My Little Pony: Friendship is Magicka
by GaruuSpike
Chapters
Chapter 1
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magicka
EDIT: Thank you anonymous person for suggesting a better name! This is a crossover with the awesome indie game Magicka.
For those who are interested, Magicka can be bought off Valve's product distribution system, STEAM, for the PC, for $10. I suspect it is also available for a similar price off Xbox Live Arcade.
This story does not abide to the actual story of Magicka.
I do not own My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic or Magicka. Those belong to Hasbro, Paradox Interactive and Arrowhead Studios.
Jordan Lucky
Enjoy!~
Chapter 1: Briefing
Twilight Sparkle was simply reading a book in her study, a rather dirty book that Rarity told her to read, attempting to comprehend its meaning. After a few chapters and the first sex scene, she slammed the book closed and put it in a hard-to-reach place in her library, an enormous blush dominating her face. Spike, her baby dragon, walked up to her, concerned.
"Twilight, are you okay?" He asked. The purple mare simply stared up at him from her curled-up position on the floor. "Twi-" Spike belched out a green flame mid-sentence, making a letter appear, no doubt from Princess Celestia. Twilight grabbed it out of the air and quickly opened it up. It read:
Dear Twilight Sparkle,
I need you and your friends to try out a new type of magical practice that I've discovered. It involves the conjuration of different elements and using them together. Don't worry, your friends don't need to be Unicorns to use it... Please come as soon as possible, I can barely contain my excitement!
Princess Celestia
Twilight stared at the letter for a moment. She couldn't turn down a request from the Princess, but she hoped this wouldn't be dangerous...
Half an hour later, Twilight and her five friends stood in the courtyard with the Princess, preparing for some sort of speech. Fluttershy was sitting down, Pinkie was bouncing up and down, Rainbow Dash was shuffling impatiently on her hooves, Rarity was flaunting her mane and didn't seem to care too much, and Applejack was showing genuine interest.
"Hello, all of you. As I presume Twilight has already explained to you, I have picked you six to test out a new form of magical arts that I have discovered deep within the royal library." Celestia announced. A small book appeared in front of her. "The Havindr Mystic Arts, by Vlad, the Dashing Rogue That Is Most Certainly Not a Vampire." She squinted. "Wow... that is quite a mouthful. Anyhow, you all need to wear these robes," she conjured six differently-colored robes for them, "these staves," she conjured six identical staves with crescent moon designs on the tips with floating crystals, "and...It says here you need a sword of some sort, but we don't really have any of those... Oh well."
Rarity was examining her robe, which was white. "Oh, my... Your Majesty, these robes are design for bipedal creatures, which we are not!" She pointed out, alarmed. Celestia merely chuckled.
"I guess you're going to practice standing and walking on your hind legs, then." Everyone looked appalled, except for Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy, who could support themselves on their hind legs pretty easily by using their wings as counterbalances. Rainbow's smug look didn't last long, however; upon closer inspection, she saw that the robe did not have wing holes. And it looked rather tight... Her wings would be useless!
"E-erm, princess, I'm not gonna be able to fly with this on..." She stated.
"You'll live." Celestia chided, smiling. "Now put them on and grab the staves." Everyone did as so, although holding the staff was rather difficult.... It turns out the robe completely cancelled out any unicorn magic. It was unaffected by it, and disabled the magic of anyone wearing it. Twilight had a dark purple robe, Fluttershy had a yellow robe, Pinkie had a...pink robe, Dash had a cyan robe, Rarity, as previously said, had a white robe, and Applejack got an orange robe. Oddly, upon donning the robes, all six ponies found it incredibly easy to stand on their hind legs. It was as if the robes had magical properties to them...
"The robes have magical properties to them," Celestia announced. Twilight resisted the urge to facehoof. "They are immune to and cancel out any unicorn magic, paralyze the wings of pegasi, and give magical structural support that enables the wearers to stand on their hind legs with little to no difficulty." The six normal ponies marveled at their outfits. "Now, pick up your staves." She requested for the second time, opening the book floating in front of her.
"Now hold on just a darn minute, if these here robes make all the non-earth ponies equal ta' earth ponies, then why wear 'em? Granted it could be for the hind legs thing, but..." Applejack interjected. Celestia looked at her, and the orange earth pony stepped backwards, a tad frightened that she said the wrong thing.
