Beyond Me

by Boopy Doopy

First published 1st of July, 2020

This isn't me. I am not this pony.

This story starts just before season one

In the blink of an eye, the whole world collapsed in on me. Well, it didn't necessarily collapse. It's different though. Very different. Frighteningly different. I knew that God had a plan for me, I just didn't think it would involve being a pony.

Cover art by Hemlock conium

Note: While this story has religious elements, this story is not about religion

My Unexpected Appearance

I squeezed my eyes shut, fear threatening to overcome me. “Oh, please, Lord, please…” I whispered as I lay on the ground, “please don’t let this be real.”

I quickly opened them again to see that nothing had changed since I had them open a few seconds ago. There were still a pair of hooves attached to silver-coated legs in front of me, their view obscured just a little by the Christmas-gold hair I now wore. I watched the foreign limbs start to shake as tears started to well up in my eyes. I desperately didn’t want to be where I was.

“Please, God, don’t let me be here!” I asked again, louder this time. “Please don’t let this be happening to me!”

I was lying on my back, staring up at the moon. It was a clear night outside, calm and bright, and I could sense it was nearing twilight as I heard birds chirping around me. It was quiet where I lay, with dark houses in front of me, signifying that whatever creatures were in there were still sleeping. Creatures like me I assumed, the thought of which made the tears that were forming threaten to spill out.

“Calm down,” I whispered to myself, hating the voice that came out. I absolutely hated it, and felt a few tear droplets work their way out. “Calm down!” I demanded myself, still whispering, trying to take deep breaths. “You’re going to be fine! You just have to calm down. You’ll be okay.”

I was lying to myself. I wasn’t going to be fine. I didn’t know what just happened to me, and didn’t know why it happened either, but I knew four things about my current situation that would make sure I wasn’t going to be fine. The first thing was that I wasn’t at home, or anywhere near it. I didn’t know exactly where I was, but I did know I wasn’t on Earth, what with the strange looking buildings that had overly bright, unrealistic colors, as well as the unicorn shaped face made from the dark spots of the moon. Besides, I knew that no one from Earth looked like how I looked.

My current form was the second thing. I wasn’t a human being. I was a… I didn’t know. I assumed I was something a lot like a horse, but not entirely the same. I didn’t look entirely like one, nor did I feel like one, not that I knew what being a horse felt like. I did know that horses had eyes on the sides of their faces and long muzzles, neither of which was the case for me. The face on this body was rounded, with its eyes in front. As well, the coat I wore felt more like fur than it did hair, and I felt much smaller than an actual horse. The word pony came to mind when I thought about my new appearance.

Because of how small the body I inhabited felt, another word came to mind: child. It was the third thing that was upsetting me. I felt like I was in a child’s body, or, in this case, a child pony’s body. I didn’t want to be a child. I didn’t want to be subject to the whims of others. I knew that whoever saw me- whether human, horse-like thing, or anything else otherwise- would be concerned about me and want an explanation. For some reason, I really didn’t want to deal with that. I did not want to relive childhood, especially not as a horse in a world I didn't.

The final thing I was upset with was my voice. It was squeaky and high pitched like a child’s. More than that, it sounded like a girl’s, with a body to match it. It took only a few seconds of me being here to figure out I was no longer in a male’s body, and I didn’t like it. On its own, it would trouble me, but combined with everything else that was happening at the exact same time, the thought of being a girl now was so uncomfortable that I had to choke back my tears. I had a sudden, extreme urge to break down right then and there.

“Don’t break down,” I thought to myself, closing my eyes. “Don’t break down. There’s no reason to break down. Surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

It was a phrase I liked, my confirmation verse in fact, and I found myself saying it often, mostly whenever I was getting frustrated or feeling troubled. To me, it said, "God is always with you and he'll never leave. It's not worth getting angry or upset over little things because He's always with you, and you should never be afraid because He has a plan for your life." However, as I said it, it didn't give me the comfort it usually did. I was still very afraid of my current situation, and felt the very tiniest sliver of doubt in the words I thought.

“Stop that,” I whispered to myself harshly, clenching my jaw. “There's no reason to doubt or be afraid. Figure out what’s going on and where you’re at, and go from there.”

I lifted my head and looked around again for a few seconds, as though I'd suddenly recognize where I was, before giving up. I knew it was a waste of time. Laying there looking around wasn't going to tell me where I was. I needed to get up and get to… somewhere. I didn’t know where, or what to do when I got there, but doing something was better than nothing.

I turned over to my stomach and carefully stood up, my new legs shaking. It wasn’t just the newfound anxiety and panic I had though. The sensation of standing felt awkward, like I was standing on my tippy toes, except with just one toe that was completely flat. It felt like my feet were positioned where my ankles should have been, and I nearly fell over just standing.

“Carefully,” I told myself as I took a shaky step forward. “Go slow.” I felt clumsy as I started forward, moving as slowly as possible to make up for any lack of coordination I now had. My joints didn’t move how I expected, and I had no idea what the correct technique was. Not that it mattered though. I had no idea where I was stumbling off to or where anyone who could help me would be, if there was someone who could do something.

I suddenly felt another wave of panic and terror at that thought, the idea that I would stay here forever, and fell back down to the ground. I was very afraid, but I forced myself to take another breath and push the fear back down. “Surely always,” I whispered again, this time with a little more conviction.

I watched both the sun rise and the moon fall as I stayed laying on the ground. I noticed that they were moving much faster than they would in the real world, and let that observation give me a little hope. It was a bit unnerving to watch, but I took it as a sign that I might have been dreaming. It didn’t feel like one, but it was a convenient and reasonable explanation. The idea that I was somehow lucid dreaming made more sense than the idea of me actually being wherever I was as whatever I was. Not that it wasn’t impossible for me to truly be here, but I was more comfortable with the idea that this was a dream. The idea that I was really here had more uncomfortable implications attached to it than just what was stated before, and I decided that I would just go with the idea that I was dreaming for the time being, despite not completely believing it.

I took a second to try and remember what happened immediately leading up to my appearance, but came up empty. The previous day was blank in my mind, as were the several days before them. It was concerning, but I tried to convince myself that, since this was a dream, I’d have trouble remembering things that happened in the real world. I didn’t know how true that actually was, but I liked the explanation.

I watched as the sun reached the midway point in the sky just a few minutes later before it finally stopped moving, and noticed other creatures, ponies like me, make their way out of their houses. They were a multitude of colors, from dark red to bright blue to brilliant yellow and everything else in between, all a weird cartoonish sort of color that colored everything around me. They had smallish mouths near the bottom of their faces, along with impossibly large eyes that took up about two-thirds of their headspace. It was a bit creepy of a sight to see, and creepier to know that I probably looked very similar to them.

I let the sight of them feed into my explanation that this was just a dream, that this wasn’t real. Nothing this… bizarre looking could possibly exist in real life. The thought calmed me down as I continued to look at them as they did… whatever it was they typically did. Mostly just hurrying off to different places, smiling at and greeting each other as they passed by. As they left what looked to be their homes, I began to see that there were a few distinct differences that separated them into smaller groups of creatures than just horse-ponies. They were simple enough, unicorns with horns, pegasi with wings, and regular ponies with neither. Quickly looking myself over, I saw that I was a regular… pony. Or, as regular a pony I could be, given what I was seeing in front of me.

I took a quick breath and closed my eyes again as I continued to lay on the ground. “Calm down,” I quietly told myself. “This is a dream. This isn’t real. You’re going to be fine because this isn’t real.”

“What are you doing?” someone, somepony, a girl, suddenly asked me, a curious tone in her voice.

My eyes once again shot open as I looked to see a small pegasus who was no bigger than me. She had an orange coat that contrasted well against her purple hair, mane, with matching purple eyes to go along with it. Her wings were small, smaller than I expected, and I got a sort of ‘tomboy’ vibe from her appearance despite just meeting her.

“Why are you laying on the ground?”

“I… I don’t know,” I answered, taking a breath to keep myself calm as I found myself hating the girlish, childish voice that came out, believing a little more that this was a dream. “I’ve no idea what I’m doing.”

She stared at me silently with a questioning look on her face for a few seconds before speaking again. “Are you okay? Cause, no offense, you look like you’re about to cry.”

I closed my eyes for a second and sighed. “Yes, I’m fine,” I lied as I picked myself back up from off the ground.

She watched skeptically as I slowly did so, my legs shaking under me once again. As I concentrated on not falling over, the pegasus asked, “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“This is a dream. It’s not real,” I thought, before answering, “Yeah, I’m pretty sure, but I don’t really know.”

“Okay… if you say so,” she told me doubtfully. “Who are you anyway? I haven’t seen you around here before.”

“This isn’t real,” I told myself again, more forcefully this time. “This. Isn’t. Real. You’re going to be fine.”

"No, I'm not from around here," I answered simply, staring at my legs, my hooves, as I once again started to take very small, shaky steps forward. I wanted to make my way to somewhere else, even if I didn't know where somewhere else was. I didn't know why, but the idea of going somewhere else made me more hopeful that none of this actually happened to me. It made me more hopeful that this was all a dream.

“Are you absolutely sure you’re okay?” the pegasus asked me as she watched me slowly and awkwardly move forward. I nodded my head, but she pressed further, unconvinced. “You don’t look okay. Are you sick?”

“No, I’m fine,” I said, half to her and half to myself. “I’m just… I don’t know. I just wasn't expecting to be here. I’m probably fine though.”

“What were you doing laying in the middle of the road anyway? Trying to get a cutie mark in getting trampled on?”

I stopped my attempt at walking and debated for a moment whether I should ask the obvious question or to just answer with “no”. A few seconds later, I decided that my question's implication, if it had one, didn’t matter since this was a dream. “What’s a cutie mark?” I asked the orange pegasus.

Her eyes went wide in shock at that, as though I asked what year it was. “You don’t know what a cutie mark is?” she asked back, completely flabbergasted.

“No…” I trailed off. “Not really”

She continued to stare at me with eyes that clearly didn’t believe what her ears heard. “Uh, I think we should find a grown-up. You’re definitely not okay.”

Author's Notes:

Art of our protagonist, by Eponasong:

Friendly Introductions

“Why are you moving so slowly?” the orange pegasus asked me, sounding exasperated as she used her head to push me from behind. “We need to get you to the hospital! You could have brain damage!”

“Don’t push me,” I told her. “I don’t want to trip and fall over. And I don’t have brain damage.”

“Maybe that’s why you were laying on the ground earlier!” she continued. “Maybe you tripped and hit your head, and now you can’t remember what cutie marks are!”

“This isn’t real, this is a dream,” I silently told myself before speaking again. “I don’t have brain damage,” I asserted, “and I’m pretty sure no one in my family has a ‘cutie mark’.”

“Wait, what?” she started, taken aback as she stopped pushing. “Nopony in your family has a cutie mark?”

“No, not that I know of,” I explained, “which would be why I don’t know what that is.”

“Not even your parents?”

“Um, no?”

“How is that even possible!” she almost yelled. “Everypony has to get their cutie mark eventually! Right?”

“Well, my parents aren’t ponies, so…”

I said those words and immediately hated them. It forced me to fight back another wave of anxiety at the prospect of this... scenario being real. This wasn’t me. I wasn’t a pony. I was an adult human male, not this… horse girl. This was a dream. It had to be. At the very least, I would tell myself it was until I was proven otherwise. There were a lot of uncomfortable things I’d have to work through if this was truly reality, and I really didn’t want to deal with them if I didn’t have to.

“Hmmm…” she said thoughtfully. “I guess it makes sense why you wouldn’t know… Hey! I have an idea! Since you said you’re not from here and you obviously don’t know anything about being a pony, you could come to school with us today and learn about it!”

My inclination was to say no. I’d only been there a few minutes, but somehow it felt like saying yes was accepting this… situation as reality. But I forced myself to rid that inclination from my mind. This wasn’t real, and saying yes wouldn’t mean anything. The only way for this to be real was if God put me here, and while I couldn’t say for absolute certain he didn’t put me here, I still believed it was highly unlikely that that was the case. This was just a dream. A lucid, highly realistic dream, but a dream nonetheless.

“Come on!” she insisted, seeing my doubt. “Your parents won’t get mad at you, will they? If they’re not ponies, this could be your only opportunity to learn about cutie marks! Me and my friend Sweetie Belle could teach you all about them!”

I focused on the words ‘your only opportunity’ and let them relax me. This was obviously a dream, and my subconscious was trying to tell me so. It was saying that I should just go along with it because this wasn’t real.

“Well… if you say so…” I told her, deciding to play this dream out. “I don’t see why not.”

“Great!” she let out, putting on a wide smile. “I’m sure Miss Cheerliee won’t mind! Her classroom is actually really close to here! Just follow me!” The pegasus then quickly turned around and raced forward in what I assumed to be the direction of the school. I watched her run for a few seconds before she stopped and called out to me. “Come on!” she yelled, then started to run again.

“Lord, if it’s in your will, please let this be a dream,” I whispered in prayer as I once again started to make my way forward.

I stared at my feet, my hooves, the whole time as I moved. I talked to myself as I did so, telling myself which leg to move, gradually speeding up from a crawl to a slow walk. Apparently, though, the pace I was going wasn’t fast enough for the pegasus, as I saw her come rushing back to me. “You’re going so slow!” she complained. “It’ll take years to get there at this rate! What's taking you so long?”

“I don’t want to trip,” I told her as I continued to walk on what felt like my tippy toes. “How far away are we going?”

“The schoolhouse is right there,” she told me, using a leg to point in its direction. It was a small, red building, and looked to fit the definition of ‘schoolhouse’. From where we stood, it looked to be about three or four hundred yards away. “If we sprint, we could get there in, like, a minute,” she told me.

“I won’t run,” I responded. “Like I said, I don’t want to trip.”

“Well, no offense, but I’m gonna run. I’ll go down there and tell Miss Cheerilee you’re coming.” With that, she took off again, leaving me to slowly follow in her direction.

It took about ten minutes for me to catch up to her with as slow as I was going, and saw the building in full detail when I got there. It looked to be a one room building, with a large school bell on top and a small playground in the back. I thought it looked very girly, with hearts plastered all over the building and its overall red and pink color. There were also a lot of what I assumed to be kids standing around talking, all of them just as brightly colored as everything else around me. They were every color on the spectrum, from white to dark brown to brilliant blue to bright yellow. If the orange pegasus I met earlier was any indication, I’d guess they were in the seven to ten-year-old age group. I briefly considered not going, both because of the kids and the school's design, but eventually decided to play along with whatever scenario I hoped was a result of my subconscious.

“There she is!” the orange colored pegasus said to a larger, mauve colored… pony with pink hair, who I automatically assumed to be a school teacher, seeing as she was the largest person around. “That’s her!” she continued, pointing at me.

I felt myself blush at those words, embarrassed. I was uncomfortable by the use of the word 'she' to refer to me, and once again, the anxiety of this situation being real started to creep up on me. However, I forced myself to ignore it as the larger horse-creature approached me.

“Hello,” she started politely with a smile. “My name is Miss Cheerilee, and I’m the teacher of this schoolhouse. Scootaloo tells me you’re new here to Ponyville?”

She wore a smile while she said it, but I could tell she was concerned. She likely saw my slow, awkward walk up to her, and that pegasus, Scootaloo, might have told her about the fact that I was found lying on the ground. It would be an understandable reaction. Still, I decided not to be concerned about it since this wasn’t real.

“Um, yes,” I answered, all of a sudden feeling very shy. “I, um, I…”

“She said her parents weren’t ponies, so I thought it would be a good idea if she came to our class for the day!” Scootaloo interrupted. “I mean, she doesn’t even know what a cutie mark is!”

“Do your parents know you’re here?” the teacher asked me.

I debated for a second whether or not to lie to her before opting to stay neutral. “I don’t think my parents would mind that I’m here.”

I didn't like saying that. I felt like I was lying just saying those words, even though it was probably a technically true statement. Even if it wasn’t true, it wouldn’t have been the fact that I was saying something I knew to be false, it was the fact that I was intentionally misleading someone to benefit myself. Still, it might not have been wrong to say because I wasn’t trying to benefit myself at her expense, but I didn’t like the idea that I only might have not been doing something wrong.

“No,” I thought to myself. “You’re not doing anything wrong. What you tell these… horses… doesn’t matter because this isn’t real. This is just a dream.”

Miss Cheerilee looked at me skeptically for a few seconds before she spoke. “Well, you’re certainly welcome to join us for class if that’s the case,” she told me. “If you want to head inside, we’re actually getting ready to start our first lesson in a few minutes.”

