” he said to the children. Said children simply started moving around the crew members, while Knightmare led the journalist and sprite to the edge of the ship. “So, what’s first on the agenda?”

Discreetly, the other crew members took their places behind their captain, the fillies still clinging to random crew members. Chrysalis was the only one standing, until Knight pulled down on her tail, and growled, “Sit.”

The queen huffily sat down, not noticing the jester’s cap that he placed on her head.

Dave pulled out his notepad.

INTERVIEW

"So, Knightmare...what is your full name? And are you an alien, just like the others I've met?"

“Officially?  HRM {His Royal Majesty} High-General Knightmare Demonbane, Prince of Equestria and Knight of the Realm....Some funky-ass law about 'anyone who beds the Princesses willingly is considered a prince' thing....I don't understand it either.  But I prefer if you just call me Knightmare, or 'Knight'.  As for if I'm an alien?  Well, I'd use the 'take me to your leader' line, but me and Celestia have met...many times..."

Chrysalis: “Including in bed...”

Nyx: “Twice.”

Shining Armor: “Suffice to say, he's not a virgin anymore...”

"...Erm...you and the Princess are an item, then?"

"That....you'll have to ask her about.  Me and her...y'know...well, we were kinda drunk....I blame Chrysalis.”

Chrysalis: "WHAT!?"

"OI!  You were the one that convinced a pair of drunks to do the dirty deed in Twilight's bed!  AND YOU JOINED US!"

Chrysalis: "...True."

“ANYWAYS!” Pup coughed. “I take it that means that Celestia is the one who summoned you? Why did she?”

“Dunno.  Maybe she thinks I'm cute?  I just know she needed someone with, and I quote, 'a kind soul, an iron will, and really, REALLY, hard to kill.'  All in all, I fit the bill best.”

“Well, that certainly makes sense...I guess. Does that mean you’ve got strange powers too? What do they do?”

“Standard changeling skillz, some advanced musical magic, and some 'special abilities' granted by Celestia herself.”

“Really? How do they work?”

“So long as the sun shines, three specific forms of mine that no other changeling can do, have powers beyond belief.  One has such brute strength, that a full grown dragon would be hard pressed to overpower me. Another has the might of the sun itself behind its magical abilities, and the last is so blindingly fast ,that I honestly doubt Rainbow Dash could keep up.”

"Wow. That's incredible. Mind if I ask why you do so many musical numbers?"

"Would you believe that, due to some modification Celestia made to me during the whole 'drag to Equestria' thingy, I'm literally incapable of NOT bursting into song when I get inspired?  Plus, for some reason, The Will of Equis, AKA Miss Lauren Faust herself, apparently loves spontaneous choreography.  Hence the ludicrous number of musical numbers.  They happen like...five or six per day.  More if there's a scheduled concert or a major party."

“Speaking of concerts, I heard that you were at the Grand Galloping Gala, last time they held it. How did that go?”

“You know the GGG is cursed?  Literally, every time it's held, it falls apart.  THIS time it fell apart in such a way that everyone was happy...it was friggin' AWESOME!"

"I suppose that’s a good thing, then. So, why are you here?"

"If by 'here', you mean The Great Battlefield, we're pretty much gearing up for some major hell coming Equestria's way.  I've got reliable sources telling me the shit's gonna hit the fan in the near future."

“Speaking of ‘we’, what about your crew? How did you get them to come here with you?”

"Most of them it was just dumb luck.  Octavia agreed to join in hopes that hanging out with a lunatic like me will help her get over her PTSD, Vinyl's protective of Octavia, Cadence wants to help the Changelings, Shining Armor doesn't trust me alone with his wife, Nyx is technically trapped in my guitar, and Chrysalis is adamant that she's my PROPER queen and won't leave me alone, and the Cutie Mark Crusaders-"

"NIGHTMARE CRUSADERS!"

"Err...yeah, Nightmare Crusaders want to be heroes and, well...they hid among the luggage up until we reached Dredgemane. By then, we didn't have the time or resources to make it back to Ponyville to get them home...so their families are trusting me to keep 'em safe."

“Wow. That’s a very large responsibility. But, I’m sure you can take care of them. So, why exactly are you doing all of this?"

"Necessity.  The Changeling Wasteland was once known as 'Dream Valley', the former home of the three pony tribes, living in harmony with the Flutterponies and Seaponies.  Now?  After the fall of Tirek, and Discord's insanity, Dream Valley is a wasteland. The Flutterponies have been cruelly mutated into what are now known as 'Changelings', the Seaponies have turned isolationist, and there are no ponies in Dream Valley to make it beautiful....so we're doing it ourselves.  As well as preparing for the mysterious 'EndGame' to save all of Equestria, hence working on recovering the magitek weapons and armor here at the Great Battlefield.  It's a lot of work, but it'll be worth it in the end."

“I can tell. All of the other Pieces seem to be preparing for something large as well...Hm, what are your plans for the future?"

"IF we survive 'The EndGame', I plan on finishing up Dream Valley, maybe do another musical tour, and settle down somewhere nice and quiet.  Maybe build a treehouse or something."

"Anything you'd like to say to the readers at home?"

"As an old hero of my world once said....  Do the impossible, See the invisible!  ROW ROW, FIGHT THA POWAH!"

“Well, thank you for your time,” Pup said, shaking Knightmare’s hand once more. “I think this will make a very special edition of the Inquirer.”

“Sure!  Mind sticking around?” the changeling asked, giving her a mischievous look.  “We're about to head back to Canterlot, it's been a long while and...” Here, he paused, pressing a finger to the side of his head, and nodded grimly. “...Yes ma'am!  We'll be back as soon as possible!  Stick aboard anyway, miss Love.  MISS OCTAVIA!  MISS LYRA!  FULL SPEED AHEAD!!!!  SET COURSE FOR CANTERLOT CASTLE!”

“Wait, what?!” Puppy asked, once more feeling a wave of confusion pass over her.

“Princess' orders!”  Shining Armor barked out, falling into the more soldier-like persona that Equestria knew him for. “Something's going down in Canterlot and she's too panicked to give a lot of details, just to bring every able body to help evacuation!”

Before Puppy could ask for more details, Knightmare had rushed to the prow of the ship, a manic smile on his face, as he shouted out, “It's time to...HOWL INTO THE DANGER ZONE!”

At those words, the ship suddenly shot forward, rocketing across the wasteland, so fast that the mechs below couldn’t track it, and those that wasted munitions missed by miles.  As they blasted over Oasis, Octavia had to pull the airship higher, lest the intense speeds kick up a sandstorm.  Even now, trees and bushes down below were being whipped around by the sheer velocity of the deadly airship flying overhead.

Ripping across the landscape, a journey that would have taken months on foot, weeks by train, and days by a NORMAL airship was reduced to barely three hours!