"The robes enable you to use this sort of magic. Now, listen everypony, this sort of magic requires you to chant a little. Not a lot, but still some. There are eight elements, Water, Life, Frost, Fire, Earth, Arcane, Lightning, and Shield. You need only to say the name of the element to conjure one charge of it. Different element combinations make different spells. When you are ready to cast, desire for the element charges to come together in front of you, and that will generate the spell." She paused. "The spells here are mainly offensive. Please be careful to not kill eachother... because you can do it quite fast. Fortunately, some of the most hyper-advanced spells that we know of are the most basic in this form of magic. For example, the Resurrect spell is a simple chant of 'life, lightning, resurrect!'. This means if you do accidentally kill eachother, you can bring eachother back quite easily." She smiled. Everyone was interested now.
"There are three-...no, four ways you can cast a spell. In front of you, around you, on yourself, or you can enchant your sword with it-oh..." Celestia facehoofed as she realized why the text instructed the users to have swords. Oh well...
Rainbow Dash had finally gotten a hold of her staff, and was marveling at it. "So... we just chant the names? Is that it?" She asked. Celestia nodded.
"You may only possess five at a time, however." She added. Rainbow nodded as well.
"A...arcane?" Fluttershy's quiet voice came from under her yellow hood. A small, volatile-looking red light appeared near her and started orbiting around her figure. She looked at it as it moved, supposedly smiling under her hood. Everypony else had taken their hoods off, and Applejack shortly convinced Fluttershy to do it too. Celestia started to leave.
"I'll leave you to experiment. Tomorrow you will all need to venture into dangerous Gryphon territory to settle a dispute and organize a treaty." She said, smiling, taking her leave and leaving the six garbed ponies alone in the courtyard.
"So...uhm.... where do we start?" Twilight muttered. She noticed Celestia had left the book for them, and she trotted over on her hind legs and picked it up, opening it. It contained advanced spells that required specific conjurations and incantations.
"Heh...heh heh.... A-heh... I feel taller...!" Rainbow Dash chuckled, turning her head to look next to her, at a potted plant that towered over her moments ago. By all means, due to her standing on her hind legs and her entire torso being added to her height, she was definitely at least 70% taller.
"I reckon ya' ARE taller, Dash!" Applejack exclaimed happily. "We all are!" The group shared a chuckle.
"Arcane...arcane..." Fluttershy muttered to herself, spawning more red lights that also orbited around her. They were so pretty!... She brought them in front of her, placing both hooves in front of her, and a large red laser shot out from the focal point, carving a burnt line into whatever it was hitting. Unfortunately, Dash, who was too occupied with being taller, ran into her laser. Dash screamed for just a few seconds, her robe being burnt apart, before her body swelled and exploded in a gory mess. Everyone's jaws dropped, and Fluttershy began crying in a similar fashion to when she thought she had killed Philomena, the Princess's pet phoenix. Everypony began panicking and muttering to themselves, before Twilight remembered what the princess said about the Resurrection spell.
"Everypony, calm down!" Twilight exclaimed, attempting to draw everypony's attention.
"T-T-T-Twi, sh-she j-just k-killed Dash!" Applejack muttered, trembling and shaking.
"Wait! Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash isn't gone. Remember when the princess said that the resurrection spell was the most simple spell to cast?" Everyone immediately calmed down somewhat, including Fluttershy. Twilight smiled at her.
"Just cast life, then lightning, then say 'Resurrection', and Dash will be back." Twilight casted life & lightning elements herself as she said that sentence. She guessed it didn't turn out what context you said them in; it would still conjure the elements. The advanced spells—the book called them "Magicks"--did not work this way and required the user to shout them.
"O-okay... L-life, lightning... R-resurrection!" Fluttershy said hesitantly, and the elements swarmed into a pattern of light around her. A pillar of light immediately shot down from the sky and hit a spot on the ground, where Rainbow Dash, body & robe restored, jumped out of the pavement. The rainbow-maned pegasus shook her head to clear it.
"Woaahhh...... What... What just.... where was I?" She asked, her eyes containing a small amount of derp before she blinked it away. She saw the enormous blood spatter on the ground, before a hint of terror entered her violet eyes. "Oh no..." She looked around; all five of her friends, plus herself, were alive and okay. Her terrified expression turned to one of confusion. "Wait...where'd all this blood come from?"