She probably figured that it was better to keep me in her sights than it was to turn me loose, and she watched as I followed Scootaloo inside the building. “You can sit next to me,” the pegasus chattered excitedly as she sat down, pointing to a desk next to her. "I’ll show you my friend Sweetie Belle once she gets here!”

I was suddenly feeling like this dream was lasting a very long time. I’d never had a lucid dream before and had only been here for a few minutes, but I was suddenly feeling like this dream had been going on for too long. I quietly sat in the seat next to her as I tried to put my fears out of my head.

“Stop it,” I whispered to myself, trying to keep myself calm. “Nothing is going to happen. This isn't real.”

“So where are you from?” Scootaloo asked curiously. “It has to be really far away for somepony to not even know what a cutie mark is and to have parents who aren’t ponies!”

I decided to take the opportunity to distract myself from my worries. Before I could answer though, I heard the teacher, along with about a dozen kids, join us inside the building.

“Alright class,” Miss Cheerilee said as they sat down at their desks, “we have a new student joining us for today, and I’d like you all to give her your full attention while she tells us about herself.” She then turned to me and asked, “Would you like to come up and introduce yourself for us?”

I blushed again, once again feeling shy. “Can I introduce myself while sitting here?” I asked.

“Everypony introduces themselves at the front of the class,” she explained politely with a smile. “Why don’t you come on up?” I don’t know why, but I shook my head, and she pressed further. “All you have to do is tell us your name and where you’re from,” she encouraged.

I sighed. “This isn’t real,” I told myself as I answered, "Okay," and stood and started the trip to the front of the room. “Just play along,” I told myself silently.

I noticed her watching my footsteps as I made my way up to her. She clearly trying to see if something was wrong with them, however, she didn’t comment on it, opting instead to ask me to turn around and face the class.

“How about we start with your name?” the teacher offered.

I took a breath and closed my eyes. “My name’s Ashle... er. Asher”

I had never been more insecure about my name in my whole life. My real name is Ashley, but I’d never really thought much of it. I knew it was a popular girl's name, but where I lived, I knew more guys with the name than girls. It wasn’t something I was ever teased about and I wasn’t ever really bothered by my having the name. However, at that moment, given my current form, I was feeling very bothered and insecure by the name I was given.

She clearly thought it was a strange name, or maybe she was confused by my stumble while saying it, but she quickly moved on to the next question. “Can you tell us where you’re from?”

“Um, I’m from a big city,” I answered kind of quietly. There was a brief silence, and I added, “It’s far away.”

“How old are you, Asher?”

My fear and anxiety made itself known again at that question, and I started to feel lightheaded as my limbs started to shake. It’d been a long time since I’d been this nervous over anything. The idea of this being real was absolutely frightening. I didn't want to be a child, I didn't want to be a pony, and I didn't want to be a girl. I certainly didn't want to be all three at once.

“Are you okay?” she asked me, concerned.

“I’m fine,” I lied, speaking softly. “I just need some water.”

“Well, we have a water fountain in the back of the class, near the restroom. You can take a seat after that if you’d like.”

“Thank you.”

I found my way to the water fountain and took several swallows. It tasted clean and sweet, and I tried not to let the thought of how real it seemed add to my fear. I knew I could taste things in my dreams. It had happened to me before. It wasn’t out of the ordinary.

I took another sip of water and swished it around my mouth, closing my eyes. “This isn’t real,” I thought. “I’m going to be fine. This isn’t real. There’s no reasonable explanation for my current... form besides the fact that I’m having a lucid dream. I should relax and enjoy it, especially since I don’t know if I’ll ever have an experience like this again.” Those thoughts didn’t make me relax much, but they did help a tiny bit. At the very least, my legs stopped shaking. “God’s not dead. He’s surely alive,” I whispered again, adding "And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."

I looked at the restroom in front of me and debated whether to use it or not. If I did, either I would wake up or I would prove this was real. However, I decided not to. I didn’t need confirmation that this wasn’t real, because I knew it wasn’t. Besides, I would wet myself in real life, and that wasn’t something I was really keen on doing.

I relaxed more, convincing myself more that this was a dream, and headed back to where I was sitting.

Recess Of The Mind

I sat back in the desk next to Scootaloo, watching as Miss Cheerliee looked at me with concern. The teacher was silent for several seconds after I sat back down, her eyes firmly fixated on me, before she started to speak again.

“Okay, class. Today, we’re going to start learning more about…”

“Are your parents really not ponies?” a voice behind me asked in a whisper. I looked behind me to see a white coated unicorn staring at me. Her hair, mane, was pink and purple, and she had a high pitched voice that I thought sounded like a toddler's. She had green eyes that were genuinely curious, if not a little disbelieving, of the fact I about my parents that I told Scootaloo.

“Yes,” I whispered back to her. “My parents aren’t ponies.”

“What kind of creatures are they then?”

I shook my head and quickly looked forward, not wanting to talk about it at that moment. “I might tell you later,” I said dismissively, placing my eyes on the teacher.

“She doesn’t even know what a cutie mark is!” Scootaloo whispered to the girl loudly as I tried to hide my embarrassment by the use of the word ‘she’.

“Really? That’s crazy!”

“I know! She should totally-”

“Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle,” I heard the teacher interrupt them. “Is what you’re whispering about anything you’d like to share with the whole class?”

“Um, no,” Scootaloo got out. “Sorry, Miss Cheerilee.”

With that, the two of them went silent as the woman started back on her lesson. It was largely uneventful, and the class stayed largely quiet as she taught what was a basic math lesson. Every so often she’d call on one of them to answer a question, although she never called on me. It felt like a typical school day, and was, in a word, boring, but also a tiny bit nerve-wracking. This day felt like it was going on a lot longer than it should have been for a dream, but I tried to convince myself that it was because my dream was lucid.

It felt like a couple of hours had passed since the class started before Miss Cheerilee ended the lesson. “Alright my little ponies,” she said, “it’s time for our break. I don’t think I have to remind any of you to stay near the school and be back inside in one hour, do I?” She then looked straight at me and told me, “Asher? Would you stay back here for a little while, sweetie? Everypony else, you’re free to go.”

I let out a small breath, internally cringing at the use of the word 'sweetie' as I watched everyone else practically run out of the room. Scootaloo stayed behind a little bit longer with the pony who sat behind me and called, “You should totally hang out with me and Sweetie Belle when Miss Cheerilee lets you leave!” With that, the two quickly ran outside with the rest of the students.

I watched as the teacher made her way up to my desk and looked down at me. “So how are you enjoying our classroom so far, Asher?” she asked with a kind smile.

“It’s fine,” I answered politely. “Good.” I paused for a second, adding, "You seem like a nice teacher."

“Thank you. I'm glad you think so. I saw you made a friend in Scootaloo. She told me your parents weren’t ponies. Is that true?”

Another wave of apprehensiveness shot up through me, and I closed my eyes. I’d never been so nervous in my whole life as I was in the last few hours, but I forced myself to keep calm. I opened them again shortly afterward, answering, “Yes, that’s true.”

She still had a smile on her face when I opened my eyes again, but she seemed more concerned. However, she still tried to continue to talk to me in the same cheery tone. "That's interesting. What kind of creatures are they?"

I could feel my apprehension turning into discomfort. "I'd really rather not talk about it right now," I told her.

"Oh, I'm sorry," she said sheepishly, wearing an apologetic smile. "Can I ask about how you moved here, though?"

I felt like she was trying to figure out something about me, which wasn't surprising. She was an adult, I was a child. Scootaloo probably told her about me, she saw me walk awkwardly, and I probably looked to her like I was going to be sick earlier. She'd naturally be concerned.

"Well, I'm not moving here. I'm only going to be here for a little while."

"Oh, okay. Can I ask how long?"

"I don't know. Probably only a day, then I'm going back home."

"I see. Can you tell me where home is? I mean, where is your family staying while you’re here?”

My words trailed off. “Um, well I…”

“Yes?” she asked, her smile dropping, the concern she had for me showing itself.

I don’t know why I was feeling the need to lie to her. This wasn’t real. Whether or not I told the truth wouldn’t affect anything. Still, I decided to be vague, and said, “I don’t really know.” I saw the look on her face, and quickly added, “But I’m sure I’ll be fine.”

This time, she trailed off. “I see…” She gave me a blank stare for several seconds, before continuing. “Well, if there’s anything you need while you’re here in Ponyville, please don’t be afraid to ask, okay?”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” I answered, noncommittal.

With that, she put her smile back on. “You can head outside for break now. I’m sure Scootaloo and her friend Sweetie Belle are waiting for you.”

Cheerilee watched as the filly slowly and clumsily made her way out the door. She didn’t know what to make of Asher. It was already odd that she said her parents weren’t ponies. Combine that with the trouble the filly seemed like she had with walking, along with the fact that Scootaloo told her she was lying on the ground when she found her, and she was understandably concerned. The fact that she stumbled in her words when introducing herself as though she was hiding something didn’t help matters. It was worrying, and Cheerilee couldn’t help but think that she was running away, or that she was in an accident, or that some other horrible thing was happening.

The teacher had a general grasp on what she should do right now, but had no idea how to go about it. She knew in theory. She’d been trained on what to do, but she’d never actually faced the situation in real life. She knew she had to keep the filly from becoming suspicious and from wandering off…

And she’d just sent her outside! Cheerilee quickly rushed out of the building to see that, much to her relief, Asher was standing and talking to Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle. Or rather, the two were talking to her while the filly listened quietly. The teacher sighed in relief, taking the opportunity to get the class’s attention.

“Excuse me? Everypony?” The whole class quickly put her attention on her, and she continued. “I know I said you all could go outside for recess, but I have something I need to take care of, and I really need you all to stay in the classroom.” She heard several cries of disappointment, and added, “To make up for it, we’ll make this break extra long okay? Now I need you all to head inside. Nopony is allowed to leave until I get back, understand?”

“Tell us what kind of creatures your parents are!” Scootaloo told me excitedly as the three of us sat back down inside. “We really want to know!”

Before I could say anything though, we were interrupted by a mean sounding voice. “Why are you two talking to the new girl?” another girl’s voice asked condescendingly. I turned and saw not one, but two girls marching up to me. One of them had a silver coat like mine and light grey hair with glasses, along with a necklace of pearls. The other one had a pink coat and hair that was purple and white, with a tiara worn on top of her head. They both sent a look my way that suggested they didn’t like me

“She acts weird and walks funny.” the pink one said to them. “Why would you ever want to hang out with her?”

“Hey, leave her alone, Diamond Tiara!” Scootaloo’s friend, Sweetie Belle, let out in a very squeaky voice. “She’s not doing anything to you!”

“Yes she did!” the girl, Diamond Tiara, argued. “She's making us stay inside for recess! A new pony shows up, and all of a sudden we can't be outside? It’s obviously her fault we’re in here!”

“It’s not her fault she’s new in town!”

“She talks weird, she walks weird, she had a weird name, and she said her parents aren’t even ponies. I knew you two were losers, but why would you ever hang out with someone like her?”

“Stop being a bully, Diamond! Those things aren’t her fault!”

I found Scootaloo agreeing with her that I was weird to be an interesting way to try and defend someone, but I didn’t let it get under my skin. They were kids and they were trying to defend me. Besides, even if they weren’t, this was a dream so it didn’t matter.

“She’s the one who caused us to have recess inside!” Diamond Tiara said defensively.

“She didn’t mean to! That’s no reason to bully her!”

“We don’t even know who she is!”

“You would if you would’ve asked her!”

I didn’t care about being considered weird, but even if this was a dream, I really didn’t like the idea of kids fighting because of me. I wanted to put a stop to it. “I’m sorry I made you stay inside,” I apologized, “but I’d really rather not have you guys fighting because of me.” I wanted what I said to sound assertive, but this… voice made it seem shyer than I was intending.

The girl with the tiara stared at me for several seconds before responding. “Whatever,” she humphed. “Hang out with her. It just proves what losers you both are. Come on, Silver Spoon.” With that, the two left, Scootaloo rolling her eyes as they walked away haughtily.

“I can’t stand those two!” Scootaloo quietly seethed as the three of us watched them leave. “They pick on us every day!”

“Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon are the worst!” Sweetie Belle agreed.

“You can, ah, just try ignoring them,” I offered, feeling uncomfortable about the whole situation. I quickly tried to change the subject, saying, “You never told me what a cutie mark is.”

“I still don’t understand how you don’t know what that is,” the pegasus told me, not nearly as excited or happy sounding as she was before. “I mean, even if your parents aren’t ponies, you have to have heard about it at some point, right?”

“No, I can’t say I ever have,” I told the two of them innocently.

“It’s a mark you get when you discover your special talent!” the unicorn told me.

“It’s what makes you different from everypony else!” Scootaloo added.

I thought that was interesting, and briefly wondered what my special talent would be if the dream I was having was real. I was working on my business degree, and was the manager of a restaurant, but didn’t know if those things counted as ‘special talents’. I was religious, but nowhere near qualified to be a priest or any sort of thought leader. Honestly, I could have been a bit more up-to-date with my knowledge of the Bible. I wasn’t super smart or physically gifted, and honestly struggled to come up with something that I was better than average at. However, I put that depressing thought out of my head. It didn’t matter what ‘special talent’ I might have because this wasn’t real.

“None of us have ours yet, though,” the pegasus continued. “We’re all still blank flanks.”

“Blank flanks?”

“That’s where a pony gets their cutie mark, on their flank,” Sweetie Belle said, pointing to her side, near her butt. She then gave me a puzzled expression, asking, “Have you never seen a pony with a cutie mark before?”

“I’ve never seen any other ponies before,” I told them. At least, I didn’t ever see ponies like them.

“What! Did you even live in Equestria?” I debated asking what that was, but decided to simply assume that was where this dream was taking place, and answered with a no. “What kind of pony are you?” Scootaloo asked me.

I shrugged, not quite wanting to say I wasn't a pony yet. “No offense,” the other one told me, “but Diamond Tiara was right. You really are weird.”

I shrugged again, simply saying, “I guess.”

“You never told us about your parents,” Scootaloo said.

“Yeah, tell us what your family’s like!” Sweetie Belle added.

“Well, I mean,” I started as I thought about them. “They’re pretty normal, I think.”

At least, I thought they were normal enough. I still lived with them as an only child in Delaware while I was finishing school, and thought that they were good enough parents. I loved them, and they loved me, but we disagreed on quite a lot. Normally, from my experience, it was the parents who were religious conservatives and the child who was atheist, but in my case, it was the other way around. There were very few points I could safely say we agreed on, and I mostly tried to avoid talking to them about things like that.

I contrasted well against a lot of the people I knew. If I had to label myself, I’d say that I was a “moderately religious” person. I went to church every Sunday. I was baptized and took Confirmation as a Lutheran. I prayed before every meal and celebrated major religious holidays and all that jazz. Outside of church, though, I mostly didn’t talk about my faith, and never discussed politics. I really didn’t like making people angry, and knew it was one of those things where, if it was brought up, people would argue. A little bit also had to do with the image I knew I would give off by talking about my beliefs, and the tiny bit of shame that would come with it. I knew I shouldn’t have been ashamed to discuss it, but it was the feeling I got, and I felt ashamed for feeling ashamed of talking about it. Because of that, I decided to simply avoid the feedback loop by changing the subject whenever it was brought up.

“What kind of creatures are they?” Scootaloo asked.

“Humans,” I said simply. I didn't want to say that I was a human yet, but had no issue with saying that my parents were. Not that they knew what a human was. The two of them gave me a blank stare like they didn’t understand, so I decided to elaborate.

“Um, well, start by imagining a… pony,” I explained. “Except without a tail or fur, and very tall. Oh, and they only use two legs to walk, and have hands instead of hooves. That’s basically what a human is.”

I received another blank stare from them for a few seconds before one of them asked, “And you’ve never seen another pony ever?”

“Nothing like you all, no.”

“That’s so weird!” she announced. “Were all your friends hu… hoom… uh, those things, too?”

By now, a few other students had come over and started to listen in curiously on what I told them. It once again brought back my unease, and that sneaking suspicion that this wasn’t a dream tried to work itself upon me again. I started to feel a bit nauseous from the conversation, despite being okay just a few seconds ago. I didn't know what it was, but, for some reason, I didn't like the direction this conversation was headed in.

“Are you alright?” Scootaloo asked. “You look a little sick.”

“I’m fine,” I answered. “I just- I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”

The Rest Of Class

The rest of the break we had I thought was fairly boring, it being spent playing a class sized game of 'Duck Duck Goose'. Or rather, they played while I watched, seeing as I lacked any sense of coordination at that point. Everyone else besides Diamond Tiara and her friend participated, the two seeming content to talk to each other and occasionally glance at me angrily. It went on for a while before Miss Cheerilee finally returned from whatever it was she was taking care of.

