Discord’s bellow echoes around the giant room, made all the more stark and empty by the ponies’ distinct lack of enthusiasm. He would have expected this sort of reaction from an amassment of guards, or statues in Celestia’s garden, or the pitiable guards stuck guarding Celestia’s garden - and not that supposedly luscious garden everymortal wanted to play in, for some inexplicable reason. Too overgrown, infested with terrans.

But this is ¡Discord, the Lord of Chaos! we’re talking about! Where’s the fanfare, the cheering marching band parading from one doorway to another except they keep entering at the wrong angle and just march along the walls while space and time hold onto each other and weep? Does he have to do everything himself? But it’s too late now, it would just look desperate, and if there’s one thing he cannot abide it’s some lesser creature’s pity toward a being with infinite power!

So he stands there, riding his cloud, arms outstretched as wide as his grin. Yet there are no thundering stomps of ponies bounding up to join him in the fun and fellowship of physical efforts, not like those silly simulations touted by Doug and Shining Armor and Big Mac and Spike that he most certainly would not be hosting. Besides, he did that today. Except, there is one pony displaying a modicum of excitement for his proposed adventure.

“Ooo!” Lemon shouts as she slashes at the air. She darts forward, hooves hammering against the crystal as she runs circles around Discord’s smoky cloud. “Pick me! Pick me! I wanna go exploring!” She bounces back and forth before darting over to Applebaum, her closest sister far less enthusiastic about actual adventuring than she expected.

“Um,” Apple Bloom says, nervously glancing between Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo. The unicorn shares her look of trepidation, standing still in the vain hope that the draconequus won’t pick on her like Miss Cheerilee giving pop quizzes after the weekend is over and she wants a question answered right for once. Even the pegasus has slowed her frantic attempts to scale the walls and get to one of the doors and instead nestles in one of the uncomfortable v-shaped bottoms of the tall, thin windows. Despite her earlier words she isn’t leaping at the chance to go exploring, or perhaps it’s just who would be leading said exploration.

“We have one volunteer!” Discord grins gleefully, scanning the others. He’s somewhat disappointed that Meringue isn’t also leaping at the opportunity, but at least she’s fascinated with a different application of his power, having found a few runes of power carved into the transparent walkway. “Normally one would have a balanced group of four to six brave adventurers. And while I could fill a party all by myself-”

Three copies of Discord blink into existence. One of them is heavily armored with a galley oar, another in a shabby jerkin with a shield and butterfly net, and the last in a skimpy two-piece bikini wielding a long staff with an open palm threatening to slap anypony attempting to test the jiggle physics.

“-It just wouldn’t be fair to you all!” A worried look flashes across Discord’s four faces as he peers up at the still-closed door. Occasional thumps emanate from behind, sending tingles down spines and standing hairs on end. “And it certainly has nothing to do with the fact that Doug built this castle with my magic, and attempting to banish them definitely doesn’t cause them to trifurcate. Or gain special abilities. Or anything.” Each copy cowers behind the original, leaving him alone and tugging at a non-existent collar.

“Trixie was thinking that we could focus on the areas already cleared.” She preens her long, pampered hair, decidedly not looking at the door Discord entered through that definitely wasn’t there the last time she came into the castle.

“Ugh,” Discord whines as he drapes himself over an imaginary couch while his paw wipes across his face. “Why do you have to be so boring?”

The azure unicorn sticks her nose in the air. “Trixie does not see the point of gallivanting off through a series of hallways filled to the brim with dangerous creatures. Especially if those hallways keep shifting around her.” She looks down at the floor. It isn’t flat, more of a gentle curve that makes it hard to keep her balance.

“I prefer,” Applebaum chips in, “my corridors ancient and long-abandoned.” She nods to herself, deliberately not meeting her more eager sister’s disappointed gaze. “Safer that way.”

“But what if Starlight here was trapped at the other end?” Discord, with an entirely uncalled-for and over-aggrandized sweeping motion, given the spacious and unobstructed room, lights up the pink unicorn with half a dozen neon signs. She retreats back a step, away from the pointing arrows, glaring at him all the while. “What if it was up to you and a rag-tag bag of misfits to rescue her?”

Trixie raises an eyebrow. “That sounds like...”

