On the opposite face of the Canterhorn a train winds down the steep slopes. Every car leaving the Upper Canterlot Station is packed to the gills, and this one is no exception. Twenty-four passengers line the six rows of the luxury car, though only two benches match the sumptuous decorations. Twelve ponies are returning to Ponyville while the other half - and the remainder of the train - are continuing to Vanhoover.

Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo leave their third helping of Pinkie Pie’s backup cake apiece to scamper over to Applebaum. Despite growing like seedlings in a steady summer sun they haven’t caught up to their younger sister in size, their two year head start not enough to overcome the five-year-old’s earlier cutie mark, and likely won’t until they’re all full-sized mares.

The young mare in question steadily munches her meal as she stares not at their destination but Canterlot as it retreats into the dark clouds above. Lemon excitedly bounces next to her, for no readily apparent reason except the massive quantity of sugar she imbibes like her dam might suddenly stop serving such scrumptious specialties, while Meringue and Hedge rest on the opposite side. Starlight Glimmer gazes out one window, Pomarbo the other, while Trixie lightly snores with her hat covering her eyes.

“Did’ja hear?” the earth pony Crusader asks in an excited whisper that might as well have been a bellowed shout. Her pegasus counterpart grins eagerly, furiously nodding while her hooves clench the bench like it’s the hoofbars of her scooter and she’s about to take it for a ride. And not your every-day race around the market shopping for asparagus and cherries but an awesome ride ramping up carts and cruising across rooftops! The unicorn filly, meanwhile, looks reluctant to be there, more of a safeguard in case their plan gets too egregiously dangerous, unlikely to work, or egregiously likely to work dangerously.

The back half of the car mostly hides their curious looks, the prospect of gossip straight from the Princesses’ herd quite tempting. The ears of the other two native Ponyvillians, Spoiled Rich and Diamond Tiara, have quite a different goal. They perk up and rotate away from the solitary colt in the Apple herd, zeroing in to figure out if the danger will be coming forthwith or once they arrive at their destination. A special red umbrella is produced from somewhere - a reasonable precaution against explosions, tree sap, or explosions of tree sap - though it remains closed. For now.

“Ya mean,” Applebaum deadpans back, “about somethin’ other than our parents all gettin’ hauled off to Celestia-knows-where for Celestia-knows-what?”

“Duh,” Scootaloo huffs with a roll of her eyes. “We were all there for that.”

“We heard the Golden Oak Library got destroyed,” Sweetie Belle states before her compatriots can derail the conversation any further, giving Applebaum a hard look. “Was it you?”

“Uh,” Applebaum says, raising an eyebrow. “Why’d’ya think Ah had anythin’ to do with that?”

“She’s not denying it,” Apple Bloom says as an aside to Scootaloo, but loudly enough for all to hear.

“And because we know how much you love explosions,” Scootaloo continues, focusing on her sister while nodding along with Apple Bloom.

“We were with Starlight Glimmer in Our Town,” Sweetie Belle explains, nodding mostly for solidarity. “So it definitely wasn’t us.”

“Ah was in Canterlot doin’ inventory,” Applebaum asserts.

“Oh, is he new?” Scootaloo says with a snicker, only for Sweetie Belle to knock her upside the head.

“It was Doug,” Starlight Glimmer breaks in. Suddenly the rest of the train goes quiet, ears standing on end. Diamond Tiara and Spoiled Rich exchange grim glances, though they aren’t surprised.

“He didn’t mean to, though, right?” Apple Bloom says, voice quivering.

“No, he meant to,” Starlight Glimmer says, teetering on the edge of exhaustion. She rolls her eyes as Apple Bloom leaps up to defend her sire again. “He was goading Twilight into putting all her effort into attacking him in the hopes that it would break Tirek and Discord’s drain on everypony.” She glances back, registering the apprehensive looks everypony is giving her. “Didn’t you hear all this?”

“We heard the official story,” Scootaloo says, pouting as she sits back. “We thought the real story would be a lot cooler, especially since Discord was involved.”

“Excuse me,” the draconequus in question objects as he slithers into the train car from beneath the floor he just opened like a trapdoor. It closes behind him with a whoosh of air escaping into the black void. He barely fits despite using a lot of the unused space around the ceiling, made worse by the pink chain rattling from his booth-shaped hat. “My plan would have been a lot ‘cooler’ if I had been allowed to finish, but apparently Doug has an even greater love of ‘undefineds’ than I do.” His air quotes come out as zeroes divided by zeroes made from viscous red clouds that coalesce into heart-shaped candies.