OIOIOIOIOIOIOIO

On the bridge of the Flying Dutchman, Captain “Sparrow” Jack swept off her fancy leather tricorn in a silent salute as the reconstituted Warden vessel screamed past. She imagined she could feel the shockwave rock her back on her heels, despite the actual events taking place several hundred miles away, the image being streamed to the Dutchman’s monitors via a partially functioning mech in the Battlefield she’d resurrected for just that purpose. At her back, the survivors of the old warbird's original crew raised a raucous cheer, as their beloved ship made its presence known once more to the world it had died to protect so long ago.

“Hyu go gets ‘em, boyo!”

“Make hus proud, young ‘un! Der Varhawk’s have gots hyu back!”

“Show dat black schticky stuff who’s da boss!”

“Don’t get ketchup in der seats! It doesn’t come back out!”

Jack rolled her eyes and mentally whiplashed her jubilant crew, snapping them to rigid, if annoyed, attention.

“We can have time to celebrate later, idiots,” she commanded. “Get this tub of lard moving if you want to get there in time for the fun!”

“Aye, Herr Captain, ve go!” The monstrous soldiers roared back, sloping to their stations faster than a mortal eye could follow.

The Lord of Horror, Lady of Ill Tidings, and Harbinger of Shadow’s lips curled in a cold smile as the gargantuan engines thundered to life, raising the decrepit Apocalypse-class airship into the chilly northern air. Her fingers closing about the wheel, she murmured to herself, “Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum...”

As the sleek black airship rockets past the ancient dusty desert, Knightmare began howling in the wind, prompting the Changeling warriors to join, the sound a growing cacophony in the high skies, ripping past a smaller prop-driven airship, the Mikoyan. Likely startling those on board.

“LET IT BE KNOWN UNTO THE WORLD! THE RAGNAROK FLIES AGAIN!” Knightmare screamed, the intense sound carrying across the expanse of the Everfree as they passed over Trottingham, emulating the Royal Canterlot Voice quite nicely.  The jet-black light destroyer rocketed past a familiar, broken-down airship, before blasting through a floating island with a huge hole running through it, Octavia weaving through the hole in the island with almost shocking ease.

OIOIOIOIOIOIOIO

After passing the island, a familiar floating diamond appeared off the bow and a little to starboard. The Possibility, in all its opulent glory, hung in the sky, the banner of the New Dominion plastered on its side. As it was passed, the ragged captain flared both his wings, jumped to his hind legs, and removed his classic ‘Monkey D Luffy’ straw hat, only to place it over his heart. A chorus of roars, screeches, howls and whinnies poured forth, only to be lost a moment later to the wind.

“Godspeed, you damn pervert.”

OIOIOIOIOIOIO

From near the large hole in the floating isle, a zebra poked his head out. He was covered in equal parts blood and oil. He shot the Ragnarok a glare and sneezed. He lifted a gem from his pouch and appeared on the rag tag deck of The Scourge. "Damn it. He's going to get there first." He complained.

"And he flew through your Island, Ivan."

"It looked cool, I'll let him have that one."

OIOIOIOIOIOIO

Puppy felt her lunch rise up into her stomach, as the ship came towards Canterlot...

And there, right before her eyes, was something so horrible, that the word “nightmare” didn’t even begin to scrape the surface. It was terror incarnate, a pure monstrosity...

And for the first, and only, time in her life, Pup learned what true fear was that day.

Knightmare is from JJ Malcolm's story, "From Nobody to Knightmare"

#5 - Marty the...Stu...?

#5 - Marty The...Stu...?

Interview is non-canon to Marty’s story.

“Are you sure that he’s here?” Dave asked.

“I’m positive this time!” Puppy sighed, wearily trotting into the town.

“That’s what you said in Baltimare. And in Canterlot. And in Ponyville. And in the Everfree. And in Dredgemane. And in-”

“I get it!” the journalist snapped. “We’ve been running around on a wild goose chase, trying to find some stupid slippery snake person!”

“Nice use of alliteration.”

Dave flinched at the glare Pup shot at him. Perhaps it was time to stop antagonizing her with his incredible wit and charm.

“Sure there isn’t another word for ‘person’ that starts with an S though?”

There was an audible snapping sound as Puppy whirled around, and started to try and hit the poor, foolish sprite with her bags. The chase went on for a good two hours, with Dave finally being smacked fully in the face by an angry Pegasus’ wings.

They’re not as soft as everyone says they are. Dave learned that the hard way today.

OIOIOIOIOIOIO

That night, Puppy and Dave (wearing a miniature full-body cast) ended up returning to their hotel in the small town of Coltogne. It had been another day of failed searching, and it was starting to wear down on Puppy. She knew it wasn’t her senses failing her...it seemed more like their target was leaping all over Equestria! One moment, he’d be in Canterlot, and the next, he’d be in Wethoof! For the life of her, she just didn’t know HOW he was doing it!

Exhausted, the Pegasus laid her head down on her pillow, and instantly fell asleep.

OIOIOIOIOIOIO

Marty stands at his forge, when a pegasus trots up to it. “Hello there sir, My name is Puppy Love and I have a question for you. Is your name Marty Stu?”

Marty looks at her, and smiles. “No.”

Puppy looks incredibly defeated, like a whipped puppy or something.

Marty feels bad for the joke, but answers her all the same as she turns about. “My title on the other hand, is.”

Puppy turns about, a look of relief, anger, and maybe a couple other emotions playing across her face. “You *&@^!@# of a &!*$%@! snaking *@&!#$!& Celestia’s !!#$%!!. I’ve been looking for you for a month! I’ve traveled the length and breadth of Equestria. I’ve seen more towns this last month than I normally do in two years. How are you able to get around the planet so quickly? Oh... and would you give me an interview?”

Marty takes a look at her, notes the random cricket, then smiles at her outburst. “I’ll give you an interview, and I’ll throw in a little extra. How would you feel about seeing the world of dreams while awake?”

“Wait. What? How?” Puppy looks incredibly incredulous and interested.

“Trade secret. But would you want to? I’ll make sure that nothing bad happens to you, and that you don’t hurt anything.” Marty has a look of pure generosity on his face.

Puppy looks unsure, but decides to go with it. “S-s-s-sure.”

“Excellent.” Marty opens a rectangular doorway, and bows with his arm outstretched to the opening. “After you, mademoiselle.”

Puppy walks in, Marty slithers in after her. Shuts the door behind him.

Marty shows her the stars above, and the seapony lands right in front of them, before jumping into an ocean of soda. Deep parts of the jungle, and a high security vault of a bank.

As Puppy stared in amazement at everything below her, a giant marshmallow chair lifted her into the air.

“Shall we begin?” Marty asked.

INTERVIEW

“So, what are you, exactly?”

“Do you want the scary, accurate answer, or the not-so scary, semi-accurate answer?”

“Which would you be more comfortable with being in a newspaper?”

“Yeah, I’m a Yuan-Ti Halfblood.”

“...And that is...?”

“A creature from outside this reality that is more or less half human and half snake.”

