“Why,” Twilight repeats, slower and more enunciated, “are Luna’s and Cadance’s cutie marks floating around Mount Aris?”

Doug, still dumbfounded, shakes his head. “I-I’m not sure.” A slight twist lifts the corners of his mouth. “Magic?”

“That’s… That’s not an explanation,” Twilight scoffs, barely able to quell her accusatory tone. “You built this place. Surely you have some idea how it works!”

“Hey, I was pretty out of it at the time,” Doug apologizes, shrinking down, wary of the way Twilight’s eye twitches and a part of her mane threatens to stick off all on its own. “Despondent, thinking I was the cause of all this suffering, and I just wanted to let the magic go. I didn’t exactly formulate a blueprint for anypony to follow.” He spreads his hands helplessly. “Sorry, I know that’s not much to go on.”

Twilight takes a deep breath, keeping her sigh from being too exasperated. “Alright. That’s okay. We’ll just start with what we know.” She pauses for a moment, thinking back. “We had a similar incident happen the day before the Storm King’s forces arrived at Canterlot. We saw our six cutie marks seemingly located in the middle of nowhere. When we arrived, there was nothing there.”

Doug interjects, perking up, “Wouldn’t that be because the airships sailed on?”

Twilight stops, the gears in her mind turning. Grim barely begins to describe her expression. “Taking into account the time it took to convince Rarity to go, then Fluttershy, and finally Pinkie Pie, plus our travel time…” She squints at the prior spot on the map, then traces a line from Klugetown to Canterlot, her head bobbing along as she counts. Her eyes widen in shock. “...We missed them. If we hadn’t? That would mean we had a chance to talk Tempest Shadow down! No, not a chance. A guarantee! A Harmony-certified guarantee that we could have resolved the entire situation peacefully!”

“Err,” Doug stalls. “Not that that’s not correct, but how do you know you aren’t reading a little too much into this?”

“Oh.” Twilight pauses, her eyes going wide. “You think it might be more like the Crystal Empire, where we had to fight King Sombra.”

“I have no idea one way or the other.” Doug holds up one hand, miming weighing it against the other. “Or it could be some third option. But why else would this thing even exist?”

Twilight’s smile is small and rueful. “I suppose the six of us going up against the entirety of the Storm King’s armada would be a little far-fetched. But if there’s a group of ponies who could singlehoofedly win a battle against them?”

Doug chuckles with Twilight’s bravado, wrapping his arm around her neck and hugging her close. “Oh, yeah, you’re quite the force to be reckoned with.” His jovial tone gets Twilight to snicker, just before his bicep tightens, the alicorn now locked in a headlock and forced to suffer him digging his knuckles into her scalp.

“H-hey!” Twilight laughs as Doug hits one of her many ticklish spots, sinking to her knees as if that might dissuade the tall human. Yet he sinks with her, and even as she kicks off and rolls over on top of him he stays locked on, his practice wrestling with Rainbow Dash and Applejack preparing him for her weight.

“Jeez, you’re getting heavy,” Doug complains good-naturedly as he grips Twilight against him, laboring for every breath. Yet he doesn’t let go even as Twilight's wings spread to the sides, instead maneuvering to plant a kiss on her questioning face. Twilight returns the kiss, and a nuzzle for good measure, before her cheeks redden and her chin dips into her neck. “What’s up?”

“So, um, I just had a thought,” Twilight replies bashfully. “It’s kind of silly.” When Doug squeezes her she continues, “You know how, in, well, um... How do I put this. In games of Ogres and Oubliettes with a less experienced Oubliette Master?”

“Sure,” Doug says, letting Twilight’s back rest against his chest, her weight manageable when she’s not struggling. “Railroading?”

“Err, not quite.” Twilight rolls over to ponyloaf so she can better see him, as well as relieve some of her weight. She’s not fat, honest; it’s the foals! And becoming an alicorn! “More like, when it’s really obvious that the OM wants you to go along a certain path. Not that they’re forcing you, but they might as well have advertised with flashing neon lights and a giant golden exclamation point.”

“Huh.” Doug twists his head to try to inspect his back. “My tattoo of Luna’s cutie mark was flashing, and so was her cutie mark before she embarked. It’s funny; she barely noticed that her mark was glowing.” Twilight pulls Doug up to see if it is still flashing, but the tattoo is just that. At least, for now. He looks over at the stone table; they’re on the floor and can’t really see the top, but he likes where he is right now too much to want to move. “You think, somehow, that this map knows where specific individuals should go in order to… further Harmony’s purpose, or something?”

