The door of the Crusader’s clubhouse almost flew off its hinges when Silver Spoon barged in. The grey filly took a moment to recover her breath as she scanned the room.

Sweetie Belle was standing next to a bowl with her sister’s emergency ice-cream, looking surprised at her sudden entrance.
Diamond Tiara was sitting at her side, hugging Applebloom like a castaway clinging to a piece of driftwood.

She went to her quickly and joined the embrace. “I’m sorry, I just found out.”

Diamond took a second to recognize the other filly hugging her, but when she did, the sight of her friend curled her lips into a little smile.
She left Applebloom to lean more on Silver Spoon, and the familiarity of the feeling helped her feel safe.

Silver Spoon looked around the clubhouse, noticing that a Crusader was missing.

“Where is-” Silver took a moment to remember the name. “-Scootaloo?”

“She went looking for Twilight. She’s smart, so we thought she could help,” Sweetie explained.

“Twilight is in Cloudsdale, but my father already sent a pegasus to call for her.” Silver looked at Diamond, doing her best to smile despite the nerves and fatigue. “Your mother is going to be okay.”

Sunset took a moment away from Celestia, after she gave Rainbow the golden crown of the competition, to talk with Twilight.

“Soooo, it sounds like things are getting pretty hectic in Ponyville.”

Twilight turned around to face her alongside her friends, minus Rainbow Dash, who flew away with the Wonderbolts.

Then, Sunset noticed something.

Rarity seemed nervous, Fluttershy looked sad, Pinkie had that determined glint in her eyes like when she taught her about having fun, and Applejack had the same worried expression when Sunset told her about her drowning.
All of this combined with Twilight’s “everything’s fine but I’m secretly panicking” face made Sunset feel slightly cornered.

“Is something wrong?” she asked before her sister could say anything.

Twilight looked at her friends, and braced herself to speak.

“We’re worried about you.”

Sunset took a more guarded stance, not liking where this was going. “Ok, why?”

“Please, not again.” She thought.

Twilight struggled to answer, so Applejack spoke for her.

“Rarity told us about the whole dress thing.”

Sunset’s eyes immediately turned towards the fashionista, who hid inside the gondola on the hot air balloon she was standing on since she didn’t have a cloud-walking spell on her.

“I would’ve preferred that to remain private.” Sunset took a deep breath to calm herself, but it was unsuccessful. “Otherwise, I don’t see the problem.”

Twilight was about to speak, but Sunset interrupted her. “I mean, I know I had a sort of fucked up foalhood, but I assume that’s normal for somepony being adopted by Celestia, not knowing anything about who your family is and why they left you, growing up with expectations that were eventually crushed, dying multiple times, gaining a family by essentially trying to murder your sister and her friends, having both a mental breakdown and a heart-attack at the same time, finding out a lot about yourself and how you apparently didn’t get any genuine love until thirty years into your life. But other than that, my life is pretty freaking normal!”

After screaming the last words, Sunset realized she was panting, and Twilight and her friends had taken a few steps away from her, clearly shaken by her sudden outburst.

“S-sorry! I- I don’t know where that came from,” Sunset quickly apologized, but was surprised to suddenly be hugged by her sister.

“It’s okay Sunset. Let it all out,” Twilight said, trying to be as comforting as a pony could be.

“This is exactly what we wanted,” Applejack explained, getting closer to Sunset with a sincere smile.

“We want you to express everything you’ve been holding back or forgetting about your past,” Pinkie said while hopping closer to her before getting a little more serious. “As you said, you didn’t have the best foalhood, that was clear from what happened with the dress, so we want to help you explore all those things that you missed.”

Sunset pushed Twilight back, taking a few steps away. “But I don’t want to! I’m feeling confident again. I have all that I wanted. I don’t want to wallow in the past, I want to focus on my future.”

“But the past is necessary for the future,” Fluttershy said, flying closer. “We know it probably hurts and you don’t want to feel like that, but if you just hold it in you will break down, like now and with the dress.”

Twilight went up to Sunset and moved her head so their eyes could meet. “This may be what troubles you so much with friendship. You have to know yourself before you can form that kind of bond with somepony.”

Sunset looked away, feeling torn by her desire to keep things buried and move on, and the possibility of things getting better at the expense of probably going through the same process that she thought she had finally gotten over.

She didn’t want to go back to feeling miserable, needing everypony to help her just so she could feel like she had worth.
She knew she was important now, Celestia showed she was, and going back to mope and cry would only hold her back from what she wanted.