“Yeah,” Sweetie Belle deadpans, inching away from the sweets oozing sugar from every ventricle. “The threat of dying from magic deprivation really puts a damper on things.”

“I know!” Discord throws his claw and paw into the air. Everypony’s eyes go to the ceiling, but the two limbs remain firmly attached to his arms. It’s the rest of his body that gets thrown upwards. He splays out on the ceiling with a vexed sigh. “Now I don’t even know if they want me around anymore.”

The Crusaders trade unsure glances as the draconequus flops about. His attempts to garner sympathy instead draw comparisons to a young foal pouting after scribbling permanent markers on all the walls and not getting a cookie for her troubles.

Lemon pipes up, “We still want you around!” She grins her largest smile up at the self-styled Chaos Lord in the hopes to cheer him up, and it seems to be working.

Meringue nods once.

“Thank you, my young apprentices,” Discord says appreciably, his claw and paw patting the two yellow fillies on the head.

Lemon giggles as one clawed digit draws a circle around her cutie mark, a lemon squeezing into a pitcher. “That’s what I’m here for, right? Helping ponies with their problems!” Her head twists to the side as she appraises the amalgam of creatures in front of her. “And you’re, like… half? Pony? Ish?” She grins. “At least, it’s half of your name!”

“Dracon-equus?” Discord matches her grin, though it doesn’t last. “But I’m afraid the rest of the ponies won’t take my apology with the sincerity with which it was made.”

Lemon tilts her head, allowing the claw to dig deeper. “Is that why you aren’t testifying about what happened? ‘Cause it seems like that would be the place to clear your name.”

“Pff,” Discord sneers, conjuring a second set of limbs to wave dismissively while continuing the scratching. “Nothing will come out of those silencings, and I’m not about to waste my time letting them take potshots at me. Let Celestia roast the lot of them.” He smirks. “Or let Chrysalis eat them. Preferably in that order, but I’m not picky and neither is she.”

“Uhh,” Lemon says dubiously. The general consensus on the train agrees with her.

Discord rolls his eyes, though at least they stay in his skull this time. “Just kidding! Mostly. It wouldn’t happen to a more deserving pack of parasprites.”

“Sure,” Lemon agrees, but it’s the forced kind that signals somepony unwilling to continue a discussion. She turns to her sisters, bouncing excitedly. “Hey, did you hear about the Golden Oak Library?”

“Hey!” Apple Bloom objects as the other ponies watch Lemon eagerly. “Ah thought Ah was sayin’ that!”

Her irrepressible sister continues anyway. “Dam was telling me that there’s a whole castle where it used to be!”

“There is?!” Diamond Tiara exclaims loudly. She gulps as heads swivel to face her, the stern expression of her dam quite severe indeed. She would hate to disappoint her! She chuckles nervously, pearly whites gleaming as she smiles ineffectually. “I mean, it only makes sense for a Princess to have a castle, right?”

“Yeah!” Lemon agrees whole-heartedly. “And we’re gonna need all that extra space, too!” She grins at her younger sister. “I mean, it wasn’t terrible sharing a room with Meringue, at least when she was a year old and stopped crying every night.” She grimaces, and it looks just as out of place and wrong on her muzzle as it does on Pinkie Pie’s. “Teething.”

“Ugh,” Discord moans, a paw running along the back of his head in exasperation. “What is with you ponies and making more of yourselves? I never saw the need to go about duplicating myself.”

“Uh,” Lemon says, torn between calling the draconequus out on his obvious lie, the other copy of his paw still absently rubbing along her back.

“Oh, please,” Discord says disdainfully, picking his paw up with his paw and slipping it over itself like a glove. He admires the perfect fit before it lunges at his throat, which he ignores. “Temporary facsimiles don’t count, because I still control exactly what they do. I gave up making autonomous beings of chaos when I got turned into stone.” He pauses a moment. “The first time, that is.” He taps a claw against his goatee while his paw gives up and goes back to idling on his arm. “I wonder how they are doing?”