Rarity coughed. "W-well, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy accidentally destroyed your body with a large red laser, and then resurrected you." She smiled nervously. Dash looked at the yellow-robed pegasus, who backed away slightly. Dash fell silent for a few moments, and Fluttershy closed her eyes, expecting the worst.
"That....was....AWESOME!" Rainbow yelled with delight, throwing her front hooves up into the air. Fluttershy opened her eyes. "I don't even remember it that well! And it happened so fast, but here I am now!" She giggled to herself, something nopony had seen Dash do for quite a while. The contagious nature of the action caused everypony else to start chuckling as well. "I-It was like LIGHTNING! I love magic!" Dash cheered. A little lightning conjuration appeared and started orbiting her, but she didn't seem to notice.
"Oohhhhh....." a moan came from near where the blood spatter was. They saw Pinkie collapsed on the ground, attempting to stand up. Her robe was slightly tattered. Everypony had been wondering why she wasn't bouncing around or complimenting on anypony's antics...
"Oh... Pinkie, I'm so sorry, you must've been caught in the blast!" Fluttershy apologized, putting both hooves to her mouth.
"Uhhh.....uhhmmm... Life?" Applejack said, and a green light appeared near her. She brought it in front of her and it shot a laser that was similar in behavior to the one that just killed Rainbow. However, it repaired anything it hit, and when she tilted it to strike Pinkie, her body glowed green, her robe repaired itself, and she promptly stood up, grinning wildly. The pink earth-pony bounced to her and tackled her.
"Ohhh thankyouthankyouthankyou Applejack! I dunno what happened, I was near Rainbow Dash and when she exploded it hurt and I couldn't get up, but then I heard a PSHIIII sound and I got this warm feeling inside and I could stand up again!" Pinkie rambled. Applejack eventually bucked her off, but she landed on her feet. Erm, her hind legs, to be precise.
The group continued to practice with the new form of magic, occasionally killing eachother, but a simple resurrection spell fixed that. Surprisingly, Fluttershy had the best aim out of all of them, killing every other pony at least twice each. Rainbow once got a little too giddy with the lightning and shocked herself to death directly after a water-element splash-fight with Pinkie. Applejack destroyed a good amount of the statues in the courtyard with giant boulders, Pinkie launched herself into orbit with water-element landmines, and Rarity mostly played with the Shield element and all the possibilities that came with it, including the earth & ice armor, which she actually thought was fashionable. Twilight preferred to experiment with the Life element and the regenerative properties it had. It took them a while, but each pony learned how to mix elements and get different results. Hours later, virtually the entire courtyard (and the two horrified guards) were coated in pony blood, but not a single person was injured.
"Arcane, shield!" Pinkie chanted, creating a set of landmines. She used the same spell on herself to gain an arcane immunity aura so she wouldn't be killed by the landmines, and then stepped on them. The resulting blast launched her on top of one of the castle towers, where she landed with a resounding thunk before yelling down at her friends with a "HEEEYYYY!!" and a hyperactive wave. Rainbow Dash was carving the message "200% COOLER!" into the wall with a rather strong beam spell, fire-water-lightning-arcane. The group soon learned that certain elements cancelled eachother out, and learned to not use them together, or use them against eachother (it caused an explosion). The whole group was laughing and having a ton of fun with their new magical abilities, experimenting with new spells, having water fights, and Applejack unfortunately joining in with Pinkie's landmine stunts, all while destroying the courtyard and leaving two pegasus guards scared to death and curled up next to the gate. The large door to the castle opened just as Twilight and Rainbow Dash were about to shoot two arcane spells at eachother to see who was stronger, revealing the princess, who gasped at what they had done to the courtyard.
Literally the ENTIRE COURTYARD was stained red, with various chunks of pony guts strewed here and there, and not a single statue, plant, or decoration remained. Celestia simply stared, wide-eyed, mouth open. Everypony suddenly looked & felt guilty. The air reeked of blood.
"Oh hi Princess Celestia, we're sorry for destroying your courtyard and all, we were just having so much fun!!~" Pinkie appealed, bouncing up and down.
"Did...Did...Did a massacre take place here?! Did you kill all my guards or something?!" Celestia shouted, losing her formality for a moment, noticing the bloodsoaked landscape. Pinkie waved a hoof at her.