Suddenly, a grey pegasus with a blonde mane and eyes staring into different directions crashed between the two sisters, holding a letter in her mouth.
She hastily stood up and turned to Twilight. “Urgent letter for Twilight Sparkle from Silver Platter!” she almost screamed in panic.

Twilight quickly tore the letter open and read it at lightning speed, her eyes widening with each word.
“Can you help me teleport straight to Ponyville?” she asked Sunset with the same panic the grey pegasus had.

Realizing that this was important, Sunset skipped the questions.

“Come closer.”

Sunset’s and Twilight’s horns touched, and a massive magical spark appeared from the connection, discharging a large quantity of magic to Twilight’s spell before the purple unicorn disappeared in a blast of energy that knocked Sunset back.

“We should go too. Please, think about it, okay?” Applejack said while she and her friends jumped inside the hot air balloon.

“I’m sorry for telling them! It was for your own good!” Rarity shouted as they descended from the cloud.

Sunset wanted to go with them, since it appeared to be important, but she remembered Celestia’s lesson.

“Twilight would’ve told me if she needed the backup. I’m sure they can handle it.” Sunset gave a long sigh. “And I have a lot to think about.”

Filthy Rich walked in circles outside of his wife’s room in the hospital, deep in thought while impatiently waiting for a response from anypony besides the grey stallion next to him.

Not that he didn’t appreciate his company, but he needed more help than he could give him.

“You’re going to get old faster if you continue stressing like this. Why don’t you at least sit down to think?” Silver Platter offered, patting the chair next to him.

“No thanks,” was Filthy’s quick and dry response. “Is your daughter with Diamond?”

“How would I know?” Silver asked defensively, but quickly realized that was the wrong answer for the distraught father. “I’m sure she already found her. She will help her deal with this.”

Hopeful words did nothing to ease Filthy’s nerves.
Diamond was about to become motherless at a very young age, and he couldn’t be with his daughter. She had ran off as soon as she heard the news, and he couldn’t leave his wife alone.
It was torture for him.

But the thing that frustrated him most was that he had already done everything he could.

He donated enough money to build another hospital, fully staffed, in exchange for the best treatment possible, but the doctors had no idea what was happening to Spoiled.
He sent messages to both the princesses and their two pupils, hoping that at least one of them could do something.

So now, he only could wait for a response, but it had been the longest, most nerve-wracking wait he had ever experienced.

Suddenly, there was a flash of purple magic, and Twilight Sparkle appeared in front of him, followed by a confused zebra wearing a plague doctor’s mask and a satchel full of herbs and medicines.

He normally would ask a lot of questions, but right now, he would welcome any kind of help.

“Over here!” he shouted, guiding the two mares into the room.

Inside, they found two doctors and a nurse triple checking Spoiled’s diagnosis, trying to figure out what was wrong with the mare.
The trio noticed the new arrivals and quickly made space for them to see the patient in critical condition.

Twilight had to hold back a gag at the sight.

Spoiled’s coat had a sickly grey-pink color that made it look like it was made of paper.
She had clear sings of severe dehydration, her eyes were clouded and she looked barely conscious, and the spark of life in them was dim and about to be snuffed out.

Spoiled tried to move in the bed, but was too exhausted to properly trash about in her clearly delirious condition.
Still, the doctors had restrained her to the bed, just in case.

Zecora quickly went over to the mare, looking her over and checking her state more closely while Twilight asked questions.

“Do you have any clue as to what may be causing this?”

“No. Her symptoms are too varied to single out a particular cause. It’s almost like she contracted the worst parts of various diseases,” the doctor explained while his two coworkers quickly made a summary of Spoiled’s various diagnoses for Twilight to see.

Zecora took a step back from the bed and pulled out a small jar full of a purple cream out of her satchel.
Dipping the point of her hoof in it, she drew a spiral in the center of Spoiled’s chest, adding a few markings to the edges while chanting a few words.

When she finished, the purple markings turned a sickly green, and a strong odor started emanating from them, making everypony minus the plague-masked Zecora to recoil in disgust.

“It’s a curse isn’t it?” Twilight guessed, and the zebra nodded.

“A curse to induce great pain. Not made by mere disdain.”

“Who would want to make her suffer something like this?” Twilight asked Filthy.

The stallion snorted. “It would take me a day to give you a full list.”

While the ponies talked, Zecora worked on helping the mare recover.

She used special oils to try and make the skin turn back to a normal color, she burned some herbs near her nose to try and snap her out of her delirium, and made her drink a simple concoction she managed to prepare in the little time she had.

“Will this cure her?” Filthy asked, careful to not interrupt the zebra’s work.

