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Seeking My Purpose In The World

by The Sleepless Beholder

Chapter 28: Chapter 28: “Can You Cry?”

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Sunset guided the Crusaders inside the house while a frantic Spoiled berated her servants so they would move faster and prepare everything to welcome her properly.

Sunset never really cared about proper etiquette or how her presence tended to put ponies on edge due to her relationship with Celestia. She did, however, find the frantic reactions of normally stoic or rude nobles hilarious, and this was one of such cases.
From the way she was about to throw them out, Sunset knew Spoiled was a problem. And possibly Tiara’s problem as well.
That’s why she decided to come with the Crusaders in the first place.

“Where is your daughter?” Sunset asked casually.

Spoiled gave a quick, disapproving glance at the Crusaders before reluctantly responding with a fake smile. “She’s upstairs. Third room on the right.”

Sunset looked at her companions. “You heard her, go talk to your friend.”
The three fillies looked at each other, their insecurity showing in their faces, so she gave them a little push to make them move. “I will deal with the grown-up stuff. Go have fun.”

The Crusaders finally nodded and trotted up the stairs noisily.
Spoiled was about to shout at them, but Sunset quickly got to her side and distracted her. “So, what hot beverage can you offer me?”

With the fillies well out of her sight, Spoiled relaxed a little and tried to give her guest proper attention. “Oh, we have a fine Jasmine tea that I’m sure you will love.”

They reached the living room, where a slightly overweight earth-pony mare with a yellow coat and white mane dressed in a maid uniform was finishing setting a small table with their tea and some pastries.
Spoiled took her seat while ‘discreetly’ shooing the maid away, and Sunset sat at the other side, looking at the tea in front of her but not touching it.

“So, what brings you to my home today Ms. Shimmer?” Spoiled asked as she took a sip of her tea to calm herself.

Knowing very well how imposing it could be, Sunset changed her expression to the one of pure uncaring neutrality that Celestia used on her.
“Oh, the Crusader’s told me about their friendship with Diamond Tiara. And when I recognized the name, I wanted to come and pay Filthy a visit.”
Sunset took a moment to judge Spoiled’s reaction to her words, which the rich mare admittedly hid pretty well, but she could tell her pride had taken a hit from being passed over, and her disgust at the idea of her daughter being friends with the Crusaders.
“Is he home?”

Spoiled smiled, barely. “Yes, he’s in his study. Roger! Tell my husband we have an honored guest visiting us!” she called out to her butler.

“And the Cutie Mark Crusaders,” Sunset added.

Spoiled gave a quick glance in the direction of Tiara’s room with an almost imperceptible frown. “Yes, them too.”
The butler left the room, leaving them alone, and Spoiled put down her tea before speaking. “May I ask what your relationship is with those… three?” she asked catching herself before slipping an improper word.

“Those three… what?” Sunset asked, going for a metaphorical stab to the ribs.

“Those three fillies,” Spoiled blocked, and then went for a stab of her own. “Are they your friends?”

The jab landed, but Sunset managed to keep her neutral expression. “They are the sisters of the friends of my sister. So, you could say they are in a way.”

Spoiled picked up her cup again. “I don’t think I can. I honestly didn’t imagine you making friends-” She took a sip of tea. “-with such ponies.”

Sunset was starting to piece together Tiara’s problem, or at least one of its sources. “What makes them different?”

“Well, age obviously,” Spoiled joked, but her chuckle wasn’t shared. “And also, class.”
She leaned forward a bit, a curious look on her face. “Didn’t you prefer your life in Canterlot? Surrounded by luxury and wealth, instead of the chaos of this town?”

Sunset chuckled. “Honestly, luxury and wealth seem to make ponies boring. And I find the chaos of the town more entertaining.”

Spoiled gave a little hum. “You should be careful. Enjoying chaos has turned creatures into stone.”

Sunset smiled confidently. “I feel pretty safe from that kind of punishment.”