She pulls out a fancy deck of cards from her hat. The spades are suns, the artwork depicting Princess Celestia in a variety of provocative poses, though none truly explicit. Hearts are the pink, purple and gold of Princess Cadance’s mane, showing off her suggestive smile. Clubs are a deep cobalt that’s almost as dark as Princess Luna’s cold and brooding stare. Diamonds are a light lavender with Princess Twilight, you guessed it, surrounded by books. She idly shuffles and flips out three deuces and Doug as a rainbow-armored joker. A swipe of her hoof and they all change to four princesses, complete with exaggerated belly bulges.

“A princess-level job.”

Discord huffs. “Fine,” he grits out, folding his arms across his chest and most certainly not pouting. “I was going to help you all explore the castle, but if that’s the way you want to be?” He snaps his claws, folding into himself until nothing remains but Lemon sighing at the blank space above her.

Silence reigns in the map room while everypony exchanges querying glances.

“Sooo,” Sweetie Belle draws out with an equally long stare at the five doors far above. “Did Daddy build this whole castle upside down?”

“He did,” Trixie answers with a slight grimace.

“Oh.” Sweetie Belle trots over to the azure unicorn. “How did you get around before? Wings?” Her head cocks to the side, muzzle scrunching up at her inability to enact her next suggestion. “Levitation?”

“Both,” Trixie admits, muzzle curling to a scowl she doesn’t bother hiding. “But that would require us to station someunicorn at every doorway and give our less buoyant members a lift.” She leaves unstated that she would struggle at this task, and everypony knows it. Maybe if she studied with Starlight more, but the pink unicorn still looks out of it from triggering Twilight’s trap.

“We could build a ramp!” Scootaloo scampers around the table, wishing she brought her scooter along with her. She could totally use the chairs as makeshift ramps, and build up some serious speed!

Trixie sticks her nose in the air disdainfully. “Trixie refuses to cooperate with any plan that involves ramps.”

Scootaloo’s brow scrunches up. “What do you have against ramps?”

“Oh, nothing,” Trixie spits out. “They just make me…”

The azure unicorn suddenly stops speaking, looking quite uncomfortable; Scootaloo worriedly glances around, everypony else watching intently. Trixie’s eyes bug out as she gags, a hoof coming up to shield her muzzle, only for a stream of cards to spew out of her mouth and onto the floor. They just keep coming, and coming, a dozen faces winking seductively among the stars and books.

The scrunching up extends to the rest of Scootaloo’s face, mouth gaping and eye twitching.

“They’re just the incestuous cousin of the wheel,” Trixie continues, not deigning to look down and acting like nothing happened. “Existing purely to make it easier to get those go-rounders places they never belonged!” Her breath comes in fast, infuriated pants, a glare directed not so much at the surrounding young mares but years of pulling carts.

Applebaum cuts in, “What about ropes?” She eyeballs the closest door, the bottom about two stories straight up. “It shouldn’t be too hard to climb. As long as we’re not going back and forth a lot.”

“Ah’ll get some ropes!” Apple Bloom yells, scampering past Diamond Tiara and Pomarbo on her way to the top exit. The two have to squeeze against the castle wall just to avoid her, the thin walkway offering little in the way of protection should they be bumped to the unyielding floor below.

The rest of the ponies mill about, none particularly keen about moving away from the softly glowing table or windows, even if there is little to do in the otherwise dreadfully dark cavern. A few stomachs growl, and Lemon and Applebaum look ready to follow Apple Bloom and get lunch for everypony.

Diamond Tiara frowns to herself at the lack of leadership among the ponies. It makes sense, with the two older mares present being seventh and (while technically not a member of the herd, it seems likely given her close and continuing relationship) tenth. Somepony would need to step in, and who better than her?

Emboldened, and with a glance to the colt next to her to make sure he’s paying attention, the young pink mare steps to the edge of the ramp. She’ll finally get to put those vocal classes her dam put her through to use!

“What we need,” she belts out, singing forcefully enough to get Apple Bloom to pause at the top, “is to work to-geth-er-r-r!” She draws out the word as she spins, strutting a few steps down the ramp in time with the music in her head. “And make this castle shi-i-ine!”

“We do?” Apple Bloom interrupts from above, bringing the song to a screeching halt as Diamond Tiara skids on the crystal.

“Well, yeah!” Diamond Tiara states exasperatedly, huffing. She flings her hoof in a manner reminiscent of Discord, indicating the cavernous room. “We have a whole castle that’s completely bare! Is this the kind of place you would want to raise a foal?”

