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Seeking My Purpose In The World

by The Sleepless Beholder

Chapter 26: Chapter 26: Did I have a…?

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Twilight and her friends ran through the snow towards Sweet Apple Acres in haste, having been alerted that a red dragon had been sighted nearby.

“Yah think it’s the dragon Sunset hurt?” Applejack asked, worried about her farm and especially her family.

“I don’t think so, he was pretty shocked by that. I don’t believe he would come back for revenge,” Fluttershy responded, flying as fast as she could to keep up.

“Well, if he’s here to cause trouble then we will kick his ass,” Rainbow declared. Fortunately, she had learned from the previous encounter that rushing in without backup was not a good idea.

Twilight, for her part, still had her mind on Sunset.

Why did she just leave? Was she offended by what I said? Does she not want to be the pony she was before? Maybe she just wants a peaceful life.

Twilight closed her eyes tightly and cursed to herself. Of course she does! She even told me she wanted to learn about things other than magic. Why did I-

Her thoughts were interrupted when they finally saw what the ponies had been frightened by. A long, serpentine dragon made of red flames was soaring through the air, flying in elaborate patterns and doing some impressive maneuvers that Rainbow instantly wanted to try.

Close to it, the CMCs were sitting in the snow, admiring the spectacle with starry eyes, with their jaws falling to the ground.

But the thing that caught the attention of the six mares the most, especially for Twilight, was Sunset.

She was right below the dragon, not wearing her winter clothes, her horn alight with her cyan aura. And she was dancing.

She was moving through the snow with her eyes closed, jumping and spinning and moving her head, and the dragon above her copied each of her movements, forming a spectacle that left the six mares as awestruck as the three little fillies.

They gasped in fright when Sunset turned towards the CMCs, and the dragon charged straight at them! But before any of them could react, the dragon dissolved into thousands of little birds that flew above the three fillies before disappearing.

Sunset took a bow, and the three fillies applauded her with great enthusiasm.

“That. Was. Awesome!” Rainbow exclaimed, quickly flying towards the unicorn.

The rest of the mares followed, but Twilight stayed in the back, thinking.

What happened? She was afraid of losing control just an hour ago, but now… she looks like the old Sunset.

Twilight looked at the three fillies that were shouting suggestions for new tricks Sunset could try. Did they give her confidence back?

“How about you try and breathe fire?” Spike suggested from her back, snapping Twilight back to reality.

“I can try. Maybe you can give me some tips?” Sunset asked with a smile, and the dragon immediately jumped off and ran to her side.

“Okay, first step, deep breaths. The more air in your lungs, the more fire you can spit out.”

Sunset nodded and took a big lungful of air.

“Now, you have to heat it inside your body using your magic until all that air transforms into fire. You may even use the magic to add a spell to it, like I do to send letters. After that, just blow like you were playing a horn.”

Sunset held her breath for a few seconds until two lines of smoke started coming out of her nostrils. She carefully leaned forward, releasing a torrent of flames that reached a couple meters before dissipating. However, some escaped though her nose, making her sneeze and choke on the fire a little.

“Hahahaha not bad for a first try,” Spike praised, and everypony applauded the feat, except for Twilight, who was still trying to process the sudden change.

Sunset noticed her conflicted state, and quickly teleported herself over to her. Before the unicorn could say a single word, she gave her a big hug. “Sorry about leaving so suddenly. What you said gave me a lot to think about.”

Twilight awkwardly returned the hug, her mind still confused. “No, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have pushed you like that.”

Sunset pulled back to look at her in the eyes. “Trust me Twilight, I needed it. And you were right, I shouldn’t stop being the pony that challenged the world. I want to help you defend Equestria from whatever danger may threaten it. I want to protect the ones I love. I want to be a hero. Somepony with great importance. And I can’t do that if I keep cowering and holding back.”

Twilight’s mind finally calmed, and she smiled. “You’re already a hero to me.”