Spoiled looked at her straight in the eyes. “Are you sure?” she asked, going for the proverbial jugular.

And the attack landed. Sunset’s calmness wavered slightly, and now Spoiled knew something she didn’t want her to know.

Sunset gave a little laugh to cover her slip. “I’m sure you know perfectly well who I am and my position among royalty.”

Spoiled lunged again. “Yes, you were Celestia’s only student for some years.”

Sunset blocked. “And her most successful.”

Spoiled didn’t back down. “The one who helped the Elements of Harmony.”

“For which we are grateful for,” came the voice of Filthy Rich, interrupting the little duel.

He looked pretty much the same as Sunset remembered; Elegant and making a subtle show of his wealth and class, but she knew he wasn’t like most other businessponies. The fact that he chose to live in Ponyville instead of some other higher-class town was proof of that.

Filthy took a seat next to his wife and gave Sunset a smile. “Would you like some coffee?”

Sunset smiled back. “Yes please, my throat was getting dry,” she said, looking at Spoiled as she pushed the tea away.

“I will get it for you sir,” the butler said before going to the kitchen, his stoic expression a lot brighter now that the male of the house was present.

Sunset quickly caught on to that fact and weaponized it. “Your staff seems quite comfortable around you,” she said specifically to Filthy.

The stallion nodded. “It’s true. But it does take some extra work.”
He didn’t even need to look at his wife to land his jab.

Spoiled realized she was now at a disadvantage, but her husband didn’t give her time to act. “I was told you came with some crusaders. Could you be so kind as to remind me who they are exactly?”

“If you can’t remember, they are clearly not of much importance,” Spoiled said, using the word ’much’ only grudgingly.

Sunset ignored her comment and answered. “They’re Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle and Applebloom. They wanted to see your daughter, so I accompanied them here. I think they want to be friends with her.”

Filthy smiled at the news. “That would be great. I would like to have the Apple and Rich families doing friendly business together for another generation.”

“Filthy, I’m sure our daughter can get better friends than those three,” Spoiled calmly complained.

Her husband snorted. “The only friend I could give her by your standards was Silver Spoon, and she’s far too complaisant to be a good friend for her.”

Seeing her chance, Sunset went for her own lunge. “Tiara does have a negative attitude that doesn’t help her connect with other fillies.”
The words caught Filthy’s attention, so Sunset went for the kill. “I’m surprised she would learn that kind of attitude from you Filthy.”

Spoiled struggled to keep calm as her husband gave her a side-glance before speaking. “I’m surprised too. I will have to look into it.”

Sunset’s coffee finally arrived, and she drank it to toast her victory.

Now that she had Filthy on her side, which had been surprisingly easy, she just needed to get rid of Spoiled so they could talk privately.

‘A strong laxative spell should send her to the bathroom in an instant.’ She thought while looking around for a distraction, until she spotted a painting on the wall and pointed at it.
“Is that a Claude Manet?”

The married couple turned around to see what she was looking at.
“It is. I’m happy to finally have a guest who knows about art,” Filthy said with a genuine smile.

“I’m a bit of an expert,” Sunset said while using the distraction to subtly cast her spell.

But the distraction also worked against her.

Nopony saw the color of Sunset’s magical aura turn from cyan to a dark blue for a moment, changing the spell that now filled Spoiled’s cup.

“Thanks for the chance to practice my spells Little Sun.”

The three continued talking, the conversation being mostly between Sunset and Filthy, with Spoiled staying on the sidelines and offering a comment here and there.
She was getting bored and impatient, and the indignation of losing made her want to just storm out of the room.

Trying to calm herself, she lifted her cup to her lips.

But at that moment, the Crusaders, looking downcast, descended the stairs, getting every pony’s attention.
Diamond followed behind them, and when she saw the look her mother gave her from the living room, she turned to the Crusaders and shouted. “And don’t come back!”

The three fillies quickly scampered to the door, and Sunset put down her mug of coffee. “I need to go. I hope we can talk again soon.”

