Heroes

Arcane was sitting at a small dinner table in a crowded and dimly lit restaurant. The waiter had just brought them wine and had left to talk to another pair of ponies. A band of three ponies played classical music; Horseshoepin, if I remembered correctly.

The first time I’d seen this place, I’d assumed it was an atrium. Then, I remembered pre-war ponies had establishments where they would dine. Well, on special occasions only, since it was fairly expensive to do so on a regular basis.

A single candelabra with three lit candles stood in the middle of their table. Zephyr spoke up, “You know, you didn’t have to take me to such a fancy place. Really, a chill evening with you woulda been fine.”

“I know, I know,” my host replied. “It’s just that this place has good food. Besides, it wouldn’t have sat right with me if I took you out for hayburgers.”

“You kidding? Hayburgers are fucking delicious!”

Arcane fought hard to hold back a laugh, instead managing to just slightly giggle. “Alright, I’ll keep that in mind, then.”

“To be honest, as nice as this place is, it’s a bit too high class for my taste, anyway. I’m a simple mare with simple desires,” admitted Zephyr.

“I’m mostly the same, though I guess I do care about first impressions, so I wouldn’t ask someone out on a date somewhere that might be below them.” They both chuckled, but then fell into a silence that quickly grew awkward.

“You mind if I bring up a work-related subject?” asked Zephyr after maybe a minute. “It’s not that I wanna talk about it, it’s just that we might as well go for a topic we both have stuff to say about.”

“I mean, if you’re fine with it, I’m fine with it. I never really got the whole don’t-talk-about-work-outside-of-work thing, anyway. It’s not like the shit we can say becomes any less interesting just because we ain’t at work,” the blue unicorn answered.

“Well, you got a point there. I never really understood it either, truth be told. Anyway, did you hear of the plans for Stable 4?”

“You mean that it’s gonna be on Foal Mountain? Honestly, I don’t really get why they would make it so far removed from everything,” my host replied. She lifted her glass of wine to her lips. The first time I’d experienced this memory, I’d been disgusted by the taste. Now, I’d grown used to it, and even partly enjoyed it. Candy told me no when I wanted to find a bottle in the wasteland. She was probably right to do so; even if we did find one, selling it would be a much better idea than consuming it.

“Well, I think it’s pretty obvious that Mr. Pegas kinda just wanted a private bunker, with all of Stable-Tec’s technology. The higher-ups didn’t have any of that, though.” She leaned in, and my host did the same. “I overheard Sweetie Belle and the other two talking about this,” she whispered. “Apparently they reached some kind of weird compromise with him. He gets to choose how the stable is run, but Stable-Tec gets to choose the ponies who get a spot in it.”

“I mean, he would technically be entitled to a private stable, given that he’s their biggest investor and all. Oh, and he donated a fucking mountain,” Arcane responded.

“Well, yeah, but I guess even he would feel bad about it, I guess. They probably gave him the whole ‘we save ponies’ spiel and all. Since the stable is so far away from everything, it will open for habitation whenever it’s finished. It’s an interesting approach, and I wonder if they’ll do it for any other stable, rather than go with emergency evacuations,” explained the white pegasus.

She leaned back to take a sip of wine, then continued, “I’m a bit concerned about what he wants to do with the stable. Apparently he wants it to be some kind of odd social hierarchy, where the richer ponies get the positions of power. Kinda messed up, if you ask me. The execs only accepted it as an experiment, as far as I know,” Zephyr stated.

“Yeah, if this stable would end up being used, it would be Appleloosa levels of incest, probably even worse. It’s already a huge problem with stables in general, but if you add incentive for inbreeding, then you’re bound to end up with a really bad place. I would give them… two generations before they allow cousins to get married.” I was still impressed by the accuracy of that prediction.

Fifty years after the megaspells fell, the overmare at the time had decided that only immediate relatives counted as family in the eyes of the law. It just didn’t make sense to keep pre-war laws and morals, when eventually everypony in the stable would be kin. Though it was also clear that the rich and wealthy wanted a way to stay in power.

Still, from my perspective, it was hard to believe there was a time when you couldn’t marry your cousin. It was just that common in Stable 4. Then again, that only proved Arcane’s point, did it not?

“Yeah, I hope it never gets used either, but I’m starting to think it might be inevitable,” she whispered the last part even more quietly than before. I knew the reason. Well, I’d speculated one up. During the war, the Ministry of Morale was responsible for keeping the public’s mood and general attitude positive. I’d never learned of their methods, but given the context, I suspected they weren’t very pleasant.

“I’m pretty convinced none of the stables will ever see any use. Call me crazy, but I think we’re approaching the peak of the conflict. Doesn’t seem like the end is that far off. Like, how bad could it get?”

Zephyr looked at her in shock. “You really believe that?”

“Mhm!” responded Arcane. “I mean, given how much the conflict has been escalating recently, it’s only a matter of time before one of the parties tries to reach an armistice. Or just ends up winning.”

“Wait, then why did you join Stable-Tec? Just because it’s a good, well-paying job?”

My host leaned back into her chair and raised her tone to normal speaking levels again. “Basically, yeah. Was the best job in arcano-tech that wasn’t directly related to… things I didn’t wanna be a part of.” I suspected she meant the war effort.

“That’s what your cutie mark is about, right?”

“Yup! Well, to be exact, it’s about fine manipulation of magic.” I regretted not being able to see her mark. “It’s related to this special quirk I have. I’m much better at sensing magic than the average unicorn. Usually, you can only really feel it as it leaves your horn. Meanwhile, I can perceive it all around me.” Prior to viewing this orb, I’d thought this was a perfectly normal thing that we could all do. Turns out I was fairly special, somehow.