“Yeah, the hero of the entire town!” Rainbow agreed.

The CMCs looked at each other before Sweetie asked a little nervously: “Like... the fairy godmother of friendship?”

Sunset gave a confident smile, eyes full of determination. “I don’t think I’m at that level yet, but I assure you, that will change soon.”

Twilight hugged her sister this time, unable to contain her happiness. “Welcome back Sunset.”


Celestia had just finished briefing Cadence and Shining Armor on the status of The Crystal Empire and was currently putting on her spare regalia to replace the ones Sunset had melted.

As expected, both ponies were quite shocked at the news, and for various reasons.

“So now we don’t have any idea when it will happen? Or at least an approximation?” Cadence asked with her ears pulled back.
They had a clear idea of when the empire would return. They were supposed to have more than a full year to prepare, and the advantage of being able to be there when it came back. But now, they would be taken completely by surprise. And who knew if Sombra would return before or after the rest of the empire.

“Sadly no. Luna is currently there with a team of mages assessing the damage. We hope they can give us a good guess, but that’s unlikely.” Celestia finally put her crown on her head, recovering her noble look. “You two will have to be ready to go at a moment’s notice.”

“I still can’t believe Sunset could do something like this,” Shining exclaimed. He hadn’t been able to look up from the table since Celestia told him what happened.

“I also wasn’t expecting this. I chose the empire grounds because The Winter Curse was the perfect counter to Sunset’s magic, but it seems the prolonged exposure to it ended up disrupting the curse.” Celestia sighed, feeling tired of her wrong decisions. “Luckily, Sunset doesn’t need more training, so the situation won’t get worse.”

“About that.” Shinning finally managed to lift his head. “How is she? What changed?”

Celestia smiled to give him some comfort. “She’s back to her old confident self. Luna will continue her training for the time being, but I don’t think she will have any problems from now on.” She then looked at Cadence with a more serious look. “What do you think? Were you expecting a change in her emotions?”

Cadence took a moment to think. “She had managed to make peace with many of the events of the mountain with the help of Twilight’s friends, but there were two things that she still had to resolve. One was the disconnection with friendship, and the other one… she said she told Twilight a horrible thing, but never told me what it was.”

Celestia tried to remain calm for them. “Well, that last one has been fixed, but I would prefer that you kept it between us. Let Sunset be the one to tell Twilight if she wants to.”

Cadence wasn’t sure she agreed with that, not being a big fan of secrecy, but she was right in that it was Sunset’s decision. “Very well. I hope I can get her to open up about it the next time we talk.”

“I believe she will stay in Ponyville for the rest of winter, so you will have to wait.” Celestia took a moment to look closely at the two before asking. “Is there anything else you want to know?”

“How old is she?” Shining suddenly asked, taking both alicorns by surprise.

“You don’t know?” Cadence asked.

“You do?” was Shining’s counter.

Cadence frowned in thought. “I… I also don’t know. I don’t think I even know when her birthday is.”

“it’s the day of the Summer Sun Celebration,” Celestia responded a little confused before turning towards Shining. “And she’s two years older than you.”

“Oh, she will make her little brother suffer,” Cadence said teasingly to Shining, who couldn’t help but chuckle.

The unicorn rolled his eyes. “Oh, I know.”

“May I ask the why do you ask?” Celestia inquired, trying to sound casual. “It’s not a secret that she’s older than you. And she was almost an adult when you started babysitting Twilight,” she added looking at Cadence.

Cadence looked at Shining. “I guess since she never celebrated her birthday, we just lost track of it,” she said a little confused, and with a hint of embarrassment.

“I asked because it seems like like even she doesn’t know. I also assumed it was because of the lack of birthdays, but as you said, she should know for sure if she’s older than me or not,” Shining explained, and Celestia went deep into tought, trying to figure out what was happening while keeping a neutral expression.

“I see, I will look into it once she returns to Canterlot. For now, we should let her enjoy her new freedom.”