“It will be a pleasure,” Filthy said. “Goodbye.”

Spoiled didn’t get to have the last word as Sunset teleported outside the house, but it hardly mattered.
Diamond had finally thrown those lowlives out, and even if Filthy tried something against her, she could simply threaten him with divorce and the custody of his daughter.
With a victorious smile, she downed her tea.


Sunset appeared right in front of the Crusaders, and was surprised as the three piled up on top of her in a shared hug.

“It worked!” the three exclaimed in triumph.

“Wait what?” Sunset asked confused. “Didn’t she just tell you to never bother her again?”

“It was just an act for her mother,” Sweetie explained.

“We talked and she agreed to come visit us in secret at the clubhouse later in the week,” Applebloom told her excitedly.

“You were right,” Scootaloo said in an apologetic manner. “Sorry we doubted you. But you can be a bit cryptic and creepy sometimes.”

Sunset was honestly surprised at the apology.
“Oh. Sorry about that. I honestly didn’t notice.” She lifted them off her body and stood up. “And I’m happy that you managed to reach out to her. If her mother gives you any more trouble, just tell Twilight to send me a letter.”

“A letter?” Sweetie asked.

“Are you leaving again?” Applebloom asked next.

“I just got a letter this morning asking me to go back to Canterlot tonight, so I will be gone for a while. But I know you three will be able to do things without me.” She ruffled each of their manes a bit, getting a little laugh from each of them.

“We will get our cutie marks by the time you come back to Ponyville,” Scootaloo declared.

“Crusader promise!” the three shouted, making Sunset laugh.

“I can’t wait to see them.”


Sunset was returning to her house when she saw Gilda standing in front of her door, waiting kind of impatiently for her to arrive judging by the way she was walking from side to side.

“Do you have another weird challenge for us to do?” Sunset shouted, getting the griffon’s attention.
Gilda flew over to her, and Sunset noticed that she seemed nervous. Even more so than when they talked about her friendship with Rainbow Dash. “Is something wrong Grease?”

The griffon struggled to look at her in the eyes and looked like she was about to turn tail and run at any moment. “Hey… you are kind of royalty, right?”

Sunset raised an eyebrow. “In a way, yes.”

The griffon searched for the right words. “Sooo you’re loaded. Right?”

“Loaded with magic.”

Gilda shook her head. “I mean in bits. You have a lot of them, right? Like, enough to buy a house?”

“Grease, are you trying to reverse loan shark me? Because that won’t end well for you.”

Gilda finally decided to cut to the case. “Look, things are getting worse in Griffonstone, and we both know that’s not going to change soon. That’s why I’ve been visiting Dash so much, and decided to just move here. But I can’t afford to pay for a house right now and I can’t get a job without a residency in Ponyville.”

“Why don’t you go live with Rainbow until you can afford a house? I’m sure she has enough room to accommodate you,” Sunset offered.

Gilda looked away. “I can’t ask Dash to do that.”

Sunset cocked her head to the side. “So, you would rather go deeply into debt rather than ask a favor from your friend?”

Gilda frowned at her words. “I still have some pride in me you know?”

“Well, I can’t say you’re wrong for wanting to do things your way,” Sunset admitted, and then she got an idea. “How about you rent a place?”

Gilda crossed her arms. “I tried, but there is nopony offering to rent, and I would still need to have a stable job to show that I could afford it.”

“How about staying at my house?” Sunset pointed out. “I can take your word that you can get a job and pay me back later.”

Gilda raised an eyebrow. “If I don’t want to live with Dash, what makes you think I would live with you?”

“You won’t, I’m returning to Canterlot tonight, so the house will be completely yours. As long as you don’t destroy it while I’m gone, you can live there until I come back, or until you get your own place.”

Gilda took a moment to think about it, weighting the pros and cons, and finally stretched her claw to Sunset with a smile. “Deal.”

The unicorn shook her claw, and then pushed it to the ground.
A magical circle appeared around the house, and a shining orange glow appeared in Sunset’s hoof before quickly moving to Gilda’s talons.