“I can only buy us more time I’m afraid. But a cure for a curse is difficult to be made,” Zecora responded, trying to think of a solution.

“If natural remedies don’t work, maybe there is some spell that could counteract it,” Twilight suggested.

“Isn’t Restoration a spell that deals with curses? Can you cast it?” Filthy inquired.

Twilight shook her head. “I didn’t study too much medicinal magic. And even then, this looks like it would need something greater than a simple restoration.”

“Then use your dragon and get the princesses here! I’m sure they can cast it,” Filthy exclaimed, letting his nerves get the better of him.

“I think I have an idea,” Zecora said,getting everypony’s attention. She had a small bag open in her hoof, and Twilight recognized the contents inside.

“Poison Joke? Are you going to treat a curse with another curse?!” The unicorn exclaimed.

“Poison Joke preys on ponies that ignore danger. But it finds no joy in the death of a stranger,” the zebra explained.

“So, it will keep her alive so it can prank her?” Twilight asked, uncertainly.

“I find it fitting. Go ahead,” Filthy said, and Zecora carefully used the dangerous plant to prepare an improvised medicinal ointment and applied it to the center of the spiral she made before.

Everycreature waited for it to take effect.

A minute passed.

Then two.

Then five more.

Twilight was about to teleport and try sending a letter to the princesses herself, when suddenly, the spiral’s sickly green color started to fade into a deep blue, and Spoiled’s breathing started to stabilize.
She went limp, worrying her husband, but it wasn’t because of a lack of strength, but rather, she seemed to finally be resting properly.
The doctor and nurse checked her vitals, finding that the symptoms, even if they were still there, were losing severity.

“It’s working,” the doctor declared, making Filthy exhale a breath of relief.

“I will try and make a better medicine at home. If something happens, send notice and I will come.”

“Thank you. If you ever need anything, I will pay for it,” Filthy promised, but Zecora chuckled.

“Bits don’t mean much to me. And this favor I do for free.”

Filthy nodded and went over to his wife while Twilight pulled the Zebra away from the others.

“Have you ever seen something like this before? Any clue on what could’ve caused it?”

Zecora took some time to think.
“Some months ago, I found a pony drowned in the river. Her body was hot, but it wasn’t a fever.
I saw a similar darkness in her eyes. But I don’t think she shared this mare’s demise.”

Twilight’s eyes widened as she connected "hot" and "river" together in her mind. “Did this pony have a sun for a cutie mark? And gold and red hair?”

Zecora’s eyes also opened wide at the pony’s realization. “You know her!”

Twilight’s mind went into overdrive, trying to piece together a puzzle she had abandoned long ago.
And the use of the Poison Joke gave her an unexpected possibility.

“Zecora, could a curse be a positive thing? Like bringing a pony back to life?”

The zebra pondered the question, trying to recall any knowledge about curses and myths she had learned in her time.

“Curses of eternal reincarnation or denial of death are a thing of legends. But for something like that there are better means.”

“But what if somepony is desperate? Could they somehow curse themselves to avoid dying?”

Zecora tried to gather a definite answer, but she lacked the knowledge and evidence to justify her words.
“Death is something no creature wants to endure. But if it’s achievable by a drowning unicorn, I’m unsure.”

“If there’s a unicorn capable of it, it’s Sunset.” Twilight thought before teleporting to Ponyville’s train station.

She needed to tell Sunset right now!

Sunset was walking through the corridors of Canterlot Castle along with Celestia.
The monarch was talking to her about some responsibilities she would have once she inherited the crown, but Sunset wasn’t really listening.
Her thoughts were still on Twilight’s offer to open her past, and the possibly of fixing the last of her problems within herself and the world around her.

But she really, really didn’t want to.

She could feel some part of herself screaming to her that it wouldn’t do any good, and that the answers would be more painful than anything she had ever felt before.

She could live without knowing, but she could die because of the answers.

“My subconscious sounds very dramatic,” she joked to try and make herself laugh, but it didn’t work.

“Sunset, is something wrong?” Celestia asked, pulling her out of her thoughts.

The unicorn looked at what had been her mother for so many years. The only pony that knew her better than even herself.

“If I really need answers… maybe finding them myself will be better.”

Sunset decided to start small. “Can I ask you a question?”

Celestia could feel the mixture of emotions her pupil was feeling. “Of course, Sunset. What is it?”

“Who…” Sunset heard that inner voice screaming for her to stop, but she continued. “Who was my mom?”

Celestia froze.