"Nnnnnawwwww, it started as just practicing but turned into SPARRING and we started killing eachother for fun and sport after we realized that death wasn't serious anymore and there was a lot of red lasers and bloody explosions and now the whole place looks like this!" Pinkie replied, passively grinning. Celestia shook her head to regain her composure, and raised an eyebrow. "Fluttershy got the most kills!" The yellow pegasus whimpered at this, shrinking backward.
"Erm...alright?....Well, everypony needs to avoid killing eachother tomorrow, when you go to invade Gryphon territory and force their leader to sign a treaty." Celestia said, smiling. "Now....the two guards I sent to watch you, why are they huddled up in the corner?" She pointed out, pointing to them with a hoof. Upon actually looking at them, she saw the terrified expressions on their faces. "Ace, Fletcher, come here for a moment." She requested. The two white guard pegasi didn't move, still trembling. Celestia gained an understanding look. "Ace? Fletcher? It's okay, tell me what happened..." When they remained silent, she walked to them and lied down. In a soothing, relaxing voice, she asked "What happened?" Ace, the pegasi on the left with the green tail and mane, gulped.
"...Y...Your subjects... they were...displaying their power, and... and we didn't want to get caught up in it..." Ace replied in a shaky voice. She understood; she was gone for six hours. She smiled lovingly to them, which made them relax a little.
"I want you two to go back inside and take a breather. I'll give you the rest of today and tomorrow off." The princess told them, smiling. She stood up and nudged them inside with her muzzle. After they had closed the door behind them, she turned to face the younger ponies. "See? I can be nice." She smiled. "Now, you six can keep those robes, but keep in mind that if you are wearing them, you will be unable to fly or use your own magic. This means no telekinesis." This discouraged the pegasi and unicorns; the pegasi needed their ability to fly for everyday life, as did the unicorns their telekinesis. She turned to the two earth ponies, Applejack and Pinkie Pie. "You two. Do not destroy anything. If any of you go on some sort of crime spree, I will remove you from the mission and punish you." She threatened with a stern voice. Her kind voice and smile quickly returned though.
"Alright then, I'll see you tomorrow!" She chimed, dismissing them. The Elements of Harmony returned to their homes for a good night's sleep.
The Invasion
Chapter 2: The Invasion.
At popular request, this chapter is significantly less ridiculous than the first one. Well, until about the seventh page. I also kept the characters more in-character.
"Twilight? Twilight, wake up already! You're going to miss Princess Celestia's assignment!" Spike shouted, pushing the sleeping mare's torso.
"Nnnmmmuughhh... Ten more minutes, dad..." Twilight moaned sleepily, rolling over and crushing the baby dragon. Spike quickly pulled his head out from underneath the slumbering equine, gasping for breath.
"Twilight, Rainbow Dash and Big Macintosh are making out!" Twilight's eyes snapped open and she quickly jumped to her feet.
"What??" She asked frantically, looking back and forth. Spike laughed, still gasping for air, before having a coughing fit.
"I'm kidding-*COUGH*-Twilight, I just needed to-*WHEEZE*-wake you up...!" She wasn't sure if she had heard him, as the lavender unicorn was quickly cleaning up a mess she didn't pick up last night, her horn glowing with magic. Upon galloping down the stairs, she found said cyan pegasus curled up on the floor, sleeping in the dark central library. Spike followed in shortly, not surprised, as Twilight invited all her friends over for the night. There was a blush on the pegasus's smiling face, and she let out a happy sigh, completely oblivious to the real world around her. Twilight giggled for a moment, but her expression fell flat shortly, followed by her stomping her front hoof on the wood paneling, causing the slumbering pegasus to scramble awake.
"Rainbow Dash, go wake up everypony else. We're running late!" Twilight instructed, running back into her room to get her things together. Twenty minutes later, everypony was sitting at the kitchen table. Dash had offered to cook breakfast, which Twilight accepted, but now she was regretting it—Dash was not the best cook.
"Here you go, everypony!" Rainbow chimed, setting down six plates of an unidentifiable black charred substance. The ponies just looked down at their plates apprehensively. "Uhm.... I tried to make scrambled applesauce, but..."
"Perhaps you should've let me procure our morning meal." Rarity deadpanned. Rainbow sweatdropped and scratched the back of her mane with a hoof. Fluttershy was actually eating the...whatever it was, earning a few disgusted looks from the others.