“They invade Ponyville every now and then,” Lemon says with such indifference Discord is almost offended. “But still! A dozen foals!” She shakes her head, incredulous.

“Eleven,” Meringue corrects. “Or seven.”

“Maybe,” Lemon says with a snicker. She glances at Starlight Glimmer. “Depending on what you do with your four, and we don’t know where Cadance is gonna end up. But if the other Princesses’ foals are gonna stay here, maybe she’ll want to leave her foal here, too.”

“Don’t they have a big crystal castle in the Crystal Empire?” Apple Bloom asks, slightly confused.

“Oh, our castle isn’t good enough?” Scootaloo spits out jokingly.

Sweetie Belle adds, in a more serious voice, “Besides, why would they go all the way to the Crystal Empire? It’s not like she became their leader just because she’s got a Crystal Heart on her flank.”

“Huh,” Apple Bloom says. “Ah guess we’ve been busier than Ah thought, workin’ with everypony in Our Town.”

“Yeah,” Scootaloo commiserates. “Hey, you think Double Diamond could find a job in the Crystal Empire?”

“Yeah!” Sweetie Belle agrees. She struggles as her horn lights but manages to levitate a neatly organized notebook and pencil. “Either with the Crystal Ponies or with one of those firms surveying the mountains.”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Discord interrupts. He gawks at the Crusaders and their list of names, cutie marks, and interests. “Please don’t tell me you’re going to be working!”

“Why?” Apple Bloom asks, torn between curiosity and a certain dread that she normally only gets when Scootaloo gets a horn-brained idea. Or, worse, a human-brained one. “What’re we supposed to be doin’?”

Discord huffs as he motions to the other ponies nearby. Trixie continues dozing, Pomarbo watches apprehensively, Hedge joining him in trying to blend into the colorful walls. Lemon and Meringue at least seem somewhat eager, but he’s grown to expect that from them. Applebaum has pulled out her study material, lots of equations and structural diagrams from the looks of it. Starlight looks up from the Crusader’s notes, mildly concerned about the brainstorming on the plight of her fellow ponies who struggle with their cutie marks.

“You have a being at your hooftips,” Discord says testily, “with nigh-infinite power over space and time. And rather than ask him to cut literal hours off of your commute you would rather sit here!” He motions to Diamond Tiara and Spoiled Rich, who take care to lose their otherwise ever-present look of mild disdain.

“Well, yeah,” Apple Bloom says matter-of-factly. She flashes a grin to her fellow Ponyvillians. “Dam told me that Ah was to never owe ya anythin’. That she’d rather Ah sign over Sweet Apple Acres to cousin Flam an’ let him clear cut it than ask ya for a favor.”

“Ugh,” Discord says melodramatically, holding a shiny metal spike that appears to have sprouted from his chest. “A dagger through my heart!”

“And it’s not like you’re some genie we can demand wishes from,” Scootaloo says.

Sweetie Belle continues, “And what would we have done? Asked you to ‘Teleport us to Sparkle Castle, if you please?’”

Discord bows graciously as Trixie leaps up, saying, “Don’t mind if I do,” as he snaps his claws.

In an instant, the nine members of the Apple Herd, Starlight, Spoiled Rich, and Diamond Tiara find themselves at the bottom of a heap of their luggage in the middle of a dirt field in dire need of landscaping, or at the very least a rake to draw geometric designs around the rocks strewn about. There is a solitary wooden trapdoor, about one ponylength square, and nothing else. Besides the town to their south and a gaggle of apprehensive ponies debating if freezing in place or bolting is the safer thing to do.

“That’s it?!” Apple Bloom exclaims, huffing as she struggles to break free.

“Well, yeah,” Scootaloo says, first to break out and race forward. Applebaum follows shortly after. “Dam said there wasn’t much more than a bunch of empty rooms.”

“That’ll make a pretty terrible nursery,” Sweet Belle adds, carefully extracting herself.

“But an awesome dungeon!” Applebaum shouts, pulling up beside the sign that says ‘Caution! Property of Princess Twilight Sparkle! Keep Out!

“Alright!” Lemon is next, and soon everypony has gathered around, exchanging cautious glances. “Who’s ready to enter the Nungeon?”

Next Chapter: Ch. 6 - Unstable Payload, Part Two Estimated time remaining: 31 Hours, 19 Minutes