Zephyr was staring at Arcane, softly smiling while the unicorn continued her tangent. “It usually goes unnoticed, since only ponies with a high talent for magic tend to realise it. Although… the unicorns with this gift do tend to be better than average. Well anyway, I’m magically talented and happen to have this ability. So here I am.” She took a small break to breathe and have a sip of wine. “It’s extremely useful for understanding what happens inside a talisman.”

The next half dozen minutes were taken up by my host talking about talismans, spell matrices, and how to “debug” them. Zephyr seemed to understand even less from her speech than I did, but she kept smiling happily at the unicorn. Eventually, her speech was interrupted by a waitress, carrying their food.

As my host started eating, her date told her, “You know, you’re extremely cute when you nerd out like that.” In response, Arcane swallowed her food wrong and started coughing. Eventually, she hacked up the culprit noodle. I could feel her cheeks growing hot while Zephyr simply giggled gleefully. “You should see your face right now.” She chuckled. Arcane’s cheeks just grew hotter.

The next half hour was spent eating and chatting about unimportant matters. I always lost track of their conversation, given how boring it was. I didn’t care for either of their families or friends that much. Or even at all. Personal drama was simply outside my area of interest. Back in the stable it would have been my duty to keep tabs on things like that. Thankfully, I’d abandoned that obligation a few months ago.

However, what I enjoyed with this orb was the atmosphere. Even during the war, this place felt so much more alive than the wasteland or even Four. It was a memento of a time long gone. The music playing in the background, the idle chatter, the cleanliness, the size of the room. All of that came together to create such a delightful experience and change of pace from the wasteland. It was my escape.

Not to mention, the food was delicious. It was a seemingly simple dish. Tomato sauce and pasta. And yet it tasted so much better than anything I’d ever eaten before. The food back in the stable was so much blander, and I didn’t even dare compare what we could scrounge up in the wasteland to this. There simply wasn’t a comparison.

Yes, I had old world blues whenever I visited this orb, but it was very much understandable, given how much better everything here was.

I eventually exited the memory talisman to find that Candy had woken up and left the wagon. I enjoyed watching this memory of Arcane while I had to wait for whatever reason. Even though it did feel like I was intruding on a private memory, I knew that this sentiment was irrational, as I wasn’t hurting her or anypony else. Besides, what if it was? Do I really need to care?

The “pt2” orb, however? I felt extremely indiscreet while viewing it. The memory felt so much more private, so much more intimate. Experiencing it, I learned that, through the use of… tools, two mares could have sexual intercourse. However, I didn’t exactly understand how fertilisation was possible in that case, given what Candy had told me about reproduction.

However, I’d also learned that it wasn’t always painful. In fact, it had been the opposite of that. Maybe that was the explanation for their actions? Was it possible that recreational sex had been an activity that pre-war ponies engaged in? More disturbing still, could it be that even afterwards, ponies had continued to do so? I couldn’t exclude the possibility, and that unsettled me even more. My thoughts drifted to my father, and I almost retched.

Why did I have to keep thinking about this stupid orb‽ I wished I could just forget what happened in it. Forget about it entirely. Maybe once I figured out some of the spells from my most recent magic book.

In hindsight, there had been some references to recreational sex in the pre-war novels I’d read. Oddly enough, there hadn’t been any such references in the books I’d read back in the stable. Though maybe there was confirmation bias at play. Oh well, it wasn't like I could just go back and check. Wait, why am I still thinking about this. Go away, bad thoughts! I shook my head, attempting to force my mind into different avenues.

I decided to get up, but stumbled a little as I lost my balance. Not fun. I found myself staring into the mirror in the back of our caravan. Originally, I’d wanted to get rid of the object, because it kept reminding me of my scars, but I’d realised that recalling my screw-ups would probably help me avoid them.

The lower part of my face was slightly warped as part of the burn scar, though my fur had grown back over it. Overall, it wasn’t as prominent as the chemical burn from the toad abomination, where my fur was still patchy at best. A few smaller scars littered my face, but those were the least of my worries. No, what saddened me the most was my tattered left ear. It reminded me that my hearing would never go back to what it had once been. My eyesight had luckily recovered, despite the bright flashes, and I could even swear it was better than ever.

The last aspect of my physical appearance that had radically changed since the encounter with the sentry bot was my hair style. After a good chunk of my mane had burned away, Candy had suggested we equalise its length, so I’d opted for a buzz cut. It had slightly grown back, since, and I now sported a short mohawk—was that the correct word? I’d never been very good with names like that. At first, I’d hated it but as I got used to it, I was almost starting to like it. And it was much more convenient. No more would the wind brush a loose strand of hair into my eyes or mouth.

In just a few months, I’d gone from looking like a stable dweller to resembling the average raider; not even the average wastelander. I sighed. It wouldn’t help to dwell on my scars.

I turned around and opened the door, letting the stale air from the cart flow out and the daft smell of mildew from the garage in. Despite the odour, the freshness felt heavenly. We’d anticipated lower temperatures during the night and cranked the heater up. Unfortunately, we’d over-estimated the cold and ended up with an uncomfortably warm interior. The good news was that it would likely be warmer today. The bad news was that I’d gotten at least a few days closer to my next due bath.

I shuddered. Bathing in a cold region was not fun. Even with a barrel of hot water, drying off was far from pleasant in most cases. And barrels of hot water were hard to come by. The best way was usually to place it above a fire, but that required being outdoors to avoid suffocation due to the smoke. Electric heaters were suboptimal, as power was expensive. Warming the inside of a wagon to habitable levels was much easier than heating several hundreds of litres of water to comfortable levels.

Ugh, why was I daydreaming about bathing?