She made a signal for the guards to open the doors of the meeting room. “This should be all for now. I will call you when Luna sends me a report of the empire’s status.”

Both ponies nodded and quickly left the room, leaving Celestia to wonder what other side-effects her spell could have created on Sunset.


Shining Armor walked through the castle halls, deep in thought.

The Crystal Empire returning, Sunset being able to disturb an ancient curse, the Royal Guard losing funds, the delays in the payments to his troops causing loss of morale. Problems seemed to just continue to pile up in front of him, and he barely could do anything to solve them.

A thousand years of peace had made the Equestrian military look like a waste of investment to the ministry of economy, and he couldn’t exactly blame them. He had even admitted to Sunset that his soldiers hardly had anything to do other than stand guard. And even if something happened, most of their equipment was in desparate need of maintenance. On top of that, each year they had less and less recruits, most ponies preferring other jobs that didn’t look like a boring dead end.

And sadly, he also saw it as a dead end.

He liked his job, it was his greatest achievement and he always wanted to protect others. But it didn’t feel like he was getting much done with an underpaid, underprepared army of bored ponies that probably would’ve preferred to have any other job rather than this one.

He felt trapped, and were it not for Sunset and Cadence, he would feel alone too. He then thought back to what Sunset had told him: “Until your mother and/or Cadence get impatient and drag you to an altar by force?”

“Maybe she was right. With The Empire returning, I may not have much time to wait for the perfect moment to ask her.”

“Captain sir!” a voice called out behind him, and when he turned around, he found one of his lieutenants standing firm with a pile of letters held in his magic. “I bring you this morning’s reports, among other things needing your attention.”

“Phalanx. Good to see you.” He quickly took the letters and started looking over them. “Any good news?”

“Define good sir,” the soldier responded, standing firm.

Shining sighed. “Thought as much" He looked at his stiff pose. “You can relax.”

Phalanx remained at attention, as he always did. “Honestly, there’s too much relaxing going on in the guard,” he said.

“I can’t blame them.” Shinning threw away a letter telling him to stop asking for more funding for his troops. “How are the soldiers doing? How many are planning to leave as soon as they can?”

“Two hundred and thirty-eight sir.”

Shining frowned at the number. It had never been this high. “Are you one of them?”

“No sir.”

Shining sighed. “I feel like we will be the only two left in the guard one day.”

“Us and the Lunar Guard.”

Oh yeah, them. “Are the soldiers still skeptical about the thestrals returning to service?”

Phalanx stoicism fell a little as he responded. “How could they not? They were traitors. And all those horror stories old veterans told about them turned out to be true.”

“Luna already said those tales are an exaggeration,” Shining said with visible frustration at his soldier’s paranoia.

The Lunar Guard would be a blessing were it not for their infamy and the distrust coming from both parties. They were fiercely loyal to Luna even after she was cleansed from Nightmare Moon. They had regained their numbers and strength after a thousand years of imprisonment. Equeatria was lucky Nightmare Moon had been stopped before she could free them, or it would have fought a losing war.

“Of course she did,” he almost spat the words, his opinion's of the reformation of Luna made clear.

Shining’s patience ran out. “Do you have anything else to report?”

“No sir.”

“You may leave then.”


After a few more magical performances, the three happy fillies were taken back to their homes by their families. The rest of the ponies returned to the town to calm the townsfolk about the supposed dragon, so Sunset took the chance to move Rainbow aside and talk to her in private.

“Hey, I need another promise.”

“Sure, what is it?” Rainbow responded in a low voice.

Sunset whispered back. “I… kind of made my peace with Twilight replacing me, but I still need you to keep the secret.”

The pegasus couldn’t help but smile. “That’s great! Are you and Celestia okay then?”

Sunset scrunched up her nose. “Not entirely. I don’t think we can have our old relationship back, which is actually good since it wasn’t healthy to begin with, but we are definitely in better terms now.”