"I'm sorry I was gone for so long everypony," she apologized to us. "I had something very important I needed to do. I trust that you were all well behaved while I was gone-"

"What did ya have ta do that was so important?" someone asked her curiously in a very thick country accent.

"Nothing that you need to be concerned about, Apple Bloom," the teacher answered as she made her way to the front of the room. “In any case, let’s get started on reading and writing. I’ll keep this portion of class a bit short to make sure we get out on time. If everypony could get out his and her notebook and pencil, please?”

I copied Scootaloo and used my nose to open my desk, finding nothing inside. That was to be expected though, considering I was supposed to be a new student in this dream. I looked up and watched as Miss Cheerilee used her mouth to take a notebook and pencil from her own desk and headed over to me.

“Here you are, Asher,” she told me kindly, setting the materials in front of me. “I know you told me that you’d only be here for today, but I thought I’d let you have a whole notebook just in case.”

I decided to ignore the implication of her words, knowing it would just make me nervous for no reason, especially considering this wasn’t real. Instead, I watched as she went back to the front of the class, turning and facing us to say, “We’ll keep our lesson easy and just have a writing prompt for today.”

With that, she used her mouth to pick up a piece of chalk and write something on the board, and said once she was finished, “I want you all to write a one-page story based on this sentence.”

I couldn’t help but feel my skin, my coat, prickle up and my mouth go dry at what was written on the chalkboard. Or rather, at what wasn’t written. I couldn’t make out the squiggles that were written in the place of letters. I didn’t understand what was going on; I’d watched her write numbers and math symbols on the board during the last lesson and could read them perfectly. Whatever she wrote on the board should have been just as understandable. The fact that it wasn't brought back the nervousness I'd been feeling the last few hours.

I realized that the nervousness I’d been feeling all morning could be much better described as a creeping sense of dread, and not knowing what was written on the board only added to it. I really didn't want this to be real. I didn't want to be this... animal. The thought of being an animal was extremely scary, to the point where I had to force my legs not to shake. I tried to keep myself calm, though, and pushed everything being an animal might mean out of my mind. I would deal with that when it came to that, if it came to that, which it wouldn't because this was just a dream.

“Lord, please just let this be a dream,” I whispered, nearly inaudible, closing my eyes as I did so. “Please, when the morning comes, let me wake up safely in my bed. I ask-”

“What are you whispering about?” the orange pegasus next to me interrupted curiously.

I opened my eyes again to see her staring intently at me. “Um, it’s nothing,” I told her, giving an embarrassed cough. “Can you tell me what the teacher wrote?” I asked quickly.

“You can’t read what Miss Cheerilee wrote?” I shook my head, and she started, “It says we have to start our story with-”

“Scootaloo,” the teacher called out flatly. “I hope there’s a good reason you’re whispering during class again.”

“I was just helping Asher with the assignment, Miss Cheerilee,” Scootaloo explained. “She said she couldn’t read what the board said.”

That was another thing that was really starting to bother me. I was getting intensely uncomfortable with the use of the word ‘she’ to refer to me. It made my skin prickle more, but I forced myself to ignore it as the teacher started to speak to me.

“Is that true, Asher?” she asked, seeming like she wanted to add more onto her question.

She watched me carefully as I debated my response. I had a feeling I knew what she was thinking. She didn’t look at me like I was in trouble, she looked at me like she was concerned about me. I worded my statement with the same care she watched me with, and told her, "Yes. I can’t read what the board says.”

She stared at me for a little while longer, and I felt myself blush as I looked down at my desk. “Can I get another drink of water, please?” I asked, my mouth feeling even drier.

“Yes, of course,” she told me, and waited expectantly as I went to the fountain for the second time that day. I was feeling very self-conscious as she watched me walk over and take another drink. I was hating how suspicious she was of me, and wished that she had someone else to put her attention on.

“Now,” she said as I made my way back to my seat, “For those of you in the back who can’t see what’s written, it says, ‘as I opened the door, you wouldn’t believe what I saw’. As I said, I want you all to write a one-page story based on this sentence. I’ll give you all about an hour to work on it, and then we’ll be done with class for today.”

Cheerilee tried to use lesson planning for the next day to distract herself from how inadequate of a solution she had for the filly. It wasn’t good, but it was the best she could come up with on extremely short notice. Of course, she might not have needed to do anything. Cheerilee might simply have been overreacting, and preferred to think so. However, despite what she hoped, she knew she had to prepare for the worst. For now, though, she tried to put the thought out of her head and focused on creating her lesson plan. Or, she tried at least. Thinking about tomorrow simply made her more concerned about what she should do and how she should handle Asher.

Eventually, to try and put those thoughts out of her head, the teacher got up from her desk and started to walk around the classroom to view the current progress of each student’s work. She went row by row, working her way front to back, taking a little while before getting to Asher. Unlike the other students, several of whom were already a quarter to halfway done as Cheerilee passed them by, she was sitting there staring at her pencil, her page notably blank, seeming like she had no idea what to do.

“Asher?” she asked. “Are you okay, sweetie?”

The teacher watched her flinch a tiny bit at her voice. “Yes. I’m fine,” she answered quietly without looking up. “I’m just thinking. I’m sorry.”

“You’re okay. I just hope I can see what you can come up with before you leave us.” Asher didn’t respond to that, and simply kept on staring at her pencil. The teacher waited silently next to her for a few seconds, seeing if she would start to write something. When she didn’t, Cheerilee started to speak again.

“You know, I’m sure if you wrote down the first sentence, you’d start to come up with something.”

“Um, I’m fine,” she responded shyly. “I- I’m sure I’ll think of something.” She gazed up at the teacher, and then quickly looked back down, slightly embarrassed. “I can’t write when people are watching me,” she added.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Cheerilee smiled sweetly. “I’ll leave you alone now.”

The teacher walked on to see what the next few students had written, waiting a few minutes before glancing at the filly again. She didn’t know how she should feel as she watched her use her mouth to shakily copy down what was written on the board. It honestly looked like she’d never written anything in her whole life, seeing how slowly she was going and how she glanced back up at the board every few seconds in an effort to imitate what was written.

“Of course, it could just be that she’s not feeling well,” Cheelilee thought to herself. “She does seem a little sick. Besides, you remember what you thought about Scootaloo, right? You’re probably overreacting. You’re just concerned because she’s new.”

I didn’t even bother trying to write with the hoof I now possessed, opting instead to pick up the pencil with my mouth like most of the rest of the class had done. I tried to ignore the fact that Miss Cheerilee had also picked it up with her mouth when she gave it to me as I very carefully started to copy down what she wrote on the board. It took a few minutes for me to even figure out how to press down hard enough in the notebook to get something written, and even then, they were still only just dark enough for me to see. After that, I started to copy the words, the squiggles, she wrote on the board, but I wasn’t able to get more than three-quarters of the way through the sentence before Miss Cheerilee called the class’s attention again.

“Okay, class. I know we haven’t had much time to work on our stories, but it looks like it’s almost time for lunch. I’ll have you all finish up what you were writing tomorrow. For now though, you can all put your notebooks away and I’ll let you be dismissed.”

I’d never seen a group of kids leave a school so quickly. In the blink of an eye, there were only four of us left in the building, although I let it how quickly they left be a sign that this wasn't real. Although, it was weird to know that it was only lunchtime. It felt like a whole day had gone by in the span of a few hours. I decided to be ignorant and simply say it was because of the dream I was having as well.

“You should come and eat lunch with me and Sweetie Belle, Asher!” Scootaloo told me. “Then we can tell you more about cutie marks and stuff. I mean, if your parents don’t care.”

“I don’t think they’ll care,” I started, “but I’m not sure-”

“Oh, you should totally let us meet your parents!” Sweetie Belle got out in a high pitched voice. “I wanna see what they look like!”

“If it’s not a problem, I’d really like to meet them, too,” Miss Cheerilee told me, suddenly appearing next to us. She was once again wearing a smile, one that I’d come to know well in just a few hours. It was that same kind smile that let me clearly see how concerned she was despite her attempt to hide it.

“Um, I’m not sure if you can,” I told the three of them.

“Why not?” Miss Cheerilee pressed in a voice that blended curiosity, suspicion, and worry.

I'd never been so apprehensive in my whole life as I'd been in the last few hours since I got there. I decided that I needed to verbalize the reality of the situation. “Well, uh…” I started nervously.

"Yes?" Miss Cheerilee asked, tilting her head slightly.

I swallowed and said, “You won’t be able to because this is just a dream. This isn’t real, so...”

The three looked at me with expressions that asked me if I was being serious, the teacher herself raising an eyebrow. I looked back down at my desk and quickly said, “That- that was a joke.”

Author's Notes:

You can let me know if the pacing of this story is too slow

Lofty Dreams And Apparent Holidays

“Aunt Holiday! Auntie Lofty!” Scootaloo called just as the four of us made our way out of the building. I watched her quickly run up to two… ponies and ask, “What are you two doing here?”

I watched two of them, one a pegasus and the other a normal pony, smile and make their way up to her. The latter looked like she was a bit on the heavier side, with red hair and a red-tinted, off-white colored coat. The former looked like she was a bit older than her companion and on the thinner side, with a cream-colored coat and short blue hair. I saw that she was also wearing a sweater, which I found… odd to say the least. No one else was wearing clothes, so it stuck out to me. It also made me a tiny bit self conscious at my lack of clothing, but I pushed that feeling away, telling myself that it didn’t matter because this was a dream.

“What, are we not allowed to pick our favorite niece up from school?” the one with the sweater asked with a light laugh.

“I’m your only niece,” Scootaloo laughed back. “And you don’t need to pick me up from school. You guys haven’t before.”

“Well, if you’re so certain about us not picking you up,” the pegasus continued playfully, “I guess me and Aunt Holiday can just go to Sugarcube corner by ourselves…”

“I- I just said you don’t have to pick me up,” the orange pegasus backtracked quickly. “But I mean, you can if you want.”

“Well, why don’t we head on over now then?” the other pony, Holiday I learned, responded with a kind smile in a very heavy British accent.

“Oh! Oh!” Scootaloo started excitedly. “Can my friends come, too?” she asked.

“Sure they can come,” Holiday said. She then turned to us two, telling us, “It just needs to be okay with your guardians, Sweetie Belle and…”

She took a few steps closer to me and squinted, inspecting me. “I don’t think I’ve seen you with Scootaloo,” she commented. “What’s your name, little filly?”

Something about the way she said that made an unwanted connotation pop into my head. I very much got the impression that her calling me ‘little filly’ was the equivalent of her calling me ‘little girl’, the knowledge of which made me blush hard. I looked back to the teacher for a second only to see her smile and nod at me.

“Aww, shy are we?” the woman continued as I stared at the ground, still blushing.

“That’s Asher,” Scootaloo told her, introducing me. “She’s new in Ponyville.”

“She said her parents aren’t ponies!” Sweetie Belle added.

“That’s very interesting,” she said politely, in a way that was meant to sound surprising, but gave me the impression she’d already been told this. “If your parents don’t mind, you can come and eat with us if you’d like.”

I knew I should just go along with it since this was just a dream. However, I found myself wavering at the prospect. I really didn’t like the idea of being a kid, and was very ill at ease with everyone using ‘she’ and ‘her’ to refer to me. I knew it shouldn’t have mattered since this wasn’t real, but I could feel it getting to me.

“Thank you, but I’d really rather not,” I said shyly, still looking at the ground.

“Oh, is it your parents?” she asked. “Do they need you back home?”

“It’s not them. It’s just…” I started, trailing off. I was feeling extremely paranoid. I knew she was trying to bait me into going by asking about my parents. I didn’t know why I was concerned though. It wasn’t like any of this was real. But that feeling of paranoia remained.

“If your parents don’t mind,” the teacher interjected, “then you should go with them. I think it would be fun, and you could get to spend more time with Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle.” She then gasped as if something occurred to her and said, “You know what would be really fun? If you had a sleepover with Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle! Don’t you think that would be fun, Asher? I’m sure Miss Holiday and Miss Lofty wouldn’t mind.”

I didn’t think it was possible for me to blush harder. I was hating this feeling of being treated like a little girl. I also realized immediately that setting up this situation was what Miss Cheerilee was doing while she was out “taking care of something”. I was probably giving off the vibe of some kid who was homeless or who ran away. She probably wanted to make sure I was safe, and this was her way of doing that.

Before I could protest though, Holiday spoke up. “Lofty and I think it’s a wonderful idea, Miss Cheerilee,” she said in a way that confirmed that this was a preplanned arrangement. “What do you say, Scootaloo?”

“Yeah!” she answered. “The three of us should totally have a sleepover! Right, Sweetie Belle?”

“Yeah! I’m sure my sister, Rarity, won’t mind!”

With that, the group’s eyes turned to me. I was still looking at the ground when Scootaloo spoke. “Come on! It’ll be fun! We can play games and eat snacks and tell stories…”

“Plus, we can teach you about ponies since you said you've never seen anypony else!”

“Yeah!”

I rubbed my hoof behind my leg and exhaled. “I- I don’t know,” I stammered in a whisper. I really didn’t know how I felt about having a sleepover with children, especially little girls, and the idea made me apprehensive. “I really don’t know,” I continued, embarrassed.

“I really think you should go,” Miss Cheerilee told me, looking down at me with an almost sad smile. “I think it would be a lot of fun if you girls had a sleepover together. You could eat some Ponyville food, sleep in a nice, warm bed, and then go home with your parents tomorrow.”

I did my very best to ignore my intense embarrassment at continuously being called a girl and my irrational paranoia at her clearly thinking I was homeless as I closed my eyes. “Just go along with it,” I told myself. “This dream should end soon. At the very least, the day is halfway over, so it’s just another half a day of this at most. Then you’ll wake up at home in bed and forget all about this a few minutes after that.”

“Okay,” I said quietly. “I… I’ll go.”

“Yay!” Scootaloo cheered. “This is gonna be so much fun!”

“Lord,” I silently prayed, “If it’s in your will, please let this dream end by the end of the day. Please don’t let this be real. I ask that you wake me up in my home after I fall asleep.”

The walk over to the restaurant took a little while because of how slowly I was going. The two girls urged me to go faster, enthusiastically telling me about how good the place we were going to was.

“Sugarcube corner is the best restaurant in Ponyville!” Sweetie Belle squeaked. “They have cakes and pies and cookies and ice cream-”

“It’s really good! You’re going to love it!”

“If we ever get there! You’re walking soooo slowly!”

“Um, I don’t want to trip,” I said, looking at my feet, my hooves. “I’m sorry,” I continued.

“I’m sure there’s still going to be treats for us at Sugarcube corner when we get there,” Holiday chuckled. “Let’s let Asher walk at her own pace.” She went silent for a few seconds, then continued, “Actually, why don’t you two run along ahead of us. Lofty, could you go with them?”

“Not a problem,” she told her, and I watched her give her a quick kiss before heading off with them.

I immediately grimaced and felt my cheeks go red at the sight. I felt very bothered by the site for multiple reasons. Part of it was my extreme dislike at what they were doing, and part of it was my own insecurity that their kiss brought me. However, I forced those unpleasant thoughts out of my head. First of all, I wasn’t like that. Plain and simple. Second, being gay wasn’t wrong, the actual act itself was what was wrong. And even if it wasn’t just the act itself that was wrong, this was an animal and animals don’t have to follow the ten commandments. And even if they did, this was a dream, so none of what she did actually mattered.

"How are you feeling, Asher?"

“Oh, why am I so horrible?” I thought. “It’s not like I… ugh. Unless you’re going to say something, stop judging her. You don't get to judge people. Only God gets to judge them. You just get to politely tell them that it's wrong, and it doesn't look like you're doing that. Besides, it’s not like you… ugh! Unless you can say you’re sinless, stop being judgemental. Unless you’re going to speak up and say something to her, stop thinking about it. This isn’t real, and even if it was, it’s not like you can say you’re any… ugh, I hate myself!”

“Asher, are you okay?” Holiday asked me.

I looked back up at her and saw that she had a concerned look on her face. I realized then that I had stopped walking and was clenching my teeth to their breaking point. I took a breath to try and relax myself, responding, “Yes, I’m fine. I’m sorry.”

“Well, why don’t we keep going and meet up with Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle, okay?” she told me in her thick British accent. “I’m sure they’re waiting for us at Sugarcube Corner already.”

With that, we started our slow progress once again. We were quiet for a few minutes before a building that looked a lot like a gingerbread house started to enter our view. As well, about that time was when she started to try and engage me.

“How are you liking it in Ponyville so far, Asher?” she asked. “I know Miss Cheerilee told me you just got here, but I hope you’re enjoying it so far.”