I picked up a novel and started reading until Candy would come back from her daily jog. Then, we would travel to the train station to see if anypony needed our services. It was an average day at best, but with Candy by my side, I was content dealing with the drabness of the wasteland.

Hopefully I would not get any of the trance-like feeling that had made itself common over the past few months. I was starting to suspect a reason for it, but I wasn’t sure. It almost felt like a different pony was taking over my body for a few hours at a time, but this idea seemed absurd. It was the only explanation I’d come up with, though.

"If it isn't our two wonderful mercenaries," greeted us Gust as we approached his desk.

"Please don't refer to us as that. We're caravan guards," replied my companion. Truth be told, we were closer to guides. We rarely got to kill anything other than a couple feral ghouls, but traders appreciated having somepony familiar with the region travel with them. We charged low enough that to a vast majority of caravans, it was well worth investing in our services.

"I know, I know. I just enjoy calling you that," admitted the griffin. He was in an unusually good mood today, wasn't he? It wasn’t common to see him crack jokes, dry as they might be. I wondered what happened.

"Anyway," continued Candy, "since there aren't many caravans around, we were meaning to ask you if you needed us for anything."

"Hmm… I don't think I have anything specific for you two. There hasn't been much happening lately—well, not much you would help with, anyway—and the important pathways are mostly ghoul-free. The latter is mostly thanks to you and your frequent travels." He stopped to think for a moment, then resumed, "There is something Gale would need the extra firepower for, but I don't think you'd be interested. I won't bother you two with the details, don’t worry."

By his tone, it probably involved attacking other ponies, and Candy wouldn't like that. Stars, even I disliked the idea. If I could avoid killing for long enough, maybe my mind would stop giving me those bloodthirsty fantasies. Just like my cravings for Mint-als had slowly dwindled, my desire for violence seemed to cool down as well. Maybe it was just like an addiction.

“How do you know we won’t be interested?” Learn to read implications, Candy.

“It’s about dealing with a group of bandits on the blue line. They’ve been messing with ponies in the region, though it was pretty mild until now. Well, if you can call armed robberies mild. Still, nothing murderous.” He shook his head in dismay. “But a few days ago they took some ponies hostage and demanded payment. All I could do was refuse, since agreeing to their terms would only empower them.”

Offended, Candy gasped. “You’d let those ponies die‽”

“Don’t have a choice. Like I said, if I accept to pay them, they’ll be able to buy better equipment and get allies. So far, they’re a weak group of slightly armed idiots. If we accept their terms, we’d be letting them become actual foes,” Gust stated, his tone much colder than previously. Bringing this up had clearly soured his mood.

“Oh…” muttered Candy. I knew what she was thinking. She realised how difficult of a position he was in. He couldn’t help out whoever had been captured. If he paid the bounty, he would only make the situation worse. If he attacked, the hostages would die if the assault was executed poorly. Even if they didn’t, Candy definitely didn’t like the idea of slaughtering ponies; bandits or no. “So, what do you plan to do?”

“Waiting to get more firepower. If I had more mercs under me, I would have already sent Gale to exterminate those pests, before they even got the chance to kidnap some innocent wastelanders. Trust me, I’m not happy about this.”

“Didn’t you say they’re weaklings? Why do you need reinforcements?” Candy asked. We didn’t really have a large fighting force, so Gust likely wanted to minimise casualties on our end. Wait, ‘we’? Candy and I aren’t involved in this.

“They are, but I can’t afford to lose any mercenaries. Just you two would considerably improve our odds, though I know I wouldn’t be able to convince you.” He stayed quiet for a few seconds, before adding, “You know what? It’s worth a shot. Please help us. You would increase our numbers by fifty percent. You’d be heroes for the ponies you’d save and for us.” So, he only had four mercenaries?

“Wait, only four? Last time I checked, there were six griffins living in New Detrot,” I interjected.

“I sent Blackbeak to Fillydelphia a few days ago to deliver a message, and you know I can’t fight,” explained the griffin.

“Because of your wing and leg? You can still hold a rifle, can’t you?” I asked.

“Yes, but I’m a sitting duck if I join battle. I can’t dodge shots, and I can’t move to a better vantage point, I’m just stuck.”

“This doesn’t sound too different from Iron’s situation. So you want others to risk their lives, but aren’t willing to risk yours?” challenged Candy, voice growing disdainful. She wasn’t fully correct, because I did have my teleportation. In theory.

“No, that’s not it, it’s just that—” He went quiet. “You know what? You’re right. I’ll join the attack, though only if you two join as well. Otherwise I’ll just wait for reinforcements. I just really don’t want to lose any of my Talons.”

“You think we would make that much of a difference?” inquired Candy.

“Oh yes. Just the extra firepower should make the attack a lot safer for us. You’re fairly competent, and having you would help us out a lot. Not to mention, the EFS spell you two have access to would make this even safer.”

“Hmm… Would you mind giving us a moment?” asked Candy, and Gust nodded in response. Candy leaned towards me and whispered, “I’m not very convinced. I like the idea of putting you in danger even less than hurting another pony. If these bandits weren’t such terrible individuals, I would flat out refuse, but given that we can actually help out good ponies by getting rid of the raiders, the decision becomes much tougher.”

“I don’t like the idea.” Not only did I not want to endanger Candy or myself, I also didn’t like the prospect of killing more ponies. Though mostly because I believed it would fix my addiction to violent murder. Did I really just think that? Besides, murder was wrong, was it not? “If we were short on caps, I’d consider it. As it is, it’s just not worth risking our lives over.” If the region ended up suffering from that group, we could always find a new home. As much as I enjoyed knowing my surroundings, I knew I could make any place my home as long as Candy was with me.

My left ear started ringing very loudly. Ah, I was wondering when you’d act up again. Wonderful.