“Well, I’m really happy to hear that. You should get Pinkie to throw you a party!” she said excitedly, but then backed down. “Uhm, obviously don’t tell her why. She doesn’t really need much of a reason to throw a party most of the time.”

Sunset considered the idea. She certainly had fun during Pipsqueak’s party, and she honestly couldn’t remember if she ever had a party for herself before.

Did I have a…? Her mind seemed to drift off as she asked herself the question, and soon even forgot what it was.

“You know what, I think Pinkie has denied herself a party for too long,” she finally said with a smile.

“Great! Let’s give her the good news!” Rainbow exclaimed before they resumed walking towards the town.


When night finally arrived, and the Royal Guard was replaced by the recently instituted Lunar Guard, Phalanx took his leave and returned to the barracks, where he reunited with three of his friends.

“Do you have today’s reports?” he asked, and the two unicorns gave him three sealed letters before going to their beds.

Phalanx got out of the barracks and started walking towards Shining’s office, but as soon as he was alone, he changed course and entered the storage room where they kept the spare equipment for the troops.

The room was rarely visited due to it being almost empty, and what remained in there was probably in worse condition than what they were currently using.

After locking the door and quickly soundproofing it with a spell, Phalanx pulled out a beetle-looking devise that opened its wings to let out a ray of magic that formed a small circle in the air.

And inside this circle, and image of the changeling queen appeared.

“What do you have to report Pharynx?” Chrysalis asked, a bit annoyed. He wasn’t supposed to report until the end of the week.

“Things are changing my queen. The Crystal Empire is going to return sooner than expected. Cadence and Shining Armor are rushing their duties so they can be ready to leave when it happens.”

The news angered Chrysalis. “How did this happen?”

“Celestia’s pupil: Sunset Shimmer. The other spies reported that she was the one to disrupt the curse during one of her outbursts.”

“That damned brat. I knew she would be a problem. She should’ve died along with Nightmare Moon. Maybe even taken Luna down with her.” Chrysalis took a moment to calm herself and think.

“Is the number of the Royal Guard still declining?”

“Yes. Thorax is convincing more and more soldiers to leave the army, and they can barely maintain their equipment, even the ones we haven’t sabotaged already. But we still have the problem of the Lunar Guard.”

“They will be weaker during the day. We can surprise and overwhelm them at that time. Anything else to report?”

Pharynx thought back to what he overhead before he talked to Shining Armor. “I believe Shining Armor will propose to the Princess of Love soon.”

Chrysalis remained in silence for a long time, making Pharynx grow nervous, until she finally spoke; “Make preparations for my arrival to Canterlot by the end of winter.”


Nightmare had finally managed to calm herself enough to think.

She thought she was in control, that her sis- no, that Sunshine would give in and join her, but now she wasn’t even sure they were the same anymore.

She was born from Celestia’s neglect of Luna, but Sunshine seemed to be born out of some sort of memory Celestia was hiding, so she had no idea what that could imply.

‘Maybe if I see that memory, I can get an idea of what I’m dealing with.

She growled. Easier said than done; this place works around my host’s mind-projection, I can’t explore it freely without its consent, and I can only see what she can think, so a forgotten memory would be impossible to reach. However, if Celestia said that she could ‘give them back’, that means they weren’t destroyed. They are here somewhere. I just need to make Sunset think about them.’

Nightmare put her hands together, concentrating on the magic she had managed to gather up until now and making it course through Sunset’s body.

‘I will need to be able to act when the opportunity arrives.’

Author's Notes:


Sunset’s condition worsened: Nightmarish essence (severe)

New malady gained: Spell hijacking.
(“Be careful with your casting, others may use it for their own needs.”)


Okay, the canon timeline of the show is officially fucked. Who knew actions had consequences?

Have a nice existence.

I will be watching you.

Next Chapter: Chapter 27: Beautiful Estimated time remaining: 5 Hours, 30 Minutes
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