“Now the house security will obey your command and won’t try to burn you. Any creature you don’t consider an enemy will be able to pass. Also, the house if completely fireproof,” Sunset explained like a salespony trying to make a sale.

Gilda frowned in both surprise and confusion at her words. “Thank you, but… you’re a bit weird you know that?”

Sunset scrunched up her nose. “I’m starting to sense a patter here.”


Sunset finally arrived at Canterlot Castle, and was surprised to see Celestia waiting to welcome her.
“Let me guess, you couldn’t wait to start this new training you came up with?” she asked with a smile, causing Celestia to laugh a little.

“It’s true, but I know you will be as excited as I am when I tell you what it is.”

“Oh Really? Let’s not waste any time then,” Sunset said as she unsummoned her wings.

Celestia then had a fun idea. “Do you remember where my office is located in the castle?”

Sunset looked at her curiously. “Yes, I know pretty much every room of the castle.”

Celestia got closer to Sunset. “Then how about you teleport us there to save time?”

The unicorn took a moment to process the question getting a bit nervous.
Yeah, she had teleported other creatures before, and some even bigger than her, but an alicorn wasn’t exactly a normal type of creature. They had a large pool of magic at their disposal, which made them resistant to many spells, so casting one on them could have catastrophic results if the caster got overwhelmed by their magic.

‘I guess since she’s going willingly there shouldn’t be any risk.’

Sunset concentrated on the spell, and instinctivelyclosed her eyes before casting in case something went wrong. But luckily she and Celestia appeared in the office without any problems, so she sighed in relief.

“Well done Sunset,” Celestia praised. “Maybe next time we can try and see if you can do it with me trying to resist the spell.”

Sunset looked at her like if her mentor had suddenly gone insane. “I seriously doubt that I can overpower a full grown alicorn.”

“If there is somepony that would be able to do it, it would be you Sunset,” Celestia walked to the center of the office and waited for Sunset to join her before turning around to face her.
“Today you will face what will probably be the biggest challenge in your studies.”

Sunset smiled confidently. “I’m sure I can take it.”

Celestia’s face turned a bit more serious. “It will be more draining than our training in The Empire, and it will push your mind and sanity to its limits.”

Sunset’s confidence wavered a little, but she remained firm, wondering just what kind of challenge she would face.

Celestia lit her horn, and a bright light preluded a literal wall of thick books appearing in mid-air before falling to the floor with an ominous thud.
Sunset looked at the tomes towering over her like a wave about to crush her and she swallowed a lump in her throat.
“What lesson is this?” she asked a little scared.

Celestial leaned on the wall of books in a way that made her seem even taller than she already was. “Sunset Shimmer,” she said in an ominous voice. “From today on, you will have to learn the secrets, traps and trickeries of… bureaucracy.”

Sunset felt a cold shiver run down her spine, having heard the rumors of the almost dark arts that the study dealt with.

Celestia continued her foreboding speech. “However, if you manage to best this challenge, the reward will be invaluable.”

Sunset looked at her with wonder. “What reward?”

Celestia smiled, took her crown off her head, and put it on top of Sunset’s.

The unicorn looked at the regalia, her mind confused at the gesture, until it finally clicked.
Sunset’s eyes went wide, and her jaw almost hit the floor. “If this is a joke or a dream, I will burn somepony.”

Celestia laughed. “It’s not a joke Sunset. We both know how much you wanted this, and we both saw it in the mirror.”

“But… I thought you always said I wasn’t ready. That I didn’t earn it.”

“In these past months you’ve shown me that you’ve learned a lot about friendship. That you can help others regardless of their race or motivations. That your amibtion for power is now used to learn more than just magical abilities. And that you can control yourself even in the worst conditions.”

She could see doubt in Sunset’s eyes as she looked down at the floor, so Celestia put her hoof under her chin and lifted her head before continuing.