“Ah, so you’re a human like the others. Were you sent here by a god as well? If so, which one, and did they give you any powers?”

“I was directed here by an ascendant, yes. They are named Oponn, and they added a bit more luck to my life. I have my own abilities, as well as the ones native to this body. Don’t ask about them, the former would take all night to explain, and the latter I could not with good conscience tell you.”

“It sounds as if you’ve been through the ringer. I suppose that asking about your past is off limits?”

“Only some of it, and what I would be willing to tell you could take a great deal of time to tell you. Suffice to say, I’m quite old, despite the brown in my hair.”

“You definitely could have fooled me. Anyways, how did you get to be like that? None of the other humans seemed to be...well, like that.”

“Are you talking about my age or my body?”

“More age. I’m sure that not every pony wants to know about what kind of skincare products you use.”

“The short of it is, I found a djinn, made a few wishes, and made an explosion. Which, allowed me to become stupid old.”

“What is it with you humans and explosions?”

“Depending on the type, they’re a lot of fun. Fireworks, for example.”

“Okay, you have me there...so, how is life in Equestria suiting you? Any notable events come to mind?”

“Besides waking up something besides human? Not anything too interesting, unless you count rescuing slaves, hunting for artifacts, and researching to be interesting.”

“Well, I’m sure I could squeeze something out of it. It won’t win a Muleitzer, but it can work.”

*Marty clutches his hand to his heart at how bad the inter-dimensional pun is*

“Is something wrong, Mr. Stu?”

“Nothing, just noting another thing different between dimensions. Sometimes the differences and similarities can be really jarring.”

“Ah. Well, in that case, mind if I ask about the slaves? If I recall correctly, wasn’t Violet Melody one of the ones you rescued?”

“Yes. It happened the day after I arrived in your dimension, in fact. Her and twenty-nine other enslaved ponies.”

“And you single ho- Erm, handedly, rescued them all? You must be quite the warrior to have pulled that off.”

“Well, when you can stand up to a so-called god and win, a troupe of gamma and delta diamond dogs don’t really stand a chance.”

“You’ve fought...I shouldn’t be surprised. We’re talking inside of a dream realm, for Celestia’s sake! Speaking of which...how is that even possible?”

“Oh, Tel’aran’rhiod is the realm where dreams become a reality. Think of it as a world that interconnects all dreamers everywhere. A dreamer can purposely or accidentally send their minds into it, and interact with it. Someone like me, on the other hand, can send my and other’s physical bodies into it.”

“You have power over dreams? That’s incredible!”

“Yes, yes it is. But how else do you explain what you’ve been seeing?”

“Spiked drinks? They’ve done the same thing in Las Pegasus.”

“That type of hallucination is considerably less controlled than this.”

“Touche. Alright, so many of the other humans have been reported to have spoken to the Princesses at least once. Have you done that yet, or plan on it?”

“I had a ‘message’ I had to give to the Princesses, so yes, yes I did. I also needed their permission to use their library.”

“How did that turn out?”

“They listened to me, and I did get permission to use their library... until that idiot bugbear burned it down.”

“Ah, yes, I heard about that. Did you still find what you were looking for?”

“I found enough to start my search, as well as learn about the ‘Dragon Sage’.”

“The...what?”

“An ancient dragon that has knowledge as his horde, rather than gems and precious metals. Eccentric for an Equestrian dragon.”

“Ah. That makes sense, I suppose.”

“Yup”

“So, before I forget to ask, may I ask if there is anything between you and Violet? I noticed that you two seem to have a bit of a history outside of saving her from the slaves.”

“Well, to put it bluntly, we’re dating.”

“Oh? How would you say that i- No, wait. I shouldn’t ask, or else this would become one of those horrible tabloid magazines...SO! What are your plans for the future, then?”

“Live one day at a time, make sure that nothing destroys Equestria, things like that.”

“That’s a great plan. Much more thought out than all of the others. Anything you’d like to say to the readers at home?”

“Not really, all I have is cliches running through my head.”

“You can still use them. Maybe get revenge on any Language Arts teachers that may be reading.”

“Guten Abend, Fraulein. I think I should take you back to reality.”

“Well, thank you for your time, Mr. Stu,” Puppy said, smiling at the serpentine figure.

“No problem,” he responded. “Now...wake up.”

OIOIOIOIOIOIOIO

Startled, the Pegasus shot up from her bed...and realized she dreamed almost the entire interview.

“CELESTIA DAMN IT!” she cursed, throwing her pillow against a wall in frustration. Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted something that gave her pause to her rampage of sleepy rage.

Dear Puppy,

        Ha. Dream worlds can really do a number on you, huh?

                -Marty Stu

“...He’s worse than Dave, isn’t he?” she muttered.

Marty is from Keairan's story, "A Marty Stu Invades the Multiverse (Chess Game of The Gods)"

#6 - Ember the Dragon

#6 - Ember the Dragon

        T’was a dark, and stormy night, when Puppy Love and Dave approached the foreboding castle. The moon was covered in a thick veil of clouds, and bats screeched in the sky, as the two intrepid reporters fearfully walked on the path leading to the stone fortress.

        For once, Puppy was hoping that her sources had been wrong about this one. If her target truly lived in such a terrifying place, it could only mean that they were either an eccentric scholar, or a monster straight out of the stories she used to read that would make her cower under her bed for two days. Needless to say, the sight of the castle sent shivers down her spine each time she glanced at it.

        Nevertheless, she had ventured deep into the woods, armed with nothing but a flashlight, and her journal, just to get that story.

        “D-Dave?” she stuttered out, her teeth betraying how nervous she felt.

        Dave only squeaked once in reply.

        “Okay, good. You’re still there,” she sighed in relief. “I mean, uh, just didn’t want you missing out on when we got there.”

        “Well look alive,” Dave muttered. “You’re standing right in front of the door!”

        “...Meep.”

        With a trembling hoof, Puppy knocked once on the door.

        

Suddenly Puppy found herself inside a huge hall, the door behind her.

“...Dave?” the reporter asked once more.

“Yeah?”

“I need an adult.”

Staring out at the long, shadowy hall before them, the two friends both took a steadying breath.

“Okay...Let’s go...” Puppy said in a voice that was braver than she felt, before picking a door, and following it to what she hoped was her target. At the moment, she just wanted to get the story, go home, and hide inside of a massive pillow fort until her courage returned to her.  

For now, she had to settle for climbing up an enormous staircase.

OIOIOIOIOIOIOIO

“Al...most...there...” Puppy panted, sweat soaking her mane, as she ascended the final step. Her legs felt like they were on fire, her lungs were desperate for any oxygen they could grab. Whoever owned this tower, needed to install an elevator...

On the bright side, she finally DID reach the top of the stairs...only to find that she had read her senses wrong.

Her target was in the tower on the OTHER side of the castle.

“D’OH!”