“Yeah!” Apple Bloom agrees with a shudder. “It’s got these tall doors that make it hard to get around!”

“At least,” Scootaloo adds from her perch on the window, “they keep those long hallways full of critters out.”

Sweetie Belle taps her hoof against the floor, nearly falling over. “And uneven floors that would make it difficult to run away.”

“Precisely!” Diamond Tiara nods feverishly, her enthusiasm contagious. “Wouldn’t it be great if the Princesses got back and they found this place, not cold and bare, but warm and-”

“-Decorated?” Lemon interrupts, eyes darting this way and that. “We could add some sparkle!”

Diamond Tiara huffs at her line being stolen, but goes along with it. “I’m thinking…” she leads, the grin on her muzzle widening. Visions dance in her eyes, a spreading smile that bounces from

“Portraits?” Sweetie Belle offers, glancing around at the walls. They are quite bare, and definitely unbecoming of a Princess’s castle. Especially with this being the entryway, and the first place everypony will see!

“Statues!” Diamond Tiara corrects, trotting down the walkway until she comes to one of the windows. She motions upwards, “Though, I wouldn’t say no to a stained-glass window, am I right?” Her cheeky grin is met by a few delayed nods, many of the ponies recalling how Princess Celestia’s castle has all sorts of elaborate scenes depicted on the windows. She continues her trot to the bottom, revelling in how all eyes are watching her. “It would look a lot better than that dreadful green!”

“Decoration superfluous.”

“Ah, lighten up, Meringue,” Lemon says with a roll of her eyes and shake of her head at her little sister. “It’d look good! I know we can do it!”

Diamond Tiara grins outwardly, but grimaces internally. Lemon would have been the easiest to get on board with any sort of project, and her sweeping optimism would carry the day. But it needs to be her in the limelight! Even as she wants to replace all the lime-tinted windows.

“Efficient routes integral.”

“Hey, how about this,” Diamond Tiara interjects as the two yellow ponies butt heads, resulting in a tangle of Pies. “There’s plenty of work.” She glances around the bare room, everyponies’ eyes on her, just like it should be. “A lot of work. We might not even get it done today! So we need to split it up, but more importantly, we need to figure out what we’re going to do.”

She jumps onto the table, imperiously basking in the glow and enjoying the higher vantage point where she can look down on all the ponies. She barks, “Meringue, I want you to confer with Trixie. Make a map of what rooms we already know about. Can we assume the other hallways are similar?”

Trixie shrugs as Diamond Tiara’s gaze falls on her. “They’re not identical, but pretty close.”

“Alright.” Diamond Tiara nods before turning upward toward Apple Bloom. “We’re going to need lunch. Take Scootaloo and Lemon with you. Do you need bits?”

“Uh,” Apple Bloom says, glancing from side to side as her two sisters join her at the top of the stairs. “If we’re just goin’ to home’n Sugarcube, Ah think we’ll be okay.” She smiles down, and when no further instructions come heads outside through the trapdoor.

“Starlight,” Diamond Tiara says, her tone softening. This would be the hardest nut to crack, but if she can get the mare to cooperate then it’ll be smooth sailing.

“Yeah?” Starlight Glimmer says irritably, rubbing at her horn.

“Can you work with Sweetie Belle and Hedge on some way to get through these walls or up to the doors?” She cranes her head upward, already feeling the strain in the back of her neck.

“What about some sort of scaffolding?” Applebaum cuts in. She motions to the entrance and the railing suspended high above them. “If we can drill into the ceiling we could anchor ropes and platforms and just walk across!”

“Excellent idea!” Diamond Tiara exclaims, beaming her best smile. It’s important to make everypony feel appreciated, especially if they’re the ones doing the work. “It’ll be like a treehouse!”

“And what’ll you be doing?” Sweetie Belle asks pointedly as she confers with Applebaum, Starlight, and Hedge as to how exactly they would install such a system.

“Me?” Diamond Tiara says, surprised. She hops down, quickly trotting up the stairway. “I’ll just be, um, conferring with Pomarbo. We need to figure out what else we’ll need to do!”

She grins as she sidles next to the colt, pressing her side against him.

Next Chapter: Ch. 8 - Unstable Payload, Part Four Estimated time remaining: 30 Hours, 59 Minutes