“I already gave you a test with the Running of the Leaves. And you passed it with flying colors. Demonstrating that you could manage the public, pass fair judgement, and teach others in a proper way. Even I ended up learning a lot thanks to you, and I’m absolutely sure that you can command, defend, and maybe even improve Equestria.”

Sunset’s eyes started to fill with tears, as she was overwhelmed with emotions.
Celestia tried really hard to find the right words, since the next thing she said could ruin everything they both had been building up until now.

“However, to earn the title, you still have some more lessons to learn and abilities to acquire. But I have faith Sunset. I know you will earn it and be the princess you always wanted to be.”

Sunset, sporting a smile of pure overwhelming happiness, dried her tears and stood firm in front of her. “I promise I will be the best princess Equestria has ever seen.” A sniff managed to escape her nose and she broke her stance for a bit. “Thank you.”

“You don’t need to thank me Sunset. You got this far on your own. And for that I’m extremely proud of you.”

Sunset dried her tears again and asked with a little embarrassment. “Can I… Can I keep the crown while I study? To… motivate me.”

Celestia’s heart melted as she gave her the warmest smile. “Of course, Sunset.”

The unicorn took a moment to calm herself, and immediately pulled out several of the books and started reading them, eyes full of determination.

She was going to earn her crown.

She was going to achieve her ambitions and be the perfect ruler for all of Equestria.

Finally, after so many years…

…she would feel complete.


Nightmare Moon was known to be a creature of darkness and nightmares that sent shivers down ponies spines.
All who had seen her had witnessed a powerful, sinister, and dark villain that would destroy them in a whim.

If they saw her now, giggling in joy like a little filly, they wouldn’t be so scared of her.

Even so, the fact that her smile was plastered on a huge maw filled with razor sharp fangs that could bite Celestia in half would still send them fleeing in terror.

“I can’t believe it! Celestia has practically giftwrapped the kingdom for me! I just have to wait until I can take control of her body and Equestria is mine!”

She looked down at the barrier, her excitement making her forget just how angry and worried she was towards her sister.

“And we can still do it together if you’re willing. We have all the advantages now. Killing Celestia will be easy for you once I’m in power.”

There was no response from the other side.

Nightmare knocked on the barrier. “Are you there? I know that you can’t be asleep.”

Still, no response.

“Aren’t you happy?”

Finally, a voice responded, but it wasn’t in the tone that Nightmare was accustomed to.

It was a voice with two tones that made Nightmare feel… dread.

Dread, because if she and Sunshine were similar, she could also end up feeling them at some point.

One was sadness, a feeling that she had seen destroy her host and others on multiple occasions. A feeling that was delightful in her enemies, but she would never wish it upon herself.

And the other one… was emptiness.
That dark hole of a feeling. Symbolizing the end of all joy, dreams, and willpower.

“Can you cry?”

A sad, empty question.

Sunshine knew the answer, but needed to confirm it. To confirm that her fears were true.

And at that, Nightmare Moon, the terror of the night and mother of nightmares, folded. And she answered without any malice. Just honesty.

“I can’t.”

There was a moment of silence, and then a new question, as loaded as the first, was asked.

“Why?”

“My… Our bodies, being made of magic, lack some functions true living beings have.
We don’t have stomachs. So, we can’t starve.
We don’t have hearts. So, we can’t bleed.
And we don’t have tear ducts. So, we can’t cry.”

There was another heavy moment of silence, far longer than the previous one, until the voice talked again.

“Thank you.”

Nightmare could tell her sister was drifting down, away from the barrier, and when she couldn’t sense her anymore, shew felt like a spell had been broken.

“What was that all about?”

Author's Notes:


Countdown Initiated: 15 Chapters Remaining Until The End.


This rollercoaster is finally aproaching it's final summit. I hope you will enjoy the descent.

See you next chapter:

Chapter 29: A Hard Lesson To Learn

I will be watching you.

Next Chapter: Chapter 29: A Hard Lesson To Learn Estimated time remaining: 5 Hours, 4 Minutes
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