“It’s good,” I told her simply, staring at my hooves as I walked, making sure that I didn’t trip.

“That’s good. I hope Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle are treating you well. I know you girls will have a lot of fun sleeping over tonight.” She paused, and I could almost feel her smiling at me while I still looked at the ground as she continued. “Speaking of which, how are your parents? Miss Cheerilee told me that they aren’t ponies.”

“Yes, that’s true.”

“That’s interesting. Are they here for the Summer Sun Celebration?”

“I- I don’t know what that is.”

“Ah, okay. I guess it is still a bit early for that. Can I ask what kind of creatures they are?” she asked.

“Well, um, they’re tall…” I started before changing my mind. “Actually,” I told her, “I don’t want to talk about it.” I loved my parents, I really did, but I preferred not to think about them when I could because of how different we were from each other.

“Are you sure they’ll be okay with you staying over tonight?” she questioned. “I know you told us they wouldn’t care, but maybe we can talk to them just to be sure.”

“It’s- that’s fine,” I got out. “You don’t need to do that. They won’t care.” There was a brief period of silence before I chuckled nervously.

“Are you sure?” she asked. “If there’s something wrong, you can tell us.”

For a moment, I considered expanding on what I started to tell the rest of them back in the classroom, but decided against it. I didn’t need more of the crazy looks they gave me back there, and it wouldn't change anything anyway. This dream would end when it would end, and that would be that. Whether or not I told her wouldn’t affect that.

She stared silently back at me for a little while as we walked before commenting. “Well, as long as your parents aren’t concerned, then there shouldn’t be an issue.”

I didn’t want to mislead her. I really hated misleading her. I knew that she was concerned about me and that my concern about what she thought was irrational since this wasn’t real, but I was feeling paranoid anyway. I really didn’t want this to be real, and didn’t know what I would do if it was.

“You guys took forever to get here,” Scootaloo said to me, her mouth filled with brownies. “I honestly started to think that maybe you died.”

“We saved you some food though,” Sweetie Belle added.

“We didn’t know what you wanted, so we got you some muffins.”

“Chocolate chip!”

“Um, thank you,” I told the two politely as I stared at the plate of half a dozen muffins. “I don’t mean to be rude, but is there anything else?” I asked.

“What, you don’t like muffins?” Lofty asked me, sounding a bit confused.

“I do,” I explained, “but I was just… expecting something different… I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize,” she told me. “What do you want to eat?”

“Well, are there any more… lunch-type foods? I’m just not that big a fan of desserts...”

"Oh, well, they don't really serve "lunch" food here... but we can eat someplace else if you'd like," she offered.

"Oh, no, you don't need to do that," I backtracked. "Muffins are fine. Thank you though, uh, Miss Lofty."

"We'll take some if you don't want them," Scootaloo said. I heard Holiday clear her throat and saw her give the girl a look, and she continued, "If you want to share, I mean."

"Sure, you can both have one if you want," I told them. I watched them each excitedly take one, then closed my eyes and whispered an almost inaudible prayer over my food.

"Our Father in heaven, the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Israel, we come before you to thank you for the food you've provided for us to eat. Please bless this food for the nourishment of our body through your loving Son. In Christ Jesus's name we pray, amen."

I reopened my eyes to see four sets of eyes casting weird stares at me, and immediately felt very self-conscious. I'd whispered prayers in public before, and never received stares from people because of it. I was feeling very uneasy right then from their looks.

"Uhhhh... what were you doing?" Sweetie Belle asked me curiously.

For some reason, I felt myself tense up, as though I was doing something wrong. "What do you mean?" I asked back.

"You had your eyes closed and were whispering something."

"Yeah, you did that in class, too," Scootaloo

I felt very on the spot at that moment and very uncomfortable. "Well, um, I was just..."

“OH MY GOSH!” someone suddenly yelled, startling me. The next thing I knew, I was face to face with a bright pink mare with blue eyes and a very creepy smile. I fell out of my chair and onto my back in surprise at her sight.

“I’ve never seen you in Ponyville before! What’s your name? Where are you from? Do you have any friends yet? How old are you?”

On and on she went, asking another question before I even had a chance to answer the previous. Someone coming up like this would normally startle me, but with how sudden it happened, it had me frightened to the point where I almost peed myself like a little kid. Almost. I luckily wasn’t a little kid and had enough self control to not do that. As much as I was disliking this dream, I would have really disliked wetting the bed in real life. Still, though, the pink pony was freaking me out.

“Oh! I know!” she said as she hopped up and down like a rabbit, something that shouldn’t have been possible for her to do. “I should throw you a ‘Welcome to Ponyville’ surprise party! Don’t you think that’s a good idea? Huh?”

Suddenly, her face was against mine, our noses touching. She looked at me like she was waiting for an answer, and I stared back at her wide eyed at the unexpected gesture. I didn’t know who she was, but she was entirely too close for comfort.

"Uh, Pinkie?" Scootaloo said as I started to back away, speechless. "I think you're scaring her."

"I'm sorry!" The pink horse giggled. "I just get so excited to meet somepony new!" Then, she gasped again, saying, "I just got the perfect idea for the surprise party I'm going to throw for you! You're going to have so much fun! I have to get to work!" With that, she ran off, disappearing again.

“Uhhhh, what was that?” I asked, still laying on the ground, still a bit startled by what had happened.

"That was Pinkie being Pinkie," Lofty told me with a light laugh. "Meeting somepony new is like a holiday to her."

“Oh, don’t mind her,” Holiday said. “Pinkie Pie's a very nice mare. She just gets a little over-excited sometimes She does that to everypony she meets.”

“She throws a party for every new pony in Ponyville,” Scootaloo added. “She won’t let you leave without one.”

Author's Notes:

Side note: Outside of Starlight, Aunt Holiday is the best pony in all of existence

Too Old For Little Girls

“Okay, so the filly is staying with us tonight,” Lofty said as she, Cheerilee, and Mayor Mare sat in an office in the Town Hall. “What are we going to do with her tomorrow?”

“Well,” Cheerilee started, “I was thinking that I would cancel class for my older students to try and talk to her tomorrow. I know it would be better to get to her today, but she just seems so timid and sensitive, and I don’t want to make her scared.”

“Word should be arriving soon to nearby cities with her description to see if anypony is missing her,” Mayor Mare commented. “Although I have to ask: do you really believe her when she says her parents aren’t ponies?”

“Well… I’m not sure,” the teacher answered. “It seems unlikely since she told me she’d only be here for one day and we haven’t seen any other creature here, but I’m not entirely sure. She seemed uncomfortable talking about it, and it didn’t sound to me like she was lying.”

“Not to mention, Scootaloo and her friend said they wanted to teach her about ponies,” Lofty added.

“Of course, we would have noticed creatures who aren’t ponies wandering around Ponyville, don’t you think?” Mayor Mare spoke up.

“Well, I’m not sure how truthful she’s being when she says those things. She might just not want to go back to her parents for whatever reason. Of course, all of this could just be a big misunderstanding and she could be telling the complete truth.”

“Okay, what do we do if she’s not telling the truth?”

“Well, like I said,” Cheerilee told them, “I’ll talk to her tomorrow, and we can have her stay with you, Lofty, for the time being. Actually, even if she’s being truthful, we might see if she can’t stay with you and Holiday, at least for a couple of days. There are some other things about her that have me a little bit concerned.”

“Okay, bear in mind that if she ends up staying long term, Scootaloo’s parents should be back just after the Summer Sun Celebration, so she won't be able to stay with Holiday and I much after that.”

“Oh, I’m sure that won’t be an issue,” Cheerilee told her. “There're plenty of adults in Ponyville Asher can stay with when we get to that point.”

“If we get to that point,” Mayor Mare corrected. “It’s still possible that we’re overreacting to her being new, and getting overly concerned for no reason… although I guess it is better to be overly concerned than it is to be under concerned.”

“I really hope we’re being overly concerned about her,” Cheeilee said, then silently thought, "I really hope I'm being overly concerned about her."

Everything about this situation was making me uncomfortable. I really, really, really didn’t like the idea of having a sleepover with little girls, the idea of which only being made worse by the fact that I was a little girl myself. I was almost afraid of the situation I was in, and had to force myself not to hyperventilate as I followed the group into Scootaloo’s house. I was feeling extremely nervous, and I tried to put those feelings out of my head by telling myself that this wasn’t real for what had to have been the twentieth time that day.

“Just get to the end of the day,” I thought to myself. “Once you go to sleep, you’ll wake up at home and this will be over. Just get to the end of the day.”

The house we entered into was kind of old-timey looking. With pale blue walls that had random knick-knacks hanging up on them and a sewing machine sitting on a table in what looked to be a dining room, it gave me the impression that this was an older person’s home, and was what I would have expected to find in someone’s grandmother’s house.

“Why don’t you show your friends to your room, Scoot?” Holiday told the pegasus. “Help them get situated and such before you guys get to doing whatever you’re going to do for the afternoon?”

“Okay!” the girl said excitedly. “Follow me!”

I followed the two of them up a set of stairs and into what I assumed to be Scootaloo’s room. It had pink walls and toys on the ground, which contrasted against posters of a blue pony with rainbow-colored hair and a skateboard and scooter leaning against one of the dressers. It looked to me like a crossover between a bedroom for a little girl and a preteen, and I got the feeling that she was sort of a tomboy. Taking another look around though, a concerning question quickly came to mind.

“Where are we going to sleep?” I asked.

Scootaloo laughed at that like it was the most obvious answer in the world. “On the bed, of course! Where else would you two sleep?” At that response, I felt a wave of anxiety and nauseousness wash over me as Sweetie Belle laughed along with her.

“I- I’m not sure I’m okay with that,” I said shyly as I looked down at the ground, embarrassed.

“Why? I’m pretty sure there’s enough room for both of you…”

“Plus, we can snuggle!” Sweetie Belle added. I felt another wave of anxiety come over me as I tried to respond to that suggestion.

“I- I really, really don’t want to do that,” I stammered out, blushing hard at the idea of being snuggled by her. I absolutely did not want to snuggle with them, and found myself wishing I would wake up before the time came to go to sleep. “I’d rather not sleep in the same room, honestly,” I continued.

There was a brief pause before Scootaloo asked, “Do you not like us?” The two of them looked hurt by what I said, and I tried to explain myself to them.

“Well,” I started, “I mean, I’m actually a boy, so…”

Their hurt expressions were quickly replaced by looks of confusion at that suggestion. “You’re a boy?” Scootaloo asked skeptically.

“Um, yes,” I whispered, feeling my already warm cheeks get hotter. “I’m a boy.”

Before I could stop her, I saw Sweetie Belle was getting behind me and tilting her head to look under me. “You don’t look like a colt,” she said.

“Don’t look at me!” I told her, almost yelling as I crossed my legs, completely embarrassed and slightly ashamed. “Please don’t do that!” I said as I subconsciously tucked my tail in between my legs. I’d been largely trying to ignore the fact that I was currently indecent, and she just brought it to the forefront. Right then, I’d never felt so anxious and embarrassed in my whole life.

“Don’t do what?” Sweetie Belle asked me innocently.

“Don’t… just don't... nothing. Never mind.” I got out, trying to get off the subject. “I’m not a girl, okay?”

“Then what are you? Cause you don’t look like a colt to me.”

“I’m a boy who’s-” I started to say, then suddenly stopped. I knew exactly what I was about to say and felt ashamed of myself because of it. I’m a boy who’s inside a girl’s body. If I’d been told that by someone even yesterday, I wouldn’t have taken them seriously. I wouldn’t have been mean to them or said anything, but I would have gone out of my way to make sure I wasn’t around them, and might have laughed at them behind closed doors. Internally, I would have simply said, ‘You’re a girl in a girl’s body’ and completely dismissed them. Right now though, I was cringing at myself for thinking that before.

“No, it’s not the same,” I thought. “This is different. You’re actually a boy. They’re not… You’re not actually... Oh, why am I so horrible?”

“A boy who’s what?” Scootaloo asked, curious about what I was going to tell her.

“Nothing,” I told her. “I have to go to the bathroom.”

Asher gazed into the mirror in the bathroom.

What she saw was a pony, a filly, with a bright silver coat, long golden hair, and light blue eyes. It made her think of Christmas colors, ruined only by the fact that her eyes weren’t green. Despite having no clue what the beauty standards in Equestria were, she guessed she looked nice enough. With her small size and large puppy dog eyes, she might go as far as to say she was cute. It didn’t change the fact that she absolutely hated her appearance, however.

“This is real, isn’t it?” Asher whispered as she looked herself in the eye. She couldn’t stand looking at the girl she saw. Despite being a pony, what she saw in the mirror looked distinctly feminine to her, as well as to the ponies around her. She clenched her jaw at the sight of herself, starting to tear up for the second time that day.

She closed her eyes and started to speak again. “Please don’t let this be real,” she said aloud quietly. “Please just let me wake up at home in my bed when I open my eyes.” When she did open her eyes again however, all she saw was the same silver-coated filly in the mirror.

“This isn’t real,” Asher told herself, trying to fight back the urge to start crying. “This can’t be real. There’s no way this is real.” She watched the filly in the mirror copy her shaking legs and trembling lips. Seeing the mirror copy her movements only added to the sense of dread she was already feeling.

“Why is this happening to me?” she asked no one as her tears hit the floor. “I don't want to be here. I don’t want to be a girl.” That’s what was getting to her the most. She felt like she could deal with being away from home, with being a pony, and with being a child. It was being a girl that was getting to her, and she quietly sobbed at the idea of being one for the rest of her life.

“No, stop it,” she told herself after a few moments. “This isn’t real. There’s no way for this to be real.” She used a hoof to wipe her eyes and continued to try and calm herself down. “This isn’t real,” she said. “The only way for this to be real would be for God to have put you here, and I’m pretty sure God wouldn’t do that. So this isn’t real. This is just a dream.”

Asher took a few deep breaths and slowly let them out, trying to relax herself as she rubbed her eyes again. She was really hoping the dream she was in would end soon, but decided she could settle for waiting until the end of the day for it to end. She told herself it wouldn’t be that bad. She would just go through the motions of the dream she was in, go to sleep, and completely forget about this in the morning. Everything was going to be fine.

“I really have to pee,” the filly thought as she went towards the toilet before catching herself. “Wait, I can't do that.” she said to herself. “I don’t want to pee in real life.”

That was partly true. She didn’t want to risk wetting herself in real life. But more than that, she was afraid that she would use the restroom and nothing would happen and she’d still be a filly. Despite her knowing that it was increasingly unlikely, she didn’t want to give up on the idea that this was a dream, and decided she would hold out as long as possible. She would keep telling herself that this was a dream until proven otherwise.

“I can hold out,” she told herself. “No, actually, I don’t even need to go. This is all just in my head. This isn’t real. This. Isn’t. Real.”

Asher took one last look at herself in the mirror and sighed as she made her way out of the bathroom, stumbling into Holiday as she exited.

“Oh, I’m sorry!” the mare apologized as she helped the filly back up, using her teeth to grab her by the neck. “That was my fault. I’m sorry. Are you okay?”

The filly sniffed, telling her, “I’m fine. You didn’t hurt me.”

“Are you feeling okay?” Holiday asked a bit more quietly, seeing the sadness that was painted on her face. She placed a hoof on the filly's forehead and pushed some of her hair out of her eyes, asking, “Is something bothering you?”

She sighed, answering, “I’m fine. I promise.”

“Are you feeling sick or are your hooves bothering you? You look like you’re a little unsteady when you walk.”

“I just feel a little light-headed,” Asher said. “I’m fine though.”

Holiday stared at her with a concerned expression for a little while before finally speaking. “Well,” she told her, “if there’s anything you need, you forget that you can always ask me or Miss Lofty.”

“Okay, thank you."

The Dream Is My Reality

The second I stepped back into the room, I was tackled by Scootaloo. It wasn’t a very pleasant feeling, seeing as I still didn’t have any sense of coordination, causing my legs to get painfully tangled up under me. Not to mention, I still had to pee, and having a small child land on top of me didn’t help.

“Ha! I got you!” the pegasus asked from on top of my back. “Did I scare you?”

“Oh, that hurt…” I got out. I was slightly concerned by the pain that I felt, but I put the thought of this being real out of my head. I’d felt pain in my dreams before, so it wasn’t completely out of the ordinary.

“Oops, sorry,” Scootaloo said with an embarrassed chuckle. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“Can you get off of me, please?” I asked. “My leg is stuck under me and it hurts.”

“You should tell us about your parents!” Sweetie Belle exclaimed as Scootaloo moved from on top of me. “We really want to know what kind of creatures they are!”