Her mind ran a list of different diversions and escapes from this situation, but none would work.

This was one of her worst fears. She had managed to dodge it for thirty-one years, but now, it was inevitable.

She took a deep breath. Exhaled. And answered.

“She was…” but her mind drifted off, unable to recall the information she needed to answer.

Celestia turned away from Sunset to hide the panic in her eyes.

“Her mother’s name was…”

“The town she was born in was…”

Celestia continued to try and recall something, anything, about Sunset’s foalhood. But other than the events of that dreadful day, she had nothing.

“Did I… erase my own memories?”

“Celestia?” Sunset asked, worried about her mentor’s reaction. “Is something wrong?”

The princess turned around, doing her best to hide her panic and fear.
The only thing she could do now, was lie.

“I’m sorry Sunset. I never met your parents. I can’t give you that answer.”

Celestia could see anger in Sunset's eyes at her response, sending a shiver down her spine.

"Please... We made so much progress together.

Sunshine... Let her be happy."

"When did you adopt me? Form where? Why was I in an orphanage?" Sunset's asked, each question filled with more hostility than the previous one.

But for the final question, even the voice in her head sounded sad.
"Are my parents... Dead?"

Celestia still had nothing but more lies for her.

She hated it. She hated doing this to her.

But the other option was far worse.
Still, she should've done better. And now she was paying the price.

This was her curse.

"I adopted you when you were three years old. I can only guess your parents weren't ready for the responsibilities that a foal needed. I don't know if they are alive or not. I took you from an orphanage here in Canterlot."

"And why did you take me specifically? The School For Gifted Unicorns hadn't been founded yet, and I was still too young for it anyway. What made me special?"

Sunset was starting to hyperventilate. Celestia feared she would suffer another heart-attack.

"It was your cutie mark. You..." Celestia stopped when she noticed the horror in Sunset's eyes.

"Did... Did I... Did I burn that orphanage?" Sunset was losing her breath, her body trembling in shock. "Is... Is that why you said it would destroy me if I knew?!"

Sunset's world was collapsing around her.

"Did somepony die? How many? Were they foals like me?" Tears started running down her face, her breathing was irregular, and her heart felt at the brink of collapse.

Celestia tried to hug her to calm her down, to be with her, but Sunset moved away.

"Erase it!" She screamed.

The words were like a spiked club against Celestia's heart. "What?"

"Erase my memories! Make me forget about all of this!"

Celestia shook her head, all composure gone by now. "Sunset, I can't do that to you. Not again. You need to confront it and-"

"NO! I don't need to know! I can live my whole life without knowing!" Sunset felt her vocal cords nearly tear with her shouting.

Celestia's own tears were falling down her face. Her heart was broken to pieces.
"Please Sunset, you have friends and family that will help you pull through this. You will-"

"I will forget this!" Sunset screamed, pointing a shaking hoof at her mentor. "You will make sure I never ask questions about my past again. I will live and become a princess, and Twilight and her friends will teach me friendship. It will be perfect. All of us will be happy."

Sunset's lips curled into a disturbing, crazed smile, making Celestia's skin crawl. "I understand why you did it. I don't blame you. You did the right thing."

Those words finally broke Celestia.

Her heart was already broken, so now, her mind did the same.

"She's... She's right. Everyone will be happy. Everything will be fine."

Celestia's horn glowed with golden magic.

"The lie must continue."

Mentor and pupil closed their eyes and connected their horns.

Golden and cyan magic glowed, and both of their memories about the conversation were completely destroyed.

After that, a quick spell to dry their tears erased all evidence, so when the two ponies opened their eyes, they smiled.

Ignorance was bliss for them.

"That was quite the dramatic performance," Nightmare said looking at the aftermath of the revelation. "Tell me, how much close to the real thing was Celestia's lie?"

The voice at the other side responded immediately. Her voice full of unrestrained hatred.

_{"Not even close."}

Sunset woke up abruptly when a purple unicorn shook her out of bed.

"Twilight? What are you doing here?" She questioned the mare, noticing her... excitement? She wasn't sure.

"It's a curse!" Her sister exclaimed.

"What's a curse?" Sunset asked, noticing that it was almost midnight. "Can't this wait until morning? I have training with Luna in a few minutes."

"You cursed yourself to cheat death!" Twilight explained, but just confused her sister even further.

Sunset finally got up and rubbed her eyes awake. "Okay, try starting from the beginning."

Twilight did her breathing technique to calm herself and started her story. "Do you remember meeting a zebra named Zecora the day you... died a third time?"

Sunset tried to focus her memory, but she got no response about those events.