OIOIOIOIOIOIOIO

This time, Puppy didn’t even have the energy to speak. Yes, she DID manage to climb back down, work her way around the castle, AND THEN make her path up the stairs to the new tower, but she was utterly exhausted.

Dave grinned wickedly at his friend’s misfortune.

Someday, Dave will learn how to keep his mouth shut. Today, however, is not that day.

“Couldn’t we have just, y’know, flown up there?” he asked.

“...I...will...just...” Puppy shook her head weakly, and groaned. “Let’s just get this over with!”

She knocked once on the wooden door. Too tired to use her hoof, she ended up flicking her head at the door, and sent the sprite flying at the door, where he crashed into it with an uncharacteristically large THUD. The pegasus smiled happily at the dazed look on Dave’s face, glad that she had managed to get him to be blessedly silent for just a few moments.

After a few moments the door creaked open, a seven and a half foot tall dragon standing in the entrance, gazing down at me. “Who the hell are you and how the hell did you enter my castle?”

The Pegasus trembled fearfully at the intimidating figure, before squeaking out, “I - uh - y’know, knocked?”

“No, you misunderstand me.” the dragoness replied, rubbing her brow. “Literally, how did you see the castle, let alone enter it.

Now she was more confused than scared. “Um...I don’t know? I just heard a few rumors, knocked on the door, and found myself in here.”

The dragoness stood in the doorway for a few more moments before sighing and backing up, allowing her entrance. “Could you at least answer if you have any special powers or are inherently magical in any way shape or form?”

She thought about it for a moment, before answering, “I do have something I like to call Tracking Sense. It lets me find whatever, or whoever, I’m looking for. Does that count?”

The dragoness sighed yet again. “That would show you where this place is, and considering you would have a legitimate reason for entry, the ward on the doors ward let you in.”

“Oh...I guess that makes sense. So, would you mind answering some questions for me? I should have mentioned this earlier, but I’m a reporter for the Equestrian Inquirer, Ponyville’s number one newspaper!”

“Journalists, perfect.” she replied, rolling her eyes.

The room behind her was a blend of gothic architecture and pure demonic furnishings. The idea of Castlevania worked perfectly, aside from there being a dragon instead of a vampire as the head of the house.

Puppy shifted awkwardly on her hooves, before saying, “If you don’t really want to, I can go somewhere else. Really, all I’m trying to do is get the truth out about the aliens that have been spotted around Equis.”

“What truth do you want to know. Not like anyone will remember it anyways.” my informant said.

“Some people will remember it though,” she replied. “That’s just what I’m trying to do. With everything that’s been going on lately, maybe a little bit of truth is what everypony needs.”

“Well then, fire away I guess.” says the dragoness, sitting down inside a plush armchair, a candelabra standing nearby.

Dave took out his notepad, grumbling incoherently all the while.

INTERVIEW

“So, who are you?”

        “Name is Ember, or Gemina if you catch her awake.” Ember said, turning to a desk nearby and picking up a volume that lay open.

“Excuse me?”

        “Look at my eyes for a second.” she replied, turning her head for me to see. She had two differently colored eyes, one purple and one red.

“...What was...But...how?!”

“I have two consciousnesses, one is the aforementioned Gemina, the other isme, Ember. They’re not alter ego’s but rather two completely different people.

        “That’s incredible! May I ask what it’s like?”

                “Beyond annoying. Moving on.” she said, flipping a page.

        “Alright then...So, are you really an alien like the others? And did a God send you here as well?”

                “Yes, somewhat, and no, nobody.”

        “Really? That’s definitely different. Not in a bad way, though. Do you have any special powers, like the others? And how do you like being a dragon?”

                “Special powers, besides generic inherent dragon abilities? And mostly yes, sometimes no.”

        “Yeah. I mean, dragons are normally known for their strength, and cunning. Not really much else is known about them.”

“Okay then, I can produce magic, move faster than sound, ummmm......Does raising a volcano in the middle of a town count as a power or magic?” Ember said, tapping her chin, still focusing on her book.

“If you’re the only one who’s done it, then I’d say it’s a power. How did...nevermind. So, why do you live in this castle? And how did you get it?”

        “The castle? Easy, I did the same thing as the volcano. After studying for a

couple of days with a few books from a certain purple mare, I just conjured it into

being. As to why I live here, studying purposes.”

“That’s incredible! Magically speaking, you’d have to be as powerful as Starswirl the Bearded to do just that! Wait, what were you doing in Ponyville in the first place?”

“I wasn’t in Ponyville, and actually, Starswirl was quite weak, he just had great control over how much power he used. Think of it like a oven. There’s a lot of heat in the oven, but a lot of it is wasted. Starswirl only used enough heat to literally surround the object.”

“That makes a lot more sense, actually. And if you weren’t in Ponyville, then where did you meet Twilight?”

        She smiled toothily, chuckling over her tome. “Who said I met her?”

“...Well played. If that’s the case, I take it you don’t want to share that information?”

        “No, it’s too important for anyone. Barely trust myself with it actually.”

“Oh. Well then...who was the mare?”

        The dragoness shudders, her mouth shut tight, before whispering, “Ritz......Korimere.”

“...Who...?”

        “Ritz Korimere.”

“...That’s a fun name.”

        “..........My sisters name.”

“Oh my. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you in any way.”

        “You’re a journalist, it’s already too late for that.” chuckled Ember.

“Sorry. If it’s too sensitive a topic, we can move on.”

        “Shall we?” she said, her voice heavy with sarcasm.

“Right. So...how do you like Equestria?”

        “About the same way most people like to have their tongues ripped out, their feet chopped off, and then their eyes pulled out, still capable of seeing, forcing themselves to look at their desecrated body.”

“...I’m truly sorry that you feel that way. What happened to make you see this place like that, though?”

        “My families dead, my siblings killed, one by my hand, the only one I love will never love me back, and I have little left, so yes, I hate this land, at least Earth was just unbearably difficult with school and bad parents.” she said, marking her page and closing her tome.

“There’s really nothing I can say to that, is there?”

        “One would say not.”

“Yeah...Are there any happy moments, at least? There has to be at least one redeeming quality.”

        “Yes, everyone I love, I met here. Oh, wait, they’re dead.”

“...I have a feeling that I’m running out of questions.”

        “Is it a horrid thing that the mere statement of that fact makes me jubilant?”

“Last two then: What are your current goals, and is there anything you’d like to say to the readers at home?”

        “Current goals cannot be said, and I’d tell all the readers at home to just forget me, go back to their lives and erase me from their memories. Now goodbye.” she stifly, as I’m suddenly teleported outside.

Puppy blinked at the sudden teleportation, and glanced up at the tower that loomed over her. She thought that Ivan had been scary...

He had nothing on Ember. Even though she hadn’t threatened her, she could feel the power and sorrow radiating off of her. He just acted scary.

She quickly unfurled her wings, and took off into the night.