“Well,” Twilight proposes, not entirely sure herself, “you did build it with the power of the ponies.” She looks over his body again, reverently tracing a hoof over each of the colorful cutie marks. “Including Luna’s. Maybe there’s some connection?”

“Possibly,” Doug counters. He pauses a moment, both of them pensive. “But, to be fair, I also had Discord’s power.”

Twilight frowns. “What? Discord is a force of chaos and entropy. He doesn’t build things, especially things that help ponies.”

“First off,” Doug asserts, “I built it with Discord’s power. But even so, that’s not entirely fair to chaos. The world around us is changing, which is what chaos is. What we’ve done before might not work in the future. We need to be able to adapt, or we’ll die. Or be outcompeted by those who do change.” He sighs, hugging her tight. “We can’t live forever in a land of order, no matter how hard Celestia or anypony else tries.”

As Doug talks, Twilight's frown lengthens. She sinks against him, not wanting to interrupt. But his words challenge what she knows about Harmony, about Celestia’s millennium-long rule. And yet, as her assumptions and axioms are challenged by him, she also questions them. Does she believe that Order and Harmony are virtuous, while Disorder and Chaos are iniquity, purely because she has grown up in a land where only they are practiced? Could that be because Order and Harmony are the best way to live, while Disorder and Chaos must be stamped out wherever they occur, or has some other factor been a feather tipping the scales?

“Which,” Doug continues, “while daunting, is, again, necessary. Because chaos isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It’s not just the decay of things over time, it’s also the unknown. Your potential. The place where what you’re doing might not work.” He pauses a moment, stroking her muzzle in an attempt to cheer her us. “Think about your foals. Alicorn foals. Never seen before!” He smiles up at her, and she can’t help but smile back. “Would that even be possible if we were only sticking to the known?”

Loud claps echo through the chamber before she can dip down and kiss him, if not more. Both of them perk up, ears swiveling, attempting to locate the source.

Discord appears in a flash of flowers on top of the table, wiping away a tear with a clawkerchief.

“You know,” the Lord of Chaos drawls in that magnificent voice of his, “I do believe that is the nicest thing anyone has ever said about me.” He smiles down on the two, and it comes across as both endearing and very, very alarming. “I take back all the bad things I said about you Terrans and your hybrid infestation!”

“Err,” Doug stalls. “Thanks?” His face scrunches up. “Bad things?”

“You know,” Discord draws out. He tosses the clawkerchief into the air; it drops on Mount Canterhorn and drapes over something hidden inside. “About how the hybrid leave nothing worth saving, and how repulsive and twisted they are. At first I thought it was a fluke, but now I see how you so cleverly subvert Harmony’s plan! Oh, it’s so glorious I was beside myself!” Discord splits into multiple copies, each of them lining up exactly in sync with the others. “But, then I realized, that’s what she sees!”

“She?” Twilight exchanges a worried glance with Doug. “What does that mean?”

Discord snickers, reveling in her confusion. “It means,” he explains in stereo, speaking so slowly that he draws an annoyed glare from Twilight, “that as long as you don’t change Harmony’s perspective?” He stands such that all the images line up, only the foremost visible. He motions toward the two, still laying on the floor, and gags. “You’ll be able to get away with, well, whatever you disgusting meatsacks like to get away with.”

“Yes, well,” Twilight says, rolling her eyes, especially as Doug rubs enticingly at her side. “Before these meatsacks get distracted, how about we focus on the problem at hoof.”

“I can walk and chew gum at the same time,” Doug says, smirking, as his hand continues down her belly.

Twilight closes her eyes rather than give in to his goading. “If Luna didn’t notice, or didn’t know what the glowing means, do you think Cadance might not have, either? Especially if she slept in.” She raises her voice. “Spike?” She waits a beat, frowning when he doesn’t respond. “Spike! We need to send a letter to Cadance!”

“Spike isn’t here,” Doug gently reminds, softly stroking along her ear and ceasing his other advances. “He’s in the Crystal Empire.”

Twilight’s face scrunches up, not willing for any tears to fall. “You’re right.” Her breath hitches. “I-it’s okay. I’ve got some dust somewhere.”

“You can use some of mine,” Discord offers, hacking up a furball that he shakes, little bits of dandruff falling onto a piece of parchment. He grins, offering it with a wide flourish. “Ta da!”