"What? I like it..." The yellow pegasus admitted in a quiet voice, wiping the substance off her face with a napkin. Everyone sighed.
===
"Now girls, the Gryphon territory is directly north of Canterlot. It might be a long walk." Princess Celestia informed, the mane six already garbed in their magic robes, standing in her throne room. Rainbow grunted angrily; she did not like walking sooo sloowwwww when she could just fly. But nope, she had to wear the wing-paralyzing robe.
"However, I do have a....faster method of travel." Celestia announced. A squared section of the floor folded inward, before a very large orange-striped cannon extended out of it with a mechanical whirr. The ponies stared at it, wide-eyed, and Celestia grinned anxiously, reaching for her megaphone.
"Uhh, no thank you, your majesty, we'll just walk." Twilight said, smiling nervously. Celestia pouted for a split second, as if she was about to say "Aww!", but her expression of polite interest returned in the blink of an eye.
"Uh, excellent..." Princess Celestia remarked, her eye twitching almost unnoticeably. "Tell me when you're there." Twilight nodded, and the ponies exited. After walking down the incredibly long staircase to the bottom of the cliff, they were all already exhausted upon reaching the bottom. Rainbow conjured some water for the group to drink, which they all took advantage of.
Pinkie had a disgruntled expression lining her features. "You know what girls? I don't wanna walk all the way. I'm gonna go back up to the Princess and ask what that big cannon was for." She announced, starting her trek back up the stairs. Everyone else decided to just let it go, and began their journey across the looooooooong expanse of dirt road to their destination. Upon reaching the bridge across the large river that acted as the border to Equestria, a large, far-off BANG was heard, and the group turned around to see a small plume of smoke from the castle on the cliffside, along with a small black dot steadily rising into the sky. They watched the black dot as it gradually got bigger, before Pinkie crash-landed into the dirt near the group at a hundred miles an hour, making a small crater and a plume of dust, and making the ground shake. She quickly ran out as if nothing had happened, smiling giddily.
"The princess shot me out of a cannon!" The pink mare exclaimed, throwing her hooves up in excitement. "She said something about bananas and the moon, but I didn't really hear it....Oh well! You guys should've taken the cannon, you would've covered all this distance with no effort!" Pinkie started whooping and bouncing around, doing cartwheels and giggling. An eagle's screech filled the air behind them, and they looked down the path to see a landing Gryphon, clad in steel armor. The Gryphon approached them quickly, before skidding to a halt, its talons digging ruts into the dirt.
"Halt! What business might you filthy Equestrians have in our land?" Rarity cleared her throat and stepped forward.
"Hello fine, handsome, well-groomed Gryphon. We are here to negotiate a treaty between your leader and ours. Might you let us enter your lands?" Rarity flirted. The guard remained stoic, refusing to be flattered.
"We don't need a treaty with your kind. Now get out of here, before I call the rest of the guards to chase you out. Or eat you." He smirked, revealing sharp canine teeth. "Our choice."
Rainbow Dash gained a bored expression. "Yeah this isn't working. Earth!" She shouted, conjuring a massive boulder and shooting it at the Gryphon, which knocked him into a tree, unconscious. Rarity grunted.
"Rainbow Dash! You didn't need to do that!" She complained, placing a hoof to her upturned chin. "I'm fairly certain my flattering skills are adequate enough to convince anyone we need to of anything." Applejack chortled to herself.
"Hmm hmm, yeah, that totally worked on that big ol' dragon from way back when!" She roared out in laughter. Rarity was appalled.
"Oh, how dare you!" Rarity growled. Twilight quickly stepped inbetween them.
"Calm down you two, we don't need any more friendly fire. Didn't we have enough of that back at the castle yesterday?" Everypony put their hooves on their chins and thought back to an hour ago, where they saw guards trying to scrub the blood off the courtyard.
"Yeh, I guess so. Sorry Rarity." Applejack apologized. Rarity did the same, and they exchanged a hoofshake to make up.
The group continued walking, before coming across a clearing, full of gryphons. Guard gryphons, citizens, children, the likes. This appeared to be a marketplace... Rarity was about to exit and examine the fine, fine jewelry they were selling, but was quickly pulled back in by Applejack. "Hey! Don't go waltzin' out there like it ain't no big deal! That guard might've woken up and told all them other guards of us bein' here!"