Ember The Dragon is from Tamara Bloodhoof's story, "Dancing Flames, Cooling Ember"

#7 - Griffin the Griffin

#7 - Griffin The Griffin


“You know, it feels pretty good to finally be home,” Dave sighed, reclining on Puppy Love’s mane. He had a small tanning mirror clenched in his insect hands, and a wide-brimmed (at least for a cricket) sunhat perched on his head.

Normally, Pup would flick her mane forward, just to catch the sprite off guard, but she was too happy. It wasn’t everyday that her work allowed her to stay close to home. In fact, she actually thought that her sources had been wrong about this particular target; why would someone that famous, that important, be in Ponyville? It was a relatively known fact that he seemed to be dodging the press at all turns...

It was unmistakable though. Her unexplainable ability to track down her target had led her to this, her home...

“Are we lost again?” Dave asked.

“No!” Pup huffed indignantly. “We are NOT lost...we’re just distracted by the two-for-one sale on cherries!”

OIOIOIOIOIOIO

After a few hours of grocery shopping (with an entire hour of that being nothing but Dave complaining), Puppy finally packed away the last of her food into her home, and soared back into town, her keen eyes scanning the -

“THERE HE IS!” the sprite shouted from atop his perch. “ON THE BENCH!”

“You don’t have to yell...” she muttered.

She soared to the ground, and landed infront of the most (in)famous figure in Equestria...

The Pegasus hesitated though. Was this really him? He seemed to be missing a wing...

“Um...are you Griffin?” she asked, a little unsure of herself.

“Yeah,” he answered. “I am.”

Well, good enough for her!

“Hi...My name is Puppy Love, and this is Dave,” she said, introducing herself and her spritely companion. “Do you mind if I interview you for the Ponyville Inquirer?”

"Yeah, sure. I've been dodging the press long enough. Might as well get the full story out there."

INTERVIEW

“So, what is your name?”

“Griffin... the griffin.”

“Creative name.”

“My real name, before I came here, was Griffin. I don’t see any reason to change it just because it’s ironic.”

“Ah, so you’re an alien as well? Does that mean you were sent here by a God too?”

“A god, maybe, or maybe a lesser spirit, or maybe discord, or maybe I’m just crazy and this is all in my head. I really hope it’s not the last one.”

“Me too. Otherwise, that means I don’t exist, and I’ve wasted all this time interviewing ‘aliens’, when I could’ve been home, pretending that I do exist.”

“Finally! A pony with a sense of humor! Do you have any idea, any idea at all how many crazies are out there? Myself included. Every other human I’ve met up till to this point has had some form of mental issue. And not just humans, the ponies too. This entire world is crazy.”

“You learn to get used to it. Especially when the first alien you interview is a talking house cat in a suit. Implied hallucinations aside, let’s get back to the interview. So, you’re a pirate then?”

“Yeah, but not a very good one. I’ve done surprisingly little raiding and pillaging, and a great deal of freeing slaves. I guess pirate is my official title, but I think revolutionary is more accurate. And knight, if Celestia is to be believed.”

“I remember reading about that...Why did you shout that she was, ‘Best pony’?”

Griffin facepalmed. “Damn it Knightmare...... That bastard changeling posed as me. I never even went out on the stage. In my world, he was a ‘Celestia fanboy’. That, and he lives to ruin my image.”

“I’d say he didn’t do much to ruin it. Almost every other journalist I’ve met would give their left wing to get a chance to talk to you. After all, you’re arguably one of the most influential people in Equestria! Is it true that you defeated sixty dragons single handedly?” He began laughing one of those hearty laughs, like he knew something the rest of the world didn’t.

“Not sixty, six. And I had a barrage of cannon fire from my ship, AND a unicorn making me invisible as well as giving other support. Also, that joke was in poor taste. I love it.”

“I regret nothing. What about that unicorn, though? Is she your first mate, or something?”

“Nah, that’s Gilda. Trixie is my rider. Now, before you say anything, yes, I know most ponies find it weird to be ridden around. I really don’t mind. To me, it just feels..... right. I’ve even thought about giving earth ponies and unicorns ‘griffin rides’. But, we make a pretty effective fighting team. We even managed to beat up Octavia when she was possessed by the same spirit behind Nightmare Moon.”

“Wow...did that happen at the Gala? They didn’t release much details to the press.”

“Yeah... a lot of stuff happened. A lot of stuff involving a vault filled with the most dangerous objects in existence, which a certain dragon accidentally opened during their brawl with Luna. The same dragon that did.... this.” I motioned to my stump. “I still got out alive, so I have to say it’s not so bad.”

“Ouch...Well, that only adds to your reputation then. So...why DID you become a pirate in the first place? That really raised a few eyebrows all over Equestria.”

“Honestly? No idea. Kind of a spur of the moment thing. Mostly because we break rules and get away with it, and have a ship, and being a pirate sounds more fun.”

“If it works, I guess I can’t fault you on it. Is it also true that you’re trying to rebuild the Griffin Dominion?”

“Not rebuild so much as restart. It’s not even going to be a dominion. More like a republic. The only reason I’m using the name is because the griffins fondly remember the old monarchy, and it stirs up a fire in their hearts. I’m not looking to get back to what it was before, I want to make it better.”

“That’s certainly an admirable goal...would that make you a Pirate King, then? Or are you King of the Pirates? Or both?”

“Don’t make me make a One Piece reference. Considering we’re the ONLY pirates... and I officially gave Gilda command while I’m on the mend, for the moment, she’s the queen of the pirates.”

“I’m going to guess that One Piece is an alien thing. So, that being said, how have you taken to Equestria?”

“Not very well. In case you haven’t noticed.... most ponies are pretty racist. First time I came to Ponyville, I couldn’t even do groceries. Everyone kept looking at me like I was going to rob them or something. And this was before I started calling myself a pirate.”

“Ah...I’m sorry to hear that. If it’s any consolation, I’ll do my best to keep this interview as unbiased as possible. Now then...with everything you’ve said, I’m pretty sure everyone wants to know: Why are you doing all of this?”

“Well.. I don’t know if it’s been explained before, but we humans have been watching this world for some time. Ever since the nightmare moon incident. We’ve seen it, and, compared to our world, this one is a paradise. Well, we thought it was. We only saw Equestria. When I saw how messed up the rest of the world was, I had to do something. I mean, I couldn’t just sit there anymore. I may have been helpless where I came from, but here, I can DO something. So, I tried, and surprisingly, it’s working. There have been a few setbacks, but nothing that can’t be recovered from.”

“That’s...well, that’s a good thing. I’m not sure how everypony will react to knowing they’ve been watched, but if it means that you’ve been able to make this place any better, then it’s a good thing. So, what are your goals for the future?”

“Get healed, get my robot wing, and get back to freeing slaves and setting up more islands. After this last batch we liberated, we’re gonna be running out of room on Signal, and we should probably start setting up on some other islands. Keep the settlements small. That way, if disaster strikes, it’s easier to handle.”

“That definitely sounds like a good plan. Anything you’d like to say to the readers at home?”