“I- I’m kind of not in the mood to talk about them,” I told her as I rubbed the back of my leg. There wasn’t any particular reason I didn’t want to talk about them, it was just something I wasn’t in the mood to do.

“Come on!” the girl begged. “Please? We’ve been waiting all day for you to tell us!”

“I don’t know… I’m kind of tired right now anyway…”

“How are you tired already? It’s only like two o’clock! There’s still six hours until Celestia lowers the sun!”

I made a mental note of that. Nighttime was at eight. At eight o’clock I would go to sleep and this dream would end.

“Besides,” Sweetie Belle squeaked out, “we haven’t even taught you about ponies yet!”

“Yeah!” Scootaloo added. “We still have to teach you about ponies since you don’t know!” I sighed quietly, causing Scootaloo to frown. “Is something wrong?”

“Nothing. It’s just…” I trailed off.

“Just what?”

“It’s just that I’m afraid,” I thought. “I’m afraid that this is real and that God put me here and that I’ll be stuck here forever.” However, I kept these thoughts internalized as I took a breath.

“I’m fine,” I told them dismissively, picking myself up off the ground. “I’m just feeling a little sick is all. You can teach me about ponies right now if you want to.”

“Well, okay,” Sweetie Belle said. “First-”

“No, wait!” Scootaloo interrupted. “I’ve got something that will make you feel a hundred times better and can teach you about ponies!”

“Hey! Rainbow Dash!” Scootaloo called out a while later. The three of us were standing outside under a cloud, looking up at a bright blue pony with rainbow-colored hair taking a nap. It looked like the same pony that Scootaloo had posters of in her room, and based on the excited look she had on her face, I could tell she adored this person.

I watched the pegasus yawn and stretch her legs at Scootaloo’s voice, and then suddenly shot down and scooped the girl up. I watched them fly around for a little bit, Scootaloo laughing as she rode on the pegasus’s back before she was set back down again a few seconds later.

“How’s it going, squirt?” the pony, Rainbow Dash, asked, wearing a smile on her face. “Long time, no see.”

“Hey, Rainbow Dash!” Scootaloo said to her again. “We just wanted to show you our new friend! Her name is Asher, and she’s new to Ponyville!” She then turned to me and said, “Asher, this is Rainbow Dash, the greatest pegasus in the world!”

“That’s right!” Rainbow Dash confirmed. “I’m the greatest flier in Equestria! You’re looking at a future Wonderbolt!”

“Uhh… what’s a Wonderbolt?” I asked her. I didn’t know why I felt the need to ask. I knew asking would just make them confused. But I was curious and wanted to know what it was.

While I did expect confusion, what I didn’t expect the pegasus to do was fly up and come nose to nose with me like that other pink person did. I found myself stumbling backward onto my back like last time as she stared at me, slack-jawed and wide-eyed.

“WHAT?” the blue pony yelled. “You don’t know who the Wonderbolts are?”

“I- I don’t-”

“They’re the most talented fliers in all of Equestria! Everypony knows who they are! How can you not know about them?”

She kept her nose pressed up against mine as she stared into my eyes, waiting for a response from me. Honestly, it was a bit frightening, and I could feel my heart rate pick up as she continued to stare. I didn’t know what it was about these horses, but from what I could tell, they seemed to have no sense of personal space.

“Well?” she pressed, wanting an answer.

The moment seemed to last forever as she kept her face pressed up against mine. I was feeling very intimidated by her and found myself speechless because of it. Fortunately, though, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo eventually broke the silence.

“She doesn’t know because she doesn’t know anything about ponies.”

“She doesn’t even know what a cutie mark is!”

Finally she turned away from me as she said, “But how can she not know who the Wonderbolts are? Everypony knows who they are!”

From what I could tell based on appearances, she looked like an adult. However, the way she acted to me seemed much more like a child, or maybe someone in their early teens. She didn’t seem very mature from what I could tell.

“Well, she told us her parents aren’t ponies, so that’s probably why.”

The blue pegasus turned back to face me again, thankfully not nose to nose, and said, “So your parents aren’t ponies, huh? Then what kind of creatures are they?”

“Um, they- they’re hu-humans…” I stammered out nervously.

“Oh yeah?” she asked suspiciously. “And what exactly is a ‘human’?” I didn’t know why, but something about the way she asked me that was making me apprehensive.

“Uh, they’re r-really tall and have two legs and… you’re really freaking me out.”

“Why?” she asked, suddenly coming nose to nose with me again. “Is it because you’re secretly a spy trying to overthrow Equestria?”

“...what?” I got out.

“Maybe we should report you to Princess Celestia and have you interrogated. What do you think of that, spy?”

She stared me dead in the eye for a few more seconds, seeming completely serious, before she fell over as she burst out laughing.

“I got you good, didn’t I?” she laughed. “You really believed me, didn’t you?”

“Not really,” I thought as I stayed on my back, looking up at her. “You were just starting to make me claustrophobic.” This little joke she tried to pull on me just reaffirmed in my mind that, despite being as big as Miss Cheerilee, she was probably closer in age to Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle than she was to the teacher. Or, at the very least, she was a very immature adult.

“Listen, kid,” she started, “How you don't know who the Wonderbolts are, I don't know. But I can teach you all about them. I know everything there is to know. The history, their current members-”

“Why don’t you show her some of your tricks, Rainbow?” Scootaloo interrupted. I could tell that if she hadn’t, she would have started prattling off about them, whoever they were.

"You can show her some of the moves the Wonderbolts do!" I could tell she mostly wanted to watch the pegasus do tricks, but I didn't mind much and decided to go along with it.

“Okay, watch this!”

Asher sat up and watched as Rainbow Dash did… something. The filly couldn’t quite tell. She thought it looked quite a bit like a stunt plane routine, with many sharp turns and corkscrews and loop de loops. It looked impressive enough and seemed difficult to do, but it wasn’t really her thing. Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle seemed awed and looked like they were enjoying it, but the best she could say was that it was interesting.

After about a minute, the pegasus came to a stop in front of her and asked, “So what do you think? Impressed yet?”

“Uh, yeah,” Asher told her politely, trying not to be rude. “It was good.”

“What, you didn’t like it?”

“No, I liked it,” she said defensively. “It’s just… not really… it’s just not really what I’m into. But it was good.”

“Oh yeah?” the pegasus started, seeming up to the challenge of impressing the filly. “Tough to impress, huh? Well, check this out!”

“She’s sure to like this!” the pegasus thought as she did another short routine. “It always impresses Scootaloo!”

“You’re amazing, Rainbow Dash!” Scootaloo called happily. “You look awesome!”

The mare looked down to see both Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo enjoying her moves, but was surprised to see the silver-coated filly watching with a blank, almost bored, expression on her face. Still nothing?” the mare asked herself, confused. “How can she not be impressed by this? What if I…? Hmmmmm...”

All of a sudden, Asher found herself on Rainbow Dash’s back, soaring through the sky at who knew how high. Her eyes went wide as she immediately tensed up in fear. She absolutely hated heights, and found her forelegs wrapping tightly around Rainbow Dash’s neck.

“Pretty cool, huh?” the rainbow maned pony asked.

“I- I- I- I don’t-”

“If you like that, watch this!”

The filly’s grip on the pegasus’s neck tightened further as the two flew higher. Asher found herself wishing that she had fingers so she could latch on further. She shut her eyes and clenched her teeth in an effort to keep herself from being so scared.

“What do you think, kid?” Rainbow Dash asked as she looked back at her. What she saw though wasn’t what she expected. The filly on her back looked terrified, shaking and holding back tears as she breathed deeply to try and keep herself calm.

“Please put me down,” she asked, her voice cracking.

“Whoa, I’m sorry!” the mare apologized as she quickly descended. The filly gratefully stepped off her back and lay down in the grass as the pegasus rubbed a hoof behind her head.

“I’m sorry,” Rainbow Dash chuckled nervously. “We might have gone a little bit high there. I’m sorry… uh, are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” Asher said breathlessly, her eyes still closed. “I just… give me a few minutes to lay down.”

“Uh, you’re not mad at me are you?”

“No, just…” She shivered before she continued, “Please don’t do that again. I literally almost wet myself.”

“I, uh, I wasn’t intentionally trying to scare you. I promise.”

“I know. It’s fine," the filly said in between breaths.

Rainbow Dash frowned as she started to think silently to herself. “Crap, she’s gonna think I was trying to bully her because of this and that joke I tried to play earlier. I don’t want her to think I’m a bully… Ugh!”

“Uh… I think I should go…” Rainbow Dash trailed off. “But I promise I’ll try and make it up to you. I really didn’t mean to scare you like that.” She waited a second for Asher to respond, but only watched the filly sigh without saying anything. With that, she flew off a few moments later.

“Well that was a big waste of time,” Sweetie Belle said. “Rainbow Dash didn’t even get to teach her anything.”

“Yeah, and she wasn’t even impressed by her moves, and Rainbow Dash can impress anypony!”

“Is it okay if we went back now?” Asher whispered as she sniffed and slowly stood up. “It looks like the sun’s going down.”

Both Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle looked up to see Celestia quickly lowering the sun. “That’s weird. I didn’t think we were out here for that long. Maybe Princess Celestia’s lowering it early today.”

“Maybe. But I guess we should go back now. We don’t want my aunts to worry about us.”

“Stop shaking,” I told myself as the three of us walked back home. “It’s over now. Just breathe.”

“Please don’t be mad at Rainbow Dash,” Scootaloo told me as we walked. “She wouldn’t have done it if she knew you were scared. I promise.”

I sighed. “I’m fine. I’m just tired. I just want to go home and go to sleep,” silently adding, “and not pee my pants.” It had been hours since I first had water back in the classroom, and while I’d been effectively ignoring the sensation, right now, it was starting to become painful.

“But what about our sleepover?” Sweetie Belle protested. “We haven’t even taught you about ponies yet!”

“I learned that you ponies don’t have any concept of personal space,” I thought, but kept that thought internalized. Instead, I said, “I’ll still have a sleepover, I just don’t know how much I’m gonna learn tonight. I’d really rather just go to sleep.”

“Oh, okay,” the unicorn responded with disappointment in her voice. “You’ll be here tomorrow though, right?”

“Um, probably not. I’m sorry.”

There was a period of silence as we made our way back up to and inside of Scootaloo’s house. We entered to see Holiday and Lofty sitting at the table, the former sewing and the latter reading a book. There was also the smell of food coming from the kitchen that made my stomach grumble. I’d only had muffins to eat all day, and I was hungry.

“Huh,” Scootaloo said thoughtfully. “I thought Pinkie would've had your party all set to go already.”

“My party?”

“Yeah. She usually throws it the same day she meets somepony new… I wonder what’s holding her up.”

I’d already forgotten that detail of my encounter with the pony, but forced myself not to be worried. I wasn’t going to let myself get worked up over what was more than likely nothing, so I instead wondered what was for dinner. However, before I could ask, Holiday spoke up.

“I’m glad you girls are back,” she told us. “Supper’s just about ready now. We’re having lasagna tonight.”

“Lasagna,” I thought as the three of us sat at the table. “My favorite. Might as well end this dream on a positive note.”

“So Asher,” Holiday started a few minutes later as she served us up, “can I ask what your parents are like? What are their names?”

“Well,” I started to respond as I picked up the fork, “their names are- oh my gosh!”

The four of them watched as the fork dropped from Asher’s grasp, the filly staring at her hoof with a look of shock on her face.

“What is it, Asher?” Lofty asked with concern as her wife frowned.

“Drat,” Holiday thought. “She was so close to telling us their names.”

“I- I-” the filly stuttered. “How did I do that?”

“Do what now?”

“How did I pick up the fork?” she asked, still staring at her hoof and sounding completely flabbergasted. “I’m not supposed to be able to do that!”

“What do you mean?” Sweetie Belle asked, talking with a mouth full of veggie lasagna.

“I’m a horse! This is a hoof! Hooves aren’t supposed to be able to pick up things!”

“Uhhhh…” Holiday started, staring uncomprehendingly at Asher, knowing that what she said didn’t make much sense. “Well, I guess most ponies can’t, but um... From what I understand, most Earth Ponies can use their hooves to grip things, at least to some extent.” She picked up her fork to demonstrate and said, “See?” She paused for a moment and asked, “Do you not think you should be able to?”

The filly ignored her and reached for the fork again, this time unable to move it at all. “It’s not working,” she said aloud. She tried a few more times to pick it up, but without success.

“That’s dream logic,” she told herself silently as she closed her eyes. “The second I notice I’m doing something, I’m unable to do it. That’s one hundred percent dream logic.”

“Are you okay?” Holiday asked. “I know you said you were feeling a little sick earlier. Maybe we should get your parents.”

“No I’m fine,” Asher said with a sigh. “I’m just really tired. I don’t know why I got so nervous."

One more time, the filly tried to pick up the fork next to her. When she was unable, however, she decided to copy Scootaloo’s and Sweetie Belle’s method of simply using their mouths to eat.

“I’m concerned about her,” Lofty mouthed to Holiday while the fillies started to talk about something.

“I know,” the mare mouthed back. “So am I.”

“Do you think something happened to her?” Lofty asked, whispering now.

“I don’t know,” she answered. “I really hope not. She just seems so… I don’t know.”

Before the five of them knew it, dinner was over and the three fillies were upstairs in Scootaloo’s room talking to each other. They were sitting on the floor in a circle as Scootaloo finished telling a story about watching Rainbow Dash.

“Anyway,” the pegasus started after she finished up, “do you wanna tell a story next, Asher?”

“I’m fine,” Asher said as she crossed her legs uncomfortably. She’d been awake all day, and despite her not really having all that much to drink, her bladder was starting to become painful.

“I’d really rather go to sleep now, honestly,” she continued.

“But it’s not even late!” Sweetie Belle protested. “We could read a book or play a game- and you haven’t even learned anything about ponies or told us about your parents!”

“I know,” she told them, “but I’m really tired, and really want to go to sleep. I’m sorry. I’ll see if I can do all those things tomorrow morning, okay?”

She really hated lying, but she figured that it wouldn't matter since she wouldn't see them tomorrow, or probably ever again after she woke up.

“Well…” the unicorn trailed off, “okay…”

“Me and Sweetie Belle are gonna stay up since it’s only nine o’clock. We’ll be quiet though, so you can go to sleep.”

“Okay,” Asher yawned as she climbed up onto the bed. “That’s fine.”

“Go to sleep,” I told myself as I kept my eyes closed. “Go. To. Sleep.”

I was still awake a few hours after I crawled into bed. By this time, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle were asleep next to me, both of them snoring loudly as I lay at the edge of the bed to avoid being so close to them. I was having trouble falling asleep because of how apprehensive I was. I was concerned that I would go to sleep and wake back up here the next day, and I almost didn't want to fall asleep because of it.

Eventually, though, I was able to drift off, and found myself waking up in my own bed. I breathed a sigh of relief at the familiar sight, glad that that dream was finally over.

“Oh, thank you, Lord,” I whispered. “Thank you for letting me wake up. Oh, that was an awful dream… I have to use the bathroom."

“Asher? Are you okay?”

“Ugh,” Asher got out as she groggily opened an eye. “What- what the heck is this?” She looked around the room with a confused expression as something warm and wet touched her.

“What the heck is going on?” she asked the mare holding her before going wide-eyed at the realization a few seconds later. “Wait, no. No, no, no, no, no. This- this- this isn’t real! This can’t be happening to me!”

“Hey, you’re okay,” Holiday told the filly. “You’re okay. Everything’s going to be fine.”

“I- I- I’m not- supposed to b-be here…” she got out as she started to gasp for air. "I went through the whole day! I'm not..."

“Huh? Asher? Why are you awake?” Scootaloo asked, being woken up herself by the noise. “Wait, did you wet the bed?”

The filly was shaking and breathing hard, on the edge of hyperventilating. Despite all day knowing in the back of her mind that this was more than likely real, she nonetheless found herself shocked that she was still in Equestria. More than that, though, she was afraid of everything that being in Equestria might entail.

“You’re going to be alright, Asher,” Holiday said in a comforting tone as she stroked the filly’s mane. “Everything’s going to be fine.”

“I- I… this…” she started to say before fainting and falling off the bed.

Author's Notes:

I'm going to be a bit disappointed if nobody gets the Metallica reference

So Much Of Everything

The sound of hooves and voices drifted into Sweetie Belle’s sleep. She heard a thud and a pony yelling, followed by a grunt and the sound of hooves running away. A few moments later, she heard more yelling, this time in the distance, then silence as running hooves faded away. She considered waking up for a second, but decided against it, at least until she felt something.