Pinkie pouted. "I told you, rule #2, double tap..."
"This isn't a zombie movie, Pinkie!" Twilight interjected. She turned back towards everyone else. "Alright guys, just slip your hoods on, walk slowly and lock your hooves inside your sleeves. If no one knows we're ponies, we won't attract any unwanted attention." Well, no more attention than six mysterious shady robed figures suddenly appearing out of the forest. Everyone followed her instructions, their species unidentifiable, and started a slow, nonchalant strut into the marketplace.
"Don't talk either." Twilight added.
"Everyone's lookin' at us!" Rainbow Dash whispered. Twilight looked back and forth with her eyes; every single gryphon had their eyes on them. Not for long, however; the vast majority of them returned to their business after dubbing the six "not a threat". They were much...smaller than gryphons, but due to their posture, they were, at the time, much taller. They simply towered over everything.
"This is going rather smoothly, if I do say so myself... Twilight, might I attempt to purchase some of the fine jewelry from that store we are about to pass?" Twilight was about to say no, but the white equine had already broken from their formation.
"Good day sir, I would like to buy that dazzling red diamond on the back shelf." Rarity said, smiling at the shop gryphon, who had red feathers and was wearing a red cap, from under her hood. She had taken extra care to make sure her hood was sagging over her face, so there was zero chance of anypony seeing through the darkness that concealed her complexion. The shop gryphon, somewhat nervous at first, smiled when he heard Rarity's regal voice come from that black abyss of an outfit she was wearing.
"Of course, ma'am." He replied, turning around and gripping the diamond with his talons (he was wearing gloves to not scratch it) and bringing it up to the counter. "That'll be five hundred zen." Rarity's smile vanished.
"What?" She was used to being asked for bits when purchasing something.
"Five hundred zen, did you not catch it the first time?" The shop gryphon answered, still smiling. The white equine had never heard of this form of currency before. She considered asking if she could pay for it in bits, but she had no idea what the conversion rate was. And according to that guard, the gryphon country was not on good terms with Equestria, so she feared that if she even raised the subject, it would blow her cover. She cleared her throat.
"Oh, my dearest apologies, I seem to have forgotten my wallet at home." Rarity improvised. The shop gryphon nodded.
"Alright, miss. ....But, what's a wallet?" He asked, confused.
"Erm... nevermind." Rarity just decided to turn and leave, leaving a very confused gryphon. She rejoined the formation and they kept walking.
"Smooth, Rarity.... that came really close to being really bad." Rainbow Dash commented.
"Oh, shush!"
They had walked farther into the city from the marketplace, where they saw more gryphons, getting a glimpse at their society. It turns out they were fairly advanced, maybe even moreso than Equestria, and had a completely modern society with elegant buildings, paved roadways, and complete families. Twilight felt something tug at the bottom of her robe, and upon looking down, there was a tiny gryphon with big green eyes staring up at her with a smile. "Why are you wearing a blankie, miss?" It asked in the adorable voice of a filly, similar to Apple Bloom's but without the country. Twilight couldn't resist letting out a soft "Awwww..." and reaching down to rub the feathers on its head. It made a purring sound in response, before being snatched away by a larger, adult gryphon.
"Don't talk to strangers, sweetie." The mother said, smiling at her young. She turned to face the six robed equines, still smiling. "Sorry for the trouble." She spread her wings and flew away.
"...W...wow... These are the "evil" gryphons that hate everything? The gryphons that that bully Gilda came from?" Fluttershy commented quietly from under her yellow hood. "They're so nice..."
"Ohhh just wait Fluttershy, we're bound to run into some evil ones." Rainbow Dash replied. They kept walking, but their footsteps were making clopping noises instead of soft thumps or sharp taps that the gryphons' did, which was attracting attention from the increased density of guards as they traveled further into the city. Upon approaching a large white castle (they assumed this was where the leader resided), they attempted to walk into the gate, but were stopped by two guard gryphons wearing similar armor to the one they K.O'd earlier.
"Halt! Identify yourselves!" the one on the left demanded.
"We prefer to remain anonymous, and we are here to negotiate something with your leader." Rarity spoke, the guards simply glaring at her.
"What 'something' could you possibly have to negotiate with King Tamra?" The one on the right interrogated.