“Nah. Can’t think of anything that isn’t cliché.”

“So, that’s about it. Anything else?” Griffin asked.

“No, I think that’s good. Thank you for your time,” Pup answered happily, ecstatic that she had finally interviewed him. She had to have been the first successful journalist to secure an exclusive with Equestria’s most famous pirate! Nopony could top that!

As she started to walk away, she heard Griffin say, “Oh, hey, wait!”

“Hmm?” the journalist turned back for a moment.

“Of all those 'humans' out there that you've found, have you ever actually seen what a human looks like?” he asked her.

“Well, no...” Puppy admitted.

“Then how do you know it's real, and that we're not just crazy?"

Puppy was ready for this one. “"There's way too many for it to be an isolated incident, and for so many to show up with the SAME craziness, it's too convenient.” She paused, before adding somewhat reluctantly, “Still, I don't actually have any solid PROOF, just a theory without any holes in it...."

“What if I told you I could give you that proof?”

“Oh?” Puppy asked, intrigued. “How?”

“Well, by turning human,” he said, matter-of-factly, as if he were just saying that the sky was cloudy.

“You can do that?” she nearly shouted in her excitement.

“Yeah. Watch.”

The griffin reached for a medallion that had been hanging around his neck, and muttered something underneath his breath. Suddenly, his body began to transform right before the stunned equine’s eyes. His feathers disappeared, strange clothes adorned his now bipedal figure, and a pair of thick sunglasses were placed on his eyes.

The best word to describe Puppy Love at that exact moment: Ecstatic. She was so amazed, that she nearly missed the figure’s next words, which only served to excite her even further.

“Well? You gonna get a picture or what?”

Puppy shook herself out of her stupor, and stuttered out, “Oh! Right! Okay, let me just set up the equipment...”

A few minutes later, she had set up the camera stand, camera, flash-bulb, and everything required to get a picture with Griffin. Once she had positioned everything around him just right, she placed herself underneath his hand, a wild smile plastered onto her face.

“Okay so, just put your hand on my head so everypony can see how tall you really are, and I'll set off the camera from here. I'm in the photo so they'll be able to tell it's real,” she explained, barely able to contain herself.

Dave jumped on the camera a few times, making sure to get the perfect picture.

“Alright, done,” Puppy smiled. “Thanks again!”

“No problem.”

Curious, Pup worked up the courage to ask the pirate, “Um... if you don't mind me asking.... why are you wearing sunglasses?”

“Well, that would be...” he turned and stared at a spot slightly to her left, “because I have no eyes.”

He removed his glasses to reveal a pair of empty sockets, sending chills down Puppy’s spine. Dave resisted the urge to vomit into Puppy’s mane.

“Okay, creepiness aside, that's good,” Puppy said in an attempt to steer the conversation away from that topic. “Certifiable proof of aliens in Equestria! I'm gonna be famous! I mean, you already told the princesses, and a bunch of other ponies, but I'm the first one to actually get a picture of a human!”

She clapped her hooves together in happiness, completely forgetting the disturbing image of the eyeless human. Griffin changed back into his...erm, griffin form, much to the shock of a passing foal. Said foal stared gapingly at the pirate, a look of palpable fear on her face.

“Standing there with your mouth open is unbecoming of a lady,” Griffin dryly commeted, before poking the foal’s head.

“Aaaaaand she's gone. Might want to get her home... or something,” he sighed.

“Yeah...” she agreed, before adding, “By the way... your hands are...” Puppy blushed visibly. “Really nice...They feel good.... in the mane...”

“Okay then? I'm just gonna go now. See ya around....maybe...”

With that, Puppy picked up the small foal, and trotted into town. She wouldn’t feel right, just leaving this foal to...

“Wait, isn’t this Diamond Tiara?” Dave asked, recognizing the foal. “Didn’t she write those awful Gossip Stories?”

“She forced them to write them...but I DO remember her pestering me to review her writing, and she got mad at us for saying she was horrible?”

Puppy placed the foal in a nearby garbage can, and trotted away happily.

Griffin is from BlackWing's story, "Griffin the Griffin"

#8 - Khajiit the Bast

#8 - Khajiit The Bast


Puppy Love didn’t exactly “like” the robust town of Stalliongrad. The streets were admittedly much cleaner than she was expecting, and the guards treated her nicely enough...but the way she had see them treat the other species...

They weren’t exactly going to get any awards for “Outstanding Kindness” anytime soon. It seemed that their view of “Polite” was a demand for an outrageous bribe of some sort. If they didn’t get it, they would pull the poor sap into a back alley to...speak with them.

She planned on reporting them as soon as possible. But for now, she would have to settle for following her gut towards her next target. Once again, her sources had managed to help her onto the right path. This time, she was standing in front of a tavern/bar building in the middle of the city. Apparently, her target worked there as a waiter.

And he was an oddity, according to them. She couldn’t get much more out of them than that...

That didn’t stop her from going into the building, though. Sadly, Dave had elected to stay home this time around. Her earlier notes and interviews still had to be organized after all, and she didn’t feel like putting up with his constant sarcasm.

...And he might have broken his legs...by crashing into Puppy’s moving flyswatter...that was aimed a- Okay, you get the idea.

The Pegasus entered the establishment, and was immediately surprised by how...well...impressive it looked. The main room was a large circular area, covered with durable looking tables that would not look out of place in a restaurant. Off to her right, she could see a bar with several employees bustling about it. Opposite of that, an area had been set aside for live performances and dancing, with some ponies already doing just that. Above her, she managed to glimpse a few more floors that had been set up in a ring-like fashion. Seven balconies loomed above those, their curtains hiding whatever may have been in there from view.

She was tempted to stay there for a while...but she had more important things to do. Climbing up the winding staircase, she made her way to the third floor. Barely any of the tables up there were occupied at the moment, and only one waiter was working this level.

It seemed her sources were right. He DID look downright odd. For one thing, it appeared to be a cat-person with mahogany colored fur. She remembered seeing them around the jungle areas, but it was a bit surprising to see one all the way out here. That, and it appeared to be missing part of its right arm, and its tail.

Her gut was still stubbornly telling her that he was her target.

She trotted over to the figure, and lightly tapped his shoulder. “Excuse me, sir?” she asked.

“Hello. Can I help you with something?” He smiled, but it appeared distant, as if he had a lot on his mind.

The Pegasus cleared her throat, and said in what she hoped was a professional tone, “Hello sir! My name is Puppy Love, and I’m a journalist for the Ponyville Inquirer. Are you Khajiit?”

“Most people call me Jack, but yes. It’s nice to meet you.”

“I was wondering if I might have a few moments of your time, so I could interview you,” she said, getting straight to the point.

“Alright I guess. I have some time to kill.” He shrugged and motioned towards a table.

This time, she set up a small notepad on the table. She really needed to apologize to Dave next time she saw him...

INTERVIEW

“So, first of all, what’s your name?”