“Uh, what- what is that?” Sweetie Belle asked sleepily, rubbing her eyes. She sniffed, starting, “Is that- did you wet the bed, Scootaloo?”

“No,” Scootaloo answered with a yawn. “I think Asher did, and now Aunt Holiday is probably helping her get cleaned up.”

“Oh. I guess that’s why she didn’t want to sleep in the bed with us earlier.”

“Yeah…” Scootaloo paused, rubbing her eyes, then continued, “I think she fell off the bed and hit her head, too.”

“Is she okay?”

“I don’t know.”

“Girls?” a voice asked as a mare entered the still dark room. “Are you awake?”

“Yeah,” Scootaloo answered, rubbing her eyes again. “Asher wet the bed, and I think she hit her head.”

“That's what Aunt Holiday told me. She's with her now taking her to the hospital.”

“Wait, really? Is she okay?”

“I think she’ll be okay, but we just want to make sure.”

“Oh, okay.”

There was a silence building as Lofty considered how to start what she wanted to say next. While she did know that it wasn't going to be permanent, she didn't know how this was going to work exactly yet. Still, though, she felt like she should mention it to her now so she wasn't caught off guard later.

“How would you feel, Scootaloo,” she started, “if Asher stayed with us for a little while?”

“Wait, really?” Scooatloo asked, her eyes widening. “Yes!”

“Now it’s not a guarantee, it’s just a possibility. Aunt Holiday and I will talk to you more about it tomorrow... or I guess today, seeing as it's almost waking up time as it is."

“Yay! Asher gets to stay in Ponyville!” Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle exclaimed excitedly at the same time.

“So just to be clear, we said that, while sleeping over at your house, she wet the bed, woke up confused and disoriented, and then fainted and hit her head falling on the ground?” Redheart asked. “Is that correct?”

“Yes, that’s right,” Holiday answered.

“And you were in the room when this happened?”

“Yes I was.”

The nurse wrote down her words, squinting as she did so. “Where are her parents?” she asked.

“We don’t know,” Cheerilee broke in, watching the conversation between them take place. “She claims they aren’t ponies, and from what one of my students told me, she was found lying on the ground just before sunrise yesterday.” She paused, then added, “Mayor Mare and I decided that it would be best for her to stay with Lofty and Holiday for the time being.”

The three of them were talking softly next to Asher as she lay in a hospital bed. It was early morning, the sun expected to be risen up in the sky in just a couple of hours, when Holiday brought the filly in. On the way over, she stopped by to get Cheerilee, who was normally awake at this time. From there, they headed over to Ponyville General, and were now talking to nurse Redheart about the filly.

“I see…” the nurse trailed off as she cast a glance at Asher. She was silent for a second as she wrote, then continued, “In any case, from what you’re telling me, it sounds like she fell over from exhaustion as soon as she woke up and hit her head that way.”

“Are you sure?” Holiday asked with concern. “What if it’s something else? She told me yesterday that she was feeling sick.”

“She told me the same thing during class, too,” Cheerilee added. “She walked weirdly, almost with a limp, and honestly seemed confused and anxious of everything around her. I- I’m honestly concerned she doesn’t even know how to read. I think she might have lied about her name, too. She said it was Asher, but it sounded to me like she was going to say something different.”

Redheart did think it was a bit peculiar what they were saying, but decided not to comment on it. "I understand," she told them. "When she wakes up, I’ll make sure to speak to her about all of that. I’ll be back in a few minutes to check more on her.”

Bright lights and the sound of voices forced me awake.

I could feel the sensation of someone’s hand in my hair as I cracked an eye open. Bright lights and white walls filled my vision, completely unlike the home I was used to. There was a dresser and a computer monitor and a curtain covered in flowers that was meant to separate different areas of the place I was in. It was a very bizarre sight, and I couldn’t immediately tell where I was.

“Oh, my head hurts,” I thought as I looked down at my silver-coated hooves. “Was I in an accident? I don’t remember getting hurt…”

I must have made a noise, a sound of discomfort, because the person whose hand was in my hair said something to me.

“Hey, it’s okay,” a woman whispered in a voice I recognized, but couldn’t immediately place. “It’s okay,” she said. “Just stay still. You’re gonna be okay.”

I continued to stare at my appendages, trying to understand what I was looking at. They seemed incredibly familiar and out of place at the same time, and for a second I couldn’t quite figure out why. They seemed normal, normal enough for hooves anyway, and had a nice bright color that I quite liked.

“Wait, hooves?” I finally realized. “Why do I have hooves? What is going on?”

I turned my head to look up and saw two horses that I knew I recognized, one with a red-tinted coat and hair that reminded me of fire, the other with a pinkish white mane and a dark magenta colored coat. The sight of them threw me completely off, and I struggled to make sense of what I was seeing.

“Miss Holiday and Miss Cheerilee?” I thought. “What are they doing here? What is going on?”

All of a sudden, it clicked. This was the dream I had. The dream that turned out to be real. I remembered the entire previous day. My appearance, meeting those two girls, the school day, going to sleep… I was supposed to wake up at home. This was supposed to have been over. And yet I was still here.

“What am I still doing here?” I fearfully thought to myself. “I’m not supposed to be here. God, why is this happening to me? What is going on?”

I tried my very best not to start freaking out right then, but I could already feel my muscles tense up and my breathing become faster. For the second or third time in less than a day, I could feel tears form as my teeth chattered at the prospect of being here and what it all meant, but I tried to force myself to stay calm. However, I knew I wasn’t doing a very good job by the way Holiday talked to me.

“Hey, it’s okay,” she told me, Cheerilee gazing sympathetically at me as Holiday wrapped me in a hug. “The nurse is going to be back here really soon. I promise.”

“I’m not supposed to be here…” I whispered shakily, looking back down at my hooves tearfully. “I need to go home…”

I watched the silver legs in front of me shake as my breathing continued to get faster. I could feel my heart beating quicker and harder and my chest starting to hurt as I looked around the small area, hoping something would prove that I wasn't actually here. Suddenly though, my body was turned so that I was facing someone.

“Look at me, Asher,” Cheerilee asserted forcefully as she stared me in the eye. She put a hoof on one of mine and continued, “It’s going to be okay. I know you don’t feel okay right now, but you’re going to be okay.”

“I- I…” I closed my eyes and put a hoof on my chest. “Oh, I feel like I’m having a heart attack.”

“I’ll go get the nurse,” Holiday said, getting up as Cheerilee continued to stare into my eyes, putting a hoof in my hair.

“I want you to take some slow, deep breaths, okay?” the teacher told me, much softer this time. I tried to follow her directions, but it was difficult to fight the panicky feeling welling up inside me. Nevertheless, I found myself very, very slowly started to calm down as I felt her hoof stroke my mane in a relaxing sort of motion. It seemed like she knew what she was doing, which wasn't that surprising to me, seeing as she was a school teacher.

"I know you might be scared right now, but you're going to be okay."

I absolutely hated this feeling I had, this feeling that I was trapped here no matter what. I didn’t want to be this… animal! I was the wrong age, the wrong sex, the wrong species, and in the wrong world, and it absolutely terrified me. However, before I could start to get worked up again, I watched as someone else entered the room.

“Look who’s awake!” Redheart said with a smile as she entered. She immediately saw the look on the filly’s face as she did so, and approached softly, Holiday following behind her. “How are you feeling?” the mare asked.

The silver-coated filly sniffed. “I’m not supposed to be here,” she got out. She knew it was childlike, but at that point, she couldn’t help it. She felt like everything around her was crumbling, and she was just barely hanging on.

“I want to go home,” she continued.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Redheart replied sympathetically. “I promise we’ll try to get you home. But first, I’d like to give you a checkup and talk to you privately. Is that okay?”

“I guess…” she answered quietly, Cheerilee and Holiday taking this as their cue to exit the curtained off area.

“Is it okay if I just started by asking what your name is?”

“A-a-ashley…” the filly sniffed out, then realized what she said and quickly tried to take it back. “I mean, I’m sorry. It’s- it’s Asher.”

“Hey, I think Ashley is a very nice name,” she told her, almost whispering as she used a hoof to move some hair from in front of the filly’s eyes. “Is it okay if I called you that?” she asked.

“I- I don't… I… I guess,” she got out, keeping herself composed enough to avoid crying.

“Can I ask what your parents' names are, Ashley?”

“Garnet and Opal…”

“Garnet and Opal,” Redheart repeated as she wrote the names down. “How old are you, Ashley?”

She didn’t immediately answer, instead taking a second to take a deep breath as she felt herself becoming anxious. She knew exactly what would happen when she answered her question. She knew it would seem utterly ridiculous to the nurse, and knew that if she was on the other side, it would seem that way to her, too.

“You’re not going to believe me…” she said quietly.

“Why wouldn’t I believe you?”

The filly paused for a moment, then sniffed and said, “Because I’m almost twenty-five…”

“Oh, uh, okay…” the nurse trailed off, unsure how to react. “That’s, uh…”

“You don’t believe me…”

“Hey, now,” she tried to tell her. “I never said I don’t believe you-”

“But I know you don't because this isn’t supposed to be happening to me,” the filly got out. “All of this, it’s… it’s not supposed to be happening to me. I’m not supposed to be here… Oh, Lord, why are you letting this happen to me? This shouldn’t be happening!”

“Hey, hey now,” Redheart started as she watched the filly start go get herself worked up. “It’s okay. It’s going to be okay.”

“It’s not going to be okay…” she gasped. “This shouldn’t be happening…”

“It’s going to be okay,” the mare asserted, putting a hoof around her and rubbing her shoulder. “You’re going to be okay, Ashley.”

“Please don’t call me that,” Asher choked out, once again fighting back tears. “I really don’t want to be called that. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. You don’t need to be sorry. I’ll call you Asher if that’s what you want.”

Asher used her hooves to wipe her eyes. “I’m too old to be acting like this. I’m sorry."

“You don’t need to be sorry. I should be sorry for making you uncomfortable.”

Asher sniffed. “I don’t normally get upset by the name Ashley,” she said. "It’s just… it’s just... everything! So much of everything right now!”

"I promise, it's going to be okay," she said as she leaned down to look at her head. “Why don't we start that check-up now, hmm? Do you hear ringing in your ears or see double?”

“No…”

“That’s good. Do you feel light headed or nauseous at all?” The filly shook her head, immediately regretting it as she did so. “I don't think you're going to want to shake your head right now, Ashley- I mean, Asher. Do you remember what happened when you woke up?”

“This morning or yesterday?” Asher asked, her voice cracking a bit.

“Why don’t we start with this morning, when you were in Miss Holiday’s house.”

The filly blushed slightly, saying, “I woke up because I peed, then I passed out again and hit my head.”

“Oh, that must’ve hurt. Were you scared?”

I knew exactly where this was going, and I wanted to put an end to it before it began. I closed my eyes and took a few breaths before answering her.

“I was afraid because I’m not supposed to be here. I thought I would be back home in my normal body when I woke up, and I wasn’t, and… and I want to go home.”

I couldn’t help but add that to the end. I’d never been homesick before, but at that moment, I was feeling an absolutely soul-crushing wave of homesickness, one that made me just want to ball up and cry, and extreme anxiety at the thought that I would be trapped here forever.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” the nurse told me sympathetically. “I promise, we’ll do everything we can to get you home. But can I ask what you mean when you say you thought you would be back in your “normal body”?

“I mean I’m not a pony,” I told her, almost as a matter of fact.

“You’re not a pony?” she asked, raising an eyebrow. I shook my head, and despite the fact that I knew she didn’t believe me, she continued on. “That’s interesting, because you sure look like a pony to me."

"I'm not," I managed to say in a small voice.

She was silent for a second, probably debating whether or not I was lying, crazy, or had a concussion, before she continued. "Well, in any case, it looks like you hit your head really hard when you fell, hard enough to leave a bruise… do you know when your last checkup was, Asher?”

“No,” I told her honestly.

“Well, in that case, I think we’ll give you a full checkup. Can you open your mouth for me, please?”

Nurse Redheart And I

“Oh my…” Redheart said quietly as she looked into my mouth. I gave her a concerned look as she asked me, “Do you eat meat, Asher?”

“Um, yes… I mean, sometimes,” I answered honestly, almost whispering. I watched her cringe at my answer, and couldn’t help but add, “I’m sorry.”

“Oh, you don’t- you don’t… need to be sorry…” she got out as she continued to look around my mouth. “It’s just, uh, most ponies…”

“They don’t eat meat,” I finished for her. “I know.”

“Not that they can’t eat meat,” she said quickly. “It’s just, um… eating meat is, uh… well…” I must have looked upset because she tried to change the subject. “Why don’t we move on?” she offered. “Miss Cheerilee said that you’re having trouble walking. Is that true?”

“A little bit, yes.”

“Well let’s have a look at your legs and hooves then,” she said as she bent down to feel them with her own hooves. “Does anything hurt?” she asked as she looked them over.

“No.”

“What if I bend them like this? Does this hurt?” I shook my head, and immediately regretted it as she continued, “I want you to try and grip my hooves as hard as you can, okay?”

“Okay…”

She placed her hooves on top of mine, and I tried to do… something. I didn’t know what. But even as I tried, I could tell nothing was happening from the look she was giving me.

“Are you having trouble, sweetie?” she asked.

I ignored my discomfort at the word ‘sweetie’ as I responded, “I don’t know how to do it.”

Her look of concern changed to one of shock. “You can’t use your hooves?” she asked, surprised.

“I don’t know. I mean, I was able to pick something up yesterday, a fork, but once I noticed I was doing it, it fell.”

“That’s… that’s strange. How long have you been having trouble holding things?”

I felt myself blush at her question as I quietly answered, “Since I became a pony.”

“When you became a pony?” she asked curiously as she raised an eyebrow while continuing to examine me, matching the quietness of my voice. “Were you not a pony before?”

“No,” I managed to say with a sigh. "I shouldn't be one now."

“You said before that you weren’t a pony,” she started as she stopped what she was doing to look me in the eye. “Can I ask when you became one?”

“Yesterday morning…”

“I see…” she trailed off. “Can I ask what happened when you became a pony?”

“Well, I… I don’t really remember. I do remember waking up on the ground, and then I was a pony.”

“That must’ve been very scary for you.”

“It was terrifying,” I admitted. “It’s making me nervous now.”

"You don’t need to be scared of us,” she tried to tell me as she put a hoof on my shoulder. “I promise we won’t hurt you here.”

Once again, I could tell what route this conversation was taking and what conclusions she was drawing from this, and wanted to put a stop to it immediately.

“I just- I want to make sure you aren’t getting the wrong idea,” I told her. “I wasn’t, like, sexually abused or anything. I really wasn’t physically a pony before yesterday.”

“I understand,” she responded in a manner that was supposed to be reassuring, but only told me she didn’t believe me. “In any case,” she continued as she quickly got out a stethoscope, “why don’t we keep going? Can you sit up and breathe in deep for me?”

I followed her instructions and took deep breaths so she could listen to my lungs. While breathing didn’t make me feel better about the situation I was in, it did help me relax a little bit more. It was just a little bit, but it was certainly better than nothing.

“Your lungs sound fine. Now I’m going to listen to your tummy here and make sure it sounds good, too. If you could lay back down, please?”

“Okay,” I managed to say with a little less of the nervousness I spoke with before. As she listened, she tried to engage me somewhat.

“Do you like it in Ponyville so far?” she asked.

“Yes, it’s nice,” I answered simply.

“That’s good. Have you made any friends yet?”

For some reason, I felt embarrassed, and blushed as I answered her. “I think so, um… Scootaloo. Oh, and Sweetie Belle.”

“Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle, huh? I know both of those fillies. Has Scootaloo showed you any of her tricks yet?”

“Tricks?”

“Yeah. Scootaloo is really good with that scooter of hers. You should ask her to show you some of her tricks later.” She paused for a second after that, then continued, “Okay, Asher, I’m just going to take a quick look to make sure everything looks alright down there, okay?”

“Okay…”

Even as I tried to stay relaxed, I couldn’t help but tense up as she examined me. This whole situation was just absolutely killing me. Even as I tried to ignore it right then, I couldn’t get it out of my head that I wasn’t supposed to be there, I wasn’t supposed to be a pony, and I certainly wasn’t supposed to be a girl.

“Lord,” I thought as I clenched my jaw, “I ask for your strength and your guidance in these moments. Let me have the courage to face this situation and faith in whatever your will is. Please let me… I don’t know. Let me… let me... I don’t know.”

“Just relax for me, sweetie.”

"Oh, Lord, why is this happening to me?"