"I can't recall meeting any zebra in my life."

"Well, you didn't die that day," Twilight said with a smile, surprising Sunset. "Zecora found you in the river and saved you."

Sunset felt a great relief after hearing that.

Something that she had never admitted to anypony, not even Cadence, was that her constant death and resurrection had been making her feel less... like a pony.

Some ponies surely would think it would be cool or extremely lucky to be able to come back from the dead, but besides her loss of memories, she also felt like she was losing a part of herself. Something that shew would never get back.

So, hearing that she didn't lose more that day gave her a weird but comfortable peace.

But Twilight's words also brought another problem.

"Why do you say me coming back to life is a curse?"

Twilight took a moment to find the correct words. "When Zecora saved you, she saw a sort of... darkness inside you."

Sunset felt a part of herself being deeply uncomfortable with her last words.

Twilight continued. "And today she saw that same darkness in a curse somepony put on a mare named Spoiled Rich."

"Oh, I remember her. I talked with her a few weeks ago. I'm not really surprised somepony wanted to curse her."

Twilight felt a little uncomfortable at Sunset's response but decided to put it aside for now.
"As I was saying, Zecora realized that you were cursed just like Spoiled, but instead of being a harmful spell, it was a way of bringing you back to life."

Sunset looked unsure about her theory. "Twilight, that sounds a bit far-fetched."

The purple unicorn didn't back down. "Actually, It's not. I recalled some books I read after hearing about your resurrections and they do mention cases of powerful creatures offering you life in exchange of something precious to you. And in your case, it would be-"

"Memories..." Sunset felt a shiver run down her spine.

It all made sense now.

That's was why she felt less than herself every time it happened. She was losing a part of herself every time she came back.

And now that she thought about it. Her problem with making connections with other ponies started soon after her first resurrection.

Twilight felt a huge relief. She finally found the root of Sunset's problem. And now, they could fix it.
"So, we just have to help you remember what you lost and find a way to remove the-"

"No." Sunset interrupted her, shattering her enthusiasm.

"What? Why?" Twilight asked confused.

Sunset put both hooves on her sister's shoulders. "Twilight, I appreciate everything you and the girls have done for me. But, I've been thinking about your proposal a lot, and even talked about it with Celestia, and I don't think- no. I'm sure, that nothing good will come from it."

Twilight tried to object, but Sunset continued.

"Like I told you before, I don't want to delve in the past. I want to move on and keep my eyes on the future."

Twilight shook her head. "But, what about your friendships? What about being the Fairy Godmother? Are you going to abandon all that? For what?"

Sunset smiled, and pulled out the crown from under her pillow, putting it on her head. "I'm going to be a princess," she said with a huge, happy smile.

Twilight took a few seconds to process the news, and her eyes sparkled. "Really?! Congratulations!" She hugged Sunset, joining in her happiness.

"It's not official, but I've been training a lot to earn the title," Sunset explained as they separated.
"And, I won't abandon friendship. I want you and the girls to continue teaching me about it until I can claim the title of Fairy Godmother. And speaking of which-" Sunset took the crown off her head and hid it back under the pillow. "-I want to go back to Ponyville for a couple of days. Spend some time with my sister and her friends."

Twilight had a beaming smile. "Of course! You're always welcomed to visit. I hope you'll remember us when you get the crown."

Sunset laughed. "I doubt I would ever forget any of you."

Twilight looked around, finally noticing that it was so late at night. "Did you ever have a slumber party?"

Sunset smiled, lit her horn, and smacked her sister in the head with her pillow.

"You're going to pay for that!" Twilight exclaimed, wielding her own pillow with a big smile.

_{“Wasn’t your play with the mare a bit too risky?”}

Nightmare looked down at the barrier. “I do admit I may have gone a bit overboard, but it wasn’t my intention to kill the mare. Sunset was the one who wanted to make her ill.”

_{“What do you mean?”}

“I can’t cast my own spells through Sunset’s horn. We would be in a very different situation if that were the case. I can only amplify and turn her spells into a curse, but the curse will always be ruled by her intentions.” Nightmare grinned. “At least until I hold more control over her body. Then I will be able to cast more freely.”

_{“Be careful or we won’t get that far.”}

Nightmare shrugged. “You’re right. I’m sorry,” she lied.

_{“I hate that word.”}

Author's Notes:

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13 Chapters Remaining

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I managed to get this out in the middle of all the chaos going on, I hope it’s to your liking.

Theorists, be prepared for the next chapter:

Chapter 31: My Dream.

I will be watching you.