“Jack Khajiit. It’s the only name I have that isn’t stupid.”

“That...seems reasonable. It sounds like a good name, at least. So, would I be right in guessing that you’re an alien like some of the others I’ve interviewed?”

“Alien...I’ve never thought of it that way. I always assumed it was an alternate dimension type thing...But yes, I am.”

“It’s easier for me to write. I don’t exactly want to keep writing, ‘Creature from an alternate universe that we’ve never seen before’ every time I meet someone like that. Anyways, were you sent here by a God or Goddess as well?”

“Yes.”

“Which one?”

“...I’m not sure if I’m at liberty to say.”

“They sound rude, to say the least. But, I won’t press for details. So, what do you think of Equestria so far?”

“Well, outside of the things that try to kill me, it’s a great place. Food’s good, there’s a lot of friendly people, and I really can’t complain about the magic. A tad racist at times though...”

“I’m really sorry about that. Some ponies just...well, they don’t take the time to try and learn the truth. Now, may I ask what you’re doing in Stalliongrad?”

“I live here for one thing. Well, for now at least. In a week I’m heading south on an expedition.”

“Oh? Where to?”

“Not entirely sure. I just know it’s south. Off the map south.”

“Oh? Why’s that?”

“Long story short, we found an old tablet that supposedly leads to the origins of my race...well the race I’ve become. Me and two friends of mine are going to find it.”

“What’s it like to be in a new body, anyways? I probably should have asked the others that, in retrospect...oh well!”

“It’s...weird at first. My leg structures a little different. And I’m a bit taller. More athletic, senses are sharper...and the fur! Don’t get me started on the fur! How can you stand being covered by wet hair every time you take a bath?”

“On four hooves.”

“...I suppose you think that was clever?”

“A little bit, yes. Was it?”

“...A little bit.”

“Thank you. So, I take it you like being a...I’m sorry, but what IS your race called?”

“I’m a Bast. And it’s okay. Most of my species doesn’t even know what we’re called.”

“That’s a little sad, actually. How can they not know that?”

“...I’m not sure. Apparently something happened a long time ago that caused most of their history to vanish. I’m hoping to find out on this...I suppose quest would be a good term.”

“I agree. If you’re going to be doing that though, why are you working in a bar? Need money, or something?”

“No. I have more than enough prize money. Though most of it’s probably getting spent in Bitsberg...Still, this place is my home. The people here are like family. And to tell you the truth, I just like my job. Sure it’s boring sometimes, but it’s simple and you meet a lot of interesting people.”

“I’m happy to hear that! It’s not often that you can find a good home, huh?”

“Yeah. I’ve seen some of the places people are using as homes in this city. I got lucky.”

“I can tell...So, in happier topics. Who’s joining you on your quest?”

“An old Bast named Ren and a unicorn named Fault. Maybe more people will decide to come along, but for now, it just looks like those two.”

“That sounds good then...erm...I’m sorry if this is a personal question, but...How did...you know...?”

“Yeah...we should probably just get that out of the way.”

“Sorry...How did you lose your arm? And your tail?”

“The arm was shot with a poisoned arrow and had to be cut off. The tail got trapped under a mace by a psychopath who was trying to kill me. Had to cut that one off myself...”

“Oh...I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.”

“No, it’s fine. I...I’ve just learned to live with it, you know?”

“I guess...Alright, so. I’ve heard word that you took part in some form of tournament during you time here. Is that true? If it is, how did you do?”

“I won.”

“Did you enjoy it?”

“Hell no! I was hospitalized three times!”

“Then why did you join?”

“...I’m not sure. I guess it just sounded like a good idea at the time. Fight a few people, win some money, a grand old bloody time. Unfortunately I neglected to see who I would be fighting beforehand.”

“That makes sense. So...I’ve also heard something about...what was it...the Ward? Does that mean anything to you?”

“Yes. Just know he got everything he deserved and things will hopefully improve around here soon.”

“I guess I can live with that...”

“So...anything else you want to know?”

“...Um...well, you already told me your current goals. Normally that’s saved for the end, but...Oh well. Is there anything that you’d like to say to the viewers at home?”

“Well...I guess I could say that things are never as bad as you think they are. And trust me, they can get pretty bad sometimes. Still, things always get worse before they get better,so just grit your teeth and keep going...I guess...Good God, I sound like a Hallmark movie.”

“That about does it. Thank you for your time, Mr. Jack,” she said, bowing her head to the Bast in respect and gratitude.

“No problem,” he replied.

With that, she left the bar, and went home, with nothing out of the ordinary happening to her at all.

What? Did you think it always had to end on a bizarre note? That’s just stereotyping.


Khajiit is from Fordregha's story, "Through Feline Eyes"

#9 - Zeta Chi the Winged Wolf

#9 - Zeta Chi The Winged Wolf


“Why,” Dave coughed out, “do your senses always lead us to the WORST places?”

“Oh, come on now,” Puppy replied, a note of forced cheer in her voice. “Dredgemane isn’t THAT bad.”

“...The left side of your forehead twitched,” Dave deadpanned. “That means you’re lying.”

Sighing in defeat, the journalist could only nod in agreement at that point. If there was ever a town that Puppy had come close to disliking, it would be Dredgemane. Carved into the very side of a canyon, it was one of the largest cities in Equestria, and one of the most populated as well. Ponies and Diamond Dogs alike were both bustling about the city, each of them wearing some form of mining equipment. Dust clogged the air, making it impossible for the two tourists to breathe properly.

Still, the town had its merits. It had become so entwined with the canyon it had been born from, that it was nearly impossible to distinguish between the two. Massive, dull colored stone buildings loomed around them, proud looking structures that would surely stand the test of time. The sounds of mining seemed to echo in an almost rythmic fashion against the canyon walls, giving off a strange sort of peace...

“Boooorrrriiiing,” Dave groaned. “Can we just find the bastard and get on with it? I can’t breathe!”

“Dave!” Pup chided, slightly shocked. “Where did you learn that word?”

“...What was it those humans called it? ‘Internet’?” he meekly replied.

Puppy flicked her head, causing him to be thrown into the window of a nearby bar, its sign designating it as “Hard Rock Cafe”. The cricket shook his head in a daze, and peered into the establishment.

“Hey! You gotta see this, Pup!” he shouted. “There’s some kinda wolfy thing in there!”

“Those are typically called ‘Diamond Dogs’.”

“No, I mean...it’s like a wolf! But with wings! And it’s really putting away those bottles,” he commented. “Hey, five bits says he passes out after the next bottle!”

“...I think that’s our guy,” she muttered, peeling Dave off the window, and carrying him into the bar.

It was just as the sprite had said. Right at the bar, sitting next to a pair of Diamond Dogs, was...well, a wolf. With wings. Several bottles were placed in front of the trio, and as the wolf lifted another bottle to his lips to drain it, one of the dogs burped sickeningly. The other one...well, it was already lying in a pool of its own vomit...and stale beer.