It was hard to get relaxed again, especially with her calling me sweetie. As hard as I tried, I couldn’t help but start to breathe faster. It wasn’t her examining me that was getting to me, it was what she was examining. I wasn’t supposed to be a girl. I wasn’t supposed to be a child. I wasn’t supposed to be a pony. I wasn’t supposed to be… here!

I closed my eyes. I knew that being nervous and panicky wasn’t going to help me change anything, but even if I wasn’t nervous, I had absolutely no idea what I was supposed to do. I had no idea how to change anything. I was stuck in this… animal’s body, and all I could do was go along with it. It was impossible to force the fact out of my head because I was living it every second, and it was absolutely killing me.

Asher couldn’t help but start to sniffle again. She knew how Nurse Redheart would view her tears at that exact moment, and tried to stop herself from getting teary eyed, but couldn’t. Everything about her current predicament was getting to her, and she was lucky that she hadn't simply broken down completely in the past day of being in Ponyville.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Nurse Redheart said, the filly suddenly feeling her hoof in her mane. “It’s okay. I promise I won’t hurt you. Nopony is going to hurt you…”

“I… oh, I can’t do this…” Asher got out.

“You’re okay,” the nurse continued, gently stroking her mane. “Nopony will hurt you. It’s okay.”

“It’s not going to be okay!” she got out. “I’m not supposed to be here! I’m not supposed to be a pony! I’m a human being! Not this… ugh!” She put her hooves on her eyes and started to breathe faster, trying to keep herself from crying. She hated the frustration and anxiety and fear that she felt, and hated that, as far as she knew so far, those feelings would last forever.

“God, why is this happening to me?” she asked aloud, breathless.

“It’s going to be okay,” the nurse started again in a comforting way, her voice both quiet and firm. "You don't need to be scared."

"I- I c-can't help it…"

“Just calm down and tell me what’s wrong, okay? It's going to be alright.”

“I’m trying,” she sniffled out. “I’m trying to stay calm. I r-really am. It’s just- it’s hard. I’ve never been so terrified in my whole life...”

“You don’t have to be scared. It’s going to be okay. Just take some deep breaths and tell me what’s going on, okay? Everything’s going to be fine.”

There was a pause as the filly took a few moments to breathe, then she said, “I’m not supposed to be here. I’m supposed to be an adult human male, not this… horse girl!” Asher hiccuped as she finished, choking back tears and forcing herself not to cry.

“Can you tell me what you mean?” RedHeart asked kindly.

“I mean I’m not a girl!” she answered, exasperated. “I’m supposed to be a boy, I’m supposed to be a human, and I’m supposed to be an adult!”

Redheart squinted at her, trying to process what she said. “Um… how long have you… felt like that?” she asked carefully.

“The last day,” she sniffed out bitterly, breathing slowly to stay calm. “Since I got here.”

“The last day? Can you tell me a little about where you’re from?” The nurse was trying to distract her from being upset, and it seemed to be working from what she could tell. Not only that, but she was also curious to see exactly what Asher would say about her life, seeing as she already claimed not to be a filly.

She gave another sniffle as she calmed down a little bit more, quietly answering, “I'm from Delaware…”

“Delamare? What’s it like there?”

“It’s small and flat and by the ocean…” She swallowed, continuing, “There’s not that many people there, and I live in a city called Wilmington…”

“That sounds like a very nice place. How long have you lived there?”

“Since I was four. Me and- my parents and I lived with my great grandparents until I was ten. I’m going to move out after I finish my degree this year. I mean, I was...” She hiccuped at the end of her sentence, working to keep herself calm.

“Can I ask what your parents do?”

“My mom is unemployed, and my dad is a mechanic.”

Despite her interest in the filly’s mother being unemployed, the nurse asked the obvious question. “You're dad's a mechanic? What kinds of things does your dad fix?”

“Cars,” she answered, which prompted a weird expression and raised eyebrow from Redheart. “They- they’re machines that can go places really fast. Um, I- I guess it’s like a scooter, but faster. Um, and you need a license to drive them”

“That’s interesting. Do ponies use ‘cars’ to get around often?”

“Yes, but, um, not ponies. There aren’t any ponies where I’m from.”

“Are you the only pony where you live?”

“I- well, I’m not a pony either…”

“I see…”

Asher sighed, rubbing her eyes. “You don’t believe me,” she spoke quietly.

“I didn’t-”

“I know you don’t believe me,” she interrupted. She hiccuped again, took a few slow breaths, then continued, “I know you don’t believe me because I wouldn’t believe me. You didn’t believe me earlier about my age, so I don’t see why you would believe me now…”

She stared at her hooves and sniffed as Redheart stared at her. The mare was trying to piece together what the words she was saying meant. They didn’t really make any sense, but then again, she did hit her head, and might have had a concussion. Of course, it could also have been some sort of mental health issue, but it didn’t really seem like that was the case, and if it was, the nurse really didn’t want to get tied in to that sort of thing. Honestly, if she had to guess, she’d say she was lying about all this and was a runaway foal.

“Hmmm… there’s an idea,” Redheart thought. “A runaway foal… maybe attention seeking behavior? Hmmmm…”

“I just... I really don't want to be here...” Asher whispered sadly.

“I understand,” Redheart replied sympathetically, already thinking about how she would hand her back to Cheerilee in a little while. “We’ll do everything we can to get you home. It’s going to be okay.”

“If you say so…" the filly whispered, already starting to believe it wasn't possible.

Author's Notes:

In case you haven't noticed, this is probably going to be a very, very long fic.

And Now Miss Cheerilee

“Well, from what I could gather, she seems fine physically,” Nurse Redheart told Cheerilee and Holiday. “She’s physically healthy, and it doesn’t seem like she has a concussion or anything serious like that.”

“But?” the yellow mare asked worriedly.

The nurse exhaled sharply and continued, “But I do think she’s displaying some, um… attention seeking behavior.”

Holiday looked confused by what she said, but Cheerilee seemed more suspicious, and asked “What kind of behavior?”

“Well, for example, she said she used to live by the ocean in Delamare even though it’s nowhere near the ocean. She doesn’t seem sick like you said she said she felt. She also seemed to suggest that she couldn’t use her hooves, and I know you were also concerned about how she walks, however, I wasn’t able to see anything wrong with her legs at all, and she also admitted that she was able to pick things up ‘when she didn’t notice it’. Then she said she isn’t a pony…”

“She said she’s not a pony? I know she said her parents aren't ponies, but...”

“Yes. She also told me that she’s not a filly and she’s an adult.”

“Well…”

“Then she said that nopony where she’s from is a pony, and they used things called ‘cars’ to get around.”

“Hmmm… she did tell me that her parents weren’t ponies, and she was reluctant to go into details about it…”

Holiday was tempted to interrupt. She wanted to say that, to her, it didn’t seem like she was lying, at least not intentionally. She wanted to say that she seemed genuinely anxious and upset when she heard her talking to herself in the bathroom yesterday, and that, when she looked at her, what she saw was a shy and scared little filly who wanted to go home. However, she decided not to voice her opinions. She wasn’t a nurse or a schoolteacher, and didn’t work with foals every day like they did, and decided it was probably best to let them do their work uninterrupted by her thoughts.

“It does seem like a plausible explanation,” Cheerilee continued, “but I’ll also have to have a chat with her to see what she tells me. There are some things that don’t make sense to me. Not everything adds up.”

Nurse Redheart knew that not everything added up. Attention seeking behavior didn’t explain why the filly would openly tell her that what she said would seem ridiculous, not to mention the fact that the filly seemed on the edge of an anxiety attack more than once. However, like Holiday, she kept her thoughts to herself, but only to keep herself from potentially being tied to a mental health case. That was something she really didn’t want to deal with, and would rather have Cheerilee handle on her behalf.

“But, um,” Nurse Redheart started again, “she looks physically healthy as far as I can tell. No signs of abuse or anything like that, and her head seems fine. I’d say she’s okay to be released.”

“Okay, then Holiday and I will take it from here,” the teacher responded. “Thank you for taking a look at her.”

“Oh, and one more thing: she said her parents were Garnet and Opal, and that her real name is Ashley.”

I was an animal now, and it was absolutely scaring me.

If there was one thing I knew about animals, it's that they weren't people. Animals didn’t have consciousness, they didn’t have a soul, and they didn’t go to heaven or hell. They followed God’s commands and that was it. They didn’t have the capacity to think like humans did.

Which, given my current situation, had a few potential meanings. The first was that this wasn’t real, which I’d already ruled out earlier that morning. Of course, it was still technically possible that this was a dream, but at that point, the odds of this being the case were effectively zero, and I hardly even believed that was the case even yesterday. With that, I moved onto the second option, which was that I simply didn’t have consciousness. However, even thinking about that as a possibility was silly. If I had enough sense to think about the idea of not having consciousness, then I was conscious.

That thought led me to the most frightening possibility, which was that God simply wasn’t real. Just the thought of that made me have to catch my breath. I couldn’t bear to think that God didn’t exist, and it filled me with a sense of dread. If he wasn’t real, that meant… nothing. Absolutely nothing. Everything I did was just meaningless. When I died, there would just be nothing. I would cease to exist.

I had to take a breath because I was freaking myself out. God was real, and I knew that. Probably. Except this scenario was leaving open the distinct possibility that he wasn’t...

“No,” I told myself. “God is real. He proved that to me over and over again, time after time. Just my being here is proof enough that he’s real, because nothing else can explain this.” I was never ever going to accept that God didn’t exist, no matter what. He was real, and I was sure of it. Of course, being this… horse wasn’t helping to convince me of that fact, but I decided to just accept that I didn’t understand it, which wasn't that hard for me to do.

It was only a few seconds later that Cheerilee and Holiday entered the curtained area again. I must not have looked that well because they quickly made their way over, the former putting her hoof in my hair.

“Are you feeling okay, Asher?” the teacher asked sympathetically.

“Yeah, I’m just freaking myself out for no reason,” I told her.

“Do you want to tell us about it?”

“I’m just…” I trailed off, then sighed. “I’m just thinking about how I’m not supposed to be a pony…”

“Nurse Redheart told me you said that. Do you want to talk about it?”

“I mean, I don’t know. I don’t think there’s anything I can do about it, and I’m pretty sure you don’t believe me, and I’m really trying to stay calm, but this is all just so…”

“It’s okay,” she said in a comforting voice as she started to stroke my hair. “Why don’t you take a breath and tell me about your home?”

I forced myself to take another breath as I started to speak. “Okay, um, very first, um, I’m not from this world. At all.”

“You’re not from this world?” she asked curiously, tilting her head slightly in a way that made me blush. “Can you tell me what you mean?”

“I mean um...” I started again, “the place I’m from, it’s nowhere in this world. Ummm… it’s called Earth, and um…”

“But Nurse Redheart told me you were from Delamare. Is that not true?”

“I am from Delaware,” I tried to explain. “Delaware is in the United States, and the United States is on Earth.”

“Oh, okay. I understand.”

I had to close my eyes and take a silent breath. The way she spoke sounded like she was speaking to a little girl. It was like she was talking to a lying child that she didn’t believe, and I absolutely hated it. I hated that it was what she was seeing in front of her, and that there was nothing I could do about it. I hated how little control I had over the situation, how little control I had over my own emotions.

“Oh, Lord, please don’t let this be real!” I desperately prayed silently.

“Hey, it’s okay,” she told me quietly. “Why don’t you tell me what kind of creatures live in ‘Earth’? Is it Earth Ponies like you?”

I opened my eyes again and took a slow breath, wishing I had fists to clench to help me stay calm. “No,” I explained. “There are horses, but there aren’t any ponies where I live. They’re humans. They have two legs and hands and are six feet tall…”

“Is that what your parents are?” she asked me.

“Yes, they’re humans, like…”

I suddenly noticed I was staring at my silver-coated limbs as I trailed off. My hooves. That’s what they were. I wasn’t a human anymore, I was a pony. I was supposed to be a human, but I wasn’t, and there was nothing I could do about it.

“I probably sound so crazy to you,” I told her, feeling myself starting to get worked up again and my chest starting to tighten as I continued to stare at my now shaking hooves.

“I don’t think you sound crazy...”

“I know I sound crazy because this shouldn’t even be real! This should be a dream!” I really hated this anxious feeling I had, and tried very hard not to get worked up again. I was so over the panic I was feeling, but I couldn’t help but feel it. I was having the worst morning of my whole life, and talking to them about it and knowing they didn’t believe me was making it worse. At that moment, I felt like I was living in a nightmare.

“I’m going to be stuck here forever, aren’t I?” I asked aloud, mostly to myself as I started to once again get the urge to break down and cry.

“Hey, it’s okay,” she whispered. “We’ll get you home.” She started to stroke my mane as she continued, “You don’t need to panic. It’s going to be okay.”

“I’m trying not to panic,” I said breathlessly as I started to get the extreme urge to break down. “I’m really trying not to panic. I don't want to panic. It’s just I’ve never been so anxious in my whole life and I feel like I’m getting overwhelmed.”

“It’s going to be okay. Can you tell me why you’re feeling overwhelmed?”

“Cause I’m here right now and this isn’t a dream! That means God put me here and there’s nothing I can do about it! I’m going to be stuck here forever!”

The whole time I’d been here, I’d been avoiding the urge to cry. I really, really didn’t want to cry, but I could feel the tears forming once again and see my vision becoming blurry.

“Everyone’s probably afraid and looking for me now…” I choked out. “I’m probably never going to see my parents again... Oh, no...”

I couldn’t hold back anymore and started to cry. It was what I wanted to do since I first got here, but forced myself not to. But right then, I couldn’t stop myself from sobbing. I already knew I would be stuck here forever. I knew that yesterday, but forced myself to deny it. I was going to be trapped in this little girl’s body forever, and it was absolutely killing me.

It was only a few moments of crying, though, maybe a minute, before I realized that, not only was I was in a little girl's body, I was acting like a little girl, too. I was naturally a passive and more introverted person by nature, but I didn’t believe I was overly passive and timid like I’d been acting the last two days. Just like the name Ashley, the way I normally acted and how I acted recently was rubbing me the wrong way. I realized that I was being overly sensitive to everything around me, and while I felt like I had a good excuse to do so, I wanted to put a stop to it anyway.

“Stop crying,” I told myself silently as I rubbed my eyes and closed my eyes tightly in an effort to make the tears stop. “Stop being so sensitive. You’re a man, not the shy little girl you’ve been acting like.”

Cheerilee was almost convinced that the filly wasn’t attention seeking. Almost. However, the way she was able to quickly compose herself after suddenly bursting into tears was throwing her off and made her doubtful again. It seemed like it was real, but it also seemed like it was done to get herself sympathy. However, before she could ask about it, the filly started to speak again.

“I’m fine,” she asserted. “I’m fine. I’m sorry. It’s just- this is really stressful. I’m sorry. I'm being sensitive for no reason. I'm sorry.”

That was another thing about her. The way she spoke was… not right. It was like she was speaking to an adult. It wasn’t that noticeable, but it was there, and the teacher did think it was interesting. However, she opted not to ask about it as she started to speak again.

“You’re okay,” Cheerilee responded. “You're not being sensitive. Do you feel a little better now?”

“I mean, yeah,” Asher answered, blushing and continuing to rub her eyes. “I guess.”

“That’s good to hear. I do have a question though.”

“What?”

“You said before that God put you here. Can you tell me who that is?”

The filly looked up at her, confused. “You don’t know who God is?” she asked, seeming surprised.

“Ah, no? I can’t say I do. Is that a pony?”

“No, He’s… God. Like… the creator of the universe. Everything exists because of Him.” She saw the teacher looked confused, so continued. “He’s… the Great I Am. Omniscient and omnipresent. He’s not, like… well... He transcends reality. He’s... the God of Israel. That’s the best way to describe Him. The God of Abraham. But you don’t know what Israel or who Abraham is...”

"Can you tell me what he's like?"

“He’s benevolent and all powerful, filled with mercy and grace… Um, He’s the giver of life and raiser of the sun...”

“That sounds kind of like Princess Celestia to me.”

“I- I don’t- I have no idea who that is.”

Cheerilee frowned. Now she was almost certain that she was attention seeking, as there was no way she didn’t know who Celestia was. The only thing was that it honestly didn’t seem like she was looking for attention. It honestly seemed like she was being truthful in the things she said, but the teacher couldn’t be sure. It was either the filly believed the things she said, or she was a very good actor. It was all just so bizarre.

“Why don’t we go over to the school and give you a quick knowledge test?”

Author's Notes:

It's my birthday tomorrow! If you wanna get me a present, you can buy me a coffee.

Also, is Asher a human, or the cutest filly of all time?

Being Misunderstood

As she did every morning, Princess Celestia raised the sun.