She turned to face Gust. “I’m sorry, but we just aren’t heroes, or whatever you’re trying to paint us as. And since we don’t need the money right now, we will have to decline the offer.” I could tell she didn’t like saying this. She was a hero. Or rather, she had the potential to be one.

I didn’t, and I was preventing her from becoming one. And yet, I couldn’t imagine pushing her or myself towards heroism. We would be much happier if we lived a normal wastelander life, rather than trying to fix this mess that somepony else had created.

No, we weren’t heroes, and I wouldn’t let us become them. “In the end, we don’t really have a reason to help,” I added.

I started moving towards the notice board, Candy in tow, when the griffin spoke up once more, “Is that so? Then I think you might change your mind if you learn who the abducted ponies are.” His voice had a much darker tone to it than previously. A horrible chill ran down my spine. It couldn’t be. No. Please don’t. I shuddered.

“You can’t mean…?” mumbled my companion, disbelief and denial painted on her face.

Gust sighed deeply. “Yes. Banter and his friends. I’m… sorry.” My mind raced for reasons why he would have kept that from us. Had he wanted to keep us calm? Why?

Candy decided to voice my questions, “Why didn’t you tell us that sooner‽” She couldn’t keep her anger out of her voice, and stars, was she furious.

“Didn’t want to admit I was considering letting your friends die. Plain and simple, I did not want to tell two of the most promising ponies in the entire region that I would be complicit in their friends’ deaths.” He tried to remain stoic, but his tone subtly betrayed his emotions.

Candy and I looked at each other, and through eye contact, we could tell we were on the same page.

“You disgust me,” spat Candy. “We’re in, but you owe us ten days’ work worth of caps, understood?” He could only nod.

The radio tower was on top of a large hill. I’d seen it over the treetops while travelling along the tracks west of it. We were waiting in a small pre-war village at its foot for the scout to return.

The towns along the blue line were even smaller than the other villages scattered throughout the region. A single row of buildings on each side separated the tracks and road from the dense conifer forest. In the dark of the night, this area struck me as incredibly unsettling. On top of that, the feeling of being watched was stronger tonight than usual.

I still didn’t understand why it bothered me so much. I had no interest in saving these ponies prior to finding out who they were, and was perfectly content letting them get murdered by bandits. The only explanation I could think of was that I’d grown to care about them in a similar way to how I cherished Candy, though I barely knew them. Had I really gotten attached to them so quickly?

Well, it may be unfair to put it like that. While we’d only known them for two and a half months, we had spent many evenings around a campfire, talking about anything and everything. Since my injury, Lockpick and I hadn’t gotten around to her practice, and I was starting to worry she would think I hadn’t meant my offer. This settled it, after we’ll have saved them, I would actively put time aside to help Lockpick learn to sing. Maybe I could even learn that instrument spell that I’d seen ponies use in Mom’s Kitchen—New Detrot’s only bar—to accompany her. It didn’t seem too complex, after all. Certainly nothing somepony of my talent would struggle with. While I wouldn’t enjoy playing, helping my friend was definitely a good goal.

I shook my thoughts back to the here and now. This raised the question—how would we save Banter and his group? The issue was that they’d likely get killed once we started the frontal assault. I wanted to ask Gale to adapt our plan accordingly. My idea was to try and get them to safety by infiltrating the facility with my StealthBuck.

Apparently, those devices cast a camouflage spell on the user, so potent that one would appear invisible. If I could get them to safety first, that would be ideal. If not, I could always try to take out a few ponies from within their own lines, which could lead to a massive advantage for us. I would need a sharp knife to kill quietly.

Our scout finally returned, explaining that she hadn’t seen any hostiles along the road, only near the bunker at the bottom of the radio tower. The fact that it only had one entrance complicated my original idea, which I brought up as we were discussing a plan. Candy protested, and wanted to be the one to infiltrate their base with the StealthBuck, but a quick mention of my height and weight compared to hers convinced her otherwise.

A plan was devised. Our group would advance up the hill, our explosives expert checking for traps. Candy and I were to walk in the middle, and report if anything showed up on our EFSs. Of course, I would be ignoring the ghost bars that would appear whenever we were near a forest, but if any bar persisted, I would immediately tell everybody.

I was almost surprised that we didn’t encounter any bars hidden in the woods. I hadn’t expected any. Then again, it made perfect sense—why would they hide inside the forest full of deadly animals? Especially given that there were only half a dozen raiders at most—according to Gust. As we advanced, our lead spotted mines and disarmed them.

It was odd, though. All this talk of deadly animals, and we’d never gotten attacked by them. Still, we had no reason to risk going in there. It was just… The theory that animals didn’t attack ponies that stayed out of the forest seemed too convenient. And yet, it appeared true. What if there just weren’t any animals, and it was all just rumours?

Our scout informed us that the crossroads ahead was close to their bunker. Sure enough, red bars started appearing as we approached, and I informed the others.

Setting our plan in motion, I took off my saddlebags and accepted Candy’s shotgun, giving her my pistol in exchange. It wasn’t an equal trade, but it was better than nothing. I’d be the one amongst all the bandits, after all, so I needed it more than her. I also borrowed Gale’s combat knife. I plugged the StealthBuck into my PipBuck.

Immediately, my hooves turned transparent, including the device on them. Even the firearm in my telekinetic grip was almost invisible. I knew it was there, and I could tell the slight deformations around it. However, anyone a metre away from me would have a hard time noticing my presence, especially in the dark.

For the first time in months, I didn’t feel like I was being watched. Even the shred of doubt I experienced during normal times was entirely gone. It was absolutely liberating. Maybe I would get to sleep properly for once if I lay down with one of those active. I told the others I was going.