“...Thanks,” Twilight deadpans. She glances down at Doug, and he shrugs. Her horn lights and scribbles a quick message. She eyes Discord warily. “This isn’t going to explode or anything, is it?”

“Definitely ‘or anything’,” Discord confirms. He huffs at her unmollified expression. “What? Do you not want it to draw their attention?”

Twilight sighs. “No, this is important. Send away.”

Discord grins a particularly chaotic grin and snaps his claws. “Goody.”

In Canterlot, in a certain pink room, a pink Princess is getting pounded into her pink four-poster bed.

“Oh, Shiny! Buck me! Harder!”

The white unicorn behind her, sweat pouring down his face, hooves firmly clasped around glowing pink flanks, grits his teeth and gamely gives another twenty percent past what he thought he was capable of giving.

“Yes! Oh, yes!”

A shrill alarm, that any human boomer would recognize as a dial-up modem connecting, blares through the room. It startles the unicorn, and has seemingly no effect on the alicorn.

“H-hey, Cady?” Shiny Armor grunts out as a letter materializes in front of him. A stylized ‘01000100’, in fact, which he recognizes from his encryption class as a capital ‘D’. Then a second byte appears, replacing the first, this time ‘01100101’. An ‘e’.

“Can it bucking wait?”

“Err,” Shining Armor says, watching ‘Dear Cad’ appear one letter at a time before a swift kick to his inner thigh disrupts any concept of concentrating on anything other than his wife.

Back in Ponyville, Twilight eyes Discord carefully. “Did they get the message?”

The draconequus has binoculars trained on her parchment, which didn’t disappear. The lenses reflect which letter he is currently transmitting, and she suspects he has some sort of visual on the room, as any respectable, self-orienting scrying/transmission should. Which Discord is most certainly not. Maybe I should work on that once I’m done with these lesson plans.

“...It’s difficult to say,” Discord replies, suspiciously noncommittal.

Twilight rubs a hoof against her horn. “Can you tell what they’re doing?”

“Meatsack things,” Discord answers. He groans at Twilight’s disapproving stare. “You know. Sleeping.”

“And you didn’t want to wake them?” Twilight demands.

“You said I shouldn’t explode anything,” Discord whines, or possibly complains. “Besides, I could just bring them here if this is sooo important.”

Twilight closes her eyes. She’s surprised how drained she feels from just dealing with the draconequus, especially when he’s being compliant. “Fine.”

Discord snaps his claws, and with a flash the alicorn and unicorn appear, her belly against the stone table with him behind, in the perfect position for Doug and Twilight to observe.

“What the-” Shining Armor exclaims, attempting to back up, only for Cadance’s bellow to flatten everypony’s ears.

“Prince Consort Shining Armor, by Celestia’s desiccated teats, I swear if you back out I’m going on top and riding you until I’M satisfied!”

Shining Armor gulps, closes his eyes, and soldiers on. “Twily! I’m close!”

Twilight moans, mortified, and covers her eyes with a wing.

“Yes! Give it to me!”

Shining Armor grunts, pushes himself as far in as he can, his entire face contracting in tensed, exhausted bliss. His deed done, he slips out, and flops onto the floor in a way that mostly conceals himself, his hooves clasped above his head.

“If you can do that,” Doug whispers to Discord, tilting his head at Cadance and Shining Armor, “how did you ever lose?”

“Because it’s not fun to always win,” Discord answers sagely. “And that’s my cue to exit.”

“Oh, by Celestia’s sunny skies,” Cadance fervently moans, marehood openly winking while her eyes remain shut. “That was amazing. I swear, if we figure out what caused that…” She trails off, laughing to herself, before her tone turns somewhat biting. “Though I have to ask why you would yell out…”

Cadance opens her eyes, looking for her husband. It takes her a second to process the completely different surroundings and the lavender alicorn, her wing across her face, laying atop the human unabashedly watching and waving.

“...Twily?”

“Y-yes?” Twilight answers, peeking through her primaries.

Cadance grins, drops off the table and lowers her front legs. “Sunshine, sunshine…”

“...Ladybugs awake.” Twilight moves like she’s swimming through the ocean, for how lethargically she gets up and trades hoof bumps with her former foalsitter. “Clap your hooves...”

“-And do a little shake!” Cadance grins, spins around and mashes her still-glowing flanks against Twilight’s. This only serves to embarrass the lavender alicorn even more. “What are you doing here?” She looks around, not getting an immediate answer, and chuckles. “Or, maybe I should ask, what am I doing here?”