It wasn’t a long process, taking only a few minutes to lower the moon and bring the sun high into the sky where it belonged. She quite enjoyed doing so for her little ponies, typically taking the time to paint a picturesque scene over Equestria. However, today she wasn’t quite as up to it as she normally was. She felt something… strange. Something out of place. She couldn’t tell what it was, but it made her uneasy.

This wasn’t the first time she got this feeling. She felt the same thing the previous morning, albeit much more intense yesterday than right now. She couldn’t tell exactly where it came from, but she had a feeling it was coming from Ponyville, the soon-to-be site of the one thousandth Summer Sun Celebration. She knew that this would be the year her sister would return, but it felt like there was something else, something she was missing. It felt like there was something else that wasn’t supposed to be there. It wasn’t necessarily bad, it was just… unexpected, and it was throwing her off.

Just as she had finished her daily ritual, a letter appeared before her, sent from her pupil, Twilight Sparkle, explaining how she believed that Nightmare Moon would return during this year’s Summer Sun Celebration. The princess knew she was correct of course, and wanted her to be the one to find the Elements of Harmony and bring her sister back to her, however, this feeling she had was making her anxious. She wanted her pupil to be a princess, for Twilight to succeed her in ruling Equestria, but she was nervous. She was afraid that whatever was causing her to have this feeling would interfere with that, whether on purpose or by accident.

“Calm down, Celestia,” the alicorn thought to herself. “Nothing’s going to happen. You’re just worried about Luna’s return. Besides, Twilight’s a very observant pony. She’ll notice if something is amiss and report it to me.”

With that, Celestia decided she would send a letter of her own back to Twilight, giving her the task of making friends, as well as making sure that everything in Ponyville was in order for her Summer Sun Celebration.

I was feeling a lot more self conscious and uncomfortable in public than I was yesterday as Cheerilee and I walked across the town to the school. I really didn’t like the idea of having myself… exposed like this. It was easy to ignore yesterday because I was forcing myself to believe I wasn’t here, but now it was much more difficult. Yes, I had fur and a tail, but just from what I could feel of myself and see on these ponies, I could tell it wasn’t covering me that well. The fact that we were getting smiles and waves from random people as we walked as though nothing was wrong somehow made it worse, and I found myself blushing in embarrassment.

“Stop it,” I told myself. “You’re being sensitive again. You need to buck up and stop being so sensitive. You’re not a little girl, and these are animals. It’s not different than being undressed in front of a dog. They don’t care, and there’s nothing to be uncomfortable about.” But even as I told myself that, I couldn’t help the fact that it bothered me.

The sun quickly rose as we walked, once again taking just a couple of minutes to get to the center of the sky as we entered the schoolhouse. Just like yesterday, it was unnerving to watch, and quickly brought a question to mind.

“How does the sun do that?”

“How does the sun do what?” Cheerilee asked back, confused.

“How does it get to the middle of the sky so quickly? It should take it several hours to get that far.”

“Oh, well that’s Princess Celestia. She raises the sun and the moon over Equestria each day.”

“Is she- is she a real person?” I got out nervously. “Who physically raises the sun?” The idea that a horse physically raised the sun in this world was freaky to me.

“Yes,” the teacher responded. “She’s a real pony who lives in Canterlot and rules over Equestria. But enough of that for now. Why don’t you take a seat while I get an exam out to you?”

“This is a test I give to everypony who moves to Ponyville for the first time,” Cheerilee explained as she made her way back to the filly, pencil and paper in her mouth. Asher briefly wondered how she was able to talk and keep the paper from getting wet at the same time, but quickly put the thought out of her head as the materials were set in front of her.

“We’ll start off with math since it looked like you were able to do that pretty easily yesterday,” the teacher told her as she glanced at the paper. “It shouldn’t be too difficult, but if you do find yourself struggling, you can just skip any problems you don’t know.”

“Uh, okay, um…” Asher trailed off shyly. “I’m sorry, um…”

“What is it?”

“Can you- can you write it out for me?” she asked, her cheeks going red.

“Write it out for you?”

“The answers, I mean,” she explained, then held up her hooves. “I don’t know how to use these things at all, so I won’t be able to write it out.”

“Well, why don’t you try first?” Cheerilee suggested. “Then we can see what we can do if you can’t do it?”

“Okay…” Asher grabbed at the pencil, trying to pick it up, but was only able to push it and make it roll around. “I was able to do it yesterday when I didn’t notice, but now I can’t…”

“That’s okay,” Cheeilee told her kindly. “Why don’t you use your mouth to write for right now, and we’ll work on hoof writing later?” She noticed the filly looked uncomfortable with that suggestion, but didn’t say anything, instead simply picking up the pencil and holding it between her teeth.

She moved to stand over her shoulder and watched her slowly work her way through the questions, noticing her speed being controlled almost entirely how long it took her to write out the answers. It took her nearly an hour to complete the front and back of the paper, but all of the answers she gave were correct, even on the most difficult questions that even some Ponyville adults couldn’t do.

“Well, it looks like you did a very good job, Asher,” Cheerilee applauded with a smile. “It looks like you’re a very smart filly! You did better than anypony else your age.”

“I- I’m no smarter than anyone else,” the filly answered back quietly. “It’s just- I’m an adult, so I already knew all of that stuff.”

Cheerilee’s smile dropped at that. She was almost ready to believe the filly was seeking attention, however, perfect math scores would be something very difficult to fake. However, she decided to play this out before coming to any conclusions.

“Well, you should be very proud of how well you did, sweetie, regardless of how old you are.” She watched her blush, and perhaps cringe slightly, as she continued, “Why don’t we move on to reading and writing?”

“Um, I… I can’t read,” Asher said, almost inaudible.

“What was that, sweetie?”

“I can’t read,” she said again, looking down at her desk. She didn’t know why she felt embarrassed. She was an alien from another world. It shouldn’t have been expected that she would even understand what they were saying, let alone be able to read their writing. Still though, she couldn’t help but feel ashamed of herself. She was self conscious of the fact that everypony else her age could read but she couldn’t, and she hated it. She hated how sensitive she was being now that she was self conscious of it, and hated how emotional she was. She was starting to get worried that her being a little girl was messing with her head, and hated that she couldn’t do anything about it.

“You can’t read at all?” the teacher asked, wanting clarification.

“Well, I can read,” she quietly explained. “I just can’t read whatever language you ponies write in.”

“Well, how about we get another sheet of paper, and you can show me what language you write in, hmmm?,” Cheerilee told her as she quickly went to her desk to grab it. She set it down over the test and continued, “You can just write a quick poem or song if you’d like, or a happy memory you have.”

Asher sighed, but didn’t answer, instead simply picking up the pencil and slowly scratching out what she wanted to write. As she did, Cheerilee quickly realized that what she meant was that she wrote and read in Unicorn Script. Still though, everypony should have known how to read regular Ponish, and the fact that she couldn’t wasn't ideal. It seemed she would have to spend time working with her on that. She also made a mental note to contact authorities in Canterlot, since that was where Unicorn Script was most common.

The other thing she realized was that her writing was… complex. She couldn’t tell whether what she was writing was a poem or a song, but it seemed like what she was writing was much more thought out than most foals her age would write. Despite how long it took and the paper’s relative messiness, she thought what was written was quite impressive, if a bit sad seeming.

He doesn’t live there
Anymore
He wasted precious time
The life he used to live
Is over
He lost some peace of mind

Little thoughts of heaven
Secretly waiting
To escape
You catch a glimpse of sadness
As he went down
This tragic way...

Now he’s saying

My life
Has washed away
I guess this is the end
I’ll take another ride
Some other day
And wait to breathe again

“This is very well written,” Cheeilee told me. “Can I ask what it means?”

I sighed again and answered, “It doesn’t matter. It’s not like you believe me anyway.”

“Asher…”

She sounded sad, and I couldn’t help but sniffle because of it. I was feeling very tired right then, and placed my chin on the desk and closed my eyes. It was only a few seconds though before Cheerilee spoke again.

“Why don’t we move onto history?” she said quietly.

“I don’t know any history,” I told her, keeping my eyes closed. “Like I said, I’m not from here, so I won’t know anything.”

“Well, why don’t you just start by telling me what you do know?” she suggested kindly.

“I mean… I know this is a place called… Equine? Or Equestria? And I’m pretty sure this city is called Ponyville. I know there are at least three types of ponies, and that I’m apparently an Earth Pony and should be able to use my hooves to pick things up. Um, and you told me that Celestia…” I shuddered, swallowed, and continued, “You told me that Celestia rules this world and physically raises the sun. And, um, and that God sounds a lot like her.”

I could tell by the look on her face that she was debating whether to ask me about God or the place I was from, before she finally said, “Why don’t you tell me about who 'God' is. Is he somepony you’ve met?”

“Well, um, met isn’t really the right word, uh… the best way to describe it would be that he’s all around us and is inside of me.” With my words, I watched her face contort as she tried and failed to keep a neutral expression. It took me a few seconds to realize how she was interpreting what I said, and when I did, I cringed too.

“He- he lives inside of you?” she asked, trying to keep her voice even.

“That didn’t come out the right way,” I responded quietly.

“Well, um… can you tell me what you meant when you said that?”

“I mean, uh, I mean…” I didn’t know why but the words I wanted to say were escaping me, and I was drawing a blank on how to clarify. “Let’s… let’s just move on please."

“Does he, uh, make you do anything you don’t want to do?”

“I mean, well, um…” I trailed off, thinking about me being a pony right then. “I- I guess technically, but I mean, I- I… I really don’t like the way these questions are phrased.”

“What kinds of things does he make you do?”

“Well, I mean, I- God doesn’t really make me do anything for the most part, but, um, I guess there are the Ten Commandments. I mean, I guess that’s… but I could choose to...” There was just… something keeping me from saying what I wanted to say the way I wanted to say it, and I didn't know what it was.

“Ten Commandments?” she asked. “Can you tell me what those are?”

I closed my eyes and quickly recited, “Thou shall have no other gods, thou shall not misuse the name of the Lord thy God, remember the sabbath day and keep it holy, honor thy father and thy mother, thou shall not murder, thou shall not commit adultery, thou shall not steal, thou shall not bear false witness against thy neighbor, thou shall not covet thy neighbors house, or his wife, or his slaves or his animals or anything else that belongs to him.”

There was a lot there for Cheerilee to pick apart in what Asher said. Some of it seemed reasonable enough, like don’t murder and don’t steal, but other things had her… concerned, like the filly’s mention of slaves and other “gods”, whatever those were. It also didn’t help that she seemed to understand what things like “coveting” and “adultery” were. However, she decided to start with something she felt might be easier to discuss.

“What is ‘the sabbath’?” she asked, trying to sound curious and not suspicious.

“The sabbath? That’s… that’s a day of rest from working.” Before Cheerilee could ask more, Asher explained, “In essence, it’s the weekend.”

“Ah, okay. What kinds of things do you do on the weekend?”

“Uhh… like I said, it’s a day of rest, but, I mean…” She tried to think of a way to describe it that would make Cheerilee understand without her getting the wrong impression. “Saturday is just a normal day really, and Sunday is when I go to church.”

“What is church?”

“Church is the place we go to worship God.” The filly watched the teacher struggle to keep a flat expression. “You’re taking this the wrong way…”

“I’m not taking anything in any way, I promise,” she told her. “But can you tell me what kinds of things you do while you ‘worship God’?”

“I- I- no, because you’re not- the way you’re talking is making it seem like you think I’m in a cult or being abused or something when that’s not what’s happening.”

“I promise I don’t think those things,” she lied as she put her hoof on top of Asher’s.

“Whatever,” she sighed. “I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”

“Why don’t you tell me about not being a filly? How long have you felt that way?”

“I don’t feel like I’m not a filly,” she started, working out that filly was what they used to say girl in this world, “I’m just… not. I’m physically not a girl. And you probably think I sound crazy because I think I sound crazy.”

“I don’t think-”

“Yes you do,” she interrupted. “It doesn’t make any sense that- ugh!” She felt herself becoming emotional again, clenching her teeth as tears started to form again. “I’m a man physically trapped inside this filly’s body, and I’m not supposed to be, but even saying that sounds so ridiculously stupid!”

“It’s not stupid to feel that way,” Cheerilee said as her hoof moved to Asher’s forehead, pushing her hair up some.

“Yes it is!” she cried. “It’s stupid, and I’m acting so sensitive because of it!”

“It’s not stupid, and you’re not being sensitive,” she insisted. “It’s okay to feel that way, and it’s okay to cry sometimes.”

“I’m sorry,” she choked out. “I’m sorry. This is all just getting to me so badly.”

“You don’t need to be sorry. It’s going to be okay.”

“I…” she got out, wiping her eyes and trying to calm back down. "I might as well stop being a baby and just get used to the fact that this won’t change. I...”

I stopped, thinking over what I was about to say, what I’d been thinking and saying this whole time. God put me here. I already knew that, but why? Why did He put me here? There had to have been a reason for me to be here. I didn’t think I’d be in this position for the sake of it.

I didn’t think I was here to convert these ponies or anything like that. They were animals, and animals didn’t go to heaven, so it’d be almost pointless to try. Still, though, I couldn’t be sure, so I decided I’d make a little bit of an effort later. But not right now, because everything I said was being taken the wrong way.

The most likely explanation to me was that my faith was being tested. Yes, that was it. My faith was being tested, to see if I could be strong. That had to be what was happening, and made the most sense to me. It explained why I was a pony now and a girl.

“Maybe he wants you to be happy, and thinks this is what will do it,” I thought.

I blushed at that thought and banished it almost immediately. This… situation wasn’t going to make me happy. I was already perfectly happy before, on the path to a relatively successful life, hopefully opening up my own business or becoming a general manager or higher somewhere after I finished college. I didn’t see how being a little girl would make me anything but upset and depressed. I didn’t want to be one, and never once had I ever thought about wanting to be one. I certainly didn’t want to be one now.

Did I?

“No, stop that,” I thought. “You know good and well you’ve never thought that, not even one time, so don’t try and say you’ve felt that way before. You’re letting this body distort your thinking.”

“Asher?” Cheerilee suddenly said, interrupting my thinking. “Are you feeling okay?”

“Huh? What?” I looked at her and saw that she looked concerned as she stared back at me.

“You were staring off for a good while. Is everything alright? You can tell me anything you’d like.”

“Yes, I’m fine,” I told her, my voice sounding way more timid and shy than I had intended. “I was just thinking to myself.”

“Was it anything you wanted to talk to me about?”

“No, it’s fine. It’s nothing.”

“Okay, well, in that case, I was wondering if it was okay if I asked you a personal question.”

“I… don’t see why not,” I responded, wondering where this was going.

“Well, actually, first, I know you said your name is Asher, but Nurse Redheart told me your real name is Ashley. I know you told her you didn’t like it, but is it okay if I called you that?”

“I…” Stop being a big baby. Stop being so sensitive. It’s a boy’s name. “Yes, that’s fine, I guess.” I paused, then before I could stop myself, added, “But only between us, please. No one else.”

“Okay, Ashley,” she started as I forced myself not to cringe at her immediate use of my name, “I was just wondering how often you wet the bed.”

I didn’t know what question I was expecting her to ask, but that wasn’t it. I’m certain that the confusion was evident on my face, because she continued, “I’m sorry. I know it’s embarrassing, but I need you to be honest please.”

“I… what? I don’t wet the bed,” I got out, blushing. “That was the first time since I was seven, and it wasn’t my fault.”

“Oh, I know it’s not your fault,” she said kindly. “Nopony is saying it’s your fault. Everypony has accidents, even adults. It’s just-”

“I didn’t have an accident,” I interrupted. “I- I thought I was awake when I was asleep, so I tried to use it then. I wouldn’t normally have accidents because I’m an adult.”

I watched her frown as she spoke again. “It’s okay to have accidents sometimes, Ashley,” she told me. “You don’t have to be embarrassed about that or make up excuses.”

“I’m not making up excuses! I’m really not this filly! I- ugh, I sound crazy!” I closed my eyes and took a breath to gather myself, then continued, “I held it all day yesterday cause I thought that yesterday was a dream, and then I wet the bed because I thought I was awake while I was asleep.”

She kneeled down to get down to eye level with me. “I’m not trying to make you upset, sweetie,” she said quietly, “but I need you to be honest because what you’re saying is making it sound like something really bad happened to you. Do you understand?”

“I’m being honest,” I said equally as quiet, “I just- what I want to say isn’t coming out the way I want it to and- and it’s making you think I sound crazy.”

“I don’t think you sound crazy. It’s just-”

“Can we just stop talking about this, please? I don't want to keep talking about this. I- I need to go to the restroom.”