As I turned the corner, I realised that a spotlight was aimed at the road, and that I would have to go around it.

I advanced, carefully observing the ground for mines. I knew what they looked like, so I knew what to expect. In the dark, I was slightly nervous I couldn’t see them, and that I could stumble upon one at any moment. As I finally spotted one, my worries were slightly quenched, as it had been very noticeable. Still, I didn’t let my guard down.

I neared the illuminated ground and noticed that my eyes got used to the bright light, meaning I barely saw anything around the edges. This excluded the possibility of going around the lit area. I knew for sure they would have mines there, and I was almost blind. Going through the forest seemed like a bad idea, as branches would likely crack under my step. On top of that, traps would be even less noticeable. I would just have to trust my StealthBuck to do its job.

I slowly trotted through the bright road. The good news was that I could clearly see the ground, and mines would be more than visible on the grey concrete. However, the guards—which I couldn’t see due to them standing in the shade—concerned me. All I could do was count on my EFS, which claimed they were currently both stationary.

Eventually, I made it through the bright hellscape. Crossing back into the darkness proved to be nerve-wracking, as I had issues seeing the ground. Carefully, I stepped back into serene blackness. Once my eyes properly adjusted to the new lighting conditions, I spotted the guards. Both were sitting on chairs in front of the bunker’s entrance, each facing a different direction. An improvised metal roof extended over them. Presumably to defend them from airborne attackers. Makes sense, given they live near griffins. Or maybe I’m giving them too much credit and they just wanted shelter from the weather.

Those two would make escaping the bunker with the hostages much harder than expected.

Moving closer, I switched to plan B. It involved finding a way to make sure Lockpick and the others survived the encounter, and taking out some bandits if I could. Well, the first part implied finding them first. It would be difficult to locate them, considering that there were white bars everywhere inside.

My left ear started ringing, because of course it did.

Luckily for me, neither of the guards noticed as I snuck in-between them, too busy watching the road. One of them did seem to react to me passing by, but as he turned his head and saw only air, he shrugged and went back to looking at the road.

The heavy concrete door leading inside the bunker was open, likely because closing it was a chore. The interior was a single dimly lit corridor, with flimsy-looking doors on either side of it. Moving towards the back revealed that there was a single white bar in each of the rooms, except for the last one, which hosted three. Bingo.

I made my way towards it and hoped my prediction was correct. As I opened the door, I was relieved to find the three ponies lying on the ground, tied up and gagged. Well, I was relieved to recognise those three ponies. Out of them, only Petal seemed to be conscious.

She looked confused as I closed the door behind me. I whispered, “It’s me. Iron. I have an invisibility spell. I’m going to cut you loose, but we’re going to have to stay quiet until the griffins attack. Okay?”

I turned off my StealthBuck—so that the two others could wake up to a familiar face—and did as I’d promised, freeing all three from their ropes. They’d been here a few days, as was obvious by the red marks on their hooves. As Banter and Lockpick woke up, I undid their gags as well.

“Iron? What are you doing here?” asked the yellow buck.

“Helping save you. In…” I checked the time on my PipBuick. “Seventeen minutes, Gale and her Talons will launch a surprise attack on this place. Amidst the chaos, it’s likely that one of the bandits will try to leverage you as hostages. This is where I’m supposed to come in. I was supposed to get you to somewhere safe, but since this bunker is smaller than we’d imagined, I think I’ll just get you across the hall and hide there.” They quietly nodded. I was glad they understood the severity of the situation.

I led them across to the other room, to find that it was a bathroom. Smell of dried urine and feces assaulted my nostrils, and I grimaced despite myself. This raised the risk that somepony would accidentally stumble upon us.

However, I thought up a plan. I told the three to hide in the shower stall. It wouldn’t be comfortable, but it would prevent them from being immediately spotted. I would stay behind the door, ready to stab whoever entered the room. I didn’t know if I would be able to kill a pony with this before they made a sound, but it was better than using a firearm to start.

The next quarter hour passed extremely slowly. I didn’t dare chat with my friends, and was bored out of my mind. Given that none of the white bars seemed to move, however, allowed me to relax a little. I ended up focusing on the knife floating in front of me. I channelled a larger than usual quantity of magic into it, keeping it perfectly still. As the sink kept leaking, I realised something. In the perfect quiet, each droplet sent vibrations through my knife. It made sense, given that sound was nothing more than pressure waves travelling through the air. Still, it fascinated me that I was able to feel that. This kept me relatively occupied until the first gunshots echoed outside.

Immediately, all the white bars—save for my friends’—turned red. I heard shouts ring out throughout the bunker. “We’re under attack! It’s griffins!” yelled a pony, presumably a guard.

Another voice shouted, “Rusty! Get the filly! We might be able to negotiate out of this if we remind them we have a foal hostage!” called out a female voice. Just like Gale predicted. I heard hoofsteps in the hallway.

A moment later, Rusty called out, “Boss! They’re gone!”

“Keep looking, you retard,” came the boss’ rushed reply, and I could hear Rusty rummaging in the other room. What an idiot.

A few seconds later, the gunshots died down. Wait what? “What are you doing?” asked Rusty.

“There’s no way we’re winning this. Our best bet is to hole up and hope the griffins are content with killing most of us. If our bargaining chip is gone, all we can do is hope we can survive,” replied a female voice I hadn’t heard yet. So even they knew they couldn’t win an all-out confrontation with Gale’s Talons? Interesting.

“Uh, okay,” came Rusty’s dimwitted reply. “In that case, I’m gonna go take a leak.” Stars fuck me hard.

I needed to kill him. The question was whether to use the shotgun or the knife. If he was unarmed, I could afford to stab through his neck and hope the others wouldn’t notice. If not, I would need the quick reactions with my shotgun. I decided to focus on my firearm first. Most hostiles wouldn’t hear it through the heavy door anyway.