“Well…” Twilight gulps, glancing at Doug. She frowns when she notices where his attention has been. “Doug! Give the Princess a little privacy!”

“What?” he returns shamelessly. “She’s watched me, like literally watched me, impregnate… what, five times?” He winks at Cadance as she nods, smiling. “I say it’s about time she returned the favor.”

“You’ll need to wait until next year for that,” Cadance replies without missing a beat.

“For the record,” Shining Armor calls out, waving a leg but not otherwise moving from the floor, “not okay with that.”

“Oh, well,” Cadance mourns, her best hurt expression completely lost on her exhausted husband. She turns back to Twilight with a mischievous grin. “By the way, if this ever happens to you, don’t let it go to waste.”

“S-sure,” Twilight stammers, blushing furiously.

“So,” Cadance says, deciding against teasing Twilight further, “what do we have here?” She walks up to the table, then up at a descending alicorn. “Hello, Auntie!”

“Hello, Cadance,” Celestia greets, effortlessly gliding down. She nods at Doug and Twilight. “Good morning, Twilight.”

“Good morning,” Twilight returns, offering a short bow. “What are you doing here?” She looks up, not seeing anypony else.

“We were worried when you didn’t arrive at the train,” Celestia explains. “And then one of my sensors went off.” She looks around for the draconequus, but doesn’t see him. She turns to Cadance. “Also, I must say, I was not aware that I was an expression.” She smirks as Cadance shrinks down slightly. “Multiple, in fact, though I must say I am working on making one of them, how shall I say, less appropriate.” She bends down to nuzzle Doug, the human beaming back as he returns it.

“The reason for the delay,” Twilight explains, snatching at anything she can to steer the conversation away from that topic, “is because we discovered something with this map.” She points to Mount Aris, around which Luna and Cadance’s marks still swirl. “We aren’t sure why they’re there. But it must mean something.”

“And Luna already went to investigate,” Doug continues. “But we didn’t know about the map at the time. Just that she had a dream, perhaps a premonition, about the possibility of failure there.”

“And we might have already witnessed the consequences of failing a mission,” Twilight adds, stepping toward the Badlands and the Mane Six’s original destination.

“Assuming it is a mission,” Doug interjects.

“Correct.” Twilight grimly nods. “But we don’t know how things would have gone had we succeeded! Perhaps Tempest wouldn’t have turned away, perhaps…”

“Perhaps we never would have spread Friendship to the rest of the nations,” Doug counters.

Twilight purses her lips, but says nothing.

“We can spend all our lives debating ‘what ifs’,” Celestia counsels, tilting Twilight’s chin so they look into each other’s eyes. She smiles warmly. “But unless we can turn those scenarios into something actionable, we will merely miss out on all the other opportunities life provides.”

“...I suppose that’s right,” Twilight says. It takes a second for her smile to spread across her muzzle, but once it does it is as broad as Celestia’s. She turns back to Mount Aris. “So, what will we do here? Send Cadance off to figure out what’s wrong and what to do?”

“Sounds like a plan,” Doug pipes up when nopony else says anything.

“‘Tia, mind helping me with a portal?” Cadance grins when Celestia’s horn lights, a lattice of gold runes encircling her.

“A mile above Mount Aris,” Celestia advises. “Would you like any other assistance? Portions may be underwater.”

“Got it. And I should be fine.” Cadance concentrates, matching the gold runes with her own pink. “Hey, who knows.” She winks at Shining Armor as he pushes himself up and waves goodbye. “Maybe after I complete the mission, it’ll be even better.”

“Oh, by Celestia’s desi…” Shining Armor starts as Cadance disappears along with the runework. He gulps, peeking at Celestia, who returns a harsh stare. He straightens up and stands at attention, willing to accept whatever punishment she sees fit. “By your distended teats?”

“Oh, by me, no,” Celestia laughs, shaking her head. She turns to Doug, winking. “Though I have heard they get bigger with every foal…”

“Sorry, I like ‘em small and firm,” Doug counters, winking back. “I’ll talk to Rarity about converting that peytral into some sort of brassiere.”

“Nooo!” Celestia mock cries. She stands up, forelegs on the table, and shakes her belly back and forth. Her teats, unchanged from before she got pregnant, hardly move while her slightly enlarged belly wobbles and ripples. “They wish to be free! Free, I tell you!” She laughs as Doug grabs her from behind, hands firmly gripping her belly, and takes off for the train station.

Next Chapter: Ch. 83 - Divide and Conquer, Part Four Estimated time remaining: 18 Hours, 49 Minutes