"It's a peace treaty." Twilight elaborated. The guards squinted at her.
"With who?"
"........Equestria." The guards immediately pointed their spears at the group.
"A peace treaty? With those scumbags? Hah!" The one on the right said again.
"Hey...they're wearing armor, right? Solid steel armor?" Rainbow asked, no louder than a whisper. Twilight nodded at her, and the cyan pegasus maneuvered herself behind the guards.
"Equestria isn't worth a treaty, not after what they did to our race! Not aft-" They both suddenly dropped to the ground unconscious, revealing Rainbow Dash with her hooves behind their necks, crackling with electricity.
"Heh heh heh..." Rainbow cackled, leading the group into the castle. The inside of the massive building was very regal, comparable to Princess Celestia's castle, but the mares remained focused on attempting to find this "King Tamra". Suddenly, ear-splitting alarm bells and sirens went off, and the city gryphons began panicking as hundreds of armored guard gryphons filtered into the castle parlor, surrounding the ponies in mere seconds.
"INTRUDERS!" One of them yelled out, and the gryphons closed in.
"Earth-shield!" Rarity chanted, causing a ring of iron stalagmites to erupt out of the floor around the ponies, holding the oppressive bird-lions back. They stabbed at it with their spears, which weren't doing much, but cracks appeared in the stalagmites, "Arcane-earth!" Rainbow Dash chanted, launching an explosive rock from her hoovetips, aimed carefully to fly inbetween two stalagmites, which blasted a hole in the swarm of angry guards. Twilight looked at the iron ring; it was not going to hold long... She began chanting a more complicated spell, one she had tested and witnessed its effectivity.
"Water, frost, water, frost, water, frost, shield, arcane!" She chanted. A ring of icicles with a red aura erupted in place of the stalagmites, which tore at the flesh of all the nearby guards, reducing some of them to bloody skeletons and causing all of them to rear back. The icicles retracted a mere few seconds later, leaving them with no defenses. The gryphons charged again, one of them impaling Twilight with their spear and tossing her dead body aside, the others holding them off with a variety of spells. But wait...where was Pinkie? Rainbow looked up at the balcony overlooking the rest of the parlor, watching her chant something.
"Fire, water, fire, fire, water, fire, fire, water, Conflaguration!" Pinkie finished. A solid sheet of fire erupted from in front of her and flew downwards, setting about twenty guards ablaze. They ran or flew around, screaming, panicking, their charred feathers turning black, before dropping dead. Some of the guards that she missed flew up and impaled her from several different directions at once, killing her too. Rarity summoned another iron-stalagmite shield while the guards were distracted, and Rainbow backed it up with a simple magic shield, which she put her hooves together to channel energy into.
"Life, lightning, ressurection! Life, lightning, ressurection!" Fluttershy chanted, and Twilight and Pinkie burst out of the ground, back for more action. Pinkie pulled out the book of spells that Celestia had given them, and one particular spell caught her eye.
"Frost, water, earth, arcane, frost..." She chanted. "Raise dead!"
Zombies, that's right, zombies climbed out of the dirt just outside their shield and began attacking the guards. Pinkie casted the spell over and over again, creating her own personal army of undead minions. Unfortunately, the guards broke through the magic shield, and were stabbing at the ponies from above. They impaled all but Rarity and Pinkie, before Pinkie shot some explosive rocks at them to blast them out of the sky. Rarity ressurected everyone as soon as possible, splitting her focus between that, keeping the stalagmites up, and killing the flying guards. When the guards numbers dwindled; no more than thirty remained; a large door which Rarity thought was just for decoration burst open, revealing an extra-large gryphon wearing an absolute full-body suit of armor. The ponies attacked it, but it appeared that their magic had no effect on the super-sized bird creature. It crashed through their shield and, with the giant hammer it wielded, bitch slapped the group for 5,000 damage and caused all but Twilight to explode in more gory messes. Twilight panicked.
"L-lightning, arcane, lightning, teleport!" she chanted, and was instantaneously transported to just outside the castle. She resurrected her friends before the guards figured out where she went.
"Th-that giant metal one is unstoppable!" Applejack cried out, hugging herself.
"Calm down guys! Use lightning, Princess Celestia said it was extra-effective against armored targets!" Rainbow Dash yelled. Pinkie was peering around the corner, waving to the guards.