The door opened, and in stepped a rust-coated earth pony, gun in his muzzle. Given that he had a gun, I couldn’t risk it. Before he could react, I painted the floor with his brains. I giggled slightly. No, not now. Now was not the moment. Still, I couldn’t help but be invigorated by the sight.

The loud noise set off another bout of ringing in my ears, and Lockpick shrieked, then a pony started retching. Hoofsteps rang out. I needed to take the initiative. They knew I was here, and I wouldn’t manage to surprise anypony again like this. Worse, by staying here I was endangering the others. I stepped out from behind the door. As I emerged into the corridor, my head spun violently.

The pony that had been running towards the bathroom, a charcoal grey unicorn stopped dead in her tracks. Before I could react and pull the trigger, her horn glowed, yanking my shotgun from me. I’m going to murder you. Images of ripping her head off filled my mind, and I smiled despite the situation.

She pulled the trigger on her pistol, and a sharp pain pierced my chest. I would have screamed, but I didn’t have the time. I was going to kill her for taking my gun from me. Slipping into SATS, I queued a teleport behind her and activated the spell.

As she pulled the trigger again, I materialised behind her, picking up my dropped firearm. She tried to turn around, but it was too late. My off-center shot shredded her torso, and she screamed in pain, dropping her weapon. I chuckled and pumped my shotgun. Her magic activated in a last-ditch effort to save herself, but I finished her off with a shell to her ugly face.

I started laughing even harder, but immediately stopped when I realised that a white bar behind me had moved. Another one? I thought in delight.

I faced the pony, and the green bitch bolted into a room to my right. Oh no, you aren’t getting away. I ran after her, to find her… cowering in a corner.

“N-no! P-p-p-p-lease don’t kill me!” begged the raider, hiding her face behind her hooves. I shoved them aside telekinetically, and made her look at me. The terror on her face was absolutely delightful. “I-I swear! I w-won’t-t do b-bad things anymore,” she pleaded.

I couldn’t contain my grin anymore, and her face grew even more horrified. I almost blasted her skull, but changed my mind at the last second. I let go of her, aimed the shotgun at her torso, and pulled the trigger, giggling happily as her front hooves exploded in a shower of lead, gore, and bone. A chunk of meat bounced off the wall, landing on my face. By then, I was cackling maniacally, as she was howling in pain, which only redoubled my laughter. If murder was wrong, then why was it so fun?

Stars, had I missed this! Why had I ever decided that I shouldn’t kill? This was so much fun. Maybe I’d regret it later, but right now? I was feeling ecstatic. There was nothing better than being me right now. There was nothing stopping me anymore! A fit of coughing interrupted my guffaw, and I felt the familiar taste of blood in my mouth.

It was then I noticed the white bar approaching from behind. Another target?

I was snapped back to reality as Lockpick poked her head around the corner, levitating a pistol in her orange aura. I couldn’t shoot her. She was my friend. I felt my weapon fall out of my grasp and my vision grow dim. Seeing me, she dropped the pistol and ran over. My head hit the ground before she even made it to me.

I was walking next to Candy, behind the group of Talons and ahead of Banter and his group. My chest was sore from where I’d been shot. Luckily for me, Lockpick had saved my life by using the healing potion that I’d kept in my harness. I’d neglected telling Candy about it, to avoid worrying her needlessly, and she hadn’t commented about the bloodstain on my jumpsuit.

I still couldn’t believe I’d ignored a bullet wound this severe. Tunnel vision had gotten the better of me, and it scared me. How much closer would I keep getting to death until I stopped making stupid mistakes? I sighed, thinking back to the times I’d gotten hurt over the past three months.

Encountered raiders before knowing how to wield a weapon. My mistake was to assume I could sneak up on them without getting noticed. My curiosity was also to blame.

Next time was when I’d gotten attacked by a ghoul. There, the error had been that I hadn’t been careful enough of something I didn’t know, and also that I hadn’t trusted Candy properly. Had she been in front of me, neither of us would have gotten hurt.

After that… the toads. I shuddered. My mistake had been… what? It wasn’t so obvious. I’d already thought about it. On the surface, the answer was simply that I’d practiced magic when I shouldn’t have, but there had to be an underlying, more profound reason. I let my mind roam freely. The only deeper cause I could think of was curiosity. Maybe I did have a problem with that…

Then, the sentry bot. That one was my biggest screw-up to date. Curiosity had played a big role in that one, but it wasn’t the only reason things turned out so badly. Overconfidence and ruthlessness certainly didn’t help. Had I not decided that I absolutely needed to know what was in the old Stable-Tec building, I would have been fine. If I had been more careful when walking around, I wouldn’t have gotten hurt. If I hadn’t assumed I could easily take out any of the hostiles on my EFS. Or even if I’d just thought my attack through properly, instead of blindly blasting the robot with explosives. There were several ways I could have coordinated my movement with Candy. I could hav—

My train of thought was interrupted as the mare in question spoke up, “You know, I’ve been thinking… I… I’d like to keep doing this. Being a positive influence on a region. We’re already murderers. What difference would it make if we kill three or three dozen, if the latter would improve the world?”

She took a short break to breathe, during which I interrupted her, “Candy, I don’t want to play heroes.”

“No, no. I’m not exactly sure what that would entail, but it’s not my intention either. The wasteland doesn’t need well-meaning freelancers. The wasteland needs order. It’s what I realised when working with Gale. Ponies will stop doing terrible things to each other when there’s no more reason to do so. I want to join a group of mercenaries and help the world in a lasting way.”