“I believe someone owes me five bits,” the winged wolf said. “I heard you outside.”

The cricket winced, before quickly recovering to say, “We didn’t shake on it!”

The wolf turned towards the pair and set his ice blue eyes onto Dave, the scar covering the left eye adding to the intimidation. “Listen Jiminey Cricket, I heard the wager and you’ll be paying up. Or I might just find some hungry pigeons nearby if you catch my drift.”

Pup thought that this might be a good time to intervene. Smoothly, she said, “Well, technically, he was talking to me. Not you. So he doesn’t really owe you anything.”

“HA!” Dave stuck out his tongue at the wolf.

“However!” she interrupted, “You still have to pay ME those bits.”

“What?! B-but I- You said-”

Pup cleared her throat, and held out her hoof. Still grumbling, Dave pulled out the impossibly large (compared to him at least) coins, and reluctantly gave them to the Pegasus.

“There. Everyone satisfied?” Pup asked.

“No,” Dave muttered.

“Whatever,” the feathery wolf mumbled. “Is there any reason you two are here, or can I go grab another drink in peace?”

“You might be able to do both,” Puppy said. “My name is Puppy Love. I’m a journalist for the Ponyville Inquirer, and I was hoping I could get an interview with you.”

The wolf gave her an inquisitive stare before heading over to a table waving her to follow. Once seated, he turned towards the pair and explained simply, “You’re paying for drinks during the entire interview. Let’s get this ball rolling.”

“Fair enough,” she consented.

Dave pulled out his notepad, and prepared to take notes.

INTERVIEW

“So, what’s your name?”

“My name is Zeta the cynogriffin, Senmurv’s Heir.”

“...Whose heir?”

“Senmurv’s Heir. Senmurv was the last leader of the cynogriffins during the war with the demon Tirek. During that war almost all the wolves, not just cynogriffins, were wiped out of existence.”

“That’s horrible...So, does this make you the last of their kind, an alien, or both?”

“Well I filled out my residency papers and got a citizenship from the Mayor, so I’m not an alien technically. But as far as I know I am the last of the cynogriffins yes.”

“Did a God send you here, like the others? And did they give you any special powers as well?”

“Yup, Eris goddess of Chaos. She’s a complete bitch to deal with, though I only had that one talk after Phi showed up. As for special powers, not really. I can just do what any above average cynogriffin could do.”

“What would that be?”

“Breaking the Speed Barriers. I’ve only gotten up to the 3rd Barrier so far, but Firefly was telling me I have the potential to go farther than that.”

“Firefly? Who’s that?”

“Really? I thought most pegasi were crazy Wonderbolt fans. Anyway, Firefly was the very first Wonderbolt, breaking of all 7 Speed Barriers, yadda, yadda, yadda.”  

“So, since you’re a wolf, does that mean you like to howl at the moon every night?”

“Yo, that’s some racist shit right there. I know that wolves aren’t around, but I mean seriously? I’m actually somewhat insulted by that one. You owe me a couple more drinks for that guy.”

“Then you owe me a drink for saying that just because I’m a Pegasus, I’m obsessed with the Wonderbolts.”

“... Touche my fine feathery pony friend. Touche.”

“Alright, onto the next question. So, what have you been doing recently? Not many ponies seem to have even heard of you in the first place.”

“And that’s the way I like it. You see, I’m a bounty hunter, pretty much mercenary, for my job. My clients aren’t the kindest of souls all the time, so I don’t like publicity. It puts my daughter in danger.”

“Your daughter? But I thought you said you were the last of your kind?”

“This is off the record, just in case anyone who doesn’t like me reads this, got it?”

“Of course.”

“When I first moved to my current residence, I happened upon a homeless filly named Scootaloo. I took her in and cared for her, but didn’t adopt her until a certain incident with her birth parents occurred. I honestly would do anything to keep her safe, which I have done during the changeling invasion.”

“I’m sure that’s the truth. Wait, what do you mean ‘during the changeling invasion’?”

“Long story there. I was incarcerated during the beginning of the invasion for reasons I’m going to leave out, but was released by Luna shortly after Chrysalis revealed herself to Canterlot to help fend off the changelings. Cynogriffins are pretty adapt fighters in the sky.”

“That’s impressive. Now, you say you’re a bounty hunter? What kind of people do you...well, hunt?”

“Pretty much anyone I’m hired to hunt. I’ve taken out mob bosses, I’ve hunted down lost orphans, I’ve been hired to save some kids from a batch of woods that lost its Proctor, I’ve been used as an escort for wealthy businessmen. You name it I’ve probably done it. The only contract I didn’t take was on that Griffin Pirate crew, because it was too far from home at the time and not worth the cost.”

“I can imagine. Still, from the sounds of things, you’ve definitely had an interesting time here in Equestria. How do you like it, compared to your old world?”

“Let’s not talk about my old life. Real bad memories I don’t want to dig up.”

“I’m sorry. So, what are your plans for the future?”

“Well, I’m currently here on a job, and my daughter is supposed to be here in a few days for a concert she’s in. After that’s all said and done, probably just continue hunting and trying to be a good dad.”

“That’s an excellent plan. One of the better ones I’ve heard, to be honest. So, is there anything you’d like to say to the readers at home?”

“You really shouldn’t take life too seriously, cause you’ll never get out alive. That and I’d like another dozen drinks for the road. Thanks.”

“Well, that about does it,” Puppy said, hefting out a large bag of bits and placing it on the table. “This should make an excellent section in the paper. Thank you again for your time, Mr. Zeta.”

Shoving the dozen beers into his bag, Zeta flashes Puppy a grin. “Pleasure is all mine. I’ll see you around maybe,” before flying out the door and into the sky.

“I don’t like him,” Dave mumbled.

“And I’m sure he doesn’t like you, either,” Puppy shot back.

The sprite stood to say something witty, but accidentally slipped and tumbled off of the pegasus...and landed in an open bottle of beer. This wasn’t that stale stuff that had been on the ground, though. No, this was specialty Diamond Dog alcohol, guaranteed to get a Dog drunk in ten bottles, or your bits back.

“Hey? You alright?” Puppy asked in a concerned tone, as the cricket desperately crawled out of the bottle, drenched to his very core.

He let out a small hiccup, and said, “I’m fine, Luppy Pove. Now, let’sh go home.”

“...Are you drunk?”

“I swear to drunk, Celestia, I’m not Puppy,” he giggled.

“Oh, dear sweet Luna, you are,” she groaned.

“Hey! I’m am too sober!” he slurred back. To prove his point, he stood precariously upwards, and did a weak somersault forward. “See? It’s as easy as counting!”

“Yeah. How high can you count?”

“Erm...One bottle...two bottles...three bottles...” He began to sway dangerously, and as he fell to the ground, he managed to slur out, “Floor.”

Puppy sighed, and placed the sprite into her pocket.

“You better be happy you’re not a full sized pony, or else I’d just leave you here,” she grumbled.

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