"We're over heeere! Come and get uss! Out in the open!" The guards noticed her and quickly flew her way. Rainbow facehoofed.
"Pinkie! Ugh, guys, just prepare the lightning bolt spell!" The cyan pegasus instructed. Everyone began chanting "Fire, water, lightning, arcane, lightning..."
Soon the metal monstrosity had turned the corner, and had raised its giant hammer up to pound them all into the ground. "LIGHTNING BOLT!" The ponies all said at once. The area lit up with an extraordinary amount of light as six simultaneous lightning bolts shot down from the sky and piledrived into the super-gryphon's helmet. His body exploded from the force, covering the area in yet more blood.
Applejack dispatched the remaining guards with giant boulders, before sitting down and taking a breather.
"Phew...that was a doozy." The earth pony breathed. They looked around; all the gryphons had either run away, or were cowering in the corners. They looked back inside the castle, seeing the bloodstained floor.
"Did we just kill the entire royal guarding force of this country?" Dash asked, taking her hood off.
"Yep, ah think so." Applejack confirmed. "Let's go find the king already and make him sign the treaty so we can leave; Ah'm a li'l sick of tryin' to be icognito."
"Alright." Twilight announced. The group nodded, and traveled inside the castle.
"Ugh! This place is a freakin' maze!" Rainbow Dash shouted with frustration. "I can't tell which way is UP in here!"
"Relax, Speedy Gonzales, we'll find out where he is soon enuff." Applejack consoled, placing a hoof on Dash's shoulder. She simply grunted at her in response.
After half an hour of searching, Applejack had become just as frustrated as Rainbow Dash, and started bucking doors open with her back legs, which more often than not broke them off their hinges. Until, she kicked down one door to receive a yelp, and turned around to see a very formal-looking gryphon that was sitting at a desk and signing paperwork. She stormed up to the gryphon, who cowered a little, steam practically coming out of her nose. Twilight didn't think she'd ever seen Applejack this frustrated before.
"Listen yew throat-stabbing, snake-eating, slime-feathered VARMIT! We just had ta' fight through all of your PRISSY li'l guards to get ta' yew, just for some damn treaty!" Applejack flipped up the papers and then slammed them down on the desk. "I EXPECT ya'll to sign this, and if ya'll don't, I'll gonna buck you so hard you'll be sent to the god-damn moon!" She screeched. The gryphon signed his name without a word, terrified of the strange pony that just stormed into his office on two legs. Applejack swiped up the paper and walked back to the group, a satisfied I-got-my-revenge look on her face.
"Uhm....Applejack?....please calm down....you're scary..." Fluttershy muttered quietly. Applejack was about to yell at her, but then remembered that that's not something you do to a close friend.
The group of ponies exited the castle, seeing the thousands of gryphons cowering against the walls in fear of them. They kept walking, exiting the city and eventually finding the dirt road heading back to Equestria. And of course, after about another hour, they arrived back at Princess Celestia's castle. After a water break, they walked up the stairs, approaching the door to the princess's throne room. Twilight was about to open the door and give a mission success report to the princess, when she heard something.
"So...you don't like bananas?" She heard the princess say.
"No! And I'm STILL going to kick your white ass with my homies!" another voice, a deeper male's voice, said. Then there was a loud clack and a whirring.
"Sorry, Alfonzo.... you won't find any white asses to kick... ON THE MOON!" Kaboom! She heard the strange pony yelling as he flew up through the roof of the castle and soared off into the forest somewhere. Twilight opened the door slowly, to see Celestia laughing maniacally into a megaphone for a few seconds before she realized that they were watching her, and she abruptly stopped.
"Oh! Erm...Hello Twilight, and friends." She hid the megaphone behind her back and grinned. "Uhm... how long were you standing there?"
"Long enough..." Rainbow answered, shrinking backwards a little. Celestia decided to change the topic.
"I trust your mission was a success?" She asked, her ever-present expression of polite interest having returned to her face.
"Yeah, here are yer papers..." Applejack said in a burnt-out voice, giving Celestia the signed treaty forms.
"Excellent..." She breathed. Her smile vanished. "But, I'm afraid we have another problem on our hands." The ponies looked up at her, interested.
"We're going to be invaded by..." They moved closer to her.
....
"Zoooombiiiieessss!!" Celestia droned, waving her hooves back and forth, her eyes small.