I was fine with that. If we were compensated for our efforts, we could eventually retire with all the caps we’d made. “That’s more reasonable.” I telekinetically touched the sore spot on my chest and added, “I’d like to get some proper barding, though. At least something that would protect my vital points from shots.”

We later asked Gust if he wanted to hire us long term. As suspected, he didn’t really have any open spots. He said he could employ us two days a week at most.

When asked about what we could do instead, he gave us a contact. A griffin female by the name of Stern, who operated in the East. She worked with an earth pony stallion who was aiming to “build a new Equestria”. This was enough to convince Candy, and, by extension, myself.

Many weeks later, Candy and I were sitting on the edge of the roof of a ruined building at the outskirts of Manehattan. We’d hidden our caravan in the building’s garage, as we’d grown used to doing. We were watching over the dimly lit ruins of the city. In the distance, a single building stood over everything else—Tenpony Tower.

Despite the late hour and the slight breeze, the temperature was still bearable. Of course, my patched up Stable-Tec jumpsuit helped. I’d taken off saddlebags and barding—light pieces of kevlar that only covered the most important parts of my body—and was enjoying how liberating it felt. I didn’t understand how Candy could wear hers almost all the time.

The air smelled of dust, an odour I’d gotten used to once we left the region of Detrot, which was mostly made up of mud, dead grass and snow.

With my damaged hearing, all I could hear was the wind, though that was still more quiet than I was used to.

With how understimulated my senses were, it was no surprise that the feeling of being observed was overbearing. I tried hard to ignore it, but the sensation kept floating up to the top of my sea of thoughts.

As we were drawing closer and closer to Fillydelphia, I was having more and more doubts about this choice of career. Gust had sent a message, and we were expected. Of course, we’d be treated like the rookies we were, but that bothered neither Candy nor I.

No, what really messed with my confidence was my mental health. I sighed, taking a deep breath. “Hey, Candy?”

“Hmm?”

“I’m… having second thoughts about this whole thing. Us being actual mercenaries and all,” I admitted.

“Don’t worry, we’ll do fine. I’ve seen you shoot. We’re more than capable.” Even if that was true, that wasn’t why I was so scared.

“No, Candy. I… I’ve been keeping secrets from you. Bad secrets.”

She took her eyes from the nighttime landscape to look me in the eyes, shocked concern spread all over her face. “Have you been taking Mint-als again?” she asked.

I shook my head. I could feel tears welling up. I didn’t want to admit this. I didn’t want to talk about this. I didn’t want to think about it. I didn’t want to ask for help. I didn’t want to admit I was weak. I didn’t want to admit I was messed up. I— “Then what is it?” Her voice was now full of the same serene, caring worry that I loved so damn much. The tears started flowing.

“I’m not fine, Candy,” I declared, sniffling, still holding up sobs. “I’m a bloodthirsty murderer who’s slowly losing every shred of her sanity!” I blurted out.

Candy tilted her head to the side, and her ear flopped. Confused, she raised an eyebrow. “Say that again?”

I thought through what I had to tell her. There were three things I needed to bring up. I breathed in deeply in an attempt to calm myself enough to confess this.

There was a lot to unpack, so I started with the least bad, but also the one that was most likely to make her despise me. “I… I… I enjoy killing. I see a pony’s skull blow up in a shower of gore and blood, and I’m happy. I don’t understand why. I like watching the fear in my enemies’ eyes when they know they’re about to die. I know it’s not normal. I know I shouldn’t feel this way. I know I’m a bad pony.” Tears were streaming down my face while I cried. I whimpered pathetically, “Please don’t hate me…”

To my surprise, all she did was hug me. How was this mare so perfect? I knew she hated cruelty, so how could she accept me despite mine? “Shh, it’s okay, Iron.” She caressed my back, holding me close. “A wise mare once told me; you aren’t your thoughts. The only thing that matters are your actions. Enjoying killing is not healthy, but if you haven’t killed for the fun of it, then things should be fine.” Uh oh.

“That’s the thing… I think I have. Back when we were taking care of those raiders. One of them… I think she had a change of heart. But… in the heat of the moment… I didn’t hesitate a second before slaughtering her.” No, that was terrible wording. That made it seem like I didn’t know exactly that she wasn’t hostile. I was making it sound like I hadn’t shot her in the chest to hear her screams of agony. And yet… I didn’t dare correct myself. I was on thin ice. She still loved me. I had to keep it that way, no matter how terrible a pony I was in reality.

“She was a raider. Pony rules don’t apply to them. She accepted her fate the moment she turned towards that life.” I kept forgetting she had this cold, hateful side that she only showed when she truly believed someone was beyond saving. I shuddered. I would try hard to never give her a reason to hate me.

We stayed like this for a few more minutes, her gently brushing my back with her hooves while I worked up the courage to drop a bomb on her.

Eventually, I backed away from the hug. I’d told her what was most likely to upset her, now it was time to tell her what fucking terrified me. I would start with the most immediately distressing one. “There’s… other things I wanted to tell you. The scary part of all of this is that my bloodlust is the least of my mental problems.”

For a split second, her serene smile vanished, but she quickly corrected it. “What do you mean?” she calmly inquired.

“I always feel watched. At first, it was just occasionally. I would feel like somepony was somewhere, observing me. With time, even when I wasn’t feeling observed, I still had the sneaking impression somepony might be stalking me. Now I can’t tell the two impressions apart. It’s eating me up on the inside.” I was shaking. I was sobbing. I wanted this to stop. I wanted another StealthBuck.

“When did you first feel this way?” asked Candy, voice full to the brim with concern. At least I wasn’t the only one who was put-off by my paranoia.

“Around the time we came close to Old Detrot. I was certain somepony was following us, but my PipBuck wasn’t confirming it. I figured I was hallucinating or imagining things,” I stated, trying hard to stop my shaking and calm down even a little.

“How bad is it right now?”

“Extremely bad. It’s like somepony is standing on the roof with us. It’s what set off this entire conversation. If I didn’t know any better, I would think there’s somepony behind me.”

Suddenly, a dark chuckle rang out in the cold night air, chilling me to the bone. “So you are able to sense Us through an invisibility spell. Most impressive.”

“Who are you? Show yourself!” shouted Candy. I was paralysed with fear. How. What. I…

“Our name is of no importance to you.” Suddenly, a huge blue figure appeared out of thin air. An alicorn. Princess Luna? No, the monarch had died close to two centuries ago, and those colours did not match the nightly regent’s. However, her usage of the royal We threw me off.

The figure continued. “Come with Us, little one," she demanded.

"Why would I want to do that?" I asked defiantly, desperately trying to sound collected and unbothered.

"The Goddess accepts all who are gifted with magic as strong as yours. Our original plan was to take you in once you achieved finer control over your magic. However, your extraordinary sense rekindled Our interest in you," explained the alicorn.

That was creepy. So she had been the one watching me, and I'd just felt her presence? I wasn't crazy? No. I doubted all of this paranoia I'd experienced had been caused by just her proximity. Sometime along the way, I'd started hallucinating the feeling. I knew this because the sensation was less concrete sometimes than others, I just hadn't realised it until now. I'd been too convinced I was wrong to notice the threat.

Wait, was she a threat? The alicorn was shady, that much was certain, but she didn't seem to want to hurt me. If anything, this sounded like an offer. What would happen if I refused it, though?

"You still haven't told me why I should care," I deadpanned.

"Because you do not really have a choice, little one," she answered, aggression latent in her tone. So my original impression had been correct.

"I… see…"

I pretended to check something on my PipBuck. Then, when it faced the right way, I blinded her using the flashlight. I unharnessed my shotgun, pouring ample magic into my grip, to prevent her from ripping the firearm out of it. Alicorn or no, I wouldn't let her get away with threatening me.

Right as I was ready to fire, though, my telekinesis was utterly and violently overwhelmed, sending a wave of hurt through my horn. My weapon plummeted twenty storeys. Next, my harness was also stripped from me, following the same path as the gun.

Unarmed, I cowered before the giant mare. I was no match.

Candy ran at the alicorn in an attempt to incapacitate her. The latter effortlessly threw her aside, and the lavender pink unicorn hit the ground head-first. As expected, she got up, blood spilling down her face from her forehead. Despite her injury, she stared down the taller mare.

She stood in front of me, in an act of defiance. Her telekinesis reached for her shotgun. No, please don't. You're no match. I wanted to say it outloud, but I was frozen. I needed to go with the alicorn. "I…" I started, but it was too late. The blue glow overpowered the pink one, and the combat shotgun pointed at Candy.

"Stop!" I cried out, but my shout was drowned out by the roar of the firearm. Candy stumbled backwards, but didn't fall on me. Instead, she stood over me. Blood dripped from her wounds onto me. She leaned on her left leg.

"I won't let you have my sister!" screamed Candy.

"Please, stop," I begged pathetically, my voice weak. Neither of them heard me, or neither cared, and the alicorn shot again. Candy was pushed backwards once again, and her hind half went over the edge.

Before she fell, I caught her right front leg in my aura. She was heavy. Her armour and equipment added a lot of unnecessary weight as well. No, I couldn't lose her! I poured my soul's worth into my telekinesis, and she stopped falling. I started pulling her up, sparks flying from my horn. Pressing my eyes shut, I redoubled my efforts.

Suddenly, her weight dropped drastically. My stomach churned at the implications. Had I been holding only her PipBuck, only for it to come loose? Had she grabbed the ledge? Was she safe? I doubted it, but I wanted to believe it.

I opened my eyes, and saw that I was holding Candy Cane's detached leg in my telekinesis.

I screamed.

A flash of purple light lit up the rooftop, and I felt the familiar currents of an arriving teleportation spell. Next thing I knew, I was enveloped by the same violet aura. I tried fighting it, but it proved to be a fruitless endeavour. Opposing the currents directly was utterly impossible.

Then, the mysterious figure started channeling a teleportation spell. Again, I tried to cancel out the spell, but I was overpowered. I had to save Candy. I knew she was still alive. If I gave her a healing potion or two, her wounds wound close. We wound set her broken bones, and she would be fine. I just needed to get out of this grasp.

As the purple mare's cast came closer and closer to its end, I had a brilliant idea. When the energy started travelling, I made my last-ditch effort. I pushed hard against the flow, redirecting it towards the tower's base. Unfortunately, my opponent noticed this and pushed back. I poured my all into my horn, and it started sparking so much I was worried I would damage it. That didn't matter, though. Then, the spell popped, and everything went dark.

I couldn't see anything around me, and my EFS was devoid of all activity. I stood there for stars only knew how long, trying to grasp the situation. Tears were freely flowing down my cheeks.

I wailed.

Footnote:

New Perk: Teleportation Redirection — Your flawed way of teleporting has taught you how to forcibly redirect a teleportation spell to another location within the original range.

Author's Notes:

Author’s note: Ooops, dropped some angst.
Not gonna lie, I loved writing this chapter. Between both action scenes and Iron’s meltdown, it was simply a delight.

As usual, huge thanks to my editor, EverfreePony, and my basically-co-author, SnakeEye.

(As an aside, it’ll be a while until I start publishing chapters of this fic again; I wanna get a few chapters written before I publish them, so that I can freely change details to avoid retcons. If you don’t mind retcons, feel free to shoot me a dm if you want in on